3- jThe Somerset Herald. CSTASLISHCD iraT Tei-nis of Publication. I ov.-.hed every Wedned7 moniioi- At 17 TO i tiiiu if p " " advance, oUxenriia 2 U) V a fciVArUlrly be cnarired, j Vo t-'jscri;i:oB wUl be dicoaUnaed until all ,, noi ;y ui ben sulcriber do not Uke out " r i-.-r will I hod rcsponiitie kh me no- i' ' ! f.,rcr;ifi rexsovini fran one iatoffice to i t .. n ih. nice of the former i- ...SiT Slivu." .-- - r c.. 'ae J'; Ths Somerset Uebald, Somerset, Pa. f L " fl OE.N E Y-A I-LA W, f " .VOTARY FUBLW I Somerset Fa. with WcxUae Hay. W- Vo ijaa t-trt, Pitfcargh, Pa. AlvfaVr-AT-LAW, DoMAErr, Fa. .tIO0dcire--w Bui-din. 111 Vi'i . r L . i-vv M FFKKLtl. UA " Ii'lViit.S LI-AT-La . bjtuiit, Fa. i ' . C. HOLSFP.T, A " AiiuHY AT LAW. - bouujrset. Pa. Afc .. .... v-,. .TVTAW iSonierrwt. 1. .'.-D W. BIE.-ECKFK, A- nun . n t ia "r.-' -S Hjuj Eow, opposite Court K. ..rt. J. G. Oclc :a-H ogle, r dt bouiauorr. Pa. J. KOO--KR A.lutUSKY AT LAW. somen!, I'A. i Anu-:.tV-ATLAW. ' ' bowerwt. Pa., t- k-e riiE'i sft:i;.(C to businc- eutriMed 1 ,"" r- i- U i-oie the Court V Ai lUh-.Si-i'-AT-LAW, ' Soiaertet, rA. i a -a L'inVr u Estt. .l aiu-uu to iu I HJi U. iilMMEL, U buaa entrutttd to hit cats 2,".' ..-Ui h-.i1 wauu-s, ilS proaipt- V7 -i i-. -'-'. oSi.-e uii jiica czutk btrcct. riiiii- L.rr.n. ) AlIOi-NJCY-ATLAW, .oitract, I A. ;a MiCJo;a Bluc k, up t'jurs. Kutnuioc '., t-TiUl.Utll. U1 ail lr" bUMUttli r J. rtUW-AS. L. tOLAOAJ.. V tC'li-'Ui" A C'tUJuRN, I , Alloiii'ii's-Al-LA, rj!.icrcl, P- i i eu:ru'ta to our c-re wiU b - ..Li u4 tiiu:aiiy Aturudwi U. iui-j f : : U UAt'K, i CL. Ai fUtSKY-AT-LAW. eojerset, Ta., t fr. :h la SKimfrnt And nljo.i.ir.g citiii- A.; ' :u. tl.L;-Uil.;a UJ .IU lJ IvtdT i .E t urn. s W. H. KrrriL. V'-'i rRuXil A RUPPEL, .V All'UltNhVa-At-LAW, I bomerset. Pa. f IU fcui-T.-i e- m-:ed to their cure will b y -.vc::r AUi iuictUAl:y AUt-uJ-.-J to. oiue on I T V. CAPUTilEIiS, M. D. ( ion l"iii.in .tTK-t. next luor to Pnututc DR. P. F. SHAFFER, hHVii(.iA.s a.nu BrK;E0S, &iMft.tis-T. Pa., : &.ar!rt And tcuiiir oae ovit iur to Dl U. 1L b. KIMMKLL. Ttu.itrt profvioiial frjrriocs to :be ritixenf i. J. M. LUUT1IER, I'HYilCIAX AXli ?l'EUE0S E Ift ittl pt-Tneuemly )n Somerset for th an- pruiaKiuu. Orice oa Maio street, a rtj cl Iru r'.-jre. DR. J..S.MMILLE', t:Tt ij. a! AUecuon to the preoerxAlion of -.'.Lti Ariiliriii kia in-rted. Ail V .-niM trau'.'ed kAtiriacUST. Uinoe in Use r-.suvc m :!.T.-irii o Co. ( store, corner J d pirio: sirevU. ' Oils! Oils! f" ; r' .'-'-i' i. li., i-iik-t a rjtia"ity of i'.i-mir.a!ing& Lubricating Oils japhtha and Gasoline, iraODUCT Or PETROLEUM. j I? yju wish the rau 1 ouifonaly jSatisfactory Oils 1 -IN THE American Market, .': m. Trm;e foi ' .-rsct Ad Ticioitj r:pi.;ico t.y i-O-'-'Z a . EEK1TS ASD 4'or mjitAitotT, Fa. !7iS7t7 PRUNING A SPECIALTY. HARRY M. BENSHOFF, KMFACTURIXG STATIONER AND BLINK liOOK MAKER. K ANN AM BLOCK. JOHNSTOWN. PA. S&YSaiasEHSIHES tv tiMofi f ( arr j-.'- tkrre limn nr T ' y f, ;' ln ninrk.t. ( riritnn I r-4. cosine :i ii,a. f-ri irrnne to btiti-4 'to.is.ih. A!o Sprint Twb llsr- Kaiin. C .l.i.'... I ... I'luct. Jgiifl UaCKSCLD, Hanfrs., YORK, PA. VOL. XLII. NO. -THE-FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF- Somerset, Penn'a. CAPITAL SURPLUS $50,000. $12,000. DEPOSITS HCCEIVCOIN LARGE A N O SMALL ACCOUNTS. PAYABLE ON DEMAND. ACCOUNTS OF MERCHANTS FARMERS, STOCK DEALERS, AND OTHERS SOLICITED -DISCOUNTS DAILY. T.OARD OF DIRECTORS : LiRr M. Hicks. "W. H. J-illib, James L. Ptuh, Chas. H. Fshis, Johs E. Socrr, Geo. R. Sccll, FUID W. ElKSICKAE. Edwaud Sctil, : : VALK.vriNa Hat, : : : : Peksidsxt Vui Pkeidext : : : Cashixs. IIakvev M. Rkhklev, Tiie funds nJ securities of this hank are securely protwtel in celebrated Cor- 1ib8 i-urj;!ir-'roof i-ale. I lie only bale made absolutely Burglar-proof. SomeisEt County Katlcnal Bank Of Somerset, Pa, LtUbi'-iM, 1S77. Orgn!;i II i Nitionj!; 1830, CAPITAL. $50,000. Chas. J. Harrison, Tres't. Wm. II . Koontz, Vice Pres't. Milton J. Pritts, Collier. Directors: gam"l Pnydet. Jn..h SplH hi. Joa'i li- ti:.yltT ji. Jih B. Wm Fn.isJcy. Joua 'oob, Jt.na MuOt, HKrnn ayder. Jerome lunv. Rim. B. Hitnin. CafMiaem ot Uiis Bank i.t;vc tpe roft liiri tn'is:uteuiiM:trut -iiu!feiaTakia. fames wiiiiniJ to i-u.4 moii'-y rt or weal caa be AruTji.iat.d ty drait tor miy air:i;t- Mor.er e:il aiuatl -nirea ty onwer Iie tM!d t CclebnW SaiVs. wi:ti niOt apiiroved time kxL. Coliecti.nn made in All rrt o! the Silked ttsu-s. CiiK!?i moderate. Acoot-u.u aad iKriwi.ts solktc-d. laArVCm nsiiiiY iu in nisi ft 121 A 123 Fourth Ave., PITTSBUBGH, PA. Undivided Profit $250,000. Acts as Executor, Guardian, Assignee and Kccvivcr. Wil',3 recfii-ted for and held free of iharv'S. Easiness of residents an.l non-rtidt-nU cart fully attended to. JOHN B. JACKSOX, - President. JAMF-S J. I0SXELr Vice President. FRANKLIN BROWN, Secretary. JAS. C. CHAPLIN, Treasurer. NEW Dress Woolens. FOR AUTUMN AND WINTER. We're showing immerse lines and cli-iice, dt s-irable ttatK iil brn:lit and well-selected fr ):n t!i beit of the fed son's production?, ct both foreign aud dr,iiitic looms. Prices to suit you all, from 2e to $2.50 a yard. A very desirable and extensive range cfnew Fall Dress Woolens. Cheviots, llopsacts, Illuirjitiiited (T To-tonel Fabrics, Mixtures, Plaids, Checks etc., in all the new color combinations nud 2S inch 50 cent stufl's, At 45 Cents a j a.-d. 5 cents a yard is not a big saving, bat 5 tents on every yard 1! the year is qirte an item, and worth looking after tiiee times. When vou come to the Western Penr.'n Espoeition, the raid tranrit facilities cable and electric care, will bring yen to the Allegheny pide iu 3 minutes, and i's orth year WLileto come to this tide if yon have anv trading to do. If you're not coming to the ExX)Sitson write us for SAMPLES. PRICES. and a copy cf our illustrated catalogue AND ftSfHION JOURNAL, or write us any way, w hethcr you'll be in the city or not. Pott yourself npDn the styles and p Boggs & Buhl, 115, 117, 119 and 121 fWcral St'e 15 Ifr. J. A. ll hrrtrr "While Serving My Country 1 ;iS Uikeu ill villi si iiial t!;.p.-n AaJ rln u timU.m. V. h. n I returnrd ho;i:o liiy troulild was ul!;i me, a:iJ I wascnrcicd torny Ud, e:ia!.-: to liel mysel f r fi i!io.it:a. A Tier t.i.!:i7 scvi-a iiutties of 1! x'. s S.ir.ap-.n.l-, I r as v..-:i an-.l hao ut ilneo N-eu tio;!!.;; T.i:rt my dM -otrpraiii: My wife wan in ill health, Buffcnnj v. UU l.e i'la. lizi::cTt aud dy llisu. bhe toi.k two iHiiitos t Hood's SarsspariMa ani fe:-'. u new noaina.9 J.vtrs A. Uiie: i.i :;, i. o l ivi-i -n S. l'.u'.iiirori', 5!iL Hood 's Pit's ere " tt' t ult.-rlnaer VtUi, uii.- a, ct;iL- i.t-iuu'.-a. Tiy a box. SAILED TIIESEAS 38 YEARS. One cf His Experiences. TV.r i ir v-'i'dt yarj :,t-, l oud foilOTod K;- i: tn f that t i nr- a- m&Mt-r tf a vti - :. t.--!j t'-tirinjr I run l fu ;r nr hp :i j-i- ii t y t:it JHTlvta ry i.f It c t:.v i vj: y t r -in ( l int, lid - ;tl 1.. :i; " , la vIii.'ii fMi-!M"!i lieltt'UJ it) Jle i-.'I t . - t) t i;-rn :m v :if foiititf - i"i ; i. r:.: vt .irs l.;.i Uru tPMiMt-d vl'h . uur-:t .s iiJ j-niQ ii tL n-i:i'ii , ii v i, :it. My fit atn-t n tTi 1 io?i v.;ia s ; ! s .-: it :is :lr.it"--t imiio-isit.lt ;it liny i .-.i-' t ?i ::in r- '-t ami ! p. Having & n I"r. M:;-o r.-nn-;iis hlwr;i-HJ I pan ut'ig Afit-r taUtti a small (iaiti t( ttiu it- i-'l va-jriat li.nl 1 HsVo-i- p, .-i :i :. .liiiIi wtMj'd Ittiaiiy ( i:?.iur: t-ih -, i. --: wit on Im-im a-ur u :'V tin tlrur !r ; ii v. a fn-rfrrtly Jjarmii--. 1 rwiiio i I i: i4 -ii r t. it Ii tl) lliurt urt. T (i :y M'l-. ifi.TiiMisly s.-'y ii;-t Ir. 1;'.V -ir ivc Ntrvi!i ami St w Ii ai f ( un anl I; i. :- w.;' 1 hart tttiy t tiifiir ! had ever liki-n. t :1 !' -oa tii-:i"-d l-y t-mini'itt I !.yr-i.-i:i:i in -j: k i'-nd Mn t raru-i-4'o It hnut N-ti- ;i I vh my jirvvut eixni !.i:ii;h t'ill.e jvi! It iiOf-f iitrt v a I tii' I -it r'Ti.-l;t :i : ! ' ir i y iivmiiciid t?ti-ni to all a tit d ar I ,.. -." apt. A. I. Loud. I!:.nj"'' ti M'- t:r. i ,hn' iNToral i v 1 tit a i id Nriv I'-ijv uu- -.i.d yiilidruiristsnn a pt.iive:rmran t.--. tf -v Ip. Miles Medii-al KlUhart, i'l-i.. o-i vijit ol -irif, 1 1 n r buit-'. of (v.: ;-, f.rr ;. 'ir I'lvpald. Tt;y aie : "a- all -plaiv-i end daif-.i-oua ai uirs. FANCY WORK. Some til cat liaryalns In IRISH POINT LUNCH AND TRAY CLOTHS Bought le!ow cost cf transportation we are selling at great bargains white aud colored lied ford Cord T-ble Cov ers, .tamped ready for working. Sing ed Canton Fb.ttin.el Table ami Cush ion Covers, Singed Pl'ih Cushion Covers, Uargarran Ait Cloth Table and Cushion Covers, all etamped with New tit Designs ; Ilcni-siitcLed liot Biscuit and lioll Napkins. A tie and large line of hem-stitched Tray and Carving Cloths from COcta up.' Stamped Hem-stitched Scarfs from 35cts up. Tdbie Covers froat 50 eta. up. A fail line of Figured INDIA SILKS, All New Tatterns and Colorings. Also, Figured Plush, 24 an.I 33 inrhej wide, in bean::f;il Colors ami Designs. Art satin Si('ianps for the C'eutril Covers and Cushion Covers. Waban jSTettiiig, V inches wide, 50 (ents jr vard. it Tinlt, Eiiw-. Hve and Yeilo. THE NEW THING fur ltraping Mamies and Ijri, and for l'raj.ir, O.'tt JraH-r;ts. Arewliijeof Head rets, from 2V up. VUit our Table Linen, Towel, Napkins, Muslin, Sheeting and Linen Department, by ail mcaiis. HOME & TOD. 41 FilTH A VEX U. rilt.-burgh, Ta. FAT PEOPLE. To i-t-i-H-e y-ur mt-ivht suRCLY Vi!Urds (....iiu mi'l lje !." a mn.h. Nu jurr lo tin b.-ttitli. So lutt-rfcreiii c bn-i-ue-i w yU4ur-3. mo STARVING. T.I- v !U'i4 tip Mid kmrov tlic ff -iit;rAl ijfuli... brautlfy ue .impl'il..ii i--d It-kve mo WRIWKICS. I9 An .nx in. M A-tUirn ., Cui""t"'-t vnt;: tit'vr irt'ti tif jpiMr ttit rul mia-vi i.iw a V.nti I t rer J. It itur t' vll ft -,ih I fe h'lj tr. Our pritmtr- include I'hy M'Lin 1-nnfet rs, i jiwyers ani Uderso! Kicitrty. tur fc-x? r u"l r.'.J ia dru-f uft ; all onkn tre (".iTlit-d dirv! Irom our ;'.ht. lriw per I-acfcye i-LOuor Unt jjikaijes fur 5.0i ty mad prt iRitd- I-arrMTifti-s Malt-d 4 cts. Ali com-s-poiidvuce couidc-n;ial. WILLAF.D REMEDY CO.. BOSTON. MASS CeVEATS. TRAQ2 MARKS, DESICN PATENTS, COPYfttCKTS. etoJ Irrtrfnrmalrc irrd froe H-3ook wnt.ta Kl'NS A to. j.1 ItaoAIKAT. M VobC OMrst t'Crt ta f.r securi, g paiect. In Anmw. Xtctt ffmi tfaken out tr o to bnjchi ?.f.ira the poitao 1J ABouoa tfJ'tfU tree ol cha.se the f ricntific American LArrnet errmlal km of any rteatlfle parwr h the eono. bpteooidlr tlicnrateo. u iitteliirftut Baa aould lie with. ml It. Wect'r, j.oo A Jcart i-'JrtI rnomiia, A.VdreM AlCNx A CtA, &l 'A.ri ;-': ' !'? :''i- - , J- - r i : . 4 Scicntifto Amsric&a fis Agencyr " V-VS TRAOa MARKS, V DV DESICM PATENTS, omer SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1893. Why Robin Loves You. BY aha. X. A. KIM.tlt. "Why I l.,ve E..Ua M Ti e--y to ae. But why, tell me truly. Ioe Robin lore me?" Ah ! little maiden, With eys biitl.t ond blue. Every we knowa, dear. Why Eoliin loves you. Robin loves liower-. And you are hU K.r-e, Sweetot and faired ttfauy thai gtxM. Eobin loves mii-:r, Aud you are bia wing, Singing 1; ever. His heart gruwelh strong, R.bialovt brii;!ituwt, And you are ht thh . S'i:i'.iLr,ht aud moot.iiglit, And stars all in out Roi.in lovca rioiui. Aud you are his wraith : Hy and merry And ni-y with health. Robin titele cikitih-I. And you are hi gnid.., Coiupa.a and plummet, A:iJ anchor, tJS!il.'. You are so tender, Aud you are o true. There is no wonder That Bo)in loves yo'L A DOWRY OF HERRING. It was the 20th of January, 1705. The French army had entered Amsterdam and the soldiers wailed in groups in the square where they had stacked their guns to have their lodging aligned thorn. Notttitbstanding the inclemency of the weather the inhabitants had left their houses to welcome thi3 liberating army. Tiie g-eatest enthusiasm reigned in the city,andi;n the evening every house was illuminated. Near the Admiralty, however, stood oachoiiTse w hose dark and silent aspect contrasted strangely with the brilliant exterior of its neighbors. A narrow Courtyard inclosed in a high wall, with a porte cochere intervened between the street aud the house, and ail the doors and the blindt were now closely secured. This was the house of Master Woerden. Master Woerden was a Iutch meich- ant, I.otirely taken up with his com mercial aflairs, he was totally indi liferent to the political events which so interest ed his countrymen, besides which he too thor-juhly understood domestic econo my to wate can-ilcs after the prodigal fashion of his neighbora. At this niorueEt Master Woerden was seated in a comf.irtable armchair in front of a blazing lire. His fur bordered robe was folded across his chest, and his wolf skin cap as pressed dona upon his brow whoso few scattered gray hairs offered no protection from the sharp cur rents of frosty air that found entrance at every opening of the door. On a table near hira stood a polished brass laain, a large pitcher and a clay pipe. In the chimney corner an old ser vant, whose extreme emponpoint betray ed her Flemish origin, occupied herself with occasionally stirring and feeding the f pen fire. Presently the doorbell rang and the servant rose quickly tj answer it. A few moments later a young man entered, who threw his cloak on the sofa and ap proached the old man. 'Is it you, William?" exclaimed Mas ter Woerden. "I had not expected you so early! " "I left Broek this moning," he repli ed, with a respectful salutation, ''bat the roads are so cumbered with soldiers and fugitives that it has taken me ail day to get here." "Did you see Van K'.berg?'' The young man sat down by the fire before answering this question. "Yes, eirl" he said slowly. "Master Van Elberg consents to the marriage, but he refuses to give his daughter more than 4'XX) ducats as her d jwry." "Ah 1" cried Master Woerden frowning heavily, "then he may keep his daught er and her dowry." "But father, let me" "Hold your tongue, William. At your age one would sacrifice everything to love, but let me tell you love fades away, while money remains." "But Master Van Elberg is one of the richest men in Holland, and what he will not give his daughter in hia lifetime wiil surely come to her at his death. "What then ? Am not I as rich as he ? Listen to me, my son. Yoa will one day succeed me in my business. Kemember then these two axioms never give more than you receive, and do nothing fur the sole bent tit cf others. Theso are good rules for marriage as well as for com merce." "But" "Let the matter rest my son. We will not speak further of it now." Wi.liam knew the self-willed obstina cy of his father too well to reply, and sat still in great sorrow and perplexity, w bile the old man calmly smoked his pipe. Again the doorbell rang, and the dogs in the courtyard began to bark furious- "Ah 1" said Master Woerden, "it must be some stranger. Look out of the win dow, William, and &ae who it is." Th" young man aid so, saying in tones of surprise : "It is a mounted militiaman, father !'' Presently the o'.d servant brought in a letter, which Master Woerden received with an air of great disquietude; but on tearing open the envelope with impatient fingers his facts assumed its wonted ex pression of serenity as he read the in closure. "That is well! he said, as he handed the letter to his son. It was a requisition from the govern ment for 400,000 herrings to be delivered within a month for the use of the French army. "William 1" exclaimed the old man, after a moment's reflection. "I have an idea. Yoa shall marry Van Fiber's daughter, and she shall have a good dowry, too." "Can it be possible ?' Leave it to me. As the canals are all closed by the ice, be ready with two saddled horses at daylight to-morrow. Ah, my son if yoa o&ly inherit your father's genius !" The next morning the rising sun saw the two travelers on their way to Broek. They arrived about midday, but were obliged to leave their horses at an inn outside the village, as neither horses nor EST A Ttr.TRHED 1827. carriages were permitted to enter its streets. Broek enjoys in Holland an ex traordinary reputatiou for neatness. The streets are paved with polished stones in different colors, which are arranged in Mosaic design. In front of each houte is a space, reserved for the use of its inhab itants, which is inclosed by an iron rail, with bright ornaments of bra-s and fur nishtd with settees of carved wood. So great is the mania for cleanliness that a withered leaf cannot fail in 'one of those elegant parquets without the family's rushing out in the utmost haste to re move it. When Master Woerden and his son arrived with suow laden shoes, many covert glances of indignation followed their progress towards Master Van El berg's house; but as they wete at once well known and highly respected, no ojen remonstrance was made. O n reach ing their destination, however, the ser vant met them at the door with suppers in hand that they might leave thtir heavy shoes outside. When the travelers entered the par!.r, not only Master Van Elberg but his charming daughter also received them witli much cordiality. Clotilda wore the custom of her coun try. The short, full skitt, richly decorat ed with embroidery, the velvet bodice and the dainty cap with its border of lace, the gold band across her dark hair, and the heavy gold earrings thickly set with jewels, made a picturesque garb that daintily set off her fair, placid features. "tiood morning, Master Woerden!. cried Van Elberg, as he held out his hend cheerily to his visitor. ' "You are wel come. Hate the French scarel you away from Amsterdam ?'' "They have not troubled me in the least," replied Woerden. "You know I care as little for the French as for the Prince of Orange. Politics never interest me. I come to propose a good .specula tion." "That is well ! What is it ?" returned Van Elberg. "I have engaged to deliver lOO.OdO her rings in a montn. Can you furnish them to me in three weeks?'' "At what price? ' "Ten Ilorins a thousands." "Ten florins? Yea! I will undertake to supply them." "Good !" returned Woerden, rubbing his haads together contentedly, as the dining-room door was now open, display ing the plentiful breakfast which await ed them. After partaking liberally of the good things before bitu, for the long ride bad eharpened his appetite, Master Woerden glanced significantly at the young girl, who shyly turned her ryes away from him as he U'gnn to dis-rasi the question of the young folks'. n:atmge. Finding his host firmly insisting on giving his daughter only the dowry he had before fixed, Master Woerden made but a fcigu ed remoustrauoe to these terms, aad in the eud conceded the disputed point. It was then decided that the marriage should take place in eight days. As they returned to Amsterdam the next day, William ventured to ask his father why he had thm agreed to Master Van Elberg's terms. "My, son," replied Master Woerd,n gravely, "do not disturb me about trifiea. This coutract for herrings is a serious matter and requires all my thoughts." Once more in his ow n house, Maiter Woerden shut himself up for hours in bis own room, and when he at length came forth he gave his small servant a large package of letters to mail. Three days later the old man, with hij wrinkled face alight with triumph, whis pered to his son : ""Ah, Wiiiiatc, I have your dowry all ready for you." On the appointed day for the wedding Master Woerden and his son returned to Broek. This time they were received with great ceremony. The wide folding doors that are only opened for cb listen ings, weddings and funerals were drawn apart and a large party of friends and relatives were assembled. The masttr of the house, however, came to meet them at pale and troubled in counte caucethat William feared lie hal some bad news to make known. Master Woer den did not share his son's alarm, for Le knew only too surely the can.sjofbis hoet'.- distress. "What troubles you, dear friend?" he said, with a hypocritical smile. "Yoa look anxious and worried." "Ah? I am cruelly erabf.rras?ed ! I must speak with you at on:e." "Can it ba this marri-.tge that displeas es you? Do yoa wh-h to retract your consent?" ' Oh, no !" "Weil, then, let us go on with the cere mony; when tuat is over and your friends are amusing themselves we can speak of other matters." Master Van Flberg hesitated. He would gladly have put all eUe aside till his distressof mind was explained; bat seeing also how much wiser it would be to take the advice thus given him, he gave the signal for the marriage to go on. A few moments later the wedded pair were kneeling at the altar to receive the church's blessing on their union, and immediately on the return of the party to the house, Master Van Elberg hurried hia gtv&t into his private room. "My friend," he said anxiously, as soon as he had closed the door, "I have engaged to deliver -ICOO herrings to y ju in fifteen days, and I have not yet succeeded in getting a single one. They are all sold." "Of course they are !" cried Master Woerden, with a bur it of Uuhtrr ; "I have myself bought them !' "Ah !" cried Van Elberg, after staring a moment at his companion in utter amazement. "What then do yoa ex pect" "That you will fulfill your engagement. Listen to me my friend. You will one day leave your daughter a large fortune, and I shall do as much for my son. That is all very well for the future, but for to day they are not on equal terms. I shall give my son a share in my business, but yon give your daughter only 4000 ducats. I have not wished to disappoint our chil dren's hopes, but I have planned to com pel you to be more just ia your arrange ments." While Master Woerden thus spoks his companion was becoming more and more bewildered. "This is what I have done," continued the merchant of Amsterdam ; "you have engaged to sell me thesa herring? at ten fli rius a thousand, but I already have them. Y'ou can only retrieve your honor by buying them from me, I will sell them to you for fifty fl orins a thousands. Thus, you will pay me lti.tKW florins, and we are quits." "It is well," replied Van Elberg, who bad now regained control of hi3 scattered wits. "You area skilful merchant and have caught me finely. " He bowed ceremoniously to his com panion, turned to his desk and drew up a check for the required sum, whiih he htndcd to Master Woerden with another bow. The two fathers then returned to the parlor to take part in the wedding festiv ities. Eight days later the merchant of Broek came ttisit bis daughter, who now liv ed with her husband at Amsterdam. He found Master Woerden in j-reat tribula tion. "Ah, friend Van Elberg!" be cried in despair, "what shall I do? The timber men are bringing in my herrings, and I cannot find a single cak to pack them in. Tiiey will all le spoiled." "Ah, ' relurne 1 Van Elberg, coldly. "You bought np a'.l the hr-rring aud I have bought ali the casks. I could sell them to you at an exhorbitant price, but as I wish to keep my word about giving my daughter her dowry of luOO ducats, I w ill only charge you the amount you skilfully made out of me in the other mat ter. You are vtry cunnirg, vou merch ants of Amsterdam, but w e of Brock have positive genius, you see." "But you got the i lea from me!".re- spended Master Wavr l.n proad!y. ?V t..W..i', 7 (r t!:( .rh j;r 11 A Cure Tor Stammering. i ::: army of millions, w hi; !: 1 ,r a qui. -ler A gentleman who starmiir-rod from j of a millennium and more ninco Win childhood aluiost np to manhood gives ! throp planted bis lir-d po;t in M i-;-ucIi u a very simple remedy f.jr the luisf.-rtuue : I rt!s aad Joha Smith in Viigitiia, hive tio into a room where you will be quiet ) been marching upon the wildorne-'s, t.ll ana alone, get ?on:e 1 o k t.int Wu in- tercst but r.ot excite y.a and sit down! end rea 1 two hours aloud to yinrse.f, j keeping your teeth together. Do this J every two or three days, or once a Week if very tires-om?, always tailing care to j read idowly and distinctly, moving tha ! lips, but no: ths toe'.h. Taen, wh-a j conversing with other?, try to speak slowly and distinctly as possible make up your tiiind that you will not stammer. Well, I tried this reme ly, not having much ftith in it, I must confess, lit willing to do aluiost anything to curt? myself of such an anno.ing di.ii.-ulty. I read for two hours alou 1 with my teth together. The fir-it result was to make my tongue and jiws ache '.hat i t, make me feet as if something had loos-.-ncd my talkinz apparatw, for I coii'.d speak with less difTiuTly liiitiie-Ti.itely." "Ths change was so gT-cat that every one who knew m' reuiatked it. I rrp-af- 1 this remedy every live cr six days ler a month, and then at longer infeivals until tuteJ. C.-l II. .WU. Figs and Yhistles. Mark this : When you worry you have ceased to trust. (Jo-t's children all have a light when He sends the night. Sin is the surest detective any man ever had on bis track. The corner-st one of a lawyer's houce is a fool's head. It is not often that the devil makes a mistake in bis bait. All egs will count as such, but only the good ones will a-t. Nothing cart make us richer that does not make as thankful. The lightcross for you is the one you don't want to take up. Every trouble that comes to a Chris tian makes bis Bible bigger. If your scales an I measures are wrong your heart is not light. The man w ho expects to bid his sins good bye one at a time will never get them all behind him. The man who says the world ow es him a living, always has au np-hiil tia.ein collecting the debt. Death of the Apostles. It is generally believed that only one of Christ's apostle?, John, escaped martyrdom. Matthew is supposed to h ivv' been slain with a sword ia Ethiopia. Jamtp, sin of .-be-lee, was beheaded at Jerusalem. James, the brother of our Lori, was thrown fro n a pinnacle of the temp'e, and then beaten to death with a filler's club. Philip was hange.l np against a p:!iar of iller-opo'.is, a city of Fiiryira. Bartholomew was iltyed alive at Albanapolis, i:i Armenia. An. he sulfered martyrdom on a cross at Patrae, in Achaia. Thomas was run through the body with a lance at Coromandel, in the east Indies. Tha ldeus was shot t death with arrows. Si noa Zelnfcs was crucified ia IVrsi t. Peter w.n cru cified, hea l downward, it issai !, during the N-rroian pers-xir.ioa. M ith'us was first 6tnned and then beheald, and Paul was beheaded at U :no by tiie tyrant Nero. Jilaa Iic-ariot, after the betrayal of our Lord, banged himself. An Umbrella is Good for a Shower. A man was ouce advi cd lo take show er baths for the trenera! improvement of bis health. A friend explained to hira how to fit up one by the use of a cistern and colander, and he accordingly set !o work and Lad tbe thing arranged. SdJst-quently he was met by tbe friend who had given him the advice and was asked how be er joyed tho hath. "My dear fellow," said he, "it was capital. I liked it ready wcli.and w hat do you think? I kept myself dry, too," "Whatever do you mean ?" exclaimed his friend, in natural surprise. "How ever could you manage to take the show er and yet remain quite dry ?" "Why, you caa't think for a moment I should be so stupid aa to have a shower bath without an umbrella? was the innocent reply. Lon-hu Td E'.l: Mrs. McCorkle Your Laiband is a very stilish man, I enderstan J. Mrs. M.Crackle What makes yon understand that ? I hear that be seldom gets home until tro in the morning. How does that make him stylish ? It shows he's the Litest out. Herald Where and What the ' kee Str p" Is. 'Chero- The word " frontier," in the senw in which it has been used for the last 2v) years on this continent, may be erased from the American vocabulary. With the opening of the Cherokee Outlet the thing its; If no longer exists. With "It goes that stalwart type degenerate of late years, to be sure, into Cow boy and Hustler the frontiersman, who from the days of Natty Bumpo to those of Kit Carson has been in fact and fiction, the most delightfully picturesque product of New World civilization. That phrase perishes, too. With ".the addition of the arable part of these 6100,000 Cherokee acres to the 1'0 j iJJ,-O-.V) already under cultivation the north ern half of this Wtstern World is new r.ol .nger. The name is c-:tgr.wa f.r American us-.. Tilt VKr " I..NOKU " Vill i'.'' The "wnining of the Wejt," as one his torian has .-ailed i!; the va.-t phenome non cf the movement of the pc-'p'e t ." the glo't-e, in whieh, as another Litviian has sal.!, the civil war was a mere inter lude, is over. Uncle Saul's lon lan 1 de bauch, his riotous spending of his aere.-D, has closed. The period in w hi.-ii he must do battle on equal terir.s with the elder nations in the struggle for suprema cy of race and survival his opened. Therefore they are historic figures that are now pasvng over the K m.-os and Nt-br.iska bor ler anil driving yo ttig Mr. I-amar an ! his six Lin I O.li je clerks in to incipient paresis as they clamor about ths booths for the certificates which w ill enable them to becima fr-.-e holders cf the l ist American soil to be given away j to settlers. They are lb." last guard cf ! not the wilderness has i!s serrate laud owners as much as Nc'.v York C:tv. "lit: fKoMiKI) I.AM). The Cherokej a'.rip is valued at 000. Time was when the e:r!y html escalator?, Colonel Duer here au 1 R-ob-rt Morris iu I'hila le!phia, languished ia jail becaue their creditors would not j j take such pitches of Western lands in , ! payment fir jetty personal debts. The "strip is 47 miles wide and 1S" ini'es ; lo:;g, aa l though it contains Cvorilfitl ! acres, au i t Jro thirds of this is as lit for j farming as New York State, the other I thir 1 wul require irrigation, which is a ! problem of the future. Tiie be-t of the ! land, however, will realize to the suecess- ful boomers all that the Israelites prr.in j ised themselves in their Canaan cf milk I and honey afler their Fpies came back to them. The climate will a'.low of farin 1 iug for ten months in a year. Tiie boomer j f aa, if he has cattle, let his laud lie i.t j pasture, for it is covered with blue stem, game, buffalo and other succulent grasses. If he has none he caa begin with wheat, corn and oats, anil go on as he gathers capital and experience and realizes the value of rotation into Etigarbeet and sor chum, and even tobacco and cotton rais ing. There is macic in that soil. Then be can piss f.om firming into viticulture for Ctlif.jrniaas have said that the otitlit is as well adapt tit f. ult raiaing, and thcret'ire f.-r wine making, as the south errs ptrlion cf their own fivored Mate. T:e b -ucr will h ivj this trctuen-l vis a Ivasifjge over previous settlors of the pu':ie domain in that the railr u Is 1. ivc preceded hira with their ficiiiiirs ft bringing products to irarkcL Three lines cross the strip the Santa Fe main line on the cast, a branch of it on the southwest and the I the.niddle section. I ck Island through la so s nal! a terri- tory but few lateral feeders will le nec essiry to bring every corner of it w ithin reach of tiie produce dealers cf Kansas C.ty an. I St. Louis. HOW TO GET THE I AND. In order to get the land the boomer or boouieress must tile aa affidavit at the Land O.li.-e to the effect that he or she is a citizen of the I'nited States or has de clared intention to become such, and th.-.t he or she does not own lo ) acres of land in any othw Mate or Territory. This process may be gone through with either before or after settling. It is safe to say that nearly every boomer has gone through with it before, f r which pur pose L. 2. C. Lamar and L. D. Pae and six Interior Department clelks st up booths iat Saturday j ist caUide cf Hen nery, Oklahoma Territory. Tills di-ne, the boomers are ready for the grand rush. Each can select his 10 aires cf land, lis must, then live fireyears upon it and tt.en pay the s iveratneut jd Ot', " 1.2"), fl.o) or ;J tci an ace, with 4 per rent, inl -res, according to its ! cation, as indicated on the accompany :i:g nap. Hundreds of the boomers are of course speculators, who will sell their claims af ter they have perfected then. The last of the public domain is boun ded on the north by Kansas, on the east by the remainder if the Indian Ttrri!i ry, out tif which it is carved ; on the south by the iufaut Territory of Oklahoma, and on the wett by the portion of tha Ir.diaa Territory known as No Man's Lin 1. Its political structure at the pres ent consists simply of seven counties, named temporarily K, L, M, N, O, P and Etch has ll.O acres of laad reserved for the site if i county seat. The rival railroads will take a hand in the eariy creailcn of a Territorial capital out of one of these sections. I NU.E SAM PVIO for. TilC LANK. The land comes to Cncle Sa:n honest, iy. It was given to th3 Cherokecs in IS-1J as a bunting ground, and therefore called their "O-itiet." Tht y then claimed it iu fee, but the courts decided that they Coa'd only use it for its original purpose. Nevertheless, Cncle Sam g-tve them OW,'"!' for their right to hunt over the srouu l, fcresteicg that the privilege might be an ak ward one to give up. He was a small man, the conductor of an electric car, aad she was a large, powerful looking woman. "I want you to put me off at Concord street"' shj said. He viewed her mfjisti; figure for a momeiit, and replied : "Midara, I w ill s cp the car and !tt yoa get off." Children don't feel as bad as they should when their moher gets sick, be cause they get so many goo 1 things that the can't eat. WHOLE NO. 2200 A Certa'n Cure for Insomnla. " I once was a sufferer from insomnia," said a dentist who l.ves in oue of the small villages of the state, as he sat talk ing with other men io the sitting room of an np town hotel, "but I got rid of the trouble." " What did you tak? for it ?" " Bucking pony." " Tell us about that, please." " Well, you see there was notbintr the matter wi'h me only I couldn't sleep. The dsKtor looked me over and said I wasn't suffering from any disease that he could detect, but all the same I could get only a few rat-naps every night, and I feit that I would go cray if such a con dition of affairs continued mu h longer. A w isa friend of mine advised me to try horsehii.k exerciso. Just at that time a man lal brought to the village a string of jxmies from the west. As the ponies werr wild they were offered cheap. I bought or.e. He was such a sleepy look ing animal that wd called him Kip Van Winkle. After we knew him better we dropped part cf th name and called him plain Kip. The first ride I toot on him furnished excitement fjr the whole vil lage. Two men helped me to sa Idle and mount him iu the stable. When the door was opened he shot out into the street like a streak of lightning. " He ran full against the fence opposite the stable an I broke several pickets. Then he reared up on his hind legs and cime near throwing me over backward. Next he tried to stand on his hea l, but I yanked Lira back to his feet aud drove the spurs into him. !! started to run then, an I ! let hita go as fast as lie could leg it until we g-t to the Methodist Chnrch at t!i0 end of thestreet. A teni-peraTu-e meeting was being held in the church and the door was open. I co"M stop the pony we were chart h and half way up the aisle lit fire in the Worn- en fcrvamed and feinted. "Some of the men led Pip back into tbt strett. I didn't dare to get eff bis h.t -k. When t!icieu let go of the bri dle he began to buck, and for a few min utes I thoitcht my neck would be broken, lie wonl.i j:o at a gallop when be went at all. 1 at he would stop now and then t indulge itrsonie bucking. Presently he cha.ved his tactics and went from one street to another, across lots, jumping t'-tices, titrning up llower beds, damaging otrdens and keeping me busy d'dit'-ng the branches of fruit trees. The next street lei to a turnpike, along which I spurred him lor miles until he was cov ered wiv'.i foam aad neatly tired oat. " He seemed to be docile w hen I got him back to the stab'e. Next day, bow ever, he was nearly as bad as when I first role hi a. an 1 every day f r a fort night I was oblige; I to race hhn along the turnpike several miles. My ! my ! llo be did b t :k ! Iwass)!a:ii3 at the end of tvo weeks that 1 couid scarcely walk to my oili ce, but I could sleep. A few minutes after I got into bed at night ! was sleeping souadly, aad I awoke ev ery nioraiag thoroughly refreshed." " Do yoa st.li ri le the pony .''' " No by the time I was cured of sleep lessness I had broken Eip to ride, and I sold bitu for d.ju'uiethe sum I bad paid for him. My advice to anybody who is suffering front insomnia is io get a but k ing pony and ride as fast as be caa. If no necks are broken, both man and pony will be benefitted by the treatment." .V. I". T:V ColonsI Phillips, Spactaclas. "The way jou Chicago people look at things reminds me of my old friead, Col. John Phiiliijs." The speaker was a large, hairy man, with a big slouch hat and a voice evi dently better adapted to the acoustic i properties t f the praitie than the smok- ing room. Heappta.el to realize this; as he g'ar.ied around and saw tveiy man in the room looking to ar t him, some j smiling, some scow ling. j "Tell us about your friend, the colonel,' I sugg-sted a real estate gent who had the hairy giant on the string for a big 1 cash trade. i -Why," continued the big man with the prairie voice, "Phillips sa w every- i thing that belonged to him big and everything belonging to me small ' "That's human nature " the egent was surest ing, but the pairie nun inter- children the right to 150 t the schools oi'a.l rupted with t ! joining districts from their own homes the "No, 'twaa't no human nature. 'Twas i aje as to schools iu the district! in which s;otctie!es: He got 'em made in this town, j reside, lie interprets the act to noean I believe von people all wear 'em too." j 5Utb bu"n " " '" bae ,em ' .. ,. ,1 ,,. 1 porary reseh-nce in tiie distri'-t where they 11.11. LTVU dl UlULl 111CO U.J WUI friend's spectacles poseess?' aked a C'lrio'ij ns'.ene'-. 'Juntas I've siiL property loo:a up in Thay made bis regular Chicago World's Fi people's st i f iViion, but s piatied other orsj'a a '.::uii D'g;irr5 bank" "Ho c ,u!d he do this ?" "Why, the blamed lenses worked on an axis and showed things telescope fashion, you know. S'pose there was a horse trade up; he'd let you look at your own horse through the ordinary little end of his gl t-vses, bit when you came to loo at bis he'd get at bis st-ecks again nn tr 111111,1 rrl.itr iilt II:i,lir Vin over the uiagr.i.'ying way and you'd eve a magnificat ani:u.!. It was tho same way with in uses, tracts of laa I, w heat liel.l.s, changing money anything. O.ice yoa looked through his glasses at any thing, yo 1 were his victim, for you feit as if you coil iu'i live uatil yoa traded jat as I 'hiil.ps wanted you to. Bt he met hisrewarl. Hettiela blilf giou oa big B llialo Jones of Ariz jna, to whom he hal by that spectacled j tgglery sA 1 I')J jacka?s rabhits f r burros, aud lijok e 1 at big Jones' six gun through the little end of his glasses, trying to pat him down s;aa!!. yoa know. But, ahis, it di In't work! ' "What happened'."' askeJ tbe agent. "Big Jone gua went off repeatedly just as Co'onel Phillips was adjusting his glasses. It was well perhaps," continued tbe prairie man, dropping bis voice so low that the belioait.-g cf tus in the river and lake coa'd giia be beard, "for my friend ba 1 acquired such a habit of trying to Uii up to the magnifying side of these glasses that his long enjoyed reputation for veracity was entirely sp'iled. We buried hi.u at Big Jones' expense, ard to prerent a recurrence of such a tragedy I took possession of the spectacles, aad" "Whatever became of them?" asked a hungry looking man woo had gone broke on a World's fair hotel scheme. 'T no wetr 'ein myself," said the big, Lai -y prairie njan. Chlciyo Trilone. Itemeof interest. No less then l!t).i children remiree.l tbeirstuJies iu the public schools of Phila delphia, wheti they re-0 for the fall t.-rtu. Ia the couiivt. live dr.lt Ueleeeu tbe re ctive Oiiii ao.rsof KuigljN of tue My:C t'jaiu, J )li:i.-town, Wednesday, Company C, York, won the fir prlz of lo. The state castle, in annuni srssioa tter?, tided cr?i ctrs ivr the j a. . foe t -a.m.Ts.i.'r.ei s of Aiit,heay count hareaiHeiieu' u secretary nrrlry tor de cision, reardTn.; theirrrk:aTmt oi the bil lot aqJ ihe r tr y r:,hts ol tie L.licn4' Ai i.i;.ce, oi lii cutinty. jo they may ocforui to tLe .:i:.:o:io mage of the s'.aie. Jarrs i .iiu. on his far:u near iiewart?-tow-, Ycrk county, notwithstanding the ur.fsorab' season, raised iJ bushel of Ptide of the West potato to the acre. One of these potatoes weighed two and a half pouo.ls anj they generally are of unusual' y large size. Tbe board of examiners of the Carlisle bar have refused the application of Miss IJ a . IvA.it, of Carlisle, to register as a law stu dent on the grounds that the rules of the courts of Cumler!and county do not admit womep t practice law. The application will be acjiea'f I U court by Senat: l.loyil . The IVntisylraiiia state building at the Wor'.J's Fair will be traii.-h-rre-l tn the Chi cago naval academy At tiie che of the expo sition. It is believed that the building can be lifted from its present foundations aad moved to the lako front for l',iam. Tbe Illinois naval reserve will ii-e the buildiug as an armory and will probably purchase tue farn'.lnrc. - Fx Judge Kuiard Camrbei!, of I'oion to-:i, Prohibition candidate fur j l.iga in the Fayette tireene district, lias declared that Secretary Hoke Smith's pension ruling are riht, aud, further, t hat if be ia elected judge he wiil grant every applicant who compile i with the la a license. Tne Crand Army of the Kepublic post, of which be is a nietu br. is considerably agitated over his pen si m views. Enoch Miner, of Uul'.skin township, Fay ette county, digs every Sunday night on thi farm of Ellas Cbristner iu quest of three crocks of gold, which his wife dreamed, the night before she died, could be found in a certain p'ac?. Ifrs. Miner dreamed that her uncle, Emanuel Sieasman. bal buried the treasure, S.i: or tlO.'mi, ou the fajm quarter of a century ago. None of it has yet been found. A big copperhead snake atta-ked Samuel Dlouse, a boy living at !t :cky, York coun ty. The !a i eva ie.l the Cist stroke of the dead y serjicnt, but the s-on 1 time the poison-la len fangi wer sunk deep into his band. Heroically voting douse tried to ' destroy the effects of his awful encounter by -uekinit oui the poisou, but this uperi- ' h'-'1'1 failed. Toe boy is still living, but his rtcovery is doubtful. The secret agents of the pension bureau ruve been at work in the P.ttsburg district for several werk gathering data upon which ! to institute criminal proceeding against a ! Ia-;e number of ptrsoos aileg-l to have ! been drawing pensions fraudulently. Seve ! ra! e'erks in the department have been sub p.e :aed to apiea; in the I'uited States Court i against a pension attorney who is alleged to have collected Illegal fie. On of the War's Episodes. O nana W.n.ilL-. il l : Another mon unisnt ha" been ereciei on the battltlii-ld of Gettysburg. It has been put there in com memoration of the charge made by the First Minnesota regiment on the fateful day when Gettysburg was fought. It happened this way ; Tbe fight was at its worst. Gen. ; Hancock carer along on an almot t exhausted j horse. Tne Confe derates were pressing so ' haril that the I'nit n lines threatened every second to be disio.lgeJ from their position. Ilciaforcements were coining, but they i would be live ru unites Pmo late. That live i minutes nu-ant defeat or victory. It could j be made a victory by putting a regiment j where it wouM take the Confederates five ruinates to shoot it Uowu. Gen. Haucotk looked at the men w ho stood at one side waiting lo be brought up. "What itLinunt is that ? ' i T u F.r.t M.nn'iota.'' J '"Charge those lines." I Tbry Oil not pause a second. They I chargi-d. They did not tire a gun. They I ran as bard as thev could straight for the I enemies' hues. To buuOrel and sixty. : two u.en ma le the run. At the eml of live minutes ail but f irry-seven of them lay i i!at on the gnrin.t. never lo rise from it j and the tvhif .rcemeuu hal come, and were 1 billing the Fuioa position. Tbat is victory, i And Genera! Hancock got the credit for it I as he deserved to do. j And now a monument is to st3n.I ou the . battletild of Gettysburg. And that is all. ! This is ooe ol war's epls ides it is said that i it ia the m eit brilliant bit that history furn- ' shes, f r at no other t m , iu no other pisce, di.J si mtny t-.i .'ii rush knowingly to deata ' to save a ii. -Id. Tins is wbat :i is to be a I . i.ero. Not Generally Understood. Tbe law pasted at the lest session of the legislature giving children of soldiers of the lute war the privilege of attending the pub lic schools in the districts outside of ttieir j owu titm is not neraily understood anj frequent inquiries are received at the de partment of public instruction for an inter pretation of '. Deputy Superintendent Stewart says the law does not give to tbe aiten.I sct.ool. Mr Mewartsays au arrau.e n.erot ma le by these children or thtir parents by which they temporary reside ia the dia triet to wiiicn th.y lelong would entitle tLem to'chool privileges therein, but with out su-jh an arracgeme .l ll;ey cannot claim aJtnissiou tinder the terra: of tiie act. Prujres Dam:racy Would UndTX Fti m ;6e N Y. P;et In 1 vt irujiite.1 wire nails cost tbe American lonsurner $lo krg Today he buys a tit er q'la'liy of wir naiie of domes tic o-aniifa. t i.e U.t !.:' a ki . In 1-5.; Aiuericar.s paid s (er ton for K le'is'i w.re rods. Today domestic wire j ro,is .,f a suprerior quality cist per ' T.. rr. . ... It.m t-n,r rm firmer tun. Ten years ago the A :ner can farmer paid I cents a pound for barb wire for fence No he g' ts his barb wire fr J; i-ents a pound. Vet 1'ie lo.-ru ocraTic party wants to de stroy the protective system, which baa cheapened these products t y budding up home industries in which American worit h.g'Utu get mire man twice as much wages as the same class of labor gets abroad. Oili -e I! oy 1' to editor .1 There's a man outside who says lie hasn't bad a mouth ful to tat in six data. Elitor Bring &i:n in ; if he can just tell us how be keeps up on it, we can rua the pap ' another week longer ! Hardhead I have a million insurance on my life now ! Friend llood gracious! Why do you carry such a load as that ? I want my family to have som-lhing left after they get through fighting the insurance companies for the tnony. Sue's only a fissy old m.ii-J after all. Mamma What's wrong now ? Johnnie Well, teacher told n e not tu speak cut loud, and then kept mi in for whispering. Collector (angrily ) -Do yoa intend to pay that bill next week or never, sir ? Trotter Well, siuce yoa offer me a chcice, I say never. Keally very kind of jou. Good day. i