I, Somerset Herald.
(I of Publication.
7 ' intJ ediiUj ssorniag at t M
1 1 tf ati tn advance : otherwise tl U
YacSV. .
5 ..;t b en-T-
will be diMuctlDaad until al
,-np-w
naid BP- rstsaeste Bea-leecag
sabsaibmdeB take ozi their
FH hie rSSpOaSlble ---- KtaOtlp-
Soaxacorr, Pa.
' ITT7 rrrritT
'" -azsasT. F.
,.,rj. K.ss.F-
V-j .
, trta Jf ----rbX
., Bones Row. ovpoatvs -"
J. i. Ot.I.B.
t-t ;LE,
sossjtsirr, Tl.
. - eooeriet. Fa.
i
LNiIralxEY-AT-i.AW.
somerset. Fa.
r.TEr.NJ- ,
Somerset. Fa.
IJ' 1 ' A rTikSET-AT-LAW.
sumCTrt, Fa.
x s,,mrrrt Comity B-"---
LBAlAfTuRNET-AT-LAW,
somerset, ra.,
1 in Siimwl and adjoining emin-
I A . h,; ruuww
I1W-""U-
-Tl -S W. H-RCTTSi.
iTKi..TH ARUPPEL.
ArrutNL"VS-AT-LAW.
sumrnrt. Ta.
mtT-i! to their rare will be
rv wa.'tur attended w (iftrt on
MS .-iTrel, .'I'POMl MaJ&Bloth BK'.
iUURtl-"."".
Bomertwt, Pa.,
rv prompt attention tobuinr- entrust
J x routing li'JU- opposite m
WIS MEYER-.
A fTi R EY-AT LAW.
w tlifr-v r -t,ut'--
entru1ed U) hi i-ar. will be
'..'......,., office
i
sr-s-L ona tbs n Houe.
0. KIMMEL.
ATTURM.V-AT-LAW.
e,nn-ret, Fv,
--4 u a" wurnein entrnwd v faw
oh ii1 Btiint TOur.lirs. wit a pmmf
!. . . . -v ". oo 1SA.U Crtjaf Suwt,
US? L. ri'GII.
attukney-at-law.
SmTw-t. P
vn;n!'th B'.ork, np ftAiiv EntTmnce
"(-im!nei nl ! I'lral buns ao
x :t: pruuii'lne- aad tiiieatj.
CaLi!. L. C. CoLaoaa.
LB" L" A CV'LBORN,
ATTOR-NEYS-AT-LAW,
Bomerart, Pa.
hn-n- rr.trvori to our car will ba
. T ffc:;nn;,.y attend-! Uv necuofia
0 ,iiivt. H-M'orn aon a-limnm-f wuii-irr-y
i ami eoueyanciDf dona oo re-
ILNEY. F. j-OHF.I.L,
I AlTL'liEY AT LAW,
Sonserart, Pa.
t 5-.y aui Peaiioa AenL Office in Mammoth
'vixyriNE HAY,
AlT'.Rty-AT-lA'.
-?.jmnnt. Pa.
. r-alw ia Ktl ItMU5. Will attend to aH
-nir-rtfil u hi care wiut prompui--
HX H. niL.
AnuRN'EY-AT-LAW.
Somerurt, Pa.
.- - ,a n wimiri(MI ntratt4-d
L k --'a.!va-d on eoUei-uona, c Of-
a VaaoKAn tiivf a.
ki J. E. EIFECKER,
PHYsiaAS AVD BCRGEOK,
Soheuct, Pa-,
I -n hit rrnf"-'.iJ.ai serrifea to the ciuieni at
I
.4
5. H. S. KIMMELL,
'! b DKifnefior.al -rri- to tt cltijena
Msrrwi auavii iuitT Um pmn-ionajij
.-"4 m rau b uund at sum oH.it on Mam m.
.ILEEU BAKER,
ien ti proftiaioiial ar-rrir-jM to th dtiaTOa
m-r-j-i auJ vi :mt. .Hsc ta reaidenoa on
t'-i-n it uf Ltamond.
A
?. J. M. LOUTIIER.
vori--( MoynSowa)
PHYS:.1A' AND Bl R'-EOS,
iwi'dd p-rmanently In Somerwt 6 tba
. !! i.n.u-uon. etc on Main au-eet.
AJ.S.MMILLEN".
-Kiaa-r m X'ntatCTr.)
t " r-w'; r.t:rB to tbe putiatloa of
4 .a;:-ai -ia. Arti'ai au m-ned. Ail
vtnf -r.aanii a'aj'tartorr. otLe IB tha
m !)( M.Trrtw..lt (." atore. corner
i -rt and Fatnui tftreet.
"SlJuHX BILLS.
-V 1-t.NTISI
f up-KaiTJ in Cook & Beerlts Biork.
'l WiL COLLIN?.
V I'ESTliT.
feIn-ptTt Blnrk nn-alr. whera ha
a w foub: at a.. i.mts -n-fiar- u do a.i l:niu
.t -si.-a ao c.af. --piiai'.::g. eitracunn,
Annual w.e m a.i a .nris aud of tna bol
ra m-ru-L Au wura ffuaimjite-sd.
K. MILLER
fnu--: .t iiiratM ia Berlin fnr toe prar-
r--af-r tiure.
IIl(-T,i--t Pnnntr I"l j ri Lr
EaKRISCN, M.J.PRITTS,
Pam,-urr. CaaaiiB.
-rsonj aiade In put of the United States.
CHARGES MODERATE.
.. trh.i-;i to muS moner W--t can be ao
'"'lu1' draft on Nw Vura tn au num.
itt, aiMil. h . . . ?- b...
-lanrt Hi.? auil Taiuatiea ae-inred
a lork.
f aU Uaai Holidavi Obaa-red.
J JaAELES U0FF1LAX,
J f lERCHANT TAILOR.
; I Uiw H-tSey'a Store,)
tet Sxrlrm, -and LowMt PriOM.
T!SFACT10N GUARANTEED.
Somerset. Pa.
fi.o. iiosTirriAKK
MERCHANT TAILOR.
2 M-Jtaom Block.)
SOMERSMT. rjL.
V I"t sT: ano Wi-rter fnM
eatmacuu-o (uartutaL
i ana
'.MTSATOl.-.-j NOTICE
t -"l late of Stade
- """t -mntr. ! .
) n"u"1' on u, arjmre enate
-r r''- 10 " bd.!-.!,., by the
f -w itwAli , ,'' " ? !
I -!., ,, j f ' -- to n.aiie tnuiM-dt-
1 .c, IJl " -"' riaitna tuatraK
4 -t: al'.prr"IU ""--a dii! aiitbtHi.a!l
t ' u f,ir ""-daT, the 2bth
? U aJT " - -
I ::i s- B- rRITiTRFIFLD.
t Adntiuiaumlur.
La-
VOL. XXXYin,
rlHE
FIRST NATIONAL BANK
OF-
Somerset, Penn'a.
DCPOSITS MCCCIVCOIN LAttCC ANOCMALL
AMOUNTS. PAYABLE ON DCMAKD.
ACCOUNTS or MERCHANTS, FAHMCKS.
STOCK OCALCNS, AND OTMCRS SOUClTCO.
-DISCOUNTS DAILY.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS:
I.aP.11 M. Hi, ti. f. H. Millie.
J abb- L. lm, Cux. H. Fh-hitb,
JOHB Ii S..TT, Ca-. flTLL,
JBB) E. l!:aE. alK.
Edwakd Svlc, :
Valestink Hay,
.i.VC.KCW PAtlKtli,
: : rcornENT
Y-e pRieIf)ENT
: : : Cami;em.
T1i-' fua'inan.l wmriti?s c f thir hunk
re Pwureiy prott-t-tr-ii ius-tlelntt?d I'or
li a Burjrlar-i rtx-f ifa.V. The only hsife
made L.lin-ly Buntlar-jircx.f.
National Bank Notice.
Tr'i!T P a wry e?t. )
OrnrE or r.iapraiii.1 itamr the i ! rrixct. -V
HiN..T.J. u. f Aug. -.X, 1-.)
' HERE AS. bain-Cu-tor t-videiK-e pre---i!i'-l
Uu!.- u-r.erii.-iisl, -.law t-r-imle
Uapr r ihat ", ho h im Nalmnai Kaiik of 'm---et,
' in ih Ifcrrotjffh tf mvcm-t. in ifae ( otuty
f imeri and ik nf tfiin-riiiiia. has im
with ,i tne nci).viD of Utr tntntea of the
ant Mirt, rvuired to be roiivi-d uh be
fimf an a-i-iiat.an nalt b aaihi-rxed to com-nie'i-
thtr Kti-:ih of Kankinf -
NOW THEREFORE. I. K.lwaM 4 Larr.
rooH'if He tht lurtent-T, do hr tir rer-niy
ttiat " Th Hrvt .Vaih.aal hn f lfcnWr-t," in
thtr fWwii-n-;, of -irfiiir--t, in trie t'otin'T of S,m-r-a
and e;ai of HenOfvlvama.-1 authoniir1 to
rimniietit-e the bo-.--a f liankinj a provided
in e-t-i-tioo Fifty-.ne hnniml and .ixty-nuje of
the JtTi-ia s-utiiini of tne I niu-i stale--.
In tttwini tiT,,f line, my hand
acaij and Mai of o-nca' tne tii day of
August.
r s. lay,
No. -tl). Cotrptn-ilrr wf the ("urrecry.
PILLSBURY'S BEST
! I FLOUR
tuir i ftHMj'1. ifs maiie fnmi ill? i hiiii M
hfNit in tl. fc-n-irti? pilb-ur Mil. at
is;iiutLjia, ilinu. ul brulti
riLLSBURY
BEST XXXX
T1a! miIUar thrc-e in numljer, with It y
of
10.500 BAHRET.? PER PT or
OV UC .A.hm)uO BAKkr LS PER YEAR.
To fneA thre miii rrtrire l.vnno.wxi tHbflu of
whfit an ml'.y. i)ir Fii.lbi itv A " Mill
uit ianr"T mpi tit of any mill in tli
world. crvnMiminf ever 3;.yot bahia
o whftt fxr iar. It i suj.phod
w.'.h the ce-it raai-binerr kuoa
to ttM!' mil-itigf trai ; do ex
penn hm hrn itj-aril to
icoTirf- pcrfWilon m ail
drta.i. a ad 11 i Ua
muat rrrf-'t aod
coKia.y Hull oa
the gktbe.
W ruuin w our PilMmrw' Bwiw tfi be th
I hnpwi KnKir ma-rie in the I nit! !tntii, talt
ine a; 't qia.ui int vtr-'mL It will YHid
Vt4n W) totiu poiuids mf tr-pail to the tr
r titan flu. mado fnm Winter W "ht, H
r--juin? snnr miirturr in imiinir. and
tne brraal w:ll keep mm nd mn-t
f if Bvtirai itsyi. It ip aiio th rokHt
numtiot and h-caiihr. as it i atv
Klntf!y p:rp. ivithinf but the
rtioK-eNt hard in) Wheat be
in? tt-ed m ite mauuLttt-ture,
Mtiiwwd and 1 mkoca
Wbrat has the bttveM-t
prntKirtii 4f irma
and pnoarihatf of
any fTuwa in
Th eonntry. and IS oor inartreed new RiIler
Prrewi w pvtraft Voni The h-at all it nuiri
tJ'Nj qnalitiet". instead of iMtjn thm eo into
the InT-rTKrt" eraii of T3"ir. ac n the a.e un
der u.e o.d i-enrexi of biiUkit At the
aame time tbw floor will niaktbc h:t
et. Itchieist luaf f bread ta th wriii.
he u; k at wfj-e the ttet. tieaith e
arvl cheap- f nur ?;.at caa be
u-avcL Suld only by
JOSIAH KELLER. Somerset
It is to Your Interest
TO BUT YOCR
Drugs and Medicines
OP
Biesegker & Snyder.
rCClKBOBS TO C X. BOYD.
Ifoce but th purest and best kept in stock,
and when Drur become inert by stand
ing, as certain of them do, we de
stroy them, rather thxn im
poee on our customers.
Toa can depend on Laving your
PRESCRIPTIONS k FAMILY RECEIPTS
filled with care. Our prices are ta low u
sry c-tlier first-class bou-e and on
many articles much lower.
T! r"ple of this county seem to know
tbia, and bave aiven us a large share of their
patronage, and we shall still continue tegire
them the ery best -roods lor their money.
Do not forget that we make a specialty of
FITTIXGr TRUSSES.
We guarantee satis&rtion, and, if yon bars
had trouble in this direction,
give as a ealL
SPECTACLES AND EYE-GLASSES
in great Tariety ; A full set of Test Lenses.
Come in and have your eyes examined. No
charge for examination, and we are confident
w ran suit yon. Come and see us.
Respectfully,
B1ESECKER Sl SNYDER.
CURTIS K. GROVE.
SCKERSET, PA
BTGOIES, SLEIGHS, CARRIAGES,
Sl'KIXG WAGONS, BCCK WAGONS.
AND EASTEEN AND WUTERN WORK
Furnlshad on Snort Notice.
Painting Done on Slort Tim.
Uj work is made ont of 7Vx--7i'jr Sntmet Wood,
aad 111. Bf tm ttmt -Suhntantiaiiy
CoBKtructed, N-at-y Mnlt-h!. and
H arrauted togiv. s-ufa-uua.
Enplrr Czly ItstCaa VcfcMa.
Ker-air'.ng of ATJ Htld !a Vr line Don OS
aWt Nouoe. Pnces R1amN ABLX, ao4
All Work Warranted.
Call and Eiamlct lay Btork. and Leara frVes
Ida Waot-work, aad ftirtiiah gerrea tor Wtad
KlUa. ILnaentier tba plana- aad caX! tn.
CTJBTIS K. GEOVE,
(Xaat af (Joaft boase!
So
e
NO. 14.
CARPETS!
THE FISESli ASD LAECEST
STOCK WEST CF HEW YOEI.
6
Large Floors Pecked
with Fall Goods.
6
ALL ENTIRELY NEW DESIGNS.
Aiminster, Wilton, Jloquette, Vel
vet and Body Brussels Carpets.
T-ipestnr Era.-:-fl3 Carpets from 50
tents per yard op.
Inerain Carpet, 25 cents a yard np.
Raj, Cottage and Hemp Carpets.
China Mattings from $4.03 per roll
cp 10 yards ia a roIL
Linoleums, Oil ClotL., Rujs and
Art Squares.
Lace Curtains, Chenille and Tur
coman Curtains for Portieres.
Cornice Poles from 25 cents op.
Window Shade mounted oa best
Spring Rollers, "at 50 cents cacti
anybody can han, them.
Country dealers supplied at the
same rates as in largest Eastern
houses, thus making qnitc an item
in saving of freight.
Edward Groeiziiipr,
627 and 629
PEXX AVENUE,
PITTSBURGH.
WE DONOT PLEDGE
Ourelves to keep abreast, hot to keep
the lead overall others in se!lin(t you
Psre, AWIntely Psre, and well Mjtur-
ed, Kipe Whiskies ami nines
At
prices that make si) other dealers
tie. Just think of it :
1 . . 1 a " - tr m r
hoa-
Orerkelt t f o' Psre Bye, five years old.
Kuil quarts 1, or 10 per dozen.
Still better:
Finch's GoliifB HeudlD, ten years old.
Full qtutrt-) $!,or f 12 per down.
Better still:
Kentucky rioorbon, ten years old. Fall
quarts 1 1 ", r il2 per dozen.
And one of the tuost saleable Whiskeys
on our list is
Tiis Pike F.i.nT-YAB-OLn Export
Gi ckenheimer. Full qt. $1. $10 s dot.
There is no Whinkey that has ever been
sold that has frown in favor with the
public so rapidly as our old Export,
and the simple reason is that it is
utterly impuetsiblelto duplicate it.
There will never be sny let np in the
purity and fine flavor in any particular
of the Pure California Wines we ar
now selling at 50 cents per bottle,
Full quarts, or $. per dosen.
In making up your orders please enclose
Fostotiire Money Order or Draft, or
Register your order.
JOS. FLEMING & SON,
WBOLISAIS ASD EST AIL
DUCGGIST8,
PITTSBURGH, PA.
412 Market St.. Cor. of Diamond.
STATIONERY,
ARTIST'S MATERIALS,
Fancy Goods.
tms LAaecsT ao scar aaeetmB areca its
thc errr.
PKIXT1XG OF AIX KIJfDS.
Especial AtUattea firea t
Engraved Wedding Invitations
and Cards.
l- Rail Ortiert Rwrlvs Prws(r) Attenrtlea.
JOS. EICHDAUM & CO,
rilTU ATEm PnTSBCKGH.
REAL ESTATE
AT-
PRIVATE SALE.
INTENDING TO OO WEST, I or
SALE MUST. MT.
PWEUJSG IIorSE ASD LOT,
On'Maln f-treet. Smierwt. Pa., the bonse beini a
Tuswt Bri-k li'nse of eleven rooms, well
bu'lt. anii Siiisdied in sonrt, tyle. Ooul water,
rvhar. ev-tema and ouitw:ldttff
SKitiNU. A Brwk M-.ntnue on Mala Ones
Sirvet, the flrt Coor being naed for a .rowry.
the aerond .lory ha tiire. moow, and the thinl
t. used .t W. H. ria-y aa a i'bHoirraph Gal
lery. Tbare walniin Uie premiaai a fuud Brick
atvhoo-e.
TH1 Kl. A dvl-al.le Bnlldlng Let on Vain Crw
w-rt-i-t and atharine stn-t-i. This kit has on it
ahnm -HitT ink .!-. ta beann-f.
Fol KTH. Twelve Bmldinx Ijhs lnal-d in said
Bunainh. oo Hmtx. tjtm. aod Tanner Strveta.
riPTH. A to-i.u-y frame Hotue, aad 14, ta
I run B"rooh. rontainin-r seven nmtna.
Hiioiw on a o.rQerlot, t-rmerly occupied by Lit.
H" s. kah ltnan.
SIXTH. A tract of liad tn Took Township, Wert-
Hxireiaiid Coimiy oniaining '."Jfi arrr, moee
or Wtm : m acres a elemxed. Uiuute near
ver's M;ik
F. V Ejn H, I ofTer oe J-nny, bnyry and haraei-s
The p-n is kind aad senile. Tu-aie properues
br'id fcjr part cm-vh, and on paynteaa to
auit i-UT- bai-era.
HENRY F. SCHELL,
sr-4-Sza.
BoMxasirr, Pa.
A DMISI.STJ'vATOR'S X0TICE.
-aA.
bstatr of rharabem Hi won. dee'd. late of Soner
twl Homu.-h. t-iii-"ret t'ounty. Pa.
Letter of adimanrj-atioo on the above eite
kavuis been rante1 to tb. nn.terw-raed by the
prt-per autboniy. al, penous in-WHed losaid es
tAic ftr. ivv-uestwt to leak payment, snd tnua.
kartng eiaim. to preatat tnem duiy anthenura.
ted for wttleai. m Saturday, the Ifthdayof
Octotiar. 19, a late re-odeo. of d-eaed.
JOH.N H. Hl'sTON.
aeptll. AdnuniMrator.
PENSION AGENCY.
SOL. UHL,
Toly sat!9rtvd by tbe OoTenuaawt. (Kee ta
SMtimaa, laiwirasi, ra.
cnei
SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY,
AlX
LlXHUtt. la
cat cssrj
1231 a.
Spraias. Stralss,
Eralsea, Wauad.
Vca-erCa..Bjlla..w.
par -Jure op
.rrKcCTKETliKit CFEriJ.
fT2a,ikuiSTS akcJealei5 rrwHc
Tee Ckas AVcseur Ga-3Ana-Ma-
'Try Ayer's Pills'
For Rl.enmatism, Isenralgia. and Gout.
Stephen Lansing, of Yorkers, N. T..
says : " Reoommeniled as a cure for
chronic Coativeneas, Ayer's Pills have
ri-Uevt-il dm trom that trouble and aLo
from Goat. II every victim of this dis
ease would heed only three words of
mine, I could banish Goat from the land.
These words would be 'Try Ayer's
Pills." "
"By the se of Ayer's Pills alone, I
cured myself permanently of rbe-Jiua-tism
whi-h had troubled nie sevrral
months. Thewe. Fills are at once harmie-o
and eflertuai. and, I b-li?ve, would
prove specific in ail casea of incipient
Rheumatism.
Xo aiedicin could have served me in
bftter stend. -C. C Ruck, Corner,
Avoyelles Farish, La.
C. F. Hopkins. Kevada City, writes :
"I have tuwd Ayer's Pills for sixteen
rears, ami I tliink"they are the best Pills
in the world. We keep box of them
in the house al! the time. They have
cured meof sivk headache and neuralgia.
Since taking Ayer's Pills, I have been
tree trout thse com plaints.
" I have derived great benefit from
Ayer's Pills. Five years a'o I was
taken so ill with rhenuiatUm that I was
o uable to do an v work. I took three
boxes of Ayer's Pills and entirely
cured. Since that time I am never
withont a bo-t of these pills." Pet.;r
Christensea, bherwood, W is.
Ayer's Cathartic Pills,
raxrASHj st
Dr. J. C. Aysr it Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Dnlm la II edict bo.
W.I. HASLAGE & SON,
SELECT
FAMILY GROCERS.
E2USZZ2?22S'
j A monthly publication of interest
ft every housekeeper, mailed on
application,
When Visiting our Exposition,
pleace drop b to see us ; will try
to make you feel at home.
WiM. Haslage & Son.
US DIAMOMU (Market Square,)
PITTSBURCH, PA.
MCffTtoif This eseca wwta unim roe
Mowscatipcsa eitiet.
STOP! " LOOK! LISTEN
EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW
WHERE TO GET THE HOST OF
OF THIS WORLD'S GOODS FOR
THE least;honey ?
WE HAVE THEM
:Dishes.j:::
WHITE, YELLOW, GLASS,
AND ROCKINGHAM WARE,
IN GBCAT VARIETY.
BASKETS, LOOKINCr-GLASSES,
HANGING LAMPS, STAND LAMPS
Larrpsofall Descriptions.
Novelties and Oddities in China
THE -PLACE FOR
FANCY 4 STAPLE GROCERIES
H AT THE ST0HE OF
ED. B. COFFROTH,
SOMERSET,, PA.
A New Hotel at Cumberland.
r-a m V 9 Jt JTV
f5 Ai rVd m
jr TkCaaa.A.
Th. UBderiisned, and Jewe Banghman havs pur
chased the
AMERICAN HOUSE.
At Cumberland. Vd and have refitted and refiir
crbed the .aid Uw, and made It a tina-riais
Hotel, to areorainodat. th. travel i nar pu'dic
w ilk gmoi labia, and e ho ice liquors at the bat.
Re also bar tn eoBr.-jctien with the Hotel a lanre
uantitv -f riaTtt?hmo snd ffweitaer Pnre tid
hy. Whkikey fie- . by tba barrel or gailoa,
al til. i'i.oauij pmea :
Two Year old at P.' 00 per gallon.
Three - - K' .V) -
Foer - - H00
The prtee ofthe Jug kt 10 eente fnr each tfsUon.
Tb prvreof the oi.ey aod Jnr bhmi always
areoeipany the ordeT. whifh wUlinaur. prompt
atteiuioa and nbi pment. Add rew all order to
Jo-3-Sia. 8. P. 8wertzer,CfcB.berlaod KJ.
ESTABLISHED 1827.
IT CANNOT LAST FOREVER.
I've a word of eoaiftrt Sir yoa
Who oa life's rag?! nm4
Are toiling 'neath the bardaa
Of a heavy, hopeless load.
It rtU make yoor heart grow ligitw.
Whatever be youc wrong.
And give yoa stn-agth to bear it.
If yoa uke thee words along.
And say when rlootai of darkaeia
Arootui yoor pathway hover,
"Thcauj U EhuUng itut beyond.
It cannot last fejfever."
Just try them when ytw'r. wearU-tl
By each petty ears aad atrifit.
By each Utile agvpanuiaa
Uf roar eoianiua daily life.
When angry words are rialiig
That yoa can scarcely smother.
And everything seem "twisted, op,"
Aad tied ia knots to bather.
Tou'U find time wors are like a knife.
Each ta toed knot ta asver ;
Then tirahbrn it each tangle with,
" It cannot last fcirever."
Or if tome great diaaster
Lite a cyclone sweep your sky.
And taunned and helpka wUhithe shock -
P-enratli tlu wreck yoa lie.
Rctaeni ber that ao HAirn cotnes
Bui has a -Hearing tlatf ;
The darkM night a aiorning.
An end the kxigeaA way.
Then take thoae words to ebear yoa.
You U find the ia like a Irver.
To rai- yuur sikiug spiriu np,
" It cannot last fceever."
LiO Jf. Jlumvitr.
THE STEAMBOAT MYSTERY.
Some months sgo, after a business trip
to New Orleans, I concloiied to run np to
Yicksbory before atartinj hotue. As sll
my business tranaadmns were completed
I walked down to the levee, there to
await the departure of the boat
The river was lined with steamers,
large and smalt, all freighting preparato
ry for leaving that afternoon. Just as I
was being most highly entertained by
watching a bale of cotton with a negro
astride, clutching for life, fall into the
river, I was startled by the rough voice
of Captain F , shooting :
"No, not 111 be hsnged if I takes
dead man aboard !"
Looking towards the boat on which I
was to take passage, I noticed the Cap
tain standing on the' gangway, striking
the plank forcibly with his stick. Near
hi in stood an old, ragged Italian, whose
upraised hand seemed pleading for some
thing which the Captain denied him.
The Cuptain made a motion for the man
to leave, but he hesitated, whereupon the
Captain attack the old fellow rudely
across the back.
This so enraged the little monkey
perched upon the old man's shoulder
that he darted at the Captain and gave
him as smart a kick as his little legs per
mitted, and then, like a feather, was in
his place again. The Italian came ashore
and, upon being questioned, said that he
wished to go to Port HLkcy but being ill,
the Captain seemed to think he'd die on
the boat.
I pitied the man, but knew that noth
ing! could say would Tn 3 uenoe the Cap
tain sufficiently to allow him aboard.
Besides, be looked thin and weak, really
nfit for any voyage, no matter how short
the distance. He had no friends, no
money, and nowhere to stay at least
this was his story to me. I offered to
buy his monkey for my own pleasure,
and send him to a place where he would
be well treated. He appeared nnwiiling
to part with Yep " at first, but finally
consented. I handed him a bill, which
he eagerly received, then gave him a
note to a man living near Keller's Mar
ket, requesting him to be kind to the old
fellow until he died, and I would re
pay him. It then became a puizling
question as to how I would separate
" Yep from his master, and worse still,
how to get him aboird unseen by the
Captain.
After a little thought I opened the lar
gest inside pocket 01 my duster, dropped
into it a half dozen nickels, and drew
the monkey's attention to their rattling.
The sound he knew well, and without
any trouble he jumped into my pocket
and began immediately to place the mon
ey ia the pockets of bis own little
jacket.
The Italian, after asking where I lived
and a few more questions about my home
tbankM me profusely, and started to
ward Keller's market
Seeing my way clear, I hurried up to
my room, without the Captain knowing
anything of tbe transaction. After look
ing around a box was found, which I
quickly made into a bouse for " Yep."
Here he was put, together with bis
nickels.
I glanced out of my door just in time
to see the bent form of the old Italian
turn the corner and disappear. Knowing
he would spend one night in peace ere be
died, I felt glad it bad fallen to my lot to
render the kindness.
Yep " toyed with his nictles almost
continually, on!v stopping now and
then, when the Captain's voice was
heard.
A sound of whistles and bells, and the
putfiing of steamers, plainly saiJ.-Fjve
o'clock ! all aboard 1"
It was a lovely evening and all would
have been delightful bad not the ill-humored
Captain continually referred in
any but endearing terms to the old Ital
ian and bis "spiteful ape." " Y'ep "
evinced bis dislike for the Captain by
assuming a pouty expression whenever
his gruff voice reached his ears. It was
plain to me that they were enemies, and
must, if possible, be kept apart. The
Captain remembered " Yep's kick, and
he remembered tbe lick given bis mas
ter, and this was an amply soSiclent
cause for a duel between the two oq
sight.
At I went np to my room, closed
the door, and let Yep " out of his box,
immediately after which be began walk
ing up and down the room, looking for
bis master. Not seeing him anywhere,
he crouched in a corner and began mum
bling in his own language his displeasure
at the situation in which he found him
self. I gave him caresses and everything
calculated to please, but nothing altered
bis surly countenance.
A little later I retired and left bim,
free to pout undisturbed as long as be
wished.
About ten o'clock I was awakened by
two sounds. Tbe first was " Yep" trying
to get out of my room and the other I
made out to be the snoring of tbe Cap
tain. Knowing be needed some fresh air,
I opened the door and let him out. He
walked slowly towards the bow nntil be
drew near the Captain's door ; then he
paused as if to listen, and then tried to
open the door ; failing, be climbed op
A.
OCTOBER 2. 1889
on the window sill and began quarrel
ing at the Bleeping. Captain, who anored
on, quite onmindful of the grimace at the
window. " Yep" began shakfrg his fists
and finally struck tbe pane of glass so
forcibly that it made a loud, crashing
noise, which I knsw would undoubtedly
aroue the Captain. In a moment I dart
ed for " Y'ep," caught him, and returned
to my room, but before I reached my
door he nttered a queer, shrill scream,
unlike anything I bad ever heard. He
was not hurt, but he was angry at me
for interfering and putting an end to his
quarrel at tbe Captain.
Barely was my door closed, when the
Captain rushed out, shrieking :
" Tom ! Tom ! What's the matter down
there ? I beard a crash the boat is sink
ing! Ruu to the wheel, quick, and see
what's the trouble. Don't yoa bear T Is
she goin gT
Goin' whar, sar T" innocently asked
Tom.
" Yoa black rascal, I'll" And the
Captain went for Tom.
Then followed a splash of water, and
the cry of :
" Man overboard V
I hurried out, and peeping ever the
railing, J saw two dreuched men be
ing pulled aboard the Captain and
Tom.
Tom stood chattering at the furnace,
his eyes, an unusual size, riveted on the
Captain's vanishing figure. As tbe Cap
tain's step died away, and all knew he
had reached his room, the fireman came
forward and asked :
" Say, Tom, what did yoa jump in the
river for?"
" Jampt in de riber? Guess ef dat Cap
tin was ter lie on yerback, yer'd jump in,
too. Jes' es well to be drownded es
murdered."
Tbe next day the Captain spent pretty
much in sneezing. And that night he
retired earlier than usual; on account of
his river bath not agreeing with him.
As soon as his snoring became audible
I unlatched my door, and, for the sake of
a little more sport, let Yep " out He
went immediately in search of the gnor
er. The door was tried, as it was on the
preceding night, and then he perched
himself on the window sill, snd began,
as usual, grumbling in a lo w tone at the
Captain. He seemed wild to get in the
room.
The window was slightly raised, so
"Yep" reached in snd drew out the Cap
tain's coat, vest, and trousers, throwing
each in turn on tbe floor ; then he got
down a?d searched all the pockets, asif
be was an old hand at that sort of busi
ness. He found but a quarter, which he
put in his own pocket, ana then in the
space of a moment, he doubled all the
clothes together and threw them in the
river, In a second, Tom, who was about,
shouted :
Lord hah mussy I de Cspt'in dun
gon' crazy an' tlunu hisclose iit de riber.
tksthermity. Saw, he'p me catch him
when be cum, fer he be nexV
"Yep" turned and walked straight
into uiv room without a word from me,
seemlrfg perfectly satisfied with his ven
geance and his find,
I listened to the lively discussion go
ing on between Tom and Soto, about the
Captain.
Sain advised Tom to go up and see
what was the matter, but Tom stuttered
out :
" Neber in dis worl ; not by myself ;
no sir-e-e. He lit on me once."
Both seemed to believe the Captain
was crazy, sure enough : both were
frightened, and neither went near his
room.
Tbe next morning the Captain yelled
for Tom and inquired in a thundering
voice for his clothes. Sam and Tom an
swered the summons together, and car
rying between them his clothes, which
bad canght on the side of the boat and
only fallen partly into tbe river.
A short discussion followed, and both
men returned below.
Tbe Captain looked puzzled and some
what worried most of the day. By noon
he had decided that Tom should arm
himself and keep watch in bis room
that night.
All on board were becoming interested
in the matter, and the most amusing
part was that tbey all seemed to attrib
ute it to the Captain's mind, though il
was perfectly bound.
At 9 o'clock p. ra. we reached Vicks
burg. I threw my duster carelessly over
Yep's " box, picked it op and went
ashore, leaving Tom looking more white
eyed than ever, at ihe thought of the ex
pected dangerous encounter with the
mystery, little dreaming that with me
went the uiystery also.
After a week's stiy in Yicksburg, I
took tbe train for home. A few days la
ter a letter came from the man with
whom the old Italian bad been staying,
saying that the Italian had disappeared
with a ten-dollar bill of his, and, count
ing that in, my bill to bim was fifteen
dollars. This was a bit more thtn I had
bargained for, but I paid it, though not
too willingly.
" Yep " and I were getting along nice
ly, the only trouble being his fondness
for stealing, and with all my trying I fail
ed to cure him of the habit so I felt pret
ty certain his master aad taught him his
trade years before. Oa returning from
town one evening, " Yep" was missing.
Later I beard that an Italian and a mon
key bad been seen in the neighborhood.
I knew then "Yep" was with his old
rascally master, and was not very sorry.
The transaction cost me just twenty dol
lars, bet it has taught me to be less ready
to sympathize with and aid the un
deserving. When the Captain reads this, the mys
teiy will be cleared up for him. I hope
he will agree that we are even.
Ringing Noises
In the ears, sometimes a roaring, bux
ziag sound, are cause-1 by catarrh, thtt
exceedingly disagreeable and very com
mon disease. Loss of smell or bearing
also result from catarrh. Hood's Sarsa
parilla, the great blood purifier, is a pe
culiarly successful remedy for this disease
which it cures by purifying the blood.
If yoa sailer from catarrh, try Hood's
barsaparilla, the peculiar medicine.
Pa ain't turning-out the sort of man I
expected," said a little 8 year-old West
Enderas he returned, rubbing his legs
from a woodshed seance with his father,
"and, ma, the next time he whips us let's
get a divorce," H'fAinon Pott
h-f Q ip.-O Pi
XL, .XL. A-Vi; V
Jerry Rusk In Battle.
C( mal Wllabir. ButterfieU IB Mil tracks Sea
tiscL :
Uncle Jerry Eusk, now Secretary of
Agriculture, bad his share of experience
during the war. At the battle of the
Twenty-second of July, when tbe heroic
McPherson fell, Rusk was in command
at tbe front and I wt onc-tlurd of his
men. During tbe battle he was once
fairly cut off from his corn man i and sur
rounded by Confederate KIdiers armed
with saber bayonets. His sword ssei
ed.and he was ordered to surrender; but
drawing his pistol, he ased it with such
deadly etfoct that he broke through his
assailants and escaped with a slight
wound in bis leg and with the lot of his
sword an 1 horse the animal being lit
erally riddled with bullets.
At the battle of Jonesboro, Colonel
Rusk followed Hood back into Alabama,
then returned to Atlanta; and in Sher
man's "march to the sea" be had com
of the advance of the Seventeenth corps,
having the skirmishers, Dioneers, engin
eers and the pontoon train under his
charge. In the Carolina Campaign, from
Beaufort Island north, be was brevetted
colonel, to date from March 13, snd
on the same day was brevetted brigadier-general
for gallantry at the battle of
Salkahatchie in February previous. A
very exciting occureuce attended th-
crossing of that river. General Mower
was in command of the division in which
was the regiment commanded by Colonel
Rusk.
The division was moving north frotn
Beaufort directly toward the;river, while
the remainder of the array, of Sherman
was converging toward the starce point.
Where the crossing bad to be made the
enemy was in strong force on the other
side, and defending the crossing with a
heavy infantry column and batteries of
artillery. The only approach to the fori
was along a narrow road through a
swamp which was then covered wit't
water too deep to permit tbe movement
of cavalry or heavy guns. It sal a posi
tion almost as strongly protected and as
d.i!kult to capture as the celebrated
bridge of Lodi.
BACINO TO THE FS. 1ST.
There was a race among ail the divis
ions to first reach the crossing, and on
the morning just before the point was
within attacking distance Mower's di
vision was in the lead, and the brittle
in advance of the division was that to
which Rusk's command was attached.
Mower rode up with the staJ and could
not find the commander or the brig-ad;.
He inquired of Rutk where the otficer
was, to which the latter replied that he
did not know, bnt that he was ready to
move at once. Mower replied that he
could not w ait for the return of the
officer, but would move another brigade
Rusk was indignant that be should be
ignored.
"He did not wish," as be said, "to Us
cheated out of the lead." Going up to
Mower, be said : "Genersl Mower, I pro
test against being left behind, because it
is not my fault that the officer is absent.
I want the advance." Mower, however
would not listen. He went away, order
ed the divL-ion forward and put the other
brigade in the advance.
Later Mower seems to have recalled
the protest He found the route to the
crossing an embarrassing one, whereupon
he said to one of his staff officers, Cap
tain de Grasse : "Bring np that colonel
who objected to remaining behind and
we'll give him a taste of what he's yearn
ing for." Rusk received the order from
the aid, and rode up to Mower and asked
him if he had any orders.
"None," he said. "Drop right down
there," pointing to tbe crossing ; "throw
your men in and clear that road. I wish
to get to the river. If you don't do it
right I'll know it That's all ; now go."
Rusk got bis command in position and
charged down tbe narrow cauneway that
led to the fori, and which was swept by
the shell and musketry of the enemy.
TSCLX JEltltr A BF.SIX
His men were cut down in dozens, but
he perseveied and gained tbe position
after a desperate contest In the charge
a shell cu-the brevr-band ofths; bridie
of the colonel's horse ; the animal foil to
the ground and threw ths rider over his
bead.
The colonet scrambled to his feet, and
although considerably bruised, headed
the column on foot The same shell
took off the bead of his bugler and killed
two other men who were immediately
behind him. The tretnend.ui-) cannon
ade demoralized tbe staff of Mower, who
were following in the rear of Rusk's
column, and they took cover by leaving
the causeway and taking refuge in the
swamp, but found that route impassible,
and were obliged to dismount and make
their w ly on foot.
Colonel P.;iak carried the croe.-sing. "I
made the crossing," he says, "and was
successful- I reported back to Mower,
who ordered another brigade In to re
lieve us, and then we went kick into
ramp." He had scarcely reached camp
when a messenger frotn Slower ordered
bim to report to headquarters. Rusk
was nonplussed at the reception of this
order, as he was cot certain as to whether
he was to be commended or com.'exr.td
for what be had doce.
xowgns AECSTT.OX.
"I wai in doubt," afterward said I'ocle
Jerry. "Mower used to get a little full
at times, and I did not know what to ex
pect" He "fixed up" and rode over to
Mover's quarters. Colonel Christiannon
was standing in front of Mower's t-.-nt
as Ruvk rode up, and offered to carry in
any message which he might wish to
send. Rusk replied that he had been or
dered to report to Mower, and must see
him in person. Just then Mower from
within the tent called, "Come in! Come
La!"
Colonel Rusk pulled aside the flap of
his tent, entered and su luted the general.
The batter glanced at him for an in
stant and then said ; Y'es, sir, I sent for
yoa. "Yoa are the only man in this
army that I ever saw who could ride
further into hell than Mower, and I want
you to take a drink with me."
"I thank you, but I can't do that, as I
never drink," was the reply.
"You don't Well, I should like to
know how a man can ride so far into
hell without a drink. Do yoa eat T
"Certainly I do, and would be glad to
do so now, as I have net Lad a bite since
morning.
Mower ordered supper, and "always
from that on," bays Cncle Jerry, "he
WHOLE NO. 1993.
treated me with tbe greatest kindness
and consideration tip to the day of bis
death. I never asae-i anything from
him during the remainder of the service
that I failed to get The Uxt time I met
him was at the reunion at Louisville,
shortly before his death."
Points Aoout Your Peepers.
Sit erect in your chair when roading,
aod as erect as ptjasible when a ritin.
If yoa bena downward you nor only
gore the eyes w ith Hood but thc brain
as well, and both srHlWr. The satre rule
should apply to tbe use of the micro
scope. Get cne that will enable yoa to
look at things horizontally, not always
vertically.
Have a reading lamp for night u--e. N.
B. In reading the light should be on
the book or paper and the eyes in the
shade. If. 'you have no reading lamp
turn vour back to your light, aid you
mty read without dan?r to the eyes.
Hold the book at your foras ; if that
begins to get far away, get specta rles.
Avoid reading by the flickering light
of the fire.
Avoid straining the eyes by reading in
the gloaming.
Reading in bed is injurious, as a m'-.
It must be admitted, however, that ia
cases of sleeplessness, when the mind is
inclined to ramble over a thousand
thoughts a minute, reading steadies the
thoughts aod conduces to i-leep.
Do not read much iu a railwiy car
riage. I myself always do, h )ever,
only in a good light, and I invariably
carry a good reading lamp to hook on
behind me. Thousands of peoplo would
travel by night rather than by day if the
companies could only see their way to
the exclusive use of the electric light
-Vuthors should have black ruled pa
per instead of blue, and should never
6train the eyes by reading too tine types.
The bedroom blinds should b red or
gray, and the head of the bed sh.juld be
toward the window.
Those ladies who not only wiite, but
sew, fhould not attempt the black seam
by night
When you c-tue to anaj-ethat -nje-.ts
the wearing of spectacles, I--t no false
modesty prevent you fnui g-;:tin; a pair.
If you have cc!y one eye. an eye-glass
will do ; other ise it is folly.
k to the w:.--st and best cpti ian yoa
know r.f and state your wants and your
caoe plainly and be assured you will be
properly fitted.
Remember that bad spectacles are most
injurious to the eyes, and that gtod and
well chosen ones area deci il luxury.
Get a pair fur reading with and .f neces
sary a longdistance pair for ae out of
doors. OtxMt't Jfaifidns.
Simon Cameron's Tree.
Not many of even his most intimate
friends knew that Simon Came -on had
even ao much as an atom cf the poetic in
his character, but Mr. Edward Clark,
architect of the Capitol, gives an incident
of bis career which proves that lie some
times had thoughts for other matters
than political niaaasemci.t. When Mr.
Clark, several years ago, had completed
his drawings and plans for the now near
ly completed marble terraces on the
north, south and west fronts of the Cap
itol grounds, it could be easily een that
an even then old elm tree wou d block
ade the entrance to the soot lern ap
proach, and most therefore be cit down.
Mr. Cameron, then a Senator fir m Penn
sylvania, was among the first to make
this discovery, and going at on -e to Mr.
Clark, a.sked as a personal favor that the
tree should be spared during his lifetime,
Mr. Clark finally promised that it should
not be removed.
There the old tree, the aire of which
Mr. Clark believes is about a century, has
remained ever since, and there il yet
stands, its upper branches now aad for
so roe years past dead, which fait has in
creased the wonder of thoe not aware of
the facts why it has been left undisturb
ed so long. Mr. Clark says he has not
made any new order concerning the tree
nor has he come to any determination in
regard to it
Pain and dread attend the ust of truss
catarrh remedies. Liquids and snuffs are
unpleasant, as well a dangerous. Ely's
Cream Ei!m is safe, pleasant, easily ap
plied into the nostrils, and a sure cure.
It cleanses the nasa! pas-ags nnd heals
the ihflamed membrane, giving relief at
once. Price 53 cents.
The most obstinate cases of catarrh are
cured by tbe ae of Ely's Cream Bairn,
the only agreeable remedy. It is not a
liquid or snuff, is easily applied into the
nostrils. For cold in the head it is mag
ical. It gives relief at onca. Price 50c
Miss Lh; Pink (trying to get the con
versation into a pleasant groove was
so shocked while reading Max O'Reli's
book, to-day. He sad in Au erica the
girls do the proposing. Ii-n't it contempt
ible in him to print such a slander ?
Mercy! Wny. any elt"-re-peclirg Ameri
can girl would die before she'd let a man
know she loved him. The id.-a of oar
girls proposing!"
Mr. Co.- hiul " Don't they ?"
" Of course not."
"I I'm very sorry, because I never,
never, could pluck up courage t propose
to a girL I feel very blue to think a girl
would rather die than than iet me
know she wanted to marry rue. I I
guess I'll go bom Good-bye."
" Oh ! ua ! Oh ! Don't go! I I love
yoa ! Mercy ! I nearly lost yoa ! Sit down
on the sofa, my darling." .V. '. .Sun.
Fact3 Worth Knowing.
In ail diseases of the nasa'. mucous
membrane the remedy used must be non
irritating. The medical profession has
been slow to learn this. Nothing satis
factory can be accomplished with douch
es, snn Js, powder.', or syringes, because
they are all irritttin, do not thoroughly
reach the affected surface and should be
abandoned as worse than fa lures. A
multitude of persons who bad for years
borne all the worry and pain that catarrh
can inllict testify to radical cures wrought
by Ely's Cream Balm.
Many young children becomn pc-sitive-ly
repulsive with sore eyes, sore ears,
and scald head. Such a:Uictioas may be
speedily removed by the use of Avers
Sar-taporilla. Young and old alike ex
perience the wonderful benefits cf this
medicine.
A Jersey City tobacco factory rasa a
night school for its 3,000 hands.
A Long. Cold Winter.
"We are going to Lav, an early fall
and a ton, cold, hard winter," re uarke-l
Samuel Lovelace, an old Jer-y farcer,
to several friends at the Nw Wa.hip.g
ton Market yesterday.
How do yon firure tkat outT asked
one of the market. nen.
"In the first place," the Jersey man re
plied, "just try the skirt of any of your
trait Yoa will find your apples and
peaches and grapes, and ail your fruit
for that matter which is horae-growa,
with a thicker and tongaer skin than
yoa have aeea for several years. This is
one of the indications. That is the way
Nature takes car of her products. Last
winter apples and other fruits were so
thin-skinned and tender that it was bard
6 gather thetn without braising them,
I 'j on will remember, and we had an ex
traordinari.'y mild winter.
"Cora is another of nature's sea
board. The ears this year am protected
by thicker and stronger husks thaa I
have seen before for years, and laiam
with farmers np in Pennsylvania. I find
it i the same way. Wheat and rye straw
are tougher, hay, is wirier and seed-p xls
are better protected than usuaL These
are old farmers' sign, and they are g-iod
ones, because they don't come from any
moon-planting superstition, but fnm
actual observation year alter year by a
class of men whoa interests lie in keep
ing ele watch of all of nature's moods."
The Perils of Cunning.;
A well-known sportsmao, sneaking of
the many accidents that occur to gunners
at this season, says: "Now tnat it is :te
game season for a great many birds, cer
tain points that have recently been rail
ed by a well-informed English sportsman
are deserving of attention, lie says that
since the introduction of breech-ltd.rg
fow ling piece-), cases of accidental shf ot
ir.g have become painfully numerous,
and the relati.'e number seems to 1 in
creasing in jr portion as the generation
which began its experience with mait-
' loading guns disappears front the seen--.
! The reason he gives is that the ue of a
muzzle-loading gun involved so much
delay in recharging that the spoilsman
was unconsciously more careful than he
is at the present day, when cartridges
can be slipj-ed in the barrel with hard y
any delay. The old gunner would re
serve his fire through fear that by shoot
ing too soon he might loose an opportu
nity to take adyanUge of chances that
would occur a moment or two later. But
under existing conditions there is no
need of taking such considerations into
account, and this has begotten a careless
ness which with young sportsmen, par
ticularly w hen several men are shooting
together, verve upon the dangerous. Wild
game shooting is an amusement which is
incidentally so health-giving that it de-
i serves to receive encouragement! but,
like many other out-of-door sports it is
attended with certt.n risks, though the
one which we have pointed out might,
it Km9 to ns, be materially lessened if
the fact that they are handling damcerous
weapons rested at all times prominently
in the minds of the sportsmen."
Why the Leaves Turn.
"Probably not one person in a thou
sand knows why leaves change their color
in the fall," remarked an eminent bota
nist the other day. "The common and
old-fashioned idea is that ail the red and
golden glory we see now is caused by
frosts. A true and scientific explanation
of .the causes of the coloring of leaves
would necessitate a long and intricate
discussion. Stated briefly and in proper
language, those causes are these : The
green matter in the tissde of a leaf is
composed of two colors, red and blue.
When the sup ceases to flow in the fall,
and tbe natural growth of the tree ceases,
oxidation of the tissue takes places. I'n
der certain conditions, the green of the
leaf changes to red ; under different con
ditions it takes on a yellow or brown
tint The difference in color is due to
the difference in combination of the
original constituents of the green tissue
and to the varying conditions of climate
exposure and soil. A dry, cold climate
produces more brilliant foliage that one
that is damp and warm. This is the
reason that our American autumns are so
much more gorgeous than those of Eng
land. There are several things about
-leaves that even science cannot explain.
For instance, why one of two trees grow
ing side by side, of the same aire an I
having the sameeiposnre, should take on
a brilliant red in ta fall arid the others
should turn yellow ; or why one brai. :h
of a tree should be highly colored and
the rest of the tree have only ay-l!o
tint, are questions that are as iuip-ibi
to answer as why one member of a fami
ly should be perfectly healthy and anoth
er sickly. Maples and oak hate tiit?
brightest colors."
Cox and the Turkeys,
There was something of the wag as
well as of the wit about Mr. Cox. He
lived at the Ri-rgn Il-xase when in Wash
ington. Mrs. Cox bad learned of aome
New York families in Washington who
were cot in highly prosperous circum
stances, and bail suggested U Mr. Cox
that he send a turkey on Thanksgiving
day to each family, and do it in such
manner that the donor could not U;
known. The reason for this wastht
Mr. Cox sm-pecled some of the familie-s
she wished to aid might return the gift if
the source was known. Mr. Cix was
deputed to carry out this worthy inten
tion and he consulted the late Congress
man S'ahlne. ker, of Yonkens.
"Oh, that will be easy enough," said
Mr. S'ablnecker. "Order enough dress
ed turkeys to go around, send the ad
dresses to the dealer, and let him deliver
them."
"But dressed turkeys wo't do," said
Mr. Cox. "The thing miu-t Ie a secret."
"What is the difference 7" inquired
Stahlnexker, unsuspecting';.-.
"Why," said Mr. Cox. "the gift of a
dressed turkey would be a dead g.e
away."
Stahlnecker was ou a train going to New
York the next day before t.ie pun in its
fu'l measure of atrocity brcke upon bim.
Hd wa4 then so overco.ne by it tlvat he
telegraphed from Puila ielpiiia thai tne
joke bal just got through Lis hwt.!, and
he woald pay for ait turkeys, aiwe r
dressed, that Mrs. Cox wanted to order
His Onty Hope.
Henry (married six monthVi -I fear
my wife's love ia growing cold. St nseit
to eome U tbe cilice tio or t::r-e tims
a day, but she never come now. What
shall I do T
Frank Have yoa a typewriter?
"No, but I can get one cheap."
"Do so. Then jret a pretty girl to oper
ate it and yoor office will be fu'l of your
wife." .Yrw IVtn.
An exchange says that an editor once
applied at the door of Hades for admis
sion. "Well," replied his sable inaj--ty,
"we let one of your profession in Ler?
many years ago,arvi be kept npaenn-tino-al
row with his former dciin r;.- :;!
subscribers and as we have more of that
ckas thaa any other we hare passed a
law prohibiting theadminion of editors."
f I