Jii
S f
4
Somerset Herald
ESTABUSMtD HIT.
ei-rris ot'lublication.
l (hfd every Wcsinesday morning it 12 W
(.lllSf f pi ', in advance; otherwise 12 50
;-va:iaV.y be charged.
j.-it-nTiition
will be discontinued ncUl all
aragv paid up. PosUnasten. nr-giccUr.g
,r ns hen rnibseriVr, do not take oat their
B alU fce'.d iponilMe for the TObacrip-
removing from on postotfice to aa-
. f-h.v.id give m the nunt of the former m
i as de present offcoa. Addreaw
Th SoMCKsrr ITzbald,
? SoNERHIT, PiL.
. ' C. HOLBERT,
v. ATTORNEY-AT LAW,
koiaenet. Pa.
with John H. fhL
X- YD. W.BIEPECKEK,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.
Somerset, ra
se In Printing Home Row, opjit Court
t.
iYr:jK R scull,
'. T ATTOKNEY-ATLAW.
Somerset, Pa.
t
s.-.rr7 ...
I .iTT iv. x.I.E.
ATTiiHSfYSAT I .AW.
' t KiKrr, Pa.
1 j K is J". It.
. ATTORNEY -AT LAW
rsimerset. Pa.
II. S
.. KNDsLKY,
ATlVlt.VI!YAll..
Somerset. Pa.
1 TDIA'T
St. ' aYi'OKNEY-AT-LAW,
Somerset. Pa.
j. pkitts.
VI, AlTukNEYATLAW.
Somerset, Pa.
i . in Somerset County Bank.
T KBAEB.
'J. ATTORNEY-AT-I.AW,
- Somerset, Pa..
- ,,.Hry-r in Rawiwt arid adjoitcng enttn
Iminc entrusted U) JUn will receive
; : H attention.
ill t'erFROTH. U- Rl'fWU
V, ,fh;oth ruppel,
ATTOKNEYS-AT I AW.
Somerset, Pa.
i" Mein.-ss entrusted to their rare will be
. . i .Hi punctually attended to Office on
V i:.'(r. Nrctt, oi':.ite Mammoth Block.
VM. U. KOONTZ.
VA ATTUKNEYATI.AW.
' Somerset, ra.,
1 rvt prompt attention to business entrusted
. I.,areiu Somerset a:id adjoining counties.
, , in Priming House Row, oj.iKj.iu: the Court
r
UNSIS MEYERS, ti in,
Ail . 1 -A A -A-i
i .. ' business entrusted to his rare will tie
,1 ,i.,"i io wiiu promptness and fidelity. Orbce
, i 1.1..U Street, olite Hie tuurt lioiwe.
ilIN t. hi mm r
ATlOK.Ntt-AIl-AYi.
t " ti nd to all tnSnew enlr.irtrd to hi i-are
i .','.--. t and a.jo!nmn Minlie. with I-kmiij-.
. h:'I t..1. l:'v. (Ifne u Wain Ctumi Street,
t up i- i-lit-r I-1 tfre.
IMLS L. lTtiH.
ATluKNEY-ATLAW.
hiinerset. l a.
ft , In Mnmmoth Rlwk. up rtaim. Kntraiire
,(jUin 'n Nnrt. '.!l..-ti.nii madr. ertU
,'l ..1 utirn ianiiiH-d. and ail )fl biiMUomat-
..',.., to Willi promptun ami nuvm).
4.1 COLBOKS. " tXILBORN.
ToiUlOKN A COI.r.OltN,
t ATTuK.N EY6-AT LAW,
. bollKTSvt, Pa.
k ; uin"w enlnitiil to onr care will 1
a '.,j.v U"d fallhl'llllv alU-lldl t". oU-tlollll
Vin' NTicm-t. He.(lml and adioiuitiK
: Sur. yniK and couveyauciuK uoue on rua
..fp.il.le trruik.
tTKNKY. F. W'HKU.,
II A1TMK.NEV-ATLAW,
j . bi.inersrt,
j, -r.itv and Pension Agent. Ofliee in Mammoth
'"k- '
tAI.KNTINF HAY,
AnoKNEYATLAW.
! Kimerwt, Pa.
L w P. H1.T in R-al K-tate. Will attend to all
ti-'ii- . uiruned to hi care with promplut
Mi twl-'litj. .
-4-
ions li. niL,
J ATTORNEY AT LAW.
T Somer t. Pa.
V iil t,n.mi.tlv attend to all bnsin. eutnwted
; t .mi. Money ativaiH-ed on oulleftioua,c OI
:e iu MKiunioth Uicu k.
i
I)
U. J. E. lilKSKCKER,
inri(11V AND gl RO.EON,
j ss..ji kiu-et. Pa.,
4-der hi tm.fehmaliion-ie to the eitiretnol
. ., r. l and vi. inity. Ottu in Hieneeker
;t tier l'rug Sure.
K1MMFLL,
.. i .u ...r.im.l ..rrire to the eltlr.ent
J,,meret and vi. inity. Tilled profioimlly
.. w A he can he found at bis otliet on Maiu L
til lllalnolld.
I)
R. 11. F.KUBAKKU,
f ...t..r hi. r,,f..sKional K-n ic-e U the elUiens
-..lner-.-! and vi. inity. t'rtniu rtideieou
4.:,u street wet of Jnauioud.
f R. J. M. Wll'THFR,
if (Hnwrty of .VuyrofmMl.)
PHYSItTAS AND RI.EOS,
located permanently in Somerset for the
$...-u,t of hi pn.ieM.iou. OU:; ou Main aueet,
& rear of lrug Su.re.
1U.J.S. M MII.I.KX.
) ( (iroiiuult in 1 friJirfry,)
..ivr ,ial attention to the preM-nat Ion of
t4 naiuia! teeth. Artin.-al fceu. iiiM-rle.!. All
4 -rHU,,,, Kiiaraiitml hatii-fartory. 111 the
tm.iver M M.Tre.iell A Jo.' More, corner
,iu t'n and Patriot atreela.
tR. JtlHX BIU5.
If HENT1ST.
3iee up-ntalrn in Cook A BeeriU Block.
t K- WM. COLLINS,
UEST1ST.
i.iSice In Knepjr'a Block up-talr, where he
i . be found l all tiniei. pr.-pared to di all kindi
ifaork.Ki. il a tilling, regulating, extracting.
. Arinii iHl teeth of all kindh and of the beat
iterial uihertil. All work guaranteed.
D
13. K. MILLER
i laf TTOinentlv hicatcd in Berlin for the prac
r ..f in inif..icu. othce .oppuMle Charlea
aT.-.iigiT More.
romei-et County I3ank.
iE.-TABUlIt:D 1!C7.)
, J. HARRISON. M. J. PRIHS,
J . Pkkmi.ent. Casiiiir.
9 ::1ioi maale in all part of the rnltod Slatea.
CHARGES MODERATE.
"iirtitu wishing to aend money Went can he ac
'iiinlatel hv draft on ew York iu any num.
i.-rln.n ma.ie nil prompting. I". S. Bond
.L-lit and nold. Money and faliiahlm atvured
i.eol lieUld cvii i.raled aaea, w lib ft tiar
M A a.c liu time lock.
I-A11 Lucal Ilolidavt Obseired.
'ViIAKLES HOFFMAN',
MERCHANT TAILOR.
(Above Hi filey'i Store.)
.tKt Stylew, land IxwBt rVio".
ATISFACTION GUARANTEED.
Somerset. Pa.
CAU.ESMEN WANTET
Permanent Situations guaran-
M. .v,,,,, nmi xnv p....!, SJeial in.llice
1,1. to U'LiiitM.. Any man can Micwvd with
' avtiTilHi.'. and 'lliekellutg aMM-iaHle.
" ri.' at 'ti.e. giving aue. HiH.KFK
' hrl.KlK-vi-mal.li'-hcd l"i.) KoiHKvtr.K, N.
(.Name tlii pa-r. fehr-im.
I'MINISTKATORVS NOTICE,
t uie of !Vrry Walker, dee d, late of ililrord
I Tap., wnti.-rwt CaHinty. Pa.
i l-n. r .rf AdniinMratnm on tiie above ewate
r 'ii-g l.e-ii rautcl t the ondersi;tM-d by ihe
f "j-f HMiiinntv. tioip la lit-reby given to all
J- r.ll i;, nul to aiud eataje Ui make imnifdi.
t' payuieiit. and tU. having rlaiiua against
e hatnf. ill prt-i'iit them duly autheiiluated
I-r artilfiiH-itt on or Wfiwe Sttiurday, the 'J7th
f ot July. laa-t at the late reaideue of dee d in
J olord luaiohip.
J KAMI KI. J. IIOWSKR.
I JilNATIIAF J. Vt A! KER,
J";'Oj. AiiuiiuiPuaiMii.
T- A : -V: m -r i: T-v t
l V XNi 1: XJ I
C 1 l-.MFV to intmdiice and aell our tine atock
i their i.w u liM-alitioa. W rite for out aie.ial
'-itoMtl9n,(.n during the present Mmwiu. Fx
w t.ive t.-miory" grHiit. d. Salary oud exp.'Uaea
! to g.l luvii. Addreaa at out',
I SELUER- ATWOOD,
f-,iB1- i Xutreijmta.Ceni, X. Y.
l.ne
YOL. XXXVIII.
TJACOBSOII
TRADE VMAIA
REMrAiAlN
IS 1 1 fix i n isn ii 1S t t-tx i n a
AFTEll NINE I KE! TEAKS.
TH ENCASE.
Uror. alia la
0iy, fa
t"e. W -Th. Wwia."
T. T -tw
la. oaaa ata
' 111 ir.
"t a atrtatag .xaapl.
ar auTarla -.4 t.
a i TO Kh. kaa lint
to aaa Hiir far
Tra. aua la 11 U
'"a aa. au tkroaa
ie a aracoa. aaatalBlaa
rlc.i ln.tirr u k.r
"laa Pnna lKt tint.
tlU 1111 aba w . k.lp.
Jaaj.rlpiu.,
THE CURE.
xlarlag taaaa arag alaa
taa rwn tit aaSartmc.
ak. iaua a. raraf ha
t k anama rawaaiai
atMka4trla4 talUtkat
aakur Taa4 tta aaV
aartlaaauuit ef Bt Jack.
Oil. aa aa. koafkt tar.
Vmiaa Tba OU n a p.
rllat. ax4 kaTnra ik. aae.
aa4 aott a waa axhaaau4
ar Kra. Ommill. akawaa
abla an walk aboat aa.
ha. kaaa cawalat.lf
K TEOktPSOg.
faataatttf.
Corealtlienmatlam. Neuralgia. Kelatlea
k-mnlairo, Ilaekaelie, nraJa.Ua,
Tootharhe, Kerr throat, Hwell
aa, Kr.ttlt, Kpralna,
Mroiaea, Cata. Iturna,
and S-aM.
fo'A bn Ttruv.nM and limlirt "r irA .
THE CHARLES A. VOCELER CO.. Baltimara. Ma.
Dress the Hair
V.'ith Aycr's ITair Visor. Its cloanli
"titwH, Iwiicfniul fiT.Mt.1 on the eculp, nn.l
lastinx fxiifiinio comiiienil it for iini
vcrstil toiii t uso It km j tiio hair soft
ami silken, preanrvos its color, irevcn!s it
from falling, ami, if tlio Iiair lixs Ixtoido
weak or thin, j'loiaot. s a nuw growth.
"To restore tlio orijrinal color of my
liair, xvliieli liail timid prematurely
jrray, I uaeil Ayer'a Hair Vi'- with -n-u
re ruccets. 1 cheerfully testify to the
Efficacy
of this preparation." Mrs. P. IT. David,
ami, Alexandria, La.
" I waa. aflliete.l some throe rears xritli
c,i!p lis.-a.ii-. My hair wait failinir out
an. I v hat reiiiaino l turm-.l eray. 1 wart
iiiihiei'.l to try .yet n Jlair Visor, mi. I
in a fnw WK-kH tlio tlisea-..) ju inv sralji
lisap;ieared and lny La:r resume. I
original color." ( ili-v. S. S. Sims,
'am lor LT. U. Church, tit. Berni.-c, lu.l.
' A few years a:o I sniT.To.l the entirn
loss of my hair from the effort f tetter.
1 hopcil that after a time naturu would
rejia r th loss, but I wailed in vain.
Many reni.-.li. s were Bipjscstol, none,
hotteii-r, witli mu ll jirou( of merit as
Aver' Hair Visor, and I Ix-san to use it.
The r.-sult was a!l I du1.1 liave drsircl.
A sroivtli tif liair kimiu came out all over
my head, and prow to Ih) as Holt ami
heavy as I ever had, and of a natural
color, and firmly net." J. U. i'rait,
SSHiiU rd, Texas.
Ayer's Hair Vigor,
Dr. J. C. Aycr U Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold l.y lm-lala and 1'crf umcra.
Real Estate For Sale.
JOHNSTOWN'S NEW SUBURB,
Y o x li a jiE
VI,TiHMV;H nitutttinl nearly iwo nv fmm
thf hvnri of I tic Ioau, U it, cuuuccLei with
Miuio by the
Rapd Transit Railroad f
On whiri tmiiitt run fvtT- thirty niiiiuu-. nd
aft ir Jl I.Y IM, will run tvery iiiuvn miiiuii'.
The frt if the Miine an on the n-tivet ear-. tiv
vvut ; tinif, eiiht luiiiMW4. Thin iiuiLt-s Mox
Iihki is) tut I U a Vaulk ofmily lour Mtiarft from
the iNj-,i--jUire ; iu achlitiu to w hu h. the new
VALLEY PIKE
runs thr..upii the lienrt of thn ;roKTty anl fomi
thf tiiHin ihoroiiirtilnrt'. mukinu a Mmrt levil
drive inln JohiiKitm ii otvr a gtwJ rtawl way and
hHvy sf iirhajrei.
1 he Uye nntiiliT of liauxen already er'Heil at
Moxhaiu have julftii"! every twM.era improve
ment, aniou w Lk b may lx- iiicntitmeti
A GOOD SEWER SYSTEM.
Tho Va-tnp Pewer Pv-ttn has lren aclnpliNl.
wim KUi-ih tanks. Over half a mile ofwwtr i
alnady luiL
A Good Domestc Water System
Has al-o Ut, proviuVl. Thernt are ' "rcen
les than )i'hnlou rules.
-XAT1IIIAL OAS
Rates lire the wime ns in J.dtnMown. Thi, to
gether wilh the
WELSBACH INCANDESCENT GAS LIGHT
For hiiine use given Moxam every m.alern fiu-ili-ty.
The weU-known
Von Limeii Cri-ove,
The summer evening reort or .lohntown. Is sit
uated in the very heart of the pr.rty.
in one part of the pmerty act by for the pnr
p.a., the re are a lurgv M.t-I I'hmt. a K.aindry and
several .-her fai-tories, einploying together from
to i men, and several more likely to soon be
bieated tiiere.
over kI ttv taatv h.mi slready built, and this
numUr mil be doubled this year.
The lots an- 4-0x120 feet. The streets laid out
fur a nidili of to tcct, including sidewalk.
TERMS LIBERAL. Eor prices and infor
mation anplv to .
J(IHsvN AM EN, Aeetit.
Bedfonl Strt-t Station, JohnMowu, 1'a.
mayl.-tf.
CURTIS K. GROVE.
SOMERSET, PA.
BrtXil&t, SLEIGHS, CARRIAGES,
SPRING WAtiONS, BCCK WAtWSt,
AND EASTERN AND WESTERN WORK
Furnished on Short Notice.
Painting Done on Short Time.
fy work is made out of Torrmah!y Srvunnaf Wood,
and tae fa Irrm and .StW, Sultsiantialiy
Cotistrui ted. Neatly Finh-hed. and
Warranted to give liatistaeliou.
Enplcy 0y First Class Vcrbnen.
Retatiring of All Kinds la My Line I"one on
short Notice. Price. REASON ABLE, and
All Work Warranted.
Call an 1 Examine my Stock, and I -earn Prctaj
t flo Waguu-work, and funiish Selves for Wind
If ilia, Kemcnitwr the place, and call in.
CURTIS K. GROVE,
(East of Court House)
SOMERSET. PA
EI.0. IIOTJETIiEIt
MERCHANT TAILOR.
(So. 2 Mammoth Block,)
HOMERSET, PA.
All the Iatet Style of Fall and Winter Suitings
and ver-atiuga. Hausfacliou Ouarauleed, and
Lowest Price
7XIX:iTOK'S NOTICE.
itate of William Sevit, dee'd., late of Brothrn
ralh-y Ta p. Htmierset t., ra.
Ix'tters utanientaryon the aUre ttate having
hern granted to the "utidrrhimed by the proper
authority ii.i.-e is taen-by given U all irnuis
indeitfed toaaid estate n make imnnvlliue aty
raent. and thtiae having claims anin-4 the same
will pr--nt them duly aulhenii.ntul Utr settle
ment to tbe undersigned on tNUurtlay, the pah
da of August, lsss, at the late resident "f dee d.
A. M. CEV1TS.
Jnneas. Executor.
NO. 3.
THE GATHERING PLACE.
I know not w here beneath, above
The gathering place so wonderful.
Hut all who till our life w ith love,
(io forth to make it beautiful,
till! we ill it with all wealth of grar,
lf noble heart, of fair, sweet face,
1 that exalted meeting place.
Life changes all our tho-.iglits of heaven ;
At tirst we think of streets of gold.
Of walls as w hite as snow, w hid -driven.
Of lofty arenas grandly cold,
of gates of pearl and dazzling light,
(if shining wings and rota? of white.
And things ail struuge to mortal sight.
But In the afterward of years
It is a tiaire familiar plat ;
A home unhurt by sighs ami tears.
Where wailetli many a well-known fare;
Where little ehlldreti play and slug, .
And maidens and the old men bring
Their tributes to the gracious King.
With passing moit'i it comes more near,
It gnms more re: Id i)'by diy;
No strange or cold, but very dear
The glad home laud not lar away !
W here n-ea bit licth, mnking moan,
Where none are poor, or sick or lone,
The place w here we shall hud our own !
Anil as we think of all we know.
Who there have met and )art no more,
Our longing hearts desire home bio,
VI itii all the strife and trouble o'er;
So jss.r the world now they have gone.
We scarcely dare to think up 41
The year- before out nst is won.
And yet our Fatli.T knowetii best
The joy or suduts that w e need,
The time when we may take our rest.
And lie from sin ami sorrow freed.
So we will wait wilh attieut grace,
Till in that hlrmcd gathering place
We meet our friends and see His face.
JUDGE BURNS' SPEECH.
1!V CXt'tl.E UUHU
" Bother the speech ! I wish to good
ness the Fourth of July was over ! Mr.
Jeffrey groaned as if all the sins of Chica
go were loaded on his conscience. Prefi
ently he remarked in a calm voice to his
pretty young wife behind the tea-kettle :
"Mrs. Jeffrey, these biscuits are a suc
cess.'' And when Mr. Jeffrey had said
bo, the last half of the seventh hot biscuit
with its thick coat of butter, reached the
plat where the groan had come from.
But while stirring his fifth cup oftea, lie
said, with another groan .
"That speech will make me lose my
appetite. You don't know how a fellow
can lie worried about his maiden sjieech,
Molliel loir need not fret about such
things. That's a comfort, anyway."'
'' You need not worry either, Jeff. Afk
to lie excused, if it bothers yon. They
will invite someliody else to take your
place."
" Won't do, Mollie! I was rather pleas
ed when the committee asked me, and so
I promised right away. It would look
bad to back out now."
" Iook here, Will, suppose I write that
speech for you, and you deliver it."
''Oh, Moll, I would not think of such a
thing:"
" Why not ? Why can't we help each
other in this, as in everything else? The
one of us that finds a thing easier onght
to do it."
" It's a great deal harder than you may
think"
" I remendier the time when I was
Mollie Ross. I thought it a great deal
easier then to dash oil an oration than
to bake a decent loaf of bread. Well, shall
I write it for you ?"
" No, thank you, Moll. It would nev
er do, I am afraid. A fellow ought to
stand on his own ground. I am liound
to do it all by myself." He looked the
picture of proud independence.
"All right, Will. Do just as you think
liest." She seemed a little humiliated.
" Never mind, Molly ! I believe in
your biscuits and coffee and butter, aud
lots of other things. You are about as
nice and good a little wife as any fellow
could wish for; but I would not have
you dabble in political speeches. St.
Paul don't approve of it cither," he add
ed, jocularly.
" I don't think St. Paul would object if
he could come back. So broad-minded
a man as he would be sure to alter some
of his opinions for the use of our times.
Besides, I offered to wrt e in order to re
lieve you, sir. A woman can write, and
still hold her tongue, and keep below the
rostrum."
" All right ; but you nee, Molly, there
is another hitch. You can't argue that
away, if you tried ever so hard. I don't
believe a woman can say all she lias to
say in fic m'umtt. No speaker will be
allowed more than five minutes at the
celebration. Now a woman never knows j
when to stop. She can't do it to save
her life. Her tongue, will wag about
things in general for half an hour, anil
by that time she generally is so excited
you could not stop her any more than
you could stop a watch that's wound up
for the day. You would have to bu'st it
or throw it in the water; nothing less
violent could stop it."
"Io stop, Jeff, you horrid man! there !
that's nice! And I, who thought I had
tiained you well to think highly of mc
and the rest of us women 1 You will
have to be put through a new and spec
ial course of training, sir. And as for
that speech, you may Bigh about it as
much as you please, tor all I care. I
would not write that speech for you now
if you went down on your knees to ask
me for it no, sir ; you w ill have to write
it by your own proud self, hubby."
The big, bearded young " hubby" evi
dently thought her mock anger a good
joke.
"No, I won't waste a drop of ink on
it," he said. " We are just going to think
it over on the stoop, my pipe and I. 1
guess I can see through it before to-morrow
morning."
When the roosters awoke Mr. Jeffrey
next morning before sunrise he said :
" Molly, you onght to have heard my
speech! It went off like a rocket; the
people clapjied like fury, and the fellows
yelled themselves hoarse. I dreamed it
was Fourth of July, and my speech came
off fit-rate in four minutes fifty-five
seconds. I do wish it had not been a
dream !"
It was haymaking lime on the farm
a busy, warm time. The Fourth of July,
the village tx-lebral a, and Mr. Jeffrey's
maiden spewh n drawing close. Din
ner waa over dish-washing too and
Mrs. Molly now proceeded to churn but
ter, A buggy stopped at the gate; an
elderly gentleman, with gray whikers
and.gold specticles, came walking up to
the house, and shook Mrs. Jeffrey's out
stretched hand on the door-step, where
the little lady, in her neat print dress
and white apron, bad come to meet her
E
SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY,
unexpected visitor, one of her former
school trustees.
" I am so glad to see you, Judge
Burns!" said her lips and her smile, and
sire meant it. "How are you and your
jHHipIe? Take this rocking-chair."
"I am sorry I cm not stay, Mrs. Jeff
rey, I am on my way to Pinelake on bus
iness. Very warm day the dust nearly
choked me so I thought I would come
and ask yon for a drink out of your well,
if you will allow me, Mrs. Jeffrey."
They were both standing by " the old
oaken bucket" at the well, wherj the
jiblgti hail enjoyed a cool drink.
"I am sarry Mr. Jeffrey miste.l your
visit," said Mrs. Jeffrey. "I know he
would be delighted to have a talk with
you. Could you not come in to tea on
jour way back from Pinelake? Mr. Jef
frey will be in then. We shall "lie so
happy to have you and there will be
fresh buttermilk by that time. I re
member you were fond of it."
" I saw Mr. Jeffrey in the fields a little
way off," the judge remarked, with a
smile. I do believe he was talking to
the bay-stacks. I am nearly sure I
caught some scraps of an oration. He
stood there, pitchfork in hand, before a
row of stacks, and harangued them :
'Ijuiie ami gentlemen ' On this mem
orable day.' I knew be was practicing
his Fourth of July SH'ech, ami sympa
thized with him, for I am in the same
box. For Mr. Jeffrey, it has at least the
of note'ty charm; but wait until he has the
same dish some fifteen or twenty years
he w ill be pretty tired of patriotic speech
es by that time." He smiled and she
smiled."
" He complains now already. I offered
to write that little sjieech for him, but he
declined."
' Declined ! Did he really ? Well, well.
Iok here, Mrs. Jeffrey, let somebody
else have it. Ask wic, for instance."
"Oh, Mr. Burns! you are joking."
" Not at all, not at all, my dear madam.
I never was more in earnest in my life.
Do let me have that speech, please. I
am willing tostoop dowuand pick up the
crumbs that fall from the rich man's
board in this case. But remember, it
must be short live minutes, and no
more."
" Would it not be a capital joke on Mr.
Jeffrey?'' the lady said, half musingly.
" Well, judge, I don't care if I write it,
for the lun of the thing. You must nut
tell him, though, before the Fourth of
July is over. Alter the celebration you
may tell him whenever you like."
" I can keep my jieace if you can, Mrs.
Jeffrey. Will you write it while I tn to
Pinelake? I might stop here on my re
turn, in a couple of hours, and get the j
manuscript."
" I could not possibly do that. Busi
ness goes before pleasure, you know. I
have some butter to churn."
" IxKik here ; suppose 3"ou let me
churn your butter while you write the
speech ?"
The old gentleman was by this time
fairly interested in thii novel transac
tion. He went to tie the horse and bug
gy under a shade tree, w hile thinking
by himself:
"There is plenty of time, and it will
be cooler to drive in an hour or so. And
churning is easy enough, I am sure: it's
women's work. IL won't take me long ;
it will be quite a change, too iwialio
ihhcitit. It will be interesting to see what
k ind of ; that smart little lady turns
out.
Mr. Jeffrey practiced oratory before an
audience of hay-stacks, in the sweat of
his honest brow. Puck, the Judge's
horse, made frantic effortsto keep off the
flies. Mrs. Mollie sat in the parlor, where
her marriage certificate and teacher's di
ploma looked dow n upon her out of their
frames. Her pen was busily rasping over
the note-pajier, and the. writer looked
pretty, cool, and happy. Judge Burns
looked neither cool nor happy in the cel
lar, sitting on a stool before an old-fashioned
churn. The old gentleman was
fast losing his temper, and making but
slow progress with the butter. He
ditl not find it 'as easy as he had
thought no woman's work, by any
means. Why, he felt like swearing, so
thoroughly out of patience was he with
that old churn, a regular media-val in
strument of torture. He felt like shak
ing Jeffrey, too, if he had been on hand
to be shaken. " He was a brute ; that's
what he was." Judge Burns muttered,
" that big, burly young fellow, to let that
delicate-looking little wife of his make
such a slave of herseif, ami break
over that abominable churn! He would
give Jeffrey a talking to. Thank Heaven,
Mrs. Burns has never been asked to do
such work. Why, it was outrageous to
leta woman handle that churn."
" Bang, splash, bang, splash, up and
down went the stick of the churn. The
work grew heavierand heavier, the judge
hotter and hotter. Down flew the gold
siiectacles; the hat followed suit ; soon
the coat lay on the floor alongside of the
hat. Bang, splash, went the churn.
With a final bang the Judge jumjied np
from his stool in sheer despair, growling
between his teeth :
"Goodness sakes! The millennium
will be at hand before that butter is
done!"
" Well, judge, how are you getting on ?"
said a cheery voice, and Mrs. Jeffrey's
light print dress lit up the cellar door.
He picked up his coat and hat with a
dazed, haggard look, and said :
"This is not a lady's work, Mrs. Jeff
rey. I found out so much as that. You
ought not to work that churn ; you will
hurt yourself."
" I churn three times a week. I don't
mind it much now ; I am used to it."
Seeing how tired he looked, she sud
denly changed the subject, and said :
"Do come with me out of this place to
the veranda. There is quite a breeze
now."
She picked up his glasses and wiped
them on her apron, while he preceded
her np stairs. This v nicest corner
in the afternoon, and this is the easiest
rocking-chair. Sit down, sir. There is a
juil tn-leaf. Now get cool and comforta
ble until I come back with fresh butter
milk for you. Won't you enjoy butter
milk of your own making ! Here are
your glasses, and here is the speech,"
She pulled it out of her apron pocket,
and handed it reluctantly and timidly to
him.
" Now, please don't make fun of my
work, and I will praise yours so much
more." She courtesied, and disappeared.
Mr. Burns put on his glasses without
STAJ3LISHEID 1827.
. i
, .
delay, unfolded the few leaflets, and read.
And when he was through reading he
looked as if he hail liven listening to the
first bluebird's song iu early spring. He
was in the best htiinftr by the time Mrs.
Jeffrey appeared with a pitcher full of
buttermilk. " What no you think of the
butter?" he called oat,
" It's a great success, and I congratu
late you ; and I am ever so much oblig
ed to you, Mr. Burn." Then she added,
in an under-tone: "ind the speech?"
" It could not be unproved npon, my
dear Mrs. Jeffrey. "Xou are an orator to
the manner born, upn my word. Allow
me to congratulate' and express my
thanks."
They shook hands jbver the pitcher of
buttermilk, anil laugled like a couple of
happy children. A foment after, Judge
Burns, with the Foutih of July oration
in his breast pocket rove Pugk on to
ward Pinelake.
The Fourth of Jojy had come, and
proved to be a regular scorcher. There
was a noisy crowd at the village celebra
tion, and the marked-place was thickly
strewn with burnt-out firecrackers, pea
nut shells, banana anil orange peels.
The sjieakers' platform was ablaze with
bunting, and every window around the
s piare seemed a fraibe for pretty faces
and gorgeous millinery.
Mr. Jeffrey's speech was one of the
first on the progam,! but it was by no
mrai s one of the bufet. Ho began sol
emnly in a voice as loud as a foghorn :
"Ladies and gentlemen This memor
able day," etc. For one minute there
was a How of pompous phrases, carefully
committed to memory then came a sud
den stop another start another stop.
The tall speaker pulled up his shirt col
lar as if he was choking started anew, got
more and more entangled, wished him
self a mile underground, flushed, stam
mered, and was at last gently reminded
by the president that his time was up.
The last speaker was Judge Burns.
And what a wonderful speech he made!
There was no end of cheering anil clap
ping. The girls waved their handker
chiefs, after having wiped off their tears.
"Wasn't it perfectly lovely?" "Just too
lovely for anything ! " The women buiil
ed and the men nodded approval. " It
was a daisy and no mistake." " Hurrah
for Judge Bums." Three cheers lor
lli zi kiali Burns!" At an 0eil wimlow
opmsite the platform Kit the postmas
ter's wife, ami lH-si.le her a little lady in
a white dress, with a pretty flushed fare
and a pair of very bright eyes fixed on
the sakcr, and turning to the village
cliK-k the moment Judge Burns dosed
his oration.
Mr. and Mrs. Jeffery drove home ear
ly after the celebration. He had noth
ing to say, and and was as cross as a bear
after his failure. Ills wife did not show
any sympathy either so unlike her,
too! She seemed to have enjoyed her
self thoroughly. Fvery thing seemed
funny to nerltitMfliiv 'day houu, where
he could see n fun at all. Her laugh
grated on his ear for the first time.
' Catch me making a fool of myself again
in public!" he thought, but he did not
say so.
While he put the horse in the stable
Mrs. Molly got the tea ready, an unusu
ally good tea, and just the kind of jelly
he liked lie it. In the evening she actu
ally struck a match to light bis pipe on
the stoop, anil laughingly pulled his cur
ly hair.
" What's the matter with you to
night, Molly ? I don't see what tickles
yon."
"I supjKise it's the celebration that has
gone to my head. It is Fourth of July but
once a year."
"Yes, thank goodness!" he muttered,
puffing away nt his pie.
Next morning's mail brought a couple
of letters and the local paper. This once
the ( iiti'le seemed the center of attrac
tion to Mr. and Mrs. J.
" It's see about the celebration,"
she said, eargerly ; " do read aloud
Will!"
" Haven't time. It would take me all
the afternoon. Here are columns, and
columns, but not about me. Oh, yes
sure enough. They are 'in hopes Mr.
Jeflrey's corn crop will turn out a greater
success than his oration.' Well, I don't
care what they Fay." He laughed good
naturedly, for he had gotten over his
mortification. Here is -fudge Burns'
speech; neailyail of it, it seems, and
half a column of eulogy on it. Just lis
ten what they say: 'A erfect jewel of
poetic expression a chaste i?arl of ora
tory dewy freshness a lightning flash
of patriotic eloquence.' Are you choking,
Molly?" She was as red as a berry,
ooughed and laughed alternately. " Well,
I must say it was a first-rate speech, but
no more than might be expected of a law
yer who has the gift of gab. He is an
old hand at that sort of.tliing. Why he
has spoken in public these thirty years.
It's his business to talk, just as it is m ine
to raise corn and wheat. How did you
like his speech, Moll ? "
" I can't say I though t it so very won
derful," she said. " It was nice enough,
and short. He was through before his
time was up. I noticed that more than
any thing else."
" Yon don't mean to say so I Why, I
thought of you while he spoke how you
would appreciate him. They were all
wild about that speech, both men and
women. It was full of fun and fire and
e.ithusiastn. Choking again, Molly?
Shall I slap j'ou on your back?" She
shook her head. " Yes, he understands
his business, that's certain. What's that?
Looks very much l;ke Burns' handwrit
ing. What can he have to write about? '
Mrs. M illy flushed to the very roots of
her wavy hair, while Mr. Jeffrey cut the
envelope with a table knife, and fell in a
brown study over his letter. His wife
watched hhii with a roguish twinkle in
her eyes. He looked as if he was read
ing the will of a maiden aunt whose in
heritance he had been sure of, and who
had suddenly died after changing her
will in favor of the Hottentot Mission.
The letter really was from Judge
Burns, and read as follows :
My Dear Ma. Jkffkev Excnse an
old friend who gladly took what you
had declined. The oration I delivered
yesterday, literally after the manuscript,
was the work of Mrs. Jeffrey. While
she wrote that very excellent speech,
which I accepted aa a godsend, I took her
place at the chum, and spent one of the
most laborious hours of my life making
butter. The transaction being altogeth
er in my favor, I fell very much indebt
ed to Mrs. Jeffrey, and hope she will ac
aL.
JULY 10 , 1889.
cept a token of my sineete regard in the
shape of a new patented churn, which, as
the manufacturers claim, will make
churning a mere child's play. My dear
Mr. Jeffrey, yonr partner in marriage has
more brains, heart energy than you anil
I taken togheter. Sincerely your friend.
IIezekiaii K. Et tiNS.
"Molly, did did yon you really
write that speech ? "
" Yes, sir," said Mrs. Molly. "And it
came off inniili- of Jirr (un,Vs, sir. Your
coffee is cold l.et me give you another
cup, Willie dear."
Tight Clothing.
A young lady a few weeks ago applied
to a physician for treatment. She suffered
from continual headache, and had done
so for years, and she had other troubles.
The physician examined her thoroughly,
and satisfied herself (the physician was
a woman) as to the causesof the patient's
maladies.
" I cannot treat you," said the doctor,
" unless you follow my instructions im
plicitly. But if you promise to do so, I
think 'your health w ill improve immedi
ately, and will soon be entirely restored."
The patient promised entire compli
ance with the instructions of the physi
cian. "The first thing for you to do is to take
offyotir corsets, or wear tlu-m so loosely
that your vital organs will not be at all
coin pressed even w hen you take a full
breath. Then suspend all your clothing
from your shoulders, and have nothing
hang from your hits. Procure a pair of
low heeled shoes about two sizes larger
than you wear now. Uive up drinking
tea or coffee, or take them very weak.
At first you may miss the stimulus, but
only for a few da) s. Eat nourishing food
at regular intervals, and go to bed early
and get your sleep out. Walk to and
from your place of business so as to get
all the exercise possible for you in the
open air."
A little medicine was given the patien
for some local trouble, but treatment was
relied on for the main difficulties. She
did exactly as her physician told her.
In a few days she was free from head
ache, anil in a few weeks she was enjoy
ing a dregree of health up to that time
entirely unknown to her. The heart
was able without check from tight cloth
ing to do its work; her lungs had full
play, and could purify the blood withe. ut
hindrance from corset laces; the abdom
inal organs no longer crowded down
upon the delicate organs lielow them,
performed their functions without inter
fering with any other oigans of the
body ; elasticity gradually came back to
the step of the young woman, color came
to her face, light to her eye anil cheer
fulness born of good health to her heart.
The physician from whose mouth this
statement was received averred that the
good results this patient enjoyed were
directly from the treatment she received
and gavai he rise If, aud uotfcupj Uie.Uie.di
cine. .V. 1'. Sun.
Courage in Everyday Life.
Moral courage was printed in large let
ters and put as the captain of the follow
ing items, and placed in a conspicious
place on the door cf a systematic mer
chant in New York, for constant refer
ence :
Have the courage to dischurge a debt
while you have the money in your pock
et. Have the courage to speak your mind
when it is necessary to do so, and hold
your tongue when it is prudent you
should do so.
Have the courage to speak to a friend
in a "seedy" coat, even though you are
in company with a rich one, and richly
attired.
Have the courage to owp you are poor,
and thus disarm jioverty of its shariiest
sting.
Have the courage to tell a man why
yon refuse to credit him.
Have the courage to tell a man why
yon will not lend him your money.
Have the courage to cut the most agree
able acquaintance you have when you
are convinced he lacks principle ; a friend
should bear with a friend's infirmities,
but not with his vies.
Have the courage to show your respect
for honesty, in whatever guise it appears
and your contempt for dishonesty ami
duplicity, by whomsoever exhibited.
Have the courage to wear your old
clothes nntil you can pay for new ones.
Have the courage to prefer comfort and
propriety to fashion, in all things.
Have the courage to acknowledge your
ignorance, rather than seek for knowl
edge under false pretences.
Have the coinage, in providing an en
tertainment for your friends, not to ex
ceed your means.
Have the courage to obey your Maker
at the risk of being ridiculed by man.
Fortunate Father and Son.
" I am as certain as I now live," says C.
E. Bartholomew, of Kalkaska, Mich.,
"that Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite
Iiemedy, of Bondout, N. Y, saved my
life when I was a victim of that terrible
renal disorder Bright's Disease. My
win had a fever sore on his leg. He, too,
used Favorite Beniedy, and is now well.
But for this medicine I am sure both
father and son would have been si x fee
under the sod.
A Tennille, On., man caught a number
of fish and placed them, with an eel, on
lie grass. Later be prepared to string
them, but found that the eel had run his
tail through the gill of each fish anil tied
the end into a hard knot, thus convert
ing itself into a genuine fish string.
" Hunger is the Best Sauce."
As a rule, a person who has a good appe
tite has good health. But how many
there who enjoy nothing they eat, and
sit down to meals only as an unpleasant
duty. Nature's antidotes for this condi
tion are so happily combined in Hood's
Sursaparilla that it soon restores good di
gestion, creates an appetite, and reno
vates and vitalizes the blood so that the
beneficial effect of good fi)od is imparted
to the whole body. Truly hunger is the
best sauce, and Hood's Sarsaparilla in
duces hunger.
The number of books belonging to the
late M. .Chevruel, w hich his heirs have
donated to the Museum of Natural His
tory, is estimated at 8,000 to 10,000. Near
ly every branch of science is there represented.
1 (Ob
Smaller Crops and Better Pay.
It is Small, not large, cops that we
need more of. My minimum crops have
invariably been more profitable, and I
have heard more farmers make the same
remark. Would it not be well for our
farmers to combine to produce less for a
few years of all staple crops, thereby
thoroughly cleaning up the surplus and
getting better returns for our laUir than
we have received for the last decade?
Certainly we have the same right to com
bine to limit production as have coal or
oil companies, millers and manufacturers.
Some may say that it is our duty to our
selves and country to do our best in our
chosen calling but best for whom ? If
we can do better by producing less and
getting more for it, why not do it, as long
as other producers are doing the same
thing and we have to exchange our pro
ducts for theirs?
Why should farmers be the only class
of producers that cannot establish a price
for their commodities? When we buy
we have to pay the price asked; when
we sell we have to take the pittance the
purchaser sees fit to offer. Surely, no
class of laborers work as many hours for
as little pay as the farmer, and it is time
onr calling was more remunerative. Can
this be done by producing more or less?
I am of the opinion that General Butler
was right when he said "our trouble is
not overproduction, but underconsump
tion," and the question is, shall we in
crease the consumption of farm products?
Cartainly not by increasing the quantity,
but by improving the quality. Every
one knows that soggy potatoes, stale eggs,
rancid gutter, etc., last much longer than
good fresh No. 1 articles. If all our pro
ducts were the very best, much more
would be consumed, thus making a great
er demand and more remunerative prices.
Many of our wide awake farmers can
make a part of their productions an ac
tual necessity to one or more families in
our large cities at paying prices by sup
plying these products regularly, fresh,
sweet and wholesome. I know this by
experience, for my customers often tell
me that they prefer to purchase farm
products of the producer, esjiecially eggs
and butter.
It is laudable for practical farmers to
experiment, investigate and produce
maximum crops, but it is more profitable
to produce the liest and get g.xl pay for
them. Anifrinin .lyriViifV.i.isf.
Packing Butter for Winter Use.
For the benefit of such of our readers
as desire to pack away butter now for use
later on is here given, in brief, the meth
od of preserving butter employed by D.
II. Burrell & Co., Little Falls, N. Y., and
published in their annual catalogue:
"With reference to the holding of but
ter, our method here is, during the hot
months, to churn the cream until the but
ter comes in small granules about the
size of kernels of wheat, when we draw
b'frrrTe1i(e7TtTtnrrtrsh th jrrsnulHr
butter in cold water w hile it is in the
churn, turning the churn a few times,
then draw ing the water off, and finally
washing it with brine. Then wo take
oak casks which have been previously
scalded out with brine and thoroughly
clensed ; place in the bottom of the cask
a layer of salt, with a little saltpetre in
it ; then put in the butter, tilling the cask
to the top, then putting on a cloth, ami
over the cloth a pailful of salt, then put
ting the head in the cask securely, driv
ing tiie hoops down tight, finally pouring
in bri.te through a small hole bored in
the head until the cask is fillet!.
"The cask is then stoied away in u
cool place and watched for a couple of
weeks, pouring in brine so as to kti p it
full, but when finally it has taken up all
the brine it will, we drive a plug in the
the hole and let the c-.isk remain until
such time as we desire to sell the butter,
when we open the cask and take out suf
ficient butter to churn in the buttermilk
that results from the churning of the
cream on that day, and by churning this
granular butter in Hie buttermilk for a
few moments its flavor is freshened.
Then we take the butter from the churn,
work, salt pack in tubs as usual, and it is
very seldom that the sharpest buyer can
tell that this butter has not been freshly
made. The tubs in which it is picked
are fresh and bright, and there is noth
ing to indicate that it is old, anil in fact
it is fresh, because each of the butter
granules has been surrounded by strong
brine, thus excluding the air and retain
ing the aroma."
A writer in a Florida paper says of the
Seminole Indians: They have a
tradition handed down from their fore
fathers which they believe that the
Great Spirit first made the black man,
next the red man, and third, the white
man, after which the Great Spirit called
them together and placed before them
three boxes one filled with luniks and
maps, the second with bows, arrows and
tomahawks, the third with spades, axes,
hoes and hammers. "These are Vie
means offered by which you are to live ;
choose among them according to your
fancy." The white man had the first
choice, and choose the books and maps :
the red men took the bow, arrows and
tomahawks. From thi9 it is clear that
the Great Spirit intended the white man
to learn to read and write, and make
everything, even rum and whisky; the
red man, a first-rate hunfer and a great
warrior, was not to learn anything from
books not even to make rum or whisky
left he should kill himself with drinking;
the black man had nothing but working
tools it is clear that he was to work for
the white man, which he has continued
to do. We must go according to the
wishes of the Great Ppiret. It is very
good for the white man to read and
write, but very bad for the red man it
makes white men better, but red men
worse.
Hints That are Better than
Gold.
If you have bail breath, sluggish bow els,
pain in the small of your hack, ner
vousness or giddiness, your vital organs
are sadly out of condition. A mere
"dose of physic" will not help you.
Yonr only wise course is to take Dr.
David Kennedy's Favorite Iiemedy, of
Bondout, X. Y., and cleanse your sys
tem of the imparities. It reguiates the
Liver and Kidneys.
A Kennebec salmon weighing 20
pounds was offered for sale at Augusta,
Me., fish market the other day.
f
WHOLE XO. 1982.
To Prevent Baldness.
The principal cftti.-e fur hair laliing out
is neglect. Very few people understand
the nature of hair and the proper way of
taking care of it. Premature baldness
may be prevented and hair made to grow
on the heads of over half of the people
who considerthe'iiselvcs hopel 'Ss'y bald.
In the first place, every pers-m's sca'p
should produce from -Tut to Wk' hairs to
the square inch. The., have bulbs r
foHclrs that are supplied with life from
the minute blood vessels under the sca'p.
Iu ninety-nine cases out of one hundred
loss of hair is caused by bad tirculation
in these bliajd vessels. When the hair
first begins to fall out is the time for the
individual to lock after it. f proper
treatment Is now followed th.; loss of
hair may le easily stoped.
There are numerous symptoms of ap
proaching baldness that give warning to
an expert, but most people do not know
until the hair actually falls oat. All hu
man beings shed their hair at different
times, but when the hair cont.nues fall
ing, then there is lack of vitabty in the
buibsof the hair. The germ has not a
sufficiently healthy action to produce
another grow th of hair. People who do
not understand the treatment of the hair
should siinpiy wash the head with warm
water a::d pure Castile soap. The water
should la? J.l degs. below blood heat.
Cati!e soap is tiie Lest, because it is
made of olive oii, and contains verv little
alkali. This oieration should be gone
through with at least three times a week
for thirty days, In seven cas-.-s out of
ten this treatment will check the con
sumption in the blood vessels and in the
bulbs. The washing removes all organic
matter from the pores of the t-calp and
helps to allay any inllaiiimii'ioit that
may be present. I'nder such circum
stances in no case should ammonia or
Ixirax be used, although they are often
recommended.
I hold individually, from twenty-live
years' experience, that iu no cine should
the head be washed with cod water.
The cold creates to sudden a reaction,
and the results must be inj iriom. No
one in ordinary health need become bald
if he v. ill follow sensible treatment that
he can grasp himself.
In the second stage, or when the fall
ing of the 1. air h:is not tat'ii arrested by
the first treatment, more active measures
are needed. First cut the hair '.villi scis
sors close to the scalp. Then siiave the
topof the head where the hair is falling
out. IU" sure to use w trnt water and
genuine Castile soap in shaving. Then
a proper stimulant should be applied to
the scalp, and the shaving and applica
tion should be continued twice a w eek
for froai one to four months. This will
allow the bulbs to regain the strength
that they have lost by becoming impaired
by bad circulation of the blood vessels.
The object of their treatment is to keep
the strength in the bulb instead of its
passing into the hair and exhausting tbe
bulb. By shaving the head the strength
is allowed to accumulate in the bulb.
The drain on the blood vessel is also less,
and by resting they gain strength. In
no instance has a man received injury
from shaving the scalp if it is prop
erly done, but, on the contrary, the re
sults have, in nearly all cases, been bene
ficial. Care should be taken to avoid al
kalies aud cheap s.)a;s, as the Kires are
open and the hair is susceptiblo to inju
ry at this time.
Where the first two stages have been
neglected and the hair has apparently
fallen out, leaving a bald head, there is
stiil a chance of regaining the hair.
About 80 per cent, of the men w ho are
generally termed bald are not absolutely
bald. A close examination shows fine
silken hairs remain, indicating that the
life of the bulb is not extinct. About
two-thirds of these cases can have their
hair restored by pro.er treatment. The
other cases w here no protrusion- through
the por."S of the scalp cut be seen, and
fine hairs are not visible, are hopeless.
If a man is tints actually bald, there is
no power on earth that can produce
hitir, anil it is foolish to spend money on
nostrums. -V. Y. JAriV rtf Eiiiv.
Memory's Queer Caper.
I heard a story the other day about a
prominent church member who hadben
called on to lead a prayer-meeling. He
selected the subject of some preliminary
remark?, read an appropriate chapter
from the Bible, and started upon his dis
course. For five minutes he spoke
smoothly, fluently, and aptly, and then,
all of a sudden, by some queer caper of
mind, he forgot not only the thread of
his discourse, but tiie subject itself. He
paused to collect his thoughts, but they
would not be collected. Thea he beck
oned to a worthy brother in the front
pew. When the brother came the ?ieak
er whispered this inquiry iu his ear:
" Do you remember w hat I have been
talking, about?"
"Hey ! " exclaimed the worthy brother,
fie evidently thought the speaker was
accusing him of a lack of attention.
"Do you know the subject I was
speaking on V"
" No, I do not," said the worthy broth
er, scratching his head in a terplexed
way.
Here was a pickel, sure enough. Then
the leader of the meeting called another
member upau 1 ma le the sam.: inquiry.
Bet this member wa as ignorant of the
matter as the first one, and the speaker,
in lifr'j-eration, renewed his remarks,
touching on au entirely different line of
thought, as he afterwards rem-'tnbered.
His audience never knew the diflerence,
as be took pains to inquire.
. -o-
A man down in Atlanta, Gj., carries
two Irish potatoes with him all the time.
He has a reason for it, too, and bete it is
in bis ow n langunge ; "Irish potatoes
carried in the ixickets cure kidney
troubles and relieve rheumatism. I did
not believe it until an old pent!emnn at
Marietta insl-ted on my Irving the rem
edy and I have found it most eliirgirious.
It relieved me of lumbago, and I carry
one in each pocket now as a preventa
tive. Mr. and Mrs. Lair, of Kentucky, have
seven sons. Mr. Lair is G feet 2 inches
tall anil Mrs. Lair isli feet 3 inches. The
largest son is 0 feet S inches ; tne small
est is f feet j inches. if the odiers two
are 6 feet tV. inches, two are 6 feet l"
inches, and two are fi feet 7 it ches. It
requires a good strong derrick to remove
their "lares and penates,"
A Deadly Plaything.
New York .wn .- " There wjs an ex
plosion of nitro g'ytvr.ne in the oil re
gions one that has always lieen lo-ike l
upon oneof the many mysterious hap
wnn:n.r of that country ," said J. C.
Henry, one of tbe early pper.;tr in
nanco county. "1 nau.-e pecp!e won'.!
:ieer believe what 1 told thco aimut it
and the way it came to ec i;r. My ex
planation of it was the truth, though,
aud, I am the only jierson who actually
kn.ws that the expl.wion w as not of any
mysterious origin. It was the result of
one of the most curious incidents that
ever came to pass i a that curious coun
try. "I think it was iu'O. th it RiberHthe
torpedo man, first demonstrated the
utility of his nitro-glycerins torpedoes
for shooting oil-wells afterthey had been
drilled. Soon after they came into use I
bad put down a well in one of the wild
est parts of the region, and any one w ho
was ever in that section of the 'late at
that time has some idea of what that
means. Nitroglycerine, Wing a new
tiling, people hadn't got used to handling
it yet, and but few safegu.ir.U had Ix-eti
thrown around the carry in an I storing
of tiie deadly stuff. We all knew- that it
was apt to go off on very slight provoca
tion sometimes, and it was toing off
every day, here and there about the re
gion, and wiping folks off the face of the
earth as completely as if they never had
been on it
" We struck the sand in my well along
toward the evening of Jii!y:.l. There
was a good showing for oil, and all it
wanted was a g k1 shot of nitro glyrer
ine. I had ordered a supply of the stuff
and it was to have been at the well that
day, but didn't come. The next day be
ing the Fourth, and niy men having made
arrangements for celebrating so iiewhere
down along the creek, we concluded to
sustiend operations until the "ith. I had
no idea the nitro-glycerine would be de
livered on the Fourth. I rem lined at the
we'd that day, and to my surprise the
teamster came in with a big can of the
explosive. I didn't care to have it round,
and wanted him to take it back and
t'.ayue with it the next day; but he
wouldn't do 't, and placed it ou the der
rick floor.
"I made up my mind to getaway from
there as soon as I could. Tiie wood were
full of wild animals still, and scarcely a
day passed that bear and wild cats were
not seen prow ling around. I stepped in
to the derrick to get my coat, and while
I was there I heard a noise in the brush,
and looking out saw two big bears slouch
ing along right toward the derrick. I
wasn't used to bear, and without waiting
to think much about it, being pretty well
frightened, I sprang for the ladder and
climbed up into the derrick, and got on
a twain twenty feet or so above the floor
to wait for the unwelcome visitors to go
on about their business. It seemed
though that they had made np their
minds that their business required them
to make an investigation of the premises,
and they came right on and shambled in
on the derrick Ihair. They n.wc.l around
among the machinery, dangled the ropes
and clattered about generally. They
didn't appear to lie in any hurry at all
and I bogan to get uneasy.
"But if I was uneasy over their f.niling
around among the machinery what do
you suppose niy feelings were when the
bright tin can containing the nitro-glycerine
caught the eyes of the bears, and
they began to push and roll it about on
the floor? The perspiration rolled off
me in great beads, and I actually le!iev
eil that I could feel my hair turning
w hite. I didn't know w hat minute the
bears would thump the can against some
thing hard enaugh to explode it. What
the result of such a catastrophe would
have been it isn't necessary to hint at.
But all the while the bears were having
great fun with the can. By and by one
of the lieasts lifted it in one of his paws
and rose upon his hind feet, holding the
can at arm's length fully six feet from
the floor. All he had to do was to drop
it, and all that my men would have
found when thev came back next day
wauld have leen a big hole in the
ground. As the lsvar stood there holding
that can of death his companion rose up
on his hind feet two or three yards away
and gazed at him in an expectant sort of
way. I had often heard that bears
amused themselves in melon patches in
playing catch with one another by
chucking a melon to and fro between
them. I made tip my mind that the
two liears were about to have a li'.tle di
version of that kind with that can of
nitro-glyeerine. I shut my eyes and
waited for the climax that would surely
follow. It didn't nunt! arid I looked
dow n again and found that the liears had
changed their minds atsiut the game of
catch and were rolling the can about on
the floor again.
"By and by a new idea seemed tostrike
the pair. A hundred yards or so from
the derrick there was a rocky ravine.
One of the liears rolled the can out of the
derrick, and both of them began to scram
ble with it on the ground, competing
with one another in giving it impetus
over the rough surface in the direction of
the ravine. At every shove the can was
liable to be sent flying aicainst some one
of the many big stones that lay thic't on
the gro.ind, but by some good fortune it
missed them every time, and at last the
betrs had jostled it along almost to the
ravine. I waa so weak and trembling
from the fearful su-qen! I had been su!
jected to that I could hardly keep my
hold on the perch? I regarded the dan
ger as practically over now, and was put
ting myself together to get down from
there ami take to the woods, when I saw
one of the bears rear up on his haunches
w ith the nitro-glycerine can in his jaws.
He stood close to a big rock. He raised
the can alxive tiis head, and I saw at
once that he made up his mind to find
out what there was in that can, anyhow.
I threw my arms and leg around the
beam and hung on f r dear life. The
ls?ar burled the can aif-iinst the rock.
There was a sound as of -0 cla of thun
der rolled into one. The earth shook,
and my derrick swayed and rattled.
There was a shower of rock and trees and
dirt for acres around. When that ceased
everything was as still in the tomb.
Down where the bear st-ysl there w as a
yaw ning gulf, I got down somehow from
my perch on the derrick and made my
way to the scene of the explosion.
Amony all of the debris it had scattered
about there wasn't any more trace of
bear than if they had been s ; ii liiles
that bad hurst. The explosion was heard
for milef, but -op!e laughed when I at
tempted to explain it, ami to this day
they persist in calling it a profound mys
tery. "
Here is a pretty stiff story aUmt an
English sparrow: A Boston small tsiv
recently gave some sparrows a very bard
cracker, on which they conld make n
impression. After picking at it in vain
for a while, one of the sparrows took the
cracker in his bill, and flying with it to
the horse car track, carefully laid it on a
rail. Then all the sparrows waited until
a car came along and crushed it, when
they flew to the spot in great glee and
ate the pieces.
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