The Somerset herald. (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, June 06, 1888, Image 1

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    iCmcrset Herald.
. .urn ttrt. .
publication.
iTe " HT omng - -
td. Partita, DC!"
J-fMp . , ,.v out their
snbscrinei-uw
-"""ts. 6oMt HsaU,
i.
m ' rwnnn -
OS'
i- thkNT. ....
--fL2L2:
wfflM -'""u"u;
2" u. BurTEL.
H'- . '
.
j . , .11 hiu-lw cntnited to bis care
frill,!2'l,M . EgTntie-, with prompt
hS"T7?,'",f.v J on Mam Street,
" U C COLBOBJt.
An-KNKV.ATLAW.
Mint and Pension Agent. Office in iluniuoth
Ri'k. ' ; '
taLfatif. hay,
ii- Ts-Jcrin Rlfctte. Will attend to all
ere with promptness
uhJ sdeluy. ;
Will pr.tr"T sn-wl u. .11 hu-wws "j.-1
rivais-ed on collecuous, &c. Of
let ifi Nsmmoili Hss-k.
DR. F A I'.IIOADS.
WW AND H-WSKOS.
N internet. P.
0-T.ne in wriflwre next to tuthorwa Cbun-h.
D
,R. 1. E. 1SIESF.I KER,
pht!as and srnoEcw.
Bomebsft, Pa.,
T!f W imfwil senices to therttJaros of
dnB!Wt.iU virimijr. ofl.ee in Bitwker
tavder inwt ort.
R. IL S. KIMMELL,
. j i. ..r vrrirm to the "lt1jTM
f tcmrr aiHt vt. iimv- pB.fjlinllT
nrpd tw mn be kaui t h ottict: on Mull SL,
iWt riAlDltl4.
iR.II. BRl'BAKEK,
T ,m nd TK-iniiy. (itlicttB rwiaeDCton
Kiin mm wt of Diiniimd.
Dn. j. m. i.htt:er.
rinslCUS AND KGEOS.
H Imttwl permaiMTit'r In Someme for the
rnire i bit .rifion. ti on Wain Wreet,
nu of Imis wore.
DR. J.S. M'MIM.EX,
ItiradwDr m Dntkllry,)
GiTfli nnTial Mtrntlon to the prrsrvatiou of
UW nutirkl Uh. Artifirml Inserted. All
muni riar:l tfotnry. ofliee In the
biM M.Tixtwcll Co.' sv. coruer
Umn Cluv ibd Patriot Mret'tL
DR.JOUS BILLS,
DENTIST.
OSre UKtiin in Cook & BeeritK Block.
DR.WM. GOLLIXS.
DKSTWT.
tflwr hi KnerrfT'i W'-k no-ctRir. where be
rra l fid at aii rlmw prein-4l to do ail kinda
nrt an SUirtc. rvutatinc. extractinit,
r. AnitiHal ree'.b of all kind and of the Ixwt
Biaiena! ioarned. AU work guaranteed.
R-J. K. MILLEB
Ha jiermaw-iith; loratrd In Berlin for the prar
"hn pfBMiu, Office opposite Cliark
Somerset Countv Bank.
C. J.RARRISOS. m. j. pp.itts,
FtfeiDtirr. CAMtrEK.
fo!leetn made in all part or the fnited 9Uiea.
CHARGES MODERATE.
rVltr. whthinit to nl moner Wn4 ean he ac
JwnnaQ In dn,ft im i( w York in anr mm.
u"ii(8indei;h fromi'lnew. v. H. Bonds
lrttnn m.-A. S4,wv and valuable wrar-ej
! ? e-Wffil aafea, with a har-
r-oi i tr tin lock.
SCUCITZD.
CURTIS K. GROVE.
SOMERSET, PA.
BrGGIES. SIXKinS, CAP.MAGFJ".
fPRISG AM.NS. BtVK WAGONS.
AND EAfiTERX AND WEhTEUX WuRK
Furnuhed on Short Notice,
Tainting Done on Bhort Time
ano tbr hlramd ,w. (inl-tantil
UjMmrwi KmO Flni.hl. aud
arraiul to jn timxutm tim.
Cl7 RatCaa Vsrrbaca.
All Work Warranted.
1 134 IB,,ne KT nd team PrVe.
aw-ork, aad tomb Scire, for Wind
fc9t.ke,4iitB.
CURTIS K. GROVE,
- t of Coon Borne)
KOMKWHT. PA
QHiliUS HOFFMAS," " -
MERC1LANT TAILOR.
(Ahore Heffleyi Store.)
Ut 8tn-. na Iwe( TVioe,..
Tl6FACT.ON GUARANTEED.
Somerset, Pa.
rri
i t
r m
VOL. XXX VI. NO. 50.
No One Need
j . REMAIN j ; : ;)
A Dyspeptic.
I have been sofiVring for over
two yore with lH-aieptua.
For the 14 year I could not
lake a drink of raid water or
eat any meat without vomit
irp it uj. My life whb a mis
ery. I had recommended
Simmons Uver Ketrulator,of
which I am now taking the
. second bottle, and the fart in
that, words cannot express
' . tiie relief I feeL My appe- . '
tite hs very gobd, and I dj-
Rest everything thoroughly. .
1 sleep well now, and I used
to be very restless. I am
fleshing up last ; roo1 strong
food and Simmons Liver-' ; r
Itojrtilator did it all. I write
this in hotes of benefitting
some one who lum suffered
its I did, and would take oath
to these statement? if so de
sired. E. S. Balixm-, Syracuse, Keb.
With thel; cnt of
WARM WEATHER
Ifcst Ccri9 a Change from Heavy to
im and lictit-Wt
UNDERWEAR
OUR STOCK CONTAINS EVERY REQ
UISITE TO MEET THE WANTS OF
ALL I N
LOW PRICED MEDIUM
' i AM) ;; ;;
FNIEST QUALITIES
Fcr 2a lies, Ccall CHldres, E:ys
Gentlemen and adies in. Spring
H:rino Gsssimer, Gatise, Bal
, : trigans, Swiss- Eibbed '
Lisle Thread and
. ...
Very best Values Guaranteed.
Give our Underwear Depart
ments a Call.
HORNE & WARD,
FIFTfl AVE.." PITrSBl'B'iH. PA.
It is to Your Interest
TO Bt'V YOIR
Drugs and Medicines
BlESECKER "4 SNYDER.
btcteshobs to c. x. bovd.
Xone Lut tle purest and bo kej in Ux-k,
and when Prupi beoonie inert by stand
ing, as certain of them do, we de
stroy them, rather than im
jioae on our customer.
You can depend on having your
PRESCRIPTIONS & FAMILY RECEIPTS
filled with care. Our prices are a low as
any other first-class house and on
' many articles much lower.
The jwople of this county seem to know
this, and have given us a large share of their
patronage, and we glial! etill continue to give
them the very best goods tr their money.
I k not ibrpet that we make a specialty of
TITTINO TRUSSES.
We piarantee ttifiiction, and, if you have
had trouble in this direction,
give us a call.
SPECTACLES AND EYE-GLASSES
in prut variety; A full set of Test Lenses.
Come in and have your eyes eaamined. J'o
charge for examination, and we are confident
we can suit you. Come and see us.
Bcspectfully,
BlESECKER & SNYDER.
GEORGE J. pOffJW,
AKt rACTt KB OS
BUGGY TOPS, CUSHIONS, APRONS
RUGS, ETC., FOR THE TRADE.
THE OXLT SrKCIALTfiT.
58 as CO AXDEItSOS STREET,
ALLEGIIEST VITT, PA.
Write Sir descriptive eatakru. .
T-IT1 T"SEA WONDERS e
I I. I, J M is trHxiMOda of lonoa,
I I P P r but are wirpawd hv the
I 3 I i I J I narreloof invention. Thow
mlioare lu need of profitable ork that can he
kme while lirinr at borne ahould at once -Dd
their addreac to Hallett A Co.. Ivmlaiid Maine,
and reevive freev full information bow either
wi of ail ac. can earn from t5 to t'A perMay
atMt iivwaro. nnmTiRf7 nr. '
el frvc. Capital not resoired. Home hate mart e
over aov im m mmn" 7' -- '
eecd. Janll-'Sa-lTT.
E
XIX'UTOR'S SOTICE.
KvUta of fiiwan Siauffer. dee'd.. late of SalltbtUT
IMiroorO' rwimwr
I-cttem teimentarr on Mie above
havinit been rnuited to Uia nndemitrned 07 tbs
nnitxT antboritT, notice is herehy Kven to all
i-rsnn itdctied to mid eptaietcmak immedi
ate Mtmfiil. and ttwe havlwr elakm. UIbi
Uie mat to ptwrot them duly aotheuUcaU' for
H-ulrtncnt on Hatnrdav, the Itlb day of Jnne.
l-v at the rendrM Lyman StoOer, IS aaid
Tt.v. MAETIX S. rTAfFFER.
-i Attorney. Eieeator.
niAIH REWARDED are tlioaa
IXIOIIIaT notes dthiaaJMl thee art:
Urv will rind h.ral)!eeinpliynK-Bt that iU
not uke them from their home, and femtliea.
The pnrfiia are larfre and am lor evy lndurt
ant nePMHi ; many Bare made and arc r-iw mac
hiK weral bnndred dollars a aauBth- ' rmfT
for aiiv one to aaake and upward per ot wbo
It willlna to work. Euber aea. youac 01 srtd ;
eaiiiul sot needed ! start you. ereryOiin
e : bo apei tal ahility reoiiired young old ;
rmadoitasa-cllaaanyon. Write to n atone
foe fall nartieqlaix whW-h we BMU1
rnisasa Oo Portland. Ma. . Jan 11 s-yT. .
PENSION: AGENCY,
. SOL. UHL,
tniH aothoriBs! by the Gorernmesxt.
BaeTaBaOi'ilaira.taBisnet.lw.. aaril
e
AN OLD SWEETHEART OF
" MINE. - -
At one wbo cona at evening o'er an albtua all
alone
And mine on the faoej of the friends that be hai
know.
80 1 tarn the leaeet of kner till in shadowy da
ura
I tad tdeamiUnfleaiurasof anM aweetheart of
mine. ,.
The laraplurht acaa
aurpriiie
Ai I turn it low to
tOfUmmer with a Bicker of
Kat me of the datile in my
yea, -...
And I UVht my pine In silence., Mve a Uh that
' seemt-d to yoke "
Itv fate tth my tobacco and to vanish In the
- smoke.
'Tis a fragrant retrospection fir the lm'jj
tnouhut that start
Into being are Uke nerftimai from the Monoaw Jf
the heart ;
And lo dream the old dreamt aver la a luxury
divine.
When my truant fancy wanders with that old
sweetheart of mine.
Though I hear, beneath my study, like a flutter
ing of wings.
The voice of my children and the mother as she
sineV ' '
I feel ao twinge at conscience to deny me any
theme t i
Wfen 'are has cast her anchor in the harbor of a
dream.
In (net, to speak In earnest, I believe It adds a
charm
To spice she good a trifle with a little dust of
harm
For I find an extra flavor in memorle's mellow
vine
That makes me drink the deeper to that old tweet
heart of mine.
A face of lily beauty and a fiirm of airy grace
Floats out of my tobacco as the genii from the
vase;
And I thrill beneath the glances of a pair of autre
. eTts
As glowing as the summer and as tender as the
skies.
I can see the pink sunoonnet and the little check
ered dress
She wore when first I kined her and she answered
the earess
With the written declaration that, as surely at
the vine
Grew 'rouud the stump, she loved me "that old
sweetheart of mine.
And again I feel the pressure of her slender little
luuid
As w e used to talk together of the future we had
planned
When I hould be a poet, and with nothing else to
do
But lo write the tender verses that she set the
music to. '
When we should live together In a rosy little cut
Hid in a ix-t of roea, with a tiny garden spot.
Where the vines were fruitful and the weather
ever fine
And the bin Is were ever singing for that old sweet
, heart of mine.
When I should be her lover forever and a day,
Aud he my faithful sweetheart till the golden hair
wai gray ;
Aud we should be so happy that when eltber's
Hps were dumb
Tbey ahould not smile In Heaven till the other's
kiss had eoroc.
But, ah ! my dreaa is broken by a step upon the
" stair.
And the door Is softly opemd, at 4 -my wile Is
standing there.
Yet with eagerness and rapture all my vlions I re-
sign ... ...... - .-- --'-r
To meet the living presence of that old sweetheart
of mine. Jimm M' itc m i Jtilry
PETER PERKINS' DREAM.
BY EMILV ARriirR.
these, my children, ye have dune it uulo Ba.
" There is that ham. it is ioo old to sell.
and this barrel of dried apples, and a
barrel of meal and one of flour, which
are both a little moldy, bat still good
enough to give to the poor, and that half
barrel of sugar that the kerosene was
spilt in, and those two sacks of rice that
has weevils, and you might add all that
stale bread. They will make good
showing, and I guess my name will head
the list, for nobody else would give that
much. These things yon can set aside,
Mark, and to-morrow I want them car
ried round to the society ' rooms with
my compliments. Aha! This will help
manv a poor family to enjoy a good
Christinas dinner, and will help me w ith
my customers. Everybody likes a gen
erous man, but few of the brethren will
make as good a display as I shall to-mor
row. I guess 1 11 go Dome now, jiarg,
and, ah, here are 1 for your Christmas.
I cant afTord more. You know business
is slack. Well, good night.'
And wizened old Peter Terkins got
into his old overcoat and went home
through the streets where the snow lay
thick and heavy, until he reached bis
comfortable-looking three-slory house.
After he rang the bell be muttered to
himself: '
" I micht just as well have only given
Mark instead of $2. He'd aTjeen just
as thankful, and I'd a'saved that much.
And all those things there why, I could
have sold them at a discount, but then,
after all, I was losing ground in church
custom by what Ihey call my stinginess,
and now, well, I guess after all I'm glad
I gave them. The poor who get them
can't complain. Oh, here she comes at
last ! And she will expect a present, too !
It seems as if everybody was beset Christ
mas time. I'm getting very sick of it.
lur
At this instant Mrs. Warner, who was
servant and housekeeper both, opened
the dwr, her rather long face wreathed
in smites and her form dressed in her
best black silk gown. Peter Perkins was
astonished and surprised as she led the
way to the dining-room, where the old
man's dinner was laid, for on the table
smoked a splendid turkey, while several
other dainty and toothsome dishes stood
about, among them a noble mince pie
that gave out mellow, luscious odor
that mortal could riot withstand, and yet
be turned, saying fiercely : ., ' '
" Mary Warner ! Who gav yoo author
ity to io this? "Why, here is ;dinner
enough for tweaty, and such eatrava
g.ince ! I told you this morning I didn't
believe in holiday-Ttonaeiiae, and I told
you to cook balf a mackerel and a potato
didntir: , ! ; ;
- You did, air, and I Was going to do it,
only this morning my sister in the coun
try sent me a box aad these were in it,
and as I couldn't eat them all myself I
made bold to offer you half, sir, and no
ofleru I Iwrptr. -J A.4
"CA, welUttisstaiSa thecal WI,
jh I dTVtea if.1 vVf1 1
hiWJris E nto V ' V ' hed
forward,; and tbe .a a short
time bad eaten a moU excellent dinner,
which ht fiWsl wi'A - lden
do-v-nat sal " : tl W I i took
thee as l a f tau, u4 hi ac5i Stand,
and made alternate the tf dontinut
anf cteeeetn awfciad rtfrapect
ive manner as be thought :
Why don't city fblki learn to make
cruller like this T For low nor money
yon eouJdnt boy anytilng Uke &ia In
all this great city. Tley tiiejoctaa my
SOMERSET, PA., WEDNESDAY,
mother used to make them. Her tin
cruller bos waa never empty, and how
good they were ; the older they were the
mellower and better they were. I . re
member she used to make me a boy and
a mouse e very time she fried crullers and
always two Ps for my letters, and ahe
put caraway seed all over mine. ' I won
der how she did it T That mince pie waa
good. I think I will take another piece.
It hain't cost anything and it makes me
think of old times."
- And so the miserly old man sat and ate
until his usual bedtime came, when he
lit his candle, for be never would have
gas, and went to bed.
Scarcely bad be got warm and com
fortable when he saw standing by his
bedside a stranger whose face was care
fully turned away, and who wore a long,
loose garment of some nnknown fashion,
and instinctively Peter Perkins put bis
hand under his pillow after bis revolver,
thinking of robbers, but tbe stranger said
iu a low voice, which yet baa each au
thority in it that the wretched man dared
not disobey :
" Arise, dress yourself, and follow
mo."
As in a dream the little miser followed
but they went so swiftly that be coul 1
not see where they were going, until at
last the stranger said : "
" Open your eyes and tell me what
you see."
Peter Perkins stood and gazed with
his wizened face pale and frightened.
He seemed to be in a vast place, so vast
that it appeared to be visible illimitable
sjiace. There was no beginning nor end
to anywhere, and yet he was there in the
midst of this infinity of distance,, and be
fore him upon nothing stood great tables
upon which was piled a heterogeneous
collection of everything imaginable, and
while he was trying to understand this
confusion, he noticed that there had ap
peared, rank on rank and file on file, Iim
itlesi, countless numbers of cherubim and
seiaphiin.and in the midst of this throng
sat upon a crystal throne Christ, the be
nign, the loving, the pitiful, and his fea
tures seemed to exude sweetness and
niercy from every lineament, and his
smile was ineffably tender.
The cherubim and seraphim sang
"Glory, glory, to God in the highest and
on earth peace and good will to men,'
and as Peter Perkins watched this beau
tiful countenance be saw its expression
change. Sometimes it became that of a
little child, sweet and infantine, again it
was tender and pitiful, then it looked as
it must have done when he said, "Come
to me, all ye weary and heavy laden,'
then it was filled full of sorrow and mer
ciful goodness, and then it grew stern and
awfuL
Then Peter Perkins noticed that there
was a throng ever increasing; and reaching
far below them so that the end of them
was far out of sight, and these people
came singly tort he foot of the Savior and
there laid a gift which was instantly ta
ken by the angels and laid upon a pairof
scales, which did not measure by the
weight of the gift itself, but tbe motive
which lay like a living heart inside of
it. ; .: ; . , - - , ...
Then Peter Perkins saw that all who
had not yet offered their gifts had a bur
den to carry, large or small, and he sud
denly became aware that the burden fas
tened upon bis own back was enormous
and was very heavy. But he turned to
the stranger and said : "When will it be
my turn?"
' " When all of these shall have passed."
And be had to stand there with the
great unknown weight upon his shoulders
for long hours, or days, or years, be did
not know which, while all these people
came by.
lie noticed a man who staggered by
and laid a heavy weight of gold chalices
and church candlesticks and other em
blems at his fjset, and Peter Perking saw
with surprise that they flew up in the
balance as if of air. Another offered a
church, which was aa so much paper,
and then a poor old woman in rags stag
gered along with a cup of cold water as
her only offering. This sent tbe scales
down, down, as if it weighed a ton, and
then a pale, thin man came and offered
only a tear. This, too, weighed heavier
than gold. Sometimes an old broken
toy, or some old, worn garments, or even
a crust of bread was laid at his feet, and
these, too, were very heavy on those
wonderful scales.
Peter Perkins noticed, too, that those
whose gifts were light disappeared from
view, and be watched until he saw them
fall into space and fade away in distance,
while the angels sent pitying glances af
ter them.
Suddenly the Saviour said :
"Now, Peter Perkins, what gift have
you brought to the Lord on this his
birthday r . .
"Oh! I am willing to give you alt I
have, but this bundle upon my back was
not intended for yon, but for the poor.
If you will let me go back I will return
with something more worthy of you."
" But what have you in that bundle?"
" Only some flour, and meal, and sugar,
and ham, and rice, which are not quite
fresh and good, but I thought they would
do for the poor" .
"And hare yoo never heard of my
words, when I aaid : 'Inasmuch as ye do
it unto the least of these, my children,
ye do if unto me 7 Look, that cup of
water was given by a sick and suffering
woman to one who suffered worse. That
holy tear was given from a pure heart
that had nothing else to offer, but you,
out of your abundance, offer only that
which is unfit for food, and in offering
that to the unfortunate poor you have
offered it to me."
" I did not know ! Oh, please let me
go back and I will do differently"
"Alas! you have lived your life, and
you must, like all that throng yon have
seen, take your deeds with you to plead
for or against yon. You can return no
more than they. AU men bring their
passports of good or evil actions with
them here, and once they have come
naught can change. Tbey most bear
their fate. Some of them did not know
bat you had a mother who taught yon
aright, hot yoo forgot her words of wis
dom or pot them aside. So, now, go
vosr way."
And with these words Peter Perkins
felt himself fall ing info perdition, weight
ed down by the mouldy flour and spoiled
bread aad sugar. Down, down he went,
faster than many others wbo were on the
way, and lie cried oat in his agony of
fear, when sodden ly with that cry he
awoke and sat up in bed. This tbea had
EST A TtT.TfTFniTD
1C37.
been a dream! Bat it had opened his
eyes, and. he began to see things as be
never had done before. He remembered
his mother's teachings, and .he slept no
more that night. Bnt as soon as daylight
dawned he dressed and went to the store
where poor, faithful Mark, who bad
slaved ten years for him, waa packing
those wretched things into tbe wagon.
" Mark," aaid be, " throw all that staff
away and take double the aatount of the
best, and Uke poultry and fruit and tea
and coffee and bread and sugar and but
ter, yes,' and anything else 'yon fancy,
and make them np into separate parcel
and give one good, generous basketful to
every poor family yon know Yes, Mark,
and then, if your mother is able to bear
it, take her in a carriage and come down
to my house this evening to dinner, and
we will discuss our new sign with Per
kins and Hancock on it Yes, God bleat
us 1 Ob, no, I'm not craxy 1 I've jost
come to tny iuwb," and he hurried
home and astonished Mrs. Warner by a
crisp note for $50 and ordered a dinner
which would have staggered her if she
had not had so good a beginning from
her sister's farm. ,
Ten years have passed since that time.
Peter Perkins is a round, happy man. To
see his jolly, benign face (low at you
from over his counter makes you invol
untarily look round for the other Cheery
ble brother; and now if he was called
be would not go empty-handed before
his Lord and Saviour. '
A Review by Bonfire Light
. A little before noon on 7th of April
ISoo, Gen. Grant, with his staff, rode into
the little ville of Farmville, on tbe south
side of the Appomattox river, a town
which will be memorable as the place
'in which he opened tbe correspondence
with Lee which led to the' surrender of
the Army of Northern Virginia.
' He drew up in front of the village
hotel, dismounted and established head
quarters on its broad piazza. News came
in that Crook was fighting large odds
with his calvary on the north side of the
river, and I was directed to go to his front
and see what was neccessary to be done
to assist him. I found that fee was being
driven back and the enemy was making
a boid stand north of the river. Hum
phreys was also on the north side isolated
from the rest of our infantry,' confronted
by a large portion of Lee's' army, and
having some very heavy fighting. On
my return to general headquarters that
night, Wright's corps was ordered tq cross
the river and move rapidly to tbe sup
port of our troops there. Notwithstand
ing their long march that day, the men
sprang to their feet with a spirit that
made every one marvel at their pluck,
and came swinging through the main
street of the village, with a step that
seemed as elastic as on tbe first day of
their toilsome tramp. It was now dark
but they ftpfed the gewhT-lhehlef watch
ing them with evident pride from the
piazza of the hotel.
Then was witnessed one of the most
inspiring scenes of the campaign. Bon
fires were lighted on tbe sides of tbe
street, the men seized straw and pine
knots, and improvised torches. Cheers
arose from throats already hoarse with
bouts of victory, bands played, banners
waved, arms were tossed high in air and
caught again. The night march had be
come a grand review, with Grant as the
reviewing officer. " Granft Lnii Cam
paign " in The Century.
How to be Healthy and Wealthy.
Dont worry.
"Seek peace and pursue it." ;
Be cheerful. "A light heart lives
long.
Never despair. ' Lost hope is a fatal
disease,"
' Work like a man, but don't be work
ed to death.
Spend less nervous energy each day
than yon make.
Dont hurry. "Too swift arrives as
tardy as too slow."
Sleep and rest abundantly. Sleep is
nature's benediction. , -
. Avoid passion add excitement, A
moment's anger may be fatal.
Associate with healthy people. Health
is contagious as well as disease.
Don't worry. Dont starve. " Let your
moderation be known to nil men."
Court the fresh air day and night.
" Oh, if you knew what was in the air!
Think only healthful thoughts "Asa
man thinketh in his heart, so is he." '
Grammar Was His Strong Point,
Justice of the Peace Have you ever
saw this man before ?
Witness Yes. -.-
" Had be came before you went?"
"No." - ' -
" Is them your eggs what yon say was
stole?"
' "Yes," "
" Would yon have recognized them if
you bad seen them before tbey was
brought here?"
" Yes ; I would have knowed them."
"Speak grain ma tic, young man I It
ain't proper to say 'have knowed; you
should say 'bare knew.' " PhiUuielphia
Call. - .
It is a Curious Fact.
That the body ia now more susceptible to
benefit from medicine than at any other
season. Hence the importance of taking
Hood's Barsaparilla now, when it will do
you the most good. It is really wonder
ful four purifying and enriching the blood
creating an appetite, and giving a healthy
tone to the whole system. Be sure to get
Hood's Sarsaparilla, which is peculiar to
itself.
From the Pastor of the Olivet Baptist
Church, .'Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
"I waa so much troubled with catarrh it
seriously affected my voice. One bottle
of Ely's Cream Balm serkmsljr affected
my voice. One battle of Ely's Cream
Balm did the work. My voice is fully
reatored-B. F. Liepsoer. -
The amount of liquors consumed for
thirteen years in the United States, from
I860 to 1872, inclusive, was J,00O,752,0fW
gallons. Tbe cost to the consumer was
$8,790,181,805. ' If pot in wagons ten
barrels to the wagon they would ex
tend 45,509 miles, nearly twice around
tbe earth, or half to the moon.
Tbe golden beams of truth and the silk
en cords of love, twisted toother will
draw men on with a sweat violence
whether tiejr will or ot ; -
JUXE 6, 1888.
One of His Own Books.
Yesterday I had a personal conflict of
bitter and acrimonious nature with an
nnknown person on my grounds at Staten
Island. I desire to speak of it myself
rather than have the matter go into tbe
papers in a garbled state. '
'1 live in a quiet portion of the island,
just within sight of the produce ex change
tower, just beyond reach of the night air
of New York. Here we have civilization
on one bad, and the wild whoop of Buf
falo Bill's savages on the other. Just near
enough to make it exciting. . :
I did not think I would be annoyed
here by peddlers, beggars and fakirs.
Yesterday a plain sad man rang tbe door
bell. He told my representative that he
desired very much to meet me, and pre
sented his card. The name was not
familiar to me, bnt I put on my other
coat and invited hint into the cold, cold
parlor to which I invite people wh j do
not cdbie highly indorsed.
He was rather quiet and sad In spots.
I sympathized with him, for I know what
it is to be sad.
He had a letter of introduction, he said
from a well-known literatner and con
frere of mine, which he begged leave to
present, I read it. It introduced the
bearer in the usual form and begged me
to treat him kindly, and stated that any
favor shown to him would be gladly re
ciprocated. I then told tbe stranger that
we had a pieasanter room than tlut, and
I would be glad to have him come in
and sample it
" Now," said I, touch ing an electric bell
and ordering a large watermelon, " whaf
can I do for yon ? Would you like to
yisit the woman's exchange, or would
you rather give yourself np to an Rfter
noon with me at Vanderbilt's tomb?"
He said that be did not wish to take
up my time. He had only called on a
matter of business, and would detain me
bnt a moment. He then drew from its
concealment somewhere about bis person
the prospectus for a subscription, book,
and before I co.ild stop him, had said :
" We purpose in this work to treat of
everything that people want to know
about. It has statistics in it, but they
are so presented that you like them. You
read along down the long columns with
the keenest enjoyment There is a thread
of interest running through these tabula
ted statements which makes you sit up
till after 9 o'clock reading them. All the
book is socked full of interest and thrill,
and yet it would not harm any one to
read it That is not all. It is reliable.
Every re uark in it is backed np by
statements. It comes just at a time when
every one is doubting the authorship of
other books and gives to one and all a
feeling of confidence and assurance when
faith is wavering and the reader is grop
ing and clutching for something tangible
and stable. This is essentially a stable
book. , It tells how to break coltsbow to
treat cribbers, botts, and army worms,
how to bring np children and put down
huckleberries, how to treat a setting hen
during convalescence, how to make a
cook stove or a cistern pump draw, how
to, write for tbe papers, how to keep ants
out of the pantry, bow to make parents
self-supporting, how to purify politics or
make floating island, bow to modify tbe
tariff or make a good, durable style of
pork-brine that will not smell like a de
cayed autopsy in dog days ; how to make
molasses candy or speak a piece, how to
tell by a pig's meat in the fall whether
we are going to have an open winter or
not, how to bank up a house, bow to win
the affection of the opposite sex, how to
meet an emergency, how to make ink at
home which will speak for itself, how to
dye a dress black, bow to remove laven
der pantaloons from fruit stains; how to
sew up a man who lias tried to run a
colored german, hints on ben culture,
bints on voice culture, hints on marriage,
farming, revivals, etiquet; how to make
a good, palatable poultice ; what to do in
case of drowning, how to make one dande
lion root serve as a foundation for a gal
Ion of bitters every spring for 10 years,
how to amass wealth and dodge tbe
grand jury, how to snare a grizzly bear.
In fact, everything you want to know,
told in a pleasant style, for 3.50."
It was at this time that the personal
encounter took place. I am not a mus
cular man, but my arms and legs extend
in every direction when I am excited
They are longer and more lithe than
those of the average man. An artist from
Munich once told me that he thought I
was the limbiest man he ever saw, and
he bad seen a great many men.
I did not permanently disfigure this
person, but I jolted him severely and
contused and concussed him in three or
four places, after which he went away.
After be had gone I became more calm
I retired to my dressing room, where my
valet turned my cuffs for me. I then re
turned to the parlor. It had been left
there by mistake. I was cooler.- I took
it tip and read the name of the author on
the title gage. It was as follows :
Bill Nye.
A Resturant Cashier and how
: he made a slight Mistake.
"Urn! Yesl Singular!" he said as he
stood at the cashier's desk in the restau-
ant and felt in his pockets.
"Been robbed, I suppose?" sneered
the cashier. -
" Perhaps. Let's see. Did I change my
pantaloons?". -"Oh,
of course."
" I guess I did, and left all my money
in the other pair."
"Say, that's too old to go down here,
mister I want 60 cents ! "
" Yes yes, but you see "
" I see a dead beat who'll get a good
kicking if he doesn't hand over the
cash!" . .
" Mercy ! but you don't take me for a
deadbeat, I hope?"
"Sixty cents!"
" But, I've left my money "
"Sixty cents or you get the bounce!
''Ill go out and borrow it"
" Oh, no I Hand it over or the kicker
Will take chanre of yoo!" '
"Let's see. Did I change my clothes?
Yes, I did. But "
"No buta about it II want 60 cental
- "Bnt I must hare slipped some money
in my bind pocket Ah I so I did, and
here it ia."
And he fished np a great wad, tossed
tbe cashier a $50 bill, and while waiting
for his change shook hands with two
bankers and drew his check for $5,000 to
settle a real estate transaction.
Tbe cashier is still ia bed, and the doc
tor says it is a very serious case.
MB
ft
How it Happened.
"The past rises before me like a dream"
Such was the opening sentence of Colo
nel Robert G. Ingersoll's speech at In
dianapolis in 1876. Prior to that time he
bad placed in nomination the Hon. James
G. Blaine at Cincinnati. He was then
only a lawyer at Peoria and did not pos
sess) a national reputation. This speech
made him famous before he dreamed of
the "Mistakes of Moses" or thought he
would be noted as the "boss infidel"
. Perhaps, without exception, the 'rib
ute paid by Colonel Inifersoll to the sol
diers of that occasim is the most brilliant
piece of word-painting in the English
language. Some have claimed that the
words of Webster in reply to Hayn,of
South Carolina, have never been surpass
ed in terseness and 'eloquence, but act
ually there is hardly a comparison. The
speech of Webster was carefully prepared.
That of Ingereoll was on the occasion of a
soldiers' reunion. It was delivered to
soldiers from a little platform hastily con
structed on the eastern side of the "circle"
in that city. Just as he fairly opened his
mouth and before bis audience conld hear
a word a band from somewhere struck up
directly in the rear of the orator.
Laughingly he waited for the clangor
to subside and then remarked the music
of a country band always reminds me of
the Democratic party's, every bit sound
and no sense."
He then began his famous speech and
perhaps no man ever had more complete
influence over his hearers then did Inger
soil on that occasion. Mon and women
cried and we were not ashamed of what
might sometimes be called weakness.
There were signs of a storm and tattering
rain drops fell, but the multitude stood
entranced and spell-bound.
That speech has made Robert G. Inger
soll imperishable. It is published in ev
ery school-book and is declaimed from
every rostrum. Yet it only was by an
accident that it has been handed down to
posterity. At that time John D. Nicolas
was managing editor of the Indianapolis
J'Htmtl. His short-hand reporter .was
Charles W. Stags, who then happened to
be engaged in an important ca.to in the
Supreme Court. As the next best thing
Nicholas took long-hand the speech as
nearly verbatim as posHible, but was so
dissatisfied with the work that he went
to Colonel Ingersoll and asked his aid in
making a perfect report The Colonel
said he did not have the scratch of a
pencil or the sign of a note ; that every
word he had spoken was extempore and
while he could recall the greater portion,
he could not furnish it connectedly.
As a dernier resort the newspaper
man then returned to his desk and at
tempted the task of writing out that
wonderful tribute to the men who bad
done and dared that this might' be a
nation.
.. In a short time a young man shambled
up beside him, asked if he would like a
report of Ingersoll's speech. In his hand
be held a roll of paper, partially brown,
partially white, and all dirty. He said
his name was Piatt Lewis ; that he was a
first class stenographer ; that he wa in
hard luck ; and was on his way from
Cincinnati to Chicago ; that he had
crawled under the platform and taken
down the -speech with the hope of selling
his work. Lewis was paid liberally,
came to Chicago afterward, where he be
came editor of tbe Erening AVtra. And it
is to this somewhat strange combination
of circumstances that the greatest effort
of the silver-tongued orator's life has
been preserved.
How to Select a Wife.
Good health, good morals, good sense
and good temper, are the four essentials
for a good wife. These are the indispen
sable. After them come the minor ad
vantages of good looks, accomplishments
family position, etc. With the first four
married life will be comfortable and hap
py. Lacking either, it will be in more or
less degree a failure. Upon good health
depends largely good temper and good
looks, and to some extent good sense also,
as the best mind must be effected more or
less by the weakness and whims attend
ant on frail health. Young man, if your
wife is falling into a state of invalidism,
first of all things try to restore her health.
If she is troubled with debilitating fe
male weakness, buy Dr. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription. It will cure her.
Sunshine.
There is no better medicine, no greater
purifier, no better friend to good health,
cleanliness and long life, than sunshine.
"Where the sun does not shine the doc
tor must," and the truth condensed in
that statement is a whole lecture on
health in tbe home. Sunshine costs
nothing, is refreshing inv'rorating, life
givinf to both sick and well. People
have somehow got the idea that nothing
is valuable that does not cost something,
and are apt to value all blessings by the
money value they represent
Always bear in mind that the three
greatest blessings humanity receives-sun-light,
pure air and water all types of a
beneficent Father's unstinted bounty
all ire free to ail, they are everywhere,
and can be had without money and with
ont price. . .
If you would enjoy good health, see
that you have pure air to breathe all the
time, that you receive tbe direct benefit
of the sunshine an bour or two every
day, and that you quench your thirst
with nothing but - pure water. Houses
should be so built that every room occu
pied for living and sleeping purposes
shall receive the full benefit of the direct
sunlight at some time of the day.
The sleeping rooms should always be
large and roomy, and if pomihle have
eastern exposure to receive the benefit
of the morning sun. Many shade trees
too close to tbe house are an injury rath
er than a benefit ; and should be remov
ed if they prevent free access of the sun
light to all tbe rooms.
After using Ely's Cream Balm for two
months I was surprised and delighted to
find that the right nostril which was
closed np entirely for over twenty years,
was open and free as the other, and can
nee it now as I conld not do for many
years. I feel Very thankful. B, IL
Cressengham, 275 ISth St, Brooklyn.
' One ef the most enterprising newspa
pers of Buenos Ay res la edited by Win-
slow, the fugitive Boston forger. Since
he became a citizen of tbe Argentioe .Re
public be is said to have amassed a fort-
tnneoi $500,000.
d
WHOLE NO. 1925.
War of Education.
- In these days of pedagogic warfare,
college presidents fight valiantly on ei
ther side of the system of elective stud
ies, and the scientific! schools decry both
combatants with the taunt of uselcssnese
in practical matters. But, however, the
battle rages, men f introspective habits,
who have lived long enough to find their
work in this work-a-dar world, frequent
ly accuse the whole body of modern edu
cators of neglecting the true end aud
aim of education. '
Nearly all wbo have achieved stircesw,
especially those who have had academic
training, feel that the methods of educj
tion now in vogue are radically defective
DisgU'sted and mournful for years of hard
work, misdirected by instructors, they
know that their valuable education has
been accomplished in spite of the school
master, rather than by his efforts.
The young man of 22, when bidding
adieu to college walla, looks back upon
at least 14 years of student life. If an
honest worker, his receptive capacities
have been developed by long ami weary
efforts to grasp the hiure mass of stored
conclusions which we call knowledge.
He ran repeat, parrot-like, a vast deal of
learning, and is able to study new works
in the same line with comparative ease.
In other words, his intellectual power of
acquiring anil storing knowledge has
been admirably trained.
Conceding the point, the young man
stands on the outer circle of a society
ready to receive him, if he is a useful
member, but he has no trained voice
with which to utilize the intellectual
treasures which he has obtained. Utili
ty must be the test of the value any arti
cle, whether it be a tin kettle or a mod
ern education. On this score the educa
tor has failed to perform his ta?,k.
Of all the collegu lads who will gradu
ate in the - mouth of June it is doubtful
if more than 1 in 10 are able to write a
simple description of matters of ordinary
interest which, from a mere newsstand-
point would be accepted and paid for by
city newspapers. Fewer still can write a
magazine article on a thoughtful subject
logically enough to ensure its acceptance
by a periodical of moderate aspirations.
Probably none of them have enough
training in the art of arrranging their
thoughts to make a fair extemporaneous
speech.
These homely illustrations show only
a few of the ways in which educators are
remiss. Acquisition is but one of the
proper aims of study. It is an essential
but not the sole end of education. A
Roman boy, in the earlier centuries of
this era, was taught many facts, but the
aim of his teacher was to train him to
express his thoughts. In other words,
his education enabled him to get some
thing out of his mind as well as to put
things into that storehouse. As a conse
quence the Romans were a nation of
writers and orators, eminent beyond all
others.
A modern instance will show that the
same possibility exists today. Dora
Read Goodale and her sister, Elaine, the
marvelous child poets of Northampton,
were trained as children to express their
thoughts in words. Their parents, both
cultured beyond common standards, care
fully stored the mimls of these girls with
varied information, but gave equal care
to training them to express the things
that were in them. It may be doubted,
if they would have otherwise known
their splendid powers.
The deadly blight of originality is
upon the men of to-day. A few, by he
roic efforts, escape its infectious power,
but tbe majority fall into inanition. Re
ceptiveness lias taken the place of intel
lectual effort. The educated man, who
ought to be far ahead in the life struggle,
finds that years of labor at his books
have left him at the beginning of the
battle with all the tctics still to be
learned. Many of the ablest men of to
day are those who began life by learning
its most important lessons. The school
master has it in his power to fit his pu
pils fully for the atrujgle, but he can
never do it by the absurd methods to
which he now clings with unreasoning
fidelity. B'jMnn GUA
Some Things Worth Knowing.
If clothes are absol u tely d ry before they
are folded and laid away they -will not
mildew.
If your coal fire is low, throw on a tea
spoonful of salt, and it will help it very
much.
In warm weather put your eg in
cold water some time before vou are ready
to use (hem.
Lemons may be kept fresh a long time
in a jar of water, changing the water ev
ery morning.
A true test for epgs is to drop them in
water, and if the large end comes up they
are not fresh.
Hams wrapped in thick brown paper
and packed in a barrel of wood ashes in
the cellar will keep all summer.
To test nutmegs pick them with a pin
and if they are good the oil will instantly
spread around the puncture.
Bur soap when first bonght should be
cut in square pieces and put in a dry
place. It lasts better after shrinking.
A fish skin should be washed, dried
thoroughly, cut in small bits and put in
a box or paper bag, to use in settling cof
fee.
New Orleans or other good brow sugar
is the best for raised fruit or wedding
cakes. It should be coarse grained and
clean.
You can get a boftle or barrel of oil off
my carpel or wooden stuff by applying
dry bnckwheat plentifully and faithfully
Never pnt water to such a grease spot.
Beef having a tendency to be tough can
be made very palatable by stewing very
gently for two hours, with pepper and
salt, taking out about half of the liquid
when half done, and letting the rest boil
into meat Brown tbe meat in the pot
After taking up, make a gravy ofthe pint
of liquid saved.
And the reason of the change is that
Nellie took Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery, which regulated her liver.
cleared her complexion, made her blood
pure, ber breath sweet her face fair and
rosy and removed the defects that had
obscured her beauty. Sold by druggists.
Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets Pos
sess Powerful Potency, Pass Painlesssiy,
Promote Physical Prosperity.
Mr. Joseph Jefferson is the richest
American actor. He is worth $730,000
j Diphtheritic Sore Throat
It is not my intention to prescribe for
! this dreaded malady, but simply to give
an account of my experience as a nurse
in an extreme case. In company with
some friends I spent the holidays of last
year in a charming country bouse fitted
ith all the modern improvements.
While there, one of my friends, who, in
getting up a Christmas entertainment
had over-exerted herself and become de
billtatedQook a sudden cold which rap
idly developed, with diphtheritic symp
toms.
Being strong and well, not sensitive
about the throat and having so fear of
the disease, I volunteered ia a nurse. A
cathartic was administered and the doc
tor sent for. (I believe that if the bowels
could always be moved in the first stages
of a heavy cold, diphtheria and pneumo
nia would be lesa frequently fatal.)
When the; doctor came the patient was
lying on a sofa. He advised her to Im
mediately go to bed, and remain there
until he gave tier permission to rise. He
also suggested isolating the patient from
the family. Accordingly tbe patient and
myself were assigned- a suite of rooms
consisting of a very large bedroom,
(which contained two beds, a bath room
and dressing room. There were fonr
large windows in the bedroom, and a
window in each of the other rooms.
Tbe doctor ordered a counter-irritant
for the throat pork sprinkled with red
pepper, which never blisters. After ap
plying the remedy the patient complain
ed that the grains of pepr made her
nervous, and mustard was substituted.
This, of course, made the throat more
tender, and could be kept on only a few
minutes at a time. Then it occurred to
me that a thin slice of pork applied to
the inflamed skin might soothe it and,"
as proof, the patient fell asleep soon after
it was applied. Upon awaking another
mustard plaster took the place of the
pork, and so we worked for nearly twenty-four
hours. This seems like heroic
treatment but the case was extreme aud
demanded immediate relief.
All this lime the patient could not
speak intelligibly, butconveyed her ideas
by signs. The throat inside was green
with virulent poison, to remove which
the doctor left a white powder, one ingre
dient of which was chlorate of potash;
he also prescribed a gargle of alcohol, di
luted as little as possible. (I have great
faith in alcohol as a destroyer of diphthe
ric poison.) The patient having had
diphtheria in a malignant fonn a few
years previous, understood her condit:on
precisely ; she knew that the generally
fatal membrane was forming, and realiz
ed how necessary it was to aid the doctor
and nurse by complying with all their
directions.
The room we occupied was provided
with a cylinder stove, which proved of
great service, not only to warm the room,
but to heat irons which kept the pa
tient's feet warm, to warm everything
which she touched, and to burn every
handkerchief and towel which she used.
When the membrane began to dissolve,
the patient expectorated constantly, and
I tore old underclothing into pieces for
her use. So conscious was the sick one
of the malignancy of her disease, and to
the consequent danger of contagion, that
she would not allow me to touch one of
those pieces of cloth, but insisted upon
having brought to the bedside the fire
shovel, upon which she placed them, and
upon which they were thus carried to
the stove. The mustard plasters and
pork were disposed of in the same way.
Every precaution was taken to prevent
contagion. Not one of the family were
allowed to enter the room. The dishes
from which the patient ate or drank were
washed in the bath-room, and again
washed by themselves in the kitchen, so
fearful were we of spreading the disease.
The window of the bath-room was not
closed during the week (the patient's
bed, of course, stood where not a breath
of air could blow upon her) ; the doctor
remarked the purity of the air every
time he entered the sick room, and de
clared the admirable sanitary condition
of the house, coupled with good nursing,
had saved his patient I neglected tsay
that the patient's strength was kept up
by small drafts of milk, given at frequent
intervals when swallowing was possible.
After the danger was passed, the sick
one being very weak, nervous and disin
clined to sleep, the doctor ordered a
small morphine pill at night; the next
night half a pill, then a quarter, and so
on until sleep came naturally. A milk
tonic was ordered, delicate food was pro
vided, and in two weeks my patient was
as strong as ever.
Lillia Matxk.
The Wrong Man Sick.
A plainly dressed man, who introduced
himself as Mr. John Smith walked into a
doctors office, and having explained his
symptoms, he asked the doctor how long
it would take him to cure hi in.
The doctor, who treated the visitor
with every possible courtesy, replied:
"Yoa will require seven years' careful
treatment under my personal supervision
before you are perfectly well; but I think,
Mr. Smith, you will be able to resume
your labors in about two months."
"Doctor, you are fooling yourself. I
am not Smith, the banker, bnt Smith, the
street car driver."
"Is that so? Why, my good fellow, I
don't see what you come to me for. There
is nothing the matter with you, except
that you are not a banker."
A Timely Hint.
"John," she said, as she glanced at
the clock, "do you know anything about
baseball T
"Well, I rather guess I do," he answer
ed with pride.
" There is a short stop in every nine,
isn,t there V
" Certainly."
" Is there a long stop too T
"No."
" It is a pity."
"Why so r
"Because," and she glanced at the
clock again, "if there was a long stop you
would make money. Every club would
be bidding for you.
"Ob woman, woman V shrieked an or
ator in a sjs?ech tbe other night, "thou
art the light the life, the salvation ofthe
world! I shudder when I think of what
this world would be without thy gentle,
refining, ennobling influence. I bow at
tby shrine, acknowledging thy purity and
truth. There is nothing so beautiful, so
glorious, so true, so perfect, as a woman !
I reverence and bow down before thee!"
And when he went home he said to the
woman who was so unfortunate as to be
hts wife: "Why did you let tbe fire get s
low for? You knew I'd come home half
froze. You're just like the rest of tbe
women ; yoo bavent a thought beyond
your nose. Stir around and get me a cup
of hot tea, can't yon ? See if you can do
tliat much for a fellow. I'd just like to
know what yon women think you're good
for, anyhow T
'Has George proposed yet dear?" "No,
ma, bnt be did the next beet thing to it
last evening." "What did he dor "He
asked me if I thought paregoric injurious
to teething children."
The road to ruin The side door.