,crjns of Publication.
. viMiir amine at j ,0
hll!a '
BrarUblJ hra - - -
-nerlptioa will b. il-" U3 1111
ar TM r,,r n .
'ber. ro fro-ec-Po-. - -
The Somerset Herald,
SoniPix't, Pa.
.... unwrKKR.
1 Kh !L-ifi'v!iT.Liw.
gUKtwL P. -
!, YKIMMEU
. -
omeret, Pa.
V J KOOSER.
4 AllVftE..'. ' '
Somerset, Pa.
II Somerset Pa.
i
FNPSLEY.
ATTOKNEY-ATLAW,
Somen, P
W L- 1 ATTOENEY-AT-LaW
p., SonrnM. Pena'a.
. " 7
;i)ii.scUETATXJlw;
J Somerset, Pa.
I
J 1 iurney.at.law,.
lOHN'B.COTT,
gomerM. Pa.
t, tii"
dity.
TU W. H. KUrFEU
a oiFFW'TH.
4 .rvrOTH A- RUPPEI.
I i At
M their c&re will b
j.OOLBORX-
L. C OOLBOKX.
U-kT PORN COLBORN,
J . will henramnt-
,1U','leSw.o;4leCtlo.m.e in S-.m-
fa rma 4. oa reaaonabl. tenna.
Somerset, Pa.
brMnemi entroted te hit eara
Will .tM' ' '7 " -ontt with prou.pt-
k1 """ 'Z. . . on Alain Cro itreet.
H tea Bowiy- -
TFVKV f. schell,
I " .miEKEY-AT LAW,
. t.nn. A rent. SomarMt. Pa.
B.ntr w V w
I Z, u, Mnta Black.
uentinehay.
- ATTCR-VEY-AT-iaW
An -"'til
IrfH1 ti.tll
ronx H thi. "
I "Pa.
tl it MaiuaMlh Buildln.
f,. ATTt'KKET-ATXAW,
. . . . i to mi eara at-
ifwleau aUhpn'mptneeaaadhdeUty.
'IIJ.IAM H. KOOXTZ.
ATTORN EY-AT-L.AW,
DUUIVIaVk) a wHf
i i 1 1 aw akM4MATa
, It frlnttog Hon Sow. ' '
TAMES I PWH,
J ATTORNEY-
ATtiW,
tsoaneraev ri.
i. 1 1 k. Mn mi . lr Kntranee.
v.... (Y- utreet. tlolleoe.
-i;l. title, examined, and all leral baiinew)
ttul te with inmnptnee and ttdeiity.
n
L BAER.
, ATTORN EY-AT-LAW.
Snaenet,
. . jmi,i..eMa.tlea.
i, .mreutru.ll him 1" be promptly
trended to.
TSAAC HIT.l'S.
1 ATTORN EY-Al -LAW
DKSXIS MEYERS.
ATTORNEY-ATAW,,
All letal t.BPineai entroited to hlearwlllb
t'ilttl te with nr"ipne and firtellty.
"Hoe hi Mammoth Block next dour to Boydl
tru tt.JTt.
TT HOWARD WTNSE, M. P. "
' JO WMOJIA, 11 A
I'kwiwe of ih F.a. Ear. Ko an Throat.
.rul n.i ( irlule prartlee. Koar. . . to
. - i . i . i 1' 1. .fe 4u&M.lntt-
if. a.
umi mi i b mil u j " , -
D
,L WILLIAM COLLINS, ' ,
DENTIST, SOSilon, rn.
' 'Tr in i ram'n pti. '" i.'.'" -
St.irt.eiii-t he ran at all time be found prepar
et u.ilu all kuxli et work. orh a nllinc reau
Uttn. extTatUnc fce. ArtlDrtal teeth of all klnflfc
an.Ul the tan material inserted, ttperatluo
warranted.
. . .. . . . . ... . . - Tl. .w .4 Tkra.
" ARl'E M. HICK!.
J JTSTICE OF THE PEACE.
Someraet, Penn".
TAMES O. K1ERXAN. M. D. ten-
4f!xUli I'TVfewlonal KTricef to tl citiaen ef
X mciM-. and virtnltT. Brnn he ttnnd at the
ii.lrtf ol bl father nn Main Ktreet or at the
aredlr Henry Brnlaker.
tSept , ltci.
El) X. KiMMEU. H.S. aUMMELU
E. M. . KIMMELL & SON
.ender their pmtewlnral aerrtee to the citl
icLiot S-tnereet and Tirtnlty, reof th mem
lrt ol the firm can at alOiae. uslee profeioo
; eoirared. 1 kand at UirUioa, ou Halo
'rMt, eatl ul laa immami.
DR. J. K. MILLER ha perma
m: looated la Berlin for th prattle ol
a iPMiua. )6o oputt Ckarlea Krlwdaf.
w iwi apr. Xi, Ta-U.
DR. H. BRUBAKER tenders his
prufenknal rrrteef u tb eltiaonl of 8om
ud Tirlultv. i iftee la residence oa Mala
trteu.en ol lb Blamond. ...
R. W M. R A U C II tenders hie
ptotVval eerrleea n th eluaenaof Soav
Ud W1BltT.
'tw-wuirtM of Wayuaa. B-rkeWl.'i
utr mu, .
let., HI.
D1
iR. A. O. MILLER.
PHYSICIAN A KVTtaEOH, '
nureuKwedte South Bead, Indiana, wbr he
au at aauaitad by letter or aikeniUM.
D'
R. JOIIX BILLS. ,r
tia-arTiT
lOaVaahoe Heary BelBey' More, Mala Cruel
"aw. Soaieraet. Pa.
QIAMOXD HOTEL,
KTOYSTOWN. 1ENN,A.
Thu aoilar and weU known tawt hat aXalT
aUuruaihlT and newl rrtltuM wUt all aew
el turniiure, which ht Md. R a wry
lrt4e Krwtuf plae Ux la InHlta public,
a u t.Me and r -. t th-t ha eari. eeed. all be
at f4 cW hh a large pabUe halt attaeawd
'.. A lea lary and roomy bjlaa;.
rw kva.hsarolBgea he had at ih lawa pua
rf., tJ th week, day at anal. . .
lAJtl'lXcrSTER. Prop.
aVE-Car !.ma
(ttyaww
LOQI TO TCU3 HEALTH !
y let that i oa Bot allow yvwr SyateBi to
2Jaurely raa dowa aad wora oalb.tryru
Sr. Piiraey's IJe.ertafer. '
'tl iMVl4 aylta,
Vwaaa or i.
eUBe. aeosmpaatod wlih amjbt
t0H- TIORTKE88 OF CBEST a4 PACT
ACSU8J SHALL OF BACK.
autLvS? th Kenorar. whlek eVana-
Itowd. aeatoa aad toetgm A Lter.
C0ERECT8 Tint KTDHSTS.
ati b hadftwaj all daalara. '
MhlM
1 lie
VOL. XXXI. NO. 40.
Frank IT. tttj.
ESTABLISHED 54TE1RS.
, . WHOLESALE
Tin, Copper ana Sleet
No. 2 SO Washington Street, Johnstown, Pa.
- ALE PESPASED TO OITES
RANGES, STOVES and HOIUIIIXG GOODS 13 EEiM
At Prices Leu than any ether
Snerlal attratlna twld Jobhlnr tl Tin. Oalraalud I ma tu4 ShmUIraa. Hnrkr Pant. SUaa
Plia, Hi-Mr ItuulkiMl, fpoutln. Sutrkt of kndn. .Dd .11 work pertataing to lllar Far
aoM. EnluwtM icivi and wurk dua. by tlraudau MMbaalc ealy. Sot. Artil for Nobl. 0ok.
JubD'towaOHtk.Siwan1 Antl-lMin Uook, Ezoelalur ienD. la Hauw-FarnUluna" Good . Oder
Coal Vanes, Toilet Set. Hrwui UIomu, Oak. Bold,
and Dialed I. unaaa oiirer p.xoi. itniaDDU
Warn, hrufi and (Jupner KeuW, Hut Broiler, Oyater Brollara, Ekk Beaten, tlx different kinda.
Bread Tuantere. Plated ilriiannla and Wire Daatura. Iron Standi, Fire Iron, and everything; (rf
blee at u meet th. wantaot thin eommnnltT in oarllne! with a ctmd arUel. at a low nrloe. All nodi
Ware nM.lxl in the Conklnir IteoarLment. An rxneiiene. or InlrfT.mree Taara la DOMneaa Beraena-
(old WAUKAKTEUASEEFRESENTEDorth. money refunded. 'U and aee the Ware ; get
price before porehaeinir ; n troabl. to show good. Per! somatenelnK Hoaee-Keeptna; will aara
a pereent. hy baying tUelrouUit from na. Merchant aelllna; (uodiia var Una ahorMaand tut
Wbulehle Frlce Lieu or call and get .quotation! of oarWarea. Aewehareao apprenUcea all our
work u warranted to be of uu beat quality at lowect
JIAY BBOS 3To. 2SO Washinston Street Jhawtown, Pen'a.
HERE IS THE PLACE!
J. M. HOLDERBAUM 1 SONS
NO. 4 BAER'S BLOCK.
A Complete Assortment of GENGRAL MERCHANDISE consietingof
STAPLE and FANCY DEY GOODS!
A Large Assortment of
DRESS GOODS AND NOTION!
MENS , BOY'S & CHILDREN'S CLOTHING!
HATS .BOOTS AND SHOES !
CARPETS & OIL CLOTH I
Queensware, Hardware, Glassware,
GKROCERliES.
All Kinds of Window Blinds
-r r. . t l J
Bowls, Tubs, Buckets, Baskets, Toledo
Pumps, Farm Bells, Corn Plant
ers and Plows, Cultivators,
and WAGONS ! .
TIIEHOLAXD CHILLED PLOW,
The CIIAMPIOX MOWER '& REAPER.
The CHAMPION GRAIN SEED BRILL.
With Detachable FertiExer.
THE BEST OF EVERYTHING AT
1 v J. M. HOlERBAIM &s6nS,i .-v-V
SOMERSET, PENN'A. '
Vick's Floral Guide
For 1MB I an eleirant book of 150 page, three
oulored Plate of Flower and Yeiretaole. and
more than l.ODO illuftratloa uf tb cfaoieet Flow
er. Plant and Vegetable, and direction for
arowlng. It t handem. enough for the eenter
table era holldae preecat. Send oa your name
and poetothee atldre. with 10 eenta, aad 1 will
end you a copy, postage paid. Thi if not a quar
ter of iu eit. It I printed In both Enirllh aad
German. If you afterward order Mod deduct
th Ml eeota.
Tick'8Sis are the It litli World!
The Floral Ouid will toll how to get and grow
them.
Yk-k'( Flower and Vegetable Oarden. 175 paaea,
lx colored plate, 600 .eagraring. For So cent
ta paper corer: tl 00 ta elegant cloth. lnUer
toaa or Englfah.
Vlck llluauatod Monthly Megailne 32 pages.
a eolored ulate iu ererr namber, and many hoe
engrarlnr. Prime ai 35 a yean fire cople lor
ta 00. r.ielBeB numbers sent lur 1 eenta; tnree
Ulal aopMi tut eeua.
JAAMES VICK,
ROCHESTER, K. T.
COOLEY CKEAHEES.
1 V .dc in mm ptti.es. n
tixm u D-dry or Knry u..
i tn-ir baavrMMruy mm.
imr earcra wuooax a
v are KnjHniii!w.
liva 4. old MedaJ. and
re KiWcT Jlrdal f.
uiwn.vitr. 0s Lew. Ic.
!masc barrra HL-rrtK.
t!S JWH CHUF.IS. CUREKA-
id fiiD hue of tmttrr factory
npiHa. H-nd portnl for circular and tovUmaulala.
11. fARl aUCMltl OL, Bellow a Falla, enuonl.
PkaiingMill for Sale.
The anderi'lgned Jelrte sell at prlrate ale
ti lot of cruund In Rockwood. Pa., the janotlon
f the S.AC and H. a, O. Ralkcoads, a whkh
are a two story
Plank Dwelling House,
stable, the uraal owtbaiMlBg and a
PLANING MILL
ba.iL.iir a in s-arx.thfrl ltfefrt In the mch!n-
Ikmi I. th. bolldlnr. For farther nar-
Ucalarealloooraddrcf
janSl Rockwood, Pa.
FASHIONABLE
CUTTER & TAILOR,
A h&7 Hatrkag had many
SZtf 1 in all hrancbea f
rV O Tllioruig eu m
l tm. 1 guarante
Z tutlafaetlua to all
T wh may call up-
on me ana ibtot
X BMWllk their B4-
roaage.
Voura, Aa,
M'BL. M.:nOCHSTETlEK,
Sesaienet, Pat. ',
art
SOMERSET COUSiTY BASK I
(ESTABLISHED lST?.)
CHAELES, I HASE1S0J, 1-1 PEHT1 :
1 . L' Iireldent. .7 " 4 , Cashier.
Oolleetloa auvt la all part of th VaJtod
"""CHABGES MODKHATK.
rartm wieoiag w "
eommortatM ty orat T-
luUaetluBBkwith prompowa U.S. Boad
. . U -VaCaa aJ w ItakattsAsBaK aBaarVssBal
?!U niAi1 a.iatoaed aalha. wfth a Sar
gent A Yale OS Um lock.
ACCOUNTS SOUCTTED.
v An i al hoUdayi obaamd. dad
CHARLES HOFFIUN,
iUERcnAirr TAILOS,
(Abov Heary Ke?yto--I t
ULTET min C. LOWEST PRICES.
BT SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.
SOMERSET, jPAl
mm
MB ill "f i
7 y
mm i n.j
JhB B, Hj
B E, O S.,
AKD RETAIL , . . ;
- Iron IlannTy,
i .
House In Western Pennsylvania.
Ctaambar-Palla, KdItu ao4 Fork! (eonaioa
Kuoouin mn.uM, ww aaa dmmih
ptlca. Ta aar. money eau oa or aaa to
and Fixtures, Wall Papers,
m. ..-a.M.
AlbkbtA. Hoajta.
S. Scott Wiib
HOME 1 17ABD,
arcexsaoaa to
EATON & BROS,
NO. 27 FIFTH AVENUE,
PITTSBURGH, PA
SPRIISra, 1882.
NEW GOODS
EVZ2Y 25AY SPECIALTIES
Eaibrsi.trin, laeat, WHIaary, Wklt Shews, HJ
kartlilefh Drau Trliawiiigj, Hotlarr, Clew,
CstmU, MatHa aad larlM Undenraar, I.
BMtt'aad Cklidrsa's CJothlsf . Fine
6eadt, Yarat, 2,hjrr, Mita
riali of All Kiads far
FANCY WOrK,
Finiistoi Gds, te, te
TocarT)3io ta BgaracrrorxT oue"i
Bg-etDEtSBT MAIL ATTESDFD TO-IWITM
CAKt ASD DISPATCH.
EDWARD ALCOTT,
MArT acre aaa aD diur i
LUMBEEI
OIK FLOORING A SPECIALTY
OFFICK AND FACTORY :
URSINA,
SOMERSET CO., PA.
Jjiy
BNTABUHHaW !.
Q.?.?A7TFTHaj
Xm. 501 u4 VH Ba1 Snet, .
JOHKSTO'Wir.PA.
WHOLESALE AKD atETAH.
DRUGGIST,
" JL5 EAAXA IK "
PEUFlTXiraYvPAIfT3. CII
Otaas aa4 Patty, Hair aad Teat. Braahaa. Faaey
Astlato. Toatad S-attog Buapa. A. ;
. t'amUy MedloiBM aad Pkymclaa' Pfeaerte
4farrtolT sw,uBla. AftM
PATEHTS
. .11 - to the TJ. ft. Palawt
nTtotAeOerm totofUAlt
FLU,
W ar. enweM. th TT. & T4p 0toB,-
lraaarAl.fiTOIt
WW aai w-rawtoc k aawtw r as to
MAiC UmUU rAT-IT.
W remr, her, to thIHtaaMr, t K. Sd
tk. H(ng Ur- Mrkea, aad to . atigtb
V. . ltowt ilsa tw j
a A, ENOW CO..
OfaP Pass
" wi giitra
A BATCHKtOR
Too poor for a Hob; " ' .
Ton proud for a ipob ;
' Too fin for th mob
' Poordertl!
. 7 -,' '
Too mystic for trade
' Toobonart, 'tiaaaid, -For
gain tbitt ia nude
By viL
Too high bUldarir
Too hombla the nal p. ;
To dirty tp fcal r.
For frievia. ; . 5
. Too patient forba-ng ; "
Too mirtbleea fcr tuating;' .
Life's pleasure belating, '
And leaylng. "
Too little a poet,..
To teak tb world kaow it ;
Too weak to forego it,
. Still trying. . j .'
Too frank, too forghirg ; '
Too prone to belieTing ;
Too lonesome for tiring
Or dying. ' ' i
RETIR1XO FROM BrSIN7SS.
By Brwt Lart.
What the Colonel's bnsi oem -was
nobody knew, nor didlany body -care
particularly. He parchasd for cash
only, and never grumbl ed at . the
price of anythinat he wtinted: who
could do more than that.?
Curious weople occasionally won
dered how, when it had been, fully
two years since the Colonel, with
every one else, abar.dooed Dutch
Creek to the Chinese he laanaged
toepeod money freeiy and to lose
considerably at cards and horse ra
ces. In fact, the keeper of one of
the Challenge Hill saloons which
the Colonel did not . patronize, was
once heard to wonder, absent mind
edly, whether the. Colonel hadn't a
money mill somewhere, where he
turned out eagle and 'slugs" (the
coast name for fifty ' dollar cold
pieces). t
When so important a personage
as a bar tender indulged publicly in
the idea, the inhabitants of Chal
lenge Hill, like good ' Californians
ererywnere, considered inemselves
in doty bound to gire it grave con-1
1 - l . a w
sideration ; so, for a few days, cer
tain industrious professional gen
tlemen who had won money of the
Colonel, carefully weighed some of
the brightest pieces and tested them
with acids, and sawed them in two,
and retired them" and melted them
up, and then had the lumps assay-
The result was a complete vindi
cation of the Colonei and a loss of
considerable custom by the indis
creet bar keeper. .
The Colonel rj as good natnred
a man as waa eer knownln "Chal
lenge Hill, bo t being mortal the
Colonel had b is occasional times of
despondency , and one of them oc
curred after a series of races in which
he had staked his all .on his bay
mare, Tipr ie, and had lost
ixAin a reDroacbfullv at bis be
loved as'imal, he failed to heed the
aching void of - his pockets, and
driukrag deeply, swearing eloquent
ly an d glaring de6antly at all man-
Kiira , were equally unproductive oi
COir.. . :yh
i'he bovs at the saloon svm nathiz-
ec most feelingly with the ColoneL
T hey were unceasing in their invita
tions to drink, and they exhibited
con siderable christian forbearance
when the Colonel savagely dissented
with every bne who advanced any
proposition, no matter how incon
trovertible. But unappreciated sym
pathy grows decidedly tiresome id
the giver, and it was with a feeling
oi relief that the boys saw the Colo
nel stride out of the saloon, mount
Tipsie and gallop furiously away. ,
Kidmeon horseback has always
been considered an excellent sort o f
exercise, and ruling is univereallj
admitted to be one ' of the mos t
healthful exhilarations in the world
When a man is so absorbed in his
exercises that be will not stop to
speak to a friend, and when his ex
hydration is so complete that lie
turns his eyes from well meaning
thumbs pointing significantly into
doorways through which a man has
often passed while seeking bracing
influences, it is but natural that peo
ple should express some wonder.
The Colonel was well known at
Toddy Flat, Lone Hand, Blazers,
Murderer's Bar and several other
villages through which he passed.
As no men had been seen to procede
him, betting men were soon offering
odds that the Colonel was running
away from somebody. '
Strictly speaking they were wrong,
but they won all the money . that
had been staked against them, for
within half an hour there passed
over the same road an anxious look
ing individual who reined up at the
principal saloon of each place and
asked if the Colonel had passed.
Had the gallant Colonel known
that he was followed, and by whom,
there would have . been hn extra
election held at the latter place
shortly after, - for the nnrsner was
the constable, and for all officers of
the law" the" Colonel, possessed ha
tred.' On galloped the Colonel, follow
ing the ste road, which threaded
the old mining .: camps on Dutch
Crejk, but suddenly he turned out
of the road ' and urged , his horse
through the young pines and hushes,
which grew thickly by the road,
while the constable galloped on to
the next camp. . , . . ..
. There seemed to be bo path thre'
the thicket into which the Colonel
had turned, bat Tipsie walked be
tween the trees and shrubs as if
they were familial' objects ' of her
staole yard, ; f . .
Suddenly a voice from the hashes
shouted:
. -What.ir
"BnainsM ttV what"
''It's timt ?lied the voice, and
it omit bearded six-footer
emerred frees the bushes and strok
ed Tirs-s's nose wjj th freedom oil
an oM acquaintance. "We haint had
a tip ainea tzctnist, and there aim.
a cracker or a handful f flour in
the shanty. . The oli 1 go back on
flv: fost every Liactad
Tmal her fuel tto her-he
mm
4. r
'Hi
. 1 -H. , , ... Cl ... ! ; .-
I,',;. . ; i . '; ' '
32STABU:seEr 1837
I I I I l.fj I
SOI Sm SET, PA., 7EDirCSDAY.
done her level besk'jfey 'rybody, to
noma i
"You bet,"; said th
mitn. ' "All
been a prayin' for jf
fj w iura up
aethin' with
with the rocks an
more color than sprii
water. Come
on."
' The man' led the way and Tipsie
and the Colonel followed, and the
trio suddenly found themselves be
fore a log hut. in front of which sat
three solemn, disconsolate individu
als, who looked appeaanely at the
wuo.nei.
t , .... - . I :
"Ma ckH tell you how it was, fel
lows, " said the Colonel meekly,
while 1 .7cet tne mare."
The Cglnel was absent but a few
moments, but when he returned
each of the fo vr was attired with a
pistol and km fo. while Mack was
distributing so. me dominoes made
from a rather diiHv Hottt sack.
- uTaint so late that, is it?"
inquired the Uoloi vi- : .. ,
Better be an hi ur ahead than
miss in this ere nik'h-t,' said one of
the four. . . . -i
."Iaui'tbeen so tlwity since we
came round the horn 1 i4 50, and we
run short of water, . S sebody Tl get
hurt if there aint any . Jbitters m the
old concern they will, .or my name
aint Perkins !" '
"Ddnt "count on" yo lr chickens
'fore they're hatched. Perky," said
one of the crowd, as he a diusted his
domino under the rimta his hat
"S'posin there should biw many
for us?"
tiddv.sUddv. Cranlsl ? remon
strated the Colonel.- "Hob ody ever
gets along if they allow tht taselves
to be skeered." ' "
"Fact" . chimed in t&e s. tallest
and thinnest man inthe'b&rtv "The
Bible savs somethiti. iiich ty hot
Txrotthat I disremem5er tlzactly
how it goes, but I've hern iarson
Buzzy, down in Maine, preach a rip
pin old sermon many a time. , The
old man never thort what a co. nfort
them sermons wuz agoin4 16 be ; to a
road agent, : though. , 1 he time- we
stopped Slim" Mike's' stage and: he
didn't have no more manners, lian
to draw on me them sermons were
a perfect blessing- to me ;the th brta
of them 'cleaned ray head' as quick
as a cocktail. An' " ' ' .
"I don't want to dispute Logro 11-
er s pious strain," l-terrupted uie
Colonel ; "but ez it's Old Black that 's
arrivin' to-dav instead of Sliio
Mike, and ez it's Old - Black alien
makes. his time,. heddt we better
vamose?" - ' '
The door of the shanty was hasti
ly closed and the men fled through
the thicket until near the toad, when
they marched rapidly a In parallel
lines with it ' - N 'V ' " 11
After about half an hotr. Perkins,
whn waa lliit. lialted and wined
bis Dere-Tjirine brow : wit! his shirt
sleeve;- -.y-MSalj-.-
'Fur ' enough from home, now.
said he.' Tain't no nse being a gen
tleman iP ver have to work too
hard." ; :
"Safe enough, I rekon,w replied
the Colonel. "We-1 do the U6ual;
IU halt 'em, Logroller 'tend to the
driver, Cranks take the boot, and
Ma ck and Perk takes right and left
An. I know U'b tough but consid-
er'in' how everlastin' eternal hard up
we are. I reckon well have to ask
contributions from the ladies, too, if
there's any aboard eh, boys?
"Reckon so, replied .Logroller,
with a 'chuckle that seemed to in
spire his black domino with a wrin
kle or two.- "What s the use of wo
men's rights ef they don't ever have
a chance of exercis'n 'em? Hevin
their purses borrowedlld show 'em
the lull doctrine in a bran new
light"
"Come, come, boys," interrupted
the Colonel, "that's the crack of Old
Black's whip ; pick your bush
quick ! All jump when I whistle."
Each man secreted himself near
the roadside. The stage came
swinging along handsomely; those
inside were laughingly heartily at
something, and Old Black was just
giving a delicate touch to the flank
of the off leader when the Colonel
gave a shrill, quick whistle, and five
men sprang into the road.
The horses stopped as suddely as
if it were a matter of common occur
rence. Old Black dropped the reins.
crossed bis legs and stared into the
sky, and the passengers all put out
their - heads with a rapidity equaled
only by that with which they with
drew them as they saw the dominoes
and revolvers ef the road agents.
"Seems to.be something the mat
ter, gentlemen," said the Colonel
blandly, as he opened the door.
"Won't you please get out? Dont
trouble yourselves to draw, cob my
friend here's got his weapon cocked
an' bis finger rather nervous. Ain't
got a handkerchief, hev yer?" asked
he of the first passenger " who de
scended from the stage. "Hev?
Well, now, that's lucky. Just part
yer hands behind yer, please so
that's it"
And Ihe unfortunate man's arms
were securely tied behind , in an in
stant ; " ; .
The remaining passengers were
treated with similar courtesy, and
the Colonel and his friends examin
ed the pockets of the caplives. Old
Black remained unmolested, for
whq ever heard of a etage driver hav
ing money?.. ''." "
"Roys, said the Colonel, calling
his brwther agents aside and com-
Jaring receipts, "taint much of a
aul ; but only one woman, and she's
old'e06Ughno "be" feller's grand
mother. -: ' J V ;
"Like enough she'll pan out more
than all the rest of the stage put to
gether," growled Cranks, carefully
testing the thickness of the east of
the gold wAtch. "Jest like the low.
lived deceitfulneM of aome folks to
hire an old woman te carry their
mfiney, so it'd gosar. liebbe what
she's got ain' nothing to aome folks
that's got boaaes that can wiA mon
ey at races, "but" ,A s;s
The Qond abruptly ended the
conversation,' and ap"roaclaed the
stae. . He wis very cLivabvoe, but
Crank sarcrtic rerca ta Tipsie
heeded reversing, and u he eooU
not, with bciaeas arrrsmctts pat
an and to. Cranks,. Ct, ody lidy
would have to soCJar.' ;'V, . . I ;
; ,"I 3 yen fAidcSj taaVeil
the ColoneL rir' ha hti noLtaly
Mk t ' v aJ
auumnuii et e.. w
the teach doer tl er, i
MARCH 14. 1883.
we're taking up a collection for some
deserving object We was goin'to
mkke the gentlemen fork over the
hull amount, but ex the ain't got
enough, we will hev to bother you."
The old ladv trembled, felt for
her pocket book and raised her veiL
lne Uolonel looked into her lace,
slammed the stage door, and Bitting
on the bub of one of the wheels,
stared vacantly into space.
;. "Nothin'?"'queried Perkins, in
whisper, and with a face full of gen
nine sympathy.
"No yes," said the Colonel dream
ily, "that is, untie 'em and let the
stage go ahead," he continued,
springing, to his feet "111' hurry
back to the cabin," and the Colonel
dashing into the pines leaving
the : fellows so paralyzed
with astonishment that Old Black
afterward remarked that if there'd
been anybody to attend to the horses
he could have cleaned out the hull
crowd with his whip.
The passengers, relieved of their
weapons, were unbound, allowed to
enter the stage, and the door was
slammed, upon which Old Black
picked up his reins as if he had laid
them down at the station while the
horses were being changed, then
cracked bis whip and the stage roll
ed ox. while the Colonel s party
went back, to tneiriiut, loudly in
specting as thev went certain flasks
they had obtained while transacting
their business with the occupants of
the stage.
ureat was the astonishment of the
road agents as they entered their
hut, for there stood the Colonel in
a clean white shirt and in a suit of
clothing made from the limited spare
wardrobes of the other members of
the band. '
But the suspicious Cranks speedi
ly subordinated his wonder to his
prudence, as laying on the table a
heavy purse he said :
Uome, Colonel, business before
pleasure, let's divide and scatter.
Ef anybody should hear about it,
and find our trail, and ketch the
traps in our possession, they might
"Divide yerselves," said the Colo
nel, witb abruptness and a great
oath, "I don't want none of it."
Colonel, said Perkins, removing
his domino, and looking anxiously
into the leader's face, "be you sick?
Here a some bully brandy which I
found in the' passengers' pockets."
"It hain't nothm' " replied the
Colonel with averted eyes,
going to retire from business
Jk AA
forev-
er."
ihlU V gUlli tKjr IU1U VAAAC t
cried Cranks, grasping a pistol on
the table.'
' "Pm goin to make a lead mine of
you ef you don't take that back.
roared the Colonel, with a bound
tol and retire precipitately, apologis
ing as he went "I'm agoin to at
tend to my own business, and that 's
enough to keep anybody bizzy.
Somebody lend me $50 till I see
him again."
Perkins pressed the money into
the Colonel's hand, and within two
minutes the Colonel was on Tipsie's
back and galloped off in the direction
the stage had taken.
He overtook it, passed it and still
he galloped on.
The people at Mud Gulch knew
the Colonel well and made it a rule
oot to be surprised at anything he
did ; but they made an exception to
the rule when the Colonel canvassed
the principal bar rooms for men who
wished to buy a horse, and when a
gambler who was flush obtained
Tipsie for twenty slugs-nly $1,000,
when the ' Colonel had always said
there wasn't gold enough on top of
ground to buy her1 Mud Guloh ex
perienced a very decided sensa
tion."" ' But when the Colonel, after re
maining ih the barber shop for half
an hour, emerged with his lace clean
shaved and his hair nicely trimmed
and parted, betting was so wild that
a cool headed sporting man speedily
made a fortune by betting against
every theory that had been advanc
ed.
Then the Colonel made a ' tour of
the stores and fitted himself with a
new suit of clothes, carefully eschew
ing all of the gorgeous patterns and
pronounced colors so dear to the
average miner. He bought a new
hat and put on a pair of boots, and
pruned bis fingernails, and stranger
than all, be mildly declined all in
vitations to drink.
As the Colonel stood in the door
of, the principal saloon, where the
stage always stopped, the Challenge
Hill constable was seen to approach
the Colonel and tap him on the
shoulder, upon which all men who
bet that the Colonel was dodging
somebody claimed the stakes. But
those who stood near the Colonel
heard the constable say :
"Colonel, I take it all back. When
I seed you going out of Challenge
Hill it come to me that you might
be in the road agent business,, so I
followed you, duty, you know. But
when I seed ypu sell Tipsie, I knew
I was on the wrong trail I wouldn't
suspect you now if all the stages in
the country, were robbed : and 111
give you satisfaction any way you
want it?"
"It's all right," said the Colonel
with a smile. , -
The constable afterwards said that
nobody had any idea of how curi
ously the Colenel smiled when his
beard was off.
Suddenly the stage pulled up to
the door with a crash, and the male
passengers hurried into the saloon
in a state or utter indignation ana
impetuosity.
- The story ol the robbery attracted
everybody, and during the excite
ment the Colonel slipped out quietly
and opened the door of the stage.
The old lady started and cried:
"Georwr
And the Colonel Jumped into the
stage and putting his arm . tenderly
ground the trembling form of the
did lady, exclaimed:
' "Mother r ; ,
V It is better to he reproached by a
friend than complimented by a fiat-
The wise man looks for happiaeas
fee-ood the narrow ken of personal
interact.. : i ;
ZJ. JLL Hy JUL AUAU -LL Hy
That Bad Boy.
"What on earth is that you have
got on your upper lip ?" 6aid the
grocery man to the bad boy, as he
came in and began to peel a ruta
baga, and his Upper lip hung down
over his teeth, and was covered with
something that looked like shoe
maker's wax. "You look aa though
you had been digging potatoes with
yoar nose." :
Oh, that s tome of pa s darn
smartness. I asked him if he knew
anything that would make a boy's
moustache grow, and he told me the
best thing he ever tried waa tar, and
for jne to rub it . on thick when I
went to bed, and wash it off. Pa
told me all I had to do was to use a
scouring brick, and it would come
off, and I used the brick, and it took
the skin off, and the tar is there yet
and say, does my lip look very
bad r
The grocervman told him it was
the worst looking lip he ever saw,
but he could cure it by rubbing a
little cayenne pepper in the tar. He
said the tar would neutralize the
pepper, and the pepper would loosen
the tar, and act as a cooling lotion to
the lacerated lip. The boy went to
a can of pepper behind the counter,
and stuck his finger in and rubbed
a lot of it oa his lip, and then his
hair began to raise, aad he began to
cry, and rushed to the water pail
and ran his face into the water to
wash off the pepper. The grocery
man laughed and when the boy
had got the pepper washed off, and
had resumed his rutabaga he said :
"That seals vour fate. No man
ever trifles with the feelings of the
bold buccanner of the Spanish main,
without living to rue it I will lay
for you, old man, and don't you for
get it Pa thought he was smart
when he got me to put tar on my
lip, to bring my mustach out aQd
to-day he lays on a bed of pain, and
to-morrow your turn will come.
You will regret that you did not get
down on your knees and beg my
pardon. You will be sorry you did
not prescribe cold cream . for my
bruised lip, instead of cayenne pep
per. Beware, you base twelve ounce
to the pound huckster, you gimlet-
eyed seller of dog sausage, you sand
ed sugar idiot, you small potato
three-card monte sleight of hand
rotten egg fiend,- you villain that
sella smoked sturgeon and dog-fish
for smoked halibut The avenger is
on your track.
Look here, young man, don t you
threaten me, or I will take you by
the ear and walk you through green
fields, una beside still waters, to the
front door, and kick, your pistol
pocket clear around so. you can wear
it for a watch pocket in your vest
No bov can frighten me. by crimua
LEul tell met, hm tl jd jroat even
with your pa T
"Well, give me a glass of cider and
we will be friends, and I will tell
you. Thanks I uosh, but that cider
is made out of mouldy dried apples
and sewer water," and he took a
handful of layer raisins off the top
of a box to take the taste out of his
mouth, and while the grocer charged
a peck of rutabagas, a gallon of cider
and two pounds oi raisins to the
boy's pa, the boy proceeded : "You
see, pa likes a joke the best of and
man you ever saw, u it is on some
body else, but he kicks like a steer
when it is on him.
I asked him this morning if it
would't be a good joke to put some
soft soap on the lront step, so the
etter carrier would slip up and epill
hisself, and pa said it would be ele
gant Pa is a Democrat and he
thinks that anything that will make
it unpleasant for Republican omce-
nolders, is legitimated, and he en
couraged me to paralyze the letter
carrier. The letter carrier is ai old
a man as pa, and I didn't want to
humiliate him, but I just wanted
pa to give his consent so he could
n't kick if he got caught ih his own
trap. You see ? Well, this morning
the minister and two of the deacons
called on pa, to have a talk with him
about bis actions in church, oh two
or three occasions, when he pulled
out the pack of cards with his hand
kerchief; and played the music box,
and they had a pretty hot time in
the parlor, and finally they settled
it and were going to sing a hymn,
when pa handed them a little hymn
book, and the minister opened it and
turned pale and said, 'what's this'
and thev looked at it and it was a
book of Hoyle's games instead of a
hymn book. i
"Gosh, wasn't that minister mad ?
He had Etarted to read a hymn and
he quit after he read two lines where
it said, "In a game of four-handed
eucher, never trump your partner's
but rely on the ace to take the trick
on suit" Pa was trying to explain
how the book come to be there when
the minister and the deacons started
out, and then I poured the two
quart tin pail of soft soap on the
front step. It wat this white soap,
just the coler of the step, and when
I got it spread 1 went down in tne
basement The visitors came out
and pa was trying to explain te them,
about Hoyle, when one of the dea
cons stepped in the soap, and his
feet flew up and he struck on his
pants and slid down the steps. . The
minister said, "great heavens, deacon,
are you hurt?. Let me assist y'oa,"
aud he took "two quick steps, and
you have seen these fellows in a nig
ger show that kick each others head
over heels and fall on their ears, and
stand on their heads and turn around
like a top. -'The minister's feet slip
ped, and the next I saw he waa
standing on Lis head in his hat and
- v . .a .
his lees were sort ol wilter ana leu
limp by his side, and he fell over on
his stomach. " 7 . .. ',
You talk about spreading the gos
pel in heathen lands. It is nothing
to the .way yon can spread it with
two quarto of soft sop. The minis
ters didn't look pieus a hit when he
waa trying to catch the railing. He
looked as though he wanted to tour-,
per every man on earth, hut it may
be he waa tired. 'Well, pa was para
lyzed, and he and the other deacon
roshed out to pick up the minister
and the fiat eld man, and when
they struck, the step they went kit
ing. Pa's feet somehow slipped
backwards, and be turned a sum
mersault and struck foil length on
his back, and one heel waa across
LL o
WHOLE NO. 165
the minister's neck. And he slid down
tne steps, ana tne omer aeacon ie.
all over the other three, and pa swore
at them, and it was the worst look-
in? lot of pious people I ever saw.
think if the minister had been in the
woods somewhere, where , nobody
could have heard him, he would
have used language. They all seem
ed mad at each other. The hired
girl told ma there was three tramps
out on the sidewalk fighting pa, and
ma she took the broom and started
to help pa, and I tried to stop ma
'cause her constitution is not very
strong and I didnt want her to do
any flyinir trapeze bizness, but
couldn't stop her, and she went out
with the broom, and a towel tied
around her head. Well, I don't
know where ma did strike, but when
she came m she said she had palpi
tation of the heart, but that was not
the place where she put the arnica.
uu, but she did go through the air
like a bullet through cheese, and
when she 'went down the - steps a
pumpity-bump, I felt sorry for ma.
The minister had got so he could set
on the sidewalk, with his back
against the lower step, when raa
came eliding down and one of the
heels of her gaiters hit the minister
m the hair, and the ether foot went
right through between his arm and
side, and the broom like to push his
teeth down his throat But he was
not mad at ma. As soon as he saw
it was ma he said, "Why, sister, the
wicked stand in slippery places,
dont they 7 and ma she was mad
and said for him to let go her stock
ing, and then pa was mad and said
"look-a-here, you sky-pilot this
thing has gone far enough," and then
a policeman came along and first he
thought they were all drunk, but he
found they were respectable, and be
got a chip and scraped the soap off
them, and they went home, and pa
and ma got in the. house some way,
and just then the letter carrier came
along, but he didn't have any letter
for us, and he didn't come onto the
steps, and then I went up stairs and
T l ri a xfl . t i
x said, ra, uon i, you iuiuk. n is re&i
mean, after you and I fixed the soap
on the steps for the letter carrier,
and le didn t come on the steps at
all, and pa was scraping the soap
off his pants with a piece of shingle.
and the hired girl was putting lini
ment on ma, and heating it in for
palpitation of the heart and pi said,
"You dam idjut no more of this, or
1 11 maul the liver oat of you, and I
asked him if he didn't think soft
soap would help a mustache to grow,
and he picked ma s work basket and
threw it at my head, as I went down
Etairs, snd I came over here. Don't
you think my pa is unreasonable te
get mad at a little joke that he plan
ned hisself?"
' The grocery man Baid he didn't
know, and the bor went oot witb
pair of skates over his shoulders,
and the grocery man is wondering
what joke the boy will play on him
to get even with the cayenne pepper.
Poci' Sun.
. Oceaa Cable.
The machinery used for picking a
cable in both deep and shallow wa
ter is of the most simple description.
It consists of a rope about an inch
and a quarter in diameter, made
from twisted hemp, with interwoven
wires of fine steel ; the grapnel at
the end is merely a solid shaft of
iron some feet long, weighing about
100 pounds, and prolonged into six
blunt hooks, which very much re
semble the partly closed ffingers of
the human hand. In picking up
the cable in deep water, the Minia,
after reaching the waters near the
break, lets out her rope and grapnel
then takes a course 'at right angles to
the cable and at some distance from
the fracture, so that the broken end
may not slip through the grapnel,
the grapnel rope is, attached to a dy
namometer, which exactly measures
the strain of the rope, and shews
unerringly when the cable has been
caught If the grapnel fouls a rock
the strain rises very suddenly and to
a high point ; but the exact weight
of the cable being known, the dyna
mometer signals by the steady rate
or increase its hold on the cable,
which is very far below. The ease
and certainty with which the cables
are picked up in these days is amaz
ing. Awhile ago one ef the lines of
the Anglo American Company was
caught without trouble at a depth of
two and- a quarter miles, near the
middle of the Atlantic captain
Trctt of the Mima, who has won
great fame for his skill and ingenui
ty in cable matters, but recently
picked up the French cable 180
miles off St Pierre, and in four hours
from the time the cable was spliced
and in good working condition.
The splicing is a work of great del
icacy and skill, and when accom
plished by trained fingers, the splic
ed part can scarcely be distinguish
ed from the main cord. So rapid
has been the improvement in per
fecting the modern cable, that the
resistance to the electric current has
been reduced to one quarter of what
it was twenty years ago, while the
duplex system of sending and re
ceiving messages double the capacity
of every new cable laid. The work
ing age of the modern cable is about
thirteen years.
Ashbc BSHAlc, Mass., Jan. 14, 80. '
I have been very sick over two
i.. aw . . a
years. They all gave me up as past
cure. I tried the most skillful phy
sicians, but they . did not reach the
worst part The lungs and bean
ould fill nr) every sight and dis
tress me, and my throat was very
bad. I told my children I never
should die in peace until I had tried
Hop Hitters, l have taken two bot
tles. They have helped tne very
much indeed. I am now well. There
was a lot of sick folks here who have
seen how they helped me, and they
use them and are cored, and feel as
thankful as I do that there is so val
uable a medicine made.
MRS. JULIA G. CUSHiyG.
Sealskin is so much in demand
this year that old ladies can have no
reasonable doebt as to what became
of their cats. 7 ' ' "
: Yoa cant judge of the value of A
man by hie talk any .more than you
can jodje of the value of the tree by
iabatk,, . ''"
, . Buying tb Baby.
I remember that the faraway re
ports of rifles roused as from sleep
in the gray of dawn, and as we stood
on our feet and listened more intent
ly, we could now and then catch the
echoes of an infernal war whoop.
There were twenty of us, miners
all, and we were in the foot hills of
the Rockies, not more than half a
mile fram the great Overland trail.
"Boys, them sounds means an In
jun attack And a butchery," whisp
ered our leader aa we listened ; and
without another word we picked up
our traps and headed for the spot at
a half run.,
Two immigrant families, farmers
from Indiana, who had started for
the land of gold and had separated
from the train from whim or acci
dent had encamped in a bit of green
valley beside the train. There were
thirteen souls of them, and wonder
if the bravest of them did not shud
der with fear as the night crept down
and the howl of the wolf came from
the rocky bills.
Ihe men saw their danger, and
both had set out to act as sentinels
through the long night Hour after
hour had passed away without
alarm, and just as dawn was break
ing the merciless savages; creeping
along like snakes, had found one of
the sentinels asleep. A thrust from
a knife had finished him so quickly
that be did not even throw up his
arms. Perhaps he uttered a single
cry or a groan and alarmed the oth
er, for the second one was shot while
running toward the wagons.
Then, with both men dead, came
the rush upon women and children.
Only fiends could do such work as
was done there, and when we came
to look at it the strongest men in the
party grew white and faint .Every
head but one was scalped, and no
doubt the scalps had been - taken
while the victims lived. The bodies
were hacked and gashed hands and
arms severed, brains beaten out
children flung into the camp fire,
and the spectacle was one to live in
memory when all else had been for
gotten.
The bends bad finished their work
of butchery before we were near
enough to open fire, and it waa poor
consolation to save the wagons.
While all the bodies were yet warm,
lifejhad departed from each and
every one. We were collecting them
in a heap, to make ready for burial,
when a sudden wail started every
body. ;
"Ow ow ow owl.' came the
sound, and each man looked in the
air above and on the ground below.
That ere noise purceeds frum a
baby, or I'm not the father of thir
teen children back in Ohio 1" ex
claimed Jackson as he made for the
nearest wagon.
He was right Down beside a
chest, almost smothered under bed
quilts, was a year old boy baby, but
alas I when he was handed out we
foand that Jie had been fatally
wounded by a bullet Jackson sat
dewn on the grass and chirped to
him and rocked him to and fro,
while the rest of us looked on in
wonder and doubt but in a quarter
of an hour the baby was dead. It
had gone to sleep the night before in
his mother's arms, a battered old
tattle box clutched fast in his tiny
hand, and he never let go of it
There it was in his hand as death
stiffened his fingers around it
W ell, there was a general breaking
down when we saw that the little
one was going. - He threw up his
hands, gasped once or twice, and
then settled back with such a smile
on hia face as babies wear when
their dreams are sweet Old Jack-
son was crying like a cniia, ana
some of the men hid from each other
behind the wagons. It was a long
time before the old man arose, laid
the little body down among the
prairie flowers, and huskily whis
pered: "Well bury him by hisself. One
of them bodies out there was his
mother, but as we cant tell which
from which, well make no mis
take." There was one large grave for the
mutilated remains, and when the
earth had been pressed down above
them and rocks rolled down to pre
vent the work of the wolves, we
went to the centre of the dell and
there, under a long pine, we hollow
ed out a resting place for baby.
When all was ready Jackson took
the baby up in his arms, dropped
his hat on the grass and looked
around and said :
Hats off. men! we are nearer
seein' angels this moraia . than any
of us will ever come again."
Slowly, tenderly, gnevmgly the
ittle form was laid away, and it was
Jackson's coat that came off his back
to cover it before the earth was filled
in. Every single man in our band
took the shovel by turns to fill in
and round up the grave and protect
it and before we went awa, there
was a head board to mark the spot,
and on the board A knife had en
grayed the simple word "BABY P
Detroit Free Prut.
Gat.
Have as few farm gates as possi
ble. Each one is an expense in its
construction and subsequent care.
t never pays to make a poo gate.
The frame should be constructed of
hard and lasting wood, with the slats
of light but durable material. This
gate needs thorough bracing with
strips of wood, or better, rods of iron,
which run from the bottom oi tne
atch to the top of the hinge-end. A
gate thus braced cannot sag, and it
is impossible for it to get out of the
rectangular fdrm. When finished, a
gate should be painted. The farm
gate should be wide enough to per
mit the free passage oi ioaas oi nay
and grain, field rollers and har
vesters. : "'-;;
A most important part is a large,
durable and well - set post upon
which the gate is to.be hung. The
hinge post Bhould not be leas than
eight inches square, and set at least
three snd one half feet deep. The
earth needs to be rammed firmly
amnnrl the rxwt A first class gate is
expensive at the outset, but needs
very little . attention afterward for
several years. , .
A recent brides dowry included
11,000 set of false teeth. 'And her
husband when he speaks of her
precious mouth knows what he is
talking about . .
Infinite toil would not enable you
to sweep away mist, bot by ascend
ing a tittle you may look over it al
together. ,
Never Ieavewbat yon undertake
until von can reach your arms
around it aad clench yoar hands on
the other side. :" ; - -
, A retired ehiranaster visited a
country school the other day, and
said it reminded him of eld time.
It was a L-arsl ched of waii.
to.
fsW