f
I
1
aYiis of Publication.
the
UtrtHO
. ....;.i.hi. I e-' 1
M'!lil''J
Kl annum, n r3" '"
1,1 n.varUh'. "e cswree-j. u altar'
..f ) frnii'rfll
well as the prcseni office.
Address
Somerset Printing Company,
.TWIN I. SOl'1.1.,
Business Manager.
Bu-iinm Card,
V KNEPPFR Phvslelanand Dentist. P,.-rlin
Y y'A Will'giV prompt Mltoli'in lo all cases
eulrusted to his 'am.
ffR .1.1
I I Id Berlin for the practice of his proki-sio
urhce ciMVe Charlen Ensringer s store,
apr. '70-tf. ...
"TT-OSTLETHWAITF A
ness respecllully solicited aud p"""u J
ed to.
1 J. KWSl-.K, ,-vviTLAiV
1 . atiokxE at "
Somerset, Fciina.
TALENTS roi, ..wiU
pruuijptiicss anil nJcluy. -J
iiriLUJM
11.
K(H).TZ. ATHM-- A I :
liut Lutimos ,' iu i-rint,!,.
7..l i . I. t -:iru Ill f -hihtm;!
ml tne ai'ju.n.iii! - ,vi.,,
H usKiiw. '- -
1 ANOTlCll-AKliinKT U. Cflroth lia
dj'.minif (nnllcs.
A reiunirii i lie - - --
uaice In .Mamui'itu UuiMitif.'.
OHN H.
mi. TT(iRNKYATLAW
SUM-
CI't, 1
la. will Dr m.i.'.lv furcn.i u u.. . - . ..
" ....111.,, l (W.l
nlTUHlrd V) llim. ill. "in
,-v ailvam'
a m r"llirc;i.in
fiui in .-uaini"'"-" -
jun. 1, '
ru.
j. fc h. u. bai "! '"".";
. . . . X t' V .2
AT
i vv- i..,..r l i'H.. Will l.T-lU U' V 1"
r-l aua auuiiii'm cum... -
run. J to ttiu will ie iroioi'ily ttu..:
aun. U-ly.
" .1. a,i i...
J li.
itil.BKN ATTOKXLYS AT
1 '
IV LAW,
tionirrsct.
fa. limit iu " " 1 c
DK WM C1JINS, Dl.XTIST, S'Wt.
1-a. Orti.-e In :fctcr s 1'"-W. up Maiw.
l.ere lie canal s.11 tim 1 1-uuJ lirtian-U tuilu
aliktmlsol work, m.-ti an lillinit. T.-auiaiini. x
tractinir, kr. Aftlftviul teeth ol all kuK. ai;l ol
the material, lnstncl. AUoi'iTiitfnn ..r
,a:ite4. JUIie
...wv.i tutMKL ATTi'KN'KY
ATI-AW,
.1 w I',.. i:l ait.n.l to ail I.hmw
en-
.ru.iHln liifi'iirr in iii-rsil nnu an
.limiL' ciun-I'-,'
in ,M:t:u-
t r with i.r.iuipime aun u..ti..j.
in itn liliK k.
1-
1 Til-:y
HEN K Y f. St 'H EI. I ATT IKXEY ATI.A ,
and lmii'y a c Peiini-n Aircnt. . rineiscU
J' (juice iu Malum dh IU" k. Jan. 11-tl.
Avki.oAiTnta.
AlTHl'K tt (iVITHER. Attorneyn at 1-iw.
I k..n,,.rU.i l,-im a. All l.r ili i .n.a 1'U-iik..
.r..mpily attciidL-,1
ttoirf.
Oiii e iu Jlacr J Hlwk, up
J.
ATftiKXEY AT LAW,
v ,m Vv l'r..!i'f-l..nal liufincf c:itrulc 1
o my cure atti'.tde
UiarU'73.
1 tun iih prompt ue j.' and ndelity
A. H. COKFUUTH. w " ' 1
1 . i..w 111 tiui.iiiesi' entruMed t" iln-iri-arewill
( 11 iVFKtJTll k HI ri'l l A l li'ii ' i'l-1
t- ciieedilyaud puil-tually attended to.
( IKKU H Second H.kt ol gout hern end of Mam
moth Muck. Entrance lmtn ltiamon 1.
jan lit.
nli. K. M. kl.ViMl'.L. willcoiit!inict.ipr:iclicc
Mndi.-lne. and tenders l,i iirole.-si"tial servi-
eeS IU ILO C1117.eil ol i-ioiuci i niri
toiiiilrv. tlttlee at me ol.l l.iaee, a lex .i.-i
ol the U'.ade llouc.
nov. S, "1.
UK. II. nRl'HAKV.R tendem bin pr ofei"lonal
tier lees to the eitinns d S.ne.eret n I n in-
intee In ruaideneo, oiie do,.r wett ol the I'.ar
liuune. Jan. 1:1, "7U.
O S.liOOD,
O.
PHYSICIAN A
SUI1GE0X,
somi:issi:t, i
l.
- ti.-rn K In Mammoth lllock. se4'72
Ilrf lollin k lli'iln still continue ibc j rac'.iee ol
I lent nrv are j.repared to perlorm u'.l opiieratioiif
in tie 1 .-1 manner and at sn l"W price' auhe same
kind . . I work can e done anywhere in the State
A lu.l s-t ol tevth lori: double f.-t l..r'.J. All
oniM-ratioiiii warraiitc.l; and teo;h cxir.icUiiwnli-
out pain.
irn.i
J"
HITTER i 0.VMISS10S NEncUiSTS
C7 EXCHANGE PLACE, HALTLMOKE.
IJ'ieml ca?h advances on con'tnnienis anl
teturns jirompll) made,
JJARNET 1 I'SE
Tl:e un.lerlLtied respect nillv Informs the pntv
Ic that he bur leaw.1 this well known hotel in the
Hornuitli nl Somerset. Ills his intention to kei p
I in a j-tvle w nicli lie hopes willnive satislactiou to
all who inn v lavnr him w ith their custom.
Apr7i .mux hill.
IAM0M 1I0TKI..
TOYSTOWX IM.
SAMUEL. Cl'Sri:U, 1'i-oi.rifior.
This poTUr and wel' kn .wn h .nse i at all
times a deeirilde stoj j.n.ir j.la.-e l..r the travehnx
piiOUe. Thle and h.miuf nrstid:i"S. th.df.a
bliiiir. Harks leave daily b r Jnbiutwn and
Somerset. marll.
DK. A . MILLKK, nftor twelve
ycr: active practice In Stmriksvlllc. ha
liow iMriL.amly located at Somerset br tlie prac
tn n( ni ilUi.. and lenders bis proles.-lonal ser-vn-s
to tb eitiiens ol Somerset and vie::d;y.
tirhce in bis liruir Store, opjiosile the H.mi.t
House, where he can t consulted at all time!
unless prrileaidmally enquired.
-iht calls pf.mptlv answered,
dec. II, Il ly.
J)R0FESSI0NAL.
I'r. fcorr H. Fumlenlra. of J"uinl.er'.anl.
Md.. Inlornw his friends that be bus this d jy sso.
t luted with l.tuise l Hi the practice o niedb ine
and surirery, bis son. Dr. Waller K. Eun lenderz.
late the resident urcon ol the Xew ork E.ic
and lnhrmarT.
w;aviat attntb will 1 p:ii '. to the as" id
the Eve and tr.r. la.ir
,1
OlIN WILSON .V SON,
miioi.i.saij: UlUH VMS.
r: 'iTSBUKGir.
i KAssiyrr,
lira .j. Msbi.tn a to! R.ill
Tract ieuJ
.( r.
Work done In the best ma:
ucr kn. vn t
rade and in modern tt le.
Ji'Stair Building made a ptcij!:y.
Inro20 Solicited.
J.oujcTct, Pa., May "
A L TEETH!
D E i T. I S T
DALE CITY, '..;; (V. Pa.,
Artificial Teeth, war anted to 1 i t the vcr U ?t
ittal:tv, Lite. like ar.i ;lar.ls..me. lns. r: iu tilt
tK-ststyle. l'artleuiai attention paid to the pns
rrvBlion of the natural teeth. Those wohlnt
c,mvult ine liyletl.T, cal do so ly cucl.-shig s.y;,;j,.
Address as alrjve. jeliii
THE WONDERFUL
PET CANARY BIRD!
(Patent just Procure.!.)
"II "ILI. slna for hoars can lie managed by r.r.y
riiild. The latest and m.ist won lerlull In
Tetitlon o( tlie.ge. The very thing lor either p tr
ior or out.bier auiucemeut.
SEND FOR SAMPLE AT ONCE.
Hlg payto Agents and to the Trade. Satisfac
tion guaranteed or money promptly returned.
Sent pre paid by mail Ui any address, on receipt of
10 cents, or 3 for 1 00.
Address M R. ROBERTS k CO..
17 Hroadway, New York.
Hi
T. Buzby & Co.,
No. 6 Exchange Place
BALTIMOKE.
I I'l A
VOL. XXIIJ.
Hani.
JOHNSTOWN
B
LIU I.
120 CLINTON
sti:i:i;t.
erf
;5.
..-f-nTi3
CHAP.TED IIST 1B70.
JAMES COtU'EIl,
DAVID DIIiEIlT,
C. 15. ELLIS,
A. .1. IIAV.'ES,
F. W. IIAV.
JOHN LOVr.MAN,
T. II. LAl'SLY,
D. M. L.VU'.IIILIN,
I). J. M iRKELL,
ini v, AITT T T"V
.hi ij l.ii
ja:.ii: mohley
LEWIS I'LITT,
II. A. EOIH.JS,
CONIZADSUPFES,
CEO. T. SWANK,
W. Vv". WALTERS.
DANIEL J. KORuELL, President,
FRANK C.3ERT, Treasurer,
CYP.US ELDCR. Soliciicr.
id oK DOI.I.AK an 1 upward re
ceive.1, and iatcrw: aKowe.1 on all fuiu?, payal.io
twicea year. l:il'.Tc5t i! not drawn out, is added
tuthciriii'lpal Uiu-C'DMl'lU'MiIXiJ TWICE
A YEAK, wiih. int troul.lina the dep "sitor to call
or eveu to present hi? deiKii: l k. M'-ncy can he
withdrawn at any time a.lur ulvinx the Lank cer
tain notice 1-y letter.
MarrleI IVonscn mtd j. Ol sons under
ajtc ciin deposit nioaey in tlieiruwn names, to that
it can he drawn only by them.-'e'.ves or ou their or
der. Moneys can le dcih Filed (orclill lren, or by
i'ictlc?, or as tru.--t ftind?, Su'ee?t to certain cm
diLims. IoaiisSo i:rec! by Ileal Instate.
Copies ill the I!y-Law?, report.", rules of dej-wit,
a; 1 speei-kl act ui Er.-i.-Ialure, relative to i!e.it
ol married w...ro -n atr.! Liin-r.. e m bevMaincd at
the 11 ..nk.
lb:nU:i.u'
I. ..in? dally fr.-rna b r,occk:
...iue.-day.aid Saturday e, clangs
aiei on W'e.i
ilola u to 71.. u'cl-.H ji.
aprl'Ji
jchn d:e:;i:t.
JOITX D B ilif.CTS
JOHN Pir.KUT k CO.,
BA1TEIEBS,
NO. 2-10 MAIN STREET.
joiixs t o v.' x , r j: n x a .
We s-il Drafts nev'tiaMe In all pi;rl of the T'nl
tcd State? and ".nm. las. and in Torcii-'n countries.
Ittiy iold. I'oujh.iis ::id tluveniiiieiit lior.ds at
MkIim.1 BKirknt .rlec. Iian inonev -n approved
SC'llllly. lira!! s nn.l 'lie. k- on iillii.H.nnk.w.j.h.
e.l. Pii.r.ey teceived ondepo.- it ;.nya! leu detnr.iid
An.
i'. m :!! on Tunc Drpo.-l!.
Ev
lsir.a l-i t
Pa:
Lfne receives our;
prompt attcie;,.n.
ThanKml t-i -mr friends an 1 customers for their
past patroim-.:. we s-. li.-it a continuance of the
h.UTie. and in i".e ethers w h,i bae business in our
line to uh e us a trial, assurinir all. thst we shall at
all times do all we c.:a to trive entire satisfaction.
Feb ;l 7e JOHN DlUEiU" k CO.
Cambria County
BANK,
I. AV. KEIAl & CO.,
N. 206 JIAIX STItV.ET,
JOHNSTOWN,PA.,
In Henry S(hnal le"s Erick Euildin;.
A (ii'iH-ral I'atilini? Ilusiness Transacted.
IraP.s and Gold an.l si'.rcr hoituht nnd sol,l. j
C His.;ioi:s made in all parts oi the I 'lilted States !
and Canada. Interest allowed at the rate ol six I
per cent, per annum. 11 kit tix months ..r l.nirer. j
Seci:il arrangements lo ide viih ti aardian and
others who hold Uii.nevs in '.vu:L. I
april 18 7;i. " 1
CARPETING.
Henry IVIcCallum,
HI i'iflh Arcane,
PITTSBURGH, PA.
Imp iris direct :ro:a Manufa -:nr.r.c,
Superior Xtli-ii Oil i'lotlis,
llKUSSKLS CARPETS, kc,
RAO, HEMP Vi,l INGRAIN CARPETS
In every varkty.
:. riFTII A V EXIT.,
Above Weed strrrt.
ft
k. 7kt?i Kir
Iiire.-tf-r. fir scir-mcr.stire sent en np II. ;
I'erl.-ct Fiiiir.g bin ot eve.-v ut scri.io.i
a . in stoi k i. i, J narranted to ti'..
JAJiLS H. A IK EX.
I'ir.ll IlVUlUe. l-pp-rSite I'l.StollicC.
''i'e rinsm'iidH.r.i.
E. D t Will's.
OWENS & SCOTT,
IJuUer Coiiinilssioii House,
153IV. Pratt St.,
BALTi&lORE.
sepi
WM. BOOSE & Co.,
SALISBURY, : : PEXX'A.,
Manufacturers of all k'.c.'.s of
CASTINGS & MACHINERY
)r iers l.y mail promptly attended to.
Ad.iref. V."M. H SE,k CO.,
Salisbury, Elkd, k P. o. Somerset e.... Pa.
Ursina Lime Kilns.
Theuii.:rrs:tLiudarerii ;.n.l !, I un.l.-li .
Prime Building Lime
By the Car Load.
Orders Eespectfully Solicited.
, . . . r. j. ratzi:r a co.
.rina.JunelS.
SAYINGS
AK
E
i
i
i
i
CI
Miscellaneous.
'3
This unnvalcd Soutliern Kcmclyln warranted
nm to contain a flnifle fiartii ol Mercury, or any
! injurious unueral tuustance, t ut la
j PURELY VEGETABLE,
o-ntnlnlne tho?e Southern K t anil Herb wlilch
! an all-wir PruvuU-nco has plawd in countriei
j whore LivtT IiUvski mort prevail. It will cure
all lii-en!K'8caMscd bv leniiiK"ni'nt of the Urer.
I The Symptoini f IJiit Cimil:iiut are a hitter
ortia.l t.iiitu in the mouth; Pain In the Hack. Siilee
or Joints oiit'n mistaken fi-r Klieumati.'in: Sour
' tive and lax: Headache: I-f.' of Memory, with
i a p:iiu!ul vendition of havine failed to do nome-
Stomach; Ixips it Aptetil: Ji.iwfls alternately
tiling wlrich oui:ht to have been done; Debility,
Low Spirits, a thickyelli w apjicarance of the Skin
and eyes, a dry t'oui?h often mistaken for Con
sumption. Sometimes many of these symptoms
nrteiid the Us,'ase, at others very lew; tiut the
Liver, the largest onran in the body, is irencrally
the seat of I lie. disease, and If not regulated in
time, irreat sulierir.n, wretchedness and DEATH
will ensue.
This GreM Unfailing SPECIFIC will not be found the
Least Unpleasant.
F. r DY'PPF.PSIA. CONSTIPATION, Jaun
dice, liilious attacks. SICK HEADACHE, Colic,
Depiess'.on of Spirits, SWVR STUMAC'H, Heart
JJuiti, kc., kc.
SiBEM' Li7u Elatcr, or Kslidse,
I? the cheapest, Purest and Vest Family Medicine
lu the world.
MASfFAr-rrnKD oj.lt by
J. H. ZEILIN & CO.,
MACON, OA., and PHILADELPHIA
Friee $1. Sold by all Dnisrgisls.
For sale bvJKcn ford, k ICimmel, Somerset, Pa.
juha
rpiIE 1IEST PUMP
J THE VORLD!
THE AMERICAN SUBMERGED
Double-Ac: Ins, Non-Frecilng
Tinier isum!
The Sliridost, Most Powerfnl, Elfeetlve, Dura
ble. Reliable and Cheapest l'uuip In use.
It is made all of Iron, and of a few simple parts.
It Trill cot Frrczr. as no water remain la the
pipe hen not in action.
It lias nc leather or aruta parting, as tho sucker
ai;d valves are an ol iron.
It seldom, If ever, frets out of order.
It will force water from 40 to 60 reel In the air. by
attaching a few lect of imsc.
It is" irood for washing RuiriricS, Windows, watcr
ir.r Gardens, kc
"it furnishes the purest and coldest water, because
1: is placed in the (tottoui ol the well.
Teums: 1 inch Puir.i, 15; pipe, Me. V foot.
'I 18; ' eac '
Larger iiies in priportlon.
IW EY AN D'kPL ATT.
Sole Aircnts l..r Somerset County.
Somerset, Pa., May 1st, 117.!.
JpNEIlAL POINT
PLANING MILL
A. Growall"& Son.
We are n..w prepared to do all kinds of I'laning
and Alanulacttiriuu ol building material.
FL(M IKING,
MOCLDIXtl.
WEATHER HOARDING
S.VSII AND DOORS
m'ixd o r a xd d o on in a mes,
In short anything generally e 1 in house build
lni;. All ordei-s promptly hlled. manS
LATE HOOFS. '
hose who a;., now building houses should know
that it is elieajK-r in the long run to put on Slate
R.ilsthan tin or shingles, slate will last forever,
and no repairs are renHired. Slate gives the pur
est water lor cisterns. Slate is tire proof. Every
iri.od house should have a slate roof. The under-siL-Tie.1
is located in Cumberland, where he has a
good supply ot
Peachbcttom &. Buckingham
SLA.
T
E
I f r rooffing the very host article. He will under-
take to put Slate R.n.is on Houses. public and prl
I vate. spin's, ke., either in town or country at the
j lowest prices, and to warrant them. Call and see
him or address him at No. i Hod fori St.. Cum
i berl;:nl, Md. (inters mav be lcit with John A.
Walter, Aircnt, Somerset, Pa.
oct8 WM. II. SHIPLEY.
CKOUSE & SHIRES
Manufacturcrs'of Seed and.Havanna
CIGARS.
BEDFORD, PA.
Orders Solicited. No an; lu ri red agent.
j OlMMONS k CO.,
j jtArFACTi nEi:8 ani MiAi,i:cg is
j FIX E CIGARS and the best brands of
j Xavy and Ilriht Tobaccos,
40S Market Street, Above ronrtli,
PHILADELPHIA.
SC
FENCE PICKETS.
We rurr.if:i tb.i Tickets made In.m 3-S Huh
Round In a. like design shown In cut. at
Qcts PER LINEAL FOOT.
Tl.evm.ake a H ANDSOMER, MORE DURA
Itl-EatidCHEAPEU FENCE than the Wooden
Pickets
KEXI) l.-on CIUCULAIl TO
lewis, Oliver & Phillips,
Manufacturers of KERCH A ANT II A R IRON
GATE and BARN DOOK H IXGES . ItoLTS
N I TS. W ASH ERS. and their New Lineoi PAT
ENT ED WAGON HARDWARE.
For sale by all Iron and Hardware
Dealers.
UIA. 02 Wafer Street and 111
and lltt rirfct Are. Pittsburg.
mayJO
A
(iEXTS WAXTi:i.
loo A genu wanted to sell 10 domestic articles
which sell on. sight In cvry family. Our agents
are making fnan ii to 10 jier day, selling our
(mods. Send 2i ou. and posugestamp for sample
and terms to agents. E. F. FITCH k CO., No.
St. Mb Avenue , Pittsburgh, Pa,
wayut
m
I
ab I A -
i 'niTTTiJFn-: nrnni
-; '" . : -' - - " -.
p ;a . -jli
SOMERSET,
ox itorssEAr-s isle.
BY JOAQriS XtLLEB.
Alone an-1 sad I sat me down
To rest on Rousseau's narrow isle.
Below Genera. Mile on mile,
And set with many a shining town,
Tow"rd Dent du Midi danced the wavo
Beneath the moon. Winds went and came.
And fanned the stars Into flam.
I heard the far lake, dark and deep,
Rise up and talk as in Its sleep,
I heard the laughing waters lavo
And lap against the farther shore.
An idle oar, and nothing more
Save that the Isle had voice, and fate
That round about its base of stone
There plashed and flashed the foamy Rhone.
A stately man, as Mack as tan.
Kept up a stern and broken round .
Among the strangers on the gn.nnd.
I named that awful African
A second Hannibal. I gat
My elbows on the table, sat
With chin in upturned palm to scan
His face, and contemplate the scene.
The miKin rode by a crowned queen.
I was alone. Lo! not a man
To speak my mother-lounge. Ahmel
How more than all alone can be
A man In crowds .' Across the Islu
My Hannibal slrodc on. The while
Diminished Kousser.u sat his throne
Of books, unnoticed and unknown.
This strange, strong man with face anstir'
At last drew near. He bowed ; he spake
In unknown tounges. I could but shake
My head. Then, half a-chill with fear,
I rose and sought another place.
Again I mused. The kings of thought
Came by, and on that storied spot
I lifted up a tearful faco.
The star-set Alps they sang a tuno
Unheard by any soul but mine.
Mount Cl.ine, as lone and as divine
And white, seemed mated to the mooa.
The past was mine, strong voiced aad vast ;
Stern Calvin, strange Voltaire, aod Tell.
And two whose names arc known too weU
To name, In grand procession passed.
And yet again came Hannibal,
King-like he came, and-drawins near,
I saw his brow was now severo
And resolute. In tmnges unknown
A gain he spake. I was alone,
Was all unarmed, was worn and sad ;
But now at last my spirit had
Its old assertion. I arose,
As startled from a dull repose.
With gathered strength 1 raised a hand.
And cried, 'I do not understand 1'
His black face brightened as I spake;
He boweJ; lie wagged his woolly head :
He showed his shining teeth, and said,
'Sar, if yua please, doso tables hero
Are consecrate to lager beer;
And, Sar, what will you have to take?'
Not that I loved that colored cuss
Nay, he had awed mc all too much
Em I sprang forth, and with a clutch
I gra?id his hand, and holding thus,
Cried, -Bring my country's drink for two "
For oh ! that speech of Saxon sound
To me was as a fountain found
Iu waftes, and thrilled me through aad Ukr.uj'i.
On Rousseau's Isle, in Ronsseau's shaile,
Two pink and spicy drinks were nuidc;
In classic shade, on classic ground,
We stirred two cocktails round and round.
HOWMIE 11D IT.
I'cter Pennywise was in deep
grief. All the hopes of a life-time
were to be frustrated. The fond am
bition Le had so long u uracil, his pet
scheme to make th name of Pennv-
wie the greatest in tho land, was no
more. 11 is only son, Launcelot, was
to be married, and married to a pc-
bleiau to a erirl who had wealth but
no name, no iamilv ancestry, or no
coat-of-arnis on the panel of her
coach.
Could human misery be greater.
Could the Ossa of grief piled on the
Pelion of disappointment make a
heavier load of sorrow ? Xo. The
cup of Pennywise was full to the brim
and he must drain it to the lees, how
ever bitter the draught, fcucu was
the tenor of old Penny wise's musings
ns he paced the velvet carpeted floor
of his library on the evening when
our story opens. A conversation
his son had with Lim as thev sat
together sipping thoir wine after din
ner, had been the cause of thi3 tu
mult in the breast of Peter Penny
wise.
Launcelot was a weak eyed
and pink-skmncd youth, with thin
yellow hair, which he parted in the
centre, and a little wisp of saffron
whisker on'each side of Lis face, the
pulling of which with his nirvous
little Laud constituatcd tho principal
employment of the scion of the house
of I ennywise.
"lather," said Launcelot, after
gulping down two or three glasses
of wine to give him courage. "Fath
er."
"Well, ray son, what do you want?"
asked the pompous head of the bouse
"What do you think of marriage?"
"What do I think of what?" ques
tioned the surprised Penny wise.
"Marriage," . replied Launcelot.
"Matrimony; you know. Two hearts
with but single thought, two souls
that beat as one, and all that".
"I think that every man should
mai n', and I would be glad to hear
that you had fixed your affections on
sonic lady with the proper qualifica
tions." said Pcnnywise.
"What are the proper qualifica
tions?" inquired Launcelot.
'Family,' replied his father, "fam
ily whatever else 3ou do, be sure
never to disgrace the name of Pen
ny wise by a plebeian connection."
"Why is our family such a very
great one?" demanded the young
man.
"A great one!" echoed Penny wise;
"why, it s the greatest in the land
Study carefully the genealogical tree
that hangs in the hall, which cost me
five thousand to have properly traced
and vou will see that the name of
Pcnuywise was a3 well known as
that of William at the time of the
Xorman conquest, and that the coat-of-arms
is one of the most respectable
and ancient that ever heraldry boas
ted of."
"Well, of course that's all true,
father; but Pre heard some of the
fellows at the cliib say that grand
father was a pawn ,"
"Your grandfather was a broker
and banker as I myself am, and was
fully aware of the responsibility of
being worthy of his family," said Mr.
Penny wise, intcrupling his son;
"therefore he began my education by
impressing tho value of a family name
upon my young mind, and so, when I
had grown older, and he intimated to
mc that I ought to marry the highest
respectable Miss Poundfoolish, I
went to that lady, proposed, and was
accepted. Thus I consolidatad the
two great families of Penny wise aud
1 oundfoolisb, and you and your two
sisters are the result. But you asked
my opinion of matrimony are you
thinking of rnnrrvino-?''
"Ye es sir," gasped Launcelot. I
"And whom do you propose horyf-j
ing with your name?"
a
ESTABLISHED, 182
PA., WEDNESDAY,
"Miss a Miss reterslam," answer
ed youthful Pennywise.
"Petersham Petersham; I never
heard of a Petersham.- Who is she?"
demanded the gentleman, with a
darkening brow.
"She is very rich."
And Launce faltered.
"Eiches are very well, but you do
not need them. Your mother left
you all her fortune, and I shall leave
youhalf of mine if you marry as I wish.
''Who is this this Petersham? Wha
does her father do?"
"He keeps a large clothing estab
lishment." "What!" roared Pennywise. "A
tailor? It shall not be. The arms of
Pennywise shall never be marred
with a needle or disfigured by
sreat heaven a goose! It shall
never be never never!"
"It must be!" said Launcelot, going
to the door, "cause I've 'popped,'
and she's accepted me."
The old man mechanically arose
and walked to his study, where he
began pacing the floor, as we found
him at the commencement of our
story.
A gentle knock on the library door
aroused Mr. Pennywise, and bidding
the knocker to come in, he seated
himself in his easy chair, and pre
pared to receive his visitors.
The visitors proved to be the gov
erness of the two Misses Pennywise
aged twelve and the other fourteen
whose disorderly conduct and will
ful "destruction of wardrobe and text
books .occasioned many a visit to the
library, after tho dinner-hour, by the
governess.
She was a neat, pretty little body
this governess, and had often attract
ed the notice of the young bloods who
came to visit Launcelot, but she paid
not the slightest attention either to
their compliments or glances, at
tending quietly to her pupils, and
seeming wholy wrapped in their
charge. In fact Charlie Gushington
who was falling in love with every
girl he met, once observed of her to
Launcelot.
"Launce, that governess gal!
what's her name? Amy Dorr? ain't
got any heart. The only thing she
could love would be more pupils, or
plenty of money."
"Good evening, Mis3 Dorr," said
Penny wise.whcn Amy had entered
the library. "What can I do for you
this evening?"
"Excuse me sir," said Amy, hesita
tingly. "I wish to see you about
my pupils, but I can see you are
grieved and agitated, and a3 I fancy
1 know the cause of your agitation, I
will not annoy you. with my common
place complaints."
"You know the cause?" . gasped
Pennywise. " ' '""
"Yes sir; I have no wish to intrudo
my opinions or my knowledge, but
the cause of your grief is, I imagine
of your son, and I think he is acting
most foolishly."
"You are right, Miss Dorr," asser
ted the old gentleman "you
are right. lie is acting most
foolishly most foolishly."
"Cannot you prevent it?" asked the
Xo; I am powerless powerless.
He will wed the tailor's daughter,and
disgrace the great, the aristocratic
name of Pennywise."
There was a smile playing around
the corners of Miss Dorr's mouth, and
a satirical twinkle in her eye, as
Mr. Pennywise spoke of his aristo
cratic name.
"Can you not threaten to disinherit
him.'" she asked.
"Xo use no use," groaned the
disconsolate Pennywise; "he has half'
a million left to him by bis mother.'
"A half a million!" cried Amy, an
the smile and twinkle faded away
leaving her face stern and calculating
looking.
"Mr. Pennywise, this marriage
would be scandalous. Listen; I know
Miss Petersham very well, in fact she
considers me her intimate friend "
"My son's wife the intimate friend
of a governess," signed Pennywise
regardless of the feelings of the girl
before him.
"Yes," replied Amy, not heeding
the insult; "but she is only a tailor's
daughter."
"Alas! alas! too true, too true" said
the unfortunate Pennywise.
"Air. Pennywise," continued Amy'
"you are rich, very rich, and I - am
poor very poor. You regard this
marriage as a disgrace to your
family. I think I can prevent it.
What will you give me if I do?"
"My dear Miss Dorr," cried old
Pennywise, jumping up from his
chair, "if you can prevent my son
from marrying that tailor's daughter
I will bestow upon you ten thousand
dollars." ;
"Tis a bargain," said the govruess
"Please write a little agreement to
this effect: That as soon as I give you
proof that Misss Petersham is mar
ried to some one else than your son
you will pay me the sum often thous
and dollars."
"Married to'some one else than me
son! ' said Pennywise, as he was
wirting the agreement. ,
"Yes," ansmered Amy, "that is my
I will make her mary a young winn
I have in my mind now."
"Uut mj' son will not permit it;
lie is fascinated by this tailor's daugh
ter." "I will see that he permits it," the
governess said, ta king the agree
nient Mr. Pennywise had drawn up
and signed. "My duty is to prevent
the marriage of Miss Petersham."
"Yes," said the old man, "do that
and I will bless you;'! and the iuter
view ended.
For the week immediately follow
ing the evening the forgoing conver
sation took place. Miss Amy, very
much to their delight, abseuted her
self entirely from her pupils; and she
might have been seen any afternoon
walking arm in arm with the lovely
Miss Petersham.
During the walks, somehow, Mr.
Charley Gushington invariably met
the two ladies and " joined tbein in
their walk nor did he ecw to re.
gard the meetings as at fl unexpect
ed. The fact was tbt the wily Gov
erness had introduce Mr. Gushing
ton to Miss petersham, and was, un
known to Jfiem fanning the flame
that they declared was
both their young hearts.
' '
Three weeks bad passed since tho
night Miss Amy had agreed to pre-
J.
U If
7.
JUNE ,17 1S74.
vent the marriage of young Pen
nywise with Mis3 Petersham, when
one morning the governess presented
herself to the clerks in the office of
Mr. Pennywise, and asked te see thai,
gentleman. She was ushered into a
private office where she found tho ar
istocratic Pennywise very much sur
prised at his visitor.
"To what good fortune am I in
debted for this visit?" he asked, wheel
ing around from his desk.
"To the best of fortune," ans
wered tho governess. "Please re.id
this advertisement that I am going to
insert in to-morrow morning's pa
pers," nnd she handed him a slip of
paper on which he rea l the follow
ing: GusiiixcTOX Petersham. On
the 17th inst., at Grace Church by
the Ilev. Jeremiah Waller, D. I",
S. T. D.. Mr. Cash. Gushiiijrton to
Emeline, eldest daughter of Jacob
Petersham. Esq., all of this city. Xo
cards."
"My dear Miss Dorr," said Penny
wise, jumping up from his chair, "you
have saved the family-you have done
wonders I owe you a debt of grati
tude I can never pay."
"Well, here is a debt you owe mc
you can pay," said Amy, producing
the agreement. "I will thankyou for
ten thousand dollars in greenbacks. I
don't want a check. I want the mon
ey." "My dear Miss Dorr,"' said the
banke: , "if it took my last dollar I
would not repudiate your claim."
And, drawing a check for the
amount, he called a messenger, and
bade him go to the bauk and get .ten
thousand dollar notes. After the
messenger had departed ou his errand
Pennywise turned to the governess,
and said:
"How did my son bare tho news
that Miss Petersham was false to him?
Thank Heaven, my family will not
be disgraced."
When he first discovered that Miss
P. wa3 receiving attentions from Mr.
Gushington, he threatened to commit
suicide; but I finally induced him to
listen to reason, and he attended the
ceremony last night."
"Cut how did you effect this alter
ation in him?You are a witch; or I
should say a good fairy. How did
vou do it?"
"Will the boybclongatthc bank?"
asked the governess.
"Xo ho is here now. I sco you
want your money before you give
your information; quite right. Well
there, it is," and he handed her tho
money.
Miss Amy walked to the other end
of tho room and placed the money
safely in her bosom. Then turning
to Mr. 1'ennywiao eho said:
"Mr. Pennywise you asked mo how
I obtained your sons consent to the
marriage between Mr. Gushington
and Aliss Petersham." .
"And saved my son from an alli
ance to a woman socially beneath
him," interrupted Mr. Pennvwise.
"You marvel among women, will vou
tell me?"
"I will."
"How did you do it?"
"I married him myself. Good
morning, sir."
A Peculiar Fish.
Thc Fish of Paradise is one of the
most peculiar of Chinese fresh water
fish. It is small in size, a pale gray
in color, and, at first sight having but
little about it to attract attention.
As soon as the animal becomes ex
cited however tho long and forked
shaped tail spreads into a kind of fan
and the stripes upon the sides of the
fish become yellow, red and and blue,
constantly changing iu color. The
scales seem to become opalescent and
reflect the light with tho greatest
brilliancy, -while the eyes appear
illuminated with a bluish green fire.
The habits of the animal are as odd
as its appearance. The males take
charge of the young and build the
nest. The latter is simplv a clod of
foam floating upon the water, and
is made by the fish rising to the
surface and alternately absorbing
and expelling air, until a little cluster
ot bubbles, hardly three-tenths of an
inch sqqare, is formed. The female
then deposits her eggs, which are at
once seized upon by the male, who
carric3 them in his mouth to the
nest. Then he watches their incuba
tion carefully guarding them with
wonderful sagacity evenly throughout
the mass of foam. When they clot
together he pushes them apart with
his nose, and, besides keeps up
a continual manufacture of bubbles
until the eggs are lifted up above Ute
water and rest only upon their soit
couch. As soon osthc embryos ap
pear, his care is doubled. He watcl
cs that none escape; and in case some
become separated ho chases them,
catches them in his mouth, and re
places them carefully iu the nest
If one becomes injured, be removes it
from the others, gives it a separate
bubble by itself, and apparently
nurses it until it regains its strength.
An Insenloun l'unniuc Item.
Puns well stuck to, are sometimes
as good as wit. Lady Darker, whose
name is not unknown iu literature
has been appointed manager of the
Xational School of Cookery in Lon
don, wheieupon the rail Mall Ga
zette remarks. "Her thoughts in the
kitchen range perpetually, wo should
imagine, over a wide, various and
fruitful field. While her pupils are
busily engaged around her, the mid
day dripping reminds her of the mid
night oil, and she pauses to recall the
verses of Eliza Cook or the labors of
Mrs. Fry, or the poems of Mr. Brown
ing, percbauce. Then, too, the very
grate will suggest Ilobbs, the sauc-i
pau Handel, the salamander Lurns,
the scollops Shelly, the frying-pan the
inductive philosophy of Bacon, and
the stew-pan the physical experiments
of Boyle. What more natural than
to dwell ou the sad fate of Sir Cloudes
ly Shovel or the successful expedi
tion of Sir Samuel Baker; the delight
ful humor of Charles Lamb or the
pacific policy of Mr. Pease; the
'Euclid' of Potts, the worship of Pan,
or Mr. llupert Kettle's attempts at
arbitration; Mr. Grevy's Presidency
of the French Assembly or tho pres
ant embroilment of the Due do Brog
lie ; Mr. Fowle's Broad Church views
or Mr. Partridge's democratic theo
ries; Mr. Spring Rice's speeches in
the House of Commons or Sir Fred
erick Currie's operations in India ?"
TT " Ik 1
I" P f If O I f H
il JL vl. CyCiJL
Regularity.
Very few persons understand bow
greatly health and happiness in this
world depend upon the regularity of
daily habits tne constant recurrence
of those events which we are apt to
refer to a3 tiresome and monotonous.
Durin? the early and later periods of
life this "even tenor" is essential to
our well-being; and though we may
feel like kicking the traces when at
the summit of power and activity,
and sometimes fly off at tangents, or
get rid of our superfluous energies in
odd and eccentric ways, yet we usual
ly come back, or at least try to come
back, to our moorings, and gladly
accept the treadmill path of daily
duty, which, if it brings no ecstatic
pleasures, leaves no remorse.
To infancy, absolute regularity in
habits of food, sleep, clothing and
cleanliness cure many ills and lay the
foundation of a useful and honored
life. . This is the task of t'je intelli
gent mother, and to no person less
competent should it be delegated.
Feed a child with healthful food,
cooked in precisely the same way,
at exactly recurring intervals ; put
it to sleep with faithful minuteness
in regard to time ; have its clothes
uniformly protective and comforable,
not too cocl, and not exhaustive from
warmth ; give it fresh air, cither in
well-ventilated rooms or out-doors
every day ; bathe it at night in tepid,
in the morning in cold water, and the
child will grow thriving and healhty
and happy.
But there must be no cessation by
even so much as the failure to scald
a cup or a saucepan in the routine;
there must be no careless use some
times of warm, sometimes of cold
water, or, again, the omission of the
bath altogether. The food must be
prepared in the same way, with the
same nicety of proportion, or evil
results will, as they do, most surely
follow. Only faithful intelligence
can work itself out by such exact
processes, though we all enjoy more
than we think, being subjected to
them.
Everyone can understand how dis
agreeable it would be not to be able
to make sure of one's dinner ; to be
deprived of bed and sleep ; to lose
the enjoyment of abundance of good
water, a daily bathe and a daily
paper; but upon the recurrence of
how many more and much smaller
minutia do we depend for our daily
comfort ? We like certain kinds of
bread at every meal, wo want meat
always cooked, in certain favorite
ways, and we expect to find it as
naturally as we expect the sun to
shine. We get used tp seeing certain
things iu certain places, and we would
not mis3 them upon any account. A
tree, a bush, a picture or a chair
which occupies tho same place for
years acquires a value to our con
sciousness whL-h only the habit of
seeing it can give it. The world
seems very large in growth and full
of many and varied interests, but it
contracts a3 we grow older and the
objects of value to us narrow them
selves down to those which we know
to be real and which form our lives.
aturany, as tnese giow lewer in
number they giow dearer, and the
more we dislike to miss them from
sight and sense. Xo lives are so hap
py as those that are so well ordered
that there is little to resign, and to
which, therefore, every year brings
added interest and added enjoyment
in the regular discharge of individual
and social duty. X. Y. Daily Grajih
if. The MuKer with the old Mud.
A young man of Canton, Penn.,
accompanied his fair Flora home oae
evening recently, and lest they should
waken the "old folks" she took him
into the kitchen. Time went and the
fire went out, and for fear his adored
might take her death o' cold he built
a fire with the kindlings the old man
had carefully prepared and laid on
the hearth for the morning. After
this had burned low he took his de
parture. Xext morning ere the shrill
note of the chanticleer had died away
a solitary and shivering individual
in scanty drapery with teeth chatter
ing might have been seen groping his
way to the kitchen stove after view
ing two chair3 that sat in the middle
of the room, struck a match and me
chanically reached for his kindling.
It wasn't there, he felt on the stove,
under the stove, and finally opened
the stove door and a few embers that
flickered a moment r-nd then expirtd
told him the story, lie sat down on
the wood box to meditate; pictur
esquely he rose again as the ther
mometer noted below zero, and be
was not suitably attired for meditat
ing in a sitting posture. Then he
began to quote and the more his wife
interrogated hini as to the cause of
Lis prolonged aoscuce, the more he
quoted. Finally he loconioted toward
the wood shed found a caud'e box
which lie demolished with much vehe
mence and ere long in that kitchen
was a roaring fire, and now the old
man wants to see Flora's "feller."
lie wishes to converse with him.
Scene in a Detroit Police Court.
"David Bell, standing here in the
prime of life, with a red nose and a
wilted collar, you are charged with
vagrancy," remarked his Honor.
"Vagrancy, cb!"
"Yes. sir, that's the charge, writ
ten in letters an inch high, and yet
you are young, hive a constitution
like rioarding house butter, a foot as
large as a candle box, and for some
reason decline to earn your own bread
and butter."
"I do, t h ?'
"Yes, sir, you do. You have been
wandering about the alleys, sleeping
on the wharves, and standing ou the
corners, while even tho cripples have
labored for honest bread."
"They have, eh ?"
"Yes, sir, they have, and you ought
to feel ashamed of yourself, and
go aud drown yourself, sir. But
you won't do it, and I'll send you to
the Work House for four months."
"You will, ch?"
"Yes, sir, I will. Take him to the
Black Maria, Bijah, and if you can
get an eight ounce tack, under him,
the ride will do him much more
good."
A man hangs himself and "no
cause" is assigned, when every one
must know the rope was the cause.
V() 1
-v.
On the Edge of Death.
Buffalo, X". Y., June 1. About
11:30 o'clock this morning a painter j
named Win. McCullough, whowastj :lU
at work on the Second Sister I.-Iand I .
Bridge, above Xiagara Falls, by some
mischance fell into the raging cur
rent beneath. The water at this
point rushes and surges along toward
the cataract, three-quarters of a mile
below, with irresistablc force. All
along tho 'stref.m, down the brink of
the American fall, the bed of the
river is thickly studded with huge
boulders, around and over which the
current seethes and boils as if in fury
at the obstructions. It was down
this frightful channel that the unfor
tunate man was swept with the ve
locity of a whirlwind. His doom
appeared to be sealed, for nothing
short of a miracle could rescue him
from the clutches of '.he angry
waters, and the fearful plunge over
the falls below.
It seemed as though he must have
drowned long before reaching the
cataract, but he did not. Xcither
did he gj over the falls. In a short
time after falling from the bridge,
he was seen standing erect upon a
rock that lifts itself above the water
in the rapids.
Here he appeared to be as far from
human aid as before, for it was almost
certain death to go to his rescue.
But a hero was found equal to the
emergency, and, amid the wildest ex
citement among the throng who now
lined the shore, preparations for his
rescue were made.
A rope was securely fastened to
tho bank some distance above, and
Thomas Conway, who had volun
teered for the hazardous undertaking,
succeeded in reaching the place
where McCullough was standing.
By means of the rope both men
were safely hauled ashore.
Strange as it may be, McCullough
was not injured in the least, and will
probably be about to-morrow, none
the worse for his perilous bath.
ANOTHER ACCOUNT OF THE PERILOUS
adventure.
Xiagara Falls, X Y., June 1.
This village was the scene of a terri
ble excitement this morning in conse
quence of a painter named McCul
lough, who was employed in pointing
the bridge leading from Goat Island
to the Three Sisters, having fallen
from the bridge into the rapids be
low. He drifted with the current to
a point within forty feet of the falls,
where he found anchorage in the mid
dle of the stream that separates the
islands by coming in contact with a
rock, to which he clung. In a few
moments the news of the accident
spread like wildfire through the vil
lage, and an immense crowd ot spec
tators gathered to look at the unfor
tunate man's perilous situation, from
which it seemed impossible to rescue
him. McCullough had given up al
hopes of being aided; his arms and
body were fast becoming benumbed
and losing their hold on the 6lippery
rock, when a shout went up from the
spectators which told him that an
was nigh. In that vast crowd
which had assembled on the islands
and bridges, there was but one man
who was willinsr to risk his own life
in trying to snatch a fellow-creature
from out the jaws of death. Tom
Conway, a fruide at the Cave of
Winds, jumped into the rapids, and,
holding in his left hand the end or
rope and swimming down the current
he reached McCulioujrh in safety.
He immediately tied the rope around
himself and the nearly exhausted
man, and they Avere both safely
landed ashore in a few moments.
McCullouadi was badly bruised about
toe bead and body. A purse was
immediately taken up for Conway,
who is to-niirht the hero of the hour.
How Often to feed.
A writer in the Xcw Eiujlaad
Homestead takes ground against feed
ing cattle in winter more than twice
a day. He advises "giving the poor
est fodder first, interlading with grain
if wc feed erain and a refreshing
ration of roots, topping off with the
best hay before watering. After
watering, give nothing for five or six
hojrs. It is an ancient practice, and
quite in accordance with the nature
of neat cattle. They will pull in hay
like a cutter, almost, and swallow it
with less grinding, just stow it away for
the time being, to raise and chew
upon and get the good of by and by
every particle ot it u noi inter
rupted by another feeding, it will
not do to" say that a cow is used to
eating all the time in summer. She
takes her intervals for chewing the
cud while in pasture ; the best milkers,
as I have observed, doing that most
regularly. In winter it is somewhat
different. A cow will gather loose
hay enough in forty minutes to keep
her ruminating for six hours. In
deed, if you go softly to your stables
before feeding in the morning, you
will find your most thriving animals
still grinding at the remnants of the
last night's foddering extracting the
last mite of nutriment from the woody
fibre."
From personal experiment we have
found that sheep as well as cattle do
as well when fed but twice a day.
The same physiological arrangement
of the digestive organs would indicate
that a similar course should be pur
sued in eeding both cattle and sheep.
A Had Joke.
An individual aged
about thirty
i'ears, Whose name it is nor onu
while to inentfon, mistook a lady on
School street for an acquaintance of
his, and followed her into a hotel, a
Boston paper says. Xot succeeding
in attracting her attention, and espy
ing a pockethandkerchief protruding
from her pocket, he approached her
carelessly and drew the fabric from
her pocket and passed out of the!
parlor. This was observed by the-
lady and a gentleman in her compa
ny, and the joKer, not being recogniz
ed by the lady, was regarded .as a
pickpocket, and then and there de
tained until an officer was brought in.
The joker told Lis story and looked
lucop, w a a la&uu vw i
tnlil his story and
i.-i.'.j Tho hnniiL-rrehief
.... rat..rr1 and a3 no one cared I
to prosecute the joker went Lome.
It was in Troy and he only had an
innocent flirtation with her, but her
husband killed him as an example.
.. ?ffH!ol DrcllraUou.
, Max Adder's new book, " Out of
tuollnrly Burly."' contain th f'
1'T.ving dedieation. 1
j ''Tl-si'AtxX !::V;nt;.in n ,, ,i i--ii:-
t ate this twi-.'s f .0 f,f liiy
!.. A:;in l,;0 ;;.. tho ImmJin
tf Muscat, ice ii.ci.iury of tlie happy
j days when i.iuh'.T tfO pi tyett mar.
v bles in the Oman desert, aud ducked
V 'f ch other i;i t!;o Per-i.m (u!f, and
''tortured inoffensive cats on the Inland
Kishra. But I have changed my
jfltind; I have resolved to dedicate
i thi5 book to a humo.'ist who has had
" ; too little famo, to the m-jst delicious
' Realise the most urco-.iscious humor
ists, to that widely scattered am
and
multitudipous comedian who may be
expressed in tie concrete as the Intelli
gent Compositor. To Lis faculty cf per
petrating fclicitious absurdities'! am in
debted for lau-.rbtor that is worth a
i i i "...
uu.mri'ti groans. - it was Le who, put-
type an article of mine
wn-.cli contained the injunction;
not cast your pearl before swine,"
transformed the phrase into "Do not
cart your pills before sunrise." It
was he who caused nie to quote tho
poet's inquiry, so that I propounded
to the world the appalling conun
drum, "where are the dead, the var
nished dead ?" and it was his glori
ous tendency to make the sublime
convulsively ridiculous that rejected
a line in a poem of mine, which de
clared that a "comet swepfoVr the
heavens with its trailing skirt-.' and
substituted the idea that a "Count
slept in a haymow in a travelling,
skirt." The kind of talent that is"
there displayed deserves profound
reverence. I; is wonderful and awful,
and thus 1 offer it a token of my mar
velling respect.
AUrniitlril Errir.
iiiiriiPiiniers have tlie Iri d, wiicu
talking the Engii.sh language, such
as it is, of interjecting the personal
pronoun "he" where not required,
such as "tho king he Las cotui',-" in
stead of "the king has come." Often,
in consequence, a. sentence or an ex
pression is rendered sufficiently ludi
crous, as the sequel will hbow. A
gentleman says he has had the pleas
ure of listening to a clever man, the
Bcv. Mr. (let his locality be a
secret,) and recently he began to dis
course thus: " My friends, you will
find the subject of the discour.-o this
afternoon in the First Epistle general
of the Apostle Peter fifth chapter and
eighth verse, m the words, lhe
he coeth about like a roarin? lion.
seeking whom he may devour. Xow,
my friends, with your leave, we will
divide the subject of our text to-day
into four Lead.. Firstly, we shall
inquire into his geographical position,
namely, "Where the devil he was."
Secondly, where the devil he was
going." Thirdly and this is cf a
personal character "Who the devil
he was seeking." And fourthly und
lastly, wc shall endeavor to solve a
question which has never been solved
yet, "What the devil he was roaring
about."
A Kctort Amttorulrnl.
Dr. Abernothy, the celebrated Lon
don surgeon, was, towards the lat
ter part of his career, as gruff and
bearish as Lo was eccentric, aud ma
ny are the anecdotes related cf his
quaint sayingrs aud doings. He r.iet
his match, however; in a student at
the College of Surgeons upon a cer
tain examination day. And we may'
say, in passing, that said student has
since been one of the most eminent
and success ftil practitioners in his pro
fession. "Suppose,' said Arbemethy, in,
his crisp, abrupt way, to the student
"a man should be "blown up by a'
explosion of gunpowder, wt?J
you do?" m
The question was certainly-
diculous as it was indtifinV, arjl
tvro coolly answered : V
"I should wait, sir,"ii!tij
Mi
down again."
car.
"And no.v, sir," demandeYj
netLy, irately, "suppose I kick
for in impetenett (jog, what mV-.j
should I put in motion ?"' e
"I he flexors and extensors or
right arm, replied
promptly, "p.r i siiouid knoeK yj
down directly."
The voting mn:i passed, and tLl
name oi jonn Aoernetliv was si uncut
to tho certificate of his anatomical
and surgical proficiency.
Knee Sprmi.
I have a six-year old
horse that
over on his
years. At
has had a tendency to go
knees for the past two
times he is perfectly square, even
when driven hard ami constantly:
and then again he will appear weak,
and tremble on them when 1 nine
very little work. This horse is fiuite
a trotter, anil I am anxious to cure
him, if possible. Would it be of ben
efit to blaster his knees, and give him
a run for two or three months?
The tendency to "go over on tho
noes," almost invariablv originates
in conircnital weakness, and is irrem
ediable. Blistering, and a.run during
two or three months, generally bring
about a marked improvement, but no
sooner is the horse put to ordinary
work than the deformity returns as
bad as ever.
Hitiu Cake.
A capital way of disposing of the
remains of a ham and making an .xa
cellent dish for breakfast is: Take a
pound and a half of ham, fat and leua
together; put it into a mortar and
pound it, orpass it through a sausage
machine; boil a large slice of bread
in half a pint of milk, and beat it and
the ham well together; add an egg
beaten up. Put the whole into a
mould and bake a rich brown.
Tiiev tell a oiiecr story about tho
loctors i.i a certain Texas town, who
were all away last summer to attend
a medical convention. They were
absent about two months, and on their
return found all ti.eir patients had re
covered, the drug stores Lad closed,
the nurses had opened dancing
schools, the cemetery Lad been cat
up into building lots, tho underta
kers had gone to making fiddles, and
the hearse had been painted and sold
as a circus wagon.
A bookbinder Lad a book brought
him to be rebound. After the job
was finished, he made the followin g
entry in Lis daybook: "To repair
ing "the 'Way to Heaven,' twenty
five cents.
"I see tbr'ougb it," a.s the washer
woman said when the bottom of the
ub fell out.
"Say, Sambo, did you ebcr sec do
Catskill Mountains?"' "Xo. I nebber
did; .but I have seen dem kill do
mice'
"If a miss is a3 cood as
mik
ido'CT
how ffood is a Mrs?"If she is a widow,
she will be good for a
any circumstances.
leairue under
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