Sunbury American. (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, May 15, 1852, Image 1

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    I .' AM ERIC A Pi
NBURY
0
H. B. MASSES, EDITOR AND PllOPHIETOR.
' OFFICE, MARKET STREET, OPPOSITE THE POST OFFICE.
1 jramfla ilctospapct--Dc)0tc5 to Uolftfcs, aftcrnturc, moralttflt JFowfow .to Domestic iJUHis, Scfri.cc ant 'the arts, aurfculture, iHarbets, amusements, c
TilfiW SEUIKS VOL. 5, NO. 8.
SUNHUUY, NOItTIIUMBKKLAM) COUNTY, PA., SATUUDAY, MAY 15. 1833.
oi.d suuiub vol. i, u.
TERMS OF THE AMERICAN.
THE AMKRICAN ii published everv ftiturdnv nt
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paid.
All communications or letters on business rrlnting to
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veii D Da luiKi
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Five dollars In advance will pay fot three yaur'a sub
scription to the American.
One Bourne of 16 linen, 3 times, f I (III
Even- aulaeaiiFiil insertion, S.i
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Dullness Carda or Five liuea, per annum, 3vu
Merchants and others, advertising ly the
year, with the privilege of Inserting
different advertisements weekly. 1000
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ATTORNEY AT LAW,
EUNDUBY, PA.
0 uaincss attended to in the Counties of Nor
thumberland, Union, Lycoming and Columbia,
liefer tot
P. & A. Rovoudt,
Lower & Barron,
Soinem & Snndgrass, Vhilail.
Reynolds, McFarland At Co.,
Spcring, Good A; Co.,
JAMES J. NAILLE,
Attorney and Counsellor at law,
STJNBURY, PA.
"VILI. attend faithfully and promptly to oil
professional business, in Northumberland
and Union counties. Ho is familiar with the
German Innguiige.
OFFICE :- Opposite the "Lawrence House,"
few doors from the Court House.
unhury, Aug. 16, 1851. ly.
(HARRISBURQ STEAM WOOD
TURNING AND SCROLL SAWING
SHOP. Wood Turning in all its liranrhca,
in city style and at city prices. Kvcry variety of
Cabinet and CurjirutiT work either on hand or
turned to order.
Bed Posts, Uatusters, Rosctts, Slut and Quar
ter Mouldings, Table Legs, Newell Foals, Pat
terns, Awning Posts, Wagon Hubs, Columns,
Round or Octagon Chisel Handles. oVc.
ITT This shop is in STRAWBERRY AL
LEY, near Third Street, and ns wc intend to
jileasc all our customers who want good work
done, it is hoped that all the trade wil' give us a
call.
HT Ten-Pina and Ten-Pin Balls niado to or
der or returned.
The attention of Cabinet Makers and Carpen
ters is culled to our new stvle. of TWlsT
MOULDINGS. Printer's Rigid at 1 per 100
feet. W. O. HICKOK.
February 7, 1852 ly.
HARDWARE, CUTLERY AND GUNS'
'os. 31 If 33 Market Street,
PHILADELPHIA.
THE subscribers would call the attention of
buyers to their stock of Hardware, consisting
of Tablo and Pocket Knives. Guns, Chains,
Locks, Hollow arc, &c. &c. We would rceom
mend to all, our
Endless Chain Pumps,
new article now gelling into general use which
we can furnish complete at about one half the
price paid for the old style Pumps, also a new ar
ticle of JnmiM race loor Ijit kv each
Luck suited either for right or left hand doors,
with mineral or white knobs.
' Our stock of GlIllS is large and well select
ed, comprising single and double barrels, F.nglish
and German inake. All goods can las returned
if not found to 1 as represented. Country mer
chants would do well to call on us before pur
chasing elsewhere.
Wheelwrights and carriage makers supplied
with goods suited to their business, by calling on
W. H. & (i. W. ALLEN,
No. 31 & 33 Market Street, Philadelphia.
February, 81, 1852. 6mo.
VM. McCARTY, Bookseller,
nimunriv, si xih ry. ia.
A8 just received and for sale, Purdons Di
jS i gPat of the laws of Pennsylvania, edition of
1851, price, only S6,00.
Judge Reads edition of Blackstoncs Cnmmeii
taries, in 3 vols. 8 vo. formerly sold at SI 0,00,
nd now pfferad (in fresh binding) at the low
price of 80,00.
A Treatise on the laws of Pennsylvania re
specting the estates of lieccdents, by Thomas F.
Gordon, price only $1,00.
Kossuth and the Hungarian war: comprising
a complete history of the late struggle for freedom
of that country, with notices of the leading chiefs
and statesmen, who distinguished themselves in
council and in tho field, containing 2SS pages of
interesting matter with authentic portraits.
Kossuth's address to the people of the United
States, with a portrait, printed on broadcast, and
put on rollers after the manner of maps, price
only 50 cents. Washington's farewell address,
uniform style with the above.
February, 21, 1S52.U.
SPRING MILLINERY GO 0E S
JOHN STONE ($ SONS,
IMI'ORTKKS AND DKALKIttt IN
FRENCH MILLINERY GOODS,
No. 45 South Second Street, Philadelphia.
A RE now prepared to offer to their customers
L and tho trade a large and wall selected as-
urtment of
ikw. Ribbons &. Millinery fJoooX
Confining themselves eiclusively to this branch
if the trade, and Im)iortiiig the larger part of
heir stock, enables them to offer an assortment
insurpassed in client and variety,, whilst will tie
old at the lowest prices and on the most favor
hie terms.
March 13, 1852. Smo.
Alden's Condensed Reports of Penna.
JUST Publislifd, snd for sale by the suhscri
her the Sttoiul Volant of Alden's Cou-
snsed Pennsylvania Reports, containing the
st three volumes of Yentes' Reports, and two
st volumes of Biuuey's Reports. The lirst vol
ute of Alden, containing Dallas' Reports, 4 vol
nes i and Yeates' Reports, volume 1, is also on
ml. and for sale. The above two volumes are
anplete within themselves, and contain all of
. . . , i n ..e v...
Silas Kepons, voiumea, ami an ui r"
joorU, 4 volumes, besides the two first volumes
II : It t. Tim lliir.l iMtlmiiA ill rmiilv
i will he put to press immudiutcly.
,. H. U. MASSE R, Agent
gunbury, Aug. 16, 1851.
froming Mutual Insurance Company,
R. J. B. MA88ER is the local agent for the
' above Insurance Company, in Northumlier
Jfounty, and is at all times ready to effect
usances against pre on real or personal pro-
tyl or renewing policies for the same,
(isnbury, April S6, 1851. tf.
if Boureu's celebrated ink, and also Con
tea Ins. lor sale, wnoiesaie ana reuui ny
rcubef 18, 1850. H- I) MA8SER.
SELECT POETRY.
A COURTING SONG.
BY MISS LISLIE.
Tito parlors bolh ard occupied, and every
other spot,
By couples who n-cotirling seem anil yet
perhaps Ihey're not ;
There's some that court on taborcls, placed
lovingly together,
And lovingly they whisper low of fashion or
the weather ;
Some couit within t lie outer porch, nml some
upon the stairs,
And many court on ottomans, and very few
on chairs.
And openly, without disguise, is all this court
ing dune,
No mallei whether on it shines the gas light
or the sun ;
And so desirous nfe they still the stale of
things to prove,
The more that visitors come in, the more they
will nut move ;
But there they sit and persevere, in spile of
hint and glance,
And people that on business come, have very
Intle chance.
And some court nt the checker-board while
olheis court at chess,
(Though chess-playeis cannot be in love so
much as they profess.)
There tire some that at backgammon court,
half hid behind a column,
And some would even court nt whist, wore
not the game so solemn.
There are some that promenade, as if they
never meant to stop,
And some that think it policy to institute a
Imp.
This conning of the young folks is a pretty
sight to see,
But the cunning of the married ones hud bet
ter never be ;
Success to nil whose hearts are fixed on ob
jects ritiht and true ;
We wish, with ihem, that they could make
a shorter courtship do ;
I'm always glad when any friend invites me
out In tea.
For iis's very dull to stay a', home, wilh no
one courling iw.
3. Select Ctalc.
PIERRE PIT0IS, THE DESERTER.
TRANSLATED FliOM THE FRENCH.
In the year 1S09, Pierre Pilois was ser
geant in the 12th regiment of the line,
then quartered in Strasburg. He was a na
tive of that half-savage, half-civilized part
of Uurgundy, known under the name oi
Morvan ; and his comrades ever spoke or
him as "a tough customer." Always the
first and last to fire, he had the reputation
of liking but two things in the world the
smell ol powder and the whistling ot bul
lets. Now, one day our friend took it in'o his
head to address a letter to his Colonel, in
which he applied for leave of absence to
go and see his aged mother, who was dan
gerously ill. lie added that his father be
ing seventy-eight years of age, and suffer
ing under a paralytic affection, could not
be of any use in nurse-tending the poor
woman, and he pledged himself to return
as soon as the health of his mother should
be restored.
1'ieire Pitois submitted. A fortnight
elapsed ; and then a second letter was re
ceived by the Colonel, in which Pierre in
formed him that his mother had died with
out the consolation of giving her last bless
ing to her only child, and in which he
again solicited leave of absence, saying
that "he could not state his reason for this
request it was a family secret" but ear
nestly imploring the Colonel not to deny
him this favor.
Pierre's second letter was as little suc
cessful as the first. The poor fellow's Cap
tain merely said ."Pierre, the Colonel has
received your letter; he is sorry for the
death of your old mother, but he cannot
grant the leave of absence you require, as
the regiment leaves Strasburg to-morrow."
"Ah! The regiment leaves Strasburg;
and for what place may I ask you" said
Pierre.
"For Austria replied the officer. "Yre
are to see Vienna, my brave Pitois j we
are to fight the Austrians. Is not that good
news for you 1 You will be in your cle
ment, my fine fellow.
Pierre Pitois made no reply ; he seemed
lost in deep thought. The Captain caught
his hand, and shaking it heartily he said :
"Why do you not speak, man! Are
you deal to-day 1 I am telling that, in less
than a week, you are to have the pleasure
ol a si-t-lo with the Austrians, and you
have not one word of (hanks for the good
news; nay, I verily believe you have nof
even heard me."
'Indeed, Captain, I have heard every
word, and 1 thank you with all my heart,
lor your news, which 1 consider very
good."
"I thought you would," said the officer.
"But, Captain, is there no chance ot ob
taining the leave of absence?"
"Are you mad?" was the reply. "Leave
of absence the very day before taking the
held !"
"I never thought of that," said Pierre.
"We are on the point of taking the field,
and at such a time I suppose leave is never
given ?"
"It is never even asked."
"It is quite right it is never even ask
ed. It would have the appearance of cow-
ardice. Well, then, I will not press it any
more; I will try and get on without it."
"And you will do well," replied the
Captain.
The next day the twelfth regiment en
tered Germany and the next Pierre Pitois
deserted !
Three mouths after, when the twelfth
regiment, having reaped in the field of bat
tle an abundant harvest ol glory, was ma
king its triumphal entry into Strasburg, Pi
erre Pitois was ignomiuiously dragged back
to his corps by a brigade of gens d'armes.
A court martial is immediately called.
Pierre Pitois is accused of having deserted
at that very moment when his regiment
was to meet the enemy face to face. The
court presented a singular spectacle. On
the one side stood forth the accuser, who
cried :
"Pierre Pitois, you, one of the bravest
men in the army j you on whose breast
the star of honor yet gliders; you, who
never incurred either punishment or even
censure from your officers; you could not
have quitted your regiment quitted it al
most on the eve of battle without some
powerful motive to impel youi This mo
tive the court demands of you : for it would
gladly have it in its power if not to ac
quit you, which it ought not, perhaps, ei
ther to do or to desire at least to recom
mend you to the Emperor's mercy."
On the other side stood the accused, who
answered :
"I have deserted without any reason,
without any motive ;. if it were to do again,
I would do it again. I deserve death
pass sentence."
And then came some witnesses who deposed
"Pierre Pilois is a deserter. We know
it is a fact, but we do not believe it."
And others averred
"Pierre Pitois is mad ; the court cannot
condemn a madman. He miiit be senten
ced, then, not to death, but to the lunatic
asylum."
This alternative had very nearly been
adopted, for there was not one person in
the court who did not consider the deser
tion of Pierre Pitois as one of those singu
lar occurrences beyond the range of human
possibilities, which every one is forced to
admit as a fact, no one can account for, or
comprehend. The accused, however, plead
ed guilty most positively, and was most
pertinacious in his demand lor the just pen
ally of the law to be inflicted on him. He
so boldly and fearlessly avowed his crime,
continually repeating that he did not regret
it, that at length his firmness assumed the
character of a bravado, and left no room for
clemency. Sentence of death was there
fore pronounced.
Pierre Pitois heard his sentence read
with the utmost unflinching gaze. They
warmly urged him to plead for mercy, but
he refused. As every one guessed that at
the bottom ol this affair there was some
strange mystery, it was determined that the
execution of Pieire should be delayed.
He was carried back to the military pris
on, and it was announced to him that, as a
mark of special favor, he had three days
given him to press for pardon. He shrug
ged his shoulders and made no reply.
In the middle of that night on which
was to dawn the day fixed for the execu
tion, the door of Pierre's dungeon turned
softly on its hinges, and a subaltern officer
advanced to the side of the camp-bed in
winch the condemned was tranquilly
sleeping, and after gazing on him some
time in silence, awoke him.
Pierre opened his eyes, and staring about
him, said : "The hour, then, is at last
come."
"No, Pierre," replied the officer, "it is
not yet the hour, but it will soon come."
"And what do you want with me until
then?"
"Dost thou not know me, Pierre? No
matter 1 know the well. I saw thee at
Austerlitz and bravely didst thou bear
thyself. From that day, Pierre,! have had
for thee a regard no less warm than sin
cere. Yesterday, on my arrival at htras-
g, I learned thy crime and condemna
tion. I have prevailed on the gaoler, who
is a relation of mine, to allow me to see
thee. And now that I have come, I would
ay to thee Pierre, it is often a sad thought
for a man about to die (hat thee has not a
friend near him to whom he might open
his heart, and intrust with some sacred coin
mission to discharge when he should be no
more. If thou wilt accept me, 1 will be to
thee that friend."
"I thank you, comrade," replied Pierre.
"Why ! hast thou nothing to say to me ?"
"Nothing."
"What! not one word of adieu to thy
sweetheart? to thy sister?"
"A sweetheart? a sister? I never had
either."
"To thy father?"
"lie is no more. Two years ago he died
in mv arms."
"Thy mother, then ?"
"My mother!" and Pierre, whose voice
suddenly and totally changed, repeated
"rny niullier! Ah, comrade do not utter
that name, for I have never heard that
name I have never said it my heart
without feeling melted like a child ; and
even now, methinks, it I weie to speak
her "
"What then?"
"The tears would come and tears would
not become a man. . Tears!" con.
tinned he "tears when I have but a few
hours to live! Ah! there would not be
much courage in that !"
"Thou art too stern, comrade. I think
I have, thank God, as much courage as
other people : and yet I would not be
ashamed ol weeping, were I to speak of
my mother."
"Are you serious ?" said Pierre, eagerly
seizing the officer's hand. "You, a man
and a soldier, and not ashamed to weep ?"
" nen speaking ol my mother? Cer
tainly not. My mother is so good, so kind;
she loves me much ; and 1, too, love her
aeariy."
"She loves you I and you love her?
Oh ! then I may, indeed, tell you all. My
nean is mil it must have vent ; and. how
ever strange my feelings appear to you, I
am sure you will not laugh at them. Lis
ten, then j for what you said just now is
quite true. A man is glad, when about to
die, to have a heart into which be can pour
out his own. Will you listeu to roe and
not laugh at me ?'
"Surely I will listen, Pierre. A dying and greeting shouts of admiring love follow
man must ever excite compassionate sym- cd him till he w as out of sight.
pathv."
"You must not know that since I came
into this world, I never loved but one be
ing that being was my mother. Dut her
I loved as none loved with all that was in
me of life and energy. While yet a babe,
I used to read her eyes, as she read mine ;
I guessed her thoughts and she knew mine.
Site was the heart of my heart, and I the
heart of hers. I have never had either
sweetheart or wile ; I never had a friend ;
my mother was everything to me. Well,
I was summoned to take up arms; and
when they told me I must leave her, in a
paroxysm of despair I declared they might
drag me limb from limb, but never should
they take me from her alive. With one
word spoken in her holy fortitude and
strong courage, she changed my whole purpose-"
" 'Pierre,' sa'nl she, 'you must go it is
my wish-'
"I knelt before her, and I said, I will
go, mother.'
" 'Pierre,' she adeed, thou hast been a
good son, and I thank God for it ; but the
duties ol a son are not the only ones a man
has to fulfil. Every citizen owes himself
to his country ; it calls thee obey ! Thou
art going to be a soldier. From this mo
ment thy life is no longer thine own ; it is
thy country's. If its interest demand il,
lay it down cheerfully. II it be the will
of God that thou shotild'st die oefore me, I
should weep for thee my heart's tears; but
1 would say, "He gave, and He has taken
away, blessed be the name of the Lord !"
Go, now, and if thou love thy mother, do
thy duly.' Oil! how precious those holy
words ! I have never forgotten them. 'Do
thy duly,' she said. Now, the duty of a
soldier was always, and in all things, to
obey ; and in all things and always, I obey
ed. It was to go straight forward to face
dangT without hesitation, without second
thought. Those who saw me thus, as it
were to seek to meet the bullets, said,
'There is a brave fellow !' They might
have better said there is a man who loves
his mother !'
"One day later brought me the tidings
she was ill my own poor mother! I long
ed to go to her. I asked for leave of ab
sence ; it was not granted. I remembered
her last words 'If thou love thy mother,
do thy duty.' 1 submitted. A little while
alter 1 heard that she was dead. Oh ! then
my senses forsook me ; at any risk I deter
mined to trawl to the country. Whence
proceeded so ardent, so impetuous a desire
to see once more a place where my mother
had just died ? I will tell you : and as you
have a mother, and as she loves you, and as
you love her, you will understand nie.
"We peasants of Morvan are a simple
and confiding race. We have not recieved
the instruction, nor attained the knowledge
that they have in the cities; but we have
our beliefs, which the townlblks call super
stitions. What matters the name? Be
they superstitions or beliefs, we hive them,
and clever would be the man that could
uproot them. Now, one of Ihese beliefs to
which we cling most, is that which attri
butes to the first flower that blows in the
grave mould, such a virtue that he who
gathers it is certain of never forgetting the
dead, and of never being forgotten by them.
Belief how dear how sweet ! With it,
death has no terrors for death, without
forgetting, or being forgotten, is but a sweet
sleep, but calm repose alter a long toil.
That flower I panted to see it bud I
panted to gather it! I abandoned my post
and went on my way. After ten days of
long and weary march, I reached my mo
ther's grave. The earth seemed yet fresh
no flower appeared. I waited. Six
weeks elapsed and then one lovely morning
I saw a little blue flower 'Forget me not.'
As I plucked it, 1 shed glad tears, for me
thought that little flower was my mother's
sou!; that she had felt that I was near, and
that under the form of that flower had given
herself, to my heart once more.
"There was nothing now lo detain me in
the country, for my father had soon followed
my mother to the grave, and I had plucked
my precious flower; what more did I want?
I remembered my mother's charge do thy
duty ! I sought the gens d'armes, and I said,
1 am a deserter arrest me.'
And now I am to die : anil if, as you assu
red nie, 1 have in you a Iriend, 1 die with
out regrnt, for you will do me the only
service I require. The flower which at
the risk ol my life, 1 plucked from the
grave, is here, in a little case next to my
heart. Promise me that you will see that
they do not take it from me. It is the link
which unites me to my mother j and il 1
thought it would be broken oh ! 1 should
not have the courage to die
Say, do you promise to do what I ask of
you V
"I promise," said the ollicer.
"Your hand, that I may press it to my
heart. You are very kind to me; and if
the Almighty God were in his omnipotence
to give me my lile a secoud time, I would
uevpte it to you."
The friends narted.
The next day had dawned. They arri
ved at the place of execution; and already
had the fatal sentence been read, when the
low murmer that-ran through the tanks.
changed into almost deafening shouts
The Emperor! the Emperor ! Long live
the Emperor ,"'
He appeared, dismounted from his horse
and then, with his short, Quick step, he
walked up to the condemned.
'Pierre,M said he to him. Pierre gazed
at bim, and made an effort to speak, but a
sudden stupor seemed to overwhelm him
"Pierre," continued the Emperor, "remem
ber your own words of last night. God
gives thee life a second time ; devote it not
tr me. but to France ! Shu too. is kind
I mother ! Love her as thou didst thy first
I tame own," lie then turned to depart
Some years alter this, a CBptain oi tne
Old Guards fell mortally wounded on the
field of Waterloo.
Amid the din of battle, he was heard to
shout in his death pangs : ,
"Long live the Fmperor! France forever!
My mother! My mother!"
"It was Pierre Pitois !
WHY PEOPLE DRIMK.
Mr. A. drinks because his doctor has re
commended him In take a little.
Mr. li. been use his doctor niders him not,
and he hates quackery.
Mr. C. lakes ft drop because he is wet.
Mr. D. because he's dry.
Mr. E. because he feels something rising
in his stomach.
Mr. F. because he feels a kind of sinking
in his stomach
Mr. G. because he's going to see a friend
off to Oregon.
Mr. II. because he's got a friend come
home from California.
Mr. I. because he's so hot.
Mr. K. because he's so cold.
Mr. L. because he's got a pain in his
head.
Mr. M, because he's got a pain in his
side.
Mr. N because he's got a pain in his back.
Mr. O. because he's got a pain in his
chest.
Mr. P. because he's got a pain all over
him.
Mr. Q. because he feels light and happy.
Mr. R. because he feels heavy and miserable.
Mr. S. because he's married.
Mr. T. because he isn't,
Mr. V. because he likes to sec his friends
around him.
Mr. W. because he's gut no friends and
enjoys .1 glass by himself.
Mr. X. because his undo left him a leg
acy.
Air. Y. because his aunt cut him off with
out a shilling.
Mr. Z. (we should be happy to inform our
readers what Mr. Z 's reasons are for
drinking, but on putting the question to
him, he was found to be too drunk to
answer.)
MAC HIKE POETRY.
BY A. F. BANKS.
Best of all the fruit thai grows,
Potatoes !
Without thee, mutton dryly goes,
Potatoes :
How lovely "mashed" they does repose,
Potatoes '.
Roasted ! vehat incense thrills the nose,
Potatoes !
Whether in "jackets boiled," or cut in slice,
And fhnved in frying pan and "done up
nice."
Or rooked (they can be in a hundred ways,)
To tempt the enraptured palate, glad the
uu.e.
They is the very loveliest fruit 1 knows,
l olatues :
Fato grant 1 find when heavenward I goes,
Potatoes !
Irish Wit. A couple of I:ishmen, who
had not been long in. this country, met at an
inn and called for dinner. As it so happen
ed, (here was a dish of horse raudish grated
for dinner. Put, thinking it was something
to be eaten wilh a spoon put a large spoon
ful into his mouth Tho tears immediately
filled his eyes anil rolled down his cheeks.
His companion saw it, and said :
Pat, what is the matter !'
'I was thinking of my poor father that
wus hanged m swate Ireland,' answeted
Pat.
But Jemmy snsn filled his mouth with the
same, and as the tears gushed from his eyes
also, Put says :
What's the matter what has happened
lo ye V
'Ah !' says Jemmy, 'I was just thinking
what a piiy it was that you were noi hanged
when your fathei was.'
Qceen UiBEi.iA or Spain has given lo the
image of Our Lady of Aloe ha an imperial
crown of line gold set wilh diamonds and
Brazilian lopa.es, ihe whole worlh $750,000;
to the imago of the Saviour, at the same
shrine, a similar crown, though of course
smaller in size; and two boquets, of the size
of a man's band, of pure diamonds. For
these things, Ihe Queen paid the jeweller
Lovia the enormous sum of $1,500,000. The
statues have been adorned with them and
placed on an ultar where the publio can see
them; four soldiers constantly keep guard
before the shrine.
Etiqukttf.. The National Intelligencer
ha resumed ils hints on etiquette, and the
Telegraph makes ihe following deductions
A letter must be answered, unless you
wish to intimate to the writer that he or his
subject is beneath your notice.
n. viau must U0 iisiuiiicu in in, inumici,
even though no intimacy is intended.
A smiling countenance is pleasant, but ex
cess of laughter should . be avoided, epe
cially when it is possible for any one lo sup
pose himself derided by it.
Whispering in company is always offen
sive, and often for Ihe reason that persons
present suspect that they are ihe subjects of it
A Dutchman, who had a brother hung in
this country, wrote to bis relatives, inform'
itig them that his broihei had been placed
in a publio situation by this government, and
at the time of his death had several thousand
people, including the Sheriff and Grand Jury,
under bins. Scasrs.
THE MAN WHO KNEW EVERYTHING.
A mighty knowing man was Caleb Page,
who kept tho grocery at the fork of the load
near Woodchnck Cteek, Scragg Hollow, in
the village of Hornville. No occurrence had
ever taken place, of all the particular of
which Caleb did not possess a thorough
knowledge in the minutest detail. All mat
ters in the perspective were anticipated, dis
cussed and arranged, and satisfactorily dis
posed of by Caleb long before they look
place. If a neighbor rushed in'.o a store to
communicate what he believed to be a very
recent piece of news, he would have the
conceit taken out of him by being told by
Caleb that he "had heard it a week ago."--Events
of the past, present, and future, were
all the same to him ; his ubiquitous know
ledge grasped and covered them all to him
they were all 'stale news."
A small bet was made one evening, be
tween Si Stevens and Joe Sttibbiris. Si bel
that Joe couldn't nonplus Caleb wilh any
piece of intelligence, real or imaginary.
Joe "look all such bets as that." Tne fol
lowing evening, Si and Joe, accompanied by
two or ihree more of tho "boys" of the vil
lase, who were to "help the thing along,"
and "fill in," proceeded to Caleb's store.
After being comfortably seated here and
there, on barrels, boxes, &c, Si opened the
evening's amusements by asking, in a man
ner, that indicated he was continuing a con
versation commenced before they entered
the store :
"So you say, Joe, that they caught him
last night ?"
"Yes sir, about seventeen minutes past
eight."
"Well, Jon, how far up tho creek is it ?"
'-On a careful consideration, I should say
it was about three miles, or three miles and
a quarter, or perhaps a half up the said
cieek."
Caleb, who had not lost a word of the
conversation, dropped his sugar scoop with
astonishment, and opened his ears, for the
boys were talking about a matter in which
he was not "posted up." The conversation
continued :
"Well," says Si, "ihat couldn't been far
from Deacon Hunt's ?"
"Jest so," answered Joe, "il was about
eighty rods from Deacon Hunt's hug pen, in
a slanchwise direction."
"Did you hear, Joe," asked Si, wilh a face
as solid as two gravestones ; "I hearn tell
that they gut well nigh upon sixty bar'ls
of He."
The wngs observed that Caleb was get-
ting exceedingly uneasy, and then "piled it
on."
"Well, Silas, the insect was about eighty-
two feet long, and twenty-eight feet, odd
inches, broad, and very thick in propor
tion." "I thought, Joe, that there was two on
em."
'-Thai's a fact, there was a pair of 'em.
but they only caught the he one."
At this point in tho dialogue, Caleb be.
came so desperately excited that he could
contain himself no longer, and snappishly
demanded to know "whal'u thunder they
were talking about ?"
"Why," said Joe, wilh well-feigned nslon.
ishment, "don't you know about Iheir catch,
ing that are"
" That are what ? " peevishly snarled
Caleb.
"Why, thai are whale !" seriously answer
ed Joe Slebbins.
"A whale !" exclaimed the bewildered
Caleb, ,:have they caught a whale tip the
creek !"
'They haven't caught anything else,' said
the imperturbable Joe.
"And how much ila did they get ?" in
quired Caleb, as he recovered his wits.
"Ninety-two bur'ls," replied, Joe, for
getting the amount he had previously men.
tioned.
"Well," said Caleb, with slow delibeia-
tion
and a satisfied look, " am glad they
caught tin u-hale, for 1 heard they were arter
him ."'
Joe paid the bet. Bojfon Carpet lia.
Tailors Defenocu. A tailor possesses
the qualities of nine men combined in one,
as will be seen by the following observa
tion :
1st. As an economist, ho cuts his coat ac
cording to his cloth.
Sd. As a gardener, he is careful of cab
bage.
3d. As a sailor, he sheers off, whenever it
is proper.
4 ih. As a play-aotor he often brandishes a
bare bodkin.
5lh. As a lawyer he attends many suits.
6th. As an executioner, he piovides sus
penders aud gallowses for many persona.
7tb. As a cook, he u generally furnished
with a warm goose.
8th. As a ohurifl's officer, ho does much
sponging.
9lh. As s rational and scriptural divine,
his great aim is to form good habits lor tho
benefit of himself. '
Mother, I would not be turpiiscd if our
Susan gets choked some day " "Why, my
son 1" "Because her beau twisted bis aims
around her neck, and if she had not kissed
him to let her go, he would have stiaugled
her the other night."
A militia officer being told lately by a
phrenologist that bo had the organ of locali
ty very large, innocently replied, "Very
likely ; I was fifteen yeais a Colonel iu the
i local militia.' "
A SERMON THAT DID NOT StIT.
Mrs. II was a very religious woman,
and perhaps came as near worshipping Mr,
N 1 her favorite minister, ns some of onr
big bugs do Kossuth, the Hungarian ; but be
that as it may, she was continually hammer
inir Aaron, a shrewd lad of some sixteen
years of age, to pestnr the old lady, and
hear her scold, would occasionally speak
rather liyhtly f Mr. N , her minister.
Happening in at the house of Mrs. H
one day, ihe old lady began, as usual, to
chastise him, and Aaron, thinking she put on
rather loo hard, after hearing her through,
said :
"I am as good as Mr. N , and can
preach as welli"
"Preach !" said the old lady, "you don't
know one single word in tho bible."
" Well, give me a text," said Aaron, "and
see if I can't preach."
"You don't know anything nbout ihe hi-
ble, said Mr. II , "if you do, you may
lake any text you please."
" Well, " said Aaron, "a virtuous woman
is without a price ain't thai
bible 1"
in yuur
"Yes," said Mrs. H , "and it show.
that women are belter than men, for Ihe bi.
ble don't say that a virtuous man is without
a price."
"Well, we will see nbout that," said
Aaron, and, nfler dividing Ihe subject
into two or three heads, commenced as
follows :
l:The scarcily of an article, in nil cases,
governs the price, but when an article can
lint be found, it cannot be bad at ar.y price,
and for that reason it is 'without a price.'
Now, if there were any virtuous women,
there would be a price and a high one, too,
by reason of the scarcity, but as there is
none "
At this stage of the discourse, the old lady
seized the broom
"Aaron." said she, "you are an impudent
brat, and if you don't clear out, I will pelt
you with the broom handle."
Aaron made tracks into Ihe road, finishing
his sentence "they are without piice," as he
went through Ihe door, which the old
'ady closed after him wilh considerable
force.
Aaron now started for home, saying lo
himself as he went along, "I guess the old
woman will riot chastise me again very
soon," and, as it proved, he was not mista
ken in his prediction.
The following prophecy is from a rare old
printed book :
When Legislators bold invade
The laws which they themselves have
made ;
When the parson 'gainst the Bible preaches,
And modi-st virgins wear Ihe breeches;
When women scorn domeslin cares
And bold intrude on men's alTuirs,
Aspiring wilh mistaken pride
The war-horse of the world to ride,
Then will wild chaos come again,
Aud Eve wilh her old serpeul reign,
A second time will pay the price
Of wit, losl by Paradise,
The wot Id, tail foremost, will advance,
Like freedom in degenerate France;
By gi'inir backwards will come right,
And men grow blind by too much light.
Is an Umbrella Property ? Punch told
the story some yeais ago, of a man who
loaned an umbrella to a friend, a tradesman
iu the street, on a wel, nasty day. Il was
not returned, and on another wet, disagree,
able day, he called tor it, but found his
friend at ihe door going out with it iu his
hand.
' I've come for my umbrella," exclaimed
the leaner.
"Cun'l help thai," exclaimed the borrow
er, "duu'l you sue that I am just going out
with it ?"
"Well yes," replied the lender, nslon.
ished at such outrageous impudence ; "yes,
but but but what am I to do ?"
"Do ?" replied the other, ns he ihrew tip
the ton and walked off : "do ? Do as I did.
I iorrou) 0(lfl,'
Assignability or Land Warrants. In
his interpretation of the act of Congiess of
tJSth September, 1850, authorizing the issue of
iioii-ussiguabia bounty laud warrants, (he
Hun. A. II. H. Stuart. Secretary of Ihe Interior,
decided that the soldier, afler locating his
warrant, could not make a valid title to the
land so located, until after Ihe issue of ibo
patent. Ihe question has been submitted to
Ihe Hun. llnfus Choale, whose view is, lhat
the conveyance may be made afler ihe issue
of Ihe warrant, and before Ihe issue of tho
patent. The phrase iu the l uv "piior lo the
issue" having reference lo the warrant, and
not lo the patent.
Transportation or Cattlf,0ii Tues.
day, a train of cars, numbering forty-four,
passed through Carlisle, freighted wilh 209
head of cattle, consigned to S. 11. Baker, of
Philadelphia, by S. M. Baker, of Ohio. The
entire train was drawn by the locomotive
"Tiger," and contained an aggregate weight
exclusive of cars, of 251,300 pounds be.
ing an average of 1202 to each sierr. This
train will be kept employed by Mr. Baker
fot several weeks yet.
Every woman was made for a mother,
consequently babies are as necessary to iheir
"peace of mind" as health- If you wish to
look at melancholy and indigestion, look at
an old maid. If vou wish to take a peep at
sunshine, look in the face of a young
mother."
Dr. Young says that man and wife are
like soul and body ; alwiys at varisuts aud
yet loth to fill.
1