AMERICAN.
TO
RY
II. B. MASSER, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR.
OFFICE, MARKET STREET, OPPOSITE THE POST OFFICE.
1 jFflmUy Actospapcr Scbouo to jjolfUrs, aftcrnturr, Jfnoralttg, jForcfcn ana Domestic nevus, Science an& the arts, aurfculturc, -fHarUcts, amusements, c.
KUNllUKY. NORTHUMIlKMiAM) COUNTY. PA., SATL'llDAY. Jl AKC11 IS. I h.fl.
NKW SERIES VOL. a. NO. SI.
OM) SKIUES VOL. 8 1. NO. Sff.
TKUMS OF IIIU AJIKttlCAV
THE AMERICAN il puliliiilieil .very fsitnrilny lit TWO
POLI.AK! per Hiinuin In lie piiiil hull" yearly in advance.
Nil pane' ilitemiliimwl until all nrrempn. nre )nl.
Allciimniuiiil'nti.nn'ir letter, nil liminem relating til tin
,ffice, to insure attention, must be l'UST PAID.
TO Cl.cbS. ()
Three eopie. to one mklresi, 't,
even V- J)
nrteeit i D" , ,a""u
Kiva rlnllnri in niltraiice will ray fur thr.e yenr'nmibieriri
tion ti the Ainericun.
On Skiuoie nf 10 lines, 3 times,
Krery iiitweiineiit insertion,
On. Squnre, 3 iiinntlia,
:0ik muntlis,
One vear,
Rmiiien Card, nf Five line., per intuitu,
Merelitmt. nml others, niivertiisinj by the
rear, Willi the privil' fte of iiminiiigilu-
f.rent advertit'nieiils wcelily.
Cf Larger Adverti.eiiients, n. per agreement.
l nn
It. HI
CI III
auo
in oo
S. 3. MAS3SP.J
ATTORNEY A T . A XV ,
SinVSUR'S, PA.
Business attended to in the ('oiinties of Net'
tliuuilivilmiil, Union, Lycoming hikI Columbia.
Krier lot
P. & A. Povm nr. "j
I.hwmi it Uahihis, I
Mom Kim & Wjumiomah., S-I'.'iilint.
Kr.tmiLh, Mc 'r ai. si' A '"' I
WPKHI 11), ''Ollll it 'l'., J
""THE VEUY LATEST AKKIV.IL
NEW GOODS,
AT THE STOBE OF
??vA ?. CLEIESXTT,
IfHO take this method nf iiifcTinim; liiii
friends tnul customers, t tin t lie Iiiik just re
frivoil nml o cried n splendid assortment u(
N K V (1 O () 1) S.
uliich lie otters to the public :it the lowest prices
His flock counts ol'ecrv variety mid quality,
iierrssrv lor tlie larai,-r, ii.eclianic, Hinl lalioreri
aa well is llie j.r.ifrssiou.1 mall, U: all ktiwlx of
31 e n s ' A ) : re 1 .
tru a? t urn.'. r.s:f:Mi:;:i:
vVTTINT.TTS,
ViTIN.:t. c
ALSO:
o l.iri;c nsf.,iiti!'.eiil of
f.'ali(rrn, Moi's.'cHu? 7V Li;ncs, Alprjcps,
Mcriwis. Shan't), lintitlkrnki- f.i.
(llov-f. Il'iis't'i. Ch'.cks,
CqniUric.t, (.tujf
Aieiis. S'f.
Alsq a lai'v sstirttiiosit of
'oos and Siorx, I! 'Is nml Cnif,
(ii.'n. or.r S'nvs,
Ar.so an Asi;::t iii.yr ov
11K.M) Y.M V ) i4 CIA) I'M Mi.
general assortment nf (Iroceries, Sugar,
Cl)Uee, Tea, ( l;eese, il,
lasset:, Sji'n:i s.
.An nnsortnn .il of
Hai ti liar?, Xaih. Siti-l end Iron.
Lij;iors,
ucl) 3s BranI', ('in, Rnn. Whiskey, &'c,
I'iT IVoilnie of nil kiu.is will In" taken' in es
mm;f;, ((nil the hiliuil market p.-iee ji dJ for tli.
niif.
Sinibiji'c, Nay. 3p, !ct'il). Jy.
GESAT AHJUVAL
Nl-nV GOODS!
JUarket fJueet, Sudbury, Pa.,
5)H. V. riiil.JVfi respectfully informs his
liieiiils nml ciKii4Ii'I'k I li: t lie lias just re
iyf.J a ufy. and li.inl..mne assortment of
Dry (lootls.
tji(r.istiiij; nf Cloilis. fassimer! Sattinettn,
l)o Laines, ( 'i.ti'-oes. Fancy
nml Staple Cooi'.s.
ALSO:
GROCrjHTF.S of every description,
UHl (.S A MI'.I)H"IM S.
ITJEENSWAllE AITI) HAP.DW AKE.
r'isli. Suit. Placer nni a ceneral nss.irtinent of
mull goods tin e.iil h.iit a!lcla:.es; llie Far
r. Mcrlianic, Lal..H(.i anil liculicmeil of all
ofesiuiis.
T !i v L a ;! i v
ill find a Rreat variety of all ftteh or!ie!es as
y w ill need fur llie pii si.i;l season.
i'fr- Centv proiliiec ot u It kiiu! takep in cx-
itige at llie liiliest market price.
Sunliury, Nnv. II, lH.'K).
' MORE NEW CCODS
Al Ihe .nv More oj'
OlIN 1JUYE15S&CO.,
Market Street, Suubury.
IJliO Imi juit ieceied ami opened a larqa ns
' kutUiicnt of new unJ lusliionulila rouus, (if
:r afiriy, nuilulile fur llie full and winter near
iVVor U iiermim ; and to wHii h lie culls tlirtt
tion of friends and customers. His .lock coil-
in pa: t vf
SCCH AS
lloth, Pafsjrntres, Satttuctts, Mrrinos,
De Laines, Calicoes, Shawls, Ibmd
" kercjefs, and all kinds of wear
iS ap"iri'l
ALssO: Hardware, ucciiKvnre,
Groceries, Fish, Salt and Plaster,
1 alt articles that may bo v.aiteil by the cone
nily.
Tlie Iiittlics
It find, by rallinie qthie .tore, that he Inn not
11 unmindful of titetr wants, unit rcspecllully
tea tliein to examine bis selection.
y Country jiroihicecf all kiuiU tnken irj fx-
nge for gomls ut tlie lilgnest market pru'c
unbury, Nov. 9, 1850.--ly.
EW STAGE! LINE
ROM POTTS Yl LI' E TQ SUAMOKLN.
, new lino, of stages is now running daily be.
rn the above place.. A romfortulile two horse
e will leave ML Cunnet for Shainokin, imme
ely alter the arrival of the 1'otUville itace at
: place, ana will rrturn the next day from
rookin, o ai to meut the PoUavillo eutge-ou
eturn to 1'otUville.
From Sbamokin to Trevorton
e will be eaUbiiahed a DAILY LINE bv ne
ni ao as to connect wilb tlii line at feiiamokin
ha mean time private conveyance will be in
'.lueoa et fcbauiokul ou Uia arrival of paaaen-
CONRAD KERSHNER.
bam.kin, Dec 14, 1850. If.
K. Botireau'e celebrated ink, and alao Con
Tea ink for sale, wboleaale and retail by
eombtt IS, 110. .
SELECT 'POETRY.
A Prayer for Iear Tapa.
V MRS., E.MII.V Jt DSON.
The following inexpressibly touching lim s
wnre written by this excellent lady, in April,
1830, alter the departure of Mr. Judson I rum
Maulmuin, on tho voyage from which he nev
er relumed :
Poor and needy little children,
Savour, God, we come in Thee,
For nnr hearts aiu lull of sonow,
And no oilier hopu Inive vu,
Out upon t!ie restless ocean,
There is one we deitrly love
Fold him in thine nnint ol'pi'y.
Sptead Thy fjuuidiau wiuyi nbpvn.
When th'i windv ate howlinij round him,
When the Hilary wain me hiyh.
When bliiek, heavy, ninliiiyhl shuduws,
On his liiickless pathway lie,
(iiii le nml cnaid him, blessed Savior,
Bid Ihe hiiri) it, ;j leiniel may;
Plant thy loot iijin.i its tvitleis, "
Send thy smile to liyht his way-
When he lies nil p ile and suireiinjr,
Stietehed upmi Ins nm row bed,
Wi:h no loving lace bent o'er him,
No soft hand aUdl l,is head ;
Oh. Lei kind ai d prjinu impels
Their biiulit tin m ittoutid him bow. J
Lei litem kis.s hi Insivy eyelids,
Lei Ihetu Ian his levered blow.
Poor mid needv liltle ( hildreu,
Slill we rai.Mi nnr civ In Thee;
We
have nestled in his bnsotn.
We have s,;viiie.l on his knee :
Dearly, ditiily do we love him
We who on his breast have lain;
Pilv now our desolation !
him back to us
a 2.1 in :
If it please Thee, heaven!): father,
e would pee him cojum once more,
Willi hisoldi'u step of viunr,
Wiih the love lit smile he. ivore ;
Bill il we must tietid Life's valley,
Oiphaned, jruidcloss. and alone,
Let ns lose not, 'mid iho shadows,
His dear foot prints to Thy Throne.
Z Select (talc..
2? HETTY WCMEK.
A PM'.AMNG SKtnCII, 11 V A PUKTTV WOMAN.
I ha vp often wondered why there are no
professed beauties' now-a-tlays, while every 1 cent and graceful, was eminently trying to
past ae can boast ils )relty wonieii. ' plain people, and as eminently propitious
H'e cannot open a pae of anv history ! to thoM' favored ; hence the exceeding
that does not record the fame of .some beau- value oj beauty hence the extraordinary
ty; the liible has its Rachel so lovely i renown of those ranking as beauties hence
that twenty years of service was deemed a ' the apparent rarity of that renown,
light fee for her aficct'ems ; the world was ! The hair was then worn completely lift
lost for Cleopatra ; the beautiful misttess of '"'l "iithe face, leaving exposed every fea
the French kings, ruled that world through i ture; unless tboje features were regular to
the hearts of their imperial lovers: even perfection, unless the complexion was
down to the day of (Jeorge the Fourth smooth as marble and pure as snow, who
there has always been some lady whose ; could look well? And how very well
charms have been more powerful than 1 those must have looked who did possess
inonarchs and prime ministers. 1 such advantages!
But I think the problem mav be solved ; ! 'U a lil,'r w,1Pn- tlle name of some
it is the difference of dress costume does f'IVl,ltt beauties are again recorded, the
it all ; revive the rollings of bv gone urres, costume, totally diflerent, was so hideous,
and you will revive all the beauty and u-li. hat no one could wear it with impunity
ness 'of those davs. For there "must have hence ihe high reputation for beauty of
been a good deal of ugliness, otherwise : Pau i,u Bonaparte and Madame Recamier.
beaut v would not have been so forcibly no- i T',e firmtT "3 described as appearing at a
preriated; had there been more pretty girls ', ',artir IV,' '' lur mighty brother in a tu
in the davs of Trov, IJelen would" have : n,c "' wlliu' 'llllsl'ni reaching a little below
hud few suitors and jllium might have been ' ,he kn''p an'' commencing far below the
standing yi t. ; shoulders, waist exceedingly short, anil
Shu must have been plain : so must. Sap- hound with a narrow girdle ; sandals cloth
pho have been Sappho cf Divine heart! ; ,'" S!"a" ,''et' while a mantle of leopard
But what is beauty when contrasted wjth i" hung loosely round the perfect form
genius? How many love a fool for her of (-'am,va'8 iai rest model,
I'yCH ? j A nd there are many who can yet remem-
But what I mean ta sav is this in those h('r tl11 appearance n Madame Recamier
times people dressed so unbecomingly, that . "' t'" parks of London, clad in n robe ol as
unless their features were perfect thev i scal,,.v as simple her dark hair
were literally nothing ; all the minor era"- i
ces which sei on a meiliocre person now
were totally unavailable under that system
of costume.
For instance, Helen must have worn a
loose robe, a broad girdle, bare arms, san
dels on her feet, and her hair back in those
rich, magnificent braids, termed to this day
'Grecian I'laits." j
But imagine for a moment all vonr ac-
quaintances dressed in this way ' Would
not the majority be fnghtly! How few
faces, how few complexions would stand
banding back ot thick hair! how few locks
are thick enough so to band back ! how few
lorms would show well beneath the simple !
robe, without stays or Mill petticoats! how
I
i'W leet would be endurable in tandals!
t i t.i i a . i
iiuw iet uiiiis woiiiii near tlie nooil-oav sun
aim 'he sharp winds, which would s mil re.
iniut- ineui to me patierti ami lorin ol a
washerwoman's!
Perhaps the Jewish costume of Rebecca
and R.ichael may have been a shade belter ;
nut tiers was the same exposure of neck
and arms with the additional disadvantage
of a robe that showed a leg encased in h(d-
eous doois and snoes, and that refused to
weep jvith Grecian amplitude around the
imbs ur the fair wearers.
Cleopatra who is renrespnterl ns hnih
dark and strong, could wear only the robes' Pdn','s, of loveliness, and to have felt that
of white or purple, the heavy diadem, the J'.0,"1" own (1'vinity was created by the sac
strings of pearls that wjreMhe allotted garh ! r.,f,ce ol whole hecatombs ot less fortunate
ol Egyptian princes. How dark and how
uncomely must have been the majority of
her counlay women may b judged from' the
sensation she made.
The Roman ladies were famed for their
stately carriage and somewhat large, though
noble features ; and when to these charms
were added those of regularity and delicacy
and beautiful coloring, no doubt their sim
ple and peu coqutlle style of dress was es
pecially becoming to them; but without
Ibesa latter qualifications, how o-aurjt and
coarse they must have appeared.
What can be more lovely than the figure
of Agrippina, bending that stately bead
above the ashes of Germanicus! the robe
falls in long sweeping folds; the bare arm,
naked. lo, the shoulder, mpports the urn
Ua Imr bnrikii back, ' shows tee perk'ci
profile, and pure oval cheek, the smooth
wiuw, nitr iiidiiiuceru fyej in kin tuv u
lolly chamber, i.ot a ringlet, not ti'.bon
inn me gleaming oi a jeweij orcuhs me
calm outline, or rinduru the severe unity
Aprippira could bear that style, Faustina
and Mes-alina. were less and looked even
better. Perhaps among the circle of our
acquaintance there are two or three women
who would appear to advantage so attired ;
hut oh ! how well for the dumpy and the
scMfrcy, "n(s rciroussec" and the '-nez snub'"
thai ihey fall upon better days.
Still we hear of some so striking lovely
as (o be known to all the world by the
fame ol their eyes alone ; of these we may
name Edith of the Swanneck, so called
from the brilliant whiteness of a ikin capa
ble of resisting the exposure to the sun and
wind, which tanned nuj. freckled i,nto
('rightfulness the queens and lofty ladies of
those days ; Rosamoud the Fair so fair
that it was said of her "Noe but a jealous
and exasperated woman could have harmed
her:" Beatrice CencL whose beauty makes
one f-hudder, so mysterious seems the light
in those larsje untroubled eyes, so soon to
close beneath the pressure of so awlul a
fate: Lttcretia Borgia, an angel in face a. de
mon in heart; Mary of Scotland, whom .'oo
man ever beheld without love," and some
lew others, until we reac'a. that famous trio
recorded, in the letters of Horace Walpole,
as '.he loveliest womeu of their time, the
three Misses Gunning.
One of these tin Dutcliesa of Hamilton
was so. renowned lot her charms, that her
fame spread far mid near,, inasmuch that
when t;nveling once from the North to
town, the mob in the places where she
rested at nights assefnbled round the hotels,
j nor would they depart until she had appear
i ed on the balconies to display Vo them her
I world-famed face.
I And there is something strangely sad in
j the account ol the death of anojher of the
! sisters Lady Coventry who perished of
I consumption, while in the highest pride of
! ymdli ;;ml beauty. She is recorded as pa
I tbmily awajling the approach ol death
I her looking-glass her constant companion
! as scarcely ever removing her eyes (rotn
tile reflection of her own face, aod as bet
I wailing only the too early extinction of a.
icauty wormy ot immortality.
At the time in which these fair sisters
lived, the style of dress, although magnifi-
wreathed around her head and fastened
with a bodkin to tlie summit, and a scarlet
mantle wrapped around her.
.Now-a-days, the toilet of a lady is ex
actly conducted upon the principles most
becoming to all ; few figures look ill in the
sweeping robe and lengthened corsage-rr-
"P1'' anil yet without stiffness; anklei.,
however thick, are concealed by the long
dresses now the mode, Features, however
coarse, can be softened and shaded into
s"""'i"mg like symmetry, by the judicious
J"'"'''""'"! of locks permitted to be worn
111 'a,Klff f oraim, or ringlets, jtut as Uest
slll,s ,,le 'ace "ley surround.
n'' w"" no arbitrary lashion fprces
lne exPns,re- of a frightful profile, a clumsy
arm a ponderous ankle, no rule exists to
prevent the reverse, to bring out her own
'.'good points" as she thinks best, and it is
easy to conceal her weak ones, without de
parting from the fashions that prevail.
Under these circumstances, it must cer
tainly be a consolation to our fair friends
, to feel, that although it is difficult now to
fa reputation of pre-eminent beauty,
' 's '''"icult to appear remarkably plain ;
" 11 18 surPly aeiwr 10 possess only moa-
a cnalinRi ann o know that there are
' 'vv fhe sisterhood without some redeem-
attraction, than to have been a very
faces.
1 hei'.b exists in liengal a particular class of
Brahmins, known by the name of Kulinn, who
are notorious for the number of iheir marria
ges. One member of this caste has been
known lo have formed three hundred matri
monial alliances, and to have had wives scat
tered ever a vast extent of country.
Wild Gkesb L,arga flock of wilj geese
passed over this cily early ibis morning, in
their northward flight. This in in ration of the
wild goose to the north in the spring, is gen
erallv considered as an indication thai ihe pold
weather is gone, uo more to. reluto, for (he
season. Buffalo Adytrlutr 271 yitj.
l Wusa God is, there nfc.hing is wanting
f 1 ?L?U. JlOVOil.CS
c-.
1
rATEjjT IAS0Il SAVIKg" rLUID.
The following humorous account of a
Yankee's adventures with a bottle of Wash-,
i.ng fluid is condensed lioin an article in the
Boston Museum.
Don't make yourself uneasy about the
children's dresses, ladies, exclaimed a labor
saving lluid-man, '1 have a few bottles of
the patent transparent washing-fluid in my
trunk, that wijl m five minutes time, with
out tlie least labor or inconvenience in tlie
world, mam, renovate the dresses in a man
ner that is truly astoui. hing, and bring back
the color to a lew shades brighter than the
orjgina! tint.'
A raw-boned Vermont er, sitting by our
side, and who until this time, kept us silent
as a pine slab, here diew up hu long neck
and exclaimed :
'Stranger, you'll oblige me much by dis
continuing your remarks nhntit your inter
nal washing lloid : lor I'm in rather good
humor to-day, and 1 don't wish to he rilid.
1 once purchased a bottle of that stulF, and
it came nigh ruining me lor lib-, and I've
taken r,n oath to lick the f:r.-t n.un that ever
offers nie another bottle. J could- tell you
a yarn on that sulji-ct, that would luing the
tears to your eyes ; but of cour.se no man
wants to hear a yarn now.'
The Yankee proceeds with his yarn thus.
Having on such an application, made a pur
chase, lie proceeds to detail his c:qeniunt.
'.My purchase v. as on Saturday afternoon,
about 3 o'clock, and 1 took my big blaik
bottle of fluid, put it in my coat pocket and
started for home. Now, thud;:, I to my
self, my wit.- alwavspicksup her clit!u-s on
Sunday night nml does washing Monday
morning alter breakfast: and so it would
be a good joke, for me not to let her know
anything about the blessed fluid, but get up
Monday naming, while she is asleep, put
the clothes in u tun, pour on the fluid, stir
'em up with a slick and hang them up to
dry. 'Lord! says 1 to myself, right in the
street, as loud as 1 am talking now, 'I'll do
it, by ginger, if 1 h:ve to get up at two o'
clock !' So when I gets home I yiA takes
the bottle of fluid out in the wood-shed, and
pokes it up on a high shelf among a lot of
old beer-bottles and blacking boxes, and
went whistling a round the house just as if
nothing hadn't happened.''
'Saturday night I went to market just as
usual ; and Sunday we both went to church
in the forenoon, ami staid at home and talk
ed about our future prospects in the alter-
poon ; but 1 kept a uei pmg fttli about the
fluid, and didn't let on but what I expected
she would do the washing next morning
jtut the same as ever. But I didn't sleep
much th.it night. I kept a thinking about
stirring up that tub ol' clothes, and getting
'em out to tl r v belore davii.:'i'. Once I got
into a little short doze, and I dreamed I was
swimming acros:i a deep river of gushina
fluid, and the rocks at the bottom and both
side
es were
all petrified shirt-bosoms and
pillar-cases, and there was an old washer
woman on the hanks of the river, who kept
a stirring on us up with a long pole. I
reckon I woke up r.bout five o'clock ; for
'twas just about hall between daylight and
dark, and I could, just see the lca.;test t.tn-ak
ol light in the world among the clouds
around the tops of the green mountains. I
turns over and looks at wife and she was
sleeping cs sound as a dead salmon: sol
carefully slid out o' bed, hunied o:i my
clothes, and in less than ten minutes, had
the old wah-tub filled clear to tire too with
all of my wile's white clothes, and all I
could find of my own. I poured in aSout
a pailful-aml half of clean rainwater, and
then goes nut into the v.-ood.hed, lakes
down- the bottle of fluid, walks back to the
tub, and pours her all in! Lord! but
'twould Lave done yon goo i to hear it
'Well,' says I to myself, 'if that's the dirt
coming out, it makes a good deal of noise
about it any way ; and 1 guess its doing up
the thing handsomely.' So after letting it
. . . . T.l ill
ur nhnnt n minute I laT.-es nil fill n if hr.inii.-
,, ... ,. 1 , ,, Jour passengers left, including all ol the
liunil ha lleir c:ie vt-iiu in.? m-ar. lehfl Inn' . .. ' p. : . ' "
the things about like a lamb
time, for about three u inntes, ami then
takes hold of 'em with mv hands to siring
'etn out on the fence. But gentlemen you'd
better believe 1 dropped that ere pile o' duds
mighty sudden ! biiin' water wan't a cir
cumstance to 'em, anil afore 1 could get my
hands into a pail of fresh water, I thought
my soul I should los- em both, rur about
minute, I was as mad as a scratched kit
ten, I finally thought I wouldn't wuke up
my wile Willi my bellenn, but hang out
the hilin' duds with the old broom-handle
and et 'em drean and dry on the lence;
but the plaguy things never atohd lo the
last minute, and every time a drop ol the
pesky fluid splattered on my hands or face,
it burnt worse than a half bushel frill of
live ct;als. I soon got tired of that spoil,
however, and before I had out on the fence
half of what was in the tub, I j n t washed
off my bands and face in some cool rain
water, and streaked it off to !d. Hut I
couldn't sleep a wink; ir.y hands pained
me so thut I had to keep a blowing on 'em
to keep from belleiing, so says I to my
wife, says I
'Susan, hadn't you better get up and put
your clcthes to soak !'
Ho, b-u-in,' says she, rubbing ner eyes
with her thumb joint and kind o' winking,
as if she was half asleep. 'Yes, John, 1
guess I bad ; but how long have you been
awake P
'Oh, sometime,' says 1, blowing my
hands, and digging my legs with my toe
nails all the time to keep from groauing;
'but get up now, Susan, do, dear, or you,
will be late with your breakfast, and I've
got to go out of town flits morning on jmr
portant business.'
'If that's (lie caw,' says she, 'I'll certainly
hurry.1
You may depend upon it, f entleinen, I
was in a mighty uncomfortable fix about
that time! I wanted to groan like a dying
horse and have something cooling wrapt
around my fingers; and then agaiji, 1 didn't
want to make any noise, till wife had seen
how nice I had fixed her things, Well,
wife she hurried and dressed herself and
went out into the kitchen to fill up the tub,
and in a few minutes I overheard her say
to herself, says she
Good Heavens and earth! What does
all this! I never-put these things to soak!
John! John! Get up and come here, do.
'I am under strong impressions, gentle,
men, that tfiis customer wasn't very slow
in hii movements about that time; for in
less than forty seconds, I was there, and
says
'What's the m&iter, Susan ? What's the
matter?'
'Why do look here, says she, 'somebody
has put all ol my b. st clothes in this tub,
and then put something on them which has
entirely ruined them !'
'lln, ha, ha!' says I, 'well Susan, 1 sup
pose I might as well own up to the joke at
once, lor my hands ache so that I can't hold
in any longer. Its nothing but wnahinsr
fluid, it cleans the clothes without any rub
bing, and it's well it does, for no pair of
hands in this world could stand it to do the
rubbing. I got up this morning while you
were asleep, and done up the whole wash
ing, and hung part ol Vin out on the fence
to dry.'
'Whiip I was saving this, wife she took a
klittle stick, and in trying to lift out of the
tub one of her or that is one of her gar
ments by ginger! the tarnal tiling hurst
in two! right through the middle! one
half holding on to the stick and tot lies fall
ing hack into the tub! Although I- was
suffering from my burnt hands, and was as
mad a.s a Green Mountain catamount, at
what the infernal Ki.ru had done, I couldn't
a kept from laughing at that moment, if I'd
a died for it.'
Wife took a peep at the clothes on the
fence called up the young doctor to dress
my hands, and then set down and had a
good crying spell. The Doctor hurried in
the roonij and after seeing wife a sitting in
the rocking-chair a crying, and me a walk
ing the ropm and groaning like a fall wind
in a graveyard, says he
'In the name of calomel and liol-.falep
what's the matter now?'
'Nothing particular,' says I, 'only I've
burnt up all the clothes in the house and
both of my hands-, with a bottle of thunder
iti' washiuir.fltiid that I've been experiment
ing with.'
'The Doctor looked at my hands! and
ys he
I 'U'lleee'a I Im Kr,t,lo1'
'Out on the door-step.' says T.
'The doctor went and looked at the bot
tle, ami then went out in the woodshed and
took a peep at the old beer-bottles and
blacking-boxes, and after swearing a little
to himself, came back into the kitchen, and
says he
Well, ynti hnive immortalized yourself,
am! no mistake, and you thill be known
hereafter as the Washing Fli id Explki-.mi-:xti:i!.'
'What in the thunder are you a laughing
at ? says 1.
'Wny,' says he, 'your boti'.e of washing
fluid stands on the shelf where you put it, I
supose, and you have used a quart and a
half of the best quality of oil of vitriol, that
I've had on hand these sixmonths.'
'Gentleman, I'm a man that don't use pro-t
fane language only in extreme cases, but if
I didn't make the atmosphere in that room
hha for a few moments, then t'was because I
ilidnt know how. I went and smashed up
the uncorked fluid bottle, and swore eternal
enmity to everything of the kind, and we've
always washed our clothes in the old fashion,
way ever since ; and if a man ever offers me
a bottle of the infernal stud' again he has got
to he a smarter man than I a.m or take a
thrashihg.'
By the time our loquacious Vermonter
ban finished his very interesting washing-:
l fluid story, our stage had arrived at lenna,
. urir, na i;'mi juill n uimi uu.e ii, iuu ui
e .... .''...
.. i,.,r., .... I. ...i. ...... i.i r.. : ...,i r
. ' .. ' children, and the dealer in patent transpar
,s tail in Ii V- i ,' ..fl.-, .,.,, ... ':.....
em iMiiii:-iiiiui,nijiiiii imiiti lur- 1 1- ill din
ing part of the trip, we lud a, very lively
and pleascnt time.
Vcn"l tin- Tree peuiM uit.
"Willie Brown.
The night w-as daik in Ireland,
The ram was falling down ;
And death was. stettliiuj to llie heart
Of little Willie down,
Ho lay upon his mother's knee,
And lm ked within her eyes;
Ol summers' lie had known but three,
And Ihey weio three, of stphs.
Hu looked within her gentle eyes
And li icil in vain to speak,
For the uiso had dimly tailed .
Fiotti the Jdly on his check,
Ami well the mother knew thu words,
11 1 i' .billing would have said ;
For tliK-ie lie Jay a dvina
Dying fur waul of biead.
The rain, upon ihe ray roof,
Came wildly rushing down
And anyels waited for the soul,
l)i little Willie Biowu.
He lay upon his mother's knee,
A,ud faster fell the rain
IU'never looked upon her fape,
Ox asked for biead again.
And paler grew his lilly cheek
Hi golden hair uncurled
And Ihe angels wispered him away
From hunger and the world.
Milwuukit, Hoy, SOlh, J850. MabV.
W'VJH Clarke asked in Sweden, what be
pama of a woman who fell down the shaft of
au iron mine that he visited. "Became of
her !" aaid the man to whom he put the que,
tion, striking his hand at the same tine forci
bly upon his thigh, ;he became a pan.
cake'," , .
HAYS AMD HIS HU..
Wn do not know where the following
came from, but we take it from a newspaper
on our Exchaiiue list's. Redstone, (t.ov
Brownsville and Bridgeport, in Fayette coun
ty, Pennsylvania,) was the scene of many a
bloody border fray, before, audi fiilmequeut
to the Revolution. Its locality is here pie
etited in n new and most comical li'ht. We
never laughed more over any tale in our life,
and it js commended to every surly reader
of this paper, as poqd for the blues.
Some forty years ago, llie managers of a
race course near Brownsville, on the Mono
galiela, published notice of a race one mile
heats, on a particular day, fur a pnrse of $100
Iree tor nnythmg with lees and hair on. A
man in the nrii'hbnrkpod, named Hay's bad
a bull that he was in the habit nf riding lo
mill-with his bag of corn,' mid lie determi
ned to enter him for lite race. Jl:j said no
Ihing nbont it to any one ; but ho rode) him
around the track a number of times, on sev
eral mnnnliiiht nights, until the bull had ihe
hang of lite .'round pretty well, and would
keep the ri"ht course. Ho rode with spurs,
which the bull considered particularly disa
greeable, so much lhat he always bellowed
when Ihey were applied to his sides.
On the morning of tho race, Hay's came
upon the. "round on horseback on his bull.
Instead of n saddle, he had a dried ox-hide,
the head part of which, w ith the horn still
on. he placed on the bull's tump. He car
rieil n short tin horn in hjs hand. He rode
to the judges stand, and r.ffeted to cuter his
bull for Ihe race ; but the owners, ui iho hor
ses that were entered objected. Hay's ap
pealed to Ihe terms of notice, insisting that
his bull had four legs, and liair on, and that
therefore be had a right lo enter him. After
a pood-deal of cussin and dissin, the judges
declared themselves compelled to decide
that h hnd a, riyl.1 to run and was. entered
Bccordinglv.
When lime for starling arrived, tho bull
and the horses took their places. The horse-
racers, out of humor at being bothered with
the ball, and al the burlesque which ihey
supposed was intended, but thought that it
would all be over as soon as the horses; start
ed. When the signal was given they did
sliirt. Hay's jjave the blast of his born, and
sunk his spurs into the sides of the bull, who
bounded olf with a bawl, at no trilling speed,
Ihe dried ox-hide flapping up and down, and
rat'.ling tit every jump, making a combina
tion of noisi) lhat bad never been heatd on a
race-enmse before. The horses, all flew the
track, every one seeming to be seted with a
sudden delemiuation to lake the shortest cut
to get out of ihe Redstone country, and not
one of them could lu btought back in timo
to savrj ihe distance. The purse was given
lo Hays tinder a great deal of haul swearing
on the part of the owners of iho horses.
A general row eumieit, but the fun of the
thing put the crowd till on thu side of the
bull. Tho horsemen contended lhat they
were swindled out nf tho purse, and if it
had not been fur Hay's hyin and ox-hide,
which he ought not lo have been permitted
to bring upon tho ground, llie thing would
not have turned out as it did. L'pon ibis, he
told them lhat his bull coul J beat any of
their homes anyhow, and if they would put
up a hundred dollars against tho purse he
had won, he would take oti'lhe ox-hide, and
leave his tin horn and run a fair 'race with
ihem. His otfer was accepted and the mon
ey staked. i
They again took their places at the start
ing post, and Ihe signal was given. Hays
gave the bull another touch with his spur
and tho bull gave a tremendous bellow.
The horse remembering iho dreadful sound
thought all the rest was coming as before.
Away they went again, in spito of all the ex
ertions ot their riders, while Hays galloped
his bull around the lir.ck again and wu.i the
money.
Tuitci: GRAINS OF BtJAl'TV which con-ti-tctb
a Pr.m-Ecr Woman-. Three ihhiys
white : iho skin and the hands.
TJiree black : the eyes, the eye-brows and
the eye-lashes.
Three rod : llie lips, iho cheek and the
nails.
Three long : the body, the hair and the
hands. '
Three short : Iho teeth, tho ear; a.ud the
feet. a
Three w ide or large : the cheek, the
fore-head and the space between the eye
brows. Three small : the mouth, tho waist and the
ancle.
Three plump : the arm, thu leg and the
calf of the leg.
Three delica'.o or fine : the lingers, the hair
and the lips.
Three small : ihe head, the chin and the
nose. Home Journal.
Georue BKi-r(Sj Esq,., gays the New York
Tribune, has offered a premium 0,(81000 to
the first inventor wh ha!l construct a,ud sub
mit for judgement a Press w hich will trow olf
50q large Imperial sheets per hour, and can
be built and sold for 8300.
Sukridam Knowlcs, it is said, is about to
appear as a polemical writer. He ha an.
nounved the publication pf a volume entitled
'The Idol Demolished by its 0u Priest,"
being an auer to lo Cardinal Wiseman's
former lectures un Transubstuiiliation. 1
Ah Injunction has been granted against
Cardinal Wiseman nut lo diaw i.7000, under
a dispeii) J will, wiihom lee of the Chan,
eellork"" '
DEFINITION OF CHARACTER.
Tommy Tewksbury gives, in tfie Yankee
blade, the following, as the correct defini
lione of certain characters.
Fine Fcllovs. The man who adve.lises in
our paper, the man who never tefusesto let d,
ym money, aim llie tetany who is courting
your sisier.
Gcuted People. The young lady who lets,
he mother do, the ironing, for fear. of spread",
ing her hands. The miss who wears thin shoes
on a rainy day, and liie young gentleman
v.;'tto is ashamed to be seen walking with his,
father.
liidnttrious. People. The young lady who,
read. romances in bed. The Irieiid, who is
always engaged when yoij call, and the cor
respondent w !)p cannot find time In. answer
your letters.
,1'iipipidnr Personage. A fat man in an
omnibus, a tall man in u crowd, and a short
man on pa radii.
Timid rcople. A lover, about lo pop the.
question, a man who does not like to be shot,
al, and a steamboat comply with,a cholera
case on board.
Dignified- Men. A ci) ip a country town,
a midshipman on quarter deck, and a school!
committee on examination Jay.
Pcrsccufd Ptuplt. Women, by the tyrant
man, boys by their parents, and, teachers, and,
all poor people by society at large.
Unhappy People. All, old bachelors, old,
maids, and married people.
Ambitions Chaps. The writer who pays,
iho Magazines for inserting ru communica-'
lions. The nolilician who quits his parly'
because he cannot get an office. The boy
who expects lo be President.
Ihimhle Pmon. The husband who does,
his wife's churning, Ihe wife who blacks her
husband's boots, and the inan who says that
he thinks you do him loo honor.
Mean People. The man who kicks people
when they are down, and thfcubscr1iber. who,
neglect lo pay for his paper.
Sensible People. You and l.
FKcncnicK. or Prissia had a mania for
enlisting gigantic soldiers into tho "Royal,
Guards," and paid an enormous bounty to
his reeiuitin:; ollioers for getting them. One
day a recruiting sergeant chanced lo spy au
Hibernian, wlvj was at laast seyen feel high,
he accosted him in English,, and proposed,
lhat he should enlist. Tho itkea of military
life and a large bounty so delighted Patrick
lhat ho al once consented.
'Bui," said tho sergeant, "unless you can
speak German, the king w ill not give you so
much."
"But," said the s.ergeant, "three words will
be sullicieut, and those you can learn in a
short Mme. The king knows, eveiy man in
in tho Guards, and quick as. he sees, you he
will ride up and ask you three questions, first
hi majesty w ill ask how 0I4 you are. You
will say twenty-seven next, how long have
yon been in service, you must reply three
weeks- finally, if your are provided with
clothes and rations ; you must answer
both"
Patrick soon learned lo. pronounce bis an
swers, but never dreamed of earning u,o
questions. In ihrefl weeks he appeared be
fore the king in review. His majesty lode
up lo him ; Paddy stepped forward with
"present arms."
"How odd are you V said the king.
"Three weeks," said the Irishman.
"How long have you been in the service."
asked his majesty.
"Twenly-seveu years."
"Am 1 or you u fool V roared te king.
"Both." replied Pol. who was instantly ta-
ken to the guard-house.
How to CoRitctTLV Ascertain: tue Aon
oy a l.tnv.-l first ask the lady acensed her
own age I ihen inquire of ber "dearest
fiiends." I next ascertain the dill'erence be
tween ihe two acconnls (which frequently
varies from live years to forty. and, dividing
1 hat difference by 2, I add lhat quotient to
the lady's own representation, and the tesult
is the lady' age, u near as the lad's ago
can be ascertained.
Example : Mrs. Wellinton Seymour gives
herself out lo be 28. Her friends, Mrs. Me"
Cube, Mrs. Alfred Stevens, Madam, Couichon
and Miss Jerkins, indignantly declare that
they will eat iheir respective bead off if she
i a day younger tlan 40. Now lb,e disputed
account stands lh,u :
Mrs. Seymours age, as represented by
her friends, 46 years.
Mrs. Seymour's age, as represented, by
heiself, 28 years.
Difference between the two, ages. IS
That ditlerence ha to be liivided by 2(
which, 1 believe is 9. If lhat is added lo
Mrs. Seymour's own slulementl the retult
obtained will be the answer required. Ac
cordingly, Mr. Wellington Seymour's uge is
36 a fact, which, upon consoling the family
bible, I find lo be perfectly crey..
Tue Ukssian F.y was itl?o.lueeil into this
country it supposed, by 'he foteiii meice-
tiarie in 777,on LongUland, ftom Iheir bag
gage, or in fotage for iheir horses. It has
pto.ved the greatest pest on ibjs continent,
with pethap the exception of the weevil.
Hists to the Beau. Don't always be
lieve a young lady is in lone with yon, be
cause she accepts all yoyr presents with a
smile and a "thank yon." Girls are like
young horses in thai respect remaining so
long us there is a morsel in the measure,
and then, unless yoti, have Ihem firm in your
grasp, turning about and kicking their hecl
al jou.