rpiTTii H Hi EJcuoicii to politics, Citcratuvc, Agriculture, Science, itloralitij, ani (general Sntclligcuce. r, rot- 33. STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., APRIL 20, 1876. jtT NO. 47. ,i fev Theodore Sc!ioc!i. 1 i : r V,.,;- two Joihirs and fitly n.;rU1..! until all arrearages are s.e.ru'e "I ieri'. iuu-;'i 1 ,vi. K.uli additional in s in iii'iii'iirl i"ti. :' r 2 I'E:I3T1X ai t. kinps v!v'' of th" Art, anil on the I- ruis a Vl:iiW I'll""- rwr sTKorisnriiG PA. . t:ii. i: : n r.'vl ail bui ncss i.oitanuii;.; a TiI;)Ml,(, j Km ite Ins njciee Agents. : r.v..' n-r the lVj.ot. lrri I?oniist :-i '.! U:t. 'en r!y f.pj?sU? .eivd t.r'oxt;.et:n.4 .Tan. P.,"i-lf. D i. ,r-vv S-irem and Accoucheur, Sni Clt, V.'aynk Co., Pa. APPEALS. Notice is lioreliy jrivon, that appeals will 1e held at the Commissi. .uers i!iee, in the Borough of St minis hur, l'.ir the s.-vrral Toviislii! and I'-orouyhs of the Comity of Monroe, in the followini; ordwr. 1'or .Tai-kson, rm nini, Cool!i:ui;li, Harrett, Parailise, rriee, Middle Sniithf.eld, Sinit ht'u l.l and Kast Strmid--lmnr, on Tuesday, the 21th dav of April, lsTii, at i; oM.K-k A. M. " And f,.r Ross, TCldr.sl, Polk, Chest nnthill, Tohvhan n:i, Tunkhaiiiiovk, Hamilton, Stroud ami StroudMuin:, on Wednewlav, the 2iith dav of April, liSTti, at lio'eltH.k A.M. " rKTKii s. Kmxr.r.i:, ('(-KNKI.II'SSTAIJNKU, JACOB 11. Tit ANSI i;. Attest, Coin;nisiouers. M. H. Ii;i:Ui:n, Clerk. Ajiril 6,'7(i. VA1ATABLE STOCK AT PRIYATE SALE. m A On to n.iv or M,y i::. --t i . )'' i. c .ii'. The undersigned olfers at jirivate sale the follow ing oel-'hrau-d stoek of Cows, lleif.-rs and Calves, wliii ii hret-d was imiirted hy Fowler, one the hest judges ol'siock in the I'nited Slates. A lot of Ayrshire Cows and Heifers. A lot of iMirhatu Cows and Heifers. A lot of crossed stock. A 1 t of Ayrshire Calves. A lot of 1 urlia:n Calves. The stoek can lie examined on the stock farm of Col. K. K. Norton, near il.i.s IVorough. For terms, At. eail on JOHN SKIAVOOD. Srrnndshnr.3. A : ril ft, 1 ST!. ORPHANS' COURT SALE. 1 y virtne o Monroe co.;;i ITi niises, on lili:ri.' order of the Ori-hans' Court o , will expose at l'u1 lie Sale uion the D ive the t : 1 1 : 'in1 llottsi1. Friday, April 23th, 1376, th- follow in.- d -x i ih.il P.eal l"-tate, lato of JOHN V5I,-)N. ease.!, vi.: A fvitnin iiii'ssn:i-f and farm of land, situate in .lavk-oii tow nship, Monroe coiintv, containing lil.i' TT -if n Cv o "fr 1 . 1 - ' -j nn car o v r il.i'-r Lands and Town Lots (.; in ! i:eiiC:tn Si;u'e. Iloues' T AN ...J-JA t MEGHAMIGAL DENTIST. 115 Acres, More or less, adj ;ni!iL' lands of Silas TVinhart, Win !i. ll.ii.har;. John M . Kins!.'.- and Panicl l'aul Ah.-:;t .s-A- rr- cl -ar.-d. l-.:i:u...- TIMId-l: I.AN1, Cliestin.il and a. Tlio impr.ik iineiiis area Iy Dwelling House, :.i..-.t:t :. x feet, two stories p.i-li. Frame T'.arn i"i feet, Slot.e stahhliiij. Frame iV.vu rlied IS feet, and other out buiidin-s. CumkI Ar)ple Orchard, - Patriotism in Danbury. They were going to get up a Lady Wash ington tea party for the benefit of their so ciety. It was to come off" on the 2'2d. Vnd on an afternoon a few days before, sev eral met at the house of one of the number to perfect the arrangements. It was deter mined to irive a ;rand affair something especially designed to transcend the tea party by a rival organization last year. To this purpose it became necessary to uevotc the most careful thought of till the details, and this was done. In fact, it would be difficult to find a more conscientious com mittee in a hamlet thze of anburv. When all the particulars were arranged, and the various stands and minor officers assigned to the ordinary members ot the society who were not present the impor tant question as to who should take the leading character was brought up. With a view to do without the delay and ill feel ing of balloting, the president kindly offered to do Lady Washington herself. JShc said that she felt it was not a favorable selection, but she was willing to take it, so that there need be no discussion or id feeling. If she thought she had not placed a sufficient modest estimate upon her quaUiications for the post, she was presently set at rest on that head. Her offer was received with From, the Inquirer. THE CORLISS ENGINE. Farm Mortgages. rilOUD CENTENNIAL TRIUMPH OF AM E51ICAN SKILL THE MONSTER MA CHINE TRIED AND FOUND PERFECT DESCRIPTION OF THE DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE ENGINE. In Machinery Hall, at the Centennial grounds, last evening, the Corliss engine, which is to furnish the power for the main shafting in that building, or, in the other words, is to be the main source of all the mechanical motion in that department of the Exposition, was given its trial test, and found to be in perfect working order, although the parts were never put together before, but were made at the Corliss Works and brought here separately, to be fitted toge ther for the first time. The engine was completed on the 10th inst., and, according to contract, was to "run thirty days prior to the opening of eral ren silence. she as kcd. "I'm :nd i : n er fr-iit on the preie.i-es. Als- V.'ater on the rs. The puUie road l. a.iinu from Mroudshur le-llavi ii passes throii-h the premises. mauc to V'l Side to commence at 1 o'clock, p. ni , condition kvwn :.v Kv npr of the Court Ti!. M. MtiuiANKY. Ckr: AV.M. 11. P.I'INlf ART, V.'.M. Ii. WlL-oN, Administrators. :. April l-:;t. si-.-on 1 ?.ry f ; !:.-t i.v : ;..'-t and T . lis : re- :i i . : ! ii skillful lii.n:- ict-iral Teeih: a on Rn!.l.er. ;-;Vet .ii in ;.!1 :'an er of or to tie.. liv- : i tf. OFFICIAL NOTICE. ; k -.- p 5 O o:. T.V .1 t! ORGANS ! iMly finished in . i r i-:i;:ivtitr in -: :r.,' iliiic.iey of tone, t :.! prct.isitm piv ( 'iv-r.-.'.-i :tt the Monroe ii!' ji! !- ii-t tn'.'IiTS .!. Y. SKIAFI'S, rt.j:j STSeUDSBUSG, : 1 v.. ; : r, t . tall-comi.lcxiot.ed YOUNG MAN, arcd ff c. Jr. i oioht l.".o Ihs-. Had on. Avhen last seen two pnir.s ol' swallow-tailed sealskin troivr. fashionnl-lo niiaton ontlc-t waiwoat, t ? r 3 V 41 3? A i tt GLAZIER AND PAINTER, MONllOi: STREET, Nearly ovwo Kautz's CJ.-icksmith Shop, yiKOlDKClUG, Pa. form ;! the is ,W U.JV pre.nrt.J OII!"Tlia,!?inyt (Jlazing : nrr.r... . . . v. oumj respect rally in i roudobor-' and vicinily to do nil kinds an.l Pamtinjr. i!ii at fcliort t;otice. and lltat he ? constant Iv on h:it::l afute ttock ol W lf:::iin of a'l dcecrint ions and at pr:c-s, T!:o nat rcii.Tf; f)f'tke nublifi rnPKt!y M,!;ctotL " fMay 1G, 1672. fe-lli euV iil k" I'.) FOR SALS, iT-'r.- of '""o'Mir, 1).., V.' s;, is; " nr. 1 I'd, near tl:e Court i'd Le s'ld together or sepa i.sers. 1. S. LEE. -tf. Dwelling House for Sale T e .e !';;!. f i v.o s;rr 1 -..! r.c tfoiisp colli ail tr'h U' '"" V ''"""'s. oi:e of which is snilal.le ,,r. if ! " 11 ''"'e Room, s;( ui'.'.e on Main .street, -' '. J;,''"a,;ii of Stroieishur. The it..... ; . 'Ill ' n ' ' 1 j 1 1 ! ! . ! : neiii'ly new, e'ld every jiai't i;oijd cundiiiuii. For terms Ve., Dee. J, lf-T.-.-tf CAUTION ! trir',l.I1t'rs'',ns are hereby cautioned not to ki'ii'itP 'n il!'-V i,rolH'rtv "of the undersincJ, An.'. 111 rJ"d township, Monroe coimtv, I 'a. to tV ::vi11,haiii? t!,is notice will be prosecuted ej.:cntoi the law. JACOIJ II. LUTTS. Jul 1) y'4 i7; 0vr Villi I-f. -v....- TV L'li,-:vr.::rty X Suns are the only Under lulJ a 'jtr,f,udobur who understands their Iv a...r Il0t- atU'inl a Funeral managed i!l v ,i -'r l;ud;rtakor in town, and you t i . . .I.... . o.lt.irro on froe'.: coat, v.itli horse collar and 8ausa-e ' T,-it;(.r.t l.-at u-r-bottoni topslioe?, Jacea tlo- -ol.- ami buttoned inside. - . t i t r .1 lie isiionl and oumu 01 fne eye unu n.nu of Iiearin with the other, with a Fiiglit squint i.tj .v- t'.;h stooos verv ui nzlit with a Lu.,1 im'tx diment in bis look, chignon on tin t.pr lin with whiskers Mitc-n on snon uihiue; r,.,..!'!! likia torn t.ocket : hair of a deep scarlet blue ami parted from ear to yonder; Calves of - . .1 ill le"-s rising 1 years, to he poia cneap on ae- . r . 1 1 . f ,tt1' . tir it l!tifril ronnt 01 ilie nearness i mun. . with other peoples' money, and well Known to arood templar, bavin?: been elevcuteen anembcr of the I. O. O. T. H Often Tight Society). vears Get insultlncr,' Anv one who knows ofhis whereabouts will please report at the Hmpirs Clothing Store, where he will find the L AUG EST and LEST ASSORTMENT or Men and Boy's Clothing, Hats and Caps, Gents' Furnishing Goods, Trunks, Valices, &c. &c. kept in this vicinity, and which we will sell at the LOWEST PANIC PRICES! If you want to save money don't fail to ex amine onr stoek before purchasing elsewhere. If you want GOOD GOODS at low price, there w no plare in Monroe County to com pete with the KM PI UK CLOTHING BTOKL. Our new stock is complete in every particu lar. Tlease call and examine for yourselves. SIMON FRIED, at Kmimiie Clothixo KroitE. iStroiidlurg, March 23, 1876. tf. "What do you think?" willing to do it." 'Lady Washington never weighed 250 pounds," ominously hinted a thin lady, with very light eyes. 'She had fat enough on her to crease a griddle, which is more'n some folks can claim," retorted the President, with any thing but a dreamy expression to her face. The tall lady's eyes rrrew a shade darker and her lips shaped themselves as if they were saying ''hussy," but it is probable they were not. 'As our two friends are so likely to cc," observed a lady whose face y-howed that she was about to metamorphose herself into a barrel ol prune oil, and precipitate it into the troubled water, '! would suggest hat I take the character." "Humph !' ejaculated the President. "Is there any objection to my being Lady Washington ?" said the new part', facing abruptly the President, and empty ing out the oil and filling up the barrel im- icdiatcly with a superior grade of vinegar. "I don't know of any, if some one will demonstrate that Lady Washington had a wart on her nose," replied the Prcideut, with unblemish serenity. "Am I to be insulted," hotly demanded the proprietor of the wart. "The truth cuglit not to be replied the President. "I 'spose our President thinks sho would be a perfect Lady "Washington' ironically suggested a weak faced woman, who saw her chance for taking the character deject edly emerge from the small end of the horn. "I don't know as I would be perfect in that role," replied the President, but as there will bo strangers present at the part', I should't want them to think that the nearest approach Panbury could make to the dignitary of '7G was a toothless woman down with the jaundice." And the head oflicer smiled serenely at the ceiling. "What do you mean, you insinuating thing," hoarsely demand the victim of the jaundice. "Keep your mouth shut until you are spoken to, then," severely advised the pres ident. "I'm not to be dictated to by a mountain of tallow," hissed the chromatic delegate, flouncing out ol the room. "I think we'd better get another presi dent before we go any further," said a .'harp faced woman, very much depressed by the outlook for herself. "It isn't hardly time for you yet," ob served the president, with a significant look at the sharp-faced woman, "we will have to arrange for Lady Washington and George Washington before we will need the Jiatchtt." The sharp-faced woman snatched up her muff without the faintest hesitation, and rushed out doors to get her breath. She was immediately followed by the proprietor of the wart, the thin lady disastrously con nected with a griddle, and the toothless case of jaundice. This left but the president and a little woman who had yet said nothing. "Has it occurred to you that you would like to be Lady Washington ?" asked the President, concentrating both her eyes on a wen just under the small woman's left ear. "Oh, no," gasped the small woman, im pulsively covering up the excrescence with her hand. "Then I guess we'll adjourn sine Ze," said the president, and pulling on her gloves she composedly took her departure. And the tea party became the fragment of a gloomy memory. A t ics. the Exhibition." The following description will be found interesting : Mr. Corliss made the first sketch of the engine, boilers and shafting nine months and twenty-six days ago. The weight of the engine, boilers and shafting now on the ground is 1,'JG0,5SS pounds, and the height, to deliver it on the grounds, cost S") i 12 53. Three car loads are yet on the way. It required ten trains of six cars each, Almost every one who has had occasion to buy a farm to and the have l'c a portion of the purchase money on mortgage, must have felt the injustice of being taxed for what he does not really own. A man buys a larm lor say oiu.uu j, ana c,uww ic- 1 . .1 o 1 mains, he pays taxes to me iua aiue oi the $10,000, besides paying S200 m this state or 500 in the west for the use of the 85,000 remaining unpaid on the land. Put the government not only makes him pay a tax on the whole 10,000, supposing the farm to be assessed at the lull value, but ccmcs the second time and taxes the holder of the 85,000 he has "out at interest." Now the man who has money at interest is determined to make six per cent., at least, on his money. He must do it to make it worth his while to have money out at all. And so he looks about to see how he can fix things as to make it fall on the holder ot the land. So he either takes it into con sideration in fixing the price of the land, if he is selling, or if he is merely lender on land he extracts a heavy "bonus" or buys a mortgage at a discount in order to make himself whole ; and in this way the one who is so unfortunate at to owe anything on land, pays taxes twice on his indebted por tion to one only when it is clear oi all incum brances. This is a curious anomaly in law. Usually it is thought to be the ge nius of good laws to favor the honest, iudas- sixty freight cars in all, to transport it to trious, struggling debtor ; but in this par the grounds, the shipments being so ar ranged as to cross the Iludsou at New York without breaking bulk. The engines consist of two vertical beam condensing engines of the following dimen sions : Diameter of cylinder, in inches, Length of stroke, in feet, Diameter of air pump, in inches, Stroke of air pump, in inches, Diameter of spur wheel, in feet, Width of face, in inches, Diameter of pinion, in feet, Width of face, in inches, Revolutions, per minute, 40 10 1 21 30 24 10 21 ticular case of a tax on mortgages this law is made to operate in just the other way. lt seems remarkable that any tax should have ever been imposed on mortgages un der the head of property. If there be any tax on income, the money derived from mortgages might have there a legitimate place. Put as property it is clearly absurd as a mortgage is simply the evidence of debt. It is no more property than is a duly-attested receipt for money paid. It is indeed nothing but a promise to give pro perty in case certain stipulations are not carried out in manner and form as afore- Peace in the Family. The following excellent rules of provid ing peace in the family have been pven : 1. Remember that our will is likely to be crossed every day, so prepare for it. 2. Everybody in the house has an evil nature as well as ourselves, and therefore we are not to expect too much. . To learn the different temper and dis position of each individual. 4. To look on each member of the fami ly as one for whom we should have a care. 5. When any good happens to any one to rejoice at it. C. Wnen inclined to give an angry an swer to ''overcome evil with good." 7. If by sickness, pain or infirmity wet feel irritable, to keep a very strict watch over ourselves. 8. To observe when others arc so suffer ing, to drop a word of kindness and sym pathy to them. 9. To watch for little opportunities of pleasing, and to put little aunoyancca out of the way. 10. To take a cheerful view of tho weather and of everything, and -to encour age hope. 11. To speak kindly to the servants; to praise them for little things when you can. 12. In all little pleasures which may oc cur, to put self last. V.j. To try for "the soft answer which turneth away wrath." 14. When we have been pained by an unkind word or deed, to ask ourselves : "Have I not often done the same aud becu forgiven ?" 15. In conversation not to exalt our selves, but to bring others forward. 10. To be very gentle with the young ones, and trect them with respect. 17. Never to judge one another harshly, but to attribute a good motive when we can. ,- ob said. It is in no sense property, yet as Line shaft will run three turns to one of property it is taxed, although the property which it covers is already taxed m the hands of the one to whom it has been deeded. It came up before the supreme court of California recently, by the objection of the engine. The engines arc connected at right angles with each other. The spur wheel and pinion were cut with the celebrated Corliss cutting engine, and run noiselessly. The power will be distri buted from the first shaft on which the tuition is secured, in four main lines, bv means of twelve (12) mitre wheels made of say in which this anomaly exists the best gun mctel melted in an air furnace, mantoichi Tdeyrapli. These wheels were also cut on the patent cutting engine, which will be erected in the building aud be put in operation during the Exhibition. The weight of spur wheel alone is 5G tons, and with cranks and shaft 73 tons. The tiitch of tho teeth is 51 inches. With a boiler pressure of 75 pounds per "With forty years experience and obscr square inch, the engine cutting off the vation in road-mending, as now practicd by steam after the piston has traveled one-sixth of the stroke ( 20 inches") and expanding Wouldn't fool with the Law. mortgage-holder; to pay this sort of "pro perty" tax, and the court decided in favor of the holders. And what do other states G'cr- In Regards to Roads. correspondent of the Rucks county Iaiclli'jcnccr gives the following sensible hints in regard to road-making and mend ing improvement in Lehigh University. We have received a circular from Rev. J M. Iivitt, President cf Lehigh University, at South Rethlehem, from which we learn that said institiutiou affords admirable fa cilities for a thorough education in civil, me chanical and mining engineering, metallur gy and chemistry, in addition to a classical course, including French and German. Ry the liberality of the founder of the institu tion, Hon. Asa Packer, the tuition is free All young men who desire a good practical education would do well to procure a cata logue, and satisfy themselves as to the merits of tho University. Priday, April 2Sth, will be observed by Methodists as a day of prayer and fafctnig -w supervisors, 1 can see no that time. It is fair to presume that as they have followed the footsteps of their predecessors, they wul bo likely to so con tinue, unless there is a law made to change their customs, or good reasons given that will make voters take action and only elect such men as will promise reform "I have a road front ol about lo00 ie-ct, 1000 level and the balance hill. The gut ters are kept open, as 1 thinlc it pays to put all I can get out out of them hog-yard and stables. The level part of the road has not cost the township anything for the last six teen years, and the road is a great deal bet ter than where the dirt has been thrown into it. The hill, with an hour's work af ter a hard rain, can be kept in good order by clearing the crossways "Now, 1 think any observing man will o.liiiiK thof tlir. viorn vnn vniiml mi :i ro:iil and are estimated at t -horse power each, that ,m . Ia the suil the more mud there 1400-liorsc power in all. , , , , j t j summor. The engines had the steam turned on at t .,1 pkes the road rough in the season six P. M., and, after being turned orcr oue wl,eu it U most pleasant to travel, as it is revolution by hand, so as to make sure every- customary for the supervisors to throw sods thing was in wording oruer, tuey com- m the roads in May and .June. 1 would menccd to run at G:35, so quiet and noise- ijj;c to see a law passed that would require less that, with your back turned toward or compel pronerty holders to remove the . . . . i .1.1 . r' them, you would not have been aware mat Carth taken out ol gutters by supervisors they were in motiou. 0r contractors, or in case of neglect or re- The start was witnessed by a large num- fusal, to pay at least one-hall the cost of re ber of prominent persons, among whom moval. Also, that supervisors be required one hundred inches, it will exert a power ofG50 horses for each engins, or 1300 lorsc-powcr for the two engines. The water for condensing the steam of these engines will be supplied from the lake, on the north side of Machinery Hall, and the water from the hot well vail be emptied into a special drain constructed for that pur pose. The engine is fitted with boiler feed pumps, which take their supply from the hot wells of the engine, which will averaged 1C0 to 110 degrees Farenheit. The boilers arc of the Corliss patent, and are twenty in number, i hey are known in the trade as vertical tubular, and con sist of an outside shell, 43 inches in diame ter and 14 feet long ; they contain 4S tubes, 3 inches in diameter, for each boiler, The other day an honest looking man called into the office of a justice of the peace, and wanted to know if he could commence suit against a neighbor for as sault and battery. He wa3 informed that he could, and he brightened up, and con tinued : "Well, make out a lawsuit right away. He kicked me mighty hard, and I want you to plug the law right into him." As the justice reached for a warrant tho visitor asked : "How much will you fine him ?" "I can't tell anything about the case un til it is tried," was the reply. "Then he may get off?" "i'es." "And I may have the costs to pay my- V'"Ycs." "And you won't agree to fine him ?" His honor began to read a frigid law let tcr on the practice of law, but the man for whom it was iuteuded started for the door, saying: "I won't fool around with law. I've got three dogs and two grown-up sons, and I guess the pile can lick him blind in two minutes ?" Milwaukee Tobacco. were Directors General Gcshorn, Messrs. Corliss, Morrell, Albert and Cochan, Cen to divide the township into small sections, and to sell the sections to the lowest bidder tennial officials, and also W. D. Lockwood, at public sale, taking security to have the Professor Parker. W. Rarnct Lc Van. of roads kept in jrood repair. I think this the Pranklin Institute, and others inter- would be a great saving to taxpayers. estcd in the advancement of American in dustries. A Cow that Gives Butter. Important to Assessors. Mr. F. W. Green, Sec. Ohio Centen nial Roard, recently received a letter from Attorney General Lear having been ad- A. Lyons, of High Hill, Muskin gum Co., dressed in relation to the law on the ques- O., describing a cow inhispossessionwho.se tion of the time when assessors elected in milk produces butter in stead of cream. February last would be inducted into office, We copy from the letter as follows, leaving replies that their term will commence as our readers to comment for themselves : heretofore, at the expiration of the terms This cow has had her second calf, and of those elected on the third Tuesday in her milk produces butter without churn- February, 1S75, and will continue until the ing. hen set in common pans lor twen first Monday in April following thecxpira- ty-lbur hours, butter rises on the milk in tion of their respective terms. 1 u other stead of cream, and all we have to do is to words, the assessors elected in February take the ladle and throw it into the butter will commence their terms of office, next bowl ; with two or three minutes' working fall, and continue in office until the first it is ready for the table, aud it is superior Monday in April, 1S78. There can be no butter, at that. The quantity produced is election in February next year, and asses- fifteen to twenty pounds per week when sors will not be chosen until the spring clec- she is fresh. She is a full breed Durham, tion of the year following. Those who arc and a very peculiar animal chosen at that time will commence their duties on the first Monday of April ensuing, During March the Ruilding Inspector and thereafter the elections aud terms will of Philadelphia, issued 85'.) permits, an in be regular, and occur annually. In two weeks, nearly two hundred judg ments were entered in the Prothouotary s . J ofiice iu York county. crease of 14S over the number issued dur ing the same month in 1873. Among the permits for the last month were 131 lor two-story aud 20S for three-story dwelling houses (From an Fxclianyr,) Four little girls in Milwaukee arc cm ployed by a certain well known wealthy to bacco dealer to pick up whatever may be found in saloons, on the streets and in tho gutters at one cent for very ten pieces, whether large or small. Every cigar stump and discarded "quid" is picked up, no mat ter now dirty it may be, no matter who has used it or where it is found. These are used in the manufacture of both "choice" Havana cigars and paper chewing tobacco. longer and better "stumps are un rolled and used for the former purpose, while the "quids, short stumps and soak ed and rotten "tips" arc made into chew- tobti :icco. Although this is leap year, girls should think twice before they jump once. A woman of White Haven, Pa., heather hus band over the head with a poker for being out late at nights, and a stony hearted jus tice actually fined her ten dollars. I he fact that her husband had to pay the fine gives a silver lining to the afiiair, to be sure ; but suppose he hadn't been worth ten dollars ? A Yankee lecturer on "The Sanitary Conditions of Existence" sternly asked his audience, "Does one woman in fifty fill the lower half of her lungs with air?" and was utterly disconcerted by heal ing a squealing voice reply, "I guess if you'd ever heard the voice of your mother-in-law when she was iu a rage, you wouldn't ask that question." It may be true, but it is said that an Irishman, after he had seen the numerous hills and mountain ranges of New Hamp shire, exclaimed, "Eedad, 1 never was in a country before where they had so much laud that they had to fctock it." A New York lady was examining an ap plicant for the office of niaid-of-all-work, when she interrogated as follows: "Well, Mary, can you scour tinware with alacrity ?" "No ma'am ; I always scour it with sand." Rt-Carbonate of Soda or baking soda is a remedy for that most aggravating of com plaints, the toothache. Soak a bit of cotton in a solution of the soda in water and apply to the aching tooth. It will give ulmofct in;. taut relief. nr
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