5 JL XX Jji Ocuoicb to politics, Citcraturc, Agriculture, 0cicucc, iiiovnhhj, onb cucral Kntclligcurc. rTvJ hr T:i-4rc Stliocli. . . n Ivnnee and if rot y'srfJ,int;n:,..i until all arrearages are ''-pttii1' , n . t ,,,ar,. f 'ci 'l:t linesor -rtS"si 5. Ca h --Miti-ual in- ri-rv . .M...,r ni: in proportion. .... - . - OK ILL KIM'N ..v. . . I KINDS. j-1 f the Art, nl n the .M.. triiii. f1 MlMl'V Public, 'I ,MrTRori)r.uiui pa. . . ..l-itiii-n and all business pertaining i"1 i n :; l oo.ni su-. IV-a! Estate In-ura-iee Agents. ., buil 2in; n-r tha Depot. ,'vi. peck. 4.":1 jjijii. oil admautercd ftr extacting Jan.6,'T-tf. j...:;;13i5jrjji anl Accoucheur, S.VXI UCT, W AVXK CO., I'A. vn-':!- at:ea.IcJ, to day or night. P , 1,, May 13,'75-tf. i . . i-3u I n- builllng. nrarlr w " ".1,1 n.:ii-ccc oo Sarah trcvt. Uloru?) lit I-aiV, , ! r ' .ve t'ie 'SirouJ-.liijrg House,' WILLIAM S. USES, ;-77or, Covevancsr and Geal Es&ate Agent. Li?, Ti3bar L".nds arrl Town Lots FOR SAI (it mir!v r;vi-ite American IIoue :1: i. r ! tne Corner i;ore. DR. J. LANT Z, ":; 5: MECHANICAL DENTIST. " U o?rn Miin ?rt. in tlie S'vond story .: II i j. aih) h fljUTi hiius 1:" tl.ai by ci.l: .aiut ;.ro. :i;.' an i ;!: Ti.r-t i-aru. t ai.d . i':r:::i :j kii :;i.i:t-rs p-riHiuiuf to Li pro- :: :i U f f p -rf r:n ail ri-Ta!. iotis ;!av- ii iue iii'j?; car-.-luI aui stiiiful xuau- ;':'a;:.-.a ;cn : sitia; th Natural Teeth : :. :ot .. -r.i .! of ArriS.-ial Te.-th tu UubU r. : i".u:iu jojj ouic-i, atid perftfct fit in all ki- th rrat fiiiy and dan-.-r of rn- -r j.-i u, ii; iutfi pcri.-!i-"--d. or to t hoe . 53.-. Aoril 11- 174. if. AAOIIILSl TUOl'UY YVO. EV TV.Z 3TZI COTTAGE ORGANS ! 7 ,-. f.ri .r jmI !a-ifif i!1t finilied in 'r.,f! M1 fj ,, ij.jr (iiii'UHr in p r.;v. ,rii 5,,j (ielirr.t-v if tone, fcHwfrs f rvl ()r.i;i at t!ie Mourue Fair. Uld Sxlr 25. 1S74. J. Y.SIGAFUS, iiJSON PAPER IIAKSER, G1AZE?. AND PAINTER, MO.VKOE STREET, Mpposite Kautz's niackhmitb Shop. Stbocdsbi-ro. I'a. 'HO-,? ..... . .... , . . . J . ir- !Q":h -TH .J vicinity 11 u ii ,..-. ...tl.. . . ... rf Li t Urt".t,TvA 'It lit! Uli Will, f If at .J ..., .1. . t - "y.III" II I I lllillll. i: i ti r. tii urn n t" " C"H tiiiil! v rn t. ...i . r.. ..tr ... i&f J - ' ' M Al Tl .lin.ll ' r- of a J .i.-Krru -ion- ami ... . ... 4 t i r-,.. .... .. . i ici.d. fM4y 16. 172. J'OR SALE, ."i 5 nTJf.djU''! h' i nr ttie Court . . M "I -la to ''ther or aeDa- ''-e I D.S.IXTL ---.i, 19.3. if Celling House for Sale. k:n.ru . f-id Ij,- . ""ui.n-; I a"i5 v'MHcili 4 'A f. f . Ml ' " "Au " otvLUU is isuiiald? .4i,. ' ! a Mur I! . ...r.. . . ' t? c:"iin i ... ..... . . nu iuuiiiou. Fur Unua Ac. CAUTION ! - rr-on, . ..r. , in Z y yr"lrl v of thf iin.ler.-i-n.-.l, t.. ,r"'iii ti.i. ,,.1 :.. r . i.. 'nv f,u,- ;-'', Jinuroe iiiiitv, u. tirost-oiittd of i Im-i-, 'zr. r . JA:) BUTTS. 0T iUv ...J?u. iiou llial J. II. rT';,lUl'U wli.i milorstiii'Is their ytk eii i a Funeral managed ill t Br DUUR, Decker-. Column! Old Kriss Kinde o After ?ttz around Monroe county, creep in; slyly down the chimneys on Christmas and New Year's and filling the stockings ot the little urchins, make theui and their Mammas dance fur joy, has gone back apiin tu his Cottage in the mountains of "Paradise" where he keeps his good things, there to stay until next Christmas : BUT DECKER OF THE Wonderful .Cheap AUCTION STORE IS . STTLIi AROUND TO PUT THE DOLLARS INTO THE POCKETS OF HIS CUSTOMERS. Ho wants to SELL off all his Goods, from the finest French Msrino, down to tho last Shoe String. lie wants to SELL every yard of Culion, OVffV Vr:ril nf l)r.vu .L- ..,...! .. - . J ' v . - w vti tuiu hi Muslin, every yard i f FLnuoI, eveiy yard of ieacr loin, tv-rv Vara ol l.;:suucr and atinctt, and every Uiit & 'i?hoe, every Coat, l'aiits &. Vest, and every Hat Cap. In fict he watits to sell every thincr he has now in the Store, so that he ni.iy till it up early in the Spring with the cheapest j.nd uinst beautiful Good ever sold iu Stroudsburg. We Will Sell off at Auction Prices, Commencing at S o'clock in the morning and close at the same time in the evening, at the following SniaNli Down Auction Prices. T!c5-t Shoe-Strings, Sets doten. 1let Xeed!esvfcts a pajer. I'ins all siz;'S. fk-ts a paper. 12 I)-zeu Shirt Iiittns, all for Sets. Ladies' made Callars, - atid ict. Men's heavy mixt Hose, only lOcts. Children's i Misses Fancy Hose, S and llVts. Indies' Fancy Tlose, only 20cts. ladies' Merino Hose, only 15cta. Splendid Calicoes, l atid Tcts. Fine Muslins, 1 yd. wide, S and lOcts. JV-autiful Aljiac-a Lustres, only 20cts. B'ack Alpacas, only 2."cts. 1'Lii l Dress Goh1s, only 12 Jets. Vine IK-Lins. onlv 15cTS. - j Very Sue French .leriuoes, 7Cto90cts. liediick and Denims, 12 to 15cts. Very fine Woj1 Kl.iuels, 2l to 25ctg. Heavy Cotton Flannel, only 'Jets. Heavy fine ltose Cluukels, only $3.00 to Sl.fKi a f air. Fine Black Beaver Cloth, only $2.00 a yard. Black, Blue & Gold mixed. Cloaking Cloth. 7"cts upward. Ladies' Sacks, ready made only $1.00, Good heavy Cassiniers, only oO to 75cU. Kentucky Jean, only locts. Cotton Bats (gl ; only 1 lets Cotton Carpet Warp (fine) 28cts. Men's Boots, (Cue & heavy) $3.00 to $3.75 a pair. Youths' iS; Boy's Kip Boots, only $1.2o to $1.75. Ladies' fle Laced Shoes, only $1.50 to $2.00. Ludies' fine Button Shoes, $2.50 to $2.75. Ladies4 & Mioses Ktib!crs, only 50et. Men Kubber Boots, $3.15, Shoes 75cts. Men's CoatJ $3.50, Fants $2.50, Vest $1.25. Boy's whole Cassiiuer Suits, $1.00 to $G.(H. Men' Casmner Suits, 6-S to $10. 3ieu'b Black Broadcloth Suits, $12 to $n;. Men's Soft fashionable Hats $1.25 to Wy' Sfi 11. 50 to OHcts. Jidie, Velvet Hat TriiuaiaJ, $1.50 to $2.)0. Indies' & Children's Furs, nearly as possible half price. Brides lou of things tan numerous to mention here. Now we are bound to fcell these Goods at these Auction prices every day and night during the winter. The past year has leeu a hard one, and money scarce, but thanks to our customers it has been a l.nsv vear with us. f..r we have sold more goods tly? past year than any year previous, Miice we have been doing business in Stroudsburg, and we trust that in the year to come we thall make goods of all descrip tion so cheap that our customers aud sales will be largely iucreased. DECK ERA CO. 4 doors below the Tost -Office, Stroudtbarg, IV April 15, 1875.- Ij. STROUDSBURG, MONROE THE MOLLY MAtiUlKES. Expose of the Notorious Cabal. CO.FCSSIO. Or A 3II RDCRCR. The Reign or Terror at Tamaqua ASSASSINATION OF lOLICEMAX YOST Shocking Details of Crime THE SECRET ORDER OF HIBERNIANS Effects of Ardent Snirits Betiilehex, April 5. James Kerrigan, now under sentenee for complicity in the munler of Policeman Yost, at Tatnaqua, hist year, has in idea voluntary confession, which accords entirely with the sworn evidcticc iu the case. THE STATEMENT. Some years ago Alexander Campbell kept the same saloon that is now kept by James Carroll, in Tumaquj. In that house, when Campbell kept it, I first joined a society known as the ANCIENT ORDER. OF HIBERNIANS. That is the order of the Molly Maguires, aud uuchiug else. I was introduced into it by a man at Tuscarora, and a man named John Donahue put me through iu Akxn der Campbell's cellar. The first taste of my new order was when one Barney O'llare Was burned out. The uien who did that were sent out by Alexander Campbell, who was paid for sending them by a m.m named SLtterliug. 1 know he did send them, fur I Was iu Campbell's place when they went, and the next uiornitig t!ie j lace w.is burned down. The pur poses of the Mclly Maguires, A. O. II., is to KILL TEOrLE And burn down dwellings. The notion is, that it is to protect workiugnicii, !ut really they are all of the most hardened villains iu tlie place where they retde. If any one wants any work doue they inform the head man, known as "CODVMASTEU" Or president, aud he calls a meeting : two or three men are usually apjMjinted to do such work. Most of the bodymasters are hotel-keejers. Jeremiah Kane was body master at Broad Top. When Jones was killed James Cor roll was body master at Ta maqua. Alexuder Campbell, while he lived at Tamaqua, was the body master Boyle, Dully and McGeehan, now awaiting trial in the jail at IVfsville, are the men who, on the ni,;ht of July 5, at James Carroll's saloon, iu Tamaquj, announced that night OFFICER YOST MUST EE KILLED. He was put out of the way because he had interfered with and beaten some drunken Molly Maguires. Carroll went out of the saloon to borrow a pistol to do the kiihng, but came back without any. He then gave me twenty-five cents, and asked me to go to a neighboring saloon aud borrow one. I went out and sj.ent the uione-, but returned without a pistol, lie was kided that night. A l three, Doyle, Duffy and McGeehan, subsequently con fessed to me that THEY HAD MURDERED YOST. These men arc all members of the Ancient Order of Hibernians, of Molly Maguires. I kn;w John F. Jones. I knew all about his death. I did not know Doyle and Kelly before September 1, 1S75. I was coming from my work at Alaska collieries, at Tamaqua, on September 1,1 S75, and stopped iu at James G t mill's. 1) yle aud Kelly were there. After I had taken a drink I went out on the porch, and James Carroll followed me. When we rot oat side he asked me if would take D.yleand Kelly over to Alexander Campbell's, at Storm Hill, as they wished to go there. I said that I was steadily at work and would have to be out by eleven o'clock. Carroll then prevailed ujn me to go. I got my snj per and came back to Carroll's saloon. Wc pushed ri:ht on to Storm Hill and went in at Alexander Campbell's, wh 're Carroll had told me to take the men. We th n went to Ilii.di McGcehan's saloon at Summit Hill. McGeehan produced THREE REVOLVERS. After oiling them he handed one to Doyle, one to Kelly aud one to me, and asked me to go aud SHOOT JOHN T. JONES. I refused the revolver. Kelly and I remained in that saloon all night, McGee han and Campbell bo'.h returning home. Before the latter left an arrangement was made whereby I should go down the next morning aud point out to Kelly and Doyle the boss, Jones, whom 1 knew, having once lived at Tamaqua. This was to be done so that no mistake might be made, s that they tliou'd know Jones beyond all doubt. The men McGeehan aud Campbell said that John F. Jones had BLACKLISTED, (That is, discharged and reported no they could not get work at any of the company's mines)soine of the men that worked iu that region. Campbell left me to infer that Jones was mainly to be murdered so as to get William Zehner to run away. He said that if John F. Jones was shot Bill Zehner would certainly run away. In the morn ing DoIe, Kelly and I left the saloon about eight o'clock in search of Jones. Campbell said they should shoot Jones at his house or in coming from the post office. Then Kelly and Doyle went up to Jooes bouse. COUNTY, PA., APRIL 13. While they were away Campbell made me get DOWN OX MY KNEES And protn-so that I would never speak about this murder, drunk or sober. Then Campbell told nie to go out and see where they were. I went up after them and met them this side of Mickey O'Donnel's tavern. Doyle was sitting on a stone. Kelly said that when he srent down he went "into a house and asked if Jones was at home, and that no one answed. Campbell told Kelly to shoot Jones early in the morning while coming to work, and not to let him o with one ball, hut put three or four in him. Mjehael Doyle had the blackjack and black pistol. Kelly had the other two pistols. Campbell told them they could go on, that they needn't be afraid, as no one would follow them, as Jones wasn't liked by the Welshmen or any one else. Campbell then gave me Gve dollars, telling me to purchase some whisky at Tnmnqun, and use the bal ance to buy them tickets on the railroad to ro home with. These five dollars I -rave my old woman, and she sent out fir a qu irt of whisky, but the bill came back un changed and the whisky with it. At Ta maqua Doyle informed me that THEY HAD SHOT JONES. But couldn't siy whether he was dead or not. Shortly after that we were arrested. An Important New L-iw. An act intended to enable assignees, for the benefit of creditors, to m ike sttles of real estate encumbered by liens, has passed the Legislature and received the G vernnr's approval. Its provisions are as follows: Section 1. That in all assignments for the benefit of creditors, it shall, and may le lawful for the several Courts of Common Fleas of this Commonwealth, upon applica tion of the assign es of insolvent debtor, setting forth that the personal estate is in sufficient for the payment of debts, and the real estate encumbered with liens to such an extent as to render it difficult to deter mine whether the same can be sold for en ough to pay for all the liens as aforcsiid to grant an order where the said court shall deem it for the manifest interest of all par ties, authorizing and empowering the said assignees to make public sale of such real estate or so much thereof as shall be deemed necessary at such place, and upon such terms as the sail court shall direct, of which sale notice shall be given twerty days prior thereto by handbills, and publication in at least two newspapers in the county where said lands are situated, should two newspa pers be published in the county, ono of which Jit'iy be German, if such be published in the county, which sale or sales af.er be ing confirmed by s..i 1 court shall discharge all liens agiiust th real es'atj so sold, ex cepting that wheie the lien of a mortgage upon real estate is or shall be prior to all other liens upon the same property except other mortgages, ground rents, and the pur chase money due the Commonwealth, the lien of such mortgages shall not be destroyed or iu any way affected by any sale made by virtue or authority of any sale made under the provisions of this act, and the proceeds arising therefrom shall be appropriated to liens extinguished by virtue of such sale according to their priority. j' oviifed, Before said sale is authorized the assignee or assignees shall file a bond with two approved sureties in double the estimated value of said real estate condi tioned fbr a faithful appropriation of the proceeds thereof. And prntidfd furllttry That the court shall require such proof of notice of such intended application to have been given to the lien creditors or their attorneys as said court shall deem sufficient to give said lien creditors an opjiortuuity to be heard touch ing said order of sale. Section 2. Whenever said court shall grant an order of . sale as aforesaid, said court may order a stay of execution on all liens that may be divested by such sale by the assignee until said order shall be ex pended or revoked. liovtJed, That it shall be lawfnl for said court to extend any order granted as afore said or to award an alius or pi u lies order of sale. Section 3. Whenever any such assignee shall make sale, either public or private of any real estate assigned under the deed of assignment and the assignor or any person should refuse to surrender jmssesston of the real estate so sold to the purchaser at said sale, it shall thereupon be lawful for said purchaser, after having fully complied with the terms of said sale, to tile a petition iu the Court of Common Fleas of the j roper county, setting forth the facts, and the said court shall thereupon direct notice of the filing of such petition to be served upon the erson in jiossessioii, and requiring him or her to show cause within ten days from the time of service of such a notice, why jMisses sioii should not be surrendered to such pur chaser. The court shall upon the filing of such petition aud answer, or if no answer be filed, then upon the cx iraliou of the ten days af.-res-iid. hear and determine whe ther or not the purchaser is entitled to pos session aud if so, make an order directing the SherifF to deliver to said purchaser pos session of the premises. Provide.! i That the liens of mechanics and material men shall not in any way be invalidated or impaired by any of the pro visions of this act, but the same shall in all cases be entitled to receive out of the pro ceeds of side whatever sum they may be le gally entitled to according to right and priority of lien. Centenuial kisses Ouo hundred with out Ukiog breath. 1876. Metallic Accumulation in the Enth. In a work of real value on the subject of the precious metals, written several years since in England by Mr. Jacobs, the sug gestion is thrown out that it is possible that gold, silver, copper, iron, etc., actually re-accumulate in certain localities, under the potent influence of a law not yet discovered. Such is the loss of coined metals in this and all the commerical countries of Europe, by mere friction of pieces in the pocket, and in packing, repacking, and by transporta tion, as to amount to a startling sum, iu the aggregate, in a single year. A grave question is this : what becomes of it ? The nicest chemical researches into the composition of the soil where the ma jor part thus lost by abrasion disappear, does not show the slightest trace of it. What becomes of the pins? That is an equally philosophical inquiry made more urgent when it is recollected that fourteen tons of rrass wire arc manufactured into pius in one town daily. It seems, thercf re, when the metals are reduced to impalpable atoms, as they are by use, they are transported by the atmos phere, where they arc re-collected atid re coiisoiidatcd. It is by no means an un scientific thought that such movement- of j atoms may take place. Miners iu gold re gions re-sitt the earth, after a year or two. which had every particle of gold washed out at first, because they soy it grows again. Here is a hint, at least, for commencing som new train of investigations. What an enormous quantity of iron de composes and disappears annually, every where, if not protected against the disinte grating influence of air and water, which is not to-bj foun 1 where it is placed, and the inquiry is pertinently asked where does it go to ? Beyond a doubt all the metals are sub jected to laws like all other elements. Their separation from their native localities, like burning coal, is but lilierating a prisoner. After various phases ah ive ground they wear out, and at last they diniiiiLh in vol ume and disappear; but they are not lost. In the course of ages they are rc-condueted to reglms th it have the property of con centrating floating atoms, and again they are dug ot t of the rocks Ibr the gratifica tion of never-satisfied man. Untold thousands of tons of gold and sil ver disappeared three thousand years ago. which may now be re-gathering in the Facific mines or in the sands of Africa. All the iron ships wi!l sail fbr unknown iCiial ports at last, and, at some vastly dis tant epoch in the future history of the globe we inhabit, again be quarried, smelted, and fashioned for the use of our descend ants when tho world is further advauced iu wisdom. lie didn't look as if his pockets held fifty cents, but a rich mm has a right to dress as he chooses. He loafed up Griswold street until he he saw the right sort of a fice, and then asked: '"Can you show me a bank ?" 'Yes, sir ; three doors below, or just across the street, or right back there." "Thanks. I'd like to put some mmey in some bunk, but I'm a little afraid of banks." The citizen pricked up his cars and e "You have some money to leuJ, have vou "A trifle," was the answer. '-Do -ou know of anybody who'd like to take souii and give mi a note at seven per cent? I think of g..ingto Mexico for a while." 'Let's see?" mused the citiz'ii, ! don't know but I'd take some myself.'' 'L unmc git a drink aud then we'll talk," said the stranger. "Yes, certainly ; come on," replied the ci'iz -n, and the two went into the basement. Drinks were ordered by the citizen, one af ter another, until his shiuplasters felt lone ly. He sail he could mike a good use of a few thousand dollars for a year, and some of his friends might also take a thousand more. The stranger put down gin, whisky, lager and brandy until his legs got out. The ii:izeu laid him on a bench aud tried to sober him, but the fellow went dead asleep while they were trying to force vine gar down Iih throat. The bur-keeper said he was an old loafer, aud a policeman was sent for to take him to the station-house. When they got him down there and search ed him they found f ntr cents, a brass b.icked comb, and a door key in his pocket, at d the citiz mi who wanted to borrow a few thousand dollars went to sec if the mail hud come iu. A Very Old Lady. There is living to-day near llagersfown, Maryland, an old lady by the name of Eliza beth Snively, horn loth of February, 1773, within three miles of where she now resides. She is n w iu her It) Itli years, having lived in the house where she now resides SG years, aud been a widow 72 years. Her mind is gtwid and for one of her years quite active, being able to attend to all her own business, such as overseeing her large farm, going into 11 igerstown city to m ike her tiwn deposits in bank, &e. She well recol lects having seen General Washington, and, iu speaking of the hardships of the rebel lion and the waroflS12, says they are nothing tube comjiared to those of the Revolution, as the men had all gone to war, aud on more than one occasion she heljed to dig graves and bury the dead during those trying times. She is truly a remark able woman, and should by all mains be induced to attend the Centennial. Her re sidence is a short distance- from tho State line, cm tho Cumberland Valley railroad. NO.'46. The Law of Murder in England. The law relating to murder being still considered unsatisfactory in E igland. Sir John E. Wihnot has submitted a bill to Farliiment which provides as- follows: 1. The crimi of murder shall h; dividsl into offenses of the first arid second degrees. 2 Any person convicted of murder in the first degree shall suffer deith. 3. Auv pers Kl convicted of murder in the second degrea shall be punished -with penal servitude for life, or f r ny period not less than seven years, or with imprisonment with hard la bor f.r any period not exceedirrg twoyeursj (This clause has in view certain' cases ofiri fatiticide.) 4. The degree of murder shall be f.-und by jury upon the facts submit ted; 5. Murder in the first degree is tine kill ing, widi deliberate ni.dicu aforethought, a human being iu the peace of the king or queen regnant. G. It is murder iu the first degree when death has been caused by the wilful act of any person committing or at tempting to commit a felony, or vfrhen as- saulting any government ofiieer in the exe cu:ion of his duty. 7. It is murder i;i the second degree where a verdict of murder is found by the jury, hut not in the first degree, y. Infanticide is murd.-r of tho second degree in all cases where the death of a child is caused by the willful, unlawful and m ilicious act of the mother, provided such act has been committed at the time of birth or within seven d.rys. i. In trials for infanticide the jury may return a ver dict of concealment of birth. 10. In any tihd for infanticide it must be proved that the child was living. Oh ! thoss Sandiy Nights. A wet Sunday night affects the two classes of lovers in opimsite way. To hiui who is engaged it is a godsend, as itcnabhs him to sung up to her in the parh.r and have the whole evening to himself; but to the other lover, the one who is not engaged, a rainy Sund iy night is a most painful episoJe. His footing at the h mse isn't enough to warrant his going therethrough the storm, and all he can do is to attend the church, and stand iu the vestibule, and pull up his shirt collar, in the despairing hope that she may appear. She don't, of course, and he ges buck to his dreary home wretched and miserable beyond de scription. Oh, those days of ecstatic idiocy! huw their memory overcomes us. Fast Day for Mithodists. The Board of Bishops of the Metholist Episcojul Church have issued a circular inviting the ministers and members of the denomination to unite with them i:i o'iserv ing Friday, April 28, as a day of fasting and special j raver to God fbr his blessing on the general conference, to assemble at Baltimore iu May. Ohio supports 110,000 dogs. Geor gia, with less than one-half the popula tion, has 350,010. Mure dogs than voters. And Bristow's mules, escaped from cover", have juuq.ed the fence, defied the drover, aud kicked old lliestcr C'ymer ove.. Grophic. Two hundred trains pass daily over the Fennsylvanii Riilraod between New York and Fhiladelphiu. A train leaves Jersey Ciry every seven minutes, night and day. Women do more hard work than men ; that is, it takes some women iur hours to do up their hair for an evening party, while a good smart man can do his up iu three hours and fifty seconds easy. Ohio is still ahead. She has three dead Democratic Fresidenti.il aspirants treading upon her s;il like ghosts almut a grave yard, and no other State can show as much. Groesbeck, Fcndleton, Thurmafi what a trio. Tvkdo Blah. At the marriage of an Alub imt wilowcr, one of the servants was. asked if his m ister was going to take a bridal tour. "Dunno sab, when de old missu's was a live, hctvC a paddle to her ; (tour) dun:io if he take a bridle to de new one or not."' An Englishra in. just landed, in looking over the paper, saw the headiag, "Tweed's SG,'l0O,UlHJ Suit," and exclaiming, "Do they pay such sums for suits in this blurs ttd country?"' mentally thanked Gol that he hud brought over a complete outfit. When the Democratic members of Con gress go into S100,'K);I worth of investiga tion and unearth seventeen dollars worth of Republican corruption, they call it "econo my I" Aud this rend ids us of the man woo invested 5,00:) in law to get lived- bars worth of satisfaction. XurrLtoic.i Herald A scholar in a school was asked : "How dJ you juirse 'Mary milks the cow ?! " TI13 last word was dijKsed of as follows : ''Cow, a noun, feminine gtiider, third pers n and stands fbr Mary " "Stands for Mary ! How do you m.ke that out?" "Because," added the intelligent pupil, "if she didn't stand for Mary, how could she milk her?' A friend recently from Chicago, says he met the cx-m iyor, the noted Long John Wentworth, who is nearly seven feet high, anil tells the following anecdote of him : The ex-mayor is entirely bald, except a lit tle tuft of hair at the base id' the brain be hind the ears, and on one ocvasioii while riding in the cars he frequently took off his hut and scratched buck of his cars, when a waggish backwoodsmen shouted out, "Stran ger, drive em up into the clearing, and you can catch 'em all iu five minutes!" If Wentworth did not see anything to hugji at, the other passengers did. nr