i-
Ocuotcir to politico, Citcrahtrc, Agriculture, Science, iilornlitij, muj .(Seatcol - Sntdltgcucc.
- 1
s. ; '
VOL. 33-
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., JANUARY 27. 1876.
NO. 34.
mTJTn
1 I 1 'i
polished by Theodore Schoch.
T,t) J.illir a rear in a'lv.mv and1 if rot
Tu;''-,r? tli.' iMi lof tit year, tw.. dollars andlifty
ri: till i; clurJ1'!.
r,B si i-a-wr .li-ntnr'-t until a'l arrearage are
'" '.'t th- notion of th Kditnr.
piil. 'Y;k!,rti .,nn'f of 'inan f 'ei sht tin! or
i.. L ' !.. .:
' ;i.Mit iil-."-T nnii in pro n'luiiu.
JOK IMJIXTIXG
OF AM. KINl'S,
. .,tl in thu lii--h.'t sty!. of the Art, anl on the
ei,Mted m "1nl,1reas,)IK,t,i.. terms.
D
Surgeon ucinisi.
in Tav n!i tier's now bniMinjr. nearly opposite
V7a' .i . i;rlr is. aiiiunistercd tor crtactiiiif
whVn dVird.
i - "
Jati.C.'TtVtf.
D
U. R. BRUCE JOHNSTONE,
Homoeopathic Physician,
KefUence: Benjamin Dungan, Cherry Valley,
SI OS HO E COUNTY PA.
!i 13, 1S7-5. ly.
puTix wis i&iiiKiiurr,
Physician, Surgeon and Accoucheur,
Sand Cut, Wayne Co., Pa.
j.j promptly attended, to tl.iy or night.
(jiar?-s moderate. -la.v J-'. '7o-tf.
D
U. IlOVt AIIO IVVTTERSOX,
Pajiioan. Sar-jeon and Accoucheur,
O.Ti .-? 1 R?-ilciice, M.tiu street, Stroud
l'ir. I'r, in the Imiliiin formerly occupied
br Dr. Prompt attention given tocalls.
j- 7 to 9 a. ni.
Oice hours - 1 3 p. m.
( 6 "bp. in.
April l-i lS74-ly.
D
PnVSIlMN. SLT.GE3X AND AlTOlTHCl'R.
In the ol 1 oMii"? of Dr. A. TJveves Jark.on,
re'ideuce, crnr of Sarah anJ Kranklin street.
STROUDSBURG, PA.
D
VVID S. LEC,
Attorney at L.av,
0'ie n vr a'v.ve the ''Strouilsbarg House
Sra Li-tmr.'. Pa.
G.'nrct!."i promptly mrule.
0,:obrr . 174.
31
till i- 415
Xirt Thirl Strrt, PHILADELPHIA.
Z-zt l ntcs, 75 per day. "55
HENRY SPA UN, Prop'r.
L. R. SNYr.ER. Cl-.-rk.
N'jv. i74. Ci.
WILLIAM S. REES,
Surveyor, Conveyancer and
Esal Estate Agent.
Farzs. Timber Lands and Town Lots
FOR SALE.
f:7!' r-i'-nr!y opposite Atnerican Houes
f 1 i! 1 .1 - r l.low the Corner Store,
i'-il i.?7.;-tf.
DR. J.LANTZ,
Srfirnv Mcon TTr a t nr'XTTTCTi
. Oik
: orT..- r.n M.iiti street, in thp scon t.ry
; v 'A : ' k u :i linr. u.-arly Mite th
l- u r - il .ii.c. a!nl he flat. rs iiinwif tliat bv pizi)-l-tnvr.f,vjr,!
ami the tmr-t taru.-st and
' nt i.in io ail :n:itt-rs iwrtaininsr to tiis pro---ti.
'i::.! h-i-f.,!lr a'.lv to p. rf'..rm n!! .rx-rat ions
.3 ti: c.n;: hur ;u tlie most car-!'ul uu'i a'illfol usu-
;".a! v:T,ti:.n -irfn to arin7 the Natural Teeth ;
'u -;;ti- invrti'.ri of Artificial 'J.f.i n Iil..ii?r.
s:.v-r. r (.'oruiuuous Gums, aud n.rfcct fits iu ull
j.i :i..urt.J.
lyrvT.i ltr..w th rrett f l!y and dans-r of cn
"o i".jj th .;r wurt tu tlie inexperienced, or t those liv-
A Ijril 13' 1S74 tf-
DOt you Know tliat J. II.
McCirty jc S'tns nre the only Under
r ;, troU lbur: who understands their
'i,;ll,v If not. attend a Funeral managed
tT a-iy other LVL-rtaker in town, and you
::iv eth.. proof of the fact.
Juae Is, 74-tf
j A.OTIlCR TUOI'UY
i
ur the
ESTSY COTTAGE ORGANS!
nee wirriorand lautifulif fl
iM-nt. s f;ir ecliiwed their 'con
Inished in-
,r'i'i:.t. ...,: . .... 1
oonipetitor in
i Mttness and tieiicacv ol tone,
to 'nrrv f,!i U.e first ariJ OI1v- pnw.nn
( ?xl,ihitors of ree.1 i)rpm at the Monroe
Or'''1 r'1' or Pr'e 'st address
"' l J. Y. SICJAI-XS,
PAPER IIAiSR,
GLAZIER AND PAINTER,
MOXKOE STREET,
ear!J oppos.te Kautz's Blacksmith ishop,
Strocdsbiro, Pa.
Wu, Un,Ierfi?ned Wf" respectfully in
tht 1 'e cit!zfns o! Stroudsb.irg nd vicinity
ofpa, 18 ",,w ,ljI1y prepared io do all kiu.ie
promiT 'zing anJ Painting,
ill L ya"dat -'lori not.ee, and that he
ill i 1 ",lor notice, and that
Wr col,4,lanly on lund a fine tock
ot
p ic.'s. The patronage of the oublir.
7 Krfiered. fMav 16. 187'2. I
MfiSOi TOCICT
A Famous Hunter's Death.
Mautixsvillk, Pa., Dec. 21.
James liloom, his brother Jose atid Jack
son Frailey, cf this village, went out r -cently
to hunt a hear which had been te?n
on Welsh Mountain. They did not return
at nurht, as it was expecte i they would,
hut it was .-supposed by their friends that
the bear was giving them a Ionj chase, and
tlie three men being experienced hunters
and woodsmen, no uneasiness was felt as to
the result of the hunt. All the next day
passed, however, without anything being
seen or heard of the hunters, and a blind"
ing snow storm having prevailed all day,
accompanied by a heavy wind, a sense of
uneasiness began to be felt in the village.
That night turned off bitter cold, and the
uoxt morning broke with the thermometer
four degrees below zero, and the wind in
creased to a gale. The hunters had not
yet returned, and their friends and families,
now thoroughly alarmed for their safety,
began active preparations to search for
them. Twenty strong and hardy men.
working in the lumber woods, and river
men, volunteered to scour the mountains
and swamps in the direction the hunters
had taken.
The party of men who in turn went to
j seek the hunters, whom the circumstances
plainly indicated had met with some catas
trophe, started into the wood at the extreme
northern end of the mountain, and separat
ed in pairs so as to take in the whole area
of the ridge. The snow that had fallen on
Thurslay covered the ground on the level
about six inches, but iu every open space
where the wind was not fended off there
were drifts from two to four feet deep. The
men marched in this wav for about a mile.
i occasionally lit in j: a sruti off, but receiving
i " ' -
n.) response. At the end of the above
distance their progress was interrupted by
Little Tamarack Swamp, around which
they were forced to walk, going in opposite
directions and meeting on the other side.
No sign of the missing hunters was found
about the swamp, and the partv nirain
separated in pairs. Two of these, William
Shearer and George Walker, went off
obIi'"juely down the lace of a rather steep
encampment of the mountain. They reached
the bottom of the hill near a small alder
swamp, and were about to ascend again
when their attention was called to a little
nmund of snow a few rods ahead on the
edge of the swamp. Going toward it thev
saw before reaching it that it was the body
of a man snowed under. Hurrying on to
the spot they lifted up the body ait J were
horrified to find it to be that of Jackson
Frailey. From his throat down his cloth
ing was torn almost completely off him, and
his fiVsd terribly lacerated. The ground
upon which he lay was covered with blood
and he was deal. It was evident to the
mcu'that the wounds he had received were
not the direct cause of his death, but that
he had 1 e 'n overcome bv loss of blood and
the cold, from which he died. There be
ing no sign of a struggle where the hunter
was found it was concluded that he had
been hurt in some other part of the woods,
either in a hand-to-hand contest with a
bear or a wild eat, which he had wounded
while it was at bay, but failed to kill. Dy
the firing off guns others of the searhing
party were summoned, and three of them
were sent back to the village with the body
of the unfortunate hunter, and the search
was contiuued. From the fact that no track
leading in any direction could be found, it
was plain that Frailey must have received
his wounds before the snow fell, and was
probably trying to reach some place of
shelter.
For nmre than a mile further on nothing
was found giving the siighest indication of
the spot where Frailey had his fatal contest
or throwing the least light on the fate of
his companions. Finally however, the re
mains of a fire, but built before the snow,
was found. A little further on, but to the
left a quarter of a mile, another of the
party found a rifle standing up against a
tree. Both barrels were empty. It was
identified by a brother-in-law of one of the
lost hunters as Frailey's. A search was
made in a circle among the laurel's and
underbrush for some distance, and from a
hollow, drifted two feet with snow, was ex
humed the body of
AN IMMENSE CATAMOUNT.
It was shot behind the left shoulder and
had cuts about its head and had a stab on
it made with a hunting knife near its heart.
It was now clear that the men were at the
scene of Fraily's encounter with the animal
which had proved to be a catamount. ly
scraping away the snow near where the rifle
was found the hunter's knife and other
accountremeuts were disco ved. The knife
was covered with blood, as was the ground
several feet around. The only explanation
that the men could give for the rifle stand
ing up against the tree was that Frailey
had probably discovered the animal in a tree
as he was passing along, ready to spring,
and had shot him. The catamount had
fallen to the ground and stunned by the fall,
lay as if dead. The hunter, being one of
the suret shots in the region, not for a
moment doubting that he had shot the fierce
brute in a vital spt, placed his rifle against
the tree, and had stepped up to take a closer
view of his game. While viewing it, and
probably stooping to turn it over, the cata
mount had revived, and, with the ferocity
of its kind, sprang upon the hunter. In
the contest that ensued the hunter received
his terrible injuries, but succeeded in inflict
ing fatal wounds on the catamount, but it
had crawled away some distance before it
died.
Frailey was a famous hunter and was
known tbroughoat the State as the "Doer
Slayer" and the -'Ximrod of the Conewago'
A few days before his death he stated that
hi had killed in his life over 2,000 deer,
2 0 bears, 20 catamounts, J panthers and
nmberless wolves and foxes. In his tenth
e r he killed one bear and six deer. II is
experience in the woods embraced many
hmd-to-hand contests with bears and
wounded bucks, from all of which he came
out victorious, and his body was covered
with scars, the result of these battles. He
was only -40 years of age, but had followed
the calling of hunter and trapper for 30
years.
The Life and Death of Worlds.
Prof. Proctor delivered the second of
his series of lectures at Stein way Hall,
N. Y., a few evenings ago. His theme
was the "Life and Death of Worlds." He
commenced by recapitulating the points
made in the first lecture concerning the
birth and growth of worlds, and had stop
ped at the epoch of life upon this earth.
From this position lie advanced to the
general facts concerning all the worlds of
the solar system,-claiming that though it
was not possible to regard them all as alike,
yet that they resembled each other in cer
tain conditions of structure, just as all
animals did in certain things affecting life.
There were differences of a very material
kind between the planets. It could not
be doubted that the larger ones must have
been hotter at their formation than the
smaller. It was reasonable to assume that
the larger planets Jupiter and Saturn, had
not yet done growing had not completed
their formation independent of the accre
tions which they derived from meteors and
other external sources of growth. But
besides that probability, there was the
certainty th.it they must be very much
hotter than the earth, because they not
only had more heat to start with, but part
ed with it more slowly. The heat was
given off from the surface, but the internal
heat was out of proportion to that which
was lost. This had been demonstrated by
making two globes ot steel, one four times
the size of the other, then heating them
red hot and placing them where they might
cool gradually under perfectly enual condi-
tions. The experiment proved that the
heat contained was iu proportion to the
cube of the mass, while the heat given out
from the surface was ia proportion to the
square. Therefore, J upitcr and Saturn not
only had more heat, but cooled more slowly.
The diameter of Jupiter exceeded the earth
twelve times, and when it had contracted
to an equal density, having now only a
density about equal to that of water, its
diameter would exceed the earth seven
times. Therefore, as the life of a world
was confined to the time when animal life
could be supported upon it, and that de
pended upon its internal heat, the life of
Jupiter would exceed that of the earth
seven times. The earth would be com
pletely denuded of living organisms before
Jupiter took on the stage of life. That
grand planet had not yet come to the cool
ing process, but when it did, the period
would be ten times longer than that of the
earth, which was 320 millions of years.
Though it might be assumed that all the
planets underwent the same series of epochs,
the nebulous stage, the sun stage, the cool
ing stage, the life stage, and the last one of
death, they were not synchronous by any
means. At this present moment Jupiter
has rut yet entered on the cooling stage,
the earth is in the period of life, Mars of
decrepitude or the last stage of life, and
the moon is dead. With regard to the
forms of life that have been or will be upon
these worlds, that is a matter of conjecture
purely, the probabilities being that there
would be essential variety. But as regards
the structure of the plants, it was reason
able to assume from analogy that all were
alike in their elements. The spectroscope
had shown that the elements of the sun
were present in the earth. Now, if one
planet contained the same elements as the
central body, the sun, it was a fair presump
tion that all the otheres did also. Here
the room was darkened, and the solar
spectrum was exhibited, and after that a
prism from the vapor of incandescent iron,
the demonstration being that the vapor of
iron was in the solar body. Another slide
presented the planets, giving an idea of
their relative sizes, and this was followed
by one giving the satellites of Jupiter, and
still another giving the satellites of Saturn.
The Professor said that the life of a planet
depending upon its size, that of Mercury
must be the shortest, as it was the oldest.
It was a mooted point which was the
younger, Jupiter or Saturn, but they were
uudeniably tlie youugest of the solar system.
The eight satellites of Jupiter presented a
singular resemblance to the arrangement
of the planets round the sun, and this
was heightened by the lings which were a
sort of zodiacal light. From this point the
lecturer progressed to a consideration of
the planet Mars which he si-oke of in the
period of extreme old age. This he con
sidered proved by the scanty bottle-necked
seas which were shown by various slides.
These were compared with the abounding
ocean of the earth, and Prof. Proctor an
nounced that as the earth parted with its
heat its mighty oceans would assume the
same appearance. This would be done by
the water soaking into the interstices of the
interior when the heat had sufficiently de
parted to allow of this. From the considera
tion of this gloomy prospect the lecturer
proceeded to show slides of the moon and
to expatiate upon its desolation. The
lecturer concluded with the declaration that
living organizations having ceased on the
proaller planets would appear on tbe giants,
and having there an immense field and
great duration of time, would be able to
progress incalculably ; last of all, when life
perished in them, the sun itself would be
come the theatre of life, and after its decay
and death, a still more central, sun would be
the next fitted for the purposes and develop
ment of life, and so on endlessly. And he
said that perhaps what seemed to us death
was not death but another and higher life,
just as night is not darkness absolute, but
only a calmer, purer state of nature.
"The New Boy."
He made his appearance at one of the
Union schools in Detroit the other morn
ing, and, arriving ahead of time, he pre
vented any feeling of loneliness from seiz
ing him by licking three boys and riding
the gate off its hinges. He went in with
the crowd when the bell rang, and, finding
no empty seat, he perched himself on the
wood-box. When the children repeated
the '-Lord's Prayer" in concert the new
boy "kept time" with his heel, and wheu
they came to sing he argued that variety
was the spice of song, and attempted to sing
one of his own one about a gentleman
named Daniel Tucker, who dreamed that
he was dead, and so forth. The teacher
warned him to keep still, and he replied he
wouldn't come to that school if his musical
qualifications were to be overlooked. When
school finally opened the teacher secured
his name and began asking him questions
in order to find out how he should be
graded.
'Can you spell ?" she asked.
"What kind of spelling ?" he cautiously
replied.
'Spell -house,' if you please."
"Frame or brick house ?" he asked.
"An kind of a house."
"With a mortgage on it ?"
"You may spell 'man' if you will," she
said, giving him a severe look.
"Man ?"
"Yes."
"I don't care much about spelling 'man'
this morning, but I will this afternoon.
I've spelled it with mv eyes shut."
"Do you know your alphabet ?" she
asked, changing the subject.
"Never had any !" was the prompt re
ply. "Do you know anything about reading?"
"I read like lightning ?" he answered.
She handed him a reader and said :
"Let me hear 3-ou read."
"Bead right out loud V
"Yes."
"I'm afraid it would disturb the child
ren," he whispered.
"Go on and let me hear you read."
He looked carefully at the page, scowled
his brow, and read :
"If I was a lame boy and didn't get any
peanuts in my stocking Christmas, dum my
eyes ! but I'd make things jump around
that house next morning !"
He handed the book back, and the teach
er then asked :
"Bichard, how many are three and
three ?"
"Three and three what ?" he inquired.
"Anything."
"It's a good deal according to what it
is," he replied, as he settled back. "I
know that three and three cats don't make a
dog ?"
"Did you ever study geography, Bich
ard ?"
"Yes, mam."
"What is geography ?"
"It's a book."
"Is this world round or flat ?"
"Hills and hollers?" he replied.
"Bichard, can you write ?"
"Write what !"'
"Can you write your name ?"
"I could, I suppose ; but I've got my
name without writing it."
"Can you write a letter ?"
"Who to ?"
"To any one."
"Yes, 1 could, if I had any money to pay
the postage."
"Well, Bichard," she said, in despair,
"you'll have to go into the lower room if
you want to come to school here."
"I druther stay here."
"But you can't."
"I'll bet you this knife agin ten cents I
can."
She took him by the arm to remove him,
but he laid his hand on her shoulder and
said iu a warning voice :
"Don't get me mad, now, or I'll let my
self loose."
She called the principal down, and as he
approach the boy he commanded :
"Boy, what are you doing here ?"
"Gitting educashun !" replied Bichard.
"You go right down stairs now 1" con
tinued the principal.
"Well, down't sass me, for I was never
here before !" replied Bichard, slowly mov
ing his legs as if he meant to get down.
The principal took him by the collar and
jerked him around, got kicked on the shin
and bitten in the wrist, and finally landed
the young student on the walk.
"Xow you go home ?" he shouted as he
tried to recover his breath.
"Am I educated ?" inquired Bichard.
"You seem to be."
"Gimme a diplomy, then."
"You clear out or I'll have you arrested."
"Hain't I a scholar in this school no
more ?"
"No, sir."
"Who owns this school house?" de
manded the boy,
"No matter yem clear out."
"Will yon come out iu the yard bra
where you can't hang to anything?" asked
the boy.
"Begone, I say?v
"Don't draw no Derringer on me !"
warned the boy as he backed off, "nor
djn't think 3-ou can scare me with any of
your bowie knives r
The principal walked in and shut the
door, and after the new boy had stood there
long enough to show that he wasn't afraid
he turned and walked off, growling to him
self: m
"I'll git the foreman of No. f! to pound
that fellow afore he's a week older !"
AN AFRICAN CITY.
Peculiarities and Characteristlss of Zan
zibar. Like nearly all Oriental towus, Zanzibar
looks immensely better from the sea than
it does upon close inspection. Com
ing from the south, the vessel has to wind
slowly through among numerous little coral
islands, green with stunted trees and bush,
where, even with a man in the chains, the
navigations is difficult, not to say perilous.
Once inside, however, and you cast anchor
in as beautiful a road-stead as ever ship was
moored in. Very imposing too is the front
of Zanzibar, which faces you. The waters
of the bay are pellucid and clear, and rip
ple on sands as white as snow. Along the
.beach are the warehouses and dwellings of
the wealthy English-speaking merchants,
the palatial homes of the wealthier citizens,
the houses of all the different foreign con
suits each with its own flag flutterin" gaily
in the breeze, and in the centre topped by
the blood red ensign of Arabia, is the proud
palace of the Seyyid Burgash.
When you land, the first thing that will
strike you, if a stranger, is the extraordi
nary number of negro boys, with little more
dress than a m.:rniaid, that will request, in
tolerable English, the honor of being your
guide for the day. The next thing 'that
will strike you is that it is much warmer on
shore than on board, and you will naturally
put up your umbrella as 3-ou saunter after
your 3-outhful guide. Some of the streets,
3-ou will be surprised to find, have neither
doors nor windows, for the best dwelling
houses are built around an open court, the
windows, are rather air holes, opening on
to that. The3' are built on the heat-resisting
principle, the walls being many feet
thick and of solid masonry. Every floor,
even, is of great thickness and composed of
wood and stones and lime and the roof is
flat, and forms a delightful retreat in the
cool of the da", when the sun is getting
low in the horizon, and the gloaming breeze
begins to blow.
The shops are mere open sheds, where,
amid his wares, squats the Hindoo or
Banian merchant, calmly chewing opium
or smoking his hubble-bubble. If you need
refreshment -ou can have it at the fruit
stalls ; pineapples, mangoes, citrons, oranges,
pomules, guaves, green cocanuts ; anything
in fact, except apples and gooseberries. The
streets are narrow, winding and quaint ;
and some of them, the bazarr for instance,
very picturesque. The' are crowded to
excess with Arabs, Banians, Hindoos, Per
sians, Somali Indians and slaves of ever
sort and shade ; but the atmosphere is not
such as that which hovers around Bimmel's
shop in the Straud, especially near the fish
market, which is devoted principally to
sharks and blue-bottle flies. There is many
and many a strange sight to be seen ; every
thing, iu fact, tells you that you are in the
midst of a savage though peaceful people.
It is a treat to watch the gold smith at
work, or the sandal-markers, or toy manu
facturers ; and it is a great treat to see a
Parsee school. The school-room is a raised
open shed ; the scholars, to the number of
forty, fifty, or more, all squat on the floor,
each holding a camel's shoulder-blade by
way of slate ; then they are such sweetby
pretty children, dressed in little jackets and
trowsersof red, -ellow and green silk, with
long, dark hair and loving C3'es, that, you
cannot help but to stop and admire them.
Bog Raisin
A hog raiser and pork packer in Iowa
gives the following statement as his
experience in the business : "He has
demonstrated to his entire satisfaction, that
after his spring pigs had reached about
three hundred pounds they ceased to grow
with an3' profit. His pigs on the first of
January weighed nearly as much as they
did on the first of February, notwithstand
ing he had kept up the feeding. He is a
great advocate of taking good care of hogs.
He would never shut up his hogs more
than five weeks before he wants to market
them. His food early in the fall was
pumpkins, steamed and mixed with mid
dlings, the proportion being about one half
a bushel of middlings to forty gallons of
steamed pumpkins. His object was to
develop the bone and musels of the hog
without adding fat. This he continued
three months and then put them in a close
pen and fed them meal and middlings
steamed. After shutting them up for five
weeks they gained two pounds a day until
they reached three hundred pounds aud
then ceased to grow to any extent."
He was a man of dissolute practices and
irregular habits, and he lived here. He
groaned in his sleep, and his wife arose to
light the lamp. He beheld a vast display
of striped stockings, and then murmured to
himself : "Iv'e got 'em sure this time."
"Got what ?" she inquired.
"The delirium tremens. I'm seeing an
imals of all kinds. I've just seen a zebra.u
She turned down the light, aud th uie-
rtofrrla ilia as?
UWJUWfJil.
. i i - A Golden Girl.
There is a "servant'"' inrV living with a
family in Detroit, says the Free Pi ts., who
wouldn't be. permitted to., change places if
S10 per week. would bes any inducement for
her to stay.- She makes it her speckd duty
to meet all agents at d beggars at the door",
and to dispose of them without the least
annoyance to the family.- She has a rul.
to meet each ease, and .her rules are per
fection. 1, The : door r beil never fools her.
She can tell a-caller's ring from a beggar's
ring as certainly , as the bell is touched.
When she .opens the door and finds a man
with a red goatee, having a clothes-wringer
in his hand, she clien't wait for him to hem
and haw and .say that .his clothes-wringer
beats sdl the other wringers ever made.
She gets the sTarf by 'saying :
"You seem -like - a decent, respectable
man, and as a friend I-Warrr ou that the
owner of the' house saw -vou coma up the
stcS and he rati into the back yard to un
chain his Russiau biood-hutiud.
The man with. the red goatee slings that
wringer over, his right shoulder and can
ters out of that. neighborhood with his teeth
on edgj and cold chills playing tag up aud
down his: back.
The n'ex one may be a young lady, who
boldly inquires for the ' lady of the'house,
and has' a new kind of face-powder to sell.
"Vou can go in;" whispers the girl, "and
I will stand' at the door 'so as to rush in
when you call. If the mistress asks 3-ou
to taste anything, boware : of poison. She
may not have her revolver with her this
morning, and I guess it will be safe for you
to go in.
"Why why?'' stammers the young
lady.
"Go right in ; she may not be danerous."
"Never mind. I'll call again. I'm in a
hurr" :
And that settles that ease.
The next is one of those chaps who go
about with tears in their e3'cs, willing to
work if work can be had ; but never find
ing any work their health will permit them
to do. ,. . . '
"Madam," he says, as she opens the
door, "for. Heaven's rsake let me work at
something long enough to earn a slince of
bread?" ' '
She motions for him to go around to the
side door and is there to let him in. She
hands him an ax weighing seven pounds,
with a straight handle, points to three or
four big knots which have become almost
petrified, and very softly says :
"You look hungry, and as soon as you
split those up I'll give 3-ou the best meal
you've had in a month."
She goes in and. he spits on his hands,
looks at that old ax and then folds his lit
tle tent and slips through the gate like ti
shadow of fate.
Then the little girl who canvasses for
the orphan asylum vings the bell. She is
met with a smile and the hired girl says :
"You poor little thing 1 I pity the or
phans and I'd like to give you some money.
If you will get the ma-or to come here and
say it is all right I will give you three
cents."
The little girl thoughtlly. pursues her
way and., another case com-js, is met and
disposed of, and the mistress of that house
is never disturbed or annoyed.
A Woman's Trick.
Dr. II. J. was one of the able, talented
and eccentric surgeons of the last century.
liis practice emlnaceJ a large circuit, and
his fame extended to everv Part of the State.
The doctor was one morning sitting in his
otnee, poring over some medical work, when
a loud rap at the door aroused him.
"Come in," said the doctor, and an old
lady hobbled into the apartment, who
seemed the very embodiment of dirt and
negligence.
"Doctor," said she. "I've got a dreadful
sore foot -can yon help it !"
"1 will try let me see it.
The old crone proceeded to divest her
"understanding" of the apology of a shoe
with which it was covered, and displayed
to the astonished doctor a foot and such
a foot !
"My goodness !" exclaimed the doctor,
throwing up both hands in amazement;
"what a dity foot !"
La! doctor, 3'e needn't be in such a
wonderment about it ; there's dirtier feet
than that in the world, I'll warrant a3'e,
and dirtier feet . than that iu your own
house, as proud as the j'oung ladies, 3-our
daughters, are for all that ;" and t'-.e old
hag cackled forth her pleasure at the doctor's
astonishment.,
"Womau I if you can find a dirtier foot
than that iu my house, I will give you a
guinea, and cure your foot for nothing."
"Pon honor I" uv the beldame.
"Pon honor," cried the doctor.
The woman stripped off the other stock
ing displayed .1 foot that beggared all des
cription, grinning in the face of the astonish
ed doctor, exclaing : "Gae me the guinea !
I knowed it ; I washed t'other 'fore I came
here." -.-' -
Little Willie, having hunted in all the
corners for his shoes, at last appears to give
them up, and climbing on a chair, betakes
himself to a big book on a side table.
Mother says to him : "What is darling
doing with the book?" "It ith the dictionary-
pap lookth in the dictionary for
thing?, and I am looking in it to see if I
can Cud my shoes."
1: ? ; . -, .
i Young men are aot to think themselves
j wise enough, as drunken men ar to think
theraselvta feaber.enougt.
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