Ml iUIii1Ii
n Wis
f U
L JLJLJJ
1j
Scuotci ta politics, Citcratuvc, Agriculture, Science, iiloralitij, aui cncral 3ntd!igcucc.
32.
STROUDSBUEG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., SEPTEMBER 17, 1874.
NO. 17.
. l'.i ir Theodore Schoch.
iJ , ,,,.rs , vc:ir in advance and if not
e'v in''! i ',f ;'e:,r' two d,J,lars aijd fiftJ'
..) r
Ov
. 1 t I -ill rrnr4(TAa i T"i
.n'lli'l'i ' ,.-... ...i.i:.: l
r!i
-!!!!
.: ... 1 Sit
jiucvr 1'-'S in proportion
Eacli additional in-
jOSj'pBIXTJXC
OF AI L KIS1W,
, ,,; rur-t st vie f tlio Art, and on the
I '"'e " ? ..."..l.li term.
r-w- -
fi, in'
1- ' J
T) B. J- l. iN 1
t, iTTn ft T TT?TTITC,Tn
Main street, in the second story
l,r:,-k hiiildinp, ncarlv ojipoMte the
..i h,. .Inters himself that hy cip;h-
:-',r: V practice aud the most earnest and
("j'iil matters pertairunc to his pro-
' y ('.it J v ii Mi! to periorm an ,-ji-mi wiu
' I I iu the most careful aud skillful mail-
,:,nirivMi to savin? the Natural Teeth;
fX Artitieial Teeth on Uuhber
" ' ,r Caiitiuiu.us Gums, and perfcet fits in all
' r,.un. . , fojr anj daneer of en-
T'-.rk the inexperienced, or to thoso liy-
0
ii.j.patti:usox,
tflTM AND MECHANICAL DENTIST,
...ill .l
: A. !.'!
i-V-t tr-niJOi:rs. Pa. announces that
Tier. ANo. creataUentie.ii
as.
lie
to
ut-
li.-;;iil
new huildinc, oppite Anah
7Voi the Advance."
THE ONEIDA COMMUNITY.
11 V J. II. DUUFJEE.
: " r'i i i pr..Tviiijilie natural teeth. Ti-etl
:! -.'.i,, lv the u f Ntmu! t)sidc tia
iVi.l nt 'to th- pr-.f.-s-i-n done in th
.,,i'n.nir.ivr.i tv!e. All work attendivj t
" ' ITs'i'-'nti. r'larges rea nablo. Fat
in
"WILLIAM S. REES,
jrveyor, Conveyancer and
Real Estate Agent.
is, Timb-sr Lands and Town Lots
to
tli at h:l
ho . i.i".T I'-' i':
.i:
; jit returnel f.-om Pental
i d to mr.ke artifleiAl tf;eth in
:i1 lif.'-like manner, ana to nil fle-
i -1 the most itnprovfd niethol.
:h.e;t paiii. v hen tes;r.xi, Dy tne
V. l'.li-ll IS CIIUP'IT IIUI :ill-s.
3 neatly done. All work waranted.
T.i i", K.'li'r'? new br-ct buildine. Main street,
.1.
Aug. ;u '71-tf.
rou tell vhy it is that when any
ourj to oily i uniuuir,
r.riv's rurniturc store:
FOR SALE.
it v. '.lj:r above S. Kees' news
:.! i .1 r It-'-jw the Corner .Store.
::h i; -i. 1 -To-if.
Depot
Iu our last letter to the Advance we
promised in our next to give something of
au account of the Oneida Community. As
we sit down to write we can only think of
the woman (I won't say lady) who was
coaxed into a class mcetiug against her
wishes, and being somewhat out of - humor
when the class leader came and asked the
usual question, as to how she felt, she said,
"Feel and see if you want to know." If
people would know all about them they
must go and see.
On arriving at the Oneida station, on
the X. Y. Central Hit., at the crossing of
the Midland KR., we had to wait thirty
minutes for the train to take us to the Com
munity, four miles south. While waiting
we made sure of our dinner. On airiving
there, about 12 o'clock, noon, we found
them located on the fertile lands of the
Oneida Valley, which had once set apart
by the State of New York as an Indian
Reservation, and there is a remnant of the
Oneida tribe still living on the outskirts.
Near the center of these reservations stands
the community buildings, surrounded by a
domain of (i4w acres of orchards, vinevards,
meadows, pasturage, woodland, &c. The
railroad passes a mile through their lands.
From the Midland station it is but a
few rods to their buildings, where guides
are furnished if desired for making the
tour of the place. The central building is
of brick, with stone trimmings, and con
sists of a center and two wings, with a tow
er at each end. It is 188 feet long by 70
broad, and has an extension of 10O feet in
the rear, with Mansard roof; has three
stories above the basement. The towers
are four stories in height. The entire
building is heated by steam, and hot and
cold water is conveyed to all parts of it,
with bath rooms to each story. In this
building we were directed to the office, and
feelimr ouite at home as if in a hotel, we
B.KOUARD PATTERSOX,
Pijsiciin, Surgeon and Accoucheur,
i;an--Hir to Geo. W. freip.)
ri!eM'i!i ?:rft. Strr.uflnirg, Pa., in Dr.
arah street, next
Prompt Rttenlic.n
ns b-j . ! Ji:i:r. re!i;'!H't;
;a.I ;icw ratt-tirr: house.
Apr'! 10 1ST My.
to 0 a.
2 i.
m.
m.
in.
'IKim, SITaitOX AND AlTGl'CHiXR.
1 Ac oM on f .f Dr. A. fteeves Jack.-on,
''"?. rr.er of Sarah and Franklin street.
STROUDSBURG, PA.
oii. RKiyi:ii, it.
PHYSICIAN AND ACCOUCHEUR,
MOUNTAIN HOME. PA.
f'-rca 2C,':4-fini
tXLKinv ruiTF.i..
T.: 'ib-cnlir would inform the public that
f kael the house formally kept by Jacob
'. ln tne i;oronp;h of rtrouuaburg, l a.,
5li.:vinjrciaiited and refurnished the same,
'' Poured to entertain all who may patronize
is the aim (if the proprietor, to furn
''''.'ri'jr accDitmimlations at moderate rates
ffi '! s'':tre l! pains to promote the com
f the -;esu. A liberal tshare of public
5 V72-tf. D. L. PISLE.
Tr i f i V, : "
KONESDALE, PA.
-t central location ot any Hotel in town.
Mf. R. W. KIPLK k SON,
-Ham street. Proprietors.
Attonicyai haw,
'5 'C ill ., 1 M T O I
F L V ' ounasng iormerijr occupiea
; -,i , uti'J opposite tne oiniuus-
an ii ; Jluiu strteti Stroudsburg, Pa.
Dev
!'ri,T, ';"J1r 1.) ltecipc lor kaj
1)
INWARD A. WILSON'S (of
br C
ST1IMA carefully
LLIKSHEAD'S DRUG STORE.
Mxlivine fresh and pure.
h hi.
'uU ,,t
1IOLLINI1EA1).
you kuun dial J. IE.
Wt?ftty & luUS are the only Uuder-.'"tl-mi.lshnr.
i i ......l.
11 lint uffin.l t....,.-. .1 .........
, n Wtaker in town, and you
FORGET I hat wiicn
,7 ay thing in the Furniture or
i;!,.1"! line that, HW'rt0A Sor, in thf
'l- is tV, i Main street, hstroudsburs,
Jcetogetit.
told the incumbent of our iutention of stop
ping with them two or three days, lie
said. We can keep you through the day,
but not over night.'" '-Rut," said I, "what
shall we do :" "You can get lodgings at
Oneida Crossing, four miles away," said he.
We tb.eu resolved to make the best of the
seven or eight hours we had, and then take
the train to Oswego. Tho gentleman
see:nod very willing to answer readily all
quest ions but on that of their marriage re
lation, and tlsat, he said, was a complex
marriage. A doctor, who had been to get
bis dinner, joined us here, r.nd afterward
said, what the d 1 complex marraige was
he couldn't imagine. We told him it was
inarrvin- the whole community. tioinir
up a broad stair way we came into a roomy
and elegant corridor, in which is a species
of museum or cabinet of curiosities, com
prising Russian pottery, a variety of shells,
specimens of silk of their own manufacture,
specimens of rare coins, medals, autogrphs,
kc. From here we passed up into their
large room, which they occupy as a sort of
ehnpel. It is capable of seating several
hundred people, with a raised platform. It
is finely frescoed, and furnished with a
large number of chairs. There are also a
number of tables with a neat cloth, around
which both sexes gather in groups to pass
away their time as best pleases them. Their
library has some ii.500 volumes of bond
books. We asked our guide if they had
meetings there every Sabbath, and were
told that they had no more than on other
days ; that they met there every evening,
but that outsiders were not allowed to at
tend. Here our guide directed us up to
the tower and left us. Here we had a fine
view of the community grounds and sur
rounding country. Alandscapc of uncom
mon beauty lay spread out before us. At
one view we see the lawns with their neat
ly trimmed paths, the flower gardens with
their thousand brilliant colors. The dozens
of rustic seats and arbors half hid in shady
nooks, and beyond are the orchards, the
vineyards, meadows aud winding stream.
Directly west of the main building is an
other one connected by an underground
passage, built of brick and 70 feet long by
a5 feet wide, which is used as a kitchen.
The most of the cooking is done by steam
and iabor-saving appliances. Directly above
is the community dining room, with twelve
tables affording seats for 123 persons, pro
vided with a dumb waiter. The bakery is
in an adjoining building connected by an
iindcr-'round mssacre. A little way cast is
c-v.. v.iMl.lm.r where, an assortment of
goods had been formerly kept for them
selves, their employees, and the people
around there. A few rods south Is an
academy building, two stories high, with a
tower. Here is the recitation and child
ren's Kchool-room ; also a chemical labra
tory, where courses of instruction are given.
There are in this building about eighty un
der instruction. In another direction is
the laundry, which has a steam boiler,
washing and wringing machines, drying
room, &c, where the weekly washing js
done amounting to some 400 pieces. We
are now left to' go about the premises as
our fancy leads, and we made our way to a
building some 200 or 300 feet long, where
we were met by an oldish gentleman who
expressed some surprise that we had no at-
tendant. lie then too us iulo iu
iiin" department, where fruits of all kinds
were put in cans for shipment, and told us
how inauy car loads they then had orders
for. They were then cauniug peas, a great
many of which they purchase of the coun
try people, as well as all other fruits for
Here was a nine iuian 'i-
steam power. They would pour in a basket
peas aud the peas would come out one way
and the dilapidated pods the other. The
same steam engine runs other machinery
for making boxes ; also running their rotarj'
press for printing. Most of the type set
ting is done by the females. In the print
ing office we saw a number of young people
of both 'sexes enjoying themselves more
than being busy. J. II. Noys, the Brigham
Young of the community, was away from
home.
Return to the parade grounds we saw
much to interest us women stepping about
from one building to another with their
dresses at half mast, visitors coming and
going, kc. A little way' off we saw a gen
tleman with nine little ones, watching them
as a hen would her brood. We asked him
how that was, and he said that was his
business to take care of those nine children,
and that he had two or three women to
help. He had a little three-wheeled car
riage, and when the bell rung for tea he
put them all on and wheeled them to the
dinning-room. In another direction "we
saw an older man with another group of
of older boys ; also a female with a group
of girls. On interviewing the females I
told Smith that it seemed as .though they
thought the great Chestor knew well how
to make women so they would answer the
purpose for which they were designed with
out so much fuss and feathers as some
thought necessary. How they would ap
pear to dress them in the more modern
fashion one couldn't tell, but certainly there
is nothing very inviting or captivating in
their present appearance. Their hair is
cropped off short, their dress coming just
below the knee, with pantalettes loose, and j
feet looking small in comparison to troicser
gentlemen. Old ladies are no exception, j
whose gray hair and wrinkled faces tell of
three-score years.
There are other interests which we did
not sec, of which they gave us a statement.
Their forge, the trap works, the silk works
and machine shop. The number of traps
made and sold here in one year, where fur-
bearing animals arc found, has exceeded
JIOOjOOO, eight sizes, from the rat trap to
that of the grizzly bear of the Bocky Moun
tains. In the silk factory over one hun
dred hands are employed, mostly young
women from the neighboring villages. The"
amount of silk goods manufactured iu 1870
was $170,750.84:. Their 3-early income,
above all expenses, has been over 318.000.
Rut we must draw our long letter to a
close. Leaving this interesting community,
after seven hours of industry, we met a
man at the depot, where we had to wait
for an hour, and could enquire more into
their domestic life. He said that as a peo
ple they would be very much missed if
they were to go away. They seemed to
them what the coal companies are to the
people of Pennsylvania. He told us that
lie had lived there by them for thirty
years, and worked for them, and they were
an honest, and just people, always endcavor
iivr to do the risiht thing. He stated that
at the evening meetings each male put his
hand into a box and drew out a number of
a room, and that room and its occupant
were his for that night, so that his com
panionship was a matter of chance rather
than choice. There are 120 males and 1 11
females. There arc .'M children under 13
years of age, and 53 under 21. Every
thing about them is in perfect tinier, of
which neatness is but a feeble expression.
Owcgo. Aug. 23, 1874.
intcrence in the war, Russia would actively
aid the North.
The third book had within it copies of
the sealed orders given to the Russian ad
miral, who, as our readers will remember,
brought his fleet into New York harbor
during the war. The orders directed him
to proceed at once, with his whole avail
able force, to New 1'ork city, to remain at
anchorage there for some time, and in the
event of European interference with the
blockade, to put himself and his whole force
at the command of the Cabinet at Wash
ington, and promise abundant aud speedy
reinforcements.
While Governor Curtin started, dumb
founded, at these unexpected proofs of Rus
sia's steadfast fidelity to the Union cause,
Gortschakotr said to him : "Perhaps you
can appreciate now, sir, why the Emperor
aud Empress sent their thanks to the peo
ple who have honored the Grand Duke
Alexis and not the government that has
insulted him. We saved your country,
and now your President insults our repre
sentative. It is too much." Curtin quite
agreed with him, and tho interview ended.
Ch icarj't Trii u ue.
South Carolina Officials.
RUSSIA AND THE UNITED STATES.
Her Influence in our Civil War.
canning
amusing to us that of
fchclluig
peas by
Few people know how deeply indebted
the United States is to Russia for services
during the war. It has often been whis
pered that Russian influence prevented the
armed interference of France, aud perhaps
England, in behalf of the South. We arc
enabled to lay before our readers trust
worthy information, never before published,
in support of the truth of the rumor.
When Governor Curtin, on the event of
his return to this country, went, in his capa
city as the minister to Russia, to take for
mal leave of the Emperor, the latter closed
the conversation, substantially in these
words : "I wish, sir, that you would upon
j our return express my hearty thanks to
the American people for the reception they
have given my sou, the Grand Duke
Alexis."
This, it will be remembered, was shortly
after General Grant had refused to return
Alexis' call, and the latter had left Wash
ington in disgust. Governor Curtm no
ticed the Emperor's failure to send thanks
U the frovernment as well as the people. He
supposed, however, that it was a slip of the
tongue until the Empress bade him farwell
in almost precisely the same words. "I
shall be happy," said he, "to carry your
Majesty's thanks to my ggvernmeut and
people." "I sent my thanks, sir," the Em
press retorted, "to the people, aud only to
the people."
Governor, Curtin afterward complained
of the slight that had thus been publicly
put upon the government he represented,
lie was invited by Gortsc hakoff to a con-
f.Tence on the sulnect. lliree books were
brought in from the archives of the Foreign
Office. The first contained an autograph
letter from Napoleon III, asking Russia to
ioiu with England and France in breaking
uo the Federal blockade, and guaranteeing
the independence of the Confederacy
The letter asserted that England had al
ready promised her co-operation, which was
probably a lie.- ltie second uoot contained
the Emperor's reply. He flatly declined
ii.r t 11
the alliance proposed by Napoleon, aud cie-
A correspondent of the New York Sim
tells some stories about the negro officials
of bouth Carolina which arc very amusing,
but the fun mu3t be very serious to the
residents of that unhappy State. Not long
since a negro offender was brought before
a negro Trial Justice. The prisoner's of
fence was, in fact, no offence at all and it
was out of malice that he was arrested. A
whitp man a most respectable farmer
had given him some cotton seed, and he had
taken it without a thought but that the
title was good. Rut another negro claimed
the cotton seed and had darkey No. 1 ar
rested for stealing. Ihe TrialJustice heard
the testimony and sentenced the poor negro
to ten days' imprisonment and twenty dol
lars fine, although there was not a particle
of testmony upon which he could reasona
bly base a conviction. It happened the
Circuit Court was in session and the Judge
was informed that an innocent man was in
jail, lie had the Justice betore Lnn in
court and inquired for the testimony, which
the law declares shall be reduced to writ in
"I hain't got any," said the black Jus
tice. "1 don't do no writin in my court
I keeps it all in my head."
"V hat testimony did you have against
the man ?" demanded the Judge
He could not give any.
"Then why did you convict him ? ' the
Judge asked.
" 'Cause, sah, I noticed him close and he
looked guilty."
"You convicted him then on his looks
and not on the evidence T
"Yes, sah, he looked guilty and I found
him guilty.
Jhe black judicial officer was thereupon
'rivrTi rmio fiil-in r lir.w tr ernul ii't ln
"court,, and departed with a bow and
;Yes, sah."
I asked the lawyer as to the other Chester
county officials. He informed me that the
county was represented in the Legislature
by three members, all negroes. One of
them was a preacher, whose peculiarity was
that he would never take more for his vote
than 10. He did not think it wrong to
sell his vote, provided he did not exact an
exorbitant price. Ten dollars he conceived
to be the fair figure. "This thing of get tin
1 11111 r .if
a hundred dollars lor a vote, he says, "is
all wrong; ten dollars is as much as it is
wof."
The County Commissioners of Chester, 1
was told, were two ignorant negroes an
one drunken Irishman. The juries in the
courts are usually composed of four or five
white men aud seven or eight negroes. As
opening in the woods, covering an area of
about half an acre, Mr. Chadwick, who
went in search, came upon a sickening
spectacle. The lopped horns of the oxen
were clasped, and the exhausted animals,
united compactly, stood face to face, wait
ing for death, having apparently given up
the struggle. It is supposed that while
they were engaged in play their horns be
came entangled ; failing to disconnect them
selves, a terrible struggle of several days
took place. The open space was literally
torn up, as though it had been plowed with
a sub-soil plow. When they were turned
into the pasture they were large, fat, seveu-
eet oxen, but now they had become so
emaciated and famished that a person could
almost clasp them round with his arms.
lhev were perfectly docile when lound,
but Mr. Chadwick could not untie the
knot. Ihe horn 01 each was sunk into the
other's head, and it was only by calling
lelp, and sawing the horns off, that a separa
tion could be effected. There were fester
ing sores where the horns went in. Thus
a mortal conflict, lasting eight days, had
ueen going on between these oxen, who iu
that time had not partaken of any susten
ance, and perhaps had not been able to lie
down. Their jaws had to be pried open,
and gruel administered to them. Their
heads had been united so closely that their
faces were bare to the bone. It is possible
the animals may live."
UPPER DELAWARE NAVIGATION.
clared that, iu the event of any European I went inquest cftheni.
jurymen.
the
negroes
all seem desirous to
do right, but the trouble is their ignorance
In matters of accounts involving written
documents and figures, how is a negro to
be of service as a j un man when he does not
know a figure from an exclamation point ?
Another difficulty experienced with them
as jurymen is the constant effort requiret
to keep them awake. In hot weather, under
the soothing influences of testimony am
argument, of which they understand noth
ing, or at best but little, the African dis
position to relapse into a doze is almost lr
resistable. In the courts here the testimony
and arguments are frequently interrupted by
the judge ordering the sheriff to "wake up
those iurymen." If the Judge has not had
his dinner, or if, having it, it sits heavily
on his stomach and he feels generally an
noyed, he sometimes breaks out, after a
short stock of patince is exhausted : "Mr
Sheriff, wake up them niggers."
Long Battle Between Oxen.
The Augusta (Me.) Journal has the fol
lowing account of a protracted battle be
tween two oxen in that State : Mr. Cory
don Chadwick and Mr. Sullivan Erskine
have a pasture iu common at South China
which they me for the pasturage of cattle
lhcy have the present season bad sevcra
yokes of cattle in the pasture. Mr. Chad
wick aud Mr. Erskine have each an ox witl
a lopped or crooked horn, the right horn
of one and the left of the other having that
peculiar formation. These oxc-n were
turned loose into the common pasture, and
it was between them on that spot that the
pitched cattle of which we are to speak
took pbce. For several days these cattle
had been missing ; when the other cattle
came up these were not among the number.
How many days they had been missing be
fore search Was instituted is not definite!'
known, but becoming alarmed the owners
The Delaware River to be Made Naviga
ble to Port Jervis, New York.
3Iilfoki, Pa., Sept. G. It has for years
been a wonder why the Delaware river,
from Port Jervis, N. Y., to the famous
Delaware Water Gap, Pa., has not been
made navigable for a modern-sized steam-boat.
It has now become a matter of fact that
several prominent capitalists in Milford are
to at once carry into effect the long-talked
of enterprise. Viewers have already passed
up and down the proposed route, and are of
the opinion that a channel could be opened
for considerable less than fclOO.OOO, alter
applying the $10,000 appropriated by the
State of Pennsylvania.
In 180D an attempt was made to have a
steamer ply between Easton, Pa., and Bcl-vidc-re,
N. J., a distance of twelve miles.
A boat was built and launched into the
river at the former place, but had scarcely
got under headway when its boiler burst,
killing several and wounding many who
were on board. The enterprise was then
abandoned, and until the present time has
occasioned little thought or attention. It
is believed that the route from the Gap to
Port Jervis could be successfully accomplish
ed, for the simple reason that the rifts are
not so numerous, while the grade is much
less.
The route is intended principally for the
accommodation of New York, Philadelphia
and Brooklyn people, who yearly spend the
summer months at the numerous retreats
along this romantic stream.
The distance between the proposed points
of navigation is fbrty-onc miles via the river,
and the grade from three to four feet to the
mile. The route would be one of the grand
est in the world, and would undoubtedly be
extensively patronized. Along this portion
of the Delaware are the following celebrated
resorts :
First, Milford, a lovely halmet of some
twelve hundred inhabitants. It is near this
plate that Joseph Jefferson, of '-Rip Van
Winkle" lame, has so often taken immense
quantities of speckled trout. Below Milford
lies the beautiful little town of Dingnum's.
The High Falls are situated in the moun
tains a mile away.
The next attraction is the Delaware
Water Gap, the head of the proposed steam
boat navigation.
IT WASN'T A JOKE.
Governor Ilartranfi's son has entered
Lafayette College.
Northumberland schools will take no'
boys that use tobacco.
Apples are rolling in the New Castle
market at twenty-five cents per bushel.'
One hundred men were discharged from
the Eric shops at Susquehanna last Satur
day. There have been 120,000 visitors to the
Philadelphia Zoological Garden since tho
first of July.
The 3Ia-or of Reading has sued two;
men for slander, they having circulated
bad storic3 about him.
The furnace at South Easton, which has
been undergoing repairs, will be completed
and blown in the course of a few days.'
You can buy out California this year if.
you happen to have the trifling sum of
SUOOjUOO.OOO about you. That's Us valua-"
tion.
A pair of twin sisters, living in South
Bethlehem, gave birth to twins on Satur
day night. The four youngsters were born'
about the same hour.
The decrease in coal shipped from the
Lehigh region this year, as compared with
same time last year, by way of the New
Jersey Central route, is 27GJ3S tons.
A greenhorn sat a long time very atten
tively musing upon a cane' bottom chair."
At length he said.-'I wonder what fellow
took the trouble to find all them are holes
and put straws around cm '?
A grape vine on the farm of Franklin
Smith, in Salisbury, Lehigh county, has
grown the present season fbrtjMwo feet.
Beans grown on the same property, aro
from twenty-two to twenty-four inches in
length. Great excitement has resulted at War
minster, Bucks county, from the elope
ment of a beautiful white girl, aged eigh-,
teen years, named Annie Thompson, and'
respectably connected, with a negro called1
Joe Palmer. The affair has stricken down
the parents with grief.
Of the Democratic candidate for Auditor
General the Grcensburg Tn'Lune and Jfer
aid says : "Mr. Temple, of Greene cdiinty
b another strange nomination, and not such
as the people had a right to expect. He
has uo record except that which he kept
while acting as Prothonotary of Greene
county."
There was to be a marriage in a French
village, and all the guests were punctual,
but the bridegroom could not be found.
He was discovered at last up a tree, but
would not come down till the future father-"
in-law conveyed to him a farm that had
been promised. Much protestation and
many tears, but he was firm. Finally the
papers were sigued, and down he came.
Commend us to Mrs. Hurt el, of Rals-'
ton, Pa. She caught a thief in her bed
room last week, collared him, and shook
him up so industriously that his hat fell
off. Out of his hat fell her pockctbook
which he had secreted. The brave lady in
picking up her pockctbook was incautious
enough to let go of her thief, who did not
wait to recover his hat nor to make even"
the most limited inquiry as to what direc-"
tion he should take.
Coming
to an
I happened to call at MagruJer's the
other morning, on my way down town, and
as I knew them well, 1 entered the side
door without knocking. I was shocked to
find Mr. Magruder prostrate on the floor,
while Mrs. Magruder sat on his chest, and
rumbled among his hair, as she bumped his
head on the boards, and scolded him vigor
ously. They rose when 1 came in, and
Magruder, as he wiped the blood from his
nose, tried to pretend that it was only a
joke. But Mrs. Magruder interrupted
him : "Joke ? Joke ? I should think not !
L should not ! 1 was giving him a dressing
down. He wanted to have family prayers
before breakfast, and I was determined to
have them afterward, and as he threw the
Bible at me, and hit Mary Jane with the
hymn book, 1 soused down on him. It 1
can't rule this house, 1 11 know the reason
why. Pick up them Scriptures and have
prayers, louhear me, .Magruder. Its
more trouble regulatin' the piety of this
family than riinnin' a sawmill. Mary Jane,
give 'pa that hymn book."
m
Bonny Kate advertises in the Atchison
Champion for her husband who is plainly
not a Petruchio : "Lost, strayed, or stolen!
An individual whom I, in an urgent mo
ment of loneliness, was thoughtless enough
to adopt as my husband ! He is a good
looking and feeble individual, not know
ing enough, however, to .come in when it
rains, unless gome good-looking girl offers
him the shelter of the umbrella. Answers
to the name of Jim. Was last seen in the
company of Julia Harris, walking with his
arm around her waist, looking more like a
fool, if jiossible, than ever. Anybody who
will catch the poor fellow and bring him
b;vk, so that I can chastise him for run
ning away, will be invited to stay to tea by
Kate E. Smith,"
The fortunitous Democratic nominee for'
Auditor General, Justus Tcniple not a
Temple of Justice; is a lawyer of vast pro
fundity, and has been so regarded by all
acute jurists who have been thrown in con-"
tact with him. As a proof of his standing
as such in Greene county and here alone'
is he known we relate the following
colloquy which actually took place in the
Greene county Court House, between this
"Justice,' and His Honor, the late Judge
Gihnore : It was a case in which "Justice"
had brought his client into Court feet fdrc-
most or an action "wrong brought" and
as a matter of course the case would be'
ejected head foremost from the Court. In:
an infautile effort on the part of "Justice"'
to save his client, he piteously iuquired,
"What', then, may it please your Honor,
will my client do." The Judge, who had
for some moments been thus tortured, look'
ing out over the head of "Justice" Temple,
glancing a look over the audience with an
eye like a wounded pauther," and his teeth
clenched and lips parted, exclaimed, " H'Ay,
, get tt-a lawyer y Uhiontoicn SV
dard. The correspondent of the Middletown
Mercury furnishes that paper the following
item :
"There are no finer grass farms in the
world than those in the southwestern part
of Wayne County, Pa." The townships of
Sterling, Salem, Canaan, and others, are'
almost one continuous extent of meadow
and mountain grass land. Thousands of
tons are raised annually.- During the fall
and winter months the turr-pikes leading
to Scranton from that section of country
are filled with wagons carting hay to that
city, the markets of that place being stocked
almost entirely with Wayne county grass.
There is laud in Pike county, lying just
the same as these fine farms, but which is
either covered with a shaggy growth of:
pcrub oak or is sparsely timbered and con
sidered of no value, which is natuarl grass
laud, and could be transformed into first
class grazing farm with very little expense.
The natives cannot see it, however, and dig
year in and year out among rocks and
stumps to raise barely enough rye and buck
wheat to buy the winter's groceries, when
they might iu a few years become in
dependent by turning their farms into wh.it
nature destined them to be.'