UL
J-
r
I1T
Deuotci to politics, ttcratuvc, gricnhurc, Science, IHovalihj, axxb cncral Sntciligcuec.
i
i
.j
31.
. itai 1 1' 's : yearin advance and iTnot
1 r .k0 ,j ,,f Uie wear, two dollars and fifty
, ni 'i 1'iinte 1 until all arrearages are paid,
M1..:!ii;i cttl-e EMor.
e" f. i 'r'Ci-' f fr'V'TC of (cttht If n5) or
.... '
I.onjcr o:iss in proportion.
JOI5 IItl.TIXC,
OF ALL KISDS,
. ;s lfcs liiitiCstMyle of the Ait, and enlh
rnii'. teSi -iftlt terms.
o
WILLIAM S. REES,
Surveyor, Conveyancer and
Heal Estate Agent.
r,v-i3 Timber Lands and Town Lots
FOR SALE.
i i v next d.or above S. Rees' news Depot
,J..,r Iv'.ow the Corner if tore.
D R. J. L, A N T Z,
;;i an.! Mechanical Dentist,
3 S. ;
' :1s
e fi M tin Strert, i ti the second
.Vs i)ru k L'.ji;il::ig, neaitv oppo-
a i:
lt..if ai:J lie tl.tller iiiuit-eii
fSci.iNti.it !)i;ic!!i'f anj the i!iOl
i .i" ;'iiM--n i' hI! rii.iitfrs poliOiiing
h i', lie i iily .thie l jverf.Tiii ail
iiiif Hi iUe ii;ctcurefu;,t.trile-
"4 '1
i:. I
: i !
:. .(
! l ' I!
.:
: v:i !" n mq l!ie X iturai Tei-th ;
:! .f Ar! li'U'iai rot-t h on Uulitipr,
!ii'j-us (Ju.ns, and peilert fits lu
. ,-. k l.ic inei ric luc.!. or to iiiu-e
April 13, ISTl.-ly
?HT5ICIAN AND SURGEON.
1 1 c ' '".oor rJ).)ve Stroiulsbur House,
r-.,; ;,.r.c? ii ;r a'.ove Post Ofiice.
t,'; ' vtr uo:a to 12 A. m., from 3 to 5
r: 17 to v. m. Mar 3 '7:J-ly.
V
PHISIOU::, SURGEON & ACCOUCHER.
in :!ri .-I S r.r.rc fif Dr. A. ltceves Jack.-on,
r.- i.L-: :it-r of.rali and Fr.inkliii strict.
STROUDSBURG, PA.
l'IIUTI AM) jlEjilAMCAL DEMIST,
.; . j 1 . -r.tf 1 ; i Hn-t .Strou.W.ntrsr, Pa., an
: i', il ii, i- no .: j-rejvir- 1 to insert arti-:--..-:h
:n t!ii uac-t beautli'til and life-like
. -r. ,!-'. irreut atten'ion given to tilling
: -.1 -rv:;,,' ti:c r:;tt'tr:il tc-eih. Teeth ex
: -vi i.w jt p:,:a l;v -.t-si of Nitrou-s Oxide
r:v a:! r v.-ork in.;iifr.t to the profession
o t !", fkiilful and approved style.
All ,r ;;,. :,!. 1 io j r.nuptly and warranted.
rcjr jni.!'.a. l'itron.igo of the public
1.
':i,e in. A. V. LoJer's new building, op
povtc Arbinink House, East S-troudlurg,
h. July 11, 1L73 ly.
j TAR. . s I'llCU.
enlist.
Amo-.ncs ih ,t hivin? jus: returneJ from
D?Til Co::, lie U fully prepareJ to make
'lir:;3c:al te-t j in lite ritost beautiful and lite
!!' tmnner. and 10 fiU decayed teeth ac
jcrJ.nj to the mo-t ioi proved method.
I Teeiti exrrict-J vitlioit pain, when de
bv tiie use of Nitrous Oxide Gs,
I wit ch is en; ri!y lunn'es. Repairing of
fci:ds ttntly (Zona. All work warranted.
3 lair- rr i.i'.'i : r.!e.
I 05:; ;:i J. ( KeiierV new Dric!; build-
Mii 1 S r.jct, Stron J?bur, Pa.
I ajjol-if
j TIMES U. VALTO.
'J Atlurnc;)' ill Iaw,
t ')-: i-j th builiiuir f.rmrly occupied
scr L M. j; ir- ,n. ;i:r ..ppke th-3 .Stnmds
jbavlij.:k. Maij -;:reot. jjiroa-Jliurg, Pa.
T 1:0 ;!(- : i'-i.r w.'.'dd inform tliC public that
'5 lus K-a-td !h-i !.' -.;s(- f,rmai!y ki-jtby Jacob
Kiiet lu. in tl... JJ-vroith of Strondbiirp, Pa.,
"iii1Hvin2rcpat!iti.l a:;d rtfuriiib'.'d tbesaine,
-1 ircir.re i tjirit'ri::n all wi.o imy patronize
Y-a. It is the ai:.i .f the pnjpfietor, to furn-
1".) S n.;,ir .,,.(-.,.fir-ir,.la'i:l!v S IlKlllHritC TatCS
r'I fp;ire no pain to promote the coni-
lor: ..f th,- jr. A liberal sliare of public
Mrll 17,'7-J-:f.
d. l. pisij:.
EOXESDALE, PA.
Ict ivrit:.:,a t, ai3y Uutel in town.
, , K. V. KIPLK& SOX,
lJia::-iry, 173. ly.
! OI'I . ,-jtj: TIIC DKI'OT,
P.a-t .StrouJsburg, Pa.
15. J. VAX COTr, Proprietor.
1(, Tne eap. contains the choiest Liquors and
taele is s ipplle l with the best the market
ard- CUrj:., uoJcrate. may 3 lS72-tf.
' .Iciint Vcjiron House,
U7 asd 110 ITcrth Second St.
Ab-jvK Ar.c'jr,
PHiLADZLPtflA.
y so, i-7o ly
EV. EDWARD A . W I LSO N ' S(o7vVr i 1
y liam-lurgh, N. Y.) Recipe for COX
MPTIOXand ASTHMA carefully com
pounded at
HOLUNSHEAD'S DRUG STORE.
Medicines Fresh and Pure.
21. mi. v. HOLLINSHEAD.
VOL.
nuvt .JJfoclQmation.
nVjerTcs, the lion. Samuel S. Dkeher.
President Jnd-re of t!ie2d Judicial District of
Pennsylvania, composed of the counties of
Wayne, Pike, Monroe and Carbon, and
John De Young-, and Peler Gruver, Esqr's,
Associate Jmljrcs of the Court of Common
Picas of the County of Monroe, and by vir
tue of their offices. Justices of the Court of
Oyer and Terminer and General Jail delive
ry and Court cf General Quarter Sessions in
and for the said County of Monroe, have is
sued their precept to me commanding that
a Court of Quarter Sessions of the Pence and
Common Pleas, and Court of Oyer and Ter
miner and General Jail Delivery and Or
phan's Court, for the said County,)f Monroe,
to be holden at Stroudsburg, on
MOXDAY, the 'J2J day of December,
1S73, to continue two weeks, if necessary.
NOTICE
Is hereby given to the Cononer, the Justices
of the Peace, and Constables of the said coun
ty of Monroe, that they be then and there
ready willi their rolls, records, inquisitions,
examinations and other remembrances to do
those things which their offices are appertai
ning, and also that those who are bour.d by
recojrniz mces to prosecuteand givcevidt nee
again.-t the prisoners that are or shall be in
thej-iilcf the said county of Monroe, or a
gainst persons who stand charged with the
commission of offences to be then and there
to prosecute or testify as shall be just.
(God save the Commonwealth.)
CHARLES HENRY, Sheriff.
Siierill's Oihce Siroiidsburir,
roiidsburir, i
4, 1-73."
December
GRAND OPENING
nuTnnssoA's muck building,
opposite T. Stem pie's Store,
EAST STROUDSBURG.
Having jnt opened with an entire new stock of
Dry Goods and Groceries,
CONSISTING OF
DRESS GOODS,
DELAINES,
POPLINS,
WHITE GOODS, H
CASSI MERES,
CLOTHS,
AND OIL CLOT II.
WOOLENS,
SHAWLS,
ALPACAS,
TLANNELS,
DOMESTICS,
PRINTS,
Also a full assortment of choice Family Gro
ceries and Provisions, FJour, Feed, Meal, Salt,
Fish, Pork, Oil, Syrups, Molasses, Sugars,
Crockery and Tinware, "Wooden and
Willow Ware,
Flavoring Extracts, and Spices of every kind,
and in fact every thing usually kept in a Dry
Goods Store. All my proods are new and can
not fail to jrive satisfaction.
Goods t-hown with pleasure. Call and ex
amine before pureha.-ing elsewhere and there
by save time and nionev.
J.'IL SIIOTWELL,
Formerly Slater & Shotwell.
Dec.'. 4, lS73.-3m
THElvIONROE county
Co-Operatiye Life Insurance
COMPANY.
STROUDSBURG, PENNSYLVANIA.
Limit 5,000 Members.
C 1 1 A IIT E it pi: r pet u a l.
Any person of sound body and mind, of
either sex, not less than fiueen nor more
ihan sixtv-five vears of aye, and not enra-
trpi in nnv occti na t ion. excerdi nrt v danrer-
ous to life, may become a member or tnisi
Company, by paying an admission lee, as
follows:
From 15 to 40 years of age 83 00
40 to f0 " " 5 00
50 ti f;0 10 00
CO to G" " 20 00
And oi e dollar fr Tolicy.
No olhrr charges will be made at any
time, excepting one dollar and ten cents for
each member who dies.
The advantages of this COMPANY over
the ordinary Life Insur ance Companies are,
that the fees are so small that the man of
moderate means can secure t competency
to his family at a trifling cost, and payable
at such long intervals, and such small sums,
that no person can be inconvenienced by
them. This company cannot fail; no
panics can affect it. Persons holding cer
tificates of member.-hip in this Company,
are sure in case of death that their faniihes
or heirs will get as many dollars as there
are members in the Company.
No restriction are placed upon traveling
or residence.
Appllications for insurance, or informa
tion, may be made to the Directors or Secre
tary, at Stroudtburg, Pa.
di recto as.
R. S. Staples, H. R. Biesecker.
M. F. Coolbaugh, Wm. Fine,
Kindarus Shupp, J. II. I'Vtherman,
C. D, Brodhead, Peter Gruver,
E. B. Dreher.
R. S. STAPLES, Pres't.
M. A.. De L. Van Horn, Sec'y.
March 6, 1873 tf.
B
LANKS OF ALL KttTDS for Sale at
this Office
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., DECEMBER 11, 1873.
The President's Message An Able State
Paper.
President Grant ?peakes plainly in his
message. It is a short paper, consider
ing how much he had to cay. It is a
satisfactory stewardship, on the whole,
and he gives authority to what was pre
viously believed. There is peace with
the nations, and the "protocol," with
Spain as to the Virgiciu3 promises to
stand, while the Cuban out look is auspi
cious of traucjuillity and liberty ; but,
meanwhile we arc preparing lor any
change in the situation. The skeleton of
the protocol was before the country in
advance of the message, and Mr. Fish ap
pends the official substance of it. sied by
himself and Rear Admiral Polo, the
Spanish plenipotentiary. Congress can
do nothing more than wait events, and
vote confidence and money to the Execu
live. The President seems to have read
section 1G of article 4 of our new Pennsylvania-
constitution, judging by his re
commendation of an amendment to the
National Constitution in favor of a veto
or approval of parts of any :eneral rneu
sure like an appropriation bill. There is
slight prospect of increased receipts jhis
fiscal year, owiug to the panic ; and to
provide against this he advises retrecch
ment in regard to new public buildings
and additional claims for Southern losses
by the rebellion. Uut he hopes "the day
is not far distant when the Government
will not only possess'' such public build
in:s ia all the cities, "but will erect ia
the capital suitable resideuces for all per
sons who now receive commutation for
(juarters cr rent, at Government expenss,
and for the Cabinet, thus setting aa ex
ample to the States which may induce
them to erect buildings for their Sena
tors ; but I would have this work con
ducted at a time wheu the revenues of
the country would abundantly justify it."
On the special subject ol Finance the
President is definite, and comes to the
point in these characteristic sentences.
They cover the whole ground. We have
never seen the case more tersely stated :
During the last four years the currency
has teen contracted directly by tha with
drawal of three per ceut. certificates, com
pound interest note?, and seven thirty
bmds outstanding on the 4th of March.
1G'J, all of which took the place of legal
tenders in the bank reserves to the ex
tent ol 03,000,000.
During the same period there has Icen
a much larger comparative contraction of
the currency. The population of the
country ha3 largely increased. More
than twenty five thousand miles of rail
road have been built, requiring the active
use of capital to operate them. Millions
of acrei of laud have beeu opened to
cultivation, rquirin capital to move the
products.
Manufactories have multiplied tejond
all precedent in the same period of time,
requiring capital weekly for the payment
of waces and for the purchase of material;
and probably the- largest of all compara
tive contraction arises from the origina
tion of free labor in the South. Xow
every laborer there receives his wages,
and, for want of savings banks, the greater
part of suh wages is carried in the pock
et or hoarded until required for use.
These su:restions are thrown out for
your consideration without any recom
mendations that they shall be adopted li
terally, but hoping that the best method
may be arrived at to secure such an elas
ticity of the currency as will keep era
employed all the industries of the coun
try and prevent such an inflation a will
put off indefinitely the resumption of
specie paytneuts, an object so devoutly to
be wished for by all. and by none more
earnestly than the class of people most
directly intercstsd, those who earn their
bread by the sweat of their brows.
Or in other words, the country, has
out grown its clothes ; the currency suffi
cient our years ago is not sufficient now.
Xow let Congress act quickly, and give us
a practical reply to the President's appeal
All he says on this subject is pointed and
clear, aud will have the best effect on the
country.
The petition of the Mcnnonitcs of
Southern Russia, some 50,000, asking
permission to locate in a body on our pub
lie land?, on the recommendation of their
brethren in Lancaster county, in this
State, is favorably and earnestly recom
mended to the attention of Congress.
Concerning the San Domingo question,
which a year or two ago obtained much
prominence, the President makes no re
commendation, but transmits to Congress
an application from that Republic asking
our Government to assume a protectorate
over it.
The subject cf cheap transportation
claims it tshara of attention, and the sug
gestions about it arc characterized by the
President's usual strong practical saga
city He would encourage Hie States of
Xew York and Illinois to enlarge their
canals connecting the bikes with the II uJ
son and the Mississippi rivers respectively,
by promising I hat the Government .ha!l
thenceforth keop them open as great na
tional wafer routes.
While the President does not in terms
recommend that Congress should make
an appropriation to the Centennial Fund,
he directs attention to the proposition of
the Secretary of the Interior for a census
in 1875, and sjs : "A census taken iu
1875. the report of rrhich could be com
pleted and published before the one hun
dredth anniversary of our independence,
would be especially intenrstior and vain
1 "JWU-'W "
able, as showing the country during the
first century of our national cxisteuce."
This subject itself is worthy of a special
message, not simply ia view of the vir
tualjy pledged faith of the Government
in making the Centennial a national af
fair, but io the light of the earnest pre
parations of foreign governments. Ger
many has already moved in the matter
by placing the selection of her comtnis
sioners to Philadelphia on July 4, 1 870.
in the hands of Prince Risaiarck. Eng
land has indicated her desire in the same
directiou ; and the Emperor of Rrazil Las
proclaimed his lively personal interest in
the American Centennial. The Presi
dent himself, in the opcuing paragraph
of his message, laj'3 marked emphasis on
the good results that have followed our
representation at the Vienna Exposi
tion, and directs attention to the report of
the ageut of the Patent Office oa the sub
ject.
With a candor that wc cannot su5
ciently admire, the Presidut shoulders
the reponsibilit)' of a bold endorsement
of the system id public improvements in
the District of Columbia. He ivfer to
the shameful condition of Washington
City three years ago aud to its beautilul
aspect to day, aud calls upon Congress to
act liberally towards the local authorities
as well because Washington is the Xa
tioual Capital as because the Government
lias large aud valuable reserves iu that
ten miles square. This decided approval
of the course of Governor Shepherd and
his associates will be good news to the
people of Washington.
Taken as a whole, the message is sen
sible and satisfactory, full of strong points
well put, and exactly the statement thai
will give to foreigioeers a fair insight in
to our progress and tempt the citizen to
turn to it for information.
Scene ia an Opium Shop.
Oue who has never visited an opium
shop can have no conceptioa of the fatal
fascination that holds its victims fast
bound mind, heart, soul, aud conscience,
all absolutely deal at every impulse but
the insatiable, ever increasing thirst for
the damning poison. I catered one of
these dens but once, but I can never for
get the terrible sights and sounds of that
place of torment." The aparttscnt was
spacious, and might have been pleasant,
but for its foul odors and still fouler
scene of unutterable woe the foot prints
of sin trodden in the furrows of those hag
gard faces and emaciated forms Oa all
four sides of the room were couches plac
ed thickly against the walls, and others
were scattered over the apartment wher
ever there was room for them. Oa each
of these lay extended the wreck ol what
was once a man. Some few were old
all were hollow eyed, with sunken cheeks
and cadaverous countenances ; many were
clothed in rags, haviug probably smoked
away their last dollar; while others were
offering to pawn their ouly decent gar
ment for au additional does of the deadly
drug. A decrepit old man raised himself
an we entered, drew a long sigh, and then,
with a half uttered imprecation on his
own folly, proceeded to refill his pipe.
This he did by scraping off, with a five
inch steel needle, some opium from the
lid of a tiny shell-box, rolling the paste
into a pill, and, then, after heating it in
the blaze of a lamp, deposit it within the
small aperture of his pipe. Several short
whiffs followed ; then thesmoker woulJ
remove the pipe from his mouth and lie
back motionless; then replace the pipe,
and with fast glazing eyes blow the smoke
slowly through his pallid nostrils. As
the narcotic effects of the opium began to
work he fell back on the couch in a state
of silly stupefaction that was alike pitiable
and disgusting. Another smoker, a mere
youth, lay with face buried in his hands,
and as he lifts d his head there was a look
of despair such as I have seldom seen.
Though so young, he was a complete wreck,
with hollow eyes, sunken chest, and a ner
vnus twitching in every muscle I spoke
to him, and learned that six months be
fore ha had lost his whole patrimony
by gambling, and came hither to quaff
forget! ulncss from these Lethean cups ;
hoping, he said, to find death as well as
oblivion. 15y far the larger proportion of
the smokes were so entirely uuder the
influence of the stupefying poi.-an as to
preclude any attempt, at con versation, and
we passed out from this moral pest house
sick at heart us we thought of these in
fatuated victims of self indulgence and
their starving families at home. This
baneful habit once formed, is seldom giv
cu up, and from three to five years io
dulgence will utterly wreck the firmest
constitution, the frame becoming daily
more emaciated, the eyes more sunken,
and the countenance more cadaverous,
till the brain ceases to perform its func
tions, and death places its seal on the
wasted life. Lijyu'uvoft's Mojazine.
There is said to bo a girl in London
derry township, llcdl'ord county, who can
stand in a half bushels measures and
shoulder three bushel of wheat. ' She is
also stated to have challenged a ttout
young man of the same county to wrestle
with her for tha championship of the
State.
A disease similar in all its forms fo the
horsa disease of last year has again made
its appearance among the horses in some
parts of Chester county. It is ft: o red
that it will prove a repetition of last year's
terrible afflictions anions the dock.
r.y request
Tha Liquor Interest.
Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are
marching; how many of them? Sixty
thousand ! Sixty full regiments, every
man of which will before twelve months
shall have completed their course, lie
down in the grave of a drunkard ! Every
year duriug the past decade has witnessed
the same sacrifice; and sixty regiments
stand behind this army ready to take its
dace. It is to be recruited from our
children and our children's childrcu.
Tramp, tramp, tramp, the earth shares
with the tread of the host now passing ;
tramp, tramp, tramp, comes to us from
the camp of the recruits. A great tide
of life flows resistlessly to its death
What in God's name are they fighting
for ? The privilege of pleasing an ap
petite, of cou'ormiog to a social usage, of
tilling sixty thousand homes with shame
and sorrow, of loading the public with
the burden of paupatisni. of crowding our
prison houses with felons, of detracting
from the productive industries of the
country, of ruining fortuuesand breaking
hopes, of breeding disease and wretched
ness, of destroying both body aud soul
iu hell before their time.
The prosperity cf the liquor interest,
covering evey department of it def ends
entirely oa the m iiittenauce ol this army.
It cannot live without it. It never did
live without it. So long as the liquor
iutercst maintains its present prosperous
condition, it will cot America the sacrifice
of sixty thousand rzieu every year. The
effect is inscpatablo from the cause. The
cost to the country of the liquor trafie is
a sua so stupenduous that auy figure
which we should dare to give would con
vict us of trifling The amount of life
absolutely destroyed, the amount of bread
transformed into poison, the shame, the
unavailing sorrow, the crime, the poverty,
the pauperism, the brutality, the wild
waste of vital aud financial resources,
make an aggregate so vast, that the only
wonder is that American people do not
rise as one man and declare that this
great curse shall exist no longer. Dilcttao
te conventions are held on the subjeet o!
peace, by men and women who find it
necessary to fiddle to keep themselves
awake. A hue and cry is raised about
woman suffrage, as if any wroag which
may be involved in womau's lack of sutl
rags could be compared to the wrongs
attached to the liquor interest.
Does any sane woman doubt that wo
men are sufferiuga thousand times more
from rum than auy political disability ?
The truth is that there is no question
before the American people to day that
begins to match iu importance the teai
peratiee question. The. question of
American slavery was never anything but
a baby by the side of this ; aud we
prophesy that within ten years, if not
within five, the whole country will be
awake to it, divided upon it. The organiza
tion of the liquor interest, the vast funds
at its command, the universal 'feeling
among those whose business pitted against
the national prosperity aud the pubjic
morals these are enough to show that,
upon one side of this matter at least, the
present condition of things and the sociaH
and political questions that lie in the
immediate future are apprehended. The
liquor interest knows there is to be a great
struggle, and is preparing to meet it.
People both in this country and in Great
Eritaiu arc beginning to see the enormity
of this business are beginning to reahza
that Christian civilization is actually
poisoned at its fountain, and that there
can ba no purification of it until the
source of the poisou is dried up.
The country is sincerely to be congratu
lated on the fact that the;wine interest of
the United States does not promise much.
Little native, wines after all our paintak
ing, finds its way to a gentleman's table.
The California wines, are a disappoint
ment and a failure, and the Western
wines are the same Xeither the dry nor
the sparkling Catawba takes the place of
anythiug imported. They are not popular
wines, and wc congratulate the couutry
that they never can be. The lager beer
interest is endeavoring, in convention, to
separate itself from the whisky interest,
claiming be holier and more respectable
than that. They ara to be all lumped
together. They are all opposed to sobriety,
and in the end, we shall find them all
fighting side by side for existence agaiust
the determir.od indignation of a long suf
fering people.
A respectable English magazine re
ports, as a fact of encouraging moment,
that of the fifty thousand clergymen of
the church of England as many as four
thousand actually abstain from the uso of
spirits I So eleven twelfths of the clergy
men of the English church consent to be
dumb dogs on the temperance question !
How large the proportion of wine drink
in" clergymen may be iu this country wc
do not kuow, but we do know that n wine
iilass stops the mouth on the subjeet of
temperance whoever may hold it. A wine
drinking clergyman is a soldier disarmed
He is not only not worth a straw in tho
light ; ha is a part of the iiripeiimenta of
the temperance army. We have a good
many such to carry, who ought to be
ashamed of themselves and who very soan
will be. Temperance laws are being
passed by the various Legislatures, which
they must sustain, or go over, soul and
body to the liquor inters! and influence
Steps are being taken ou behalf of the
public bealth, morals und prosperity,
I which they must approve by voice and
NO. 31.
act, or they must conseM to be left behind
and left out. There is no concession or
compromise on the part of the temperance
men, and uo quarter to the foe Th9
great curse to our country and our rac3
must be destroyed.
Meanwhile the tramp, tramp, tratnn,
sounds on on the tramp of sixty thous
and yearly victims. Some are besutted
and stupid, sotae are wil l with hi! uitv,
and dance along the dusty way, soma reel
along iu pitiful weakness some wreck
their mad and murderous impulses oa one
another, or on the hu!p!es womaa aoi
children vhs deinies are united to
theirs, some stop in wayside debaucheries
and infamies f ir a moment, some g bound
iu chains from which they seek in vain
to wreuch their bleeding wiists, and all
are poisoned in body and soul, and all a:o
doomed to death. Wherever they more,
crime, poverty, shame, wret she Jni- aul
despair hover iu awful shadows. There
is no bright side to the picture. Wo
forget, there is jut one The wen who
make this art:-y get lich. Their children
are robed in purple and fine lir-p-j.aul
live upon dainties Some ure re.- ectalde
members of society, and they h -l,! con
ventions to protect their inter est I Still,
the tramjt, trump, tramp goes on, and be
fore this article can see light, five tb-onj
and more of poisoned army will have
hidden their shame and di.-grat-e in the
gave Dr. J. G. Iluliaml ,SV ri',:i cr's
for August.
Literal Answers.
"Hoy, may I inquire whsrs Pijblasou's
drug store is V
'Certainly, sir," replied the boy, very
respectfully.
Well, sir," said the ger-tlcnrm, aftsr
waiting awhile, "where is it !'"
"I have not tho least iJea, y;
said the urchin.
1 .
nor.
fl.pr.? rn!.pr I.
was another i!v
who
was
l,!y
accosted by au ascetic midla aged
with :
4,loy, I want to go to. Dover street."
"Well, ma'am," said the boy, "vrl.y
don't you go then ?"
One day. at Lake George, a party of
gontlemen strolling among: the beautiful
islands m the lake, with l ad luck, est ied
a little fellow with a rsd shirt and r:raw
hat, dangling a li dg over the side of a
boat.
'Halloa, boy !" said one of tlca, "wLat
ara you doing ?"
"Fishing," came the answer.
'Well, of course," said the gentleman,
'but what do you citch V
"Fish ; what do you soppoe V
"Did any of you ever see an elephant's
skin V inquired a teacher cf au i&faut
class.
"I have," exclaimed one.
'Where ?" asked the teaeher.
"On the elephant," said the boy laugh
ing. Sometimes this sort of wit degenerates
or rises, as the case may be, into punning,
as when Flora pointed pensively to the
heavy masses cf clouds io the sky. saying :
"I wonder where those clouds are go
ing?" and her brother replied :
"I think they are going to thunder."
Also the following dialogue :
"Halloa, there! how do you sell rour
wood ?"
"By the cord."
"How long has it bceu cut?"
"Four feet."
"I mean how long ha3 itb?ca siuce v-a
cut it?"
"Xo longer than it is now."
And also when Patrick O'F'ynn va
seen with his collar and his bosom s-::d!y
begrimrceJ, and was indignantly aiked ly
his officer :
"Patrick O'Flyna ! how Ion
u
wear a shirt ?"
"Twenty eight iodic, sir."
This reminds one of an instance wliiclt
is said to have occurrel recetly iu
Chatham street, Xew York, where a
countryman was clamorously besieged ly
a shopkeeper :
"Have vou aBy fis-3 sbitts
aske-1 tho
countryinaa.
"A splendid assortment. Step in, sir
Every price aud styl
The
cati:ipcs.C ir
market, sir.
"Are they clean ?"
"To be sure "
"Then you had better put one ou, lr
you need it," was the reply.
A Western editor has put iu practice a
plan which will enable all papers to dis
pense with the usual fighting members of
the staff. One morning he was watted
upon by the biggest kin 1 cf a fellow
armed with a terrific cudgel, with several
and suudiy protuberances sicking out all
round, taarvelo-.ily resembling Colts,
Derringers and 11 wic., v. ho saluted him
with "Where's that scoundrel the edi
tor !" Our frieu l sai i "Ho xvs col
about; but please take e s-?at an i ai!usj
yourself with a paper, he will be iu a few
minutes," and hurried down t-tatts, at tho
foot of which he met another tniu still
more profane h;h1 fierce, who asked too
rime question in tho s-tmo language.
"Oh," said the retreating editor, "Go up
stairs, you will find him reading the i
per." Accordingly up he went like a
high pres-ure Menu engine. k-t;io' !!'
steam at every step Oar friend v i:e t
a minute, and such a crah si uu, bang,
oath, curse, obj-irgati hi, as if all Pan !,:
monuim were let boo Wh.it th? tcs'ik
was, xvas uever kuow , as our Lieu J didu';
! wait
"inr