u
HP Tl W IT? i iWlR QO WtT'A "NT
' ; ' " wtlxa,lJJULJac
EJcuotcb to politics, Citcraturc, Vgricnlturc, Science, iilouilitn, emu (Scncral Intclligcucc.
VOL. 31.
STROUDSBURG, .MONROE COUNTY, PA., JUNE 26, 1873.
NO. 7.
Published by Theodore Schoch.
TS'lS -Tu Jotl.irs a yearin advance and if not
jvi I before the n l of the year, two dollar nd fifty
rents Mill t charceJ.
N. i-int:'- ht:viiinie-J until all arrearages are paid,
except the tMimi o! the Editor.
irjr.l Keriiseioents of one square of (eight line) or
s. one; or t!ire mertimis SI 50. Each additional
hs-sru mi, 34 cent. Longer ones in proportion.
JOB PRINTING
OF ALL KINDS,
Rtecutrd in the liiahejtsljrle of the Art, and on the
most reasonable terms.
WILLIAM 3. REES,
Surveyor, Conveyancer and
Eeal Estate Agent.
Farms, Timber Lands and Town Lots
FOR SALE. "
Office next door above S. Ilees' news Depot
and "Jil door below the Corner .Store.
March. 20, 1873-tf.
Surgeon ami Mechanical Dentist,
Still his Ins otjfre oil M.iin Street, in l!i foi'ihkI
ii )' n( Ur. S. V.iitoii"s Uriels. Ixjiitlmg. nciiily tipi'"
il the Siitiud!iirg Jlte, and lie ll.tlle i1iHiilf
tint hy eisiliirMi Vfiiis iti)iil uit prat-lire and the mo.-t
Mruct anJ rait-lili aUenll n to all mailers po I. lining
(u bis pi ivjfsniui. I Dal lie is lully ,it)le to ptil -rm ill
f" rations in tU- denial line in the mod o.iielul, taitic
t yl 4utl skillful miner.
jjfi:aal gnen to saving Ihe Noma' Tt-ctli ;
to tfcf jiiwiImii .f Aill.'H-ial Trelli on K'.iUUcr,
ii i!J. Silyr ur C:iti:iuous Cuius, and peilert fits In
M it per n know the gre:it folly ami d.injrrr ol en-tru-iini;
lliir oi k to I lie inexperienced, orlo those
living at a iQtiiaJice. April 13, 1471. ly
JJU. J, 21. .SilL'LI,,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Office 1st door above Stroudsburg House,
rcMkiuie 1st door above Post Office.
O.'Sce hour from ) to 12 A. M., from 3 to 5
aud 7 ii 0 P. M. May :j '73-ly.
D
II. CCO. W. JA4JI4SO.Y
PHYSICIAN, SURGEON & ACCOUCHER.
In the old office of Dr. A. Itceve-s Jack.-on,,
re-idciice in WyckofF's building.
STROUDSBURG, PA.
August d, l!?7'2-lt:
jQR. II. J. IMTT12RSO.Y,
OPERATING AND MECHANICAL DEMIST,
Having located in East Stroudsburg, Pa., an
nounces that lie is now prepared to insert arti
jicial teeth in the mo-;t beautiful and life-like
manner. Also, great attention given to filling
and preserving the natural teeth. Teeth ex
tracted without pain by uo of Xilrous Oxide
Gas. All other work incident to the profession
done in the iu;t bkillf'il and approved style.
All work attended to promptly and warranted.
Charges rca.sonable. Patronage of the public
olicited.
OlJk-e in A. W. Loder's new building, op-
KMtc Analoiuiuk House, Kast Stroudsburg,
l July 11,187:! ly.
R. A". I. PECK,
burgeon Dentist.
Announces ill it hi ving just returned from
Denial Collets, he is fully prepared to make
artificial tcctli in the most beautiful and life
like manner, and to fill decayed teeth ac
cording to the most i-nproved method.
Teeth extracted without pain, when de
sire!, by the use of Nitrous Oxide Gas,
which is entirely harmless. Repairing; of
all kiad? n-atly done. All work warranted.
Ctwrjei reasonable.
Office in J. G. Keller new Brick build
ing, Miii.-i S reet, Strotidt-bur";, Pa.
atiT 31-1 f
JAii: II. W.ILTOX,
Attorney at I-atv,
().Ti'- in the bailJin forrjerly occupied
by Ii. M. Uurson, and opposite the trottds
burj B;uik. .Main struct, tftroudsljurr, 1'a.
jani:;-tf
A
?ii;eiicav eioti:i..
The subscriber would inform the public that
lie has leased the house formally kept by Jacob
Knecht, in the Ilorough of Stroudsburg, Pa
and having repainted and refurnished the same,
is prepared to entertain all who may patronize
htm. It is the aim of the proprietor, to furn
ish superior accommodations at moderate rates
and will spare no pains to promote the com
fort of the guests. A liberal share of public
patronage solicited.
April 17, '72-tf. D. L. PISLE.
JIPI,C HOUSE,
HONESDALE, PA.
Most central location ot any Hotel in. town.
11. W. KIPLE & SON,
J'V) M;un street. Proprietors.
January y, 1873. ly.
LACKA1VAXXA HOtSI.
Ori'OSITE THE Df.rOT,
East Stroudsburg, Pa.
B. J. VAN COTT, Proprietor.
The ear contains the cboiest Liquors and
the table is supplied with the best the market
all'ords. Charges moderate. may 3 1872-tf.
fATSOX'S
Mount Vernon House,
117 and 119 North. Second St.
ABOVE ARCH,
PHILADELPHIA.
May 30, 1672- ly.
REV. EDWARD A. WILSON'S (of Wil
liamsburgh, N. Y.) Recipe for CON
BUMPTIONund ASTHMA carefully com
pounded at
HOLLINSHEAD'S DRUG STORE.
OCT Medicines Fresh and Pure.
Nov. 21. i67.j W. HOLLINSI1EAD.
MONROE COUNTY
Mutual Fire Insurance Company.
STROUrSBURG, PA.
CHARTER PERPETUAL.
The By-L'iwa of this Company, and the
regnlai inns governing" insurance have, re
cently been very materially changed, pla
cing it upon a bisi.s equal la that of any
Fire Insurance Company in ihe Slate.
Important amonj thcec changes are the
following-, via :
Policies, instead of being perpetual, are
i.ued for five years.
All property is classified and the rate of
premium is fixed according to the risk of
the property.
Premium note are taken, and all as
sessments ore made on the notes.
Property is insured for not more than
two thirds of its nctuil cash value, and the
full amount of insurance paid in case of loss,
provided the Io?8 be equal to the amount of
insurance.
'Annual assessments" only arc made, ex
cept in cases of heavy ot-s. and where a
special assessment is neceMj.iry.
The Company ia therefore prepared to in
sure property upon terms much more desira
ble thin under the old system.
Applications may be made to any of the
Mauagers, Surveyors, or Secretary.
MANAGERS.
SIotJcI! St-.kcs
J. Depue LeBar,
Riclurd S. Staples,
Silas L. Drake.
Chas. D.lirodhcad,
Robert Buys,
William
Jacob Knecht,
John Edinger.
Francis Hagerman,
Jnc"b Stouffer,
Theo:!orc Schoch,
Thos. W. Rhodes,
Wallace.
STOGDELL STOKES. Preset.
E. B. Drehlr, Secretary and Treasurer.
SURVEYORS.
For Monroe County:
Silts L: Drake, Thos. W. Rhodes,
William Gilbert, J. Depue LeBar,
Geo. G. Shafer, Jacob Stouffer.
For Wayne County:
F. A. Oppelt, Jos L Miller.
For Pike County :
Samuel Detrick.
For Northampton County:
Richard Camden.
For Carbon County:
Samuel Ziegenfus.
0O The Managers meet regularly at
the Secretary's Office in Stroudsburg, on
the first Tuesday of each month, at 2
o'ciock P. M.J May 15,73-tf
GOOD NEWS!
KEW FIR3I AND NEW GOODS?
WAGXER & RHODES
would announce to the public, that they have
taken the tand lately occupied by L. T. Iiibar
& Co., and fitted and stocked it with choice
hues, of
Groceries,
Provisions,
Crockery ware, &c.
l-'rr-rv article in store has been selected with
... , ,
the greatest care, and they can assure custo-
mcrs, tliat no matter ai wnai price wiu, every
thing purchased of them will prove to be of
the best quality.
It is the design to Keep a complete assort
ment in each line, so that all tastes may be
suited.
Whether in want of heavy or fine
Groceries or Provisions, Crockery Ware,
and Glassware, Tobaccoes
or what not. This will be found to be the
place to call. A speciality with them will be
a Iso. 1 brand of
St. Louis Mills Flour
which stands at the head of the list every
where. Call and examine goods. Prices
marked down to the lowest living figure.
CHOICE CLOVER SEED ON HAND.
ALSO:
Oo band and for sale a superior lot of
Ceiling Lath, Hemlock Boards and Scant
ling, Matched Flooring, and White
Pine of all kinds.
II. S. WAGNER.
April 10, lS73-tf.
M. II. RHODES
Found out why people go to McCarty's to
get their furniture, because he buys it at the
Warp l?rnma nf T jp X: Co. and isells it at
an advance of only ttitnty-tuco ami tico
n t'ath per cent. Or in other word, Hocking
Chairs that heTaiys ol Jxsc & Co. U"rougii
the runners he doii't have) for $4,50 he sells
nilurx. . LEE & CO.
Stroudsburg, Aug. 1?, 1870. tf.
A DKOWiXEi) BURGLAR.
AN EXCITING NIGHT.
Burglary by the Wholesale on College
Hill.
Last Friday, about two o'clock, as Offi
cer Ilackett was on his regular patrol on
College. Hill, while passing the residence
of Prof. Cattell, his attention was attract
ed by. a slight noiso, which, on investiga
tion, proved to proceed from a burglar at
his nefarious business. Ilackett entered
the yard, disturbed the thief, who jump
ed irom a lower window almost directly
into the officers am s. Ilackett drew his
revolver, but before he could u.-e it, the
burglar fired at him, and Ilackett theti
delivered two shots at the burglar, who
ran for the gate, which he failed to open.
Ilackett in the meantime sent three more
shots after him, to which the burglar re
sponded with three at Ilackett, and then
jumped the fence and started on the run
for Easton, followed by Ilackett, who
shouted for assistance, using his rattle
and whistle. The burglar, en route down
the hill, threatened Ilackett with death
if he did not desist from his pursuit, but
the officer was not to be intimidated and
continued the exciting chase. At the
foot of the hill he was re inforced by Offi
cers llicker and Ilagerty, and the war was
resumed. Two shots were fired at llick
er, and he kept up a running pistolry on
the desperate malefactor in bis race for
liberty. Dowu the liushkill road they
weut, pursuer and pursued, the latter dis
playing most excellent bottom, worthy a
better cause, but to him it was exercised
fur the retention of a boon as sweet to him
as to them possessed of greater virtues
but ot less endurance. He reached the
Delaware, closely hedged in by his re
lentless enemies, and his cas seemed
hopeless, when with a strategy we cannot
but admire, like the classic hero, 'ac
coutrcd as he was he plunged in," out in
the river he went, and in the gloom of
the night was lost to view. The officers
procured a boat, and searched the river
and watched both shores for his exit, but
without avail. They were baffled, and
the plucky night prowler either escaped
or was drowned. We hardly think the
latter, for one so enduring at running and
so prompt at taking the water would hard
ly be deficient in natation, and he prob
ably floated down the river, landed, and
lives to repent or to furnish a subject, for
the missionaries, or to continue his dan
gerous profession with its limited profits
and targe risks, the reverse of stock com
pany's prospectus's.
Though only one burglar appears in
the transaction he probably had compan
ions. We append a list ol the night's
work.
The house of Frank Michler was first
entered shortly after twelve o'clock. The
family were not asleep and heard the
noise, and their talking probably disturb
cd the burglars, who secured no booty
excepting an opera glass and silver nap
kin riDg. They examioed the contents
of a box which contained nothing that
suited them. The opera glass was found
next morning in the road and returned.
The house of Robert Shouse, Esq , was
next entered. Here they were more sue
cessful, and obtained about $40 worth of
silver ware, and were then frightened off
by the movements of the family, some of
whom happened to get up to attend to a
sick child.
President Cattell's was the next house
operated on. Here they were foiled by
the timely discovery of Officer Ilackett
as before mentioned. Professor Cattell
was absent from home, but Mis. Cattell
states that she thinks there were two other
men who escaped after the departure of
the officer and the one burglar. En
trance was effected to all the houses by
he lower wiujows, which were opeued
with a chicl and small jimmy. Officer
Ilackett deserves praise for his attention
to his night duties, aud for the persist
ency of his attempts to capture the burg
lar, and that neither lie nor his assistants
were successful, was one of those circuni
stances that will occasionally occur in the
gloom of the uight, and the escape, even
with the zeal that a run for liberty would
add to it, was a very unusual piece of good
luck for the pursued man.
1 he losses incurred fortunately were
light, but they will suffice to put families
oo their guard ; and it would be well for
all to make such preparations as would
enable them to give such visitants a warm
reception.
Pistols are good if you know how to
ue them, but in addition, a house dog is
almost an iu fallible protection. The
smaller the better, for while the large dog
may silently wait to attack the intruder,
the alert terrier will make enough noise
to alarm the burglar and arouse the
family.
From the Daily Free Press of Monday
Information having been received early
this uiorniog by the Police Department
that the body ol a tuao had been discover
ed in the Delaware about half a mile be
low the lilack Horse Tavern, John Stotz
er, Deputy Coroner, accompanied by a
number at' our citizens, went thither and
found the body lodged in shallow water
at the head of the Island near that place
It was brought to shore, and, on emaniq
ation, there were found a large number
of skeleton acd other keys, a gold watch
and chain, about $06 in money, a solid
silver napkin ring marked "Little Fan
ny," a pocket knife with blade six inches
long, some old coin0, meerschaum tube
and a small pearl memorandum case on
which were the following memorandums
in pencil : "Union street and Delaware
avenue;" "Lombard;" "Ashboner;"
'Uoopersburg, leftside ;" "Whoever told
you so must not have been very well in
formed." There was a Philadelphia pa
per iu his pocket, but there were no let
ters nor dates by which his name could be
identified. He is evidently from Phil
adclphia and came up on the North Peno.
Road,' and the memorandum indicate that
Coopersborg attracted his profession at
tention. He was a professional burglar
and too prudeut to have any records about
his person by which he could be identi
fied, or others implicated, in case of his
capture. The body was found to contain
a bullctt wound in the fleshy part of the
hip, running directly inward, which
proves that one of the shots took effect,
probably the last, as he was seen to stag
gerjustas he reached the shore of the
river; and Ilackett states that he also
noticed hitu stagger when he fired the
last shot at him as he jumped the fence
at Prof. Cattell's.
Deputy Coroner Stotzcr impanelled the
following jury: Herman Snyder, fore
man, Jacob Jonson, Robert Uurrell,
Charles Solomon, John Ilaggcrfy and
James D. Ilackett, who, in accordance
with the above facts rendered a verdict
"That the deceased was an unknown man;
that he had beem concerned in the Col
lege Hill robbery of last Thursday morn
ing, and that he come to his death from
wounds received from the policemen in
their attempts to capture him, and from
drowning in the Delaware by attempting
to escape in that way."
The napkin ring was taken from Frank
Michler, and is the property of his daugh
ter. We cannot but admire the desperate
bravery of this man who chose death
rather than capture and exposure, but
we should have preferred his arrest and
punishment in the regular way.
His tragic end, however, will not en
courage his kind to select our town for
future operations, or excite their desire
to encounter our vigilant police.
The deceased was a man 5 feet 7 in
ches in height, and weighed about 165
pounds.
PRESIDENT LINCOLN.
Eulogy from Mr. Boutwell.
In his brief address at Grotoo, Mass.,
on Decoration Day, Hon. George S. Bout
well said : "Our gratitude, however, is
not due to the army alone. Many in the
civil service performed great deeds, and
gave their lives to the nation. Lincoln
and Stanton are among those who died
for the country, and it is not easy to name
any who performed more or better work.
Stanton s labors never ceased. He de
nied himself time for rest and food. He
was familiar with the vast theatre of mili
tary operations, and he anticipated the
wants of the army in supplies aud rein
forcements. If he did Dot organize vie
tory, he furnished the means of victory,
and this, I venture to say, is all that ever
has been done or ever can be done by any
except the commander on the field. Re
jecting the language of eulogy, we may pro
perly say that be was the ablest war min
ister of historical times, and that ho was
second only to Mr. Lincoln among civil
ians in the value of his services to the
nation. If we limit our observation to
men trained and serving in civil life ex
clusively, Mr. Lincoln appears to be the
first personage in American history. In
powers of reasoning he rivalled Webster,
and he was endowed with a subtle wit
and laughter-moving irony to which Web
ster had no claim. He was formidable
in debate, and wrote and spoke some of the
best sentences in the English language
His speech at Gettysburg was not an ac
cident nor a temporary inspiration. A
similar power was manifested in bis de
bate with Douglass, aud bis first inaugu
ral address contains paragraphs that rival
the choicest of the language. I quote
one that is marked by the spirit of prop
hecy, and at the same time is the tender
est of the numerous appeals for the Union
with which our literature is filled :
The mystic chords of memory stretching
from every battle field and patriot grave
to every living heart and hearthstone, all
over the broad land, will yet swell the
chorus of the Union, when again touch
ed, as 6urely they will be, by the better
angels of our nature.' Admitting, assert
ing, rather, that his Cabinet was com
posed cf able men, it yet remains for me
to express the opinion that he excelled
all and every one of them in each of the
essential qualities of statesmanship He
was endowed with a power ot foreseeing
sagacity to anticipate future events
touchiog the public welfare. lie had
firm faith in the people in their wisdom,
justice and power. He possessed true
courage lie was never dismayed by
misfortuoe never overcome by disaster.
He had practiced tfisdom that he could
annlv without delav to present questioos.
This, and the quality I first mentioned,
ore tests of statesmanship, without which
there can be no eminence in the auminis
tration ol public affairs. It yet remains
for the world to learn that at one of the
two critical moments in oar foreign af
fairs he corrected and chastened a most
important diplomatic paper with his own
hands, showing supperior clearness of
judgment and great subtlety of genius in
matters outside of his training and expe
rience."
Where Coal is Found in Pennsylvania.
Of the sixty sir counties in Peunsyl
vania, the following twenty-five contain
no coal whatever, viz: Philadelphia,
Delaware, Chester, Montgomery, Ducks
Northampton, Lehigh, Uerks, Lebanon,
Lancaster, York, Adams, Franklin, Cum
berland, Mifflin, Juniata, Perry, Soyder,
Uontour, Monroe, Pike, Wayne,' Susque'
hann and Erie. They are all situated in
the.southeasteru part of the State, except
Erie, which is in the northwestern cor
ner. The Authracite coal of Pennsyl
vania is situated principally in the four
counties of Dauphin, Schuykill, Carbon
and Luzerne ; with smaller quantities, the
borders of the basins in Northumberland
and Columbia counties, and there is semi
authracite coal in Sullivau and a little iu
Wyoming county.
Six counties contain detached Gelds of
semi bituminous coal, Bradford, Lycoru
ing, Tioga, Iluutiugton, Bedford and Ful
ton. The following fwentv teven couu
ties in the western and uorth western part
of the State contain bituminous coal, a
portion of which along the eastern margin
of the field is semi bituminous, viz :
Somerset, Fayette; Greene, Washington,
Westmorelaud, Cambria, Indiana, Arm
strong, Alleghany, Beaver, Lawrence,
Butler, Clarion, Jefferson, Clearfield,
Blair, Centre Clinton, Cameron, Elk,
Forest, Venango, Mercer, Crawford, War
ren, McKean, and Potter, or in all forty
one coal producing counties. Of so vast
a coal region with a very intricate struc
ture, only a general account can be given.
Its total area is 12,222 square miles, be
sides 80 miles in Broad Top, and 472 in
the anthracite fields, making a total of
42,744 square miles of coal of all kinds
in Pennsylvania.
A Doctor's Diary.
A pocket diary has been picked up on
the street, and is now in the finder's pos
session, awaiting its owner. From the
following extracts, it appears the loser
was a medical man :
"Kase 230, Maty An Perdios, Bisnes,
washerwoman. Sickuess in her hcd.
Fisik sum blu pills, soaperifick ; age 52.
Fed me one dollar. 1 kuarter bogus.
Mind get good kuarter and mak her tak
mo fisick.
"Kasc 231. Tutnmes Kriuks, Bisnes,
Nirishman. Lives with Paddy Malouny
what keeps a dray sicknes, di2-g in ribs
and tow black eyes. Fisik to drink my
mixture twict a day, of sasiperily here
and jellup, and fish ile, with asifedity to
make it taste fisiky. Rubed his face with
kart grese liniment, aged 20 years of age
Drinked the mister and woodot pa me
bekaws it tasted nasty, but the mixter'U
work bis innards, I reckon.
Kase 232, Old Misses Boggs. Aint
got no bisness, bat plenty ov money.
Sickness awl a humbug. Gav her sum
ov my celebrated 'Dispsefiorikou wich
she sed drank like cold tea wich it was
too. Must put something in to make her
feel sick and bad. The Old Woman has
got the roks."
Worth
Preserving.
The Medical Home has the following
receipts which may be of value :
A tea made of chestnut leaves
and
the
drank in place ol water, will cure
most obstinate case of dropsy in a
few
days.
A tea made oT ripe or dried whortle
erries and drank iu place of water, is a
sure and speedy cure for scrofulous difii
culty however bad.
A tea made of peach leaves is a cure
or a kidney difficulty.
A plaster made of fresh sl icked lime
and fresh tar, is a sure cure lor a cancer,
which, with its roots, will soon come out
Most smokers likes meerschaum pipes
so well that they wouia mi like to nave
them a little cheaper. Chemistry now
undertakes to supply this desideratum.
nd to make tnceschaums out of potatoes
peeled soaked for about 3G hours in wa
ter, to which eight per cent ot sulphuric
acid has been added, dried in hot saud
for several days on plates of chalk or pla3
ter of paris, and compressed at the same
time. They can then be carved, and will
be an excellent imitation of the meer
schaum."
A New Orleans letter to the New York
Times states that a uew reform party is
being formed in Louisiaua, composed of
the best citizens, which will admit the
equality of all men without regard to race,
color, or previous condition, and accepts
all the United States constitutional amend
menu mid ContMession 1 laws relative
thereto.
A colored preacher in Georgia, in
translating the sentence. 'The harvest
is over, the season is ended, and thy soil
is not saved," put it, "De com has been
cribbed, dcr ain't any more work, and de
debbil is still foohu wid dis community,
A milk company in Chester county,
Penn., u.e 17,500 quarts of milk a week,
making 1,000 pouuds of butter and 3,000
pounds of cheese. Ice cream is to be
made there at wholesale this Summer aud
shipped to Baltimore and Washington.
An Irishman, when be applied for a
license to sell whisky, was asked by a
magistrate if be was of good moral char
acter. He replied, "Faith I don t see
the necessity of a good moral character
to sell whiskey.
Some years ago a luminous lawyer with
considerable swell, but not much brains,
went to Doylestown, Peon., to "locate."
Not long after when the post office was
lull of people, awaiting the distribution
of the mail, a half waited followed step
ped up to Green bag with the remark :
"Mr. S. , they tell me you hav
come here to practice law."
"YTes. sir, I have."
"Well, you'll fined it a first rate loca
tion I hadn't beeu here four months be
fore I was sued ten times !"
"Well," said S. "it seems to me that 1
could live here for years without being
sued at all."
"You bet. People around here are
pretty darned smart, I tell you. You
dou't ketch them suing a feller without
he's good for the costs !"
The N. . Times pitches into Mayor
Havemycr and Gen. Hancock iu this hap
py manner :
The Mayor's rccently-devcloped fond
ness for nominees of questionable charac
ter is being pandered to by people who
ought to know better. We are informed
that one person who is now under indict
ment for presenting false pay rolls to the
Government, was recommended to the
Mayor by Gen. Hancock. That this
nominee was also recommended by a per
son jointly indicted with him will hardly
serve to justify the undignified and un
necessary dabMng in local politics by the
General in command of the Department
of the East.
The romantic devotion of Shann, who
sacrificed himself for Arrah, has been
imitated in real life by a young girl in
London. To save her betrothed, the"
actual culprit, she went into Court aoof
swore that she had stolen the diamond
pin of the abstraction of which he was
accused. This would be called true love
by the sentimentalist ; but ah I'how much
more noble and beautiful and unselfish
was the conduct of the young Philadel
phia lady who sold her new bonnet the
other day that the man she loved might
purch ase a ball ticket ! That now, is a
high minded devotion of which few, very
few women are capable.
m .
A priest the other day, who was exam
ining a confirmation class in the south of
Ireland, asked the question, "What is the
sacrament of matrimony ?" A little girl
at the head of the class answered "Tis a
state of torment into which souls enter tr
prepare them for another and a better
world." "But," said the priest, "the
answer for purgatory." "Put her down,"
says the curate, "put her down to the full
of the clas3." "Lave her oloDe," said
the priest ; "for anything you or I know
to the contrary, she may be perfectly
right."
They have great church privileges iff
San Francisco greatar, we fear, than
they improve. It is said that those who
are too lazy or too dimdent to enter any
ooe of the churches on Sunday may stand
anywhere within a mile of his pulpit and
hear Dr. Cox expound the gospel to his-
congregation, while in their offices, one or
two blocks off, San Francisco editors can
peruse their exchanges and hear the Doc
tor preach at the same time, such a ner-
ct Boanerges is thid reverend gentle
man.
A mamma iu the rural districts lately
gives her five-year-old hopeful an outfit of
fish tackle, t-oon she heard a shout from
Willie, and running out found one of her.
test hens fast winding up the line in her
crop, whether the hook had already pre
ceeded it. Willie, observing the troubled
look of his mother, ouietlv remarked :
Don't worry, mother. I gues3 she will
stop when she get to the pole."
Tho "Iudia rubber bustle" is
again-
heard from. This time it was a IJrnok
lyn young lady, who was thrown from her
carriage, oho made ninety seven and a
half bounces, in all, and was fiually, res
cued, by a hook and ladder company.
from the top of a telegraph pole, where
she had stuck in attempting to complete
the ninety eighth bounce.
An Irishman in Bridgeport Conn., who
was told that hi9 employer s store was
burned down, exclaimed. "Well, I can't
see bow that can be, when I have the key
in my pockets.
Some men
go about
the
world with
their hands in their pockets. That is bet
ter, though, than if they went about with
their hands in other people's pockets.
.
It is a little singular how much valuable
time a man will take up in studying a
post mark of letter to see where it coues
from when he can open the letter and
find out at once.
A revivalist asked an African if he bad
found the Lord. "Golly," 6aid Sambo,
"an do Lord lost ?"
In Detroit, recently, a girl was found
dead kneeling at her bedside, in the at
titudo of prayer.
-
A doctor sent iu a bill to a widow that
rau thus : "To curiug busbaud till he
died "
.
President Grant's mail is said to foot
up about 700 daily letters.
The real "Home Insurance Company
A gojj wife.
nr