Scuotcb to Politics, Citctatuvc, Agriculture, Science, illoralitij, nub cncrol Sntdligcucc. VOL. SO. STMIOUD3BURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., JANUARY 30, 1873. NO. 38, Published by Tlieod ore Schoch. TSUMS -Two .loli-irs a yeirin advance nd if not p:tM nei'ireine mill or me year, two dollars and fifty cents will be ch:irp:. No ier lisco iiiniie J until all arrearages are paid, except xl the nrtitti o the Elitor. iCr A. Ueriiscments of me square of (eight lines) or one or mre lllet i fis 9 1 oil.. Kae.tl lilUltlollal Hinrtiuiv, 59 cents. Longer ones in proportion. jorc IMU.ITIKU, or AU KINDS, iieirtcd in "hc tostaet-t siv'e of the Art, and on the most r4saatI terms. DE. J.LANTZ, Surgeon arul Mechanical Dentist, Still h:s Ins office n Main Street, in the recotid tory f Ur. S. Wiiltoa's Strict bniiiliuc, ncittlv op Mlc'the strouclslmrg House, and lie tf..UTs'luniK(f that I'f eijUlfen yeitis runsUut ra-Ui-e Jid tK nnut irnet and careful avtcntt. n to nil matters pertaining t his proffision, llial le i fully able to perform ( I operations u l he dental line in the inoftoateful, t-utie-f ijt an lkilitil manner. S;n:(-i;il attention given to saving the Natura' Tectlj ; l, to t'ne iiieriiii of Artificial Teeth on Rubber, i..U, Silver or I'-tiitiuuuus Gums, and pertect ftls 1m .all ca.es insured. Most persons know ihc great f-dly and danger ot en trusting their work to the inexperienced, or to those living at a tiislamre. April 13, 1871. I v D K. GEO.'W. JACIiSOX PHYSICIAN, SURGEON & ACCOUCHER. In the old office of Dr. A. Reeves Jackton, residence in Wyckoff 's building. STROUDSBURG, PA. Jiuuiist 8, 1872-tf. OPERATING AM MCHAMCAL DEMIST, H iving located in East Stroudsburg, Pa., an notuvces that he is now prepared to insert arti ici a I teeth in the most beautiful and life-like manner. Also, great attention given to filling and preserving the natural. teeth. Teeth ex tracted without-pain by use v( Nitrous Oxide i Jaw." AH other work incident to the profession done in the most skillful and approved style. All work attended to promptly and warranted. Charges reasonable. Patronage of the public solicited. Office in A. XV. Loder's new building, op posite Analomink House, East JStrotidsburg, 1'a.l July 11, 1872 ly. DR. N. L. PECK, Surgeon Dentist, Announces ih it having just returned from Dental Co!Iegs, he is fully prepared lo make artificial teetu in the most beautiful and liie 1 ike manner, and 10 fili decayed teeth ac cording to the tnot i-nprcved melhoJ. TVeili ex'ract -d without pain, when dc eireJ, by the use of Nitrous Oxide Gas, which is entirely harmless-. Repairing ol all kinds neatly done. All work warranted. Charges reasonable. Office in J. CI. Keller's new Brick build ing. Main S'reet, Stroudsburg, Pa. auj31-if DR. C. O. IIOFFJIAX, M. U. Would respectfully announce to the public that he has removed his office from UaUan 1 to Canadensis, Monroe County, Pa. Trusting that many years of consecutive practice of -Medicine and -Surgery will Lc a s tffieient guarantee for the public confidence. February 25, 1870. tf. Ja.izes u; WALTO, Atlorney at Law, Office in the. building formerly, occupied by L. M. IJurson, and opposite the St muds ill rg Dank, Main street, Stroud.sburg, Pa. jan!3-tf. Jiiee isorsE, HONESDALE, PA. Must central location of any Hotel in town. 11. XV. KIPLE A: SON, Main .street. Proprietors. January , 173. 13-. -Ij OProsITK T1IK DKPOT, 33a st Srroudsburg, Pa. 13. J. VAX COTT, Proprietor. The Bin contains the choiest Liquors and the table is supplied with the best the market affords. Charges moderate. may 3 1872-tf. ? T SSount Vci jiUUUl ? CI IlUil 117 and 119 Korth Second St. AEOVK ARCH, PHILADELPHIA. May 30, 1672- ly. B AKTOXSV1ZJLI2 IIOTEI. litnged hands, and been throughly ovcrliaulcd nd repaired, will reopen, for the reception of of quests on Tuesday, May 27th. The public will always find this house a de sirable place of resort. "Every department will lc managed in the best possible .manner. The 'ble will be supplied with the best the Market affords, and comioisures will always find none iutthe best wines and liquors at the bar. Good stabling beloning to the Hotel, will be fmd at all times under the care of careful and obliging attandants. 23, 1872. ANTHONY II. KOEMKK. Found out wh3r people go to McCarty's to ?fct their fumiture, !jecauK5 he buys it at the Ware ltoouis of Ixe & Co. and sells it at n Kdvance of only tiw.nty-tiro ami tico t'hfh jirr ant. Or in other words, Rocking Chairs that he buys of Jx3e & Co. (through the runners he don' t have) for $4,&0-he sells for $5,50. Pays him to buy ome foof Fur "'tun. LKE & CO. Stroudsburg, Aug. 18, 1870. tf. c AX YOU TELL WHY IT IS that when any one comes tobtrotids- "rp to buy Furniture, they always inquire fcrMeCartys Furniture Store! 6eot. 26 Inaugural Address of ' Gov. Hartranft Gentlemen of the Senate and Iloaee of Representatives,, and Fellow citizens : Permit me, through you, to tender my heartfelt thanks to the people of this Commonwealth for their partiality in selecting me as their Chief Magistrate. In obedience to law I have appeared before you to pledge mj fidelity to the Constitution. Its obligations and the re pponsibilities it imposes are, I hope, fully realized. In the administration of pub lie aftairs it is my ' earnest prayer that I may be guided ; by Divine wisdom; and that, all tny actious may reflect the pco ple8 will. My predecessor presented in his annual messa-ie his recommendation?, and much valuable information, so fully and so well that it appears unnecessary . to enter into details. My views are in accord with the geueral policy of the State administration for the past lew years, ulthough I believe some changes might be for the public good, and to these I shall briefly allude. Having been closely connected with the finances of the State since lSO'o", I speak knowingly when I s.iy that the reveuues have been faithfully collected : extrava gant appropriations have been avoided : tazction has been equalized by the repeal of the most burdensome taxes; and by strict ecouomy aud good management ihc public debt has been largely reduced The poiicr of paying off the entire in debtedoess of the State is, I believe, fully iudotsed by the tax-payers, and it shail be my aim to adhere to that policy. The public debt, however, decreasing while the revenues are increasing, itoc curs to me that a further reduction of the latter should be made during the current session of the Legislature, The increase in the value of bur real estate and the products of our manufactories, the steady development of our resources, and the ex pansioo o our railway system, are rapid ly enriching our people. If we measure the aggregate of our wealth and its growth upon the basis of the late census, we can readily understand how a lighter tax ioi posed upon tbe present taxed property will meet all our necessities in the future, provide an ample fund for the liquidation of our debt, and give a decided impulse to the useful enterprises thus relieved. I sincerely trust, however, that in any at tempt to lessen the burdens of taxation, the Legislature will exercise a wise dis tretion, and properly discriminate in fa vor of our industtial interests. In every part of this Commonwealth are found lieh deposits of miuerals. To make thetn available aud productive should be our earnest aim, and shall re ceive a large share of my attention. It can alone be done by the intelligent em plojment of labor and capital. This is an object of immense iuteiest, andean best be subserved by first providing the highest possible knowledge of the charac ter and location of the most valuable minerals. Labor cau be made invit'iDg by making it remunerative. Its profits must depeud largely upon the measure of protection afforded by Congress to our home industiics. a qucstiou which may safely be committed to our Representa tives in the Xatioual Legislature. Capital is the water for the wheel, and should be abundant, aud the rates of in tcrest should be easy for active and whole some enterprise, and whatever legislation w ill best serve this end should receive general support. Money will always re ceive the highest rates, the security be iog the same; and for that reason it now gravitates to neighboring States, where the legal rates s:re lets than our own. If we cannot remove our restrictions, and make money as free as aoy other com modity, at least let us permit the same rate as allowed by other States, aud there by retaiu it withiu our borders. It will be my pleasure, as it is my du ty, to have a watchlul care over the school system of our State. Xo part of our gov eromeotal policy should command the employment of more wisdom than that which is to promote the instruction of our youth. It is a source of pride and satisfaction that our people contribute so freely to an object so worthy as our schools, and the report of the supcriutend ent of common schools must convince every reader ol the happy results accru iog from the judicious management of our educational system. Rut while the doors of our schools are opened wide to every one. it is sad to think that there are seventy five thousand children in the State who do not, whether prevented by the necessities of their parents, or other wise, attend aod receive the blessed piivi leges of these schools. This is a matter of grave import, and exacts of us all, pco pie and Legislature alike, earnest and thoughtful consideration. Io this connection, let me say a word iu regard to a subject that has olten engag ed my thoughts, and to which I invoke "the attention of our law makers. Xo part of our system of education has secured so universal commendation as that which is embraced in ihe circle of instruction of those who were made orphans by the casualties of war. The helpless condition of these little oues touchiugly appealed to the hearts of our people, aod the re ipoose was the establishment of the or phans' schools that are now the pride of our State. Rut in resecuiog these chil dren from destitution, aod providing (or their education until they had attained the age of 16 years, have we filled the measure of our duty to them? Thrown out into the world to do battle with life's trials at an age peculiarly dan gerous to youth, does not common hu manity require that the State should maintain its guardianship of these chil dren until their habits are somewhat settled and. they have acquired the ability to earn their own livelihood ? The establishment of industrious schools, wherein useful trades may be taught, seems to promise the easiest and best solution of this problem. It is highly important that in times of insurcctiou and riot there should be at command a good and efficient force of militia to assist the civil power to protect property and maintain its authority. To create such a force it seems absolutely ne tessary that the State must extend its aid iu a more substantial way to those who enlist iu her service. The fines for the non peiformauce of militiaduty are obnox ious to many of our best citizens, and yield at best but a slender income, and that, too, 00 a wrong basis, for property and not the individual should be taxed. The military should be well distributed throughout the State, and the number of companies limited, and within the limit, to make them efficient, every company accepted, when found to be up to the pro per standard of oumbers, drill aod discip line, should receive directly from the pub lic treasury at least 500 per anuum. The fire aud the life insurance com panies are making an effort to secure uni form legislation in all the States, and the States having a lanze home interest in insurance have been the first to adopt that principle. To impose heavy fees aud , taxes upon insurauce companies iucor porated io other States, and doing bust ness in this, reacts upon the home com panies by reason of the reciprocal laws of those States. If it is deemed desirable to. protect and foster the home iusurance interest, already too long neglected, let uniform laws be enacted. To me it seems this interest is of sufficicut importance to warrant the temporary loss of a portion of the revenue now received from the for eign companies. The revenue from our own companies will increase by reason of their enlarged business, aod we will thus be compensated for such temporary loss The necessity for immediate action on the part of our people to insure the sue cess of the Centenuial Exhibitions must be realized by every thinking man. Its failure will be to our lasting shame its success must redound to the honor and permaneut benefit of the Commonwealth. Located iu our metropolis, which is fast moving to the front of the manufacturing cities of the world, affording an oppor tunity to display the piolucts and resour ces of our State, and opening to foreigners new channels of information as to our character and enterprses, it certainly is the imperative duty of every citizen who loves his State to lend his countenance aud support to this great exhibition. The diguity and good name of the Common wealth are at stake. Let us not forfeit these by a lack of public spirit, or by mis taken ecouomy. Any proper plan the Legislature may see fit to adopt to aid this national ; undertaking shall receive the hearty concurrence of the Executive. The subject of constitutional reform is now occupying a large share of public attention. Opinions are various as to its propriety or necessity, as the views of men are conservative or progressive. There is now, however, in session in Phil adclphia a convention of respectable and honorable gentlemen, fresh from the peo pie, and authorized by them to revise the Constitution. To these gentlemen we confidently refer these questions of con stitutional reform, in the belief that out of their combined integrity and wisdom will spring such measures as will best con duce to our safety, happiness aod pros perity. There is one paramount and growing evil, however, to which, by my oath as your Executive aud my sense of duty as a citizen, I am constrained to ask your serious attention. I allude to special le gislation or the abuse of legislative pow er, to further particular local and private ends to the exclusion of public business. I cannot condemn this evil in language too strong, and it seems but the part of common sense that some positive restric tion be put upon legislation that will conffne it to public objects, and make its enactments uniform and geueral. There is another subject to which I may be permitted to advert, because it concerns one of my most important func tions. I refer to the pardoning power. The exercise of this power rests excul sively within the discretion aod con science of the Executive ; and when we consider the importunities of the friends of a coudemned man, aud their natural inclination to use every influence to ob fain a pardon, it must be conceded that tliis power is a trying and dangerous one with which to invest any individual. Aoy provisiou that would relievo the con science and divide the responsibility of the exercise of this power must surely commend itsolf to good senso of our people. . There is a popular demand, too, that the sinking fund, containing bonds that represent the proceeds of the sale of the public works, and which are applicable alone to the payment of the public debt, shall be kept sacred for the purpose to which it is dedicated, and that the safe guards of this fund shall be made so strong as to protect it from every en croachment, however ingeniously planned or powerfully supported. To this de mand the Constitutional Convention will doubtless respond ; and for myself I may be permitted to say that no legislation iru pairing to security of this fund, or chang iog its character, ever can receive my sanction. ' . In view of the prospect that the Legis lature will, after this season, be divested of its power to legislate for special objects, a popular apprehension is prevailing that interested parties will push their schemes at this juncture, and make extraordinary efforts to control legislation. I deem it my duty lo impress upon the Legislature the necessity of examining with more than ordinary care every measure sub mitted for their consideration. Too much praise cannot be accorded to the honorable and humane gentlemen who constitute the Roard of Public Charities for their valuable services, gratuitously bestowed, in supervising the manifold and important public trusts the State has con fided to their care. I take great pleasure io inviting the attention of the Legisla ture to the suggestions and work of this excellent board, and shall unite in any plan that will help these gentlemeu to accomplish their beneficeut designs. We have great cause for thankfulness, my fellow citizens. When we contem plate the happy and prosperous coudition of our country. Recuperating rapidly from the ravages and waste of our great civil war, she is moving forward to a new era of progress and development. And in this march to a higher destiny in which all the States are uuited, Pennsylvania should have a place in the .van, a posi tion to which she is entitled by the intel ligence and character of her citizens, the magnitude of her resources, the extent of her industrial interests, and the grand re cord of her patriotism. To rnaiutaio thi position for our proud old Commonwealth will be the sonstaut endeavor of yonr Executive, and to strengthen his arm and enlarge his understanding, he asks the support and counsel of all good citizens, and humbly implores the aid and guid ance of Uitn who is the Supreme Ruler Upon the conclusion of the address there followed cheers, the enthusiasm of which bespoke the feelings of those as sembled. Advice to the Girls. We have charity for fast girls. We have often found them geocrous aod warm hearted, and are fully reay to be lieve that their disreagard for conven tionalies is often the bolduess of innocence For example, iu some families the chain ber of the sister is the. resort of the bro ther iu the first place ; then the cousin who is almost a brother, and then of the brother's intimate friend, who is treated as one of the family. When this free style of living is transferred from the shadow of the family to the apartmeuts of a crowded hotel or boardiug house, it gives occasion for much free speaking and lree thinking for a style of judg meut that olteu does the yound girl great injustice. We have said that out Americans had their faults. The want of conventional limits of propriety between the sexes is one of them. The young French girl is kept secluded, and never suffered to see a gentleman uuwatched. In Ameriea, from early childhood, little giils and boys grow up together and. on the whole, it is best they should. Rut, in order that this liberty should produce good effects, parents and guradiaus should incessantly teach certain limits of propriety. There are certain places, times and modes of iu tercourse that are proper places, times and modes. There are certain other places, times and modes that are itu proper, aud it ought to be a part of the early traiuing of every girl to teach her this. Every approach on the part of a young girl to any personal familiarity with a young man, such as she might most innocently take with another girl, exposes her to misconstruction which it was the duty of her mother to prevcut by timely warming. A favorite author has said that such personal advances, ou the part of women, were "immoralities of mauner," even where the intention was innocent. So girls, take care respect yourselves re spect your sex, and do not give the enemy cause to speak reproachfully. Listen all of you, to whate a man says. It is out of some old fashioned Father's Legacy or some such antiquated book. lie says: "A fine woman has a power over us which she very little dreams, but a little too near acquaintance often dissolves the illusion and converts the angel iuto a very ordinary girl " Let a mother tell you, girls, that mothers, when they send their good into the great world and its temptations, hope much for them from the influence of good women. Did you ever think of this when you tell young men that you dote 00 smoking ; when you urge wine upon them at parties '( Some mother, some sister, may wish that you would lead her son or brother to nobler, purer conceptions of life. Ought not some higher motive to govern your intercourse with the young men of your acquaintance than merely the desire to fasten their admiration on yourself to please them at any and every hazard ? Ha sure that a young man who is pleased through his lower nature, because you encourage his indolent and self indulgent habits, and take part with bis least elevat ed impulses, will think of you by and by only as a part of something unworthy, which his better self will eeek to out grow. Mrs. II. IS. Stowe. The Recent Terrible Snow-Storm in the North-West. The snow storm which fell upon the in habitants of Miouesota and other north western portions of our country week be lore last, was the most terribly severe one ever remembered. The papers from that section of country are filled with heart rending details of the destruction of lile caused thereby. A despatch from St. Paul, dated January 15th, says : Reports received today iucrease the deaths by the late storm, as follosvs : Thir teen in the vicinity of Lake Iliusley, six miles from Lake Crystal ; six school chil dren, who had been attending school be tween Fort Ridgway and Heaver Falls ; a man named Wolverton, across the river from Maokato. Five more cases are re ported from Alexandria, making "I'l in all. A despatch from Falls reports seven more bodies found, and estimates that within a radius of twenty five miles the victims will reach fifty. A Germau named Ludicker, of Hastings, and his team perished a few miles from this city. Oae of the most saddest cases reported, an 1 oue illustrating the fearful nature-of the storm, came from Xew Ulm, on Turs day r. i. ; a man whose wife was sick started for Xew Ulm lor a doctor, leav ing her alone at home Xo doctor would venture out in the storm, but one promis ed to go next day. The man started back, aud was frozen to death when half way home. Xext day when the doctor reached the house he found the woman had given birth to a child aud both had lrozeu to death. A commercial traveler in this city, who was caught in the storm, near Xew Ulm. and witnessed its terrible severity, gives it as his opinion that it has resulted iu greater loss of life, and greater damage to the State than did the Sioux massacre of Aouther despatch from Winona, bear ing the same date, says : The body of a man frozen to death was picked up in a garden on the south side of the river at Medalia on Thursday. lie evideutly lo.st himself, was overcome by exhaustion aud cold and Had dowu and died. A despatch from Lincoln station, on the St. Paul aud Sioux City road, on Sunday, says: Mr. R. Kirk started for the timber to procure a load of wood His cattle were frozen, but he was missing. Later Mr. Kirk was found near Garden City, aloug the Sioux City road, on Saturday dead. The number frozen west of Mankato foots up twenty six, as follows : Lake Crystal, 2 ; Medalia, 5 ; St. James, 10 ; Mountain Like, 2; Windom3; Heron Lake aud Worthington, 3 These are given as reliable. All the above named points report a number of persons still missing. A report was received at Mankato, on Monday night, from Miunesi ti Falls, which says that eleven persons had been found frozen to death. Seven persons three women, two men and children were found in a sleigh, dead. A report from Redwood Falls says six persons were frozen to death, as far as heard from, in that neighberhood. A party consisting of four person? a man, wife, child and nephew started from Redwood to go to Marshall on Tues d.iy, but when within a mile and a half of Marshall they were overtaken by the storm ami lost their way. The nephew froze to death. On Wednesday rftoruoou ihe child died in its mother's arms. On Mondav morning, wheh found, the man's legs and aims were badly frozen, aod the woman had noc hand frozen. Counterfeit Greenbacks. There are now in circulation two sets of counterfeit five dollar United States notes The first of these bogus green backs is poorly engraved on tolerably good paper, and purports to be Xo US 12 The statue of "America," on the left hand side of the note, is faintly and badly executed, as is also the medallion por trait in" the lower rit;ht hand corner The line engraving on the back is iu distinct, and the curved lines weak and wavering. The second counterfeit is badly printed on wretched p-per, is numbered 31,720, and the engraving is exceedingly coarse and scratchy. Peter son's Detector so describes them. Home Gardening. The following condensed system of gardening is recommended by a contem porary for the study of ladies: ''Make your bed in the morning; sew buttons on your busbaud s shut; do not rake any grievances ; protect the voung ami tender branches of your family ; plant a smile 'iff good temper on your face, and carefully root all angry feelings, and expect a trood crop of happiness." FELONS. A bone felon is a bad thing, and there are numerous so called remedies lor ft Doubtless an application which is sue cessful in one case may, from some un known cause, fail in another. An ex change says that a sure cure is dry rock salt, pounded and mixed with spirits of turpentine. Put the mixture in a cloth, and wrap around the part affected, and change when it gets dry. This is said to kill the folon in twenty lour hours. Stokes Convicted. Contrary to all expectation the Xew York jury in Stokes-Fisk case has declar ed that murder is murder. It may be ad mitted that Fisk was one of the worst of men, ns he doubtless was, but that gave to Stokes no license to lie in wait for him as a cowardly asassin. in order to shook him dowu in satisfaction of his private resentments This is what Stokes did, and, although it is clearly murder in the first, degree, and nothing else, the general expectation was that the jury would obstinately "disagree." or find a verdict of manslaughter of soaie inferior grade. Considering all the surroundings of the case, this jury has discharged its duty to merit stroug approbation. He was sentenced to be hung on Fri day, the 28th day of February next. Death of Napoleon. London', Jan. 9 1:30 p. m Xapo leon died at Chiselhurst at forty-five' minutes past ten o'clock this morning. The ex Emperor's death was caused by' embolism, aud it was so sudden that the last sacrament of the Roman Catholic Church could not be administered, the priest arriving after the Emperor had expired. This story is told of a father who was one evening teaching his little boy to recite his Suuday school lesson. It was from the fourteenth chaper of Matthew; wherein is related the parable of a mali cious individual who went about sowing;' tares. "What U a tare? Tell me, my son, what a tare is." asked the auxious parent. "You had 'em I" "Johnny, what' do you mean V asked the father, open ing his eyes rather wide. "What, last week, when you didn't come home io three days," said Johuny, "I heard moth er tell Aunt Susan you were on a tare." Johnny was immediately sent to bed. Papas are romantic, it must be confers ed. One of thena in Daveport, Iowa, with three marriageable daughters, has posted the following notice over his bell pullV "Wood, SG a cord; coal, 30 cents a bushel ; gas dear and bad. Parties stay ing alter 1) o'clock wiU please settle quarterly. X R A reduction made alter engagrments and the full amount added to the marriage portion." Rut there are a great many lovers ardent enough to dispene with a vulgar coal fire altogether, aud who would be per fectly willing to carry 00 the courting in. the back yard with the thermometer at f, if unable to pay papa's prices. Lad ies who are annoyed by the soiled paper collars of the men folks, who usually leave them lying around loose, or tuck them behind the looking glas-, bureau,, or trunk, will be pleased to learn thraS those soiled collars make superb lighters. A strip one quarter of an iuch wide, one half the length of the collar, cau be carried into half a dozen rooms and light the gas, or a lamp, in each room, thus saving time and matches, and converting those cast off articles into cotnethiug useful. From a summary of affairs in Texas-, published io the Houston Union, it ap pears that during the last two y6ar two. thousand free schools have been put in operatiou, over six huudred miles of rail road have been constructed, and the im migration has beeu larger than auy six preceding years. Pubiic and private enterprises have flourished, and a large amount of capital ,has been invested iu the State. The sharpest so far this month is the Troy girl who makes her unsuspecting lather the daily bearer of sweet missives to a clerk in bis office, who has been for bidden to visit his employer's house She pins the letter in the old man's cloak, aud wheu he reaches the office and throws off the garment the clerk gets it aud responds by the same carrier. P. T. Rarnuni, in a speech in Xew York the other night, said that he was used to being burned out, and that he was "enabled to invest another half million of dollars without disturbing his bunk accuuut or injuring the prospects of bis children inheriting a fortune they never earned. The annual sale by auction of the pews in Rev. Henry Ward Reecher's church, Hrooklyu, took place recently. The total amount of rent aud premium, was SS0, 230, an increase of 8350 from last year. Thirty of the pews sold for 300 and up wards each. A gentleman at Lancaster, Pa has a horse that takes his children to school in the morning, retiming home driverless, aud at night returns lor them in the same' way, rubbing his nose against the window paue to indicate his presence. Michigan farmers drive into town with red hot stoves iu the rear end of their sleighs. A WeMern pie eater eat sixteen pies in seventeen minutes. A Minnesota beau at a party lent his girl his false teeth to crack uuti. A Xew Albany, lud , man is the proud possessor of 12 sous aud 15 dauhters. 1 n irsr