JL jljLjIjj 1 ft 1 3 M Scuoicu ta I3o!itif0, itcvatuvc, Agriculture, Sricucc, illoraliln, auu cncral Suicliignuc. VOL. 29. STROUJJSBUKG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., AUGUST 17, 1871. NO. 17. Published by Theodore Schoclu TEIOf 5 Two itolI.ir. a year in advance and if not panl befoie the en.t f t!ie ye;ir, two dollars and fifty 'emit will be charged. So n:er clisconiiiiiicd until all arrearages are paid, ttreot at Hp lI,,n ol the Kditor. rxjTA lvertiscinents of one square of (eight line?) or rs one or three insertions $1 50. Eac.li additional ne"iliii, 5" cents. Longer ones in proportion. JOB PRIXTIXG, OF ALL KINDS, Executed in the liishest stylo of the Art, and on the iihk-1 reasonable terms. DR. J.LANTZ, Surgeon anil Mechanical Dentist, tillhas his office on Main Street, in the second Hry of lr. S. Walton's brick building, neatly oppo- tint lV eisliuen veais constant practice and the moat f'rnet and careful attention to all matters pertaining to Ins proft'SMon, that he is lullynDie to perlorm all operations in the dental line in the most careful, taste ful and skillful manner. Special attention given to saving the Natural Teeth ; !. t the insertion of Artificial Teeth on Rubber, ti ld. Silver or rontiimous Gums, and perlect fits in ail ces insured. Most persons know the great folly and danger ol en trusting their work to the inexperienced, or to those liring at a distance. April 13, IS71. ly DR. N. L. PECK, Surgeon Dentist, Announces that ha vinjr just returned from Dental Collcgs, he is fully prepared to make nriificial teeth in the most beautiful and life like manner, and lo fill decayed teeth ac cording to the most improved method. Teeth extracted without pain, when de-. ired, by the use of Nitruus Oxide Gas, which is entirely harmless. Repairing of all kinds neatly done. All work warranted. Charges reasonable. Office in J. J. Keller's new Rrick build in;:, Main Si reel, Stroudsburg, Fa. February '23, 1571. Gin. jyi. gko. w.jack"son Physician, Surgeon & ccoucher. Office, next to Smith's store, residence Krepgey's Hotel. EAST STROUDSBURG, Pa. June 3, 1670. tf. Dit. c. o. iiofimi.ix, 3i. i. Would respectfully announce to the public that he has removed his office from Oakland to Canadensis. Monroe County, Fa. Trusting that many years of consecutive practice of Medicine and Surgery will be a MifiVient inmuaiitec for the public confidence. Fcbruarv '2o, ISTU. tf. J ASICS IS. W4LT(.V, Attorney ;it Iaiv, Office in second story of new buildinir, near ly opposite the Washington Hotel, Main st. Stroudsburir, Fa. January F5, 170. tf. HOLM ES. Jit. . Attorney a( L:nv, STROUDSBURG, PA. Office, on Main Street, 5 doors above the Stroudsbur; House, and opposite fluster's clothing store. (-Business of all kinds attended to with promptness and fidelity. May G, 1 869. if. IOVT you know lliut J. II. J McCarly is the only Undertaker in Stroudsburg who understands his business! If not. attend a Funeral managed by any other Undertaker in town, and you will see the proof of the fact. Sept. 16, '67 REV. EDWARD A. WILSON'S (of Wil-liam-burgb, N. Y.) Recipe for CON SUMPTION and ASTHMA carefully com pounded at HOLLINSHEAD'S DRUG STORE. 07" Medicines Fresh'and Pure. Nov. 21. 1SG7. W. HOLLINSHEAD. K r KLLEllS V LLLE HOTEL. The undersigned having purchased tlie above veil known and popular Hotel Proper ty, would respectfully iuibriii the travelling public that he has ixfurnihed and fitted up the Hotel in the best style. A handsome Rar. with choice Liquors and Segars, iwjlitc attendants and moderate charsres. i. J. VAN COTT, Sep. 20, 1870. tf. Proprietor. KOCKAFKLLOW, DEALER IN Kcady-JIade Clothing, Gents Fur nishing Goods, Hats & Caps, Boots & Shoes, &c. EAST STROUDSBURG, PA. (Near the Depot.) The public are invited to call and exam ine goods. Prices moderate. May 6, 18G9. tf. Fresh ground Nova Scotia PLASTER, nt Stokes' Mills. HEMLOCK BOARDS, FENCING, SHINGLES, LATH, PA LING, and POSTS, cheap. FLOUR and FEED constantly on hand. Will exchange Lumber and Plaster for Grain or pay the highest market price. t BLACKSMITH SHOP just opened by C. Stone, an experienced workman. Public trade solicited. N. S. WVCKOFP. Mokes' Mills, pd., April 20, 1S71. THE STROUDSBURG Passenger R. W. Co. 7 per cent. Bonds. Interest payable in January and April. I'or sale Bank. at the Monroe County March 1G: 171. Til OS. V. BELL, . Treasurer. UOXROE C0W1T STKOUDSBlKi;, PA. ON THE FIRST OF APRIL, 1671, THIS BAJSTIs: will commence paying Interest on DAILY DEPOSITS, t ft r al lne ral 01 Four Icr Cent SUBJECT TO CHECK AT SIGHT. Accounts rendered, and interest credited monthly. SEVEN" PER CENT INTEREST PAID on permanent deposits, as heretofore. Checks on all parts of the Country COLLECTED Free ofCost tor Depositors. DRAFTS FOR SALE ON England and Ireland. All deposits in this Bank arc secured by Bond, with sccuricty to Thos. M. Mcllha ney, Trustee, in trust for Depositors, which bond is recorded in the proper office. THOS. A. BELL, Cashier. March 10, 1871. ly. p S. WILLIAMS, Watchmaker & Jeweler, MAIN ST, STOUDSBURG, PA. Located in corner building, third door be low the Jeffersnniati office. Room handsome 'y fitted up, and heavily stocked with the fi nest assortment of Clocks, Watches, Jewelry, Jewelers No tions, &c, ever ofiVred in this section of counltjr. A full assortment of Spectacles, of the best quality, and suited to all ages, always on sale. Silver-ware, and Silver Plated ware, al ways on hand at manufacturers prices. 0C?R;Pa'rmg neatly executed, and char ges extremely moderate. Calls from the public respectfully soliciied. Suie Agent for the celebrated Diamond Spectacles. November 5th, 1SG3 ly. NEW STORE --.and:- MEW .GOODS T REDUCED PRICKS ! DARIUS DREHER, begs leave to an nounce to his friends and and to the pub lic generally, that he has just received a general assortment of Dry Goods, Amotions, Dress Trimmings, AND MIL L IXKli Y GOODS conpisting, in part of the following1 desirable articles, viz. : Calicoes, Loicns, French Clilntzs, Children's Dress Goods, WorJsed Edgings, Parasols, Zephers, Shetland Wools, Shetland Wool Shaicls, Delaines, Muslins, White Dress Goods, Insert tugs, Lady's and Children's Saclcs Flannel and Cloth, Lady's, Misses and Men's Hoes, Gloves and Collars, Mourning Goods, . Shroudings, t'C, oc, Goods shown with pleasure. ' Quicks sales and small profits" at the old and well known Millinery Stand of F. A. DREHER. The Millinery business will be carried on as usual by Mrs. Dreiier. Patronage respectly solicited. DARIUS DREIIER. April 26, 18GG. NEW FIRM. The undersigned baring formed a co-partnership, under the firm name of Burt & Her zg, for the purpose of carrying on the Brew ing business, at East Stroudsburffi Pa., would respectfully inform the public that iney win be able, all limes, to furnish to or der, a pure article of ALE at short notice. Their stock of material be ing the best the City affords, none but the purest and best malt liquors will be permit ted to leave their establishment. They re spectfully solicit the patronage of the pub lic. JOHN BURT, JACOB F. HERZOG. East Stroudsburg, Pa. Dec. 1, 1870. AN YOU TJCr.L. WHY IT IS that when any one comes to Stroudsburg- to buy Furniture, they always inquier tor McCarty3 Furniture Store! Seut. 2G. artimeus Willard, one of the early settlers of Egrcmont, Mass., was a ready wit, a keen satirist, and a natural poet. He was one day at Lenox during session of Country Court, and the lawyers there were much diverted with his political effusions aDd sallies of wit. One of the lawyers said to him, f Come, Bafty, and take dinner with us; it sha'nt cost yoa anything." He consented, and ac companied the lawyers. Ouo said to him, -Marty, we want you to ask a blessinr?." Iiarty, who made no pretension to religion, said, "Well, if I do I hope you will be have as men should on such an occasion. and not make a mock of it ; and I want some one to return thanks." One was accordingly appointed. All stood up around the table, and liarty began thus : Lord of the climes, Haste on the times When death makes lawyers civil : Lord, stop their clack, And send them back Unto their father devil. Don't let this band Infest our land, Nor let these liars conquer ; Oh, let this club Of Beelzebub Insult our land no longer ! They are bad, indeed, As the thistle weed, Which clokes our fertile mowing ; Compare them nigh To the Hessian fly, Which kills our wheat when growing. Come, sudden death, And cramp their breath. Refine them well with brimstone ; And let them there To hell repair, And turn the devil's grin'stone. They ate but little dinner that day, and the one appointed to return thanks arose, turned on his heel and left. Daddy's Boy. ' In a certain small town on the Mis sissippi lived a man who made horsetrad ing a business, lie bought up horses for city market, and was considered pretty good ou a trade. One day a long, lean, queer, green looking specimen of the Wes tern country, arrived at the dock with a boat load of horses, lie inquired for the horse jockey. "Daddy sent me down with some horses," he said, in a half-idiotic tone. "Who's he V "Daddy." "What do you want for your horses ?" "Daddy said you you could set yonr price," was the reply. "Let me go down and look at your horses," said Urown, and accordingly they were soon at the boat. Urown examined the horses, and named the price he would give for this one and that, and the country bumpkin made no objections, although some of the offers were not more than one half the real value of the animal. One of the by-stand-ers gently suggested to the countryman that he was being cheated, but he return- ed "Daddy said Urown would set the price himself," and so Urown had it all his own way. At last they came to an animal which did not look much superior to the rest. "I must have more for that animal," he said ; "daddy says he can run some. "Run !" said Urown, "that .t, nag can't luu nui ui u iuui,. "Daddy says so, and daddy knows." "Why, I've got one up to the stable that can beat it all hollow." "Guess not," said the fellow. "Let's try em. on 'im. I'll bet the boat load of horses Urown smiled. "I'll stake five thousand dollars against your boat load," said Urown, winking to the crowd, and "these men," selecting two, "shall hold the stakes." Urown's five thousand was entrusted to one, and the other went on board the horse boat. One of the crowd started to remonstrate with the poor idiotic fellow, but he only responded : "Golly ! dad told me he could run some and daddy ought to lose 'em if he was such a tarnal fool as to tell me that when he couldn't." Urown's slick racer was brought down, and Urown mounted him. The country man led out his animal and climbed ou his back, looking as uncouth and awk ward as the horse he proposed to Tide. The word was given, and they started, amid laughter of the crowd. At first Urown was ahead, and it looked as though the poor .fellow was to be badly beaten, when his horse suddenly plunged for ward, and the jockey was left far behind. Such going had not been seen in those parts for a long time, and poor Urown was crestfallen, as the cheers of the bystand ers fell on his ears. "I'll take the spoudulix," said the coun tryman, riding up ; "dad was right. The anermal can get around a little. Urown tried to say it was all a joke, but the fellow would have his money. "I guess 1 won't trade to-day," he said, as he put it in his old rough leather pocket-book. "I'll go back to daddy." "In vain Urown tried to induce him to trade, but he pushed off his boat, resolute ly saying: "I'd better go back and tell daddy." Urown was completely "sold," for he knew at once that the green countryman was shrewder than people imagined him, and just came there purposely to win his money from him. Next time be didn't ridicule a horse that "daddy Eaid could . run some K0RN. BY JOSH BILLINGS. Korn is a serial, and i am glad of it. It got its name from Series, a primitiff woman, and in her day, the goddess ov cats and sich like. Korn iz sumtimcs called maize, and it grows in sum parts ov the Western coun try, very aniazenly. I have seen it out tharc 18 foot hi (i don't mean the aktual korn itself, but tree on which it grows ) Korn haz ears, but never haz but one ear, which is as deff as an adder. Injun meal iz made out ov korn, and korn dodgers iz made out ov injun meal, and korn-dodgers are the tuffest chunks, ov the bread, purswashun, known tew man. Korn-dodgers are made ov water, with injun meal mixt into it, and then baked on a hard board, in the presence ov a hot fire. Wrhcn you kant drive a 10 penny nail into them, with a sledge hammer, they are scd, bi good judges to be well done, and are reddy tew be chawed upon. They will keep 5 years, in a damp place, and not grow tender, and a dog hit with one of them will yell for a week, and then crawl under the bum, and mutter for two days more. I hav knawed two hours miself on one side of a korn-doder without producing enny result. They git the name dodger from the' immcgiate necessity ov doding, if one iz hove horizontally at yu in anger. It iz for better tew be smote bi a 3 year old steer, than a korn-dodger that iz on ly 3 hours old. Korn was first discovered by the injun3, but wharc they found it i don't kno, and i don't know as I care. Wbiskee (noble whiskce), iz made out ov korn, and wbiskee iz one ov the great est blessings known to man. We never should hav bio able tew fill our State prizons with energetick men, and our poor-houses with good eaters, if it want for noble wbiskee. We never should hav had enny temper ance sons of society, nor prize fitcs, nor good murders, nor phatt aldermen, nor whiskce rings, nor nor nothing, if it want for blessed wbiskee. If it want for korn, how could enny boddy git korncd ? And if it want for gitting korncd, what would life be worth ? We should all slink down to the level ov the brute3 if it want for gitting korncd The brutes don't git korncd, they hain't got enny reason nor soal. We often hear ov "drunlcen unites," this is a compliment paid tew oxen which don't bclog tew them. Koan also haz kurnels, and kurncls arc often korned, so are brigadecr-ginerals. Johnny kake is made out ov korn, so 13 j hasty puddin. Hasty puddin and milk is quick tew eat. All you hav got to do iz to gap and swallo, and that is the last ov the puddin. Korn waz familiar to antiquity. Joseph waz sent down into Egypt alter sutn korn, but his brothers didn't want him to go, so they took pity on him and pitted him in a pit. When his brothers got back hum, and were asked wharc Joseph waz they didu't acknowledge the korn, but lied sum. It has been proved that it iz wicked lew lie about korn, or enny ov the other vegetables. Tharc is this difference between lieing and saging wood, it iz cazier to lie, especially in the shade. Korn haz got one thing that noboddy else haz got, and that iz a kob. This kob runs thru the middle ov the korn, and iz az phull ov korn az Job was ov biles. I alwus feel sorry when I think ov Job, and wonder how he managed tew set down in a chair. Knowing how tew set down square on a bile without hurting the chair, iz one ov the lost arts. Job was a card, he had more pashunce and biles tew the square inch than iz usual. One hundred and twenty five akers ov korn tew the bushel iz konsidercd a good krop, but I have seen more. I hav seen korn sold for 10 cents a bushel, and in sum parts ov the Western country it iz so much that there ain't no law against stealing it. In konclushun, if yu want tew git a sure krop ov korn, and a good price for the krop, feed about 4 quarts ov it to a shanghi rooster, then murder the rooster immejiutely and sell him for 17 cents a pound, krop and all. New York Weekly. A gentleman who was very zealous on the subject of horse, but not according to knowledge, bought a mare at an auc tion, and rode her home. "Well, Cassar" said be to his sable coachman, "what do you thind of her ? She cost me five hundred dollars." "Dunno, master." "Yes, but what do you think ?" "Well, massa, it makes me tiuk of what the preacher said yesterday something about his money is soon parted, I deisre mcmber de fust part." While passing a house in Virginia, two drummers observed a very peculiar chim ney, unfinished, and it uttracting their attention they a&kcd a flaxen haired ur chin standing near the house if it "draw- ed well." The aforesaid urchin replied : "Yes. it draws tho attention of all the fools that pass this road. IIotv to Manage Kerosene Lamps. Our cars arc every day paiued by ac counts of kerosene lamps exploding and killing, or scarring for life, men women or children. A simple knowledge of the inflammable nature of the fluid would probably put a stop to nearly all the ac cidents. As the oil burns down in the lamps, a highly inflammable g:is gathers over surface, and as the oil decreases the gas increases Wheu the oil is nearly consumed, a slight jar will often inflame the gas and an explosion is sure, dealing death and destruction. A bombshell is not more to be dreaded. Now if the lamp is not allowed to burn more than halfway down, such accidents are impossible. Always fill your lamps every morning; then you never need tear an explosiou. Half a tcaspbonful of salt added to the oil of a lamp which holds a pint, will take away the disagreeable odor sometimes ap parent, and, it as said, prevent the forma tion of a dangerous gas. It is a simple remedy, easily applied. It is also assert ed that the salt makes the oil last much longer, but we have only hearsay concern ing it. Kerosene is the best antidote for a severe buru or sclad. Immerse the wounded part in cold water for a mo ment; dry with a soft cloth, taking care not to rub at all. Then bathe in kero sene, aud the terrible pain ceases. We kuow not of the philosophy of the mat ter, but we do kuow that it is the moot efficacious remedy for severe burns or scalds in the materia mcdica. A YANKEE TRICK, One of our peculiar sided, gaunt Yan kees lately emigrated and settled down in the West. He was the picture of a mean man, but as he put himself to work in ear nest to get his house to rights, the neigh bors lent him a hand. After he had everything fixed to to his notion, a thought struck him that he had no chickens, and he was powerfully foud of sucking raw eggs. He was too honest to steal them, and too mean to buy them. At last a thought struck him he could borrow. He went to a neighbor aud thus accosted him : "Wal I reckon you han't got an old hen, nothin' yon'd lend me for a few weeks, have you neighbor Y" "I will lend you one with pleasure," replied the geutleman, picking out the very finest in the coop. The Yankee took the hen home, and then went to another neighbor and bor rowed a dozen of eggs. He then set the hen, and iu due course of the time she hatched out a dozou chickens. The Yankee was again puzzled ; he could return the hen, but how was he to return the egirs 1 Another idea and who ever saw a Yankee without one he would keep the heu until she had laid a dozen of eggs. This he did aud then returned the hen and eggs to their respective owners, re marking as he did so "Wal, I reckon I've. got as fine a dozen of chickens as you ever laid your eyes ou, and they didn't cost me a ceut nuther." Fun at Home. Don't be afraid of a little fun at home, good people ! Don't shut up your house lest the sua should fade your carpets ; and your hearts, lest a hearty laugh should shake down some of the musty old cob webs there ! If you want to ruin your sons, let them think that all mirth and social enjoyment must be left on t!o threshold whithoutwheu they come home at night. When once a home is regarded as only a place to cat, drink, and sleep in, tho work is begun that ends iu gambliug houses and reckless degradation. Young people must have fun and relaxation some where ; if they do not find it at their own hearthstones, it will be sought at other, ! and perhaps less profitable places. There- fore, let the fire burn brightly at utght.j and make the homestead delightful with! all those little arts that parents so per-! fectly understand. Dou't repress the! buoyant spirits of your childru ; half-an-hour of merriment around the lamp and fire-light of a home blots out tho re membrance of many a care and aunoyance during the day ; and the best safeguard j they can take with them into the world ; is the unseen influcuce of a bright little! domestic circle. neaving the Lead. The steamer "Fanny" was coming down the Upper Mississippi loaded with pig led. As she was going over a choal place, the pilot gave the signal to heave the lead. The only man forward at tho the time was a green Irishman. "Is it to heave tho lead, your honor? Where to?" "Overboard, you blockhead !" The Irishman snatched up one of tho pigs of lead and threw it overboard ; the mate, in endeavoring to prevent him, lost his balance and fell iuto the river. The captain, running to the edge of the deck, asked : "Why dou't you heave the lead, aud sing out how much water there is ?" 'The lead is heaved, your honor," said Pat, "and the mate's gouo down to see how much water there is." Quilpand his wife had a bit of conten tion the other day. "I own that you have more brilliancy limn 1," said the woniau, "but I have the better judgment." "Yes," said Quip, "your choice in marrying shows that !" Quilp was informed that he was a brute. AGRICULTURAL. Care of Horses' Legs. Few men who handle horses give pro per attention to the foct and legs. Espe cially i.s this the case on the farms. Much time is spent ofa morning rubbing, brushing and smoothing the hair on the sides aud hips, but at uo time are the feet examined and properly cared for .Now, be it known, that in this six thousand years old world of ours the feet need more care than the body. They need ten times as much for in one respect they are al most the eutire horse. All the grooming that can be done won't avail anything, if the horse is forced to stand where his feet will be filthy. In this case tho feet will become disordered, and then the legs will get badly out of fix, aud with bad feet bad legs there is not much else of the horse fit for anything. Stable prisons generally, are terribly severe on the feet aud legs of horses, and unless these build ings can afford a dry room, where a horse can walk around, lie down or roll over, they are not half so healthy and comfort able to the horse as the pasture, and should be avoided by all good hostlers in the country. Putty and Paint. However much these two articles may be used to hide deficiencies and cover up faults by dishonest tradesmen, in the far mer's hands they may be made to do ex cellent service. Possibly the wagon, the plows, and borrows, that have been in ac tive employment during the summer, have had their seams or cracks opened by the sun's heat. Now is the time to stop those scams or cracks with putty and a touch of paiut, before the fall rains soak in and commence to rot the wood. Re peated swelling and shrinking do serious injury to all wooden implements, and now, while they are well shrunk, is tho time to look after them and prevent the swelling which will occur if damp or wet is allowed to penetrate. Forks, shovels, axes, and all tool3 with wooden handles should be rubbed with lincseed oil while dry. They will have their elasticity pre served, and their durability and apper ance improved thereby. Offensive Breath. From six to ten drops of the concen trated solution of chloride of soda in a wine glass full of pure spring water, tak eu immediately after ablutions of the morning arc completed, will sweet the breath, by disinfecting the stomach, which, far from being injured, will be benefitted by the medicine. If necessary, this may be repeated in the middle of tho day. In some cases the odor arising from carious teeth is combined with that of tho stomach. If the mouth is well riused with a tea spoonful of the solution of the I chloride in a tumbler of water, the bad odor of teeth will be removed. Sand Compost. A German agricultural paper rceom meuds tho application ofa kind of sand compost upon mossy meadows as highly successful. Saud, or sandy soil, is piled up, and daily watered with the liquid of stable drains or siuks. To prevent tho escape of ammonia, a sprinkling of gyp sum is applied. This compost is to be worked over, and after four to five weeks it is fit for use. The writer claims that tho heavy sand smothers the moss, while the fertilizers promote the growth of tho grass, and he refers to his favorable re sults as proof. Corn. The claim that the maize or Indian corn plant is indigenous to the soil of the New World, has lately been contested, and recent investigations of certain Chinese records are cited to prove that it was cultivated in China prior to tho dis covery of America. Chinese authors maintain that it came originally from countries west of that country long before the first arrival of the Portuguese, ia 1517. Clover Cure. The extract of red clover spread on linen, or soft, thin leather, is said to bo an excellent remedy for cancerous ulcers. It is highly recommended in ill condi tioned ulcers of every kind, aud deep, ragged edged and otherwise badly condi tioned burns. It possesses a peculiar soothing property, au efficacious deter gent, and promotes a healthful granula tion. Tha Original Poach. The peach was originally a poisoned almond. Its fleshy parts were used to poisou arrows, and the fruit was for this purpose introduced into Persia. Tho transplantation and cultivation, however, not only removed its poisonous qualities, but produced the delicious fruit we now eujow. Remedy for Lice. A correspondent states that for some seven years his chickens have been kept free from lice by strewing small brauches or sprays of cedcr about the heuery. Pre vious to the use of this simple remedy, they were badly infested. No white washing or other means to expel vermin have becu used. A witty writer says: "Lawyers and clients remind me of tho two rows of peo ple at a fire ; ouc passing along full buckets, and the other ctupty ones."