II f H
Ji LJLJJ' A
Scuotcu to politics, literature, Agriculture, Science, iHoralitu, aui eucral 3ntclligcncc.
VOL. 25.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., NOVEMBER 22, 1866.
NO. 3fc
. 3
Published by Theodore Schoch.
TERMS' Two dol!ars a year in advance and if not
paid before the end of the year, two dollars and fitly
ct.. will be charged.
No paperdiscontinued until all arrearages a re paid,
except at the option of the Editor.
IU Advertisements of one square of (eight lines) or
loss, one or three insertions 9 1 50. Each additional
insertion, 50 cents. Longer ones in proportion.
JOC PEtlXTIflG,
OF ALL KINDS,
Executed in the highest style of the Art.and onthe
most reasonable terms.
S. IIOIUES, JK.,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, AND GENERAL
CLAIM AGENT.
STROUDSBURG, PA.
Office tcith S. S. Dreher, Esq.
All claims against the Government prose
cuted with dispatch at reduced rates.
(7- An additional bounty of $100 and of
$50 procured fcr Soldiers in the late War,
FSEF. OF EXTRA CHARGE.
A ugust 2, I860.
DR A. REEVES JACKSON,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Begs leave to announce that, in order to
prevent disappointment, he will hereafter de
vote THURSDAY and SATURDAY ot
each week exclusively to Consultations
anJ Surgical Operations at his office.
Parties from a distance who desire to con
salt him, can do so, therefore, on those days.
Stroudsbur-, May 31, 19G6.-tf.
Furniture ! Furniture !
McCarty's hi Furniture Store,
DREIIER'S NEW BUILDING, two
doors below the Post-office, Strouds
burg, Pa. He is selling his Furniture 10
percent, less than Easton or Washington
prices, to say nothing about freight or break
a?c. May 17, 16G6.-tf.
INING-ROOM FURNITURE in Wal
nut, Oak and White Ash, Extension
Tables, any size you wish, at McCARTY'S
new Ware-Rooms. May 17, lSGG.-tf.
IF YOU WANT A GOOD PARLOR
Suit in Rose, Mahogany or Walnut,
McCARTY has it. May 17, lSGG.-tf.
TF YOU WANT A GOOD MELODEON,
from one of the best makers in the Uni
ted States, solid Rosewood Case, warranted
5 years, call at McCARTY'S, he would es
pecially invite all who are good judges ot
Music to come and test them. He will sell
you from any maker you wish, 810 less than
ihose who sell on commission. The reason
is he buys for cash and sells for the same,
with less than one-half the usual per centage
that agents want. J. H. McCARTY.
May J 7, ISGG.-tf.
NDERTAKING IN ALL ITS BRAN
ches.
Particular attention will be given to this
branch of the subscriber's business. He will
always study to please and consult the
wants and wishes of those who employ him.
From the number of years experience he has
had in this branch of business he cannot and
will not not be excelled either in city or
country. Prices one-third less than is usual
ly charged, from 50 to 73 finished Coffins al
nn hsnd. Trimmings to suit the best
Hearse in the country. Funerals attended.
at one hour's notice. J. u. jmcviva x.
May 17, ISGG.-tf.
Saddle and Harness
Manufactory.
The undersigned respectfully informs
the citizens of Stroudsburg, and surroun
ding country, that be bas commenced tbe
above business in Fowler's building, on
Elizabeth street, and is fully prepared to
furnish any article in his line of business,
at short notice. On hand at all times, a
large stock of
Harness, Win'), Trunks, VaUccs, Car
pet Bags, Horse-Blankets, Bells,
Skates, Oil Cloths, &c.
Carriage Trimming promptly attended
to. JOHN O. SAYLOR.
Stroudsburg, Dec. 14, 1805.
Gofhic Hall Drug Store.
William IZoIIiiishcad,
Wholesale and Retail Druggist.
STROUDSBURG, Pa.
Constantly on hand and for
osene'Oil, Perfumery and Fancy Goods;
also
Kasli. blind and Doors.
Pure Winc3 and Liquors for Medicinal
purpose.
P. S. Physicians Prescriptions care
fully compounded.
Stroudsburg, July 7, 18G4.
TIN SHOP !
The undersigned begs leave to inform his
friends and the public generally, that he has
now opened a TIN SHOP, on Main street,
near the Stroudsburg Mills, opposite Troch
& Walton', formerly R. S. Staples' Store,
where he is prepared to manufacture and
sell at wholesale and retail, all kinds of
Tin, topper and Sheet Iron-Ware.
ALSO,
Stoves, Stove ipc aud Elbows.
Old and second hand Stoves bought and
so!d, at cash rates.
CASH paid fur Old Lead, Copper and
Brans.
CO" Roofing, Spouting and Repairing
promptly attended to and warranted to give
sitibfaction. Call and bee lor yourselves.
WILLIAM K MISER.
Stroudsburg, Dec. 8, 1SG0.
11
ECEIVED this day a splendid assort
ment of H OUSE 1 J O LD 1' URN IT URE.
August 2, 16G0.
BLANK- DEEDS
For sale at this Ofiie
Msale cheap for cash, a fresh sup
ply of Drugs, Medicines, Paints,
lil fMce Piittv Varnish. Ker-
' J . L'- . J ) --'7
TRUST IN HEAVEN.
This world is all a fleeting show,
For man's illusion given ;
The smiles of joy, the tears of wo,
Deceitful shine, deceitful flow
There's nothing true but Heaven!
Moore.
Trust in Heaven! when o'er the path,
Clouds and tempests come in wrath;
When thy grief oppresseth thee,
When obscured thy prospects be,
When around thee mists are driven,
Heed them not, but trust in Heaven !
Trust in Heaven! when morning lifts
Up her head, and casts her gift?,
Light and dew, upon the earth;
When she brings the blossoms forth,
Till shall shine the stars of even.
For a safeguard, trust in Heaven !
Trust in Heaven ! when there afar
Bumeth many a glorious star;
Canst thou doubt, when thus their light
Gleams unshadowed through the night,
That protection may. be given
To thy pillow ! trust in Heaven !
Trust in Heaven ! when from its way
Those thou lovest go astray ;
Strive, still strive to bring them back
To its straight and thornlcss track;
And that truth may soon be given
To their spirits, trust in Heaven !
Trust in Heaven ! it shall not fail,
When the darkest griefs prevail ! -And
when Death at length shall come,
When around thee spreads his gloom,
Pray that thou mayst be forgiven
Place thy dearest trust in Heaven !
Caught in his Own Trap.
A girl, young and pretty, and above all,
gifted with an air of admiradle candor, la
tely presented hereself before a Parisian
lawyer.
'Monsieur, I have come"to consult you
upon a grave affair. I want you to oblige
a man I love to marry me in spite of him
self. How shall I proceed ?'
The gentleman of the bar had, of course
a sufficient clastic conscience. He reflect
ed a moment, and then, being sure that no
third person overheard him, he replied.
'Mademoiselle, according to our law,
you always possess the means of forcing a
man to marry you. You must remain ou
three occasious alone with him ; you can
then go before a judge, and swear that
he is your lover.'
'And jtvill that suffice. Monsieur ?'
'Yes, with one further condition.'
Well V
Then you will produce witnessess who
will make oath to having seen you remain
a good quater of an hour with the person
said to have triSed with your affections.'
'Very well, Monsieur, 1 will retain you
as counsel in the management of this af
fair. Good day.'
A few days after the young lady re
turned. She was mysteriously received
by the lawyer, who scarcely giving her
time to seat herself, questioned her with
the most lively curiosity.
'Capital, capital.'
Persevere in your design, Mademoi
solle; but mind, the uext time you come
to consult me give me the name of the
young man you are going to make so hap
py in spite of himself.'
A fortnight afterward, the young lady
again knocked at the door of the coun
sel's room. No sooner was she within,
she flung hereself into a chair, saying
that? the walk had made her breathless.
Her counsel endeavored to reassure her,
inhale salts, and even proposed to unloose
her garments.
It is useless, Monsieur,' she said, 'I
am much better.'
Well now, tell me the name of the for
tunate mortal.'
'Well, then, the fortunate mortal, be it
known to you, is yourself!' said the
young beauty, bursting into a laugh, 'I
love you ; I have deen here three times
tete-a-tete with you, and my four wit
nessess are below ready and willing to ac
company me to a magistrate, gravely con
tinued, the narrator.
The lawyer, thus caught, had the good
sense not to get angry. The mo?t sing
ular fact of all i3 that he adore3 his young
wife, who by the way, makes an excellent
housekeeper.
Politeness in Business.
Politeness in business 13 a large addi
tion to your capital already invested. It
keeps your customers in good humor and
gains new ones'for your every day. It is
the charm that smoothes and softens the
rough paths of business. It is the 'phi
losopher's stone' which turns everything
you touch into gold. It invests commcr
ical life with most of the poetry which
ever adorns it. It makes men like you,
and love to deal with you. It gains you
the kind words and good offices of those
with whom you come in contact. It has
been humorously and truly said by one,
that he preferred making his yearly deal
ings with a polite merchant who would
cheat him a little, than with a rude,
rough, and habitual impolite one who
would honor him a great deal ! Honesty
and honor are commendable and shining
qualities, it is true, but they never look
better than wheu found in a setting of
genuine politeness and good breeding.
.
A young man married to a buxom Ir
ish girl greatly to the horror of his mo
ther and sister, made the following de
fence: " If I married an American girl
I must have an Irish girl to take care of
her, and I cannot afford to support both
of them."
Be dilieat.
THE BEST FUN.
" Now, boys, I'll tell you how we can
have some fun," said Freddie B , to his
companions, who had assembled on a beau
tiful moonlight evening, for sliding,
snow-balling, and fun generally.
"How?" "Where?" "What is it?"
asked several eager voices all at once.
" I heard widow M tell a man a little
while ago," replied Freddie, that she
would go over and sit up with a sick
child to-night. She eaid she would be
over about eight o'clock. Now, as soon
as she is gone, let's go and make a big
snow man on her door step, so that when
she comes back in the morning, she can?
pot get into her house, without first knock
ing him over.
"Capital," "First-rate," Hoora,"
shouted some of the boys."
Sec here," said Charlie N , I'll
tell you the best fun."
l What is it?" again inquired several
voices at once.
" Wait a while," said Charlie, " Who's
got a wood-saw?"
' I have," " So have I," " And I,"
answered three of the boys. " But what
in the world do you want a wood-saw
for?"
"You shall see," replied Charlie.
" It is almost eight o'clock now, so go
and get your saws. You, Freddie and
Nathan, get each an axe, and I will get a
Lshovcl. Let rls all be back here in fifteen
minutes, and then I'll show you the fun."
Tho boys separated to go on their sev
eral errands, each wondering what the
fun could be, and what possible use could
be made of wood-saws and axes in their
play. Rut Charlie was not only a great
favorite with them all, but also an ac
knowledged leader, and they fully be
lieved in him and his promise. Their
curiosity gave elasticity to their steps,
and they were soon assembled.
Now," said Charlie, " Mrs. M is
gone, for I met her when I was coming
back, so let's be off at once."
"But what are you going to do?" in
quired several impatient members of the
party.
" You shall see directly," replied the
leader, a3 they approached the humble
residence of Mrs. M .
" Now, boys," said Charlie, you see
that pile of wood; a man hauled it here
this afternoon, and I heard Mrs. M tell
him unless she got some one to saw it to
night, she should have hardly anything
to make a fire of in the mornings Now
we can saw and split that pile of wood
just about as easy as we could build a
great snow man, and when Mrs. M
comes home from her watching, she will
be full as much surprised to find her wood
sawed, as she would to find a snow man
on her doorsteps, and a great deal more
! pleasantly surprised, too. What say you?
Will you do it?"
One or two of the boys rather demur
red at first. They didn't like to saw wood,
they said. But the majority were in fa
vor of Charley's project, so they finally
joined in, and went to work with a will.
' I'll go around to the back of the
shed," said Charlie, " and crawl though
the window and uufasten the door. Then
we'll take turns in sawing, splitting and
carrying in wood; and I want to pile it
up real nice, and to shovel all the snow
away from the door; and a good wide
path, too, from the door to the street
won't it be fun, when she comes home
and sees it?"
The boys began to appreciate the fun,
for they felt that they were doing a good
deed, and individually experienced that
self-satisfaction and joy which always re
sult from well doing.
It was not a long or wearisome job for
seven robust and healthy boys, to saw,
split and pile up the poor widow's
half cord of wood, and to shovel a good
path. And when it- was done, so great
was their pleasure and satisfaction, that
one of the boys who objected to work at
first, proposed that they should go to a
neighboring carpenter's shop where
plenty of shavings could bo had for the
carrying away and each bring an arm
ful of kindliug wood. The proposition
was readily acceded to, and this done,
they repaired to their several homes, all
of them more than satisfied with the
"fun" of the evening. And next morn
ing, when the weary widow returned from
watching by the sick-bed, and saw what
was done, she icas pleasantly surprised;
and afterwards, when a neighbor, who had
unobserved witnessed the labors of the
boys, told how it was done, her fervent
invocation " God bless the boys," of it
self, if they could but have heard it, was
an abundant reward for their labors.
Ah, boys and girls, the best fun js al
ways found in doing something that is
kind and useful. This is the deliberate
opinion of a gray-headed old man; but if
you doubt it in the least, just try it for
yourselves, and be convinced.
A Slight Mistake.
A dry-goods merchant in Vermont adver
tises as follows : " The female who carried
off a pair of black kid gloves from our
store took also, by mistake, doubtless,
half of another pair. She is respectfully
requested to return the odd glove or come
to our store an 1 get the one left, as a sin
gle glove, like, a single individual, is poor
stock until muted."
A Western editor lately married oue of
his compositors, another compositor acting
as bridesmaid, the officiating clcagymau
being a retired printer, and tho local edi
tor giving away tho bride.
"The Gray Mare is the Better Horse."
The application of this proverb is well
known, but not so well the story on
which it is founded. A gentleman, who
had seen the world, one day gave his el
dest son a span of horses, a chariot, and a
basket of eggs. " Do you," said he to
the boy, ' travel upon the high road un
til you come to the first house in which
there is a married couple. If you find
that the husband is the master there, givo
him one of the horses. If, on the con
trary, the wife is the ruler, give her an
egg. Return at once if you part with a
horse, but'do not come back so long as
you keep both horses, and there is an egg
remaininjr.
Away went the boy full of his mission,
and, just beyond the borders of his
father's estate, lo! a modest cottage.
He alighted from his chariot and
knocked at the door. The good-wife
opened it for him and courtesied. " Is
your husband at home?" "No;" but
she would call him in from the hay field.
In he came, wiping his brows. The young
man told them his errand. " Why," says
the wife, bridling and rolling the cornc
of her apron, " I always do as John wants
me to do; he is my master, ain't you
John?" " Then," said tho boy, " I am
to give you a horse; which will you take?"
" I think," said John, as how that bay
geldling seems to be the one as would
suit me the best." ' If we have a choice,
husband," said the wife, " I think the
gray mare will suit us best." " No," re
plied John, ' tho bay for me; he is the
more square in front, and his legs are
better." Now," said tho wife, " I don't
think so; the gray mare is the better
horse, and I shall never be contented un
less I get that one." " Well," said John,
" if your mind is set on it, I'll give up;
we'll take the gray mare." " Thank
you' said the boy, " allow me to give
you an egg from this basket; it is a nice
fresh one, and you can boil it hard or soft,
as your wife will allow." The rest of
the story you may imagine; the young
man came home with both horses, but not
an egg remained in the basket.
Antiquity of Mankind.
The State Geological survey of Cali
fornia has recently made a discovery that
will attract attention all over the world,
that will become a notable fact in the his
tory of geology. Every person of intel
ligence is supposed to know that the age
of the earth, according to tho unanimous
opinins of geologists is not less than a
million of years; that there have been
sucsessive epochs of animal and vegeta
ble life, the remains of which are found
deep in the rocks; that the animals and
plants of the earlier epochs differ from
those now living on earth; and that un
til very lately, nothing has been found to
show that man lived on our globe before
the beginning of the present era. A few
years since, however, some human bones
were found in England and France show
ing that man lived in these islands in a
former epoch, contemporaneously with
the hyena, the rhinoceros, tho elephant,
and numerous other animals that disap
peared from Europe long before the be
ginning of our historical records. This
discovery made a great sensation in the
learned world, and was the basis of Lyell's
great work on the " Antiquity of Man
kind." The ancient human bones of Eu
rope were found in the formation known
as the lias; but now a human skull has
been found in California, in the plcio
ccne, a much older formation. This
skull is, therefore, the remnant not only
of the oldest known pioneer of the State,
but the oldest known human being.
Auction of. Women.
It is well known that an aution of un
married women used to take place annu
ally in Babylon. u In every district,"
says the historian, they assembled on a
certain day of every year all the virgins
of marriageable age." The most beauti
ful were first put up, and tho man who
bid the largest sum of money gained pos
session of her. The second in appearance
followed, and the bidders gratified them
selves with handsome wives according to
tho depth of their purses. But alas! it
seems that there were in Babylon some
women for whom no money was likely to
bo offered, yet these were also disposed
of so provident wero the Babylonians.
" When all the beautiful virgins," says
the historian, " were sold, the crier or
dered the most deformed to stand up;
and after he had openly demanded who
would marry her with a small sum, she
was at length adjudged to the man who
would bo satisfied with the least; and in
this manner the money arising from the
sale of the handsome, served as a portion
to those who were cither of disagreeable
looks or that had any other imperfection.
This custom prevailed about 500 years
before Christ.
The crop of wheat in California has
been remarkably good this year, both in
quality, and large shipments of wheat and
barley have becu made from San Fran
cisco to Philadelphia, New York, and
Europe. A firm on Broad street, Phila
delphia, have shipped from San Francisco,
to come around Capo Horn, a cargo of
wheat, on which they will clear, if it ar
rives safely iu Philadelphia, 530,000.
A man a short distance out of tho city
of New York says no one need tell him
that advertising wou't cause a big rush,
fur he advertised ten buslicls of fiue grapes
for sale, and tho next morning there
wasn't oue left tho bop itolo 'urn all.
Making Explanations to St. Peter.
E. D. Mansfield, in an article pub
lished by the Central Herald, on the re
ligion of public men, tells an anecdote'
respecting the late Governor Corwin:
" Corwin I should like to know, if you
have no objections, what are your reli
gious views?" " Certainly," said he, " I
believe in the doctrine of what is called the
orthodox cliurches. I have no objection
to them. I was brought up a Baptist,
and so far as they have peculiar views, I
am a Baptist. But. S . there is one
thing in which your churches are wrong
lou say too much and do too little.
Some of your members when they go to
the gate of heaven, and ask St. Peter to
let them in, will have to make a good ma
ny explanations. Now there are two mem
bers of your church that will illustrate
what I mean. There is old L
He
is ic good standing, and orthodox; but
L lends money at licclvc per cent, in-'
tcrcst. Now, when L goes to heav
en, and St. Peter asks who he is, and he
says Li
to made
-, you may depend he will have
a good many explanations. 1
don't say he won't be let in; but he will
have to exnlain. Now there is another.;
man in your church you know him
Judge C . The other day I saw his
team in town with a good load of wood.
Several persons came around to buy it.
No,' said the driver, it is engaged.'
A little while after, as I wa3 going down
street, at widow W.'s house I saw the
. . . ..
same team unloading the wood. I thought
it strange, for widow W. is poor, and wood
is high, bo 1 stepped in and said, Airs.
W., how much do you payjbr wood?'
O! Mr. Corwin, I don't pay anything
for wood, can't afford to buy it. Judge
C. sent this wood; and whenever I am
out of wood, somehow he sends me a load,
and sometimes he sends a sack of flour.'
Now S , when C. goes up to the gate
of heaven it will fly wide open. St.. Pe
ter wants no explanations!"
A Lovely Incident.
That parents on reading the annexed
extract, can fail tG reflect on the lesson it
suggests? How -important that, when
the parent has departed, the example left
behind them may be such as the child can be
thankful for. To watch for and train the
budding thoughts of an artless child, is
one of the noblest offices that father or
mother can fill. Truly hath it been said,
that 'out of the mouth of babes and suck
lings' strength hath been ordained.
What could give greater strength to the
widowed heart than such a scene with
her daughter
She knelt at the accustomed hour, to
thank God for the mercies of the day, and
pray for care through the coming night ;
then, as usual, came the earnest 'God
bless dear mother, and' but the prayer
was stilled ! the little hands usclaspcd,
and a look of agony and wonder met the
mother's eye, as the words of hopeless
8orrow"burst from the lips of the kneel
ing child 'I cannot pray for father any
more !" Since her little lips had been
able to form the dear name, she had pray
ed for a blessing upon it ; it had follow
ed close after mother's name for he had
said that must come first ; and now to say
the familiar prayer, and leave her father
out ! No wonder that the new thought
seemed to much for the childish mind to
receive.
I waited some moments, that she might
conquer her emotion, and then urged her
to go on. Her pleading eyes met mine,
and with a voice that faltered too much!
almost fpr utterance, she said 'O, moth
er, I cannot leave him all out, let me say,
thank God that I had a dear father once I
so I can still go on and keep him in my
prayers.' And so she always does, and
my stricken heart learned a lesson from
the loving ingenuity of my child. Re
member to thank God for mercies past,
as well as to ask for blessings for the fu
ture. "The Dilligent "Woman."
She riscth in the morning betimes, and
as the lark singelh to his mate, so she
maketh a joyful noise in all her house.
She shaketh up her bed, and beateth
tho pillows thereof, and like as an eagle
stirreth up her nest, so sho stirrcth up
the feathers, and sprcadeth cut the sheets,
and layeth tho blankets apart.
She layeth her hands to the wash tub
and rubbeth upon the board, makiug clean
the fiue liuen ; her hands take fast hold
of the wringer, and by turnig the crank
the water thereof is pressed out.
Sho clotheth her family with pure gar
ments, wnen she has made them smooth
with a hot iron, and by reason thereof her
husband is made comely when he sitteth
among the chief men, or walkcth in the
market places.
She kneadeth up her dough, and bak
eth a oodly cake for her household, and
to every one she giveth a piece of bread,
and butter of kino.
xim nrovideth her dinner m due sea
son, and supper faileth uot, wheu the good
man returncth at the end of the day,
weary with his labors aud tho strife o
men.
She looketh well to the ways or her
household, and scoructh the idle woman,
with her delicate hands, who licth iu bed
aud oulloth a servant.
A vounir wife, of Michigan,
after a
honeyinoou 6f twenty-four hours, left her
husband, applied for a divorce on the
"round thatf 44 her man was not as rich un
thought he was," aad the Coavt grau-
ted it.
Learning: a Trade.
It was a wise law of the ancient Jews,
that the sons of even the wealthiest men
should bo made to serve an apprentice
ship to some useful occupation, so that ia
case of reverse of fortune," they might
uavc semetuing to "fall back upon." Tho
same still exists ia Turkey, where every
man, even the Sultan himself, must learn
a trade. IIOW fortnnnt wrtnlrl it h nnw
i had it been a law in th rnnnfrr
"Uouldto God I had a trado I" is the
cry of thousands of returned soldiers, North
and South, who find themselves ruined
in pocket with no immediate prospect of
gaining a livelihood. It should teach,
parents that whatever else they may give
their sons, they should give them a trade.
So far as the education of their child
rcn in the science of keeping proper ac
counts in concerned, the idea is a cood
one, as every young man should have a
sumcicnt knowledge to manage his own
books, should he ever embark in business;
but to make book-keepers and clerks of -all
our boys- is a grand mistake. Better'
place them in a work shop, mill, or foun
dry, where they can learn independent
trades, which, at all time3, will secure for
them employment at anv time, and the
T "
pecuniary compensation for which will be
at least as much, if not more, than the
business of accounts. We earnestly ad
vise all parents to teach their sons trades,
no matter what, so that it i3 an indus
trious pursuit ; and let us in future be
spared the paia of seeing so many stout,
able bodied young men out of employ
ment, and seeking situations whore the-
pen only can be used.
Taking the Oath onco too Often.
Says the Baton Rouge Advocate : X '
was one of the tightest men in the neigh
borhood. During tbe war he fought with
his tongue on both sides, and never gave
as much as a sweet potato fo a Confederate
soldier. One morning he was visited by
a large crowd of cavalry who were dressed
in all kinds of patchwork had their gun
locks tied on with strings, etc. Now, al
though X had never seen such an ill
assorted lot among the Confederates, he
was sure they were not Yankees, and al
though he had taken the oath so often
that his nose looked like one of the streaks
in the American Flag, he began to talk
patriotic :
"Gentlemen," said he, "dismount and
take some water; the develish Yanks
have toted all my feed away, but I ana
getting even with them. I generally kill
one out oa the road every morning before
breakfast, and I have an early fast, too."
"Will ycu swear to that ?" said the
commander.
"Certainly," replied X, who accord
ingly swore.
He swore worse than that before the
Provost Marshal in Baton Rouge, where
he was carried by his Federal Captors, in
about four hours afterwards. His visitors
were Federals in disguise, and X took,
a long trip at Government expense.
A rather comical story is told in con--neetion
with the early appearance of Dr.
Bethunc, as officiating clergyman in 'a
church then located not far from the city
of Rochester. The edifice was placed io
the center of a large park, and it being'
summer time, the open doors made the
green aisle carpet appear like a continua
tion of the grassy lawn on the outside. At
least so the matter appeared to half a dot
en geese, who quietly walked into the
church just as the preacher was closing a
spleadid passage of eloquence, and waa.
quoting the lines:
44 Who are those arrayed in white," &.C.
A green, half-grown counfry boy, wka
supposed the quotation so eloquently pro-
pounded required an answer, at once re
plied, in a bashful lisp: "JViem them
there's geeth." The wings of the young
minister were thus abruptly clipped whila
he was aflight, and the ones ' arrayed in
white" were the only dignified individual
iu the audience.
A Beautiful Woman.
One day last winter, a boy from the
South, who was on a visit to the city,
was takiug his first lesson in the art of
"sliding down hill," when he suddenly
found his feet in rather lose contact with
a lady's silk dress. Surprised, mortified,
and coufuscd, he sprang from his sled,,
aud, cap in hand, commenced an earnest
apology ; "I beg your pardon, ma'am ; I
... it
uui uiy tuny.
"Never
mind,"
exclaimed tho
lady
you
"therc ia no great harm done, and
r.-i v ..... .i T .1 "
icei wuisc auoub u iuuii x uu.
"But, dear madam," said tho boy, as
his eyes filled with tears "your dress is
ruined. I thought you would be very an
gry with me for beiug so carelcsss !"
"No, no," replied the lady, "better have
a soiled dress than a ruffled temper."
"Oh, isn't she a beauty !" exclaimed
the lad, as the lady, p;;S3td on.
:
A Tonderous Youth.
The boy of sevcutcen years of age,
who is on exhibition at Ireland, is a size
able aud weighty youth. He measures
thirty-eight inches aeross the shoulders,
seventy Three inches around tho waist,
thirty-six arouud the thigh, thirty around
the calf of the leg, and twenty-two around
the arm. Ho weighs now 512 pounds,
aud wheu he gets his growth, having sev
eral years yet to increase his size, he will
bo ouo of tho woudera of the world.
Why is a washerwoman the most cruel
person iu the world ?
Bccuuso she
daily
nuirs