9
4& .
sag-.
SJeuotcfc to politics, literature, Agriculture, Science, iHoraiiti), au eucral Intelligence.
VOL. 25.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA., JUNE 14, i860.
no. n
PuMishc4 by Theodore Schoeh.
TERMS-Tno dollars a year in advance and if no
raid bef-irc the end or tnc yc;u, i o uouars aim miy
tc cilthr rhnrcrd.
No p.ipor discontinued until all arrcntages arc paid,
except at ttic option oi mc liuuur.
IC-V Ivcrtise.neuls of one square of (ciglil lines) or
es, one or three insertions 51 au. turn auuiuon.u
nscHion, 50 cents. Longer ones in proportion.
JOB PRIKTfiNG,
OF ALL KINDS,
Executed in the highest style of the Art, and onthe
most iciisonHb'e terms.
"TREHEKDOl'S ESCITEMEST !
Death toffioliPrices!
Up Town in a Blaze !
METZGAR & STORM, respeclfully in
form the public that the days of imposition
prices have gone by in Stroudsburg, for the
proof of which they invite their friends, from
bolh town and county, to call at their new
Store, on Elizabeth Slrcel. in Stroudsburg,
one door below the Indian Queen Hotel, ex
amine their goods and learn how low they
sell thcin.
YVciaavc DRY GOODS in almost eudk-ss
variety,
C!oth, Cassimcres and Vesthigs,
Calicoes, Detains and Musi ins,
TriniBiings aad Solicit,
nhd everything in tint Ihie.
Wc have GROCERIES and PROVI
SIONS, . j
SUGARS, COFFEES, TEAS, . j
SPICES, FISH, PORK, j
and a full atsorfmeni in that line. j
Wc have Crocker u Ware, Wooden Were, ,
Willow Ware, Hardware, a general assort
ment. TOBACCO of all hinds,
BOOTS AND SHOES, and iti fact al
most everything that Can be called for in a
completely stocked Siore.
Call and see for yourselves. We take
pleasure in showing goods without price,
and can sell yiu calicoes lrom li ceuis to j
25 cents per 'ard, and everything else pio
poriiooately low
We feel" duly thankful for the many evi
dences ot already received appreciation of;
nir efiorls to knock down war Driers, and i
can assure the public that there is still room , thene Uau-.vay lrom the West; atilanun
for a few more evidences of ihc same sorL ' ka Chunk with a train for Philadelphia and
Don't forget the place and give us a call. intermediate sUtions, arming in Philadel-
J. P. METZGAR.
JEROME STORM.
March 29, 13GG.
c:
A
ARE NOW OFFERED BY A
XJW FIRM,
SSI LEY & WALTON,
(SUCCKSSORS TO R. S- ST PLES.)
The subscribers would hereb3' inform
their friends and ihe public generally,
that the have recently purchased the
entire stock of R. S. .Staples, and asso
ciated themselves tojrcthcr as co partners
uuder the name of ,
SMILEY d WALT OX,
for the purpose of carrying on the Mer
cantile trade in all its branees, at the well
known stand lately occupied by 11. S-Stapj-fs.
Wc have already added to our
former stock a fresh supply of
FANCY DRESS GOODS, SPRING
STYLES.
Our goods were bought low, since the
late decline in prices, and our customers
hhll have the benefit of it.
Wc alswkeep a full afe&o: tment of choice
Family Groccri'-,
ISbol ami Sii;es
CrocIiry Ware,
Vi'oedest Ware, &c
In short, wc mean to keep every thing
that constitute a first class country store.
Our purpose shall be to- endeavor to give
perfect satisfaction to all who favor us
with their patronage. Come and see us.
MORRIS SMILEY.
JOS. T. WALTOX.
Stroudsburg, Pa., 3Iarch 22, 1SGG.
Cabinet Maker, VMmnk
ing, v. &c, &e.
fs Prepared with a Large Slock of
CABINET WARE
TO MEET ALL demands upon him, or
will mannfacture to order anything in
his line, in the latest sij-les to suit the taste
of customers.
All work made of the best material and
warranted.
He is also prepared, with material and
fixtures, to attend to the business of
UNDERTAKING
in a manner that cannot fail to prove satis
factory to all who favor him with patrcn
oge. Prices moderate.
Shop and Ware-Room on the comer of
Sarah and Simpson Sis.,
April 5, 1SGG. STROUDSBURG, PA.
Greatest Cough itfetiicitic
IX THE WOULD,
COMPOUND SYRUP OF
Tar, Id Cherry and Hoarhound,
For the cure of Coughs, Colds, Whooping
Cough, Croup, Sore Throat, Horse
ness, Aslhmu, Inflamalion of the
Lungs, &c, &c.
Pain in the Side and Breast, Bronchitis,
Shortness of Breath, and all diseases 'tend
ing to Pulmonary Consumption.
Prepared and 'sold by
W. HOLLINSHEAD, Druggist,
Stroudsburg, Pa.
PRICE 35 cts per Bottle.
March 22, 18G6. 3m.
Delaware, Lackawanna & Western
RAIL ROAD.
2 tXsr mzstTSZ
Spring Arrangement, Peb. 26, 1866.
PASSENGER TRAINS LEAVE.
"WESTWABD. I EASTVAUD.
Mnrningf Evin'g
Train. ( Train.
STATIONS.
.Momv
Trauf.
Even'g
Train.
I. M.
10.35
8.10
7J0
7.40
7 30
7 25
0.55 S)
A. M
T. Al.
9.005
11.30 1
11.47
i'-' io :
12,15!
12.15
12.55
4.00
T.5
7.22
7.34
7 54
I New York.
New Hampton.
Washington.
5.20
2.(13
1.50
1.45
1.311
1.30
1.03
oxford.
1 Hi id;
7.5U
$.50
8.20
S.45
S.53
9.10
C.20
9 r5
9.52
10. ! I
10.21
1O.S0
10 5S
11.10
11. :o
10.47
10.55
11.11
11.31
11.53
; Manunka Chunk.
v UcIkw.'iic,
c Moun: Hethel.
Water Gap.
Slroudsbing.
Sprnguevllic,
Ileniyville.
c Oakland.
: Foiks.
J Tobyhanna.
, Gou'ldsboro'
; .Moscow .
J Dunning.
. Gjcciivillc.
SCltANTON.
Clark's Summit,
I Abington.
F.tetoryville.
- Xh-linl'son.
Hoplm'tom,
M'iiiiroM'.
Nen Milford,
Great ilend,
AfZV k HIV,
" i:lr
' i.:jo
; 1.41
- 1.52
) 2.0S
: 2.ct
: 2.10
I 12.44
J 12.30
I 12.19
5 12.09
, 11.53
. o.ii;-;
j-a
oTo
! 11.35
I li.n.
i 11. .ID I
11.10 I
11.02 I
18.37 I
5.1 P
5.23a
: soo
3.23
! 33J
: 3.4S
4. H3
4.52
5.00
, 5.18
5. :
5 55
10.27
10.15
9 55
9.23
9.15
S59
S.35
S.1S
7.55
7.31
4.15
343.
3.40
3.25
3.02
2.47
2.20
2.07
1.50
'. 51.
0.20; 12.I.J
e.4if i2.a
7 00, 12.55
M. P.. 51.
.15
51.
'a:
CONNECTIONS; Westward.
The MORNING TRAIN from New York)
vrrvf.' i rTjTTtt,- -.i. ,i.iO
. . , I,. lii rr . n i
tra n leating Philadelphia (Kcnsinston Dc-!
. . .,na v, r ... ., ;
Tni) at ; JO a. m., end Grea iiond with the
, ' , . . .,
ihrouoh Mail Irani on the Lne Railway,
it itii sleeping car alt icncd, slopping at all
the principal stations on that read, and arri
vinir at Buffalo at 0. 10 a. m.
The Eenin Train from New York con
nects at Manunka Chunk wilh ihc train lea
ving Philadelphia (Kensing Depol) at 3.30
p. in.; arrives al Scranton at 1 1.U0, where it
remiius till 10.25 next morning, when it
leaves, arriving at Greal Bend al 12.55 p. m.,
comieciing- with the day Express on the
Erie Railway.
The Morning Train from Great Bend con
nects there with the Cincinnati Express on
i pnia ai o.ou p. r:i.; ana ai iew nampton
j vcuh a train for Edston, Bethlehem, Allen
; Jown, Reading and Jiarrisburg, arriving al
Harrisbiirg at 8.1)0 p. m.
The Evening Train from Great Bend con
nects there with the New York Express on
the Erie Railway from the West ; at Manun
ka Chunk with a train which runs to Belvi
dere, where il lies over until G o'clock ihc
next iiioniiiij; and at New Hampton with an
Extess Tr.-in for Eation, Bethlehem, Al
lenlovvn. Reading and liurn.-bu.-"-.
At SensMtttn, connections are made with
irains en the L'jckawanr.n and Blnnim-burg
; KailrornI to and inmi f iUtun, lvi:ij:ttoii,
j Wilkesbarre, Berwick. Bluomeburg, Danville
j Nurthtssjib'-rhuid, H.irrii-btir and iiilerme
I diule fetation, and With t ruins on lh Dela
ware and Hiidson Railroad to and from Car
boudaie and intermediate stations.
WATTS COOKE, Superintendent.
J!. A. JiENR Y, General Ticket Agent.
TERRIBLE EXCITEMENT l !
He fer .?4roiclsbfirg !
ALL ABOARD F0R-THE
ma o
tit T-r r. t
nv-L.Tc. nnTmnr s. nrrr t t . -t to
lit
SUOOn.. Mill IVIV-IV rV lijjjm 1M I
have oned a New Store for ihe sale of
DRUGS,
MEDICINES,
V; AT 'CUES,
CLOCKS,
and JEWELRY,
on Miiu-strect, in Stroudsburg, next door to
i the Post-office, where they have -on hand
the Jurgest auu best assortment ot
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, Drugs, Paints,
Oils, Varnishes, Glass, Sash, Doors,
Blinds, Brushes of all kinds, Per
fumery, Spices and Station
ary, ever offered for sale
in this County.
Cull and ha Coni'sncetS.
lht. That we have the largest and bestas'
sortment of choice goods in the market.
j 2d. We have all NEW GOODS.
1 3d. We are determined to please all who
favor us with .their patronage.
::i!rf : f tris! n a n i
nCB i BtH bUUUdi
I t M t! I I I f I 1 1 1 1
4th. We will sell lower than any other; Jacob K. Shafer, in Pleasant valley, m said
house in the Borouh. 'county, the following Real Estate, late of
Country Merchants and Physicians' orders 'Nathan B. Everitt,- of Polk township, de
will be filled at ihe lowest wholesale prices, j ceased.
Please call before purchashing elsewhere. 1st. A certain tract or niece of land situ-
NO CHARGE FOR SHOWING GOODS,
pahYngof Watches, Clocksand Jewelry, &c,
and all work warranted.
OCT" Particular at! en! ion paid to the rc
C. S. DETRICK,
P. S. WILLIAMS.
Stroudsburg, May 10, 186G.
JAS. F. MAXWELL,
MANUFACTURER OF
Fire and Water Proof Compos! lion
GRAVEL B00FS,
STROUDSBURG. PENN'A., '
ERPECTFULI.Y r-nlls f h nttuntinn of,
J persons about to build, not to fail in a-'
dop'mg our well-known modo of Roofing,!
ivliicJi i.s now nrincinallv nsnrl nn nlmnsr nil I
first-class buildings throughout the United i TLOHlt AND PEED of best quality? al
Slates. Our Roofs have all the i combined p m Jjand an(1 for 6a)c at TOKES
advantages of cheapnessand durability. Be- .,.i mmi i.
1 f ni.4tr.ht r inrn itz nnnn i?n rtnl
in summer nor so warm in winter. They
r, n nlrt rtO I-foX t 1 If tl rf IHlrf Wlltfr (1(1. IHIll I
are also perfectly fire and water proof, and
warranted to stand good at least for twenty
five years. Besides, they are put on at al
most half the cost of either tin, slate or shin
gles. Persons having old tin, slate or shin
gle Roofs leaking badly, can have them re
paired and made fully as good as new, with
out taking off any of the old Roofs.'
Address Box IN'o. 3, Posl-Umce,
April 5, 1865.
STROUDSBURG, PA.
Furniture ! Furniture !
McCarty's New Furniture Store,
DREIIER'S NEW BUILDING, two
doors below the Post-office, Strouds
burg, Pa. He is selling his Furniture 10
per cent, less than Easton or Washington
prices, to say nothing about freight or break
age. May 17, 18G6.-tf.
IF YOUWANT BEAUTIFUL SUIT
of Enameled Furuiture in Colors, iust
step into McCARTY'S.
May 17, 1866.-tf.
SF YOU WANT A GOOD PARLOR
n Suit in Rose, Mahogany or Walnut,
McCARTY has it. I'M ay 17, lS6G.-tf.
D,INING-Ri
- r-nut, Oak
ROOM FURNITURE in Wal
and White Ash, Extension
j Tables, any size you wish, at McCARTY'S
' new Ware-Rooms. May 17, ISGG.-tf.
COMMON CHAIRS of all kinds, Cane,
Flag and Wood Seats; Dining, 3kr-
ith or without
every descrip-
are-Rooms,
May 17, 1866.-1 f.
i TOSE AND GILT FRAMES made to
3l order. A fine lot of Ow.l Framps on
hand J. II. McCARTY.
' May 17, ISGG.-tf.
TP YOU WANT A GOOD MELODEONj
J. from one of the best makers in the Uni
ted States, solid Rosewood Case, warranted
VCar
call at. McCARTY'S, he would cs-
pcciallv invite -all who arc good judges ot
K, . ; , . ,,u, n .;n .u
Music to come and test them. He will sell
r . . , . , c.in ln,.fi,fl
-ou from anv maker you wish, bit) less than
, - iin Thn rpn-nn
is he buys for cash and sells for the same,
with less than one-half the usual per centage
lhat agents want. J. H. McCARTY.
May 7, ISGG.-tf.
ttndertakingIn ALL ITS BRAN
U dies.
Particular attention will be given to this
branch of the subscriber's business. He will
always study to please and consult the
wants and wishes of those who employ him,
1 From the number of years experience he has
(had in this branch of business he cannot and
will not not be excelled either in city or
country. Prices one-third less than is usual
ly charged, from 50 to 75 finihed Coffins al
ways on hand. Trimmings to suit the best
Hearse in the country. Funerals attended
at one hour's, notice. J. II. McCARTY.
May 17, ISGG.-tf.
"GREAT CHANCE F0U AtiEKTS.
WHAT THE PEOPLE WAKT !
be Standard History of the far,
Complete in one large Volume of over 1
000 Pages.
Splendidly Illustrated iciih ovcrlbd Fine
Fart raits of Generals, Battle
Scenes, Maps and Dia
grams. In the selection of matter for this great
work the author has conlincd himself to
strictly official data derived from the re
ports of Northern and Southern Generals,
the report of the Committee on the Con-
5. 1 1 'Room and Office Chairs. v
i 4? I Cushions, Rocking-Chairs of
4.32U ; tion at McCARTY'S YV
duct of the War, National and Rebel Ar-"( uses, something that is done times iunu
chiveSj &c. " merable.
lie has carefully avoided the iritroduc- We console ourselves by thinking that
tion of any matter notstric'Jy reliable and one can make of that newspaper what he
official, and has succeeded in producing j cannot make of living oaks a bridge for
what is universally demanded, ufair and time, that he can fling it over the chasm
impartial History of the War. The great j-of the dead years and walk safely back
suuenontv of this work over all others is
. " , ,l,Ti- 11
ev
ervwnerc acKnowieaueu. it-is uiaiKeu
by a degree of thoroughness and accura
cy attempted by no cotemporary.
Old agents, teachers, energetic young
men, and all in vapt of profitable employ
ment, should send at once for circulars,
and see why it sells faster and gives bet
ter satisfaction than any other History
published. Address,
JONES BROTHERS & CO.,
N-o. 507 Minor-Street Philadelphia, Pa.
May 31, 1S6G.-Im.
Orphans' Court Sale.
Y VIRTUE OF AN ORDER OF THE
Orphans' Court of Monroe county, there
will be sold at Public vendue, or out-cry, on
Saturday, the 23d day of June, 18GG,
at 2 o'clock, P. M., at the public house of
ate in Polk township, Monroe Co., adjoining
lands of Peter S. Hawk, Dewalt Fisher and
Kat,ian S!,UPP containing
28 Acres 78 livtilic
ICS,
all cleared but about three acres
2d. A tract or piece of land in said Polk
'township, adjoining the above, and land of
Nathan Shupp and Peter Hawk, containing
18 Acres,
jjllout four acres cleared, balance
Timber and Wood Land,
excepting however all the oak timber onthe
south side of the clear field on this tract.
Terms will be made known at the time of
sale u
CHARLES II. BARTHOLOMEW,
May 31, 18GG. Administrator.
J
HUNTSMAN & HOPLER.
A j, 1Q 18e&
'
rpiIE HIGHEST CASH PRICE paid for
JL Graijt at Stokes' old Mill, by
HUNTSMAN & HOPLER.
April 19, 18G6.
WANTED TWO GOOD CABINET
Y V MAKERS ober men, no other
need apply. J. II. McCARTY.
May 24, 1806.-tf.
Tho Printer and his Type.
The following beautiful extract is from
the pen of !3enj. F. Taylor, the printer
poet :
Perhaps thero is nor department of en
terprise whose details are less understood
by intelligent people than the "art preserv
ative" the achievement of types.
Lvery day, their life long, they are ac
customed to read the newspaper, to hnd i nesday, when a circus company made its ' tcr to be a Democrat, somewhat, but
fault with its statements, its arrangements, I appearance in town, and the lost horse was slightly, inclined to Copperhcadism, and
its looks; to plume themselves upon the recognized by several of our citizens, do-.' opposed to the "Radicals," but in the
discovery of some roguish and acrobatic ing duty in one of the baggage teams. main patriotic in his sentiments. Hap
typc that gets into a frolic and stands upon I Mr. C. was immediately informed ot the pening to light upon a couple of passages
its head; or of some waste letters or two in i fact and at once proceeded to look after of this volume relating to General John
it but or the process by which the news
paper is made, of the myriads of motions
and thousands of pieces necessary to its
composition, they know little and think
less.
They imagine they discourse of a won
der, indeed, when they speak of the fair
white carpet woven r thought to walk
on, of the. rags that fluttered on the back
of the beggar yesterday.
But there is something more wonder
ful still. When wc look at the hundred
and fifty-two little boxes, somewhat shad
ed with the touch of inky fingers, that
compose the printer's "case noise
less, except the clicking of the types, as
they take their places in growing line
we think wc have found the marvel of the
art.
We think how many fancies in frag
ments there arc in the boxes, how many
atoms of poetry and cloqueuce the prin
ter cau make here and there, if he oniy
had a little chart to work by, how many
facts in a small "handful!," how much
truth in chaos.
Now he picks up the scattered elements
until lie holds in his head a stanza of
"Grey's 'Elegy;" or a xmondly upon
Grimes "All Buttoned up before. Now
he "sets' a "puppy missing," aud now
"Paradise Lost;" he arrays a bride m
;,sma!l caps," and a sounct in "nonpa
reil;" he announces the languishing "live,"
in one sentence transposes .the words
and deplores the days that arc few and
"evil," in the next.
A poor jest ticks its way slowly into
the printer's baud, like a clock jnst running
down, aud a strain of eloquence marches
into line letter by letter. We fancy wc j
can fell the difference by hearing of the
ear, but perhaps not.
The types that told a wedding yester
day announces a burial to morrow per
haps the selfsame letters.
They are the elements to make a world
of those t-pes are, a world with some
thing in it as beautiful as spring, as rich
as summer, and as grand as autumu flow
ers that frost cannot wilt, fruit that shall
ripen for all time.
The newspaper has become the log
book of the age, it tells at what rate the
world isrunuing; we cannot find our "reck
oning" without it.
True, the green grocer may bundle up
a pound of candles, in our last expressed
thoughts, but it is only
comincr
to base
upon the shadowy sea into tnc nir past.
The singer shall not end his song, nor the
true soul be eloquent no more.
The realm of the press is enchanted
ground. Sometimes the editor has the
happiness of knowing that he has defend-
cd the right, exposed the wroug, protec
ted the weak ; that lie had given utter
ance to a sentiment that cheered some
body's solitary hour, made-somebody hap
pier, kindled a smile upon a sad face, or
hope on a heavy heart.
lie may meet with that sentiment many
years after it may loose all charm of its
paternity, but he feel affections for it.
He welcomes it as a long abseut child.
He reads it as for the first time, and
wonders if, indeed, he wrote it, for he has
changed since then. Perhaps he could
not give utterance to the sentiment now
perhaps he would not if he could.
It seems like the voice of his former
self calling to its parents, and there is
something mournful in its tone. He be
gins to think to remember why he wrote
it, where were his readers theu and whith
er they have gone what he was then, and
how much he has changed. So he muses,
until he. finds himself wondering if that
thought of his will continues to float after j Tho receipts ol the year were $o9J,JJ.
br, is dfind. and whether he is really look-! 07. Number of brothers relieved, 5'JbO ;
ing upon somethiug that will survive him. j
And then comes the sweet consciousness ;
that there is nothing in the seutence that
he could wish unwritten that it is abet-1
ter part of him a shred from a garment j
of immortality 1
e shall leave behind him i
when he joins the "innumerable caravan,"
and takes his place in the sileut halls of
death.
"There, John, that's twice you've conic
home and forgotten that lard." i
"T,n mntlio.r. it w:is en rreasv that it !
slipped my mind.
It is a great comfort to a man with butfbut did not like to, admit it; so, putting
a dollar in his pocket to know that if he: on ahold face, he said "That's all right."
caunot invest in five-twenties he can in " How so7" was the inquiry, 'H-t's all
twenty-fives.
A bit of paradox. When a shoemaker
is going to make a boot, the first -hM)gl
he uses is-the last. j
, ,
Tf n man rt?:mrth 'wlmtsnrivor lio sew-
LrkUj )l uuw I i a vv " V.UU IU I I Vl VV lVW
our tailors will have cue of these days.
A Stolen Horso Recovered. General Geary in History.
In th latter part of last September, From the Berks and Schuylkill Journal.
Peter M. Corrcll, livery stable keeper, in j Wc have before us the second and re
this borough, hired a bore and carriage to cently published volume of "The Great
a stranger, to go a few miles into the . Rebellion ; a History of the Civil War in
country. It turned out that tho said the United States' by T. J. Headley,
stranger was a horse thief and, notwith-1 the well known author of "Napoleon and
ing the large reward offered by Mr. Cor-' his Marshals," and "Washington and his
roll for the recovery of the property, noth- Generals." From many expressions to
- ing was ever heard of it until last Wed-
the "Grey." He fully satisfied himself
that the horse in question was the ident- ,
ical animal hired lrom him last fall, and
so informed the proprietor of the circus. ,
He, in turn, stated that he purchashed j
him last spring, from a man in Utica, !
New York, but if Mr. 0. could prove- that
the horse belonged to him, he. should!
, promptly deliver him up. Carroll did
this without difficulty and as a further ; where ucary was struggling against over
proof proposed to turn the horse loose on I whelming numbers. The fighting here
the street, at WhitesoH's Hotel, and if ho : was desperate, and several times he w-as
did not go to his stables he did not want , nearly overborne; but with that tcnaci
him. Accordingly the horse was strip- J ty which has always distinguished him,
ped of all harness and turned out, and ; he siill clung to his position, and at length
strange to sa', he not only found his way
to the stables but actually went into his
stall, notwithstanding it was now occu
pied by arfothcr horse. All parties were
satisfied that the horse belonged to Cor
rell and the circus left town with one
three-horse team, which had been a four-in-hand
when they arrived. Easton Sen
tinel, June 1th.
False Calves,
the following incident prove a
Let
warning
to- the delicate ladies ot our vi
cinity. The Cleavelauu, Ohio, Flam
dealer says :
v "We have a very startling arrival to
chronicle. 'False calves have come to
town !' They arrived a day or two ago.
There arc two kinds. One is stuffed with
hair the other with saw-dust, the latter
of course, being the cheapest. Tester af
ternoon a young lady with tilting-hoops
and false calves was perambulating
through the park, when one of the calves
burst. Our readers can imagine the rc
suit. The poor young lady could be tra
ced by a trail of saw-dust from House's
block to the post-ofSce. Excuse a tear
Thus the maiden, who entered the park
in form resembling the Ycnus de Medi
cis, emerged therefrom in a state of
spindle-shanked augularity ! Her great
mistake cousisted in not getting hair
calves they being less liable to burst,
and of a more pliable nature. Believe
us, dear ladies, if you will wear the
newfangled improvements on nature's pat
tern, that the hair style is the cheapest.
We presume the young lady fainted when
she learned the extent of her misfortune.
But, as an exchange says, what's the use
of railing at false calves they arc a mere
matter of form !
Pof. Hamilton, the horse tamer, of
Hagerstown, Ind.,is an original .genius,
and is as fond of a joke as he is of fresh
air. The other day on the train going
home from Cincinnati, he tried to raise
the window in the car where he was sit
ting, but could not move it. He called the
conductor to assist him, but with no bet-
ter result, instantly ne kuockcu the
pane of glass out with his cane, saying,
"Now wc will have a little fresh air."
;Sir," said the conductor, "you must
pay for that." " How much ?" asked the
professor. "One dollar," answered the
conductor. Prof. Hamilton passed him
two dollar bill. The conductor was
about to hand him back a dollar iu chaugc,
when the cool tamer of wild animals qui
etly said : " Never mind, I'll take anoth
er nane." and with a another stroko of
his cane let God's fresh atmosphere
iu through a second window. " Well,
exclaimed the conductor, "'you can't have
any more at that price. It's not first
cost-"
Odd Fellowship.
Prom the aunual report of this organi
zation, it appears that there arc in the
State of Pennsylvania. 470 lodges. Dur
ing the past year there were 1)107 initia
tions iuto the Order; number rejected,
911 ; admitted by card, 513 : withdraw
ing by card, 711; number reinstated, 747;
deaths, 5SS ; past grands, 8845 ; number
of members at present time, 51,778.
number of widows' fainiHcs relieved, (595;
number of brothers buried, 523 j amount
paid for relief of brothers, $118,107.57 ;
amount paid for relief of widows families,
11,507.10 ; amount paid for burial of
brothers, &dU,ai.ou ,- tuwu uimmuu pmu
for relief, 8100,510.08.
Bill S 1 is a good accouutant, but,
like all men, will sometimes make mis-
takes, and in one ot his bills hgureu up
" b times b are b&." a he deutor was not
slow in discovering the mistake and de-
mauded an explanation. Bill examined
the accouut and saw that it was "down,"
owing to the inflation of currency," said
' l?:il l: il. li;.Kn.,fi.Mi l.ililn Ul-rk nvnrt'.
elde ias gone up."
"Whose pigs ajo those,- my lad ?"
"Whoy, thoy belong to that there big
snw "No I mean, who 13 there mas-
ter?" "Whoy' ngain answered the lad.
! "that little 'un he's a rureun to fight!"
v nwiinv " n mil ft answered the lad.
be found in this book, wc i'ud-e the wri
V. Geary, now the Union candidate for
Governor of Pennsylvania, we concluded
to publish them for the benefit of such of
our readers as have not seen the book
In the author's account of the battle of
Wauhatchie, near Chattanooga, he says.
on page 261 :
"All this time heavy and incessant vol-
t leys of musketry arose from the Ispot
hurled the enemy back, compelling him
to take refuge on Lookout mountain.
The valley was now ours. Geary gained
new honors iu this hard-fought battle ;
but they were dearly won; for his sou, a
captain, was killed."
And on page 204, when describing the
battle of Lookout mountain, the writer
says again :
"At this juncture the scene became
one of the most exciting interest. The
thick fog which had heretofore rested in
dense folds upon the sides of the mountain,
concealing the combatants from view,
suddenly lifted to the summit of the lof
ty ridge, revealing to the anxiou3 gaze of
thousands in the valleys and on the plains
below a sconce such as is witnessed but
once in a century. Gen. Geary's columns,
flushed with victory, grappled with tho
foe upon the rocky ledges, and drove him
back with a slaughter from his works.
While the result .was uncertain the atten
tion was breathless and painful ; but when
victor' perched upon our standards shout
upon shout rent the air. The whole ar
m', with One account, broke out in joy
ous acclamations. Men were frantic with
joy, and even Gen. Thomas himself, who
seldom exhibits his emotions, said invol
untarily ; "I did not think it possible for
men to accomplish so much."
So much for the present, as to the writ
ten history of General Geary.
And while all his glorious struggle wa3
going on, where was Mr. Heister Ciymer ?
On this or any other battle-field risking
his life in the service of his country? Not
at all. But some one may say, perhaps,
he was, while at home, sustaining the Na
tional Administration in its efforts to
crush the rebellion which was threaten
ing the life of the nation. Perhaps he
was endeavoring to reconcile to the heavy
but necessary burdens which the war im
posed upon them. Perhaps he was cheer
ing men forward to fill up the ranks of
our diminished armies; doing all he could
to promote comfort to the soldiers aud
make the service as pleasant and honora
ble as possible. Had he been engaged iu
any of these praiseworthy objects, ho
should have due honor for his conduct,
even if it did not suit him to risk his com
fort aud life on the field of battle. But
his neighbors and acquaintances know
that he " eared for none of these things."
On the contrary, he acted with the fac
tion that was doing all in its power to
cripple the government in its efforts to
raise recruits and pay them ; the faction
that was endeavoring to promote discon
tent and sedition in the loyal States, and
to take from soldiers in the field the priv
ilege of voting; in short, doing all politi
cally that was calculated to please Yal
landigham and other traitors in the North
and rebels in the South.
Geary Clymcr. What a contrast !
And yet the Copperheads pretend to think
that the latter has some chance of elec
tion. Wc think that Geary's record' in
the war, and Clymcr's record in the Sen
ate and elsewhere, must be blotted from
pages of hitory before any such disaster
cau occur.
Remarkable Growth.
A " Down East" writer, expatiating on
the fertilizing properties of guano, gives
a veracious account of Kansas soil in tho
following : "A few hours after planting
cucumber seeds the dirt began to fly and
tho vines came up like a streak, and al
though he started off at the top of his
speed, the vines overtook and covered
him ; and on taking out his knife to cut
the darucd thing he found a largo cucum
ber gone to seed in his pocket."
.
A Pennsylvania seven-year old was re
proved lately for playing put door with
boys she was "too big for that now."
But with all imaginable iunocenco, sho
replied,
"Why, grandma, the bigger we grow
the better we like 'em !"
Grandma took timo to fhiuk.
Tho steamship Union, from Liverpool,
arrived at New York on Tuesday, with
cholera on board. There had been 33
deaths during the voyage.
If somo of tho speeches of our states
men do not roach down to posterity-it will
not be becauie they are not long enough.
Do all things
well.