THR
1 JL J I A
U1 n n n n i,m 1 1 m wii n , .i ..-..
Slcuotc& to politics, literature, Agriculture, Snenee, iWaralitn, attb. cncral Intelligence.
VOL. 25.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA MAY 3, 1886.
no: 8.
Published by Theodore Sehccfh
'Kf theyc"''l" sa"""f
cx r:i at the option of Uie Iwhlor.
7-ruc tjetitofono sqtirtrcof (eight lines) or
c sj, o-ie throe i?ert ions $150. Each additional
tenure, 50 cents. Longer onec in jiropoi turn.
- --
JFOtS SPSlE-iVTfiSfG.
of all kinds,
Executed in t higher U Arl.and onthc
xjnjuiui-i.
MXSTITITI05 WATER.
Thr astonishing success wh'ch has atten
ded this invaluable medicine proves it to be
t!ie most perfect remedy ever discovered.
IVo language can convey an adequate idea
t tko itnmvii.nir nnrf ainnt miraculous
vji ifiw - ... CTTC
ciiine which it occasions to the debilitated
and shattered system. Tn fact, i; stands un- SUGARS, COFFEES, TEAS,
rival Vd as a remedy for the permanent cure '. SPICES, FISH, PORK,
of mabbto, xsiroTKSCY, loss of muscular and a fuj assortment in that line,
i NEKt.y, physical PKosTKA.Tior, lN'Diors-. y0 ,ave Crockery Ware, Wooden Ware,
uios, jcok retr.tio.n, or incontinence of Willow Vftt rc, Hardware, a general assort-
IRIXE. IRRITATION, 1NTL.YX ATION T ULCER- rnent.
VIION OF THK BLADMHt AND KIDNEYS, U5S-, TOBACCO of all kinds,
uses of the prostrate GX.AN3, stone in . BOOTS A3.TD SHOES, and in fact al
TJii: bl.dikr, calculus, gravel, or naicn- ,nost everything that can be called for in a
i) i st nroerr,asid ail Diseases or AlFectioi.s completely stocked Store.
f t.'ie BladJer and Kidney?, and Dropsical Cajj and sec for yourselves. We take
fuvrllings existing in &cn, Women, or ChiJ-1 p5casnre in showing goods without price,
'-re-n. f-snd car. sell you calicoes from 12A cents to
Fov Ikosu JDiscavci Pe? suia' to '2 cents per yard, and everything else pro
Fi'iissWt;, Cttli!RSMHi Va- ! portiona'ply Qty.
tertH Sx'rtts2 It?Sat- i We feel duly thankful for the many evi
ody. jdences oi already received appreciation of
These In-?plrit"?s are ihz cause of ire-'our elraris to knock down war prices, and
c-i irlv recurring dieetsr. through ne- can assure the public that there is still room
tIcci tire seeds of inor Jravc and Jr.nger-, for a few more evidences of the same sort.
Tn miladits re Wie result; and as month Don't forget the place and give us a call.
ultcr monih passe without
L an effort being
ir.aile to assist nature, the difficulty becomes,
t'.ronic, the patient gradually loess her ap-
jrtito, the bowels ere constipated, mgatj
sni a's come cm, and consumption finally ;
mis her career.
Tor iale by ail Druggie?. Price, $1.
W. II. GREGG &, CO.. proprir tors.
MORGAN & ALLEN,
General Aents, No. 46 Cliff street, N. X
Win. I!olliKihead, Agent, Siroudj&urg,Pa
-uary 1, lS66.-6m.
Irairtnt te Ever j j.
T !,iilfcribers would inform the public; en r mock oi iv. o. OfAiT.ES, anu asso
v :-;cttfu Iv, that they are carrying on 't-iatcjl themselves together as co-partners
.' j uadr the name of
ISiro! nutiness j SMILEY & WALTOX,
-ct thir old stand, one door al.ove the! For the prno?e of carrying on the Mer-r.:k-profcs
Office, on Elizabeth St., St roisds-jean tile trade iu all its braucc, at the well
. rj, Pa., where ihey will be happy to'fcaowo stand lately occupied by li. S.
cm their old easfamsers, kk6 as my j SJt.lvLi'S. Vve have already added to our
r on5 can make it coovuaietit to call. J rmw siecfc a fresh fapnly of
BOOTS & SHOES,
: icn women, utfeswfjind digress wear,
. ..vcr Shoes and Sandal for men, youth
: i iissee. A gcneml
! Boot-Treca, sioe
..,. Piacere. Punches
Its, Pegs ainl Peg-Cuitcre-, '!oe Ilam-j p
r-. Crimping Boards and .Screws, also, li-
r, -..nA titnrfmir pkiaT. a cmJ article of;
Ti iipico Boot Morocco, French MorocoanS
l renctt oaiTaKins, Jung uu -.j
' . ...- t . i ! ,! i-..a
v...(. av, and Frank Miners
i A Li ;ckiiiff. All of which ihar
at proal! advance upon cost.
c , no cnaree idt emrm tuzz we.
S. Boots and Shoes made order ad
" CHARJJS3 WATiXS & SON.
S'
cuJbnrg, Jan. 16,
of CHARLES B. KELLER.
' i 'lowmtf named st'icriw ankle ,o)ea;
f : Cislj. 1 hare lis fasww aeeortiueitt of
5$fis 4 Sh?)
: r Mra. Woxen and UMUMtra n wear that j
L-severbee offered fa Umn, oowrstiwgoi
'fit's, B, and Cjitin'rea Beet,
Xf'xee' tfe tf o io
CJ.ifdre' do do do
"Worn Merec PUUk iio
7'Ve' fe JP
( le'MrtHS do de do
Ticre are a new ad beaatifbl style of
1 bread, ux, tteel snau iw.c uiu wocci i-i it.
Lni i.-s Bte of the fiaeat qpiahty, aad just ( in a manner that cannot fail to prove satis
:.ttod for cokl weather. ALo, afine aseort-j factory to all who favor him with palron
nsxii of Cokmok Shoes, for Women, Misses ;agc.
t:L'I Children. j Prices moderate.
Also, a splendid assortment of Gums anaj
Sanda.ls fir Mei, Women and children.
I have also a fine assortment of
Lilian and Woolen Shirts,
cf a superior quality, together with Stock
i.N&s. Xucx-Tius, Collars, &c.
Aho, a qoantity of the best quality of j
Heavy and Liffht SOLE-LEATHER; to
grtLtr with a lot of the best Mex's and!
SaSili
runxcn Monocco
Lasts-. Boot-Trees of
uue, sincere, l'unciies, ijwiut-sui, iiiiu j-ij -
kit?, Peg Cutters and Shoemakers inK, ccc,
&c. Store opposite Marsh's Hotel.
CHARLES B. KELLER.
Stroudabarg, Nov. 30, 1865.
Saddle and Harness
Manufactory.
The' undersigned respectfully informs
the citizens of Stroudsburg, and surroun
ding country, that be has couimeuced the
above business in Fowler's building, on
Elizabeth street, aud is fully prepared to
furnish any article in his line of business,
at short notice. Ou baud at all times, a
large stock of
Jfarncs, Whips, TninJcs, Valiccs, Car
pet Bags, Ilor&c-Blankets, Bells,
Slutics, Oil Cloths, &c.
Carriage Trimming promptly attended
JOHN 0. SAYLOIl.
Stroudsburg, Dec 14, 183 1.
1 iibluftHtfUUa j&AtfilkldTiLdti .
Death o moll Yncm
O
, . .
. Up TOWil 111 Si BlaZe !
,
METZGAR & STORM, respectfully in-
form the public that the days of imposition
prices have gone by in Stroudsburg, for the
proof of which they invite their frieds, from
uoui town ana county, to can at tneir new
Store, on Llizabeth Street, m Stroudsburg,
one door below the Indian Queen Hotel, ex
amine their goods and learn how low they
sell them.
We have DRY GOODS in almost endless
variety,
Cioths, assi meres and Veslings,
Caiicoes, Mains and MusSiiss
TriniraiBgs and Notions
J
and everything1 in that line.
We have GROCERIES and PROVIS-
J . 1'. m b i Zti A it,
aiarch 29, 156G.
JEROME STOR.U.
CHEAP GOODS
r3
AEE IS'OW OFFERED BY A
KEW FIRM,
SMILf & WALTON,
(StCOKSSOUS TO. 11. S. STAPLES.)
The subscribers would hereby inform
their friends and the public generally,
that they have recently uurchased the
STYLES.
Our goods'were bought low, since the
'-efe;ry Ware,
In short, we mean to keen every thing i
- . . .
e
us '
with their patro:i'ii:e. Come and see us. j
3! ORRIS S3IILEY.
JOS. T. W ALTON.
: Stroudbur. Pa., March 22, I860.
iCftkef Maker. Uadertak-
&e.
:s Prepared nih a Large Stock of
Q A BINET WARE
- nnn Mm
I .. .... :.
I will iiimmiav-iui t; w muti uujujiHy in
...111 .Hn Cm r t mn tn s . ti nnirlliinnr in
I his line, in the latest styles to suit the taste
'of customers.
i All work made of the best material and
warranted.
lie is also prepare!, with material and
fixtures, to attend to the business of
j T'rf) 777? TA lilNfl-
Shop and Ware-Room on the corner of
Sarah and feunpson bts..
April 5, 18GG. STROUDSBURG, PA.
Greatest Coicgi Hicdicinc
TA THE V.'OltLD,
COMPOUND SYRUP Or
W Cherryaiid Haarhound,
xui ; ut iy tr.iu...,
Cough, Croup, Sore Throat, Horse
ness, Asthma, Infiamalion of lite
Lungs, &.c, &c.
Pain in the Side and Breast, Bronchitis,
Shortness of Breath, and all diseases tend
ing to Pulmonary Consumption.
Prepared and sold by
' " W. HOLLINSHEAD, Druggist,
Stroudsburg, Pa.
PRICE 35 cts per Bottle.
March 22, I860. 3m-
WANTED.
'Board Among ike fflfomilaSusi
17011 A FAMILY of 7 persons, (3 grown
aatwhueii jUsiiaie uecune in prices, ana our customers
Eyclettsand ive-i W e aisokeep a juli assortment ol choice
itiiat coitslitute a first elsas country store
water- orooi i .... , v .
Offer fori jSUIJC S.i,iiS WC UU UUUtiitUI IU
. i n ' r. , . a tnti r -ill tt t r f i "n r
JL persons, 3 children and one servant,;
from about the middle of June until Septem
ber. Please state location, how near R R.
Station, lowest terms, &c. Address
S. A. M., Box 671, Station D.
PHILADELPHIA, Pa.
April 19, 1866.
TRIP LIGHTLY.
Trip lightly over trouble,
Trip lightly over wrong;
We only make grief double
By dwelling on it long.
Why clasp woe's hands so tightly,
Why sigh o'er blossoms dead 1
Why cling to forms unsightly?
Why not seek joy instead!
Trip lightly over sorrow,
Though all the days be dark,
The sun may shine to-morrow,
And gaity sing the lark;
Fair hope has not departed
Though roses may have fled ;
Then never be down-hearted,
Rut look for joy instead.
Trip lightly over sadness,
Stand not to rail at doom ;
We've pearls to string, of gladness,
On this side of the tomb.
Whilst stars are nightly shining,
And heaven is overhead,
Encourage not repining,
Gut look for joy instead.
H.0W THE MONEY GOES.
How goes the money ? Well,
Pin sure it isn't hard to tell :
j It goes for rents and water rates,
lor bread and butter, coal and grates,
Hats, caps and carpets, hoops and hose;
And that's the way the money goes.
How goes the money ? Nay,
Don't everybody know the way ?
It goes for bonnets, coats and capes,
Silks, satins, muslins, velvet, crapes,
Shawls, ribbons, furs, furbelows,
And that's the way the money goes.
How goes the money ! Sure,
I ivish the ways were somewhat fewer !
It goes for wages, taxes, debts ;
It goes for presents, goes for bets,
For paints, pomade and can dc rose;
And that's the way the money goes.
How goes the money? Now
I've scarce begun to mention how ;
It goes for feathers, laces, rings,
Toy dolls and other baby things,
Whips, whistles, candies, bells and bows;
And that's the way the money goes.
How goes the money ? There,
I'm out of patience I declare !
It goes for plays, and diamond pins,
For public aims and private sins",
For hollow shams and silly-shows;
And that's the way the money goes.
Advice to Young Hen.
It behoves all young men to mark out
their course early in life, aud to pursue
that course zealously. Iu a few words
that they should form a system of rules
and adhere to those rules with constant
firmness. '
1st." That all young men should pay
strict attention to religious exercises, that
they train their minds to those things
that appertain to goodness and greatuess,
aud magnanimity.
2nd. That to. be useful they should
study, and apply themselves with dili
gence, to learn everything that will con
tribute to the prosperity of their country
and the good of mankind.
3rd. That honesty, good conduct, vir
tue, and geutlemanly deportment at all
times and places, should be their highest
aspiration.
4th. That they never deviate from the
path of duty, aud that they always con
fine themselves to Use truth.
5th. That Ihey abstain from all intem
perate habits, and discard everything
that has a tendency to demoralization.
Gth. .That they strive to gain wisdom
and to create within themselves a spirit
of firmness, determination, patience, per
severance, endurance and forbearance.
7th. That energy and industry is essen
tial for the promotion of health and pros
perity. These rules, adhered to, young friends
will find you, at the end of life, happy
aud proud of the honorable course you
have pursued.
.
A Lesson for East Youngj Men.
A Miort time ago, a mau, named Doct.
John W. Hughes, was haned, at Cleve
land, Ohio, whose fate teaches a salutary
lesson. He was a man of good family,
well educated Jhad an honorable profes
sion, and, at one" time, a good social posi
tion. J5ut lie seems to have ruiued liim-j
self by licjuor and bad company. Under
these influences he became thoroughly
demoralized. He was held by uo con
science whatever. Having a good wife
and a child, he married another womau.
almost in the presence of his family.
For this crime he was tried, couvicted,
and sent to the penitentiary. His injur
ed v.'ilc procured him a pardon for this,
butjrfcstcad of being grateful to her, he
abused her in the most false and heartless
manuer, and went oil to seek the woman
he had injured. Having found her, he
deliberately shot her through her heart
because she refused to live with him.
Fortius he was tried and hanged. On
the scaffold he alluded to his advantages
iu life, his education, the wealth and po
sition of his family; but all these; he said,
he had allowed to be overcome by indul
gence iu drink and bad company. What
a lesson !
A horrible murder was committed near
'Warsaw, Richmond county Va.,fon the
morning of March 3d inst. A man by
the name of Julius Hall went into a kitch
en where a colored woman aud her three
children were, and with an ase killed
them all.
Bc diligent in all things aud fprospen-
DEATH SENSATIONS.
BY A SHERIFF.
"Every one must die at some time and
I suppose it matters little m what iorin
the end comes.
So spake John Gibson, one of a party
of friends who were crathered around a
genial firo in the rooms of our mutual
frieud, the Sheriff of L . ,
" I don't know," said the Sheriff j but
it always struck me that it does matter
how the end comes.
" If 3'ou must die," said Gibson, what
is it to you, after a few brief minutes ?"
"Very true," responded the Sheriff-
d A ninn'o 1 1 f"ra i c? ncilir fL-nn onil nil
A-. UiUU Ill V lO LUJi i J fctAUWUj UliU 111
modes have the same result. But then,
I think one ouyrht to consider the amount
of suffering or
method."
disgrace iuvolved in the
" Most persons, I suppose, would pre
fer to die in their beds," said Gibson.
"This I do not refer to however I
speak of death by violence. If I were
doomed to death, I would be careless as
to the means used."
"You think so, now," remarked the
Sheriff, "but if it should come to the
scratch, I think you would shuu death that
involved suffering."
"Don't all the modes known involve
suffering V
"The majority, but not all. For in
stance being guillotined would be far
preferable to being burned at the stake
Indeed, the guillotine is really a humane
mode of punishment The knife drops,
the victim feels a cold pressure ou the
neck, and then all is over.
"You are quite eloquent," said Gibson,
laughing. ' " What do you think of the
garotte V
"I have been told that method was not
a torture, was tne reply, "imiuent
pln'sicians have iuformed me that, besides
a slight choking sensation, there is no
pain in this method The horrible con
tortion, aud blackening of the face, has
caused many to think the garrotte a fear-
full torture; but these changes in the
-face are accounted for on the simplest
grounds."
"So much for these, said Gibson
smiling. "Now tell us your favorite (if I
may use the expression) mode of puuish
incnt." "But for the shame which attends it, I
should prefer hanging," replied the Sher
iff.
"Upon what grounds ?"
"It is the easiest, and 'least painful
method known."
" How do you know this V
"I once had a description of the whole
affair from'a man who was huug."
The party burst into a laugh ; but the
Sheriff's face did not relax a muscle.
"A joke's a joke, Campbell," exclaim
ed Gibson, "but this yarn is rather too
much fdr our credulity."
"Nevertheless it is true," replied the
Sheriff ; "and if you want the matter ex
plained, I may as well tell you the whole
story."
"Very good," said Gibson. "Let's
have a good one, it will take a tough yarn
to sustain your assertion."
The Sheriff laughed good-humordly.
" Wait till you hear it," he began.
"Ten years ago I was elected Sheriff of
this county. My first attempt at open
mg court was made
during ah important
trial. The criminal was a depraved, des
perate wretch, who had been indicted for
a brutal and atrocious murder. The fel
low was greatly hardened, aud seemed to j
care but little how the trial resulted. The
evidence was strong against him; and
when the case was submitted to the jury,
they returned a verdict of'" Guilty," with
out leaving their seats.
"The execution was fixed for a certain
day, two weeks after the trial. Of course,
it was my duty, as Sheriff, to put the rope
around the fellow's neck and launch him
into eternity. It was a distasteful duty,
I assure you ; for, though I knew full well
the man deserved his death, I did not
relish, the idea of hanging him. I got
through with it, however, and sent him
dancing on air. He did not struggle
much, and I thought he had an easy
death. After hanging the usual time
aud being pronounced dead, he has cut
down, aud his body given to his friends
for interment. I thought I had seen the
last of the man, as the wagon containing
the body drove out of the jail-yard, but I
wan mistaken.
"About four months after the execu
tion, I happened to be passing my barn,
when I saw a man sitting in the doorway.,
with his head resting on his hands. I
did not like his look, so I approached him,
and asked him what he wanted there.
He, raised iu head, and looked at me in
silence. I am not given "lo superstition",
and I don't thiuk I am very timid, but
felt my blood grow icy cold, as I recog
nized in the mau before mo tho person
whose execution I had conducted. Ilia
face showed no traces of his violent end j
and the only indication of it, now visible,
was a slight disfigurement of tho neck.
I scarcely knew what to say or think, for
Iliad seen him hung, and heard him pro
nounced dead, and.had delivered his body
to his friends for burial ; and yet after a
lapse of four months, there he sat, look-
ino- at me with a face as white as a sheet.
The terror that was exhibited in his coun
tenanco convinced me that he was uo ghost;
so I asked him, with as much coolness as
I could command. 'Jack Larkins, do you
know me t
, " You're the man that hung me," he
replied doggedly, at the same time mov
ing away
"I covered him with my pistol, and :
told him if he would move a foot I would though that is not his baptismal name.
shoot him." j The other night a crowd met in the tavern-
" He paused and looked at me fixedly. . as usual, and from war aud the hard times
"'What do you menu to do with me?'" , the conversation turned upon railroad dis
hc asked. "Do you mean to hang me ; asters, and what had'heen realized from
again. . j them. A hundred of examples were cited
" It was strickly speaking, my duty to , ofpersons who had laid the foundation
arrest the fellow; but I could not do it. of a fortune by money received from rail
The idea. of having to hang him again ! roaJ companies as the price of broken
was revolting, and I determined to let him limbs and lacerated bodies. After a while
escape. I told him if he would promise 'Ic opened :
to leave the neighborhood, and nevercomc "Well gentlemen," said he, "I got a
back again,-1 would let him go. This he thousand dollars out of a railroad com
readily promised, and assured me that he ! VJ out" W.cst about twenty ycare ago
would never cross my path again, as noth-,' and didn't receive no damage from the
but a mere chanc6 had led him to cucoufl- j smashing up, neither."
ter me this time. j "How was that, Joe?" inquired tho
"Before you go, Larkins," said I, "T: landlord; "I don't see how- you can
wnnhl lik R tn hear how vou cheated the make that out."
gallows.
"You
wou't peach on any of them folks
I. will you 7"'-he asked.
as Helped, will you
"No," I replied: I will not get them
into any trouble. I simply wish to know
how you felt while vou were
Hanging,
and how you were resuscitated.
He hesitated for some time, but upon
a renewal of my assurance that none of
his friends should be molested, told me
the following stor-:
" v hen x put the rope around his neck
and left him on the gallows, he felt a
faintness about the heart, caused by his
realizing his fearful situation, for the first
time ; but before he had time to think, the
trap was sprung, aud he fell through the
opening. The shock of the fall was rath
er startling than painful and did not pro
duce cither iusensiLility or confusion.
Ilis thoughts were remarkably clear, and
he seemed to have the power of seeing
far above, and around him.E very thing
assumed a bright vermillion hue ; and a
soft dreamy languor gradually stole over
him until he became insensible. There
was nothing painful or unpleasant in any
thing he had undergone. -He seemed to
be sinking gently into a delicious sleep,
and all his thoughts were pleasant. The
next thing he remembered, was being
wrung by the most agonizing torture.
The pains were not confined to auy par
ticular place, but extended through the
whole body. His first thought was that
he was in perdition, and was suffering the
penalties of his crimes, xhe pains in
creased each moment, and at last became
so iutensc that he started to his feet with
scream of anguish, at the same time
opening his eyes. Great was the surprise
to find himself in his father s house, m
the midst of his friends and relatives. He
fainted at once and when he recovered,
found himself iu his own bed. As soon
as it was thought safe to do so, his friends
informed him that, upon bnngtng his
body home, they had determined to try
to resuscitate it, although they feared it
would be useless. They worked faithful
ly, aud.at last succeeded.
"But sir, said the man in conclusion
"coming to life
again
was much worse
than dying."
"The man promised to leave the State,
aud try to do better. I had but little confi
dence in him, yetj let him go. He kept
his word, however, aud a short time ago 1
heard he was a well-to-do farmer iu oue
of the territories.
"This, gentlemen: is the manner in
which I got my ideas about "hanging, and
I thiuk yeu, must admit their force."
.
A country lad, who recently visited the
city for the first time gives his views of the
adics in this way : "bomcwhere m every
circumference of slikand velvet that wrig
gles along there's a woman, I 3'pose ; but
how much of the holler :s filled m with.
meat, and how much is gammon, the spec
tator dun no. A feller mam's a wife, and
finds, when it comes to the p'int, that he
has nothin in his arms but rcg lar ana
tomy. If men is gay desecvers, wot's to
be said of the female that dresses for a
undred and forty weight, but hasn't
rccly as much fat on her as would grease
a griddle ? all the aparient plumpness
consisting of cotton and whaloboue.
"I was a sugar planter once, but I
didn't make anything by it," said a Yan
kee ostler to a company of Maine capital
ists whom fie overheard talkiug on the
hotel steps about going South to buy up
plantations, and work them on a large ;
KfJllft." i
"You a sugar-planter, Josh ?" exclaim-
OX '
ed one of the capitalists, with great sur-
prise
"when was that? Tell us what
you know about it."
" Twas when I buried my oiu sweat-
heart."
Brains.
Gov. Trumbull, of Connecticut, on the
occasion of a grand riot ascended a block,
and attempted by a speech to quiet tho ; At this rate the operators do not-realize
people, when a raudom missilo hit him ! over 2.50 to $3.50 a ton. It seems rat li
on the head, felling him to tho ground. er singular that, notwithstanding the low
He was badly hurt, and as iricnds were
eiirrving him into'the house, his wife met
him at the door and exclaimed
. . . '
"Why, my husband, they have knock
ed your brains out !"
"No they haven't," said, the Governor,
"if I'd had any I should'nt llavo gone
there;"
Bricks,
A Paris arehitegt is said to have in
vented a brielc that hardens with time,
and' completely resists' humidity. Wo
have had a species of "brick" in this coun
try, for manv years, that hardens' with
time and is perfectly impervious,
to water.
at least
iilaking the Host of a Wife.
In one of the western towns there is a
character known as "Joe Rackstock," al-
"Well," returned Joe, "Ihadi'ust about;
f one ol' the laziest and most or'nary wives
t a poor fellow ever got stuck on. Sho
wasn't wuth shucks. She would work
till she shivered, and eat till she sweated.
Ilows'cver the poor critef's gone under
now. and I don't know as I oughter say
any thing agin her. Well about twenty
years ago her and me was traveling in a
train out Wost. I was dreffuly down in
the mouth. Jest as I was tryin' to fix:
on to some method of raising the wind,
suddintly the train was brought up all
standiu,' andthc splinters was flying in
every direction. In two minutes passen
gers was laying around loose, groanin' and
hollerin' for help, and there was an orful
time generally. As luck would have it,
neither uie nor the old woman wa3 hurt
a mite, but as I looked at her, the idea
suddiutly occurred to me there was a
chance to make something off of her. So
says I, "Deb, you've never bin no'count
to me, and I think it is high time yer was.
I have got a chance to make something
onto yer now, andTra goin' to do it, and
I hope yer wau't make no fuss about it,
but stand up to the rack aud take your
foider like a woman. Here goes !" and
as I spoke I fetched her an old socker
plum one the nose and squashed it as flat
as if a cartwheel had passed over it.
"Now," saz I, "howl, Deb! But re
member, you 'ceived year damages from
a flying splinter, and not from my fist I"
She tuck my advice, and that lick fotched
us a thousand dollars damages."
"But," he said, heaving a deep sigh,
"wot was the use of all"? The money's
all gone now, and I'm as dry as ever.
Who's going to licker ?" ;
A Happy Woman.
"What are you siuging for?" said"!
to Mary Malone'.
"Oh, I don't know ma'am, withdut it
is because my heart feels so happy." t
"Happy, arc you haypj- ? Why, let
me see, you dou't own a foot of land in
the world."
"Foot of land is it ?" she cried with a
loud laugh : "Oh, what a hand ye. are
after a joke. Why, sure, I've never a
penny, let alone a foot of land."
"Your mother is dead ?"
"God rest her sowl, yis," replied Mary,
with a touch of genuine pathos. "
"The Heavens be jier bed."
"Your brother is still a hard case, I
suppose ?"
"Ye may well say that. - It's "nothing
but drink, driuk, and bate his wife poor
crayturc." -
"You have to pay your sister's board ?"
"Sure, the bit crayturc ! and she's-a
good little girl, is Hinny, williu' to . 'd'o
whatever I axes her. I don t
the money that goes for that."
grudge
"And you haven't many fashionable
dresses, either ?"
"Fasirnable, is it 1 Oh yis, I put a
bit of whalebone iu me skirt, aud me calico
gown spreads as big as the leddies. But
then you say true; I havcu't but two
gowns to me back, two shoes to me feet,
and no bunnit, barrin' me Old hood-"
"You haven't any lover,?
"Oh, be off wid yez 1 catch.Mary Malo
ny wid a lover these days, when thediard
times is come." .
"AY hat on earth have you to make you
happy ? A drunken bro.ther, apoor help
less si&ter, no mother, no love why
where do you get all your happiness ?"
' "The Lord be praised, miss, it growed
up in me. Give me a bit of sunshine, a
J clean flure, pleuty of work, aud a sup at -
the right time, aud I in made. That
makes mo laugh and sing. And thin, it
T-..Y 1-
; troubles come, t try to Kocp-my ncartup,
' Sure, it would be a sad thiag it Patrick
McGuirc should take it in his head to as
me ; but, the Lord willin,' I'd try tobear
up under it. .-.-.
i
The Pottsville Miners' Journal- says
, that coal i$ now soiling in that region as
; jow as it did in 'the "first, year of the war.
price of coal at the mines, the ue".lers
thv.-mfrhnut iha ennntrv still sell the iru-
, O"- 1 s-r
cle almost at war prices;
. A Coquettish Climate,
The editor of a paper published in the
mountains of California tells ofgather
ing wild flowers in tho tuoruiug, and wad
in" through snow in the evening. , , .
Never tread on the tail of a, oat, tell
a woman she ia not haudsouYe, unless
you arov fo nd of inusiov .Jfa. ,
A dospeptio man thinks raoroosf,hiciifi
iu a week thuu a well person doeVm a,
je.tr.
j ty will follow.