Tl 1 1 p 1 1 J AJ H5HE JDcuotcir -to politics, literature, Agriculture Sricncc, iltoralit (tub (General 3ntclligext& VOL. 24. STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA OCTOBER !93 185- NO. 33. Published by. Theodore Schoch. TERUS-T w o dollars a yrar in auvancc-and ir no paid before the end of the yesu, two dollars and fitly ots. will bo charged. .... ..I JOS PRINTING, of all kinds, ermitrJ in till hiirhpsl. slvln nf thf A rl . nd on tliB most reasorriole terms. LET THE ANGELS IN. Open wide the door, mother, And let the angels in: They are so bright and fair, mother, So pure and free froth sin. 1 hear them speak my name, mother, They softley whisper, "Cornel" t) ! Ifet the angels hi, mother, They Wail to take rne home. I know that death has come, mother, His hand is on my brow; You canot keep me here, mother Yes, I must leave ycu now. The room is growing1 dark, mother I thought I heard 3'o-i weep; Tis very sweet io die, mother, Like sinking into sleep! I now must say farewell! mother, For I am going hume I Kow cpen wide the door, mother, And let the angels in ! Giants. In the time of Augustus Cajsnr there were Iwo persons living in Rai:m called Idusio 1 nnd Secudih, each of whom e.vc -cded ten feet in height. Their bodies, after death, were kept amlprcserved as miracles of curi osity in a sppulcher within the SuMestian gardens, Pliny names a ceriaui unuara, ,.n ?n thr. l:jvs.,f ni.iti.Iius was brought out . paper discontintica"iii;"'ics:. ii.u, room, ana complaining fcrcept at the option of the bditor. r o . g3vJ-ertie.nentsofone squarcof (c:ghthnci)or 01 our destiny. less, one or three mscriions 51 su. tacii aaumonai. "Without BsertlVII. JO Cents. ius;i unra 111 iiiiiivuivu. ! . r -.-r- said George 1 of Arabia; and says ho was nine feit nine slightly excited by the fumes of a bowl inches high. The Emperor Maximin, orig- of punch which I had sent for to do hon inally a Thracian peasnni, measured eight or (0 the test.stor lost no time in cou feet "and l.alf. His wife's bracelets served him ; cocting and afterwards publishing a full as rings. His voracity such that he consumed jacC0llIVt -,n a local newspaper of the for fortv nounds of flesh daily, and drank 18 bot lies nf wine. His slre.-gth was proportion-! able to hia gigantic shape, lie could draw ipe. a loaded wagon without help, and with a blow ofhis fist oitimes broKe tt:e tectn in a ; ueavorcu to uucieceive tnem, but mey -1 horse's mouth. He also crushed the hard-' would not take a denial. In vain I as rft stones bitween his fingers, and clefi trees !Surcd them it was a hoax. It was no with his hands. Pliny alsi sp-aks of Poly-: use Several persons remembered mv demos, a celebrated athlete, who exceeded I Ja-nes Verv well, and had seeu him "At men OI HIS liny IW suiuul- uiiu hi ft-:iit:iu. ! . . . -.i 1. - i.:n.i .. 1: , . i,: .iaL in jLount uiynipus lie Miieu 11 nui. v.nn i:m , lWn!,fstnn a pl.ariot with his hand in itSiowea a s11 sum W,11C not 4U11U 1 H. 1 1 1 UII1IIUI iu.il tt.tia ... v.t- . .... Tiio-t rapid course Once he singled out ibe largest and fieicest bull from a Jierd took hold of him by one of his hmd leet, and notwithstanding his struggles to escape, held him with such strenght that his hcoi remain-; cd in his hand An Irish "Woman in Kansas. A letter from Wydandottc relates a remark atle instance of success under difficulties as; follows : In ISfiO, an Irsh woman n widow whose only means consisted of four hundred dollars in money, some half dozen children took one hundred and sixty acres of Govern ment land. Since then she has increased this by the assktance of her children and now owns 1. ilOO acr. s, all paid for. This year she sold Imr 'nutter, for SSOO. She has recently sold the balance of her last year's corn crop, 1,- 200 bushels, for $2 50 a bushel; which is 100. Lat week she sold 22 head of oxen for S75 each, for .$l,Gtf0. So that lhc pro- duce of the farm, over and above keeping Uie family, had over 0.000. She lias noj.j Q(l j ga5d noti,-lQg more on hand 100 head of cattle of all sizes; for 23 . of which she refused S50 each. She had 20 ; 'Oly cear sir," said my next visitor "I firkins of butter in the ecler, which avarage have a great favor to ask of you. 13uy 120 lbs. each ; and which she says she will j my house. You are very rich ; you must get 75 cents per pound, by taking it to some ; be on the look-out fur safe and profitable of the posts higher up. She has, also, hogs in j iu vestments Sixty thousands francs are abundance, and G5 acres of growing corn, ! IIOthing for you a mere fraction of your iind which will produce tiV bushels 10 anjacomef With me the case is different. .acre. .. 1M AUAn4.An 1.1, f it IL' j.uvru.iiy uuc 1.. 11.. . A man coming home late 0:1c nights litle snore than "half yorked feeling thirsty, procured a glass of "water and drank it In !doing so he swallowed a ball of silk that Jay in the bottom of the tumbler, the end catching in his teeth. Feeling something in his mouth and not knowing what it was, he began pulling at the end, and the ball had several feet in his hand, he shouted at the top of his voice: j -o' : . . . "Wife ! wife ! I say wife, come down here : ! 1 am all unraveling.' a i;i !l,rniio-l, New HamDshirei . I '"--'"fc i observed the following notice on a board ''Horses taken in to grass. Long tails three! filuHinrrsixDence, short tails two shillings. The ladv asked the owner , . , , .1 OI Hie liiiiu iiiu reason for the difference ot the price, lie answered : "You see ma'ma the long tails can brush away the flies; but the short tails are so tormented by Uiem that they can hard - jy eat at an. . Pittsburg is a queer place. Thcotherday three menwent into a lager beer saloon, and two commenced catching all the flies therein, ,..1.: i fi tliirrl ntn thn inser.ts as fast as . - nunc; uiv v.... - caught on a bet that he could eat thoo quicker than his companions could eaten thpm Thev were arrested and fined three dollars each for the fun. A red nosed gentlemen asked a wit wheth- er he believed in spirts. "Ay, sir,'' replied MXi Ufwiiw'v- " j - full in the face, -1 see too much evidence before me to doubt it. m-.. Briggs has a great faculty for gcmngtnngs .1 1Cap. Theotherday lie had a e iow mis seems uku Biagwuuu... "lmiri(i to nurch:.se the premises, and now lie kicKed a dog I HOW I made my fortune. Three of us were sitting in a small hardships of the niouey one can do nothing," "Were T to hit upon a speculation that would have done honor jto a Rothschild, comin- from a pauper , ' O r r like myself, no one would think it worth attending to." "I," said Albert, "have actually finish ed a work which would establish my re putation as an author, if I could only find , a bookseller to buy it." j "I Have petitioned my employer for an I increase of salary," I exclaimed, aux jious to contribute to the chorus of lamen tation, "and he told uie that for forty louis a year he could get more clerks than he wanted." "It would not so much matter," said 'George, thoughtfully, "if besides being poor, we did not seem poor. Could one 1 of us only be thought rich " I "What is the use of the shadow with . out the substance ?" I asked. j "Of every use," said Albert, i with George the shadow ; makes the substance. The "I agree ! sometimes next best ; thing to capital is credit." I "Especially," returned George, "the 'credit of having a good fortune. Have none of us a rich uncle in India 7" j "A cousin of mine went to Jamaica or ; Martinique, I forget which," I said in Inoccntiy, "and he never came back." i "Capital ! that is all one requires," ex claimed George. "We will conjure up this counsm of 'ours or could we not I kill him Yes. James Meran, of Mar tinique, deceased, leaving a sugar planta tion, a hundred negroes, and a fortune of a hundred thousand louis to his well-be loved cousin, Louis Meran." We laughed at the joke and thought no more ot it; but (juurgc :'d Albert tune that had been left me. The next day several friends dropped in to compliment me. Of course I en- Nantes before he embarked in 17o9. lUiong others came my tailor, to whom I 11 1 . 1 i "A- convenient for me to pay at that moment, I wished my two friends at a place that jShail be namciess. j "Good morning, Mr. Maj'er. I sup- pose you came tor those nfty irancs 'I hope, sir, you don't think I came for such a trifle as that. No, sir I came to take vour orders for a suit of mourn- in "A suit of mourning ?" "Yes sir. cousin's mourning ?" Bark black bronze frock for mourning wear, trowscrs and waistcoat." "At the present moment, Mr. Mayer " "I hope, sir, I have done nothing to forfeit your patronage V "Uut I repeat that I have received no money at ali." "1 hope, sir, you won't mention such a thing; there is no sort 01 hurry, ex claimed the tailor, who busily employed himself in taking my measure from slips , of paricr. Alter all mv wardrobe did want some I thought Mr. l'oliv li'irl mirto iin bis O . r . . . . ' I hear he has changed his intention j 1 What is to become of me ? I have hea- j vv demands to meet, and 1 don t know i where the money is to come from. mi - .. 'I3uy your house ? Why it would be You ' "Madness ? No such thing. could not find a better investment any where. In two years, with trifling repairs, it will be worth double its present value ; vou wjU never see such a good opportu it aa'u gay rj0ne,' and I'm off." And he was off without leaving me time to put in a wonl. 1 n i,mira ni'tor in wnlkr-d Mr. Felix, J- U ' identlv DOtiu the best of temper. fc . h m neanj, mi, 0 J j i-nr ma niiirp 11 v Kiiriirihu. j-iiub uuuco :.;- -nnpnnhlfi to me I reckoned on it 1 j is inuibpBu-u. - -j : as it it were mine, uuu uu.jr uWvu thousand francs because the owner is am- , barrassed, and I felt sure that be was ob- iiigeu 10 uiho iubui. , case is ,3; flavor, cn T nnnift to ask YOU 1 ... 1 . X' i. 4. : w,il you let me nave it ior BCYcutj u, thousand francs." 1 pjftccQ thousand francs dropping all at . . .1 r iv.ll,r- tt?1wi nnrP into lgb iiiv VI u uuui hjiiuii 11 " JuL for Fe5irht hundred t om,H hnrdlv believe 1 uo m . ( my euia. : "1 cannot give you an answer juau uun, t cnti I'Vmf. if vou will take the' ',, . afc fiv rn gee wliat ; t V -- . ,,- t?i: ,i 1 Af nnnr (r to UVe iur. i'Hii luauc I 1 arance I spoke to him candor. md tell vou sir, that I had no . his appeara , . . 1 ennnin tp ii vmi. 2911. umv -- " h'th 'house till the "Can I sell out?" mvant the bouse, any other will suit yot uie equally as well, so I accede to your terms." I -tou shall have a draft on Pans tor lie amount in a fortnight," replied Mr. , Felix, who bowed and withdrew, appareut- "You shall have a draft on Paris for i y enchanted with my way ot doing bus in ess. A. draft upon Paris ! The circum- stance appeared so unusual to me that I ,t i . t 1 , , -i . t i thought I ought to send it to Paris and get it cashed. I wrote accordingly to our own five per cent. I know of noth-' observed by the Greeks and Romans, and Messrs. JFlanges & 13egeret, the only iug more secure ; at the present price of other cotemporary nations. Solon intro firm I knew there. I was in the habit ' the stock, you get six per cent, for your duced written wills into Athens, and the of receiving through them the interest of money. I can easily understand that you same were required by the Roman law. a small sum that had been left me by my j should be worried by such trifling details (To Mohomedans they are enjoined by the uncle. I informed them that, having as these : you will soon have more con-, Koran. They were in use among the funds at my disposal. I wished for in- formation as to the best mode in invest- ing them. The significance of the word nr. 1U11U s varies very much according to the - . the name and position in life of thespcak- er. JLhe rumor or my legacy had reach ed Paris, so that when I spoke of funds, it was evident I meant a considerable sum. This was proved by the following lottcr : "Sir We are in receipt of your es teemed favor of the 17th current, which reached us just after the conclusion of the last loan negotiated by the Cortes, iu which our firm has an interest. Desirous that our friends should have an oppor tunity of paticipating in an investment which were profitable, we have taken the liberty of placing twenty thousand pias ters to your credit. Should that amount appear too considerable, the rise of these securities admits of your selling out at a premium. "We remain, sir, "Yours to command, "Fiance & Co." To this was added a postcript written by the head of the firm : "We have heard with pleasure the re ceut'good fortune that has fallen to tho lot of our old friend and correspondent, and beg to offer him our services, as oc casion may require." Twenty thousand piasters! 1 let the let- ter falHu sheer amazement. What would i year, if it had not been for the fifty Na have been my astonishment, if, more con- poleons. versant with the terms of commerce, and j In the meantime my two friends were more attentive to the enclosed account i shocked at the success of their story, and current, 1 had seen that what 1 took for the principal, was only the yearly mter- est f I lost no tunc m writing to my cor- respondents, io inform them that the sura was much too lanre. "I have received no money," I said, from Martinque, and it would be impossible for me to meet my engagenents." lu answer came by return post ; "We learn with regret that you have misgivings with regard to the Spanish j "I cannot be sure of that " I replied, loan. According to'your orders, we have 1 "for I am by no means convinced of his sold out half the stock assigned to you, existence." which bring3 you in already a net profit i "Well ; you know that this inheritance of eighty thousand francs. With regard is only a hoax ?" to your property at Martinque, we are too "To tell the truth, I think we are the well acquainted with delays which be- j only people that are of that opinion." quests at such a distance necessarily in- J "We have been very wrong to origi volve, to think for a moment that you nate such an invention for which we are can be immediately put in possession of sincerely sorry." your inheritance, but your simple signa- "On the contrary, I am very much o turc will suffice to procure you all the bliged to you." money you may require iu the" mean time. "But it 'is our duty to contradict it, We take the liberty of reminding you of th e advantage or making timely iuvest- ments, lest, when the legal arrangements are ended, you should find difficulty in getting good interest for so large a capital, Hoping you may have a better opinion ot German securities than you do of Spanish, we liu nd you a prospectus for establish- ing a bank at uruniugen. You will please to observe, sir. that no deposit is required, and, a3 calls are only made at 100? intervals, ic win De easy ior you to sell your shares, should you change your a ' - " mind, without your having occasion to make any payment. We have placed fif ty shares to your credit, and have hon or to remain," &c. Eighty thousaud francs ! The amount was a perfect mystery to me : no doubt the clerk had made some mistake in the figures My position was becoming era- barrassing. Congratulations poured ln from all quarters, especially when I made my appearance m black from head to to foot. The Journal de Goubmouges thought it right to publish a biographi cal SKeicn 01 my cousin, aim 111c ouuor wroto to me asking further particulars. Ladies connected with all sorts of so cieties, begged that my name might be ' added to their list of subscribers, and the money I lnd to pay for rotfage was some- t thiug alarming To escape from the ! avalanche of inquiries I hastily departed lor Fans. Uirectjy alter 1 got mere. 1 called upon my bankers, and was received l' , 1 L 1 as heirs to a large property generally are. Sorry that you have such a pfior opin- Lon 01 tne Pamsu .Sl0' ba,u U3"fu- ..in 1. i . .;j at z Bergeret ; "there has been a great rise, " ' , w fc , jf - ( '10ver we Som 0Ut y0Ur par ' to ct , , . ,nt fiin r(llimif.vnlllfl of the " r'' .r . remainder might be '" I replied ICUlJkUUUL ill i LI ii b UW "Certainly, sir, ten thousand piasters stock, at seventy (the piastre being at five francs, thirty-five centimes), the sum , . . j already being-if you sell out to-day you will, with the proceeds 01 last saie, nave from two hundred and ten thousand to two hundred and twenty-four thousand francs." Very well. You said something about a Germau bank, I think ?" "Yes : the Government made some du- Acuity about granting a charter ; but it is all settled now, and promised shares have risen considerably "Certainly; you have Wtjr, at lour hundred and fifty florins profit ; that will bringyou in about sixty thousand francs' j The practice of making wills is one "Without any calls to pay ?" which ha3 descended to us from the re done whatever." 'modest ages of the world. Amongst the "That seems strange ; but you arc, no Jews the descent of property was oon doubt, well informed. I should like to trolled by fixed laws, but it was nevcrthe find a secure investment for those sums; less, the custom of the head of the f ami would you have tho goodness to tell me ly, on his death-bed, to express his wish what would be the best ?" ! es in the prcseuce of witnesses and of his "You cannot have anything better than ; heirs. The practice was also universally siderable sums to look after. "Then if I invest the coubincd produce of the German and Spanish stocks in five : per cent., what should 1 get a year r . fit "Lct me sec. Three hundred thous- and francs funds at eighty eighteen twenty yes, tweuty thousand francs a year. jry in ditterent countries. A writer on 'Ah ! twenty thousand francs a year ! , the subject thus defines the Law in Eng aad when can the investment be made ?" 1 laud and the United States : "To-morrow morning; that is, if you allow our firm to conduct the transaction." "Certainly ; in whom could my confi dence be better placed ?" The banker made a polite bow. "And now," I continued, "I should feel obliged if you would have the good ness to advance me a few louis. as I am rather short of cash." "My dear sir, all the cash I possess is at your service. How much do you want two huudred four hundred ?" "Thank you, fifty will be quite suffi cient." "May I hope," added the banker, when I rose to take leave, "that our firm may be favored with a continuance of your patronage ?" "Certainly," I replied. There are few moments of my life on which I look, with more satisfaction than on those occupied in the interview with M. Rergeret. I doubt if I should be be lieved in the twenty thousand francs a : were not a little alarmed at my suuoen '. .-r- ... . . 1 , 1 ' ! journey to rans ; wnicn was attriDutea , : by others to legal business, ucorge ana ' Albert then began to fear that I really believed in the authenticity of the inven- tiou they had concocted Three days after ray return they came to see me with their long faces. "My dear Louisa," said George, "you ' know your cousin is not dead?" and confess how foolish we have been. Truth cannot 1 long remain concea led. People began to wonder that no news came from Martinique; the wise and prudent shook their heads ominously when my name was mentioned. "The most ludicrous feature in the case is," said one, "that he has ended iu believing in the truth of his own inven tion. For my part, I must say that I was . always rather skeptical about that inher : uaui-e. .. . t t- 1 if i -r -n 1" ! 1. "And 1 also, said iir. I'enx, inougn it cost me fifteen thousand francs." On seeing a dozen letters on my table one morning. I guessed that the bubble had burst. Their contents were much alike; for instance : "Mr. Mayer's respects to Mr. Meran, . and having very heavy payments to meet will feel obliged by a cheque for the a mount of the enclosed." My replies dismissed all doubts of my perfect solvency. "Mr. Meran thanks Mr. Mayer for hav ing at last sent in his account, and enclo ses a cheque for the amount." My cool and unconcerned demeanor kept curiosity alive for a few days lon ger. "What a lucky fellow !" said one. "Luck has nothing to do with it," re joined auother ; he has played his cards well, and has won." Once or twice, I confess, I felt com punction of conscience ; but a moments reflection convinced me that my own ex ertions had 110 share in my good fortune, and that I owed it all to a universal wor ship of the Goldon Calf, and the truth of Albert's axiom "the next best thing to cabital is credit." A man in Carlisle, Scotland, was killed a short time since by bees. lie was at work near a nive, wnen tne insects can u , 1 . 1 . 1 out and settled on nis neao compiuiu.jn . f. covering it, and in a few minutes tter - nroi'lo fliA nnrnrhinnfrt foti 1(11111(1 wards the unfortunate man was lyin on his face quite dead. Gen. Curtis has struck a vein'. He has ascertained the whereabouts, near Lynch-' burg, of 878,800 in bullion, formely belong ing to the rebel government. A Western editor says it is more blessed tn lmvo n friend nrosent von with fifty specks led trout, than to be President of the United States and die by assassination Moses Taylor of New Yorkr:.receives a million this year in coal Btock dividends: Something About Wills. ! barbarians of the North at a very early period ; and it is certain that the Mexi - jeans observed the custom prior to their it - 1 . - 1TI1 subjugation by the Spaniards. Wilis made by the British kings are recorded as far back as the time of Edward the Confessor. The laws relating to wills va- Ey the English law the testator must be over 21 years of age, and neither a lu natic nor an idiot, nor deaf nor dumb, nor drunk at the time of signing, nor an out- ; law, nor an upardoned felon. All wills ii 1.1 n 1 must be in writing, except those of sol diers in actual service orwl tninnorc sea which may be nuncupative or oral All kinds of property may be devised, and the will must be signed by the testator, ! or by his directiou, iu the. presence of each other. A woman cannot be an at testing witness; all devises and gifts by will to a witness are void ; and a will is revoked by the marriage of the testa tor. A married woman can only bequeath her pin money or separate maintenance, without the consent of her husband ; and 1 an office has been opened for the recep-1 the words of the text, or even the chap tion and safe keeping of tfce wills of . ter and verse where they could be found; living persons. i lmt nno Snhbnb ft r f- "The common law, as well as the bear- ings of the English statutes, are various- ly modified in the different States of A- , uierica. A married woman cannot by common law make any will whatever a ( remnant of the feudal system which mer- ged the rights and almost the existence of the wife in that of the husband. Rut ; tins rule has ot late years received much - . . . ... ' modification in .England, and much more jn many of our States. In several, her common lawdisability rcmaius unchanged; in most, it is diminished, bv permitting her to exert some power of disposition 0-1 ver her property; in many the assent of the husband is necessary to the validity ; of her will; while in Illinois and Connec- j ticut it wouhl seem as if the rule of the : lioman civil law were adopted, and a mar- ried woman had the same power of ma- ; king a will as if she were a lemme soh. The laws of Louisiana, copied from the French code, prohibit a parent from dis inheriting his children, but iu all the oth er States he has the power to do so." We may add that the laws of Mary land, which secure ta a wife her separate "j property, it sue so desire, as a matter 01 course, allow her to will it as she may think best, and without will it descends to her children., if she have auy. Some curious and interesting wills arc to be found in the records of the past. ! The Countess of Northampton left to the ! Friar's Church, "a cross made of the ve- , very wood of our Saviour's cross," and ' the Larl of Huntington directed that his his heart should be preserved in spicid. Dame Alice Wyche, widow of the Lord Mayor of Loudon, set an example of sen sible charity. She bequeathed "200 to poor diligent laborers in poor villages ; to 100 poor householders a cow, and 13 shil lings and 4 pence each, with 3 ewes; and for the marriage of poor maidens of good conversation, 100." Michael Augelo, the great painter, made his will in these ! words: "My soul 1 resign to dod; my body to the earth ; and my worldly pos sessions to my nearest relations." Pope directed that his body should be carried to the grave by the six poorest men iu the parish, each of whom should receive a suit of coarse gray clothing. Dean swift gave the most of his property j the Company, but the science of geology to endow a lunatic asylum in Dublin, and j stood forth vindicated. Catskill llecord Dr. Johnson the bulk of his to a negro er. servant, Francis Barber. Washington's will was signed at the bottom of each page and was prepared with that scrupu lous care and exactitude which distin- .Tti.eliAf. P.vnrv net nf hU life. The wi li is life. t ? ... t t of Napolean has always been regarded as a stigma on his character. lie bequeath- cd ten thousand francs to the man who was suspected of a design to assassinate the JJuke of Wellington, uc expressed the opinion that "he had as much right . .1, ! 1 .1 1... to assassinate that oligarch as the latter had to send me to perish cu the Island of St. Helena." The learned Dr. John Ho lms Warren of IJoston made a will (1856) directiug that, "After the funeral solemnities, in the full and proper form of the Episcopal - Church that his body be removed to the . . n rnv AUKMtinn . ln's ,L-1. lUUUIbUI VJVIIWjjw ) cton to be preserved, whitfiticd, arid pla- ! ..... , - -r CC(1 111 111U iUliuic iuuuj, ucui hid jjuoh , affording a 'lesson useful to morality aud science ;' earnestly hoping that his family would lay aside any natural feeling of op position to this, his last request, consider ing that it was for tho interest of human ity, and for his and their honor." (His wishes were faithfully carried out.) It was a touching proof of the great at jtion which Lord Chancellor Eldon ; fection bore to the memory of his wife, when he enioioed in his will that her wedding- riug should be deposited in his owd cof- ,hn. We will close what wc have io.say on this subject by mentioning that vdhtU cal wills were formerly quite common in' England. Snort Love Story." Here is a story told by one Morgan, a sea captain, concerning the choice of d husband at sea which may afford a prof itable hint to young ladies en voyage :- Single ladies often cross the water un der the special care of the captain of tho' ship, and if a love affair occurs among the passengers, the captain is usually the confidante of one or both parties. A ve-j ry facinating young lady had been' rjlaced under Morgan's care, and three Vouns ; men fell desperately in love with btr. They were all equally agreeable, and tho.r- young lady was puzzled which to encour age. She asked the captain's advice. "Come on deck," said he, "the. first day3, it is perfectly calm ; the gentlemen of course, will all be near you. I will have a boat quietly lowered down, and you jump overboard and see which of the gentlemen will jump after you." A calm day soon came, the captainV suggestions were followed, and two of the lovers jumped after the lady at the instant. Rut between these two the lady could not' '1 i . , . . decide, so exactly was their devotion. ' She had again. consulted the captain "Take the man that didn't jump he's the more sensible fellow, and will niakor the best husba'n'd." The Text: A pious old lady, who was too unwell to attend meeting, used to send her thick headed husband to church to find out tho j text the preacher selected as the founda tion of his discourse. The nnnr flii'iiii' was rarely fortunate enough to remember but one Sabbath b:e ran for home in hot haste, and with a smirk of satisfaction on his face, informed his wife that he could repeat every word, without missing even3 so much a3 one syllable. The words' were as follows : "An angel came down from hc:a7en,and took a live coal from the altar.". "I know every word." replied the bus- band "I am anxious to bear it," continued the wife. "They are nice words." observed tho husband. "I'm glad your memory ig inrp'foving; but-dou't keep me in suspense, my dear," said she. "Just get your big Bible?- and.then I will say the vfo'rds, for I know them 'by heart. I said them" a hundred times on1 my way home." "Well, let's hear them." "Ahem !" said he clearing his throat! "A Ingun came down from New Haven and took a.live colt by the tail, and jerk- fid hira out of the halter' Didn't Strike "Lie." Jb'or many years Geologists have be- lieved that his Satantic Majesty's Eealm h,y near to the surface of the earth, in Pike County, Pa., and it was a mcfttfed question, until a short time since, when? a mere accident decided it. It seems that a number of wealthy men of that county concluded tfrat Pike Co. was rich' in other prducts besides "hoop poles" and , "rattlesnakes. ' In short, thsv had an at- tack of "He on the'brain." The company was organized, stock subscribed, and thor spot indicated for the experiment. All went on swimmingly "as a marriage bell." The surface indications were good ; ex pectation rose high ; likewise the stock. After much toil, labor and trouble, and penetrating the bowels of the earth to tho distance of half a mile, and just at a timo when the indications of a rich "vein the precious fluid being fonnd wers very flattering, the' auger struck the up per strata and penetrated into'tbe "Shades of Hades !" The intense heat melted tiie diamond point of the drill, and the. Com pany "busted !" Thus ended the wild speculations of An extraordinary case has been brought to light at Colyton, in the west of Eng land. A. man who Is generally looked ori as an eccentric character, has in his nos- 1 ,i ; atBaiuu uuuurieu uuipae ui uis moiner; who died five years ago. When she died , lie liaiJ a leaden coffin made with a glass .plate sat in. He deposited the coffin in , " "-" nm j;"," lu to look upon the faco of his mother. The following aro among the notices put up at a petroleum tovfn id Western rennsylvania : "JNo talking with tho chambermaid" "Fare as high as at any other house" "Not responsible for boots left in the hall" "No sardines admitted." An impatient boy, waitiug for the grist, said to the miller : dl . .cdiild eat the meal as fast as the mill grinds it." "IJow loug could you do so?" inquired the mil ler. "Till I starved to death," was tho sarcastic reply. "I mourn for my bleeding country," said a certain army co'ntfHctor to Gereral Sheridan. "So you o'uglit, you scoun drel," replied Sheridan, for lidbody h'a3 bled her more than yon." Josh Billings says, When once axed if I believed in the final sarvation,of fiaen, I .sod, yes but let me pick the men."