The Jeffersonian. (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, June 29, 1865, Image 1

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"?cuotc5 to politics, Citciatitre, agriculture, Science, JHoralitjj, anb cncral 2ntcIHg'cnrc.
VOL. 24.
Published by Theodore Schoch.
- TBRM3-Tvvo dollars a voar lit ndvancc-and if no
p.iid before the end of the'ycai, two dollars and fitly
cts. will be charged.
No paper discontinued until all arrearages arc paid,
except at the option of the Editor.
iDAa-crtiscments of one square of (eigla lines) or
less, one or three insertions 5 1 50. Earn additional
Insertion, 50 cents. Longer ones in propoition.
JOB PEHRfTISG,
OF ALL KINDS,
Bxoooted ill the highest style of the Ail, and on tho
most rcuson'tule terms.
A Hint to Boys,
tinder the heading, "A Good "Hoy
Wanted," says the Agriculturist, a gen
tleman of New York advertised in one of
the daily papers. Upon entering his of
fice the nest morning, there stood a crowd
ot lorty or htty boys waiting to sec mm.
All were strangers, and of course it was j cnJ03'inS nis fragrant Havana cigar, and
rather difficult to select the best one of j was m a mood of conversation, not upon
the company; but there were a few signs j hat hcwas.going to do, but upon, what
by which it could be decided at once that iac Deen done. He is always wisely rct
many ot these lads were not wanted, from j ccnt UP0U tne present aud future, but a-
which our young friends may take a hint,
Several of the boys had uncombed hair
and unwashed faces. If they could not
be likely to do their work nicely, so those
were passed over without further notice.
One boy looked bright and smart, but he
Kept crowding his way to the front of all
others and thrusting himself into notice.
It was readily to be seen that he was too
"smart ;" he would probably prove pert
and saucy. Then came a boy with a book
peeping out of his breast pocket a cheap
trashy novel, lie was not wanted ; his
mind would be following the hero of the
wonderful story through impossible ad
ventures, while his work suffered. One
boy fell to quarreling with his neighbor;
another had to be reprimanded for med
dling with articles in the office ; a third
chewed tobacco ; neither of these was
wanted. From the few remaining, after
dismissing the above classes, the boy was
selected who could brine- the best testi
aionials of honesty, intelligence aud in
dustry ; good character, will be sure,
sooner or later to bring a good reputation
aud its rewards.
Saturday Evening.
How many a kiss has been given how
many a caress how man a look of hate
how many a kind word how many a
promise has been broken how many a
heart has beea wrecked how many a
aoul lost how many a loved one lowered
to the narrow chamber how many a babe
has gone forth from earth to heaven
how many a little crib or cradle stands
silent now. whieh last Satnrda' night
held the rarest of the treasures of the
heart! A week is a history, A week
males events of sorrow or of gladness,
which people never heed. Go home, you
heart-erring wanderer. Go home to the
cheer that awaits you, wronged waifs on
earth's billows. Go home to vour fami
ly, man of business. Go home to those
you love, man of toil, and give one night
to the jos aud comforts fast ftyiug by.
Leave your books with complex figures
leave everything your dirty shop
your business store. llest with those
you love; fur God alone knows what next
Faturdav night may brinir them. Forget
the world of care and battles with which
life furrowed the week. Draw close a
round the family hearth. Saturday night
has awaited your coming with sadness, in
tears and sileucc. Go home to those you
love, and as '0u bask in the loved pres
ence, and meet to return the embrace of
your heart's pets, strive to be a better ;
man, and to bless God for giving His
weary children so dear a steppiug-stone
in the river to the Eternal, as Saturday
night
An impertinent conductor on the
Sec-
ond and Third street (Philadelphia,) pas
senger llailwa', was rather too fast thc
other day for his own comfort. Thc case
is thus stated by the Bulletin :
An individual with an exceedingly
dark complcxiou, got upon the car, when
he was immediately informed by the con
ductor that colored people were not allow
ed to ride on that Hue.
"Do you call me a nigger ?" savagely
inquired the "would be passenger.
"No," replied the conductor, "but I
tall you colored person."
The conductor immediately received a
blow which knocked him from the platfom;
upou regaining his feet his assailant re
marked ; "I am satisfied now and will con
vince you that I'm not a colored person."
He then opened a valise and displayed a
uniform of Collis's Zouaves, saying "I'm
a soldier and have just been discharged." '
It is well known that the men of Collis's
Zouaves are greatly bronzed, and many of
them might well be mistaked for colored
people when they are without uuiforms.
a
Two lawyers having a dispute, one said
Co the other, who was a dwarf: j
"If you are not more civil I'll put you j
in my pocket.
"In that cas
"you will have
thau you ever had
When Jeff. Davis made his triumphant ;
entry into luoulgomcry, he threatened
that thc Yankees should feel Southern
steel ; but, really, they did not expect-to
feel it in a hoop skirt.
"Well, Sambo, how do you like your
w place?"
Not berry well, niassa
"What did you have for breakfast this
mnrnino- r"
""Wliv vnnsp.fi missus hilcd some eggs
i
i
c " replied thc little one, : had gained a knowledge ot the country,
more law in your pocket j His engineers had mapped it, the roads,
iu your head' the streams, the nouses. J.ne ngtit at
Dabuey's Mill was a random stroke, a
for herself aud gib mode brofV' '.jaod thc head-waters of the Nottoway,
HOW RICHMOND WAS TAKEN.
The following extract is from an article
on General Grant's last
rn in the
Atlantic Monthly, tor June (
The appointment of Gen. Grant to the
I.J . i r t . - -- w
command ot all the armies was not only
tne Beginning ot a new rcaimc, but the
adoption of a new idea that Lee's army
was the objective point, rather than the
city of liichmond.
'The power of the rebellion lies in the
rebel army," said General Graut to the
writer one
evening in
June last. We
had been conversing upon Fort Donelson
aud Pittsburg Landing. One by one his
staff officers dropped off to their tents,
and we were aloue. It was a quiet, star-
' "u " -- -uieuienanc ucuerai was
lit mgnt. xne Lieutenant General
enjoying his fragrant Havana cicrar.
t grceaoiy communicative upon what has
passeu into History
I'T 1 1 n T' r r. . . " i ii.
j. . .,, iuoi, a. jjuuu iuauy iucu since mo
army left the Hapidan, but there was no
help for it. The rebel army must be de
stroyed before we can put down the re-
ociiion, lie continued
There was a disposition at that time on
the part of the difeloyal press of the JTorth
to bring Gen. Grant into bad odor. He
was called ''The Butcher
' Even some
were ready to
llepublican Co:
nirressmeu
demand his removal
General Grant al-
luded to it and safd :
"God knows I don't want to sec men
slaughtered ; but we have appealed to
arms, and we have got to fight it out."
lie had already given public uttcran
to the exnressiou : "I intend rn fio-lif if
out on this line, if it takes all summer."
jicfcrving to the successive flank move
ments which had been made, from the
Kapidan to the Wilderness, to Spottsylva
nion to tho North Anna, to the Chicka
homiuy, to Petersburg, he said :
"2dy object has been to get between
Lee and his southern communications."
At the lime the Wcldou road was in the
bauds of the enemy, and Eeaily was on a
march down the Vall
VnHnv. t.nw;irfl V.-cli
ingten.
n. This movement was designed to j .thc brS,ar from the house, and dispatch
tou Grant aud send him back by 1 inS him 00 lllo spot. Perhaps Lee saw
frightoi
steamer to defend thn fanifnl W frm i
Sixth Corps only was sent, while the besfc hc couIti with his troops; but inas
troops remainiug still kept pressing on in Inuch as lle did uofc issuc the order for
a series of flank movements, which fesul- i
ted in the seizure of the Weldon road. i
That was thc most damaging blow which
Lee had received. He made desperate
efforts to recover what had been lost, but
in vain.
It W.1S flir bonrlnninnr nf flir nnrl
Then the public generally could see "the j
meaning or general urant s strategy
that the Wilderness, Spottsylvaniaf and
all the terrible battles which had been
fought, were according to a' plan, which,
if carried out, must end in victory. The
liichmond newspapers, which had ridi-
euleu the campaign, and found an echo
iu the disloyal press of the North, began
to discuss the question of supplies ; and
to keep their courage up, they indulged
in boastful declarations that the Southside
railroad could never be taken.
Thc march of Sherman from Atlanta
to Savannah aud through South Carolina,
destroying railroads aud supplies, the ta
king of Wilmington, Sheridan's move
ment from Winchester up thc Valley of
the Shenandoah, striking the James liiv-
er anai aua the uentral liauroad, aud
then the transfer of his whole force from i
tli p. "Wl.no U'mur. rn fno lrf fini, ihn i
Army of
well matu
the Potomac, were parts of a
red design to
weaken Lee's ar
my.
Everything was ready for a final blow.
The forces of General Grant were dis
posed as follows :
The army of the James, composed of
the Twenty-fourth and Twenty-fifth Corps,
and commanded bv General Ord, was
north of thc James River, its right flank
resting on the old battle-field of Gleudale,
and its left flank on the Appomattox.
The Ninth Army Corps, the right wing
of the Army of thc Potomac, was next in
line, then the Sixth, and then the Second,
its left resting on Hatcher s Run.
Fifth was in rear of the Second.
The
Thc
line thus held was nearly forty miles iu
length, defended on thc front and rear
by strong earthworks and abatis.
Gen. Grant's entire force could not
have been much less than a hundred and
tliirtv thousand, including Sheridan's cav
.lrr tho Vnrot ;.r f!t.v Vnint nnd tho. nrn- i
visional brigade at Fort Powhatan. Lee's f
whole force was not far from seventy
thousand, or seventy five thousand, mclu-,
' tUnrr flip itll If!H Ot tlfilllliniKl :mfi 'fi- .
din
tersburg.; but he was upon the defence,
and held an interior and shorter line.
The work which Gen. Grant had in
hand was thc seizure of the Southside
Railroad by au cxtcusiou of his left flank.
He had attempted it once with the Fifth
Corps, at Dabuey's Mill, and had failed ;
but that attempt had been of value : he
"feeling the position' to use a term com-
nion iu camp, which euablcd him to
tect tlie weak point of Lee's Hues
To
comprehend thc movement, it is necessa
ry to understand the geographical aud to
pographical features of the country,
which arc somewhat peculiar. Hatcher's
run is a branch of the Nottoway River,
which has its rise in a swamp about four
miles from the Appomattox and twenty
southwest from Petersburg, along thc
ridge of laud between thc Appomattox
STROUDSBTJRG, MONROE
protected by the swamp of Hatcher's Run
and by the swamp of Stony Creek, auoth-
er tnimtary to the Nottoway,
'VU l i,i i .
l-..,.. l. ,m- n 1 j , ,
.ywn, iuiuiu uu 1 v utn. u laiiL
five roads meet, on the table-land between
tne Head waters of Hatcher's Hun and
Stony. Creek. It was the most accessible
gate-way leading to the railroad. If he
could break at that point, he would turn
Lee's flank, deprive him of the swamps,
use them for his own cover, and seize the
railroad. To take Five Forks was to take
all ; for the long and terrible conflict had
become so shorn of its outside proportions,
so reduced to simple elements, that, if
Lee lost that position, all was lost Pe
tersburg, Kichmoud, his army, and the
Confederacy.
Surprise is exnressed that the rtv
bcllion went down so suddenly, in a night
at one blow, topplintr over like a child's
house of cards, imposing to look unon.
yet of very little substance ; but the cal
culations of Gen. Grant were to erivo a
finishing stroke.
If, by massing the main body of his
troops upon the extreme left of his lino.
he succeeded in carrying the position of
the Five Forks, it would compel
ipel Lee to
j evacuate liichmond.
JjCC s line or re
treat must necessarily be towards Dan.
1 villc; but Grant, at the Five Forks, would
, be nearer Danville by several miles than
j Lee ; aud ho would thus, instead of the
exterior line, have the interior, with the
power to push Lee at every step farther
I from his direct line of retreat. That
: Grant saw all this, and executed his plan
is evidence of great military ability. The
plan involved not merely the earryins: of
; tlie i,iVe -Boris, but great activity after-
i vards- 'llQ capture of Lee was a fore-
thousht, uot an afterthought.
"Commissaries will prepare twelve days
j rations, was his order, which meant a
; long march, and the annihilation of Lee's
army. Au ordinary commander might
; have been satisfied with merely breaking
j down the door, and seizing the railroad,
; knowing that it would be the beginning
of dissolution to the licbel army; but
, Grants part went farther "the routing of
uat tne enu would be, and he did the
Ulc transler or a division from liichmond
to tl,c Southside till Saturday night, af
ter the luve I'orks were lost, it may be
presumed that he did not fully compre
hend the importance of holding that gate
way, it he had seen that liichmond
lnnSh 00 eventually evacuated, he might
have saved his army by a sudden with
drawal from both liichmond and Peters
burg, on Friday night, pushing down the
Southside Road, and throwing his whole
force on Sheridan and the Fifth Corns.
wluch would euable him to reach
Dan-
villc. Not doing that, he lost all.
It is not intended in this article to give
thc details of thc attack at the Five Forks
and along the line, but mere to show how
the forces were wielded in the last
nifieeut, annihilating blow.
mag-
On thc 25th of March the Twenty
Fourth Coi-p3 was transferred from the
north side of the James to Hatcher's
liun, taking thc position of the Second
Corps.
The force designed for thc attack upon
the Five Forks Was composed of the Fifth
orPs a."u ancrncian s cavalry, the whole
unuer the command ot bliendan. Thc
Second Corps was massed across Hatch
er's liun, and kept in position to frustrate
any attempt that might be made to cut
Sheridan from the support of tho main
army.
Sheridan found a large force in front
of him along Chamberlain's Creek, 3
miles west of Dinwiddie Court House.
He had hard fighting and was "re
pulsed. There was want of co-operation
oii thc part of Warren, commander of the
Fifth Corps, who was relieved of his com
mand the next morning, Gen. Griffin suc:
eeeding him. A heavy rain-storm came
on, wagons went hub-deep in the mud.
The swamps were overflowed. The ar
my came to a stand still. Thc soldiers
wcro without tents. Thousands had
thrown away their blankets. There was
gloom and discouragement throughout
the camp. Hut all thc axes and shovels
were brought into requisition, and the
men went to work building corduroy
roads. It Was much better for the mof-
ah of thc army than to sit by bivouac-
nres waiting for sunny skies. The week
passeu away. x ne lucnmonu papers
wuiu uuuuuuuo uu'u uuuduui Vi uuai ouu
cess.
"We arc very hopeful of the' campaign
which is opening, and trust we arc to reap
a large advantage from thc operations ev
idently near at hand.
W
have only to resolve never to surrender,
aud it will be impossible that we shall ev
er be taken," said thc Sentinel, iu its is
sue of Saturday, April 1st, the last pa
per oyer issued from that office. The ed
tor was not aware of the fact, that on Fri
day evening, while he was penning this
n.iv!irr:inli Shoridan was burs tine' nnp.n
Hon bv thc throat. Leo" attempted to
trievo the disaster on Saturday by deplc
L 1
ting
his left and ceutrc to reinforce tho;lcmeuy ut . once in tne time oi ixuam
riff nc. u.ncu came lug orucr now uraui,
t . mi ti i i l
"attack vigorously all along the line." j
flow snlcudidlv it was executed ! The.
Ninth, thc Sixth, the Second, aud the
1 a
po
rise,
l ushing into "the ditches, sweeping
Twenty-Fourth Corps all went tumbling , "The only one of my children that shows through me skin I Look at me sunken
in upon the enemy's, works, like breakers 'me any filial affection is my youngest son, 'cheeks, and' the famine that's starin' in
n the bcacn, tearing away chcvuujc jjary, ior ne ueyer birin.ua uiu wucu x m urn uyea ; man airvc, isn i il uuggiu j.
COUNTY, PA JUNE 29,
over the embankments, and dashed thro'
the embrasures of the forts. In an hour
the G. S. A, tho Confederate Slate Ar-
. : ' . " '
m nuav i.iii! sum nr irfiro tjctiq I'liinnhmi hnr
IV J H.uuui,m,u
uul J . , 8 aS wuicu wene proudly sail
inn"
with the death's head and cross-boues
at her truck, on a cruise against civili
zation and Christianity, hailed as a right
ful beligerent, furnished with guns, am
munition, provisions, and al! needfuljup
plies by England and Franco, was thrown
a helpless-wreck upon the shores of Time.
Iftlre Years on Post.
During one of Napoleon's remarkable
campaigns, a detatchment of a corps com
manded by Davoust occupied tho Islo
T 1 , . t ,
.ivuguu, wiucn tney were ordered to evac
uatc. They embarked with such precip
itation that they forgot one of their sen
tinels posted in a retired spot, and who
was so deeply absorbed iu the persusal of
a newspaper containim an account of one
of the Emperor's splendid victories, as to
do totally unconscious of their departure.
After pacing to and fro for many hours
on his post, he lost pationcc, and re
turned to the guard-room, which he found
empty. On inquiry, he learned with des
pair what had happened, and cried :
"Alas ! alas ! I shall be looked upon
as a deserter dishonored, lost, unhappy
wretch that I am I"
His lamentation excited the compassion
sion of a worthy tradesman, who took him
to his house, did all in his power to con- 0I spending the honeymoon was first in
sole him, taught him to make bread, for troduced by Lycurgus to prevent the hus
he was a baker, and, after some months,
gave him his only daughter, Justino, in
marriage.
O
luvc years afterwards, a strange sail
was seen approach the Island. The in
habitants flocked to the beech, and soon
discovered in the advancing ship a num
ber of soldiers wearing the uniform of thc
French army.
"I am done for now," cried the dis
mayed husband of Justine. "My bread
is baked.
An idea, however, suddenly occurred
to him, and revived his courage. He ran
to the house, slipped into his uniform,
aud, seizing his faithful firelock, returned
to the beach, and posted himself on sen
try at tho moment the French were land
ing.
"Who goes there V he shouted in a
voice like thunder,
"Who goes there, yourself ?" replied
one in a boat- "Who are you I
"A sentinel."
"How long have you been on guard ?"
"Five years."
Davoust, for it was he, laughed at the
quaint reply and gave a discharge in due
form, to his involuntary deserter.
Worthy of Imitation.
Thcrc arc laws iu Maine, which I
think all thc other States would do well
to adopt. The first is one enacted at thc
suggestion of Gov.. Hubbard in 1851.
He was, and still is, an extensive medi
cal practitioner in the State, and in course
of his iourncying far and near, driving
his own beast, he realized thc need, of
frequent and convenient wartcring places
on the highways. By his recommenda
tion thc legislature passed a Jaw propos
ing that any person, to the acceptance ot
the selectmen, who should set up a good
tub or trough by the roadside, into which
pure water should be constantly dischar
ged, and make it easily accessible to trav
elers, should have an abatement of three
taxes every year a3 long, a3 that con
venience should be maintained. The
consequence is now, that you cannot trav
el on any principal road in Maine where
you will not see a flowing fountain of
pure water, at which horses and cattle
can refresh themselves, and for the most
part, also, you will see a tin dipper hang
ing from the penstock, by means of which
the human travelers may partako of Ad-
ma s ale.
Another provision of law in Maine,
entitled to imitation is this; Any per
sons in thc rural towns' who will set out
and properly protect rows of shade trees
on the lines of the road, are rewarded by
an abatement" of their taxes. In many
towns, therefore, you will now sec the
highways ornamented and shaded by
growing sugar maples, elm, lindod, and
other deciduous trees. In "many instan
ces thc effect is much set off by thc in
termingling of evergreen trcca, such as'
hemlocks, firs, spruce, cedars and pines.
Such ornaments are not only a luxury to
travelers in warm weather, but they cm
brace the ague of thc contiguous farms.
An ex Editor.
How to Sustain a Paper.-
The Dayton Journal gives the follow
ing sensible directions :
1st. Subscribe aud pay for it.
2d. Get your neighbor to take it..
3d. Seek printing and advertising tcf
the office.
4th. Help make the paper interest
ing by sending local items to the editor.
Will our subscribers pleaso practice
upou these rules.
I An editor in Maine has never been
re-!known to drink any water. He says ho
l, 1" 1 l - 1
never heard of water used as a
general
11.. i H.T 1 1
w iii-ii i ii k 1 1 if hi rn nro rnnn 1 1, i:ii i in .
j
An Irishman swearing on assault a-
gainst his three sdns thus concluded : 1
... - . 1
down
1865.
A Spartan Marriage.
Many of the laws of Lycurgus, in con-
uctuuu ttiiu luia suutuub, uuuiu UHUOUb-
uuk.wujv WIIU MIU UDUrUUatlOIl 01 Uie
fn,ii. jj i ni. li. - . n .-.
- iair sex of modern times. The time for
marriage was fixed by statute that of the
man at about thirty or thirty-five years ,
that of the lady at about twenty, or a
little younger. All men who continued
unmarried after the appointed time were
liable to prosecution, and all old bachelors
were prohibited from being present at
me pupiic exercises ot the Snartant mat
aens, and were denied the usual respect
-i i ....
and Honors paid to old nm- "Whv
snouiu i give you places' cried the
young man to the old unmarried gentle
-1. - 1 1 -r . . . . . " j
man, "when vou have no child to jriva-mn
place when I am old V On marriage
portions were given to any of the maid
ens, so that neither poverty should prevent
a gallant, nor riches tempt him to marry
contrary to hist'inclina,tion3. The parents
of three children enjoyed coniderable im
munities, and those with for childreu
paid no tax whatever a regulation which
all married men with large families will
readily admit to be most wise and equi
table. Every marriage was preceded by
a betrothal, as in other Greek cities but
the marriage itself was performed by the
young Spartan carrying off his bride by
pretended abduction, and for some time
afterward she only met her husband on
stated occasions. This extraordinary way
band Irom wasting too much of his time
in hiswife's society during the first year
of their marriage ; aud in order to ccono-
mise the bride's charms, it was customary
for her bridesmaid to cut off all her hair
on the wedding day, so that some time
at least, her personal attractions should
increase with her years.
Value of Amusement
The world must be amused. It is en
tirely false reasoning to suppose that any
human being can devote himself exclusi
vely to labor of any kind. It will not do.
Rest alone will not give him adequate re
lief. He must enjoy himself, lie must
laugh, sing, dance, cat drink and be mer
ry. He must chat with his friends, exer
cise his mind in exciting gentle emotions,
and his body agreeable demonstrations of
activity. Thc constitutions of the hu
man system demands this. It exacts a
variety of influences and motion. It will
not remain in health if it cannot obtain
the variety. Too much merriment af
fects it as injuriously as too muoh sadness;
too much relaxation is as pernicious as
none at all. Eut to the industrious tailor,
the sunshine of thc heart is just as iudis
pensablc as the material sunshine is to
the-flower both soon pine away and die
if deprived of it.
Harriage.
is a school aud exercise of
Marriage
virtue, and though marriage has cares.
yet the single life has desires, which are
more troublesome and more dangerous.
and often end in sin. while thc cares arc
but instances of duty aud- exercises of
piety; and therefore if single life has
more privacy of devotion, yet marriage
has more necessities and more varieties
of it ; is an exercise of more graces.
Marriage is the proper scene of piety and
patience, of the duty of parents and thc
charity of relations ; here kindness is
united and made firm as a ceutrc.
Marriage is the nursery of Heaven.
The virgin sends prayers to God, but sho
carries but one soul to him ; but thc state
of marriage fills up the number of the
elect, and has in it the labor of love and
the delicacies of frieudship, the blessings
of society, and the union of hands and
hearts. It has in-it legs' of beauty but
uiore of safety than the single life ; it has
moro care but less danger ; it is moro
merry and more sad , it is fuller of sor
rows and fuller of joys ; it lies under moro
burdens, but it is supported by all the
strength of love charity, aud those bur
dens arc delightful. Marriage is the
mother of the world, and preserves king
doms', and fills cities, and churches, and
Heaven itself. Celibacy, like the fly in
the heart of the apple, dwells in perpe
tual sweetness, but sits aloue, and is cbu
fined and dies in singularity ; but mar
riage, like thc uscfull bee, builds a house
and gathers sweetness from every flower,
and labors and unites into societies and
republics, and sends out armies, and feeds
the world with delicacies, aud obeys their
king aud keeps order, aniLcxcrcises many
virtues, and promotes thc interest of mau
kind, and is that state of good things to
which God has designed thc present con
stitution of tho world.
Genuine Eloquence
The are no peoplo in thc world with
which eloquence is so universal as with
the Irish. When Leigh Ritchie was
traveling id Ireland, ho passed a man
who was a painful spectacle of pallor,
squalor, and raggedness. His heart smote
him, and he turned back.
"If you arc in want," said Ritchio,
"why don't you beg ?"
"Surely, it's begging I am, yer hon
nor." 'You didn't say a word."
"Of course not, yer honor, hut see how
thc skin is spakin' through thc holes in
my trowsers I arid thc bones cryin' out
. H M m -w m m
arir with a thousand tongues V
NO. 18f
Extract of Words.
The following anecdote is related of an
Eastern monarch, and is exceedingly sug
gestive. We once heard of a distinguish
ed physicao who thanked God because
lie was deaf since it saved him from hear
ing a world of nionsense. Rut we are in
clined to think quite as much nonsense
enters through the eye as ear. The'
monarch had a librarv containing TinnW
enough to load a thousand camols.
"1 cannot read all this," said l.
"Select the cream and essence of it, and!
lot me have that." Whereupon th'o libra
rian distilled this ocean of words down to
thirty camel loads. "Too bulky yet."
said thc monarch. "I have not titfio to
read that." Whereupon the thirtj loads
were doubly distilled, and a selection Iras'
made, sufficient to load a ringle ass.
"Too bulky yet," said the monaroh. '
Whereupon it was doubly distilled, and
thc only rcsidum was these throe lines
written on a palm leaf: "This is the aunif
of all science. Perhaps." "This is the
surn of all morality Love that which ia
good, and practice it," This is the sunt
of all creeds Believe what is true, and'"
do uot tell all you believe."
Be frank with thc world Frankness f
thc child of honesty and courage. Sav'
just what you mean to do on evcrv oc-
sion, and take it for granted vou mean
to do what is right. If a friend ask vou
favor, you should grant it, if it is
reasonable ; if it is not, tell him plainly
why you cannot. You will wrong him
and wrong yourself by equivocation
of any kind. Never do a wrong thing to'
make a friend or to keep oue ; the man
who requires you to do so, is dearly pur
chased, and at a sacrifice. Deal kirdly',
and firmly with all men ; and you will
ind it the policy which wears the best.
Above all, do not appear to others what'
you are not. If you have any fault to'
find with any one, tell him, not others, of
what you complain. There is no more
dangerous experiment than that of un
dertaking to be one thing to a man's face.
and another behind his back. We should
ive, act and speak out of doors as the
phrase is, and say and do what we mo"
willing should be known and read by all
men. It is not only best as a matter of
principle, but as a matter of policy.
o-
"Sir," said a sturdy beggar to a benevo'-
lent man, "please to give me a quarter;
I am hungry and unable to procure food.
mU L
j-iiu quarter was given, when the begger
said
"Vnn ,1 .L1. 1
You
-.uu. uuvu uuuu ;i uuuio ueeu.
have saved me from somcthinsr.
waiicn j. icar 1 will vet havo to nnmn t.n
77
"What is that?" said the benefactor
"Work," was thc mournful answer.
Kiss
mg
Josh Buillings. says there is
"one cold, blue, lean kiss, that always'
makes him shiver to see. Two persons
(ov the fcmail pcrswashun) who witness-'
cd a great mennv vounrrcr nnrl mnro Tn1-
. -t j o --- f -
py daze meet in some publick plase, and'
not having saw each uther for 2-1 hours,
they kiss immegiately ; they then blush
and larf at what they say to each other
and kiss again immegiately. Thin kind:
ot kissing puts mo in, mind ov tow ohP
nmts tricing
n ...
tew strike fire."
Francis Pigg, of Indiana, has run away
from Mrs. Pigg and four little Piggs.
uur imp says lie is a llog.
An old Indian, who had witnessed tho'
effect of whiskey for many years, said
that a barrel of liquor contained one
thousaud songs and fifty fights. Pretty
correct Indian that.
$
"Ike," said Mrs. Partington, "how do'
they find out the distance between the'
earth and thc sun ?" ".Oh," said the
young hopeful, "they calculate a quarter
of tlmdistaapc, and then multiply by
four."
"Pa," said a youngster, "what is punc
tuation ?"
"It is tho part of putting stop', mr
child."
"Then I wish you would go down Into1
the ecllnr and punctuate thc cider barrel,;
as tho cider is running all over thc floor."
A gentleman at thc Aster House fa-
blc, New York, asked thc person sitting
next, to him if he would please to pass"
thc mustard. "Sir," said the man do
you mistake me for-a waiter ?' "Oh, no
,sir," was tlje reply, "I mistook you for a"
gentleman.
"Ed," a customer who had just pur
chased a bottle of Ramsey's Scotch, from1
a jocose apothecary, "can you toll mo-
why whiskey always tastes smoky ?" '
"It is because it always comes, in pipes."
replidd the compounder of pills".
"So Tom, the old liar, Dick Fibbing,;
is dead." "Yes his yarns are wound up;'
! he'll lie no more the old rascal." "In
deed, it's my opinion, Tom, that ho'l lio1
still 1"
A Danish writer speaks of a hut so mis
erable that it did not know which way to
fall, and so kept standing. This is liko
tlie mau that had such a complication of
diseases that he did not know what to'
dio of, and so lived on.
Monroe, Michigan, in said to have'
eighty two marriageable girlg' anU'dnl
three singlo mcu'.1