1
. ... -ri--
iiHT v' . . r"v:" 1 ' ' '''''V,
JDcwiri to ftolitirs, literature, Agriculture, S-rinttt, illorality, anb nteral ttclligcnc.
. i
VOL 19.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA. JUNE 7, IS60.
NO.
90
Published b? Theodore Sf.hoch.
mnnc T,!rtiioo k,.; j rr,.rt
dollars and a quarter, half yearly and if not paid be
ItiUiUO. ..wuuuiuo uiiuuill ill UUtiiilUl; 1. y
fore the end of the year, Two dollars and a half.
No papers discontinued until all arrearages are paid,
except at the option of the Editor.
lETAdv-ertisements of one square (ten lines) or less,
ons or three insertions, $1 00. Each additional inser
ton. "25 cents. Longer ones in proportion.
JOB PRtflTTIffG.
Having a general assortment of large, plain and or
namental Type, e are prepared to execute every lc
scription of
Cards, Circulars, Hill Heads, Notes, Blank Receipts,
".h'lMpK
ted with nottness and aespatcu, on ra.isoiidi)ie terms
at this office,
j. Q. DUCKWORTH. JOHN HAYN
To Country Dealers.
DUCKWORTH & HAYN,
WHOLRSALE DEALERS IN
Groceries, Provisions, Liquors,&c.
No. 80 Dey street, New York.
June 10, 1859. ly.
The Girls and the Wives.
Some body has written the following
about the girl?, and set it afloat:
God bless the girls,
Whose golden curls
Blend with our evening dreams.
They haunt our lives
Like spirit wives,
Or as naiads haunt the streams.
Thoy soothe our pains,
They fill our brains
With dreams of summer hours;
God bless the girls,
God bless their curls,
God bless our human flowers.
The wives, we think, are quite as de
serving of a blessing as the girls; there
fore, we submit the following:
God bles the wives,
They fi!! our Irises
With little bees and honey;
They ease life's shocks,.
They mend our socks,
But don't they spend the money?
When we are sick
They heal us quick
That is, if they shouid love u-;
If not, we die,
And yet they cry,
And place tombstones above us. .
Of roguish girls,
With sunny curls,
We may in fancy dream;
But wives true wives
Throughout our lives,
Are everything they seem.
Wouldn't Own Up.
Joe Stetson was a wild, frollicking fel
low, who spent most of his time in drink
ing and spreeing, wbile his wife poily,
was left at home to do tbe ohores. Upon
a certain occasion Joe left home to bo
baok as be said, that night. Xiht eatno,f
but about sunset Joe came up in the'
worst condition imaginable his clothes;
dirty and torn, one eye in deep mourning,
and bis face presenting more the appear
ance of a piece of raw beef than anything
else. Polly met him at the door, and no
ticing his appearance, exclaimed :
"Why, Joe, what in the world is the
matter ?"
''Polly," said Joe, "do you know long
Jim Andrew's ! Well, him and me had
a fight."
"Wbo whipped, Joe!" asked Polly.
"Polly, we bad the hardest fight you
ever did see I bit him and be hit me,
and then we clinched. Polly, ain't sup
per most ready ? I ain't bad nothing to
at since yesterday mornin'."
'But tell me who whipped, Joe ?" ask-
ed Polly.
"Polly," replied Joe, "JL tell yer you
A", A ana c m dnVtt. 9 Q lltm ) TlH TUP
n.Ar AA kp ih a floht 8S him and meittu" iiuuupKUBBB mmtJU
had. When he clinched me I jerked ieaTV? ac?.mPaniea4lDJ D,e
loose from bim, and then gin bim three! hf-hnP1. balf-despainng mother--or
four of the most sufficientest licks yer J wfb,oe0 0D,J h?P 8 10 .a tb.er f. bellf
ever beam of. Polly, ain't supper taost'f br 0tt cco in the justice of
t, , J . j j) j tho God she worshiped, and in the noble
ready 7 I'm nearly starved." , ,
,.ri . n l t- j :n ? counsel, wbo, without hope of fee or re
"Do tell me wbo whipped, will you V , ' ,
j T n r r . j ward upon eartb, had undertaken tbe
"Poll v " said Joe " vou don't know cau.e-took his seat in tho prisoner's box,
nothing about fibt n' I tell 2 le& with a "stony firmness" listened to
nothing about ngbtm . I tell yer we, J
lou t HKe tigers, we rouea, and we ronea,'"" -""'"6 Vi luu ,uu"',u'v'u"
and we tumbled first him on top and 8at quietly by, while tho large auditory
then tbe boys would pat me on the sboul-jloked 0D him as thougu wondering what
der, and holler, Oh, my I Stetson 1' We be could saJ ,n defence of one whose guilt
gouged, and bit, and tore up the dirt in'eJ "garaea as certain, lbe exaroma-
Seth Runnel's grocery yard wuss nor two on 01 w'tneseos ioj ineatatc was begun, of tbe WOfjding of happiness and grief in
wildbulU. Polly, ain't supper ready ijanda well-arranged mass of evidence, thig life Tho ohants and songs and
I'm very hungry." circumstantial and positive, was mtro-:gees of merry ono8 to.day wiU be broken
"Joe Stetson I" said Polly, in a tone. ed, which seemed to impale tbe pns- by waila to.morroW for tb0 sod will be
bristling with anger, "will you tell me 'r bcJ0Ild tbo Pf "J'J of extrication. iled on tho breast of somo wo thought
who whipped I" i The COUDScl for lhe deeil3e propounded QOt 80 near the gravo. Wo read who
"Polly," said Joe, drawing a long but few questions, and those of a charao- aro marrjed and wish them joy; a lino be
sigh, "IMkred!" :ter which excited no uneasiness on tho low is the reCord of death, and wo say
il part of tbe prosecutor merely, m most mourDfaHyf peaoe to their ashes. Sorrow
Q , . L -j , 'capes, requiring the mam witness to be treQ(jB on the heefi of j0J songg aro huBh.
-ae-Some years ago a drupgist used to defioite a8 t0 time and place. When the ed tQ0 footM ofJdeJath. taaghs are
be great on stunning advertisements of evidence of tbe prosecution was ended, broken rudely; voices, no matter how mu
wonderful panaceas that would cure any- Lincoin introduced a few witnesses to re- Bioa, are 8tif,'cd in a momerjtnever a-
vuiug, iuc aurora orea,iB io
pimple." One Sunday morning tbo good
druggist saw suspended over the door of
msnlace of bllEiness a larofi VilanlrsnnlrA-
to which was appended a placard that
r - o
frora a child four years of age, by two
doses of Coastoek's Vermifuge.
Abe
' lilHCOUl.
j -
'Tbrillinff Episode in the Life of
oorrcsponueuce or tne uieveiana .Loader, rose, while a deathly silence pervated the
As a Western man, I wish togi?o vent, vast audience, and in a olear but moder
to my enthusiasm over tbe nomination of ate tone began his argument Slowly and
the Hon. Abraham Lincoln for President, carefully he reviewed tho -testimony,
of tho United States. Mr. Lincoln, or 'pointing out tbe hitherto unobserved die
"Old Abe," as his friends familiarly call oropanoies in tbe statements of the prin-
hitn, is a self-made man. A Kcntuokian
. by birtb, he emigrated to Illinois in his plain and plausible he made to appear j having pierced the carotid artery'; the vie- facturo astronomical instruments, and
i boyhood, w here he earned his living at orooked as a serpent's path. The witness tim had been for some time wasting away docks and watches, which are copied af
the anvil, devoting bis leisure hours to' had stated that tbe affair took place at a ' by disease. Tho landlord was one of the ter European models, probably intro-
8tudv HainS chosen the law as his fa-
n- if. j j l: . -j..
ture calling, he devoted himself assidu -
ously to bis mastery, contending at every
step with adverse fortune. During this
period of study, be for sometime found a
home under tbe hospitable roof of one
Armstrong, a farmer who lived in a log
bouse some eight miles from the village
of Petersburg, Menard County. Here,
clad in homespun, with elbows out, and
knees covered with patches, young Lin
coln would master his lessons by the fire
light of the cabin, and then walk to town
fnr fhf nnrnoRo rf rpnlffitlnn TKio mnn
; Arm8trorj was himse)f ' b t he 8aw
j the genius struggling in the young student
and opened to him his rude home, and
opened to him bia rude home,
bid him welcome to his coarse fare. How
Lincoln graduated with promise, how ho
has more than fulfilled that promise, how
honorably he acquitted himsolf alike on
the battlefield, in defending our border
settlements against the ravages of savage
toes, and m the balls of our national le
gislature, are matters of history, and need
no repetition here. But one little inci
dent of a more private nature, standing
as it docs as a sort of sequel to some things
already alluded to, 1- deem worthy of reo-
ord. Some few years since the oldest
son of Mr. Lincoln's old friend Armstrong,
tbe chief support of his widowed mother
the good old man having some time pre
viously passed from earth was arrested
on tne coarge oi murder. A young man
had been killea during a riotous melee,
in the nibt time, at a campmecting, and
one of his associates ttated that the
death wound was inflicted by young Arm
strong. A preliminary examination was
gone into, at which the accuser testified
so positively that there seemed no doubt
of the guilt of the prisoner, and therefore
he was held for trial. As is too often the
case, the bloody act caused an undue de
gree of excitement in tbe public mind.
Every improper incident in the life of the
prisoner each act which bore the least
semblance of rowdyism each school-boy
quarrel was suddenly remembered and
magnified, until they pictured him as a
fiend of the most horrid hue. As these
rumors spread abroad, they were receiv
ed aB gospel truth, and a feverish desire
for vengeance seized upon the infatuated
populace, while only prison-bars preven
ted a horrible death at the bands of a
mob. The events were heralded in the
county papers, paiuted in the highest col
ors, accompanied by rejoicing over the
certainty of punishment being meted out
to the guilty party. The prisoner, over
whelmed by the circumstances under
which he found himself placed, fell into a
melancholy condition, bordering upon
despair; and the widowed mother, looking
through her tears, saw no cause for hope
earth! v aid
At this juncture, the widow received a
letter from Mr. Lincoln, volunteering his
services in an effort to save the youth
from the impending stroke. Gladly was
bis aid- accepted, although it seemed im
possible for even his sagacity to prevail
in such a desperate cae; but the heart of
the attorney was in his work, arfd ho set
about it with a will that knew no such
word as fail. Feeling that the poisoned
condition of the public mind was such as
to preclude tbe possibility of impanneling
as impartial Jury in the Court having
jurisdiction, he procured a change of ven
ue, and a postponement of tbe trial. He
then went studiously to work unraveling
the history of the case, and satisfied him
self that hi client was (he victim of mal
ice, and that the statements of tbe accu
ser were a tissue of falsehoods. When
the trial was called on, tho prisoner, pale
. i-i-.i t i
move 8ome erroneous impressions in re-
g8rd t0 tD0 previous c
ent wh0 though some
sharacter of bis ou-
what rowdish, bad,
i i :.:!,'
aot. arjd to show that a greater degree of
OevQr UeeU UUUWU VU vuiubjiu a iwuuo
nnA nA ihnn il mrianr! nnd tho
jdeceased. The prosecutor felt that tho
oase was a olear one. and bis opening
' sneeoh was brief and formal.
I c
JLincoio a
oipal witness. That which had seemed
(certain hour in tho evening, and that, by
l :a f k:i.i u:: t.
jtho aid of tho brightly shining moon, he
Baw the prisoner inflict the death blow
with a slung-shot. Mr. Lincoln showed
that at the hour referred to, the moon had
not yet appeared above tho horizon, and
consequently the whole tale was a fabri
cation. An almost instantaneous change
seemed to have been wrought in the
minds of his auditors, and the vordict of
"not guilty" was at tho end of every
tongue. But the advooate was not con
tent with this intellectual achievement.
His whole being bad for months beon
bound up in this work of gratitude and
mercy, and, as tbe lava of the overchar
ged crater bursts from its imprisonment,
so great thoughts and burning words leap
ed forth from the soul of tho eloquent Lin
coln. Ho drew a pioture of the perjurer so
horrid and ghastly that the aocuser could
sit under it no longer, but reeled and
Btaggered from the Court-room, whilo the
audience fanoied tbey could see the brand
upon his brow. Then in words of thril
ling pathos, Linooln appealed to tho ju
rors as fathers of sons who might become
fatherless, and as husbands of wives who
might be widowed, to yield to no previous
impressions, no ill-founded prejudice, but
to do his client justice; and as he alluded
to the debt of gratitude which he owed
tbe boy's sire, tears were seen to fall from
many eyes unused to weep. It was near
night when he concluded by saying that,
if justice were done as he believed it
would be boforo the sun Bhoald set, it
would shine upon his client a freo man.
The Jury. retired, and the Court adjourn
ed for tho day. Half an hour had not o
lapsod, when, as the officers of tbe Court
and the volunteer attorney sat at the tea
table of their hotel, a messenger announ
ced that tbe Jury had returned to their
seats. All repaired immediately to the
Court-Houso, and while the prisoner was
being brought from the Jail, the Court-
room was filled to overflowing with citi
zens of the town. When tho prisoner
and his mother entered, silence reigned
as completely as though tbe house were
empty. Ine toreman of the Jury, m an
swer to the usual inquiry from the Court,
delivered the verdict of "Not Guilty 1"
The widow dropped into the arms of her
son, wuo littea oer up, ana cold ner to
look upon bim as before free and inno
cent. Then, with the words, "Where is
Mr. Lincoln 7" he rushed across the room
and grasped the hand of bis deliverer,
whilo his heart was too full for utterance.
Lincoln turned his eyes toward the West,
where the sun still lingered in view, and
then turning to the youth, said, "It is
not yet Bundown, and you aro free." I
confess that my cheeks were not wholly
unwet by tears, and I turned from tbe af
fecting scene. As I oast a glance behind,
I saw Abraham Lincoln obeying tho di
vine injunction, by comforting the wid
owed and the fatherless. D.
Beware ofthe Boosters.
Cbickon fanoiers who are in the habit
of teasing a pet rooster at feeding time,
should be made aware of the fact that
the spurs often contain dangerous virus.
We clip the following from an exchange :
"Recently as Mr. Harris, of Marble
head, Mass., was feeding his fowls, a well
grown cock suddenly flew at him and
struck one of its spurs a short distanoe
into his leg just below tho knee. Mr.
Harris thought nothing of tbo occurrence
until a day or two afterwards, when he
started to walk some distance from homo,
when bo was seized with such a pain in
his log that he could not prococd and was
obliged to be taken home in a wagon.
Since Tuesday night of last week, he has
not been able to Bleep a wink, and all tho
time be has lain in agonizing pains. On
Thursday evening he became delirious,
and all night continued crowing at tho
top of his voice. Tho sufferer has had
the best medical aid, but nothing has ton
ded to relie7? h sufferings, and his oase
now adored hopeless. Mr. Harris
ia a .oung man twenty yeors of auo."
iSf Reader, did you ever notice imme
diately after tho "marriage head," that
the .0bituary" notice followed? Typical
-: tn hn hnarli hv nn hnlnw.
K?iT'n n!nn tVinf taUnm n Tiinun nf mv
mind!?' exclaimed a certain young lady j
- liiw uuuu imiuh . j
renlied the uncle, "vou have none to
spare."
Science Aiding Justice.
The facts embodied in the following
narration, in connection with a recent
murder trial, show tho value of scientific
acquirements and are of excoeding inter
est to a large olass of our readers:
A traveler was found dead in his bed.
one morning, at a country tavern. His
throat was cut at the side, the instrument
most influential and highly-esteemed per-
t . ? . b,J . r-
Bons in the neighborhood, was extensive-
ly and well connected, and bad a large pouter's and cabinet makers' tools arc al
and interesting family. Having been so equal to any of European manufao
soen very late at night passing through ture. They are said to be very qaick in
tho hall into which the traveler's door o-' observing any improvement introduced
pened, the suspicions of certain persons ' by foreigners, make themselves master of
were aroused; and upon being taken into it, and copy it with skill and exactness,
custody, a penknife was found in his pock- Their coinage is well stamped, as they
ot, with apparent blood stains on tbe are good die sinkers. In wood, no poo
largo blade, and something similar on tbe pie work better, and in lacquering they
ivory handle. Tho knife was placed in excel the world. Other nations have at-
the hands of an expert physiological chem-
ist, ior examination. Tne stain was
found to bo of blood and not of iron rust
or paint, as it contained albumen and an
imal fiber. Tho blood on the ivory han
die contained a large amount of iron, that
on tbe blade, comparatively little. As
human blood contains ten times as much
iron as that of animals, it seemed certain
that tho knife in question oould not have
entered a human body; still there was a
doubt, because in slow disease there is a
groat doficit of iron in the blood, which
deficit is a not unfrequent cause of death.
But as the blood on the ivory handle
had tho full amount of iron for a man in
vigorous health, it seemed to show that
there were two different kinds of blood,
one human certainly, the other possibly
so. Hence another mode of inquiry was
proposed. Tbe blood of animals and
men crystallizes, but in different forms
that of man represented by a perfect
square lengthened oubo, called prismatic;
that of animals, by the cube, tetrahedal
as several-sided hexagonal. This analy
sis entirely removed the doubts connected
with tbe proceeding, for it demonstrated
that the blood on the blade was that of a
lower animal, and that on tho handle was
certainly human.
A third line of investigation was pur
sued. All the inner surfaces of the-human
body are covered with a glairy-looking
fluid called "mucus," which is differ
ently constituted, according to the part of
the body from whioh it its taken. As ob
served through a microscope, that which
is found about the upper part of tbe
throat presents tho appearance of a pave
ment of bricks or square pieces, bcDce it
is called "tesselated." Tho mucus from
some parts is conical, looking like a pay
ment made of round pieces, flattened.
A third kind, coming from the intestines,
seems hairy, cilliated, waving as the tops
of long grass under the influence of the
wind. Examining the blood on tbe han
dle which was now known to be that of a
human being, it was found not to present
the pavement-like appearanoo, but it did
clearly show tho wavy lines; it could not,
therefore, have como from the throat, and
as the traveler had no wound except that
on the throat, and as tbe blood on tbe
blade was clearly animal blood and not
human, no part of tbe blood on the knife
could have beon that of the unfortunate
traveler, and therefore the landlord was
dieoharged, when he gave the following
statement:
Some days before, wbile out hunting,
he killed several squirrels, and stooped
to cut a switoh with a knob at tbe root,
on which to string his game: tbe knife
! slipped as he cut upward, and it penetra
ted tbe abdomen. In his haste bo wiped
the knife oloan with some leaves, olosed
the blade, and in attempting to put it in
to bis pocket, it fell on the ground; he
picked it up and directed his steps home
ward. In a few minutes one of the squir
rels slipped off; he pierced it through with
his knife, strung it on the switoh, and
had not used the knife since. This was
plausible, and he showed tho wound, not
yet entirely healed; but this could oasily
have boen made to answer an objoot
The physiologist therefore proposed as a
mere matter of ourious interest, to exam
ine the blood on tbe blade and also that
on tbe bandlo. That on the handle was
wavy, cilliary, with tho largest amount of
iron, showing that it must have beon from
a man oi robust beaitu ana tno mucus
, lt , , , .. i
from tho abdomen is always cilliary and j
of robust health and tbo mucus
never tesselated. Again, the blood ad
hering to a knife penetrating a living body
coagulates that entering in a body al
ready dead never does. The blood on
the blade, already shown to be that of a
mere animal, was now found to bo in
coagulablo. Hence, tbat on tbo blade
was shown to bo tbo blood of a mere an
imal already dead; that on tho handle
was tbe blood of a man in vigorous health,
and could not have come from the throat,
and almost certainly oamo from tbe abdo
men.
When the knife fell on tho ground,
tho handle touched somo of tbe loaces
with whioh it had just been wiped. Thus
the obain ofovidenoo for the landlord's
innocence was unbroken and perfect.
Tho real culprit was subsequently found,
tried and executed, confessing bis guilt.
m .9
It is certain that in tbe progressive
march of Boionoe and art tho unohangea-
hU Uwh nf nature will be hotter under-
stood correcting the errors and fallacies
- o -
of human judgment; and tbe testimony
in fnrm.
ing ber opinions and enabling her togive
ber decision tgith her eyes open
Japanese Industry.
The Japauese are industrious and in
genious people. Nearly all the useful
metals are worked by thorn with great
skill, especially iron, cobpor. cold, and
i silver; and they possess an art in tbe com
bination of metals for beauty and effect
unknown to other people. Their sword
blades are admirable. Tbev also manu-
duccd by the Dutch. Their mirrors are
n- ...j m, -
metallic, and very beautiful. Their ear
tempted in vain to imitate and equal them,
owing cbieny to tbe material necessary
in proparing thewood, which is the gum
of a tree known only to themselves, called
the varnish tree. Occasionally specimens
of their lacquer work, through the Dutch
residents of Dezima, have found their
way to this country, but it is said the
best samples are never sent out of the
kingdom. They manufacture glass, both
colored and uncolored; and their porce
lain is both delicate and beautiful, beyond
all rivalry. Paper tbey produoe in abun
dance, and principally from the bark of
the mulberry tree. It is of different
qualities, and somo of it is as soft and
flexible as our cotton clotb, for whioh it
might be mistaken, and is used for hand
kerchiefs and other domestic wants.
Tbey mako silk, the best of which is ru-
perior to that of China, and is said to be
woven by criminals of high rank, who are
confined upon a small unproductive is- night betore, and the nest day Isold it to
land, deprived of their property, and you. That night I drew it back home,
made to support themselves by their la- j sold it to you-nest day, and sol kept
bor. Tho exportation of these silks, it is on until you bought your own log twen
said.is prohibited. As a substitute for cot- , ty-sevon times!"
ton cloth, as before remarked, in the i "That's a liel" cried the mad Judgo,
manufacture of which thev have little running to his book, and esaaining his
skill, tbey use tbeir coarse, spungy pa-
per, which is quite as useful and durable.
As they have no sheep or goats, tbe man
ufacture of woolens is unknown among
them. Yery littlo leather is produced in
Japan, owing to the Budhist superstition
referred to in a former article, which
makes those manufacturing or vending it
outcasts from the rest of the population,
It is never used for shoes or other cover-
ings for the feet, such being mado from
plaited straw, for tho lower classes; the
nobility and dignitaries wear slippers
made of fine rattan slips, neatly plaited,
The ragged appearance of their feet fre-
miflnrl nffnrds .1 ridinnlona contrast to
the splendor and richness of the other
portions of their picturesque costume.
IV. Y. Express.
ScllercLtTlS
Dr. Steveus says if ten pounds of sour
dough were made into bread, in which
was one ounce of saleratus to sweeten it,
tho carbonic acid to raise it would bo
soparted, and the alkali (which is poison)
loft in tbe bread. A person in traveling
through the western and Southern States,
where they use an enormous quantity of
potash in their corn bread and short
cakes, and in the northwest where they
maue -miu-risings ana use an inorai-
nate quantity of soda and pearlash, will
find it is tbe uniform experience of pby-
sioianB tbat tneir patients sutler irom
some acute anu curonio irritation u mo
mucous tissues of tho bowels, and it is al
most impossible to raise tbo pationt unless
somo one can give them yeast bread.
Every housewife knows how to cake
effervesced broad by tbe use of saleratus
and croam of tartar. The gas which rai
ses the bread by this method is generated
by tbe same substances, and by the same
means of effervesence is produced in what
we call soda powders. It is a lazy way
of making bread, and as it leaves the tar
trate of soda and potash in the food, .it ;
should not be practiced by any wife or ;
mother who desires to maintain the health '
of her family. Within tbe past ten years,
we have bad "baking powders" "self-rai-1
sing flowor," and may others, and ninety
families in a hundred use some of these.
The effect is tho samo as far as lightness
. , , . . i,ofnnnQ nrft
is concerned, but foreign substances are
' . . , . .
ItUUbUt - UJUIV1UUU Z - ----- -
and its dyspeptic tendencies. Scientific
Americati.
A cow belonging to John Iverson, of
Ownsco Village, Cayuga county, N. Y.,
gave birtb to a calf having two distinct
and well formed heads, four ears, and
but one neck. Tho head branched off
from tho neck a few inches below tho ears.
Both mouths were perfectly formed and
seemed to have tbe necessary appurtn-
ances for tbe mastication and disposal of
food. The passago for food from the
mouths, like the two heads, appeared to
join in one whero the heads joined tho
neck. Besides tho malformation above
noticed, the calf had four full formed
hind lees, i was otherwiso natural, hav
ing a body and too front logs in
all res-
peots similar to natural calves It lived
but a few moments after birtb, as owing
to its wonderful and unusual formation it
. r . i
become necessary iu UU1
nrnmaturelv. Mr. IverSOU- 083 nau 11
stuffed. and it is flow preserved in alUits
deformity.
The Judge's Saw Log.
In the village of W lived a man
who had once been Judge of tho county,
and was known all over' tbe county by
the name of Judge L . He kept a
store and saw-mill, aud was always suro
to have the best of a bargain on his side,
by which moans be gained an ample com
petence, and some did not hesitate to call
him tho "biggest rascal in tho world."
He was very conceited withal, and used
to delight in bragging of his business ca
pacity when one was near enough to list
on. One rainy day, quite a number wore
seated around tbe stove in the store, and
he begun as usual, to tell of bia great bar
gains, and finally wound up with,
"Nobody ever cheated mo, nor they
oan't, neither."
"Judge," said an old man in the com
pany, "Iv'o cheated you more'n you'ovef
did me."
"How so?" asked the Judge.
"If you'll promise you won't go to law
about it, nor do nothin', I'll tell, or else
I won't; you are too much of a law char
acter for mo."
"Let's hearl let's hear?" cried half a
dozen voices at once. "We'll bear, you
out of it co on."
"I'll promise," said the Judg, "and
treat in the bargain if you have."
"Well do you remember that wagon
you robbed me of?"
"I never robbed you of any wagon, I
only got my own!" exclaiaaed the Judge.
"Well, I mado up my mind to have it
back, and '
"But you never did!" oriod the Judgo.
"xes I did, with interest, too:"
"How?" thundered tho now
Judge.
enrased
"Well, you see, Judge, I sold you, one
day, a very pice pine log, and bargained
with you for a lot more. That log I
, stle off your pile, down by your mill, tho
log accounts, "you never sold aic twenty
seven logs of the same measurement."
"I know it," said the vender of pino
longs. "By drawing it back and forth,
tuo end wore on, until it was only ten teot
long juat fourteen feet shorter than it
was tbo first time you bought it; and
when it got so short, I drew it home and
worked it up into shingles, and then. I
concluded I had got my money back
and in niy pocket."
The exclamation of the Judge was
drowned in the shouts of the bystanders,
and the log-drawer.found the door with-
out tbe promised treat. To see a mad
man you have only to ask the Judge if
he ever was shaved.
An Irish. Understanding.
"If I catch yee3 near my bouse again,
T'li k i.
I Uicua jvui utoa, jo m:uai, aaiu'uuo
Irishman to an other.
i uat vou asked mo Yourself."
j 3Qt j didn't ask yee3 io make love to
1 mj wjf6f y0U scoundrel."
j t haven't made lova to vour wife: von
aro laboring under some mistake."
j "Don't tell me that now; didn't I sco
I y0U wjd my 0WD ejes trying to soma tho
blarney over her?"
I "But I tell you I didn't do any such
tnjD. j don't osro that for vour wife."
giving his fingers, a snap at the words,
oDOr that."
"Yces don't care for her, hey? She's
as ffood a woman as von arc. anv da7. vo
; d,rtv blackguard, and if yees speak dis-
respectful uv her, I'll bo after tachin' yo
bother manners."
A Knotty Question.
"Sally Jones, have you dona tbo sum
I sot you?" "No, thir; I can't do it."
"Can't do itl ashamed of you. Why, at
your age I could do any sum tbat was
set me. I hate that word 'oan't;1 for
there is no sum that can't be done, I can
tell you." "I think, thir, that I knoth a
sum you can't thifur out." "Ha well,
well, Sally, let's hear it." "It ith thith,
thir: If one apple cautbed the rnim of
tbo whole humau rath, how many tbutoh
will it take to make a barrel of thweet
tinder, thir?" "Miss Sally Jo, you
may turn to yourparsoa lesson." "Yetb,
thir."
The Com Grub,
Tbo corn crop baa soveral fomidaVIe
enemies to contend with, and am sag them
is tho grub, whioh sometimes literally' de
stroys whole fields and frequently dama
ges the crop seriously One of the "best
and most judicious remedies perhaps
tbe best over suggested i tho applica
tion of salt a soon as tbe plant makes'ite
appearance above ground, prepared aid
used in this way: Take one quart com
mon salt and three parte plaster or gjp
sum, and apply ubout a taWo-spetrfel a
round each bill, and it will be found to
be a sure protection. Tbe mixtureshotld
not come in contact with theyonag piata
as it may destroy them. This method
has been tried over and over agniu Uy
some of tho best farmer of Pannftjtvania,
Delaware, and ?ew Jersey, ami when
properly applied has never Jailed to bo
perfectly successful.
fThe editor of the Louis-Hio Jour
nal advises -young ladje to 'remember
that oraugqs aro net apt to be j rizvti af
ter being squeezed a fe tit."
s