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JUcDoicb id JOoliiirs, literature, flriculturc, Science-, iHoralitn, anb 'encrai 'fntelUacnce-.
STROUDSBURG, MOJTBOE GOUNTY, PA. JULY 8viS55.
".'7 -S
'tff
" . - '
VOL 18. ,
published I)J Theodore 'ScIlOCh,
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' " Mm ,.,..
; DAILY DUTIES.
Qurjlaily; paths! with. thorns or flowers
We can't at will bestrew them ;,
"What bliss would gild the passing hours,
Tf we but rightly knew them.
The way oflife is rough at best;
But briers yield with roses;
To that wbicb leads to joy and rest, '
The hardest path discloses.
The weed's that oft we castaway,
Their simple beauty scorning,
Would form a wreath of purest ray,
And prove the best adorning.'
So, in our daily paths, 'twere well
To call each gift a treasure,
However alight where love can dwell
With life-renewing plca-ure.
THE HIGHWAYMAN.
My father, who was a clergyman, resi
ded in the early part of his life on the
t i r itT i . fin i.
lie or weig m. t ncre ..c .m.H.a-
ly acquainted with a gentleman whom I
sutll call Jieason. a
man nf I'jrrrn fnrfiinr-
and great benevolence, then far advanced
-
in years and universally respected, and
from whose lips he heard the talc I am
now about to write.
In my youth, said he, I had occasion to
go W luuu uh uuaiu, uu.
of England I traveled through, or from
v is
- , t r j l , i
immaterial. In those days coacb travel-
" , , J , ,
"t ' " "
it is now, and sometimes dangerous, for
the lonely and unfrequented roads and
commons to be traversed were often in
fc:tcd with highwaymen, and lives as well
as purses were sometimes lost. Howev
er, I was a younger man than I am now.
I had no large sum about me to lo-e,
and felt no fears, so I took a place over
night in the ,:Tru Uiue,'' which was to
start for London the following morning.
Oa taking my seat in the coach, I founJ
m.1 n n 1 1 ( ii I ii n . tTs mitil l.i n. An n.il
, , . . , ,r , i(
one lady, who with myself -made up the
ii it
number of inside passengers allowed. 1
. , . r, .1 w. r i
uiovveu. 1
,
iook a Bon oi nau-suihy, n-Jii-sieepy sur
- c ,, . , ,
Tey of my fellow traveler.- aud theu cs-
J , J lr , - j 1
conccd myself silently m my corner; and .
I presume they did the saiue.h' me, but
jt
no conversation
ensueu betweeu us.
was very early
on asuyimers morrmiii
when we left the litile town, where all
seemed as hushed and silent a-? if it had
beeu uninhabited, for not a window - was
open, not a gazer vi-ible, nod a single
pedestrian in the si trots; and we drove
out of it while the dew yet lay heavy,
on the points of the arass, and
weighed -down the young boughs of the
trees and bu-hes in the hedge-rows, be
fore even the birds were awake. Scarce?
ly awake ourselves 'we jolted along, and
I st leart was fart lo.-iug myself in dream
land, when the coach stopped with a sud
den jerk wbicb roused u all; Wo began
to rub our eyes and look about with a
puzzled sleepy air.
"Coach stops hcrcffor break'aat genT
tnen," eaid the guard, hoi Jing the door o
pen.' Wc descended and entered the travel
er's room. There the hot fragrant tea,
with its acco'npaut meets of cold beef,ham,
eggs, toast'', muffins and other ingredi
ents of a hearty meal, and the courtcsiess
and amenities of the breakfast table, hav
ing deposed us more socially towards
one another, wo remounted the coach in
a; sore harmonious frame of mind, and
one which was more likely to ensure us a
pleasant journey. We became first chat
ty, then friendly, and then intimate, con
fiding to caoh other who wo were, whence
we came, and whither we wero going, the
fact being we had none, of us anything to
conceal. The lady, a pretty young wo
Bsn, about six and twenty, who spoke
little, but whose few remarks evinced
much shrewdness and observation, had
been on a visit to her parents, and was
now going back to her husband, a law
ftationer in London; one of the two gen
gentlemen was a merchant, who bad been
Making a business tour in the provinces;
the other a young officer returning to his
regiment after leave xf absence: while I
myself was going up to ttfwn to consult a
lawyer regarding a will of which I was
executor.
My companions were all well-informed
jad agreeable, and the officer, especially,
kept 'us in continual laughter by his lively
Billies. The time passed pleasantly a
long, and it was with great regret that,
after a merry repast, when we again halt
ed for dinner, we heard him say ho must
now leave us, as his regiment was quar-
tered in a town about six miles from Ithafr .
SL flnd his road lav no :
lonrer in the same direction as ours. Ho ;
Shw JT cordially with . all,
J -
n.rf Of mnrso. when we re-
um n v iHinwvi w j
merchant praised the Found good sense
WUICU shown through all bl3 gaj banter
n and hi wi11inrnPQj fo nrli. nn,
1Dot anu u,s willingness to ODllge,. am
and
consideration for others, in all those small
things by which a person can prove him
Roirmtl.nr n nlnnnt. nr ri;,rrnLl e
c o " "
a tellow traveler.
Ho, certainly was a very gentleman;
' I'C person, and very agreeable too," said
the. lady, turning to me, "but did you not
! 5Vherc wa3 somethiQs Peculiar in bi9
V0lcl
j "I CCUliar! iNot at all, tna am, broke
tt, u kj i, . r
i mercnant, who had taken vast fan
cy to ( the young man, J'it was a very
j pleasatt voice, and he was a very pleaa-
Still," said the lady, "I think his
voice was very peculiar, so singular, that
T am sure I could swear to it anywhere,
if I heard it again."
I made no reply, and nothing more
wa said about the officer or his voice.
We conversed pleasantly together till we
reached the way-hide inn, whore we had
J tea. We were to travel all night. The
day had been beautiful; but as the even
! ing come on, dark masses of grey clouds
j drifted over the sky. The wind rose,
' every now aud then peals of thunder were
i heard, and continuous heavy rain fell.
j Neither moon nor stars was visible, but
j at times the black clouds that bounded
, the horizon parted, and a vivid flash of
j sheet lightning revealed to us the full
j drearine.s of the scene around the white
line of the road we were pursuing stretch
ing on on, into tiic btacU distance; tne
bare desolate common, with here aud
J there a few stunted bushes, a pond or two
'of ujuddih hue, and a few tufts of rush-
: cs growing by "them; but no vestige of hu-
. man habitatio not a house witbin s; ht
. , . . f
.... . .i
i i r i 1 i i r a. i l.
horses' hoofs, the rumble of
! wheels dragging heavily along the rough
i ctiff clayey road, aud the pluh, plash of
the rain drops, as they fell into the deep
! pools caused by the ruts. The night, the
scene, was gloomy in the extreme
..j n()t tQ a,armC(1 unnecep
. ., , , ,
-" -', .
say
this is a dreary spot; it looks
j , , u
such a place as one would exj
like just
pect to be
' robbed in.
I wish we
were safe in Lon-
don."
i The words were hardly out of her
mouth, when the coach suddenly pulled
, up. In an instaut my hand was upon the
window, and I was about to inquire the
; cause of the stoppage; when a man, whose
I face was muffled in crape, rode up, and
pointing a pistol in at the open wiudow,
I exclaimed in a fierce voice, "Yoor money
I or your lives."
I We were not heroic. We verv meekly
i iravri him the contents of
i gave him the contents of our purses and
n , A , , , r .
pocuci uook?. ana men were puramieu to
' : -n
, continue our lourncv. I'or souie time we
i trnnlfnt T.rtrxlra A f i rv ti rrn fa nnr m i f f r f r
1 . . -n
, continue our lourocy. ror souie time we
were all too much frightened to speak.
. , , . 6 . .. r,
At last when we had crossed the dreary,
, , t ,
desolate common, and come once more in
sight of human dwellings the lady said.
"Mr. Innson, do you think the highway-
man s voice was HKe mat or tne young
officer who dined with us?"
''Like hi, Ma'am!" said the Merchant;
"why the highwayman's voice was gruff
and fierce, and the young fellow's soft
and pleasant. You were too freightened
to notice, or you couldn't have thought
them alike."
"Still," said the lady quietly, "I think
the voice was like his." It had not
struck me until f-he suggested the idea,
but now on reflection, I also was convinc
ed it teas his voice, but I did not choose to
say' so The remainder of our journey
passed quietly. We met no further mis
adventure aud were glad enough when the
coach rumbled into the streets of Lon-
don. Before we parted, said I to my
! companions, "be good enough to tell me
1 the exact sums you have each lost, and
I your addresses; I also will give you mine;
and then if any of us hear anything more
about this highwayman, we shall be able
to communicate with one another." Of
course they willingly assented.
' When the coach stopped, the merohant
f sprang out, and began to bustle his lug
: gage. I helped the lady to descend, and
, as I did so I said, "I should bo glad of a
11 . r .
word with you alone, Madame." bbe
followed me into the inn. "I wanted,
said I, to ak you before we parted, if you
are sure that the highwayman's voice re
sembled the young officer's!" "I am bo
sure," she replied, "that I could swear to
it. It icas his voice"
"I must confess it struck me, too, as
being very like it," said I; "but as we
have no proof beyond mere conjecture,
aud Mr. Thomas positively denies that it
resembled it in the least, I think it would
be more prudent to say nothing about the
similarity, i win meauttme iuau auwu it ,g auiUslng to see how the aversion to
inquiries and let you know the result." I labor-saving machinery has always agi
"I will do as you wish, Mr. Benson," taded England. The first saw mill was
she replied; "after all I might bo wrong, established by a Dutchman, in 1063, but
and I would not wish to injure an inno- the public outcry agaiust the new fang
cent person." So we shook hands and led machine was so violent that the pro
parted. I called a ohaise and drove to prietor was forced to decamp with more
iny hotel. On arriving there, I instant-expedition than ever did Dutcbmanbcfore,
ly sent out for au Army List. The young ( The evil was thus kept out of England
officer had told in wbatregtmeut he serv- for several years, or rather generations ;
ed and the name of his colonel, as well but in 1798, an unluky timber merchant,
as whero they wore then quartered, and hoping that aftorso long a time, tho pub
on referring to the list. I found he had lie would be less watchful of itsjipterests
sposen tne truth, l nao towwo, u
difficulty about procuring his address,
and I wrote to him at once, I told him
snoken the truth. I had therefore, no
that 1 uau recoguizeu mm as iu uu-
wayman who had robbed us, by his voice;
i.l i 1 it. ii,- ln,l n mhn linrl hnnn nil r
ana tuai ooiu tuo
UUU LUUu UVhu " J "
. ip ,.t.
great and terrible distress had driven a
young man of his appearance and educa
tion to so dreadful a crime; and that if he
would confide inime, and let me know
what his difficulties were, I would endea
vor to assist him. provided he met ata
time and placo.named, and return his ill
gotten gains, which I would safely trans
mit to their proper owners; but that if
he failed in doing this, I would write at
once to the coloneUof his regiment, and
disgrace him by tolling the whole history.
I received a reply in a few days,- ac
knowledging with many expressions of
penitence that he was the guilty party,
and promising faithfully to meet me' and
return the money. He kept his word. He met
me at the time and place named, and re
stored the sums he bad robbod me of
confessing at the same time that he had
incurred a heavy debt tjt play, which he
had no means of paying, and; that he had
taken this way of obtaining money in or
der to avoid being disgraced as a man of
honor.
"I dared not," said he with tears, "ap
ply to my father for assistance, for such
a sum would ruin him, even if he would
pay it, and I had no alternative between
raising it by and mode, or being dishon
herd." "If," said I, "I pay tbi3 debt for you,
will you pledge me your word as au offi
cer and a gentleman, never to gamble a
gain." 'I will never on my honor. Never'11
replied he.
"Well. On that pledge I will help
you; but remember if you break your
word If I over hear of your gambling
again and I shall keep a strict watch o-
ver vou! aball at ouce inform your co
, . f . . , ,
. x 1
you forever."
"0 sir," he answered, "if you will but
help me out of my difficulties, you shall
never have cause to repent it. I will nev
er touch a card again as long as I live."
tie spoke in an accent of sincerity, and
the tears stood in his eyes.
gave
him
my hand.
"I trust
you," said I, and will help
you." in onet l paid ms debts, ana sent
hing, back to his regiment a happy man.
And sometime afterwards, by circuitous
routes, so that it could not be traced, I
transmitted to each of my fellow-travelers
the exact sum of which they had been
robbed. I had never any reason to re
pent of my conduct. The young man
proved sincerely penitent and grateful for
my forbearance and kindness. He devoted
himself to his profession, and rose in it;
I constantly corresponded with him, and
took measures to ascertain how he con
ducted himself for many years- He kept
his promise, and never gambled again.
Stop Grumbling.
Now, in order to prevent another finan
cial crisis, and sundry other terrible e
vents, too numerous to mention, we wish
to give a little advice to our fellow-citizens
of the whole grumbling fraternity.
1st. Stop Grumbling.
2d. Get up two hours earlier in the
morning, and begin to do something out
side of your regular profession.
3d. Stop grumbling
4tb. Mind your own business, and
with all your might let other people's a
lonc. 5th. Stop grumbling.
Gth. Live within your means. Sell
your horse. Give away or kill your dogs.
Smoke your cigars through an air-tight
stove. Eat with moderation and go to
bed early.
7th. Stop grumbling.
8th. Talk less of your own peouliar
gifts and virtues, and more of those of
your friends and neighbors. ,
9th. Stop grumbling. -
10th. Do all you. can to make other
people happy. Be cheerful. Bend your
neck, and back more frequently when you
pass those outside of 'select circles.'
Fulfill your promises. Pay your debts,
particularly to tho newspapers.) Be
youroelf all you wish to see in others. Be
a good man a true Christian, and then
you can't help finally to
11th. Stop grumbling.
: The Eirst Saw Mill
The old practice of making boards was
to split up the logs with wedges, and, in
convenient as the practice was, it was no
easy matter to persuade the world that
the thing could be doue in any better way.
iSaw mills were first used in Europe -in
the fifteenth century; but so late as 1555
an English embassador, having seen a
saw mill in France, thought it a novelty
which deserved a particular description.
made a rash attempt to construct anoth-
ti mi j: .ill. i i? i
... .u ,
erniill. Tho guardians of the .pnbho wel-
fare, however, were on the alert, and
, r
pulled the mill to pieces. -
w
,,, , , - , ..i .1
ise,Ynn Ml break mv heart:" as the
GEN. LANE'S TRIAL, M -Special
Correspondent to the Tribune'.
Lawrence, K. T., June 21 , 1858
For several days past theexciting sub'ject
; ubiu uus ueuu me. preliminary examina
1 tion of Gen. J. II. Lauev before a magis
trateAfor shooting ; Mr. Jenkins. Although
having no necessary connection with Kan
sas politics, the affair has received to some
extent a political aspect. The rivals and
enemies of Geri! Lane have used it as a
, means of brushing him out of their way,
' and his friends, for similar reasons, have
endeavored 'to palliate it. It is for this
reason that this investigation has assumed
political importanco. Extensive reports
I of this investigation are being ma'de and
will be published. The examination will
, consume several days more, when Lane
j will probably be committed for trial, as,
I presume, lie has no desire to be acquit
ted in a mere preliminary examination.
The importance given to the affair of this
t 'u '.l-i - T''-
stage is, doubtless, owing to political con
siderations. o far the testimony is very much mix
ed. By the evidence for the defense, as
given on Saturday, it would appear that
the shooting was done in self defense. I
have riot been able to form a decided o
pinion as to the relative merits of the
case. I regard it as involving this ques
tion whether Lane shot Mr. Jenkins in
strict self-defenso, or on a point of chival
rous pride 7 If the latter, there is no ex
cuse for it, especially in a man in bis po
sition. If the former, there is no man
who might not have been plaoed in
a condition equally unfortunate, and been
driven to commit'an act which he might
regret. Although I have not Bpoken to
Gen. Lane since the occurrence. I have
been informed that he regrets it deeply,
and has even said that he would rather
occupy the place of Jenkius than his own.
Against Lane there is the evidence that
the party shot was still at some dis
tance from him, and the obvious fact that
his personal danger must be greater after
he fired than it could be before it, as an
armed party accompanied Jenkins. In
Lane's favor there is the unquestionable
fact that Jenkius, with an armed party,
in hostile attitude, invaded Lane's" premi
ses, and were engaged in demolishing his
fences. By the tistiraony of Mr. Gates,
it appears that two shots were fired at
Gen. Lane before he shot Jenkins, and if
this is substantiated it would acquit him
both legally and morally. Sheriff Walk
er also testified that Green, who was with
Jenkins, said that if his (Green's) pistol had
goue off when the-cap burst, Lane would
not have shot Jenkins.
At the investigrtion hore several per
sons, prominent men, have been very ac
tive, and exhibited a desire, to say the
least of it, to see justice done. The tes
timony of Judge Smith was unquestiona
bly bitter. The feeling thus exhibited
has the effect of creating a popular feel
ing, on the other hand in Lane's favor.
It is regarded as a political warfare a
mong men..
All this is extremely unfortunate. The
ends of justice demand an impartial in
vestigation untouched by bias. It is due
to public morals, that nothing should in
tervene to give the matter any' bearing
but its simple one, apart from political or
personal considerations. No friendship
for or enmity to Gen. Lane, should be
permitted to enter into the account-. As
tho Investigation so far proves Lane has '
either shot Jenkins in strict self-defense
or on a point of pride, they invading
fiis premises, and evidently on hostile
business; In no case would a jury any
where return a verdict of murder. But
in all such instances grave questions will
arise. A man who occupies a public po
sition is held responsible not only for the
literal justice of his acts, but for their wis
dom. It would havo required a very
high order and delioato sense of morality
in any one occupying Gen.Lane'ssituation,
to have retreated before tho aggressor,
and preferred the scoffs of the unthinking
multitude, than by remaining to have
been precipitated into the necessity of ta
king human life. As a Southern man
and a Kcntuckian, Gon. Lane would have
lost his cofte by doing so. The man shot
had been known to express the opinion
that "Lane was a coward." It is even
charged by Lane's friends that the whole
thing was a conspiracy to destroy the
prestige of his name and popularity by
"backing him down." How many of our
Southorn Hotspurs in Congress are there
who would have done differently from
him if placed in his position admitting
the truth of tho strongest evidence against
him ?
But whilo this may explain, it cannot
palliate any such act. We know tliat it
is not only a misfortune, but a grievous Ljon waS n0,v a on tuo qui vive, and for
wrnno- that Rome nnn haa hnnn fmiltv nf J . i. ,t... -:r f tlm nrin.
wrong that some ono has been guilty of.
( It may havo been tho deceased, who has
j thus paid tho fearful penalty of bis fault,
j On the other hand, if it be proven that
, Gen. Lane shot this man in simple self
, defense, let him stand acquittod before
the world. But if it was merely a point
of "chivalrou3""rofusal to "be driven," as
has been said here, "like a dog to his
kennel," then lot the public mind hold
him responsible for such sentiment no
, matter how common or how popular. In
this respect, the public morals need cor
rection elsewhere as well as here.
Tho remains of Ex-President Monroe
have been removed from their - burial.
placo in New York city, to Richmond ,
J Virginia, for re-interment.
. STAETDTG A NEWSPAPER. -
. BV WILLIAM S. IIALDO.CK. ,
;' -Tho ubiquity of the printing press is
one of the characteristics of the age. Ev
ery corporation and company must have
its'special organ" to advocate its peculiaY
advantages; every village1 itiust bcrepre
sented by an "Advocate. a "Watch man"
ora "Torchlight." What afew years,
ago was confined exclusively to tho cities,
is now extended to almost' every village
and town in the country. ' The press is
now on jndispensible requisite to advance
the, character and interest of an locality.
It s a very easy mater for a few indi
viduals, interested in some enterprise, to
convene and "do the "wind-work" towards
establishing ah "organ;n but to come up
promptly with the"material aid,,; is wide
ly different. To promise five hundred
subscribers, to produce by a mysterious
method of addition a thousand dollars to
be made by job work and advertising, is
easier than to hand over 82,000.
.Now, the good citizens of Blowtown,
wanted to increase the value of "corner
lots" and "beautiful surbuban rcs-idences,'
determined to establish a weekly news
paper. To mature this'de'sigri, innumer
able meetings were held at the ttores and
such places as wero most convenient. At
these meetings, 'Squire Pussy man, Elder
Blowhard, 'Squire Eay-and-slow, Uncle
Ultraman, aud the -Messrs. Skinflint, took
the most prominent part. The matter
was presented in every possible light.
Pussymau thought the enterprise of vital
importance; one which "would do great
good without much sacrifice on their part
Elder Blowhard 'urged that a press be
immediately established ; though they
should at first be compelled to make a lit
tle sacrifice, they would realize double the
amount in less than six months, in the
way of a rise iu property the name of
their beautiful institution Cornhill Col
lege would be sounded abroad, and
Blowtown would be known afar off.
'Squire Easy-and-slow said ho was for
the measure. Uncle Ultraman thought
that a paper would tho business men
as they could advertise at a small cost
and receive a great benefit; besides, if
they could once get the "thing" a going,
they would shirk all responsibility on the
indisidual embarking in the enterprise,
and he couldn't back out, and if there
was any loss, it would be the publisher's.
The Messrs. Skinflint said their motto was
"the greatest good at the least cost;" and
that they believed a press would "do the
thing." ,
"For a press" was the verdict of the
citizens of Blowtown. The next thing
was to find some one to engage in the en
tcrprisc, who would control the paper and
pajf the town. This was easily accom
plished. A young printer who was at
tending, college at Blowtown, by flattery,
fair. promises and misrepresentation, was
seduced from his studies and persuaded
to assume the responsibilities of editor,
publisher and printer of "the prospective
paper, to appear under the euphoneous
title of " The JBlowtown Scientific Investi
gator." Subscription papers were circu
lated and signed by men, women and
boys, so that in anhort time a formida
ble list of names were presented. But
then, "what's in a name ?" The five lam
drcd names were made up in about the
stylo of "Kansas election returns" A
few individuals sub-crtbed for as many
as ten copies. This was considered by
them a great sacrifice.
Our young editor now began to feel
sanguine of success. Such glowing pic
tures wero presented to his mind, and
such assurance-of ultimate success, that
he began to look with contempt on other
papers, which were a reality and not a u
topian dream. He was induced to be
lieve that tho "Investigator" would soon
be tho first paper, of the country that its
subscription list would go up to thousands;
that every body's children would soou
be attending Cornhill College; and that
of course everybody's parent would tako
the paper, to Icaru how their sons and
daughters progressed; that the Professors
Snizzlc would adorn and enrich the col
umns of tho now journal with pp.arkling
gems from their "classical" and "gifted"
pens. This was a bright picture to be
contemplated by au ambitious, enthusias
tic mind.
The city was immediately visited, and
the uecessary material purchased for is
suing a country newspaper. In due time
the press and fixtures arrived" at Blowtown
when there was a great hurrah, and ex
clamations of "what a people We are!''
Every one patted the editor on tho shoul
der, aud said "good fellow I" The ama
teur publisher now set to work iu good
oarnost with his assistants to "set up the
matter" for "V x l- Expecta-
two wcuus tuo tuiivci.iiiiiuu w p. in
ters was mostly in answering tho all pre
vailing question. "When will tho first
number of tho "luvestigator" be outl"
After "days of toil aud nights of wa
wakiiig," tho long looked for paper ap
peared. It was a very creditable sheet
with a flaming introductory, replcto
with adjectives, full of promises for the
future, and "done up" at the close with
an eloquent quotation from Shakspeare.
It was a triumph of art ond intellect a
mong tho people of Blowtown. The citi
zens with unanimous voices shouted "bra
vo 1" and the editor considered himself
immortalizod. IIo waslthe subject of
discission in the "Spwihg.Society," the
social circle, and thcbar-rooro. -Old wo
men with daughters were all his true
friends, (the editor was single), young
utWcs even cast upon him a loving smiley
young widows and old maids grcetcdfun
with most abandoned flattery.
j-.Many new names were added-tos tho
subscription list, and advertisements came
rapidly in with a promise of prompt pay
ment. So the ue-w enterprise was faicjy
under sail, with a fair sky, clear tiffing
and spanking breeze. A larger number
of subscribers were on the book than had
been anticipated, andthouh but fcwhad
I paid in advance, yet there was every as-
surance tnat tne pay would be forthcom
ing when needed. With full hope ourbe
ro pursued his -prosperous voyage onttho
sea editorial, little dreaming of a cloud
sr storm in tho future. . f
Months passed away. Novelty had
withdrawn its charm, while plain.rcality
began to present to the publisher of. tho
"Investigator" the a-perites of the enter
prise. Bills wero coding due, and mon
ey must be had to meet them. An attempt
was made to collect, but only a dollar
here and there could be raised. Subscri
bers began with one accord to make ex
cuses, and fair promi.-c3 for the future.7
Still hoping for that milleniutn of pub
lishers, when delinquent subscriber will
pay up their bills, recourse was had to
borrowing money at three per cent. This
was a rash expedient, but the only alter
native, as the many warm friends of tho
I press refused to do better. Repeated
auus appeared m the columns of the "In
vestigator," calling on delinquents to pay
j up their arrearages; but with very little
chect.
Disaffection now began to creep in, and
whilom friends began to 'weary of well
doing." They couldn't seo why it need
ed money to carry on a small paper. A
paper with six hundred names on the list
ought to live without complaint. The
Skinfiinters thonght they were not puffed
enough, and heaped their maledictions on
the editor for presuming to charge for
editorial notices. Pussvman thought his
puff not quite as good as Slow-and-easy's.
The politics of the paper began to be de
nounced in as many different ways as
there were political parties Thus, hun
dreds of complaints were entered against
the hapless editor, because he "dared call
for justice."
By this time our hero finds himself in
no enviablo position sans dollars, sans
j friend, sans hope! nc had been oharg-
received high rents, outrageous bills for
boarding, etc. Amid incessant labor at
; the case and pres?, he had failed to make
his paper as interesting as was demanded
; But no allowances were made; iuability
was the excuse of exacting readers. .The
I learned Snizzles had written somc-dry
j trash for the farmers on ' Gathering-Seed
Corn" a subject of which the author
was profoundly ignorant. Also another
article on the "Topography of a Fnog
Pond," with "Critical Notes" concerning
the inhabitants thereof.
The volume was now half closed. A
crisis in business affairs had alniost par
alyzed trade; money was scarce andTccl
lections almost impossible to be made.
The last "bundle" of paper was used,
while the paper mills refused further
credit until former supplies were paid.
At this critical juncture our almost dis
heartened editor made a last effort' col
lect outstanding accounts. By this time
creditors bad ceased to bceven gcnUe?neui
ly. If one pai-i up he did so by with
drawing further patronage. Some de
nied their accounts; and they never sub
scribed and would not paj. Itwas.no
use. A sufficient sum of money could
not be raised to purchase a fret-h supply
of paper; so after a brilliant descending
existence of six months, the "Blowjowo
Scientific Investigator" Mowed up!"
So ended the magnificent farce. Tho
aditor found himself two hundred. dollars
out of pocket, besides his six month's
work. His credit was likewise gone, and
but few friends remained. Slanderous
tongues circulated all manner of false re!
ports in regard tothc paper and the unfor
tunate proprietor. The office was soon sold
to pay off the debts,whcn hungry creditors
liko ravenous wolves rushed together,
each one struggling for the greatest share
of tho spoils. And the good citizens said
amen! It has cost us but little, and doge
a good deal of good! "Who cares Jar ex
pense?" The editor of one of our exchange g
grown melancholy, and took to writing
poetry. Here is a verse from hi pent
addressed to a young lady whom hVfell
in love with, but who rejected him on ac
count of his poverty :
Now if I could your hand diskiver,
I vow I'd swim the Maumce riverV,
And to win so fresh a bud, AJft
I'd wade up to my neck in mad, .
' V.fii-
B3T"Pa, I know what a fillibnster'is?"
"Well, John, what is a fillibu?ter tJ;1
"It's green clover." "rzJ
"Green what!"
"Green clover. 'Cause, when Uncle
Jack's filly foundered herself, he said a
little inore of that green clover would a
bust her and ifit had, would'ut'iFaocen
nfflj busier?" '
"Go to bed, child, go tombed' ;
Raspberry Jam. Pass the- raspberries
through a fiee sieve to extract their seed";
add then'theireight iB'fine,whitc'!fugar,
and boil therestirrine thenr. ovqrsthjjflfiro
until you canHee the bottomftlttlatew
pan. ' ( ' "