- -itJ-U-t -- -.-.jtoi in mi ITI n , , .i.iiii nwiinwin mmmm i, I I II Ml Mumil m lA-iu Mm,L. xac LM.m.:uumwm l l. uu jj iiuul I juij , .I.,,.,-
SJcuotcb to politics, Citcvatuvc, Agriculture, Science, iltovality, anfc eneral 3fntclligjcucc.
VOL 15.
STROUDSBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA. APRILS, 1355
NO. 22.
Published by Theodore Schoch.
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erms,
AT THE OFFICE OF
THE JEFFERSOXIAX.
COURTING IN CONNECTICUT.
'Twas Sunday night in Podunk valley,
In clear cold wintry weather;
Josiah Perkins and his Sally , .
Sat by the fire together.
1Tvaa no new-fashioned iron case,
With fancy work adorning,
But a real old-fashioned tire-plucc,
On purpose made for warming, :
The crackling wood in fearful blaze
Around the room was throwing.
It's heat in bright and ruddy rays,
And on their faces glowing.
The apples by the chimney rug
'Were slowly getting warmer;
The cider in the pewter mug
Was bubbling in the corner.
A wooden settle firm and good
Their loving forms supporting;
'Twas made of seasoned white pine woodj
And just the thing for courting.
At one end Sally stuck like pitch,
While Josiah seemed to fear her;
But after a while he gave a hitch,
And got a little nearer.
Sal cast her eyes down looked quite tame,
Though very sweetly blushing:
While all the blood in Josh's frame
Seemed to his face a gushing,
He hitched again and got quite near
He could not then resist her;
He called her his own Sally dear,
Then bashfully he kissed her.
"Good gracious!" she gave a start from him,
Her anger did not smother
She said44 If you do that agin,
Now Josh Til tell my mother."
They soon made up, and she came back,
And calmed her agitation;
When last I saw them through the crack,
Thcv were kissing like tarnation!
Amusing.
of the Albany
Thc editor
Ilegiatcr,
having been disturbed by an assemblage
of cats under his window, thus gives vent
,: ;,wi;nn;nn i
. pie to change the Constitution when they pinch me, and kick me, but I stood it all
But those cats, in our opinion, are in Hke. a rcduccd tem in requiriDg citizen- for the sake of the Dimmycratic party.
danger, and we warn all who have any &c, . After they had rolled me over, striped me
interest in them cither present or expect- j These things arc not sought after as ith paint and the lash, and-tried my pa
ant to look to them. We have been con- ' mere shadows, nor arc they the dreams tainco completely, they stopped."
' , t . , with which visionaries amuse themselves, "Can you keep your tongue still ?" ask-
strained to watch for hours, when we ougut , , . . , . , . i :,in
, but which do no harm; they are Benously ( ed tne guide.
to have been asleep. A e have heard the jDCUicate(j principles, earnestly instilled, "Yes sir," said I boldly.
clock striko twelve, one, two, at intervals for the propagation of which there exists j "Will you know nothin' all your life?"
in their performances, and have been ' several chief and many minor societies to , "Yes sir," I said.
tempted to the use of terms not to be ,
u,uipu.u.
r 3 r -,l!,riiMic rrtrlr nr niiT of flip.
iouuu iu uuj ,
standard sermons of the day. We havo
dropped many brickbats among them, ;
. 3 ,..nA iimm t !. n n u-r
wasted more wood upon tucm man wc
are able to spare, have taken cold by ex-
posurc to the night air, become hoarse by ;
1 1 T-,
hollowing ""Scat." Wc have exausted
our loose pieces of brick, the smaller
sticks of our wood pile and our patience.
In view of all these facts we submit that
there is nothing left for us but to move ;
ourself, or move those cats, and we shall ly thirty years of age, and is still grow-
. ....!? OL - 1 1 if i 1 f
not move, n c have prepared a double- .
barreled gun, a full supply of powder and ,
u b , x i j i
percussion caps, and m our opinion some
body's cats will go home some moonlight '
night, complaining of feeling unwoll. If (
they do, wc must be held harmless.
J 7
'Now girls," said our friend Mrs. j
Partington to her nieces the other day,
"vou must Pet husbands as soon as pos-
eible, or they'll all be murdered !"
"Why so aunt?" inquired one.
'Why I sec by the papers that we've
got almost fifteen thoueand post offices,
and nearly all of them dispatch males ev
ery day let the Lord have mercy on us
, .
poor widows," and the old lady stepped
quiouiy to mu loosiog-giats 10 put on ncr
new cap.
Interestjng Domestic Discovery.
It was Napoleon or Madame dc Stael
frjbp said "if you scratched a Rus
sian -you would find a Tartar uudcrneatb."
Jones, of Marylebouc goes further than
ihis, for, he says that ho has only got to
scratch his wife, and he catches a Tartar
instantly. Punch.
From the N. Y. Journal of Commerce.
The Progress of Infidelity.
It is most earnestly to be denlored that
so few who are born in this land, and love
American traditions. are awaro ot the
rapid hatred of Christianity and its con
comitants which inspires the vast numbers
l .. : : i4.r
who are yearly increasing our population
from the continent of Europe. We do
not speak of the convicts and paupers
that arc smuggled into our ports from
Genoa, Hamburg, and Trieste; but of the
oo
tens of thousands of Germans who from
year to year come from provinces of Eu-
ropo completely panthcized, and with
whom freedom is considered synonymous
with the downfall of the kingdom of the
Redeemer. We called attention some
months ago to the fact that large numbers,
4 who have come of late years to this coun
j try, are disciples of the anarchist school
of Heine, according to whose creed,
j "there can be no true freedom until Chris
tianity is bloodily abolished," i. c. until a
persecution by Infidels of Christians is
j instituted, with ends similar to those of
Dioeletian or Snnor. Wn abownil tlmf. n-
lections had been made to turn upon the
' single point whether prayers should be
( offered to God in our Legislatures, wheth
er the Lord's day should be kept and re
' ligious oaths be maintained.
One of the most influential German pa
' pers in this city published simultaneously
' articles warning the better class of Ger-
mans, of whom there are so many in our
' city, against eneouraging theso excesses.
; Our remarks were republished in various
parts of the United States, and we trust
' ed that a good result might be produced.
Since then, however, another anniversary
has recurred of the birth-day of Thomas
Paine, and it has filled our hearts with
' shame to learn how the natal day of this
; great enemy of Christianity has been cel
ebrated. The German language consti-
tutes a barrier which prevents the most of
our people from imagining what takes
place behind the screen of that unknown
, tongue. The Teutonic dialect insures the
I existence of the Anti-Christian legions,
whose large numbers are rc-inforced con
' tinually from abroad, as a vast seorct eo-
ciety to which none can have access who
do not go through an arduous painstak
ing apprenticeship of study, which in the
; ond leaves them, when initiated, only a
; moDg the first class of novices. Yet its
. members are easily naturalized, become
! as speedily citizens of these States, ear-
rying Atheism to the polls, and receiving
the homage of demagogue politicians to
! obtain a few miser able suffrages.
A few of the "reforms" demanded by
the "Freimaenner" so they call them
selyes who havo set up Thomas Paine
as their apostle, and who strive to gain
strength to revolutionize free govern
i nient by the establishment of the tyranny
of anarchy, are: abolition of the laws for
the observance of the Sabbath; abolition
of oaths in Congress; abolition of oaths
upon the Bible; no more prayer in our
Legislatures: abolition of the
Christian
SyStems 0f punishment; abolition of the
Presidency, of all Senates, of all lawsuits
involving exnense; the right of the peo-
J aunureuBoi moubanu oi loregners
nflTiHatPrl vehn nrn in fonefnnf. rnm.
amiiateu, wno arc
in constant corn-
mun,Cation
with each
other and act in
concert, and who are beginning to be felt
in every corner of the land, but particu-
lady in the West, where their efforts are
j .
J ofJforcipn in?roducSl bv them. :
A Tall Nurse.
The Maine giantces, Silva Hard', is a
! native of Willton, in Franklin
county,
Me., is seven feet six inches in height
-ic rnf nor non fhnn tlnciTT t nf rrsifl
three hundred and thirty pounds is near
inS
She has heretofore maintained hcr-
il 4" FJ 01
a nurse, having the reputation of being a
mQ&t cxceilcut ouc. but for a few montbs
past, her health has not been good enough
for her to practice in this vocation,
,Wo assured that she nover,as nurse,
takes an mtant m her arms, but always
1 holds it in her hand. Placing the head up-
on the end of her fingers, its feet extend
towards her wrist, and with the thumb
and mtlc fiuger elevated, she forms an
j of her band being quite equal to the whole
I length of an infant.
She is unable to pass ordinary doors
without stooping a good deal and it is
said for convenience she usually puts her
thimble and other littles upon the casing
over the door, instead of upon any lower
object, as table or desk
An amusing incident is told or her,
which runs in this wise, and which is said
to be strictly true. While sho was pass
ing through tho kitchen of a farm house
.one day with a large pan of milk in each
hand, her hair caught upon a hook which
projected two or three iuches from the
ceiling, and held her fast. She could
neither stoop to set the pans down, nor
raise her hands to disingago her hair, and
was compelled thus to remain until her '
cnos brought others to her assistance.
Eastern Portland) Argils.
Know-Nothings Exposed.
The following is Mr. Cauliflower Smith's
experience in lookinr ud "thcin Know -
Nothings." Smith's purpose was to ex -
pose, explode, annihilate the Urder.
Head what he says about it :
! My first idea was to find a Know-Noth
' T T u .1 4i "
ing. I know'd I could do nothing till
. found one. that was sartin. Well. I cay-
j orted around considerable, as cute as
, possum, as ounnin' as a fox
' good many privately if they did
and, of course, l
lied considerable in gittin'
around them.
Well, all I got out of 'em
was "I don't k?wwt" so
. . " W
I had to change
my tack. I goes to one of 'em who did'nfc,
.
him that I know'd I was an old sinner.
but I wished to repent in sackcloth and
asues, anu n ye a only get me into tne
Know-Nothings, I'd show, by zeal in the
cause, the sincerity of my repenteuce.
He looked afc me riaht. strnifrU. fnr snm
Know notinn' and I tell'd him that I was -Llt)er nine and tnone, now flow treely(to get a cloalc wuicli tie bad purchased. , revolutionary pensioner in Shandaken-,
gittin tired of the old dimmycratic wayjevery winter; ice is unknown in Rome, Ho was observed to enter some premises 1 namod Barthcltny, now in his 99th year,
of doin things, and I intended to with- tand tue waves of the Euxine dash their near but returned almost immediately, 1 yet hale and vigorous, cultivating the lit
draw now from popular life, and devote mtry foam uncrystalized upon the rocks, j and in a hurried manner inquired if the tie spot around his humble tenement with
my deolining years to my country. I told i Somc have ascribed these climate changes countryman had five dollars about him 1 his own hands and drawing his own fire-
. time, and then he seemed to think I was,aSricultare an(1 wc aro certain that noj
sincere. He ax'd me it 1 wanted to jme
right off, and I told him yes. Then he
ax'd me to meet him by the Hospital at
10 o'clock that night, and he would take
me to see the elephant.
"You seo how long-headed I am Mr.
Chairman; I know'd I could come it over
'em if I only parsevered, and did'ut I do
it? He met me at 10 o'clock, and he
took and blindfolded me, for he said wo
hadn't fur to go. He told me I must not
only know nothin' but I must say nothin',
until the hull thing was through. We
walked on a pretty smart distance, 1
reckon nigh on to a mile, when he give
me a devil of a pinch on ray arm, and ho
sez, 'Now look out.' I felt kind o' queer,
I tell you, for I was goin' it blind alto
gether, but my prospect for Recorder was
at stake, and you may reckon it sort o1
served me up.
''He took me down stairs, and then
through a celler then through a long pas
sage way. Right thar in that passage
way he told me to give him all my mon
ey. I obeyed him of course, though I
didn't like to part with it. Wc walked
along the passage till we como to a door
when he gave me the signal. It was two
raps. The door opened, and thar were
some fellows whispering. Directly a voice
said ' bring in the repentin' sinner,'
and I was led forward. I heerd 'em talk
in' all around me, and sometimes they
would pinch me. They stripped me stark
naked, leavin' nary astich on mo but my
stockings. 'Do you repent old sinner V
said one to me. 'Yes,' said I gittin' down
on my knees. Whack ! cum a lash right
acrost my bare hide, raakin' mc squirm.
'Get up,' said the feller that had been
talkin' to me, 'that's no position for an
American citizen.' Then he gave me two
more whacks with the lash, and put a
heavier blindfold around my eyes.
" Then the Know-Nothings all com
menced singing the Star Spangled Banner;
while the guides led mc around the lodge
room. Some would tickle me. and some
. -6- .u. ,,
tinued Smith ."and T saw that T Was
"Where ?" inquired all
"In Deacon Johnson's stable on Canal
street."
A Good Old Age.
There is living in Plymouth Township
an aged lady named Peggy Lerch, and
known generally as Peggy Lark. She is
of German extraction, born in New Jer
sey, in the German Valley, on the 15th
February 1751, and is now in her 105th
year. She moved to Wyoming fifty-six
years ago with her husband who has been
dead fifty years. She is dear minded,
and of memory, and loves to talk of old
times.
On her 103d birth-day she walked over
to Capt. Wallers to dine as she had done
for several years, a distance of more than
half a mile. This year she was unable to
do so, having fallen and hurt her side.
Her sleep is good except at times dis
turbed by a cough which troubles her.
She remembers seeing General Wash
ington, and has a clear recollection of c
vents of tho Revolution.
Her father, Michael Pace, died many
years ago at Northmoreland, now in Wy-
oming Co, at the advanced age of 103 the Englishman to sit on the other side of
years. He paid her a visit before he died, 1 the barrel, and remarked that "there was
and told her she might live to his age. an equal chance for both," set fire to the
She said sho hoped not, "And now," she 'match. The officer retreated in a hurry,
sayg, "I am a year older." j when Old Put laughed at him, saying
A brother recently died in Northmore- ."You arc ju&t as brave a man as I took
land, aged nearly ninety." y0u to be; this is nothing but a barrel of
We visited the aged lady, and found onions to try you by; but you don't like
her sitting by a comfortable stove with a the smell."
book on her lap. She reads small print (
without spectacles, but thinks old age( yQ once heard of a young lady who
is hard, and has but few pleasures. was requested by a bachelor somewhat
Mrs. Murphy with whom she lives is a
niece and the old lady spoko of her as
very kind, and the niece said the aunt was
'always pleasant and contented and no
: trouble. HVXriWyr Times.
Changes of Climate.
Tbefollowing, from the Scientific Atncr
;zc";' contains some interesting faet3, and
, treats of a very celling subject, worthy of
uaieiui investigation :
History informs us that many of the;
countries of Europe which now possesses.
I.vcrJ U1"d winters, at one time experienced
severo co'u during this season of the year
a!Tue Tiber, at Home, was often frozen o-
I ax'd alver antl snow at one time lay for forty purchase them, if the owner would deliv-
idn't belong, daJ3 in that city. The Euxine Sea wasjer them at a grocery store, which he a-
frozen over every winter during the time
01 '-'via, ana the rivers lluine and Kuonc.had driven about a couple of blocks.whcn
I III r "
i uscd to be froznn so deep that the ice sua-.the
tamcu loaded wagons. The waters of the
I M l. - 1 II J-
10 agriculture : tue cutting uown oi aenee
forests, the exposure of the upturned soil
to the summer's sun, and the draining of
great marshes. We do not believe that
such Sreat changes could have been pro-
duccd on the climate of any country by'
as could have been rro-
such theory can account for the contrary
cuange or cnmate irom warm to com ( the hand of the unsuspecting potato mcr
winters which history tells us has taken! chant, and entered the side3 entrance of
place in other countries than those named, the house he had previously been in.
Greenland received its valleys and moun- After waiting upwards of five minutes,
tains ; and its east coast, which is now in- the countryman proceeded to make in
accessible, on account of perpetual ice quires, and discovered that hi3 quondam
heaped upon its shores, was in the elev- J acquaintance had passed though the yard
enth century, the seat of flourishing Scan- into the back alley in the rear. The ame
dinayian colonies all trace of which is WM then evident, and the victim drove
now lost Cold Labrador was named 1 in- back to market a'sa(J bufwiser mi
nnV orthmC,D' Wh01 V1?; e?f ! A' 'nus a handful of small change.
D. 1000, and were charmed with its then j Short,y aftenvardSj a 8imgar trick was
mud climate. played upon an unsuspecting indiuidual
The cause of these changes is an im- who WM standing with a load of hay.
portant inquiry A pamphlet, by John, A man an3werirgtue description of the
Marry, civil engineer, has recently beenbofore.Mncd sha?per purchased the load
published in London, in which he endeay- of h and droyc Elm
ors to attribute these changes of climate street
to the changeable position of the magnet- niu ttmm j in
10 poles. I he magnetic variation or de- tQ tbig ouge and faefc ft t'funk of
clination of the needle is well known. ei. jj
At the present time it amounts in London
to 23 degrees west north, while in 1G58
the line of variation passed through Eng
land, and then moved gradually west un
til 1816. In that year a great removal
of ice took place on the coast of Greenland;
hence it is inferred, that the cold meri
dian, which now passes through Canada
and Siberia, may atone time have passed
through Itally, and that of the magnetic
meridian returns, as it is now doing, to
its old lines in Europe. Rome may once
more see her Tiber frozen over, and the
merry llhinelander drive his team on the
ice of tho classic river. Whether the
changes of climate mentioned have been
caused by the change of the magnetic
meridian or not, we have too few facts be
fore us at present to decide conclusively;
but the idea, once spread abroad, will
soon lead to such investigations as will no
doubt remove every obscurity, and settle
the question.
iAmusing Duels.
A work on "Duels and Duelling" has
recently been published in Boston, which
contains far more amusement than one
would expect to find in such a volume.
The case of Major Hillaa and Fen ton, in
Ireland, iu which the former gentleman
was shot, is an illustration. The Judge
in summing up the evidence, said to the
jury: "Gentlemen, it is my business to lay
down the law to you, and 1 will. The
law says the killing a man in a duel is
murder, and I am bound to tell you it is
murder; therefore in the discharge of my
duty I tell you so; but I tell you at the
same time a fairer duel than this I never
heard of in the whole course of my life !"
Two physicians, by the name of Mead
and Woodward, fought in England, and
the latter slipping, his opponent exclaim
ed "Take your life." To which the
prostrate Galen replied, " Anything but
your physic."
" Old Put," one of the heroes of tho
revolution, was very odd also in his ideas
of tho code. lie agreed to meet a Brit
ish officer at a specified place and hour,
without seconds. When the Briton re
paired to the spot he was greeted by a
shot from "Old Put" lying in perdu a
bout thirty rods off. Whilo "Put" was
reloading, the officer approached and
asked. "What arc you about? Is this
the conduct of an American officer and
man of honor?" "What am I about to dol"
replied the general. "A pretty question
to put to a man you intend to murder!
I'm about to kill you; and if you don't
beat a retreat in less time than it takes
old Health to hang a tory, you are a gone
dog." Tho officer fled.
The old wolf hunter accepted another
challenge from a British officer. At the
appointed time and spot the officer found
him seated near a barrel apparently of
gunpowder smoking a pipe
lie asked
advanced in years, to take a seat upon
his knee, while in a crowded sleigh,
"No, thank you," said she, " I am
afraid such an old seat would break down
with mc." " J
A new kind of Roguery.
A trick was perpetrated upon
two
, honest countrymen last Monday, which
proves that there is something new at
teasi in roguery under tuc sun.
As James Mahoney was standing in
market, with about half a cart-Joad of
potatoes, he was accosted by a respecta-.
' ble-looking man, who, after a little-cbaf- '
feriug about the price, finally agreed to
verred be was the proprietor of. They
I. a . - " - -
countryman was asked to stop
while
his companion went to a house hard by
J T
, which he'd let him have until thev arrived
' at the store. j
j I bavu't got so much," said the coun-
trymau, drawing out what change he had, I
' n.l.TnK o mmmJ t x.iir. i.- l d,.n
which amounted to between two and three
dollars.
Well," said the purchaser, "let me
have that," and he forthwith took it from
Shortly returning, he asked the vender
of hay if he had five dollars about him;
"I want to pay it to the woman of the
house," said he, "and I'll give you a gold
piece when we get to the store."
The hay man thought it a good chance
to get one of Benton's mint-drops for a
rag, and willingly handed him a five dol
lar Indiana bill.
"Hold on," said the stranger, "perhaps
I'll have to get you to help me out with
the trunk."
The man did hold on, and might have
been holding on till doomsday, for the ac
complished sharper had vanished through
the back entry.
Both parties entered complaints at the
stafion-house, but no clue could be form
ed which might lead to the detection of
this ingenious victinuzer of hay and po
tatoes. Cincinnati JLnquircr.
Ponce De Leon's "Fountain of Youth."
One of the most remarkable natural
curiosities of Florida, is Wakulla spring,
a miniature lake in the vicinity of Talla
hassee, which is constantly fed with pure
cold water from the unknown depths of a
marine river :
" Taking a narrow path, we passed
through some dense underwood; and sud
denly we were standing on the edge of a
basin of water, about one hundred yards
in diameter. It is almost circular. The
thick bushes were growing to the water's
edge, and bowing their heads beneath its
surface. Wc stepped into a skiff, and
pushed off from the shore. Some immense
fishes attracted my attention, and I seized
a spear to strike them. The boatman
laughed, and asked how far I supposed
they were beneath the surface. I answer
ed, 'About four feet.' He assured mc
that they were at least twenty feet from
me, and it was so. The water is of the
most marvellous transparcuoy. I drop
ped an ordinary pin in water forty feet ;
deep, and saw its head with perfect dis
tinctness as it lay on the bottom. As we
approached the centre, I noticed a jagged,
grayish, limestone cliff, beneath us. It
was pierced with holes ; through these o
penings we seemed to look into unfath
omable depths. The boat moved slowly
on.
Wc hung trembling over the edge of !
the sunken precipice, and far below it lay
a dark, yawning, unfathomed abyss.
From its gorge came pouring forth with
immense velocity a living river.
"Flood upon flood hurries on, never ending,
And never will rest; nor from travail be free.
Like a sea that is laboring the birth of a sea."
"Our little boat floated ou anelcment
as transparent as the air above, seemed
hovering midway between two worlds.
"Pushing on just beyond this mouth, I
dropped a ten cent piece into the water
which is there one hundred and ninety
feet in depth, and saw it clearly shining
on the bottom. This seems indeed incred
ible. The water must possess a magnify
ing power, for if such a piece were lying
at the foot of a tower 030 hundred and
ninety feet in height, it could not bo soen
eo plainly from the summit. We moved
on toward the south side, and suddenly
perceived the water,the fishes, which were
darting hither and thither, the long flcxi-
ble roots, and the wide-bladed, luxuriant
grasses upon the bottom, all arrayed i in j
tho most Ibrilliant prismatic hues. The (
gentlo swell occasioned by tho motion of
our skiff, gave to tho whole an undulating
motion,
around
Death like stillness reigned a-
All seemed magical and unreal
The boyish dreams, which I used to have
after reading the Arabian nights' Enter
tainment, were actualized. A more fairy
like scene I can scarco conceive.
" J be Indian- name for this
is beautifully significant. VWakulla mean
'the Mystery,' It is said that fho
Spanish discoverers of this fountain nlunf-
ed into it withjalmost frantic iov. The
supposed that they had found the long:
sought 'Fons. Juventutis,' or Fountain of
Youth, which should rei'uvenate them af
ter exhaustless marches and battles,."
Providence Journal,.
An Election Fact. There is a veteran
wood from fho fnrpsf;. IWfhplmv is a
Democrat, and prides himself in never
being absent from the poll. His wife,
whols the iunior a trifle over half a cen-
i itm. j t c .
lury, is u uigr auu uaa oneu ineu iu
detain him on election days but the rcso-
lutions of old 99 were generally, as tri
umphant as the famou3 Virginia one of
'93. For the operations of this year the
cunning woman had conceived a famous
idea. The election came on the 6tb, she
well knew, and what does she do but pre
sent the old ventern with a bouncing young
son on the 4th I Kurse3 are scarco in
Shandakcn, patriotism and paternity bad
a sharp struggle, but in the end Democ
racy was floored, for Batbelmy staid home
to rock the cradle. Roundout Courier.
A Man Bnrned Alive.
It is our painful duty, this week, to re
cord one of the most sad and fatal casu
alities which has happened in our vicicety
for sometime past.
A stage driver of one of the line of sta
ges between Tidioute and Franklin, as-we
are informed, was taken with the small
pox a few days since, and was conveyed
to a shanty about a half mile this side of
Tidioute, where he was left to the tender
mercies of a man who was hired to take
charge of him for the consideration of a
pint of "whiskey !" This man, for some
reason or other, absented himself from
the shanty, for about half an honr, and
when ho returned, found it almost wholly
consumed by fire, and all that was left of
the poor stage driver, were his scortched
and crumbling bones. How the fire orig
inated is unknown ; but disease had sto
len away so much of the poor man's
strength, that he was unable to drag him
self from the building, and consequntly
fell a victim to tho raging element. War
ren (Pa.) Ledger.
The newspaper is a law book for tho
indolent, a sermon for the thoughtful, a
library for the poor. It may Btimulste
the indifferent, it may also instruct the
most profound.
BSsT'Men scorn to kiss among themselves,
And scarce will kiss a brother:
Women oft want a kiss so bad,
They smack and kiss each other!
JG-'Thc Holly Hock has faded, Polly;
The sun-flower's lost its hue,
Yet sure as I live, by golly,
I see no change in vou.
CSfThe true picture of despair is a
pig reaching through a hole in the fenco
to get at a cabbage lying only a few in
ches beyond his nose.
JCSTA Western editor, in speaking of a
concert singer, says her voice is delicious
pure as moonlight, and as tender as a
three shilling shirt.
JXIF'Thcrc is a man in this vicinity said
to bo so opposed to Catholicism, tnat ho
won't travel on cross roads.
jgST'A street preacher has appeared in
St. Louis, proclaiming that he is Joo
Smith, the prophet, raised from the dead.
Loving Husbands. A St. Louis cd-
itor, complains that the married men sit
in church with their arms wound loving
ly around their wives, a practice that con
fuses tho bachelors and takes their minds
from the contemplation of serious things.
IQ3 A western editor thus delivers
himself : Wc would say to the individ
ual who stole our shirt off the pole, whilo
wc were lying in bed waiting for it to dry,
that we sincerely hope the collar may cut.
hid throat.
JjjSomc malicious parsons assert
that tho letters M. D. which are placed
after physicians names signify Money;
Down. Our imp, Mont, says theymeau,
Man Destroyer.
A young man on being requested'
to dance the Scotch reel with a couple of
sour looking old maids, objected on toft
nd that pickles did'nt agree with him.
0 '
Why is a married man like a can
dle? Because ho Boruetimcs goes out a
night when he oughtcat tov
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