- ' . i ii i i ii i i rrr irn r i m m n n nrnnini iipb mum mi immbu
' ,ir, .lia i , J.UII JlBILlliUegmfaW1- !tJ.'i. u. J mi iu.Jw. i i j j l 1 i1 iL jw. i 1 1 ' mj..,, nj,.. .mo, ui ii X3ii-JL!ULi- J I I II I IJHB-li.km.LI AM 111 limilllHII fcgg.milLIJLJLailJLtt 1
- . - 1
SJcuotci to politics, jCitcmturc, Agriculture, Science, illoralitn, nnb cncral Sntclligcnrc.
VOL 15.
STROUDSBURG, -MONROE COUNTY, PA. APRIL SI
1355.
NO. 21.
Published by Theodore Schoeh.
TERMS Two dollars per annum in advance Tuo
iollars and a juartcr, half yearly and if not paid be
lore the end of the year. Two dollars and a half.
No papers discontinued until all arrearages arc paid,
except at the option of the Editor.
IC Advertisements not exceeding one square (ten
lines) will be inserted three weeks tor one dollar, and
twenty-five cents for every subsequent insertion. The
charge for one and three insertions the same. A liber
al discount made to yearly advertisers.
IE7 All letters addressed to the Editor must be postpaid.
JOB PRINTING.
-Having a general assortment of large, elegant, plain
and ornamental Type, wc are prepared
to cxccuteevcry dcsciiptionof
Cards, Circulars, Bill Heads, Notes. Blank Receipts
Justices, Legal and other Blanks. Pamphlets, Ac.
printed with neatness and despatch, on reasonable
crins,
AT THE OFFICE OF
THE JEFFE2RSONEAN.
MAKE YOUR MASK
Iq the quarries do you toil,
Do you delve upon the soil ?
Malic your mark.
In whatever path you go,
Tn what place you stand,
Moving swift or moving slow,
With a Orm and honest hand,
Make your mark.
Should opponents hedge your waj,
"Work by night or work by day,
Make your mark.
Struggling manfully and well,
Let no obstacle oppose ;
None right shielded ever fell
13y the weapons of his foes
Muke your mark.
"What though born a peasant's son
Good by poor man can be done
Make your mark.
Peasant's garb may warm the cold;
Peasant's heart may calm a fear;
Better far than hoarding gold,
Is the drying of a tear
Make your mark.
Life's as fleeting as a shade,
Marks of some kind must be made,
Make your mark
Make it while the arm is strong,
In the golden hours of youth ;
Never, never make it wrong;
Make it with the stamp of truth
Make your mark.
-fr T
A good story is told of a justice of the
peace, not many miles distant from the
county of Essex.
Several young men were brought be
fore him for trial, on the charge of being
engaged in a riot. The evidence was,
however, insufficient to convict them, and
the judge addressed them somewhat as
follows:
"Young men! I find that the evidence
is not strong enough against you to prove
a riot; but you have Icon so cam'd pro
lane, I shall fine you for that!"
An old Dutchman who had recently
joiued the temperance society, was taken
.Vick, and sent to the doctor to prescribe
.for him, who ordered him to take an ounce
of brandy per day.
The old chap overhauled his arithme
tic, and found in the tabic of apotheca
ries' weight that eiuht drachms make one
ounce.
" Mine
!" said the Dutchman,
"datis de temperance for me.. I didn't
get but six drams before, and now I gets
eight."
Auout Babies. Just hear what the
Buffalo Republican sa'S about babies :
"To keep children from crying, as soon
as the squallcr awakes, set the child up,
jiropped up by pillows, if it cannot sit a
lone, and besmear its fingers with thick
molasses. Then put half a dozen feath
ers into his hands, and the young one
will sit and pick the feathers from one
hand to the other, until it drops to sleep.
As soon as it awakes more molasses and
more feathers, and in place of never-astounding
yells, there will be a silence
and enjoyment unspeakable."
Jones stepping up to a gentleman who
was engaged in conversation with about
a dozen others, said
"It seems to me 1 have seen your phys
ognomy somewhere before, but I cannot
imagine where."
"Very likch'," he replied; "I have been
thc keeper of a prison for upwards of
twenty year?."'
A Knotty Point Settled. A cav
iller in our vicinity, the other day, says
thc Lowell Courier, tried to put down his
opponent with this question: 'If Noah
id send out a dove that never returned,
Jhcrc dm It M 'WJy retorted thc
unyielding anlagosft gurP0SC omc
body shot it.'
-
i J&ST There arc about seven nUliiOS
pores in thc body of a man of ordinary
size. If these were joined lengthwise, a
tube would be fornicd twenty-eight miles
long !
Time, well employed, gives that
health' and vigor to the soul which health j
and retirement afford the body.
The strongest kind of a hint! A young
lady asking a gentleman to see if one of
ber rings would go on his little finger.
THE WIPE.
There's many a shaft at random sent,
Kinds mark the archer never meant ;
There's many a word at random spoken,
May sooth or wotiud a heart that's broken,1
1 '
M. - , . i i
any is the jest the young man sub-
.met to who does a "wooing go , and-some-
times even does he speak lightly of the
nviting process of the heart which is to
make him whole ; but it is better to tn-
ne witu tuc iigntmng, or a magazine oi
powder, than to woo a termagant or
w
i : !.
r . .., - ., '
ouce for all, to go with us in the journey
of life to take to the heart a fair one
.. '
and find we have wed
charmer that
sought us as a pray
IS to be rCffarUCa as
the direst calamity that can
befall
"ft
hu-
man being.
Human nature is like a landscape, pleas -
c ...... .
ant to look upon only in a certain light ;
1 x-r 1 1 . -xi , . 1
beautiful but with an ugly unpainted
back that is sometimes turned to view.
1 he world is not all made up ot love,
and marncu 1110 is nice a picture tair ana
and happiness; neither is married lite all
, ir ' , . , ,. . , .
a honeymoon, and it is better to be true
to nature, like painting a picture, than to .
depart too much from it for the sake ot
effect.
'Iho wife in thc truest sense is but a,
. . . . ;
iart os man. Each separate, is but a
fragment of existence between which there
tucicj
ted, they
is a strong affinity, and when uni
form a whole. In chemistry we often see
thc combination of ultimate elements for
mm 2
a bony ot great streugtn ; due let-
adverse mhueuccs be brought to bear, and
up from the union of individual particles; j
but strike a blow aUta heart and it with-'
crs, and the winds strip it up, and it tot-'
tevs and falls, to moulder again into earth.
So too, if. when the ultimate elements ot
human existence have been once united
the affinity between them becomes weak
ened, and tliey repel each other, and sep
arate ; then like the tree, they may en
dure for ajwhile thc blast,but sooner or
later, the heart w 11 die out, hope will
find nutriment and vanish; and desolation
will cease to mark the spot where they
once xisted.
How tew ot those who arc uni
wedlock ever cmov the lull measure
bapincss that is meted out for their ac -
ceptauce. The affections spring up in good
l-vl 4-1. a r n rkf nrAnnH tr nnlf 1 t'lfnM
soil but they .are not properly cultivated
where the soil is deepest, tares grow most
speedily. The young wife is a tender
plant, and needs the fostering care of ev
ery day devotion. This is at her com
mand. No one is more sure of their re
ward, than the truly affectionate wife.
Thc husband cannot always be the lover
by profession he may at heart but he
has something else to do. LTow many a
young wife mistakes this for. indifference,
and thus opens her heart to the decoying
words of thc artful tongue, and finally
meditates thoughtless of the consequen
ces that if, perhaps, she had chosen dif
ferently, it would have been better. When
one such thought as this entered the
heart, love, hope and happiness flee, and
distrust, indifferencc,or jealousy take their
places ; the genial glow of affection's
flame, is quenched, and thc fireside grows
cold and cheerless. It is hard to re-kindle
tho fire that has once gone out upon
the hearthstone of affection the flame
that is fed only by fuel from loving hearts
when these have grown cold and for
bidding. Better, indeed, would it have
been that they had never met. Wrho doces
not say that thc "preventive is easier
than the euro ?" But who shall point it
out ? It is the work alone of the heart ;
and the two hearts concerned must work
out, unaided, the problem of happiness or
sown with a light heart, but the harvest! hearted girl informed him that her fath
must be reaped in bitter tears. jer was tho committee-man, and also in-
Show me the wife that is blind to her I formed him what questions would be put
mizerv.
husband's faults and I will show you a
happy woman ; and a mau who has lessjhe expected to gain the good graces of
to answer for, than were even
the truth
believed.
If Ruth could say to her husband's
mother : "Wither thou goest I will go :
and where thou lodrrcst I will lodge thv
people shall be my people, and thy God j board in his family. Whereupon the old
my God; where thou diest, will I die, and fellow assumed an air of much conse
there will I be buried ; the Lord do so to'qucnce, and asked thc same questions that
to me, and more also, if aught but death Sally had informed her lover that would
part thee and me;" how much more should ! be asked :
the young wife cleave unto her husband, 'Do you believe in the final salvation of
anu auiao uy u lonuuu. outu uuuui . -, n8ercd tho vonoff
be the declaration upon the altar where! 'Most ccrta.nl, answered thc young j
the twain are made of one flesh. In love, .man. .. .
hone, hanniuess and sorrow, alike, thevi
should be as one heart, and-pnde and
. .
ambition should never enter the mind, on
ly in, and for each other.
And now, dear reader, I have laid be
fore you for thc most part, the unpainted
side of the picture, but let it not thus bo j
presented in his own dwelling, but keep
before you always that which is beautiful
Vinrsi nil fViittrro lj o ri 1-mlntr. Tfnutt Tmiv
nal.
In Itally you will sec a man breaking
up his land with two cows, and the root
of a tree for a plough, while he is dressed
in skin with the nair on. in xiomc, vi-
uuu " I . ,
nnri Uresdcn. 11 you uirc a man 10
saw
TTn nfvfi
He mils nnfi
end of the saw on the ground
and the other on his breast, and taking the
wood in his hand, rubs it against tho saw.
It is a solemn fact, that in Florence, a
city filled with tho triumph of art, there
is not a single auger, ana 11 a carpeu -
tcr would bore a hole he,ydocs it with a
red hot poker.
'41 hedocsi od ohahorsoXg Jlai", f Ctt county. I,..,,: J ,,f r. mo secluded ,ild
" ! Sf M,fXrb0forohim 1Ic was oncc d,D"2 "V1.0 American . ., from any other human
?".! B?m- .B 'Lbit'ation. A tfipcobiuA rose above
"No Little Girls Sow.
TTprn U n nlmrniino- littln enrmon. bv a
lady correspondent :
'Wlmt lms Wnmn nfnll tlifi Utile aids
o rr it np it.;.
uunu"uaio: uui otto uiuui vi
J bisque waists and
J fl l watch
nJdi tho streets or attending ju -
partics; but aas a Htlle girf is a
J ,b bou
, r. ,.r. . t -i.
" I Till I I V" I 7 1 li.lHllfi III ! liW 11(111 i
lntr uavs anu nisuts succcca eacu otner
1 1 lit
; with astonishing rapidity, a ntteen mm
utes recess, affording plenty or time tor
. , c , J,. , nm
I weeks of play-house-life; and to whom a
neat nlnin nrincrliam dress and sun-bonnet
. , . ,
, ,L . ... , . . . . , x,
bnnnf'fs thnt will nnf br ?ninrfrl if t.liOV
i arc wet in river or brook, and aprons
It lUUY ,
sfrnnrr nnniinrli
h to brine home any quanti-
, - 0 . - f
V , , ffl ff
kcts; good strong shoes that will come off
c rioTT TOiion
m . ,
with ease on a warm summer s aay, wnen
, fc cool brook tempts tbe warm feet to
, tbemselves in wate instead of
, ., , . . , . , ,
, , '
rude treatment,
j Well! .fc ig fa d thc facc of Httlc
... Wnmfl WrW fivt:nftk. rnLrft
be goiue waati;g tbeir sweetness
1,1
11 1 11 1 i 1 1 ill. 1 1 . 1 (
. ' , , . , ','
a 1 l'ji nuiui y iuuv uiuuiu .
not
villages.
Afc.an wben Jittle ls uscd t0 be!gree upon a greater numoer 01 aiumini,
d d u see tbum decbed)by thirty, than all his predecessors taken
nil fh; finnr,r nrx.iin cf rnof :
Where
- fln ,rnpa nc tu00 nro:
flirts? AvQ th wim fcQ albw guch
Jhm drcga-irby little Miss
. , aa ,.;ki
. , ihfi wnnr ; w silft TC;n hn a.!and a chapel have been built.
IlJUOt UUI) UC UO J IwUI j 1UUUI
lblc'to outvie ber present spicndor when i and lot, for tho use of a Professor, and
COmes out." Dut in this go ahead seven acres of land for recreation grounds
1 " ' aTtt- rii nnow w'and wash house have been purchased.
ajiU. iJUUlU llliH lUX-miuu talk uuuiu , -
to accomplish her desire." 1 he Recitation and Lecture Rooms, have
-As theie are no little girls, so there enlarged and seated, and a Portrait
will bo no young ladies; for when Miss Gallery has been commenced I he Lorn
leaves the school she is engaged, S00n ardy poplars, which formerly disfigured
marries and takes her place in the ranks the public grounds of the College, have
of American matrons. How will she fill j been removed, and their places supplied
! 1.1. X . Juv.... t I. a a1 m ll, a nnl. ill A
her place: for. how and when has she
t , . found time to prepare for life's duties?
ted inf Wonder if it would not be a good plan to!
ure ot;x i? 1 : :u.
ifnrn nr.r o nw Innf Win wlfl, MiAm in
jse and see if ifcis' notpossible to have ' been Sreatly improved and enlarged, and
, a darlinfT little creatures, full of funthc cntire front of the College grounds
i C . . . I lino rnnrerA V tt ciilicf on fill 1 r'rvn
and glee, who can run and jump without
fear of tearing flounces, and finally have
a set of healthy young ladies, upon whom
tho sun has been allowed to shine, and
active exercise in the open air bestowed
an abundant supply of life and energy.
Unite a healthful body to thc highly
cultivated minds of our American wives
and mothers, and they would be the ad
miration of the world, instead of being
pitied for their fragility." Home Journ
al. The "Will and the "Way.
A young collegian, itinerating in the
State of Vermont, fell in company and
also in love with a very pretty girl, thc
daughter of an old curmudgeon, whose
brains were made of saw-dust, hog's lard
and molasses, but who, upon account of
the spaciousness of his farm, had been
for many years at the head of the school
committee in the district. The collegi
an's attachment to Sally, (for that was
the old fellow's daughter,) was so over
powering, that all the logic and philoso
phy he had learned in the school was,
compared to his force of argument, as
chaff in a hurricane. But not having the
wherewithal to winter in thc country with
out resort to employment, he intimated to
Sally that he should like to keep the
school in the district; when the kind
to him, and how he must answor them if
her father,
Accordingly, on Sunday evening the
young man of classical lore informed tho
old ignoramus that he would like to take
1 charge of their school for the winter, and
- 1 . . 1 ,T SI 1 I
'Do you
believe mat uou ever niaue;"
t , 1. rm x r u
another man equal 10 j-iiomab deiicrbom
'Mnrtfiimv Tint '
'Can you spell Massachusetts?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Well, spell it.'
Thc young man spelt the word very
distinctly, when the father turned to his
'Did he sncll it'
daughter, autt saiu
T frill. Rnllv?'
MM,n ,rrtl, mnn nnmrnfiirtPfl lis sf inn .
the next da?. II ow he and Sally made
J " I
0utis another story.
xQ
Choice. Tho
wicc. 1 ho w voraing
ITf
U?UIlly
N y Mrro
ror tells a story of judge Ghani-
'jw n ' f nf ih
tirt-Av lift wmilH
t iQ rcplicd tho biggest, by thun-
d(jr ,',
.
, xiou oouftui j x u-ua.tj, vvftn,
when dried and lit by thc tail, burn like'
a candle !
College of New Jersey.
Wc take the following interesting let-
to this distinguished literary institution.
It is written bv a Graduate.
cj
The appearance of the last triennial
'catalogue of this institution, may remind
'its friends, that an epoch in its history
, has been attained. I refer to the tenm-
I nation of the Presidency of Dr. Carnahan,
'whifih had ntoii fnr the. nrnrieriino- ai
- - i - a
years. As we live in a progressive age,
it may be well to inquire, what has been
tho progress of that college during that
Presidency.
In 1823 when Dr. Carnahan came in-
to office, tho Facultv consisted of a J
Pres-
idnnr. nnrl ViVr. lPRirlnnf. n Prnfoss
or of
1 . ' "
Mathematics, and two Tutors, (total I
5.")
Vuen he ret-rd 185 tho faculty w
aa
composed of a President, Vice President,
( ro
.luodcrn
six IWessors, three Tutors, a Teachor of
1 -.
! Oology, (totalis.) In
logue for the year 1823,
tnames of 125 students
Modern Lancuaccs. and a Lecturer on
the anual cata
thcro were the
In that of 1854,
the names of 254 students.
The whole number of graduates to the
nresent time, (107 Years) is 3,390. Num-
bcr of graduates before 1823 (16 years)
11680. From 1823 to 1854, inclusive.
''31 vears1, 1710.
7 - '
oi years inu, 00 uat iT. oaruauau
as President has conferred the first de-
1 n '
nr I' HAfi lint
tocetner. do mucn ror tne recora.
Aside from this numerical increase, it
may be stated, that during the same term
of 31 years, the East and West Colleges,
a Professor's House, a Refectory, two
large and Commodious buildings for the
accommodation of the Literary societies,
A houso
Wltu uawve -iuts iiu, tue uau, iuu
maple, and tho tulip poplar. The Libra-
7 ha.s received annual additions. I he
chemical and Dhilosonhical anDaratus has
cnemicai ana punosopuicai apparatus uas
has been enclosed by a substantial iron
fence.
All these erections, improvements, pur
chases and expenditures, have been paid
for, without any aid from the State. In
deed, from the beginning of the chapter
to the end.of it, the State has done next
to nothing for thc College. The legisla
tive vote of 600 pounds New Jersey cur
rency, made in 1796, to Nassan Hall,
seems to have exhaused all liberality in
that behalf.
Although the College has been tho
means of bringing hundreds of thousands
of dollars into the State, and has helped
to make the name of that State, illustrious
at homo and abroad, yet she, the State,
quietly pockets this revenue of glory, to
to say nothing of dollars, and has contin
ued to do so for a hundred years. God
save the Commonwealth ! For her liber
ality to her literary institutions surely
never will.
Betray not Confidence.
For once that secrecy is formally upon
you, it is implied a hundred times by the
concurrent circumstances. All that your
friend says to you as a friend, is intrusted
to you only. Much of what a man tells
you in the hour of affliction, in sudden
anger, or in any outpouring of his heart,
should bo sacred. Iu his craving for sym
pathy he has spoken to you as to his own
soul.
To repeat what you have heard in so
cial intercourse is sometimes a sad treach
ery ; and when it is not treacherous it is
often foolish. For you commonly relate
but a foolish part of what had happened,
and even if you arc able to relate that
part with fairness, it is still likely to be
misconstrued as a word of many meanings,
in a foreign tongue without thc context.
There arc few conversations which do
not imply some degree of mutual confi
dence, however slight. And in addition
to that which is said in confidence, there
is generally something which is peculiar
though not confidential which is ad-
dressed to thc present company alone,
nofc tQ tbcir . It
r i i. "
IIIM.I III, 11)1 I, Ill-Ill. illlll I I II : V (III l AIM I.
ted to understand it rightly.
-j -
The Water Lown (Wis.) Democrat gives
thc following illustration of Western trav
el :
A Cottasc on Runners. Last Satur-
day our attention was attracted to rather
a strange looinng venicic ior tins part ui
I tit. 1 ore 1 ?i .1
Wisconsin in lo.ju, wnen rauroaus aiu li
tout to intersect each other. Quite a fair
' ll. 1 1 1. l.Anlninlr IVIl
Sizeu liousc was ouservuu iu nuoiunij mo
ving through our streets, drawn by four
A pair of heavy, stout oxen. Itvas,in fact
n ninnnnr's ll
n nioneor's dwelling, with its furniture
1 - j-
(onri inmnfps. nn n ioiirnev to some new
pipe-cuiinncy
the roof, out of which a volume of smoke
was rolling. he interior was divided
into rooms. Around thc fire somo half a
dozen young heads were crowding, for it
was pretty cold, while thc who was dis-
charging her domestic duties, apparently
engaged in getting dinuer-
Fancy Agrictiltiire.
At an immense expense we have engag
ed the pen of a practical farmer, who will,
from time to time, give us matter for the
Agricultural Department.
To Break ui a Farm. Early in the
spring, as soon as you have laid in a sup
ply of the best ploughs, harrows, rakes,
hoes, &c, employ an overseer, ajid spend
the balance of the year at the Springs
if you are a fashionable, if not go trotting
around two or three counties, trying to
see if there is any possible chance of get
ting thc nomination for the next August
canvass. 13y these means your farm will
be pretty well broken up in a surprising
ly short time.
Cheap way of Fattening Hogs.
Turn them into your neighbor's cornfield
every night.
HOW TO CUKE BOTTS IN A HOUSE.
Shoot him.
If your laud appears worn out and 0
verworked, you may be sure you have
harrowed its feelings too much.
To .get the most work out of your hands
keep them out of your pockets.
How to catch Weasels. Run after
them.
If your hens do not lay well and easy,
the best thiug you can do is to adopt
some mode of getting their head off their
stomaches. The plan of the lady who, in
similar circumstances, put her hens under
a barrel, and kept them there until they
came to terms, is not admired.
How to raise Geese. Send your
daughters to fashionable boarding-school.
If kept at home they will turn out ducks
or "little stupids."
To Raise Corn. "Wear tight boots.
Keep your children out of the orchard
while thc buds aae bursting, they might
be hurt.
A very laughable instance of a Luna
tic's Cunning is given in a late English
provincial paper. A parish officer, with
the proper order, 'was taking him to the
Asylum at Lancaster, but they passed one
night on the way at an inn. Very early
in thc morning the lunatic got up and
searched the pockets of the officer, where
he found the magistrate's order for his
own detention; which, of course, let nim
completely into the secret.
"With that cunning which madmen
not uufrequently display, he made the
best of thc way to tho asylum, saw one of
the keepers, and told him that he had
got a fellow down at Lancaster, whom he
wouldbringup inthecourse of thc day, ad
ding : "He is a queer fellow, and has got
very odd ways. For instance, I shouldn't
wonder if he was to say I was the madman,
and that he was bringing me 1 But you
must take good care of him, and don't be
lieve a word he says."
"Thc keeper promised compliance, and
the lunatic walked back to the inn,
where he found the officer still fast asleep.
He awoke him, and they sat down to
breaksast together.
" 'You are lazy fellow, to be sleeping
all day ; I have had a long walk this
moruingj'said the lunatic.
"Indeed!' said the officer; 'I should
like to take a walk myself, after break
fast; perhaps you will go with me ?'
"The lunatic assented; and aftor break
fast they set out, the officer leading the
way toward thc asylum, intending to de
liver his charge ; but it never occurred to
him to seo whether his order was safe.
"When they got within sight of the a
sylum, the lunatic exclaimed :
"What a fine house that is I"
"Yes, said the officer ; '1 should like to
see thc inside of it.'
"So should 1 1" replied the lunatic.
"Well, I daresay they will let us go
through it; I will ask,' was the response.
"They went to thc door; the officer
rang the bell, and thc keeper whom the
lunatic had previously seen made his ap
pearance, with two or three assistants.
The officer then began to fumble in his
pockets for tho order, when the lunatic
produced it, and gave it to thc keeper,
saying :
"This is thc man I spoke to you about.
You will take care of him; shavohis head,
and put a strait-waistcoat on him !"
"Thc men immediately laid hands on
the poor officer who vociferated loudly
that thc other was the madman, and he
the officer ; but as this only confirmed thc
story previously told bv the lunatic, it did
not all tend to procure his liberation.
He was taken away, and became so in
dignantly furiousthat thc straitwaLtcoafc
was speedily put upon him, and his head
was shaved sccundan artem.
"Meanwhile thc lunatic walked delib
erately back to thc inn, paid his reckon
ing, and set out on his journey homeward.
The good people iu tho country were of
course surprised on seeing the wrong man
return. They were afraid that tho luna
tic, in a fit of frenzy, had murdered the
officer; and they asked him, with, much
trepidation, what he had done with Mr.
Stevenson, which was thc officer's name.
"Done with him I" said thc lunatic,
'why, I left him at the asylum, as mad as
a March hare !
"And this was not far from thc truth ;
for thc wits of tho officer were well-nigh
upset, by his unexpected detention and
subsequent troatment.
"Further inquiry was forthwith made
by his neighbors, and it was ascertained
that thc man was actually in the asylum.
A magistrate's order was produced for
his liberation, and he returned home with
a handkerchief tied round his head, in-
stead of thc covering which nature had
bestowed upon it. Thc unfortunate. offi
cer has been tho standing joke of tho
neighborhood ever since."
BgIn France, to kiss a lady with whom
you are uot at all intimate, on meeting
her, is very common; especially is this
the case if she be a married lady. Not
oly the members of the family, but all tho
guests expect invariably to salute thc la
dy of thc house on coming down in tho
morning. But though the modest Amer
ican may, perhaps, escape the ceremony
on ordinary occasions, yet on New Year's
day it is imperative. On that morning,
says a Paris letter writer, I came down to
my coffee about 9 o'clock. I sat. down
quietly, bidding Madame a ban jour, as
on ordinary occasions. But I was not to
get off so easily. In a few moments she
was at my elbow, with 'Mons. B., I am
veryjingry with you.' I expressed, of
course, a regret, and ignorance at having
given her offence.
'Ah,' said she, 'you know very well tho
reason. It is because you did not em
brace rac when you come down this
morning.'
Madame was a lady of perhaps 28,
with jet black, glossy hair, large lustrous
black eyes, and a clear, fair complexion.
She was ver beautiful; had she been plain
I should have felt less embarrassed.
She waited as though expecting me to
atone for my neglect; but how could I
before the whole table! I sat all this timo
trembling in my scat. At length Mad
ame said: 'Mons. B., cmbrassez moi.'
Thc worst had come. I arose trembling
ly, put my white, bloodless lips all greasy
with butter and wet with coffee (for in
my embarrassment I had dropped my
napkin) to those of Madame. This was
my first French kiss.
. i.. 1 m ......
Thc Vinegar Faced Gentry.
That very able and ubiquitous sheet,
'An Exchange Paper,' gives the following
very plain statements, which wc com
mend to thc afflicted :
There is a class of men in every com
munity who go about with vinegar faces,
because somebody feels above them, or
because they are not appreciated as they
should be, and who have a constant quar
rel with what they call destiny. We hate
such people. They are a nuisance and a
pest. They make all within their influ
ence uncomfortable. These men have
usually made a grave mistake in thc es
timate of their abilities, or are unmitiga
ted asses. Whenever this fault-finding-with
one's condition or position occurs,
there is always want of self-respect. If
you arc a right down clever fellow, wash
the wormwood off your face, and show
your good will by your good deeds. If
people 'feel above you,' why, return tho
compliment and feel above them. If they
turn up their noses because you are a
mechanic or a farmer, or a clerk, turn up
your noses a notch higher. If they swell
when they pass you in the street, swell
yourself. Deliver us from the whining
fools who go around like babies telling
how folks abuse them, and whining be
cause society will not take them by the
collar and drag them into decency.
jjgflloracc Greeley gives the follow
in confession of his faith in a letter to
the Christian Ambassador.
'I have for thirty years earnestly hoped
and believed that our Heavenly Father
will in His own good time, broke the whole
human race into a state of willing and
perfect reconcilistion to himself and obe
dience to his laws consequently one of
complete and unending happiness. I be
lieve that the moral character formed in
this life will be that in which we shall a
wake in the life to come, and that many
die so deeply tainted by lives of trans
gression and depravity, that a tedious
and painful discipline must precede and
prepare for their admission to the realms
of eternal purity ond bliss. Believing;
the ordinance of the Lord's S'jLppcr, as
now celebrated among 11?, a fearful im
pediment to thc progrea and triumph of
tho prinsiplcs of tots abstinence from all
that can intoxicate, I have for sometimo
past felt it ry duty to abstain from it
awaiting and hoping for the day when
Chridtians of eycry sect shall realize that
the blood of our Saviour is not truly rep
resented by thc compounds of Vila and
poisonous drugs commonly sold hero as
wine, nor yet by any liquid essentially
alcoholic, therefore intoxicating.'
'Do you mean to insinuate that I
! lie, sir?' exclaimed a fierce looking must
ached gentleman to a raw Yankee who
, hinted some slight skepticism to one of
hi3 toughest statements, 'No mister,
not at all only it kind o' strikes mo that
1 you are tarnel saving of thc truth.'
ESSTho first piece of artillery was fn-
veuted by a Ucrman, soon alter thc m
! vention of gunpowder, and artillery was
! first uscd by thc Moors at Algesiras, in
' Spain, in tho sioge of 1841.
A free library has just opened at Sand
Lake. Contents eight Almauaoa and tho
Troy Directory for lb'51. If Sand Lake
keeps on, it will have to be fenced in that's
! nil.
I XSirTho cost of the United States army
and navy is SSrOOOjOOO per annum.
-
j cWhy is a school master like a chair
I Tl 1 1 11
maker; isecauso ue canes oquqhis.