Wmm M mem JOcaotci ta jpolitics, literature, Agriculture, 0rmtcc, iitoralitn, aub cncral 'Jntdliqcncc. .BS 3 Lii 32i i 3k Mfeff - ;J . i VOL. 13. Published by Theodore Scliocli. TERMS Two dollars per annnum in advance Two dollars and a quarter, half yearly -and if not paulbe lore the end of the year, Two dollars and a half. Those who receive their papers by a carrier or stage drivers employed by the proprietor, will be charged 37 1-2 cent, per year, extra. No papers ditconlinued until all arrearages are paid, except at the option of the Editor. lET Advertisements not exceeding one square (six teen lines) will be inserted three weeks for one dollar, and twentv-five cents for every subsequent insertion The Charge for one and three insertions the same. A liberal discount made to yearly advertisers. IU All letters addressed to the Editor must be post paid. J O B PRLYTISG, Having a general assortment of large, elegant, plain and ornamental Type, we are prepared to execute every desci iptionof o,a.Bu,0nrBJnd thou in another, and sits on him and Justices, Legal and other Ulr.nks, Pamphlets, &c. printed with neatness and despatch, on reasonable AT THE OFFICE OF at tup opvtp.p nv The Dirge. What is the existence of man's life, But open war, or slumber'd strife; Where sickness to his sense presents The combat of the elements; And never feels a perfect peace Till Death's cold hand signs his release 3 It is a storm where the hot blood Outvies in rage the boiling flood; And each loose passion of the mind, Is like a furious guet of wind, Which beats his bark with many a wave, Till he casts anchor in the grave. It is a flower which buds, and grows, And withers as the leaves disclose ; Whose spring and fall faint seasons keep, Like fits of waking before sleep ; Then shrinks into that fatal mould Where its first being was enroll'd. It is a dream whose seeming truth Is moraliz'd in nge and youth ; Where all the comforts he can share, As wandering as his fancies ore ; Till in a midst of dark deca', The dreamer vanish quite away. It is a dial which points out The sun-set, as it move about ; And shadows out in lines of night The subtle stages of Time's flight; Till all-obscuring earth hath laid His body in perpetual shade. It is a weary interlude Which doth short joys, long woes, include, The world the stage, the prologue tears, The acts vain hopes and varied fears ; The scene shuts up with los3 of breath, And leaves no epilogue but death. Saturday Evening. How sweet the evening shadows fall, Advancing from the west ; As ends the weary week of toil, And comes the day of rest. Bright o'er the earth the star of eve Her radiant beauty sheds ; And myriad sisters calmly weavo The light around our heads. Host, man, from labor; rest from sin; Tho world's hard contest close; The holy hours with God begin, Yield thee to sweet repose. Bright o'er the earth the morning ray Its sacred light will cast ; Fair emblem of the glorious day That evermore Bhall last. We had a dream the other night, When all around was6till We dreamed we saw a host of folks Pay up the Printer's bill ! Let 5em Wriggle A rural philosopher somewhat advanc ed in life, whose limited knowledge of na ture's mysteries had been acquired with out the aid of science, and who knew not whether a "microscope" was " something to eat, or a new fangled farming machine, j was once in conversation with a youthful friend, fresh from school, who talked to him of the wonderful developments made!frt v that instrumeut. a snecimen of whmh J . , , . , ie carried about him. While the old man was making a fru- gal meal in thc field, at noon, the youth piuuui xu.w, uW Hibitiug its power upon several bugs and divers minute atoms of inanimate matter at hand. To his surprise, his aged pupil did not manifest much astonishment and stung by liis indifference, he detailed to him how many scores of living creatures he devour ed at evory mouthful, and in each drop which quenched his thirst. At this his liearer was sceptical; to prove the fact,' the boy snatched horn his hands a "chunk . of rich cheese which he was then devour ..i: I umpbantly pointed to. The old man gazed upon the sight in-1 differently, and at length, with the utmost nonchalance, took anSther huge bite. "Don't," exclaimed the boy "Ml eat 2t. Unc e Jien : don't vou sce'em ? Sc' em squirm and wriggle!" he deliberately finished his meal.C'&tt- ian QourahU V Let'em icngglc!" said the old man,'mornlng, observed Mrs. .bvvauow. ; munenmg away cairay, "uicy vc got tic. " Servant," returned Splomon, " ais Viorst oivl oftimikin StanHt. IkinP and nh'nfcd hor vARfordaV: Yon don't think SOLOMON SWALLOW. The Woman Tamer. "Rule a wife and have a wife." Solomon Swallow was a bachelor, and a rusty one, too but nevertheless, he had made up his mind to one thing, that he was the only man living who had acquired any knowledge of the art of taking care of a wife All the married men are dolts' was r ; i. ' t mi fn ; ior instance, is my nemuoor, xom j.angi- jblcj his wife makes a sort of three-legged stool of him : she moves in one corner, walks on him as if he Was nobody 1U the hoMOj pQOr maU) takes & M ea ! sy as though it was the most natural, thing in the world. Now that I were on ly Tom Tangible I'd first write a series of matrimonial articles, and if Mrs. T. didn't abide by them, I'd submit her to the wholesome discipline of bread and water and a padlock; one might, perhaps, rsi , brighten her ideas touching her conj muwup, uj uUU vx 6uuu w- hide. And there again are LvertLasy, ! Dick Snooks, and a host more of them H,if,n? I rr T hn nnn innfinn rtT n rni i i tit in the same condition but I-I'm the boy that will set them all right, if they only , follow my examplo after I have conde scended to endow some fortunate female with thc legal claim to the title of Mrs. Swallow." Brave Solomon Swallow. "Well, Solomon," said a neighbor to him 'one morning, " as you are always boast ing of your skill in managing a wife, how 'comes it that you are not married?" "Why, because I have not perfected my system ! You poked your head into the noose withoutmaking any preparation, and hence, Mrs. Everly makes what she like of you. But I go to work logically, I begin by studying the erudite works of Zingenba zo, fOn the philosophy of woman's hold ing her tongue.' I then read several treatises on 'the effect of bread and wa ter discipline in making good wives.' Shakspcare's 'Taming thc Shrew' furn nished me a few excellent practical les sons. And I am now generalizing all ,1 . i -i- 1. 1 11 added Solomon, " my 'Bules for the Reg ulation of a Woman' (I intend to publish it) will be completed, and then I shall take me a wife." And Solomon was as good as his word, for, at the age of thirty-five, finding him self prepared to give battle to any woman in or ouc 01 tne iana 01 Amazons, ne got 1 . ii 1 1 .. 1 me systems mio one, wmcu siian carry , sceing that 1 can't awaken to call you Swallow. the sway in all future generations, and ! up fn tuc ra0rning, or cat burned toast, ! The turning of the key made her a convert the plague of matrimony into a j or driut raw tea, etc., it is time I should ' ware of his intention, when she rushed to blessing. Iu the course of a year or so," ; begin to instruct you in your duties." ; thc door, but it was too late. o,lrl Rl married. At this important period Sol- j " prom ss. till eight, you are. to get up, ' to sec how matters were going, but scarce omon was as puffy, comfortable-looking dress quietly, so as to create no distur- ly put his eye to the key-hole when ho a little fellow as you'd meet in a day's ;'bance, light the fire, air the clothing and began roaring like a bull, for Mrs. Swal walk, for, albiet, the crown of his head stockings, sweep the rooms, prepare break-; low had torn everyone of his fine linen never stood full five feet from the heels ; fast) and announce the perfection thereof. ' shirts, (that on his back excepted) into of his boots, he was of proportions that ; Eigh ttill ten, wash tea things, make beds, ' pieces, to make a rope to let herself down would have done honor to any alderman, : rub furniture and clean windows. Ten from the window ; nor was this all, for or even a Lord Mayor ; and bis gait, es- 1 to twelve, go to market and prepare din-1 upon farther examination, he discovered pecially when walking with anything in j ner. Twelve till two, devote to dishwash- , that she had also thrown a variety of chair thelikenessof a woman, was aspompuos as ! ing, sweeping up and rubbing funiture. ' cushins, bed linnen, &c, into the dirty a Sultan's, while at such times his coun- I 'iv0 till Bix, spinning, mending clothes, ' yard, to make her descent safe, tenance always assumed an expression j and darning stockings. Seven, tea. 0, chap-fallen Solomon Swallow ! that could not have brooked the approach ' prom that time till nine, a second courso The archieves of the Swallows are si of femalo familiarity. The lady whom : 0f mending and darning, and then go to ! lent as to the remaing occurrences of this Solomon had chosen for his "worser half," . bed. And this daily course, madam,with j eventful day, but on the very next morn was apparently a lamb-like creature, so ' a strict observance of tho rules of civili- ing, about 7 o'clock, Mr. Swallow poped that the chances were very fair that she ' ty frugality, decorum, and obedience, his head from under tho blanket, and would not only be a tractable wife, but may? jn time, enable you to do honor to ! said. that Solomon would require no help from the choice of Mr. Solomon Swallow." " Mrs, Swallow, dear, isn't it time to his system to make her so. Mrs. Swallow listened quietly to the ; get up ?" Now bolomon had tho torbcarance not ' to interfere with his lady's sayings and j doings on tho night of the wedding, nor 1 is it recorded that he assumed special au thority on the night either; but about six o'clock the next morning, he softly insin- 1 atea to nis sleeping partner tnat it was , time to get up. "And," ho added, "when breakfast is ready you may call me, but bo sure not to burn the toast." "Breakfast and toast," said Mrs. Swal low, "why, what do you mean?" "Why, my dear I meauj madam,, that I have begun my system." "And won't you get up too ?" " Yes, when breakfast is ready and my stockings aired 1" Mrs. Swallow was about to reply, but she checked herself, as she was ashamed cnxr frt i,:J rt cn cWf . . .1 , . an ac- qamtance; out tnougn in tne present in- 6)je did gel as sh wag bid glje resolved thafc .fc waa iast time she would get up at six o'clock in the morning t0 prepare breakfast. At eight o'clock, everything being rea dy Mrs. Swallow called Mr. Swallow. "Breakfast is ready, Mr. Swallow." "Is the toast made ?" "Yes." "Not burned?" " No." " Are my stockings aired ?" "Yes." " You'll do," quoth Mr. Swallow, and to breakfast he went, having received-the 6ervices of the blushing Mrs. Swallow to assist him in dressing. The breakfast, however, did not turn ?ut i bfflct;aclie(1 UP for- Tbc toast was done a little too much, j ca sn't done quite enough; the jdop - bowl was at the wrong end of the and here were scveral crumb3 on .I.cari afford' to keep a servanrahd a wife" ! jtoo?" ' "'"j " Thc servant hasn't been here this STROUDSBURG, MONROE The lady was again posed, and she said nothing, but the day wore to its olose before she could bring herself to the be belief that Mr. Swallow had actually made use of the word "servant" and " wife'' in the same sentence. The next morning at six o'clock, Mr. Swallow again informed his wife that it was time to get up, coupling the remark Tt'ffTi flirt cnvacfiAii 4liof in 4iifntrt ulin f tr,of on,ro fl, rnnMn nf rn,:nii:n her of so necessary a duty. . -yTva ow-nn i,nTOmTn,. Wnfiffnl M,. b V; soft insinuation, for at the mo ment sho either was, or pretended to bo, VT ia,;-" J' , ((T)onf von Unnr Mr? SwilW ? nnnfli l you bear Mrs. bwallOW quoth But alas ! a slight consciousness was the only response from Mrs. Swallow Now this was a ticklish point with Sol omon, but he was prepared for it. "What says my system on this head V said he to himself, musingly. "It says that a la- zy wife who lies abed in the morning may Vo rnrr nrnnorl tr rnmniil nA nf l,ni fluftr . v b the judicioug application of a coercion in JAfld tIliagniGcent idca had 5nr.niwrnoB(1(a tun fwci,rtir1 ftn,:0 thau insertcd th(J infc of a hu thc ht arm f thJ ?s ; might be expected, tho intended effect in- ' stantly followed the cause, lor the aston- : ishedMrs. Swallow sprang from the bed as though she had been thrown from it by an earthquake. But alas, her agility was too strikingly manifested, for she not on ly all but annihilated poor Solomon in j the other down, and ruminating the rolling over him, but she dashed his pat- j while upon their relative position. But eut lover from tho nail which suspended , it must be confessed that Mrs. Swallow it to the wall, and broko the dial into a j had the best of the bargain, for indepen thousand pieces. dent of Solomon's mangled head, par- " What a dreadful dream," ejaculated ; boiled neck and shoulders, ho saw as Mrs. Swallow, pressing her left hand on ! clear as mud, that the watchdial and the the wounded arm. j crockery must be repleaced; so that the " What a dreadful reality," shouted reducing of the first chapter in his volum Mr. Swallow, contemplating the fragile ! inous system to practice must be attended ruins of his demolished timo-piece. with an outlay of at least twenty dollars. Here we pass over the interval between This being the case, I might as well be this occurrence and thc time when the hung for a sheep as a lamb, thought he, happy pair in question were seated at and with that he softly rose from his breakfast. j chair, stole softly from the room, and " Now. Mrs. Swallow." said Solomon, turned tho kev unon the ?entle Mrs. " O "And what are those, Mr, Swallow?" j "Bo silent, madam, if you please ; not ! to talk, but listen, is one of tho most im- ! portant of them.7 ! " Proceed, sir." 1 A n A ATr Strfillnw 1 n -1.-i ri rr An rrfmrs nf her for tho second interruption, proced- - ed : onA- nnd ihpn mildlv innuired : And do you really expect this of me, ir Swallow I" " To be sure I do," responded her spouse, "Then you'll be sadly disappointed, for jn do no such thing." "No?" ' " No." " I've a way to make you." "How?" " Spoon diet, locks, chains and cow hide." " Mr. Swallow !" "What?" " You're a brute!" and Mrs. Swallow threw herself back and looked desparate. Now this was a climax. Mr. Swallow was called a brute at his own fireside,and by his own wife, which was the worst of j all. He, Solomon bwallow, the celebra ted founder of a system of matrimonial observation, called a brute, and by no less a personage than Mrs. Swallow. At first he was so astonished at such open manifestations of rebellion against his royal will, that he only looked aghast; but when he came to himself, he saw that something must be done at once, or tho field was lost forever. "You called me a brute, Mrs.- Swallow." " I did, Mr. Swallow-" " A brute?" " A brute." " I'll go mad and break things, Mrs. Swallow." " As you like, sir." And Mr. Swallow did go mad, but he had a method in his madness, for he seized the cheapest article of delf that was on the table (an old plate with a crack in it) and dashed it into a thousand pieces on the hearth, as if ho was in a tremendous passion. ' How do you like that, Mrs. Swallow !' " Vastly, Mr. Swallow, try it again !" And again ho did try it, (for ho had become desperate) and demolished the cream jug; . . 'jNow," said the lady, "it is my lam;" and jumping up she sent .the Blpp-bowlto keep company with its toa-table compan- COUNTY, PA. JUNE SO, raeoinre ions This was, of course, too much for Sol omon ; it snapped asunder tho last re maining cord of the little reason he had left, and he slapped his helpmate we use the word in its most positive sense on her right check; but scarcely had the echo of tho blow melted into silence, ere the indignant dame seized the tea-pot and shivered it into atoms against the head of; should be making tbese preparations which Line Devils. Miss Strickland was a mai tho devoted Mr. Swallow. Nor was this 1 they cannot in justice to themselves dispense ' den lady of five-and-forty,who had wea this all, for as he was rolling heels over ' witI,t prior t0 briiifrinrr before the public "aze rie(1 tIie Doctor's patience by her reitera jiead from the effect of the awful collis- j lhose urlideg an(fairimas which thcy fah ecl attempts at dying at most unreason ion, she piled on the remainder of the . com liUon whh thc con, ' able houra-at least so far as regarded tea-traps until there was scarcely a bone ! . . . . , . , . the comfort of her medical attendants. in his body which had not echoed to the . PcUlors 00 occasIons oflll!s 1,lcre ".One cold, stormy night thc doctor had shock of cups and saucers, and jouuds 0f , ,,owever Plc,lty of tI,nc -vetlcft to enable ev- been caUcd to seo Migg Sally? an( ha(1 buttured toast. j cry one who wishes to get up something for succeeded as usual in pacifying her fcars5 Unable to carry the war on any longer , the fair. Thc premium list, which is very and left her enjoying a sound and refresh for that day, Solomon gathered himself j extensive, and which oilers more and higher . ing sleep. He had hardly arrived at homej up as well as he could, and, vowing vengc . premiums than was offered by Society last 'drenched through with the rain which anco, he stuck his pipe in his mouth, his j ycar wju soon c rea(v for publication. was falling in torrents, and got into a hands in his pockets, and then common- j premiums will be ofierered to competitors i warm and comfortable bed when he was . , i i & .i ,it., ,ieu on, looking as if he could bite a A-ii -in -,i . i- pieco off the griddle, without setting his teeth on edge. H is good lady, too, being determined to follow the example of her lord and master in other matters beside the delf-breaking, placed another chair back to back with Solomon's, and after prodviding herself with a novel, sat her j self down and began reading away, as if i there was no such things as beds to make, or stockings to mend, in all Christendom Here this affectionate couple sat for six mortal hours, each bent upon sitting "Open tuc uoor mis instant, iur. Swallow." "Not until I have kept you here seven days upon bread and water," returned the victorious Solomon, as he went his Trfitr rninip! n rr But alas! how fleeting is human great ness in about half an hour he returned " les, returned the lady, " and you may call me when you have lit thc fire, and put on the kettle." Poor Solomon ! There was no alter native. So ho sat about his work with an alacrity which showed that he had the terror of a broken head and demolish ed body linnen running strongly in his memory. In short, Solomon was a con quered man. That day he had to prepare breakfast, sweep the room, etc. The next, his assistance was required in thc rubbing of the furniture, and thc making of beds and, before the week was out, he was in itiatcd into the mystery of washing towels. Degenerate Solomon bwallow i is ay, in aftcrtimcs, when tho Swallows began to gether about him, it is whispered that his better half used 'to employ him at yet more deeply conjugal offices. About five years after the celebration of his nuptials, a friend called to seo him. "You must go with me to the theatre, Mr. Swallow," said the friend. " lie shan't," said Mrs. Swallow. " Ho must," said the friend, "aud so must you." " I may, butta can't," replied the dame, " for he must stay at homo with the chil dren." And Mrs. Swallow did go to the play, and Solomon stayed at home. 0, hen-pecked Solomon Swallow ! The moral of this authentio talc is that " bachelors' wives and old maids' chil- dren are always excellent in theory, but as bad as can bo in practice and that a managed wife is better than no wife at all. Had Solomon only treated his better-half decently in tho beginning, tilings might have gone on smoothly to the end, but as it was, he compelled her to be a lartar in her own defence; he had to take the con scconquences." The jnow uricans x icayimc says une, m --r r 1 n- ripe, iuicy peaches arc in that iharkct Ye leave our readers to their own reflec tiong. "Three' dollar gold pieoes,aq,bjing is sued from the mint." 1353. TliC Pennsylvania State Fair. Our State Agricultural Exhibition and Cat- tie Show, which is to be held in Pittsburgh , , . , o L i on.i i on the 26th, 2th, 23th, 29th and 30th days of September next, should not be lost sight of by the farmers, horticulturists, mechanics, manufacturers and artizans of Pennsylvania. The time is already at hand when exhibitors; without the tatate, and encouragement given ! , , , , r i by handsome rewards for price articles in all branches of industry, with the hope that they dyin and nccdcd his assistance. Half may be all represented. j aslecp aild iiaf awaicej be sprang from I desire to say to the farmers and others of the; the bed, and ran to the door, to inquire western counties of the Stale, to not hesitate which of his neighbors was in so danger making preparations for competing at this ex- 0U3 a condition. On opening the window hibition because it is to be held in their midst, j he wa3 surprised and chagrined to find It is expected that those who are convenient j tbat his dying neighbor was Miss Sally will have the most to exhibit. Do not think ; Strickland that after he had left her an that because it is a Stale exhibition tIjat; or two before she ws taken sudden- tlV flOWn nrrnin find SPTlt. .1 nioccnnnrnr m you who have been in thc habit of com- pcting in county fairs, will be outdone, and that there is no chance for you to succeed. Let no farmer say it will be no use for me to come in as an exhibitor, and that thc pn- time he would get his horse and sulky up zes will all be borne off by those who come, and have them at the door. Thc doctor, from afar. Let me say to you that the citi- worn out with the repeated calls, and fa zens of Dauphin County, at the first cxhibi-, 5t" his previous visit, hesitated ; lion, and the citizens of Lancaster county at,but fi.na,1y de1cidrec1l on going, deterinined , r n - . .1 1 j-i . j to make an end of the job by cither killing the second, fell into this error, and did not I J J 1 or curing. contribute as they could have done. After j ()n , , , . 1nrtmTT nnA the fairs were over I heard farmers of those j counties regret their want ot confidence m' what they had to exhibit one said he could have taken such a premium, and another that he could have beaten such a production, and another that he could have beaten such an; animal, if he had only known what was on exhibition before he left home. Let no one for a moment suppose that he 1 orshe cannot be benefitted by preparing some uung iur tne l'air, out conciuue mat it is uieiUnb03om h is m nd fullv-and freelv. as it aggregate zeal of all, that gives life; and en ergy, and spirit to the honorable and valuable competion of an agricultural exhibition. There is no man in the cummunity, who de serves the name of a fanner, and no woman who esteems the important place she holds in her husband's house, who does not, or may not possess something of which she may be justly proud ; and even if they should be mis taken in this, they will at all events be enti tled to the credit of having afforded a good example of thus testifying their approbation of an institution which they must bo convin ui an mourn nun iu,u uiu y iiiuai. uu uuu mi- i ced is calculated to spread abroad informa- mation of thc most valuable character and introduce improvements of the highest value to us all The only way that a fair representation me prouuets ot tne tarms ot our country can be had is, for each farmer on an occasion of a State Fair like the present, to bring the best he has got, and a fart of every thing, for there is no one so poor a farmer but what can excel in something. One of the best ways to promote agriculture is the frequent meeting of the tillers of the soil a frequentcomparing of notes, and social converse with one anoth er upon the different modes of farming, and upon the results of certain experiments as tried by each other in different sections, and upon different soils a bringing together of their yearly products m competition, and an exchange of seeds and breeds, Should the opportunity of thc coming- ex - hibtion be duly appreciated by the farmers apparently iu high glee that Beelzebub and others of our country, we may confident-! noticing it, told them to o to bed aud bo ly expect to see together at that time, the lar- j quiet that on there notobcyinr his or gest concourse of people ever assembled in , ders cheerfuIly and readily, hc "stamped Pennsylvania. That the dmerent branches j , J "' , K,. I of industry will be presented in almost end- Ins vnrintv. no nnn o.nn rlnnhf. n.l thnt n.ir I sister States will contribute largely and com - I pete strongly with us tor our prizes, we may;13 comnnng to-morrow, and there will Uo confidently anticipate. Lvery etlort will be made by the Society, to promote the interests of exhibits, and to encourage a lauuume competition in an me The Society anticipates that tbis, their third annuul exhibition, will be much larger) than either the first or second, and situated as it will bo, where easy communication may! I be had to it irom tne iastanu uie wesi, inai . . r .1 T1 . I 1 ITT .1 .1 ! it will possess every attraction anu advan tage that contribute to the success of an Ag ricultural Exhibition. ROBERT C. WALKER, S'tfc'y. Penu'rt. State Agricultural Society. Elizabeth, May G, lb53. A Siiualiont Two young officers were traveling ill the far West, when they stopped to take supper at a small road-side tavern, kept by a very rouah Yankee woman. The ! landlady, in a calico sufl-bonnet, and bare feet, stood at the head of the table to pour out. She inquired of her guests 'if thcy ohose long sweetening, or short sweetening in there collee. Tho first officer, supposing that ' long sweetenim?' meant a large portion of that article, chose it accordinelv. What was ' . . . - i,j3 dismav when ho saw their hoatess urn , her finger deep down into an earthen j nr j t1IovrjJ ropiicd flattered btHe'ii nfhnn'ov that stood near her. and tben , . .R3 stir it (the finger) round in tho coffee. His companion, seeing this, preferred short ,weetoninr?., XJnoiuwhicli" tho woman picked up n large lump of m2pl3 NO. 3G; sugar that lay in a brown paper on thd beside her, and biting off a piccd ? '5 ,h gCntlem.e.ri dispensed with coffee that evening. This anecdote hcar(1 frQm thc of Qnd of tj10SC officers. ilizss Leslie. Sally Strickland's Case. Showing hoio the Doctor cured her of the i . ,, , , . 1 , ' a voice without begging him to get up m , , d n8 1 n TTinmnnr. ns nun nr his nnifhhnrs xrn: 1' wn i- :c ; nofc c0,ne quick hc ould Rofc find 'iive The messenger unred him 1 uuiviii mo itcuui uuu it'll uuu 11 lie uiu d her a- to get ready as soon as possible and in thc mean ghastly countenance, said but very little and verv rrlonmilv. nnd in all rpsnpnfq .in. I j o j 1 . ..f. ipeared more like a stranger from another world than the humorous and agreeable ' physician. On his entering the room of SallJi slie noticed the countenance of the . doctor a?d discovering that something ? Pre?lnS .UP bi3 P"ta, as he did not appear wiin ins wonteu cneeriumess, so she inquired of him thc cause of his . loom and depression, and begged him to would probably be the last opportunity he would have. He told her it would be improper under existing circumstances that as the time of her dissolution was approaching it might terrify and hasten her departure. She entreated him to keep nothing from her though it might relate to herself, for sho was very desirous of knowing the worse of thc case, and was prepared to meet it, be it what it might. He still declined disclosing the cause of his melancholy; and insisted that her remaining strength I mi 1 was insufficient to sustain the shock which it must necessarily produce; and beired her to turn her thoughts to other and more appropriate subjects. Though Sally sup- posed herself dying, yet she was unwilling ofjto die wjthout havfn T her curiosity crati- V mT fied, and she therefore the more strongly importuned the doctor to keep her no lon ger in suspense. After getting her curi osity and imagination on tip-toe, he con sented. He said when the messenger came last for him, he was in a sound sleep, and was dreaming that hc was in the land of woe that Beelzebub was conducting him to thc various rooms of the prison of despair, for the purpose of showing him their ar rangement that in passing thc door of a room in which some young Satans lodged : he saw them jumping and skipping about uooi, auuiiig wica trU0 SataniO ClliphaSlS, "Go to bed, I Say, 1 aud gct so,ue SCP, fov old Sail Strictlaud no sleep in purgatory for a fortniht."- Miss Sally sprang for tho broom, but tho 'doctor caichin" up bis saddle bas mado hi3 cscape. The cure was effectual. 63" A young widow was asked why she waa goinnr to take another husband so soon after the death of her first. "O, la !" said Bhe, "J do it to prevent frettin mvself to " - - death on the account of dear Tom!" ID3 Shanghae fowls grow of such size in Iowa that they use them to plough with in stead of jackasses. They are full as sjLrong, and hot a great deal more clumsy. Those of our readers who have heard bf the road which was "not passible not. even jackassible," will find the following twin verso not much worse : " This road is not crossible; No, not even horsible. So try not to 'went it.' Or else you'll repent j,t." ' Jim,' said one fast man, ydcfrdly-i to ll L..1 ll .1 1 A .t uer, ic 13 rcporieu mat ,5'suieitjtho L nn onnnnTif. rh? frtlt?". lmifv.,noif ? East on aocouafc of your b.elie&anitiner- --m. ant martyr.' 1 "Tft. " KAWXtr. S 4? 1 " W m1- lW .thatAVQu . believed every thing you;sa,w. belonedntQ you, and aa thc public didn't, ydffllfV J