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THE SCRANTON TRIBUNE-SATURDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1901.
Vv'V'-w3'
i
i
otA VARIETY TURN
GERALD BBENAN IN BLACK AND WHITE.
e
XCKPT In tourist time, the
duties of her majesty's
consul at 'WelM-herg-on-the-Oder
cannot 1)o called
excessive. As It was yet
early spring In the prin
cipality of ..utzlngon, I
hntl absolutely nothing to do, save, to
poke up ii n odlclnl fire, read tinollloliil
novels, and on fortunate occasions
converse with chance callers tit the
consulate.
This was one of the "fortunate occa
sions," for M, do trtimotho had conic
to cheer my solitude. I had met M. de
Lamothe only a few days before,
while exploring the wooded country on
the other Hide of the Oder. IIo was
an Alsatian, ho explained, and a writ
er by profession but as he did not
favor mo with particulars regarding
his works .. gathered that his literary
aspirations were so far uncrowned by
SUCCCtS.
M. de Lamothc and I had been dis
cussing Johann XXIII., the absentee
Trlncc of Lutzlngcn; my AlsaLtnn nc
qualntanco agreeing In a rather list
less way with the warm and decidedly
undiplomatic sentiments which I ex
prescd. "No doubt, Mr. Military, you
fire right," he said. "A ruling sover
eign should, I suppose, live among his
subjects. But has he not placed the
government In the hands of good min
isters? There Is Herr von Ilottwcller,
the president of the council of state"
"A professional politician, nearly as
unpopular as the prince himself. If I
might speak quite unreservedly"
'Tlcaso do, air. Mnllory. I shall car
ry no 'tales." .
"Well, it is indiscreet to talk; but
the state of affairs disgusts me so
much that it Is a comfort to find some
one to whom 1 can rellove my feelings."
And then there I told Lamothe every
thing which I had discovered about
the corruption practiced by Von Rott
weiler and the other councilors, the
scandalous over-taxation of the peo
ple, the wholesale, bribery in connec
tion with government contracts, and
the infamous proposal to turn tin?
capital town of Marbach livto a gamb
ling center. X,&mothe listened politely
While I unburdened myself, raising 'his
eyebrows over tho most flagrant por
tions of tho narrative, but displaying
no very great interest.
"I never heard that Prince Johann
was a profligate," I put in, "but mere
ly that he was a careless young fel
low, who spent his time in exploration
and travel, instead of properly govern
ing his people."
Lamotho' s reply I did not hear, for
the noise of carriage wheels in the
streets caused me to turn my attention
In that direction. Had the consul-general
at Marbach honored me with a
visit'.' No. A ludy descended from the
coacli which stopped directly outside
my door, and presented the following
card made its appearance: "Miss
Kitty Gosser. ('You All Know Her!')
Krom the Principal Music Halls, Lon
don. "
I gazed delightedly at this announce
ment, and motioned! M. de Lamollic to
keep his seat by the fireside. Of course,
I knew Kitty Gosser.
"Don't stir M. dc Laniotbe," 1 said.
"My lsitor Is one of the jolllest little
women, and the best variety singer in
l.tmiand."
W't. heard her businesslike stop on the
stall. The door opened, and in she
sallied much as she does at home
though a trifle less brilliantly attired.
Rot li spite of her outward appearance
of good humor and the jaunty fashion
in vliich (upon my Introduction) she
gave her hand to Lamothe, I could see,
clcnly, that all was not well with
Kilty Gosser. And as Miss Kitty was
not the one to keep either her happi
ness or sorrow lo herself, wo wore soon
in possession of tho secret trouble to
which I owed this visit.
"You know thrat I've been a flat fail
ure In my ticrinuu tour'."' she said.
No, I had not heard that regrettable
i.cwh. I was about to add that I could
scarcely credit It, but Kitty Interrupted
my intended consolation. "Thnts all
nonsense, Phil Mallory. I know when
I'm making a mess of It. They don't
understand mo hero. From Berlin tn
Itaden my songs have fallen flat; and
unless I do something sensational to
make them flock to see me, I shall have
tn go back to 'The Smoke' (I presume
she meant London) wllh my flag hauled
down. Think how Nellie Uulilngtnn
wi'.l laugh! how they'll all laugh!
Phil Mallory, you must di something
to give mo a 'log up.' "
I cast a meek mournful look at La
mothe, but that worthy was admiring
my view of the Donistrnsse,' anil hud
apparently no Interest In the conversa
tion. "Well, Miss Gosser," I remarked,
"I've heard of her majesty's consuls
f being put to many strnnga uses play
ing the private detective, physicking
slcg dogs, and so forth but thin la the
first time, I fancy, that one of us has
been called to act the part of theatrical
iigein."
"11 thought you were it friend,"
irli'd Kitty tearfully, '
"I am tilwnys your friend, Miss Gos
ser, but
"There ate no 'huts' between real
filcnds."
Who could answer tho minx other
wise than In tho affirmative?
"Good!" she continued. "Then listen
to my plan. Hut first: your other
visitor Is not a subject of tho Prince of
Lutzlngen, I think?"
Lamothe rosu with a quickness for
which I had not given him credit. "No,
Miss Gosser," ho replied, "I am not a
Lulzlngen subject at all. But as you
doubtless desire a private talk with
the consul"
Kitty, who was nothing If not un
ceremonious, playfully pushed him back
Into his chair. "Please don't go," she
exclaimed eagerly. "Perhaps you can.
help us. Now, gentlemen, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do. I am going to
get expelled from the principality for
111" crime of lese-majesty."
r gaspeu. "Ann you expect me. a
Lrlllsh consul"
"To help? Yes, young man: but only
secretly. You .shan't be implicated, or
rim any risk of a wigging. All I ask
of you is to scribble me a song, like
the ones you used to write before you
became an Important personage. We'll
rig up the music between us; and T
shal sing It tonight at the A'olks the
atre In Marbach. It must be a rat
tling attack on old Von Hott welter, the
prime minister, and the rest of the
council: besides pitching into this gad
about of a Prince .lohann. Now. II' you
write me a ong not nscuiTllous song,
you know, but a sort of parable that
the people can see through and under
standI'll Mng It at the Volks theatre.
Tliero will be a tremendous sensation;
the house will be crowded, and "
"And Miss Kitty Gosser will be
marched across the frontier, in charge
of a troop of dragoons."
"Precisely. After that, micecs Is
easy. All the Fatherland's going to
ring with Kitty Gosser and her song."
So 1 yielded; and an hour or two
later found us busy Improvising an ac
companiment for our song satire upon
the rather brassy piano which I had
purchased from my predecessor in the
consulate, i do not claim any literary
quality for the verses; but they were
popularly written, possessed a quan
tity of blunt humor, and could scarcely
fall of being understood by the dullest
wltted burgher of Marbach. Of course.
I am an old Heidelberg man. and my
German is excellent, but without l.a
mobhe's assistance I could never have
hoped to turn out much Idiomatic
wuik. ijamoine coaclieu Kitty care
fully In accent and pronunciation. I
shall not Inflict tho full text of our
composition upon my readers. The
title, freely translated into Knglish,
was "When tho Cat's Away," and it
was simply a fable set to music,
crowded with allusions, and telling in
obvious parable the story of Prince
Johann's abandonment of bis realm to
Herr von Itottwcilcr and his gang of
corrupt ministers!. Now, as every one
know, .lohann XXIII. descends from
the mediaeval lords of Katzenberg, or
"Cat's Mountain," so that when he
figured in our satire as
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ESpEBHMfii finffliBp iff
THE SUNDAY
NORTH AMERICAN
Has Beaten All Newspaper Records
The first number was issued September 29 and 206,000 copies were
sold. Fifty thousand people in Philadelphia alone asked for copies at the
newsstands after the supply had been exhausted. Similar reports are made
throughout the State. They show that the people of Pennsylvania want
and appreciate
A Sensible Sunday Newspaper
The Sunday
North American
has come to stay
Next Sunday's Paper Will Be Even Better
Color Section No. I Eight Pages exclusively for women and their
interests. Articles by Marion Harland, beauty recipes by Mrs. Henry
Symes, and children's stories by McDougall.
Color Section No. 2 Comic supplement of four pages, by the men who
made Life, Puck and Judge famous. First page, in striking colors, a
series by McDougall called "Why Bims Lost the Election."
Color Section No. 3 Magazine supplement of twelve pages. Cover page,
" Pope Leo and His Cabinet." Published next Sunday for the first time.
Two score interesting features illustrated by artists of national renown.
Color Section No. 4 Sheet music supplement, in colors, " Ida from Idaho,"
the latest work of John H. Flvnn, author of "Annie Moore."
TFIK NKW HOMK IIKTIIK NOKTH AMEIIIRAX, nilOAP AND SA.NSOM STIIF.ETVI. l'HIT.ADEI.PIUA
Thirtytwo Pages of News
Order of Your News Dealer early
or you will miss the next
Sunday North American
" Advise
All woman who suffer
from ohronlo dlsemsoa
to writs to Dr. Pleroem"
That advice is based upon practical
experience. After suffering for months,
and finding no benefit result from the
treatment of the
local physician,
Miss Belle Hedrick
wrote to Dr. Pierce
for advice. She
acted on the advice,
regained her appe
tite, recovered her
strength, and gaiu-
f ec' several pounds
ivih. m uu-iur
Pierce'' is good ad
vice for every
woman to follow.
It costs nothing.
Dr. Pierce invites
sick women to con
sult him, by letter,
free. Address Dr.
R. V. Pierce, In
valids Hotel and
Surgical Institute,
Rnffalo. N. Y.
In a HttleTiver thirty years, Dr. Pierce,
assisted by his staff of nearly a score of
physicians, lias treated and cured over
half a million women.
"1 Buffered from female weakness for five
months." writes Miss Utile Hedrick or Nye,
,PR;.lil Co., W. Va, "I wn treated by a good
physician, but he never teemed tu ilo me any
good. I wrote to I)r, K, V. J'icrce for advice,
which I received, telliuu me toln-e liis'l'uvurite
Prescription ' und'Golden Medical Discovery,'
I took thirteen bottle, of Favorite I'rocription'
nd eight of 'Golden Medical Discovery,' when
I had used the medicine a mouth my health was
much improved. It has continued to improve
until now I can work lit almost all kluds of
housework. I had scarcely any appetite, but it
it all right now. Have calueil several pounds
in weigh c. I advise all who suffer from chronic
diseases to write to Dr. fierce."
Dr. Pierce's Pleasaut Pellets regulate
the bowels.
-S-S-S-S-H-S-ss--s----bV
CV !!
.4.' 1 B .M
A piliui'ly- piK-,t-.il, s-lnk nml lino,
The luiiily-lliinl nf ;m aniiriit line.
Hid application to his highness was
plain PiuiUKh.
There wa.s no nil.-iakiiiK the "Old
Father Hat" whom wo Introduced into
the chiiriiH ol' our toiiK'. for Una hap
pened to be Von Rottweiler's nickname
itmniiK the wood people of l.utninsvn:
and the pray whiskers of the prime
minister were well known to daring
eareaturhstn.
"It will do-It will do splendidly."
cried tin. enthusiastic .Miss dosser,
when after Lumnthc, who proved lo be
a skillful musician, had improvised a
lively, iojuiIMi air and an orthodox
score, she sihik the dujwerel for the
Hist time In it complete form; and
allhuuffh the words were bud enough
in all conscience, Kitty nmiiaircd to
make them wondrously effective sr
that I waxed nervous over my share
In Its composition, and trembled for
the consequences to Kitty. AVe diank
a bottle of chnpaKiie In its honor, how
over, and then Kitty left us with fer
vent thanks, and an caser Invitation
to visit the, Volks theater in Marbach
on the evcmlnpT to hear her sensational
I triumph.
"Let 1110 whisper an Important
secret," she said, at punlwr. "Von
Rottweiler anil nearly all the council
of stale have promised to be present
at tho theater. I Invited them per
sonally, wnat do you say to thatv"
Xext day I locked up the consulaie,
and took the so-called sehnellzliiRl lor
.Marbach. I found the old capital of
l.utzlnKeii placarded with sandy bills
announcinp that the area I KiikIIsIi
slnRor. Jlifji Kitty doscr. wns to np
penr that evening at the Volks theater,
under the special pntroiuiKc or his ex
cellency, tlio Ilerr Huron von llottwel
Jer and tho members of the stati
council. Punctually at the appointed
tlnir I was at the theater, and pur
chased a teat in the parque... or stall,
from which I could .see almost every
corner of the house with ease. The
place filled (illicitly, for Klty's atute
advertising had aroused curiosity and
the .MiU'liaclieis have always been a
theater-fi-oliif: folk. To the rlftht of
the stuffo was tho royul box, surmount
ed by the crowned ami rampant catii
niouiit, which s the historic coKiilzanie
of the princes of l.uty.lneen. Hut the
heavy purple curtains wore close down,
In Bloomy reminder nf the fact that
.lohann XX II I dwelt no loimer iiiuoiik
his people. Opposite was the minister
ial box, hluKiiii? with lights in honor
of Von Rottweiler's coming,
Tim "curtain raiser" concluded with
a touch of that homely W'ei'therlsh
pathos so popular In deniinn middle
class theaters, and the malinger came,
forward to announce Miss Kitty dos
ser. The band played n lively measure,
Tho Kitty tripped Into view, and 1 saw,
to my amusement, that the little minx
lui a1 dressed herself n catsklns, real
or else Ingenious Imitation-. Kor head
Kfar she wore a gigantic cat's mask,
wllh bristling whiskers and great, leer
Ing eyes. From beneath this strange
covering her pretty, trlcksoms face
smiled out upon the uudcnce, which
hulled her with a mild enthusiasm, In
hln box I could see old MoUweller
laughing and chipping his white gloved
huiidrt. ClNirly bo had no potion or
what was coming.
The song began-rlt's title, "When tho
Cut'u Away," being first announced In
loud tones by tho leader of the orches
tra, in accordance with Murbuvh cub-
r
trni. Kitty was a llitlo nervous. 1
fuiio, but she managed to disguise her
emotion fairly well. Hardly had she
Ming the llrsL words, ,
pliliccl.v pilv.w.lt. sleek mill till.".
TIm' tw-nl, third nf an mu lent line,
than I heard whispering all around me,
and si.w my neighbors looking at one
another in a half-startled manner. Hut
when she described the contents of tne
lurdor over which the cat was set to
watch
.M.iikuli clue-e-. and l.iit.insen Irnii".
And K.iteiiliU!,- c.irp, anil Af i.luiii jam-.
an-l detailed his scandalous neglect of
duty, and his leaving of all lliese good
things lo the vermin, there was a sort
ol general chuckle, followed by cries
ol" iinpioviil and Intelligence. In the
ministerial box, however. Von Rottwei
ler and his friends had ceased to ap
plaud, and were glaring savagely at
the singer. Kitty saw the prime niin
i.'.ter tugging at his whiskers, and cool
ly Imitated the gestuie, thus, giving ad
ditional point to the chorus about "i Mil
Fcther Rat." The Slarbaehors under
stood the full gist of tho satire now.
Roars of laughter eamo from the pit,
in the parquet seats fat burghers were
holding- their sides and rolling about
with inerilment: and when Kitty had
duly chanted ihc refrain, it was taken
up by a tremendous volume of voice.
Ail eyes wore turned upon the minister
ial lies, while parquet, jilt and gallery
tlumdeied In unison:
darmes seized her hy the .shoulders,
tearing away the grinning cat's mask
from bcr with no gentle hands from
tho stage.
Just at this critical moment sornt
thing occurred which stopped the up
roar as If Jiy magic. There was the
boom of a big gun from the artillery
barracks across the Katzenberg Tlatz.
onoelwleo thrice the cannon roared.
TIm llgures scrambling dowi. from the
gallery stopped In lnidcotirse: the police
ceased to wrestle with Kitty dosser;
Von Rottweiler and his adherents star
ed at one another in surprise: women
clung to their escorts, trembling with
fear. What bad happened V Had the
long threatened revolt broke out In
Marbach? Were the enemies of Hie
across the Katzenberg Platz, bo did not
hoar (and, hearing, rejoice) the wild
cheers which followed his manly
speech.
As for me, I went behind the scenes
to (lnd Kitty Gosser. Tho little woman
was radiant.
".Success!" she exclaimed. "S-u-c-c-e-o-s!
Success, my boy! Ob, what a
brick that prince is! And, oh, how
Xellie Burlington will cry when she
leads tho news in tho morning papers."
"Hut perhaps it will not bo In the
morning- papers," I ventured. Kitty
looked at me pityingly.
"Do you think I'm a donkey?" she
sad. "Why, I've just sent a complete
account of the affair to my agents in
London, and Tteutcr's representative
prime ulster attacking the gan Ison? (has been hero to interview me."
nteaillly the liarraelr mm. i,,n-,,i ,.,.. ,
Old I'ullier lt.it, with liU whl-ker. i;r.i.
Slid, "l.i I in I nay. llurr ! umixhl t" I'-O ;
U'lien Ihc i-al's .may ilu nine will pl.ij,
N, iilhle, an I come uualn, (I!"
And. not .-atlslled with singing It unco,
they repeated Hie words again and yet
again, each Unit- louder than before.
The baud slopped, In response to some
unseen signal. The conductor, pule urn1,
tiembllug, shrank behind his desk, but
the chorus swung on uuaccompanleil.
Von Rottweiler had risen from his
chair, and was beckoning somebody at
the back of the box. This somebody
was his principal tool and toady, the
dlrci lor of police: anil no sooner did
the audience catch slgln of Iho bitter's
iMiir-dng face, and see Von Rottweiler
whispering an order In his ear, than
they whooped out the refrain with
gi eater vleor than ever.
".Silence friends!" cried a shrill, boy
ish voice from the pit; "Father Rat Is
going to slop the sung, lie must not
sop it. i.pi us have another verse.
"Uiiiiln-" verse! Another verso!"
oi hoed the audience. A young fellow,
none- nihei' than dlaam, the composer,
leaped over the orchestra barrier, and,
Kiting the frightened entiduetor'.s ba
ton, commenced t beat time. A single
violinist only had the courage to ro
si'ond, but this sulliced for Kilty den
ser, mid she struck up the second verse,
Just as the police director left tho box
to execute Von Rottweiler's coniiiiauds,
Kitty snug rapidly, outstripping the ac
I'linipiiiiiiiieut altogether. She. lold how
ther ats and mlco had pillaged and
plundered until nothing was left In tho
larder but cheeso rinds, sausage skliiM
and empty meal sacks. Furious howls
arose from the pit, and clinched fins
seemed lo lap out above tho heads of
tlio croud. Hardily waiting for the
verse to end, they broke Into the
chorus to oud, they broke Into tho
chorus again,
Tho prhuo minister's face was an
gray as his whiskers. Two or three of
the oillcers around him drew their
swords, while a band of active youths,
swinging themselves over the gallery
rail, began tn swarm down the pillars
of tho ministerial box, A great stamp
ing behind the scenes was succeeded
hy the downfall of two of tho wings
and tho entry of a squad of police with
Kldenrms drawn. Kitty dosser found
har-elf u prisoner, Two strapping gou-
hieauiiy tlio barrack trims linninml
their message: bin it was not long until
the twenty-first lire that the' truth
dawned on the people at iho Volks the
atre. This was a royal salute. Some
great sovereign had visited Marbach.
-Somewhere in the now silent house a
bugle sounded: the curtains before the
gloomy box set apart for l.utzlngon
were swept back; the great chandeliers
In the box Hashed forth their score of
lights, and a tall llgure, dress la uni
form blazing with orders, strode for
ward to the uiable balustrade.
"Who is he? Who can he be." ran
the eager whispers: and then, as the
personage In the box slightly turned
his protlle to see what was happening
on the stage, l bo sam; shrill voice from
the pit, which had called for the second
verse of our song, cried, In tones of
recognition: "ft Is the prince. Ills
hair has giown gray, but It is surelv
Johann XXIII."
Hut I had already recognized t li
newcomer. "Thai is not the prince,"
I exclaimed lo my next neighbor; "it is
M, do Lainnthe, an Alsatlon painter, f
know him well." For tho man In uni
form was Indeed my acquaintance of
Welssburs bo who had helped us to
write "When tho Cat's Away." Hut if
he was i.aiiKHhe the artist, he was also
Johanii XXIII. old iRottweller's horri
fied fnce told mo that.
"Helease that lady!" he cried, point
ing to where Kitty dosser, ragged ami
disheveled, stood staring, like the rest
of us, at (hi: sudden apparition, "Is
this the way we treat foreign artists
tu laitzltiRou? Release her Instantly!"
The command was obeyed. The rudo
hands of the police fell from Kitty's
shoulders, something of her old Inipu
deuco returned, ,Si eouriesled grace
fully to the royal box, ami I thought
that I saw the shadow of a smile upon
tlio prliuo's lace.
"And now," he continued, speaking
in clear, rapid tones, "now, my friends,
I have something to say to you all, I
am the Prince of l.utzlngen an exllo
no longer. I have come back to live
and reign ainoiig my people, and to
deal wlili them as my fathers dealt,
honestly and fairly, For a month I
have been dwelling Incognito upon the
borders of the principality, while my
ministers thought mo at tho furthest
ends or tlio earth. I havo watched ovar
Xaitziuuon In secret watched and
I .-i.",.fl .,! .-.,., .if tl..-., .. t..1tlt,. ,l
hi iv, v'i. ,11111 inn hi ittut , i, n, ititH "'.
gi loving came a resolution to return to
my throne. A llttlo while ago you
heard a song, sung by a clover Kngllsh
iduger, To that song, and to that sing
er, I owe a lasting obligation. They
have helied to bring mo nearer to tho
hearts of my people to give me uu op
portunity of making' a full mm public
explanation of my intentions. l.tilz
ingen will tomorrow see the catamount
standard Moating again over the palace
tower. And, by my father's bones. It
f'lmtl never be hauled down again."
Reforo the storm of acclamation could
break ho had vanished from the royal
box. Hut Johann XX111 must havo
been deaf indeed if, as ho was whirled
,s wo were .speaking an aide-de
camp, gorgeous in blue and gold, came
forward and presented Miss Closser
with a note. It wa.s from Prince Jo
hann, and read as follows:
"Although the cat has come back and
moans business, the mice may have one
more night In which to play. The
Prince of Lutzingen's olllclal labors do
not commence until tomorrow. In the
meantime M. do Inmothc the Alsa
tian artist and composer of ribald bal
ladswill be glad to Join Miss dosser
al supper in the Katzenbcrger hotel.
Tho bearer will escort Miss dosser
thither, and If the whereabouts of Mr.
Mallory, tha Hritish consul iU Weiss
berg, can be ascertained, M. de La
mothe begs that ho. too. may form one
of the party."
it was a very merry Utile supper,
and Kitty dosser sang "When the
Cat's Away" for the second anil
time.
last
THEIR PARTING.
He
She
had His Duties in Town,
Also Had Her Life Work.
fl urn Lite.
"Our time Is almost up," lie said re
gretfully, as he looked rather gloomily
ncross the wide, subdued blue of ocean
that stretched far away in front of
them,
"Yes," she said, with a slight sigh:
only n few hours more, and we shall
be as far apart from each other as
ever."
It was late In July, and they were
sitting on tho quiet llttlo piazza of the
admirable hotel to which they had
drifted together a fortnight before.
The water lapped on the bench at their
feel, mid the sea gulls llattened their
wings aualust the sky above them as
If tu full harmony with the heating f
their own heart.. Two weeks together!
And now they were to be separated,
for no one knew how long. All ro
iiiance must end some time.
"Tomorrow," she said, "you will go
back to your work In town. You will
attend to those important directors'
meetings that yon havo lold me of.
Then there ure stocks to buy and sell,
pollctical friends lo meet, campaigns
to arrange and spcohes to think over,
Your horses, too, will claim our at
tention, and, nf course, there Is your
club, and tho dinners mid all tho other
things for a man lo do."
"And you," ho said half playfully;
"you, too, will bo busy. You have
your life work, you know. There Is the
church, with Its round of social duties.
There aro tho societies to which you
belong, "the papers you are to prepare,
the charities you are Interested In, and
the literary events which claim you."
Yet there was a ray of hopo that
glistened In her woman's eye as sho
laid her hand on his nnii. "Never
mind, dear," she said: "some day wo
may learn better how to economize our
time. Perhaps when vu have, been
married another seven years wu shall
be able lo see more of each other."
A Quiet Hotel.
BU.WITTS wife and children
were in Kuropo. lie heard from
them by cable, and he sent a
return message anil wished
that he could go with It. Hut
no, ho was chained to Huston. After
their departure be learned that there
was some business that Imperatively
demanded his attention, and ho resign
ed with n sigh his proposed trip across
the water. He wrote Mrs. Hlewitt a
pathetic letter, In which he regretted
the escaped which made him miss the
boat on which she departed for lorelgn
shores, and he said, in bis usual ef
fuslve vein, that he had given up all
hope of ever seeing the while cliffs of
Albion, Ho had just posted this letter
when he met his evil genius, ritnggers,
who said: ,
"How do you like keeping bachelor's
hall?"
"Xot at all." wa.s I'.lewllt's reply:
"it's deuceilly dull. Nobody in town,
and 1 feel like Robinson Ciusoe and his
desolate Island,"
"Minus the allium K" suggested
Staggers.
"Hardly," was Hlewlll's response. "I
have jilenty of liomelc-s cats to keep
me eiiTnpnn.N. 1 have n kind of sym
pathy for them, because they are in
much the same condition as 1 am my
self."
"A fellow feeling makes us wondrous
kind. Why don't you open an asylum
for aboiidoned felines? I'll head a sub
scription list for raising money to sup
port tln institution."
"Perhaps if you looked afler some of
your poor relations II would be more to
the purpose," said Hlewitt, sarcasllcul
ly. as he thought of Staggers' father
bending under a load of debt lo sup
port Ids la mily. while his oldest son
was n rapid mini about town, who was
always icaily lo make a big fellow nf
himself by opening wine for peplo who
laughedA', his extravagance behind Ills
back. '
"Hang It, don't he personal!" ex
claimed Sluggers, not at all pleased by
Hlewltl's not too delicate sarcasm,
"Conic down lo the shore with me, and
I'll show you how lo banish the blues.
I,et care kill the cat. You've got to live,
even If Mrs. Hlewitt and tho klits are
having a good llnie In London foggy
Loudon. '
Hlewitt weakly accepted (Ills Invita
tion and was soon ou the train going to
a nearby watering place, which was
desciibed as an earthly paradiso that
(Unbilled the charms of seashore ami
country In an eminent degree.
"Ah! lids is delightful," said Hlewitt,
after dinner, as he sat on Hie piazza
of Hie Top illoi nou.se. - lie ozone
gives me new lite and the odor nom
Dio is full of healing balm to the lungs
that have been tilled with the vtlo
smells of city thoroughfares."
Ozone be blowcd, you old sentimon
lalisl! Come; upstairs and have a llttlo
game."
"You don't mean to say that you
i nine down hero to pluy cards. Don't
you get enough of that In lown',"'
"Well, a man must do something,
What U Hie use of sitting hero listen
Ing to a lot of women gabbling about
dress, or abusing their neighbors?
You'll hear moie scandal here tn live
mliiul.es than you will upstairs all
night- Come along!"
"1 suppose I'll have to." icplleil Hie
wit, resignedly, as he cast a lingering
look at the water where the boats
seemed to be nodding to him to stay
and enjoy the outdoor beauty of tho
night. "Let mo take a long breath,"
continued Hlvwit. "before 1 go into the
tobacco. laden atmosphere where you
aio bringing me."
"Oh, If you want exhilaration, I'll
take you where you can get It," wills"
Staggers' response, as he took hte com
panion into a little closet -where about
a dozen men were crowded, all Intent
upon taking what they called "thre
lingers" from sundry black bottled.
"Ah. Blewit!" squeaked Poppers, ffi
very large man with a very small,
bald head and very weak lungs; "coma
down to got a little fresh air, did
you?"
"Yes," was the rejoinder, "but ther
doesn't seem to bo much of it here.'
"True." Interrupted Balmy, a Ilttla
man with a deep bass voice, "but we'va
got something that'e better."
"Perhaps you have," sneered' Blewit,
"but Is there any necessity for going
into the black hole of Calcutta to swal
low It?"
"Well, the fact is this is a temper
ance hotel, and there Is no bar. There
fore, we haye to come here tr take a'
nip; but you mustn't give tt away,
now that wo have lot you behind tha
scenes. Our wives don't know that
this place exists."
"I should think they would nose it'
as they go upstairs," said Blewit, with
a weak attempt at a pun.
"Mrs. Blewit might," ejaculated
Balmy. "I've heard she could smell
out most anything, but as she Isn't in
these parts, nnrT you nre enjoying a
seiilsh picnic, you needn't be afraid.
I'll promise not to write, to her, sa
drink heartily, my boy, the cable won't
carry the news to Amanda!"
Hlewlt couldn't stand chaffing, so ha
took his poison with as good grace as
possible, not only once, but several
times, ami ho soon forgot alt about
i the ozone, and was as caerer for blufl
as any one, as he followed the party
into a room at tho top of the house, in
the cupola, In fact, which was rjimly
lighted hy kerosene lamps, It wns
oven more stuffy than the closet they
had just left, and Belwlt couldn't help
laughing as ho remurked:
"So this Is what you call eomins
down tn the shore to pas.s a quiet night
with your families?"
"No moralizing,'' piped up Poppers
"shuttle the cards and play for mun.'l
flow long they had forgotten thelB
cares In the fascinations of poker
Hlewlt did not know, but It must hav
been somewhere about midnight when
through a haze of smoke, he saw
female figure In the doorway, It bo
longed to a diminutive but dctermln
oil-appearing woman, who exclaimed I
"Mr. Hlewlt, how dure you keep Mj
Poppers iiti until tins hour? A mal
of your ago ought to be engaged l
better business than leading married
men astray, I'm not mirprlsed thai
Mrs. Hlewlt went off to Kurope wlthJ
out you:"
Having delivered this tirade, thil
mite ot a woman lead the gigantic bu'
submissive Poppers from tho room, nil
Muggers reiunrked:
i say, mown, wnat no you menrj
iiy coining down hero and upsetting J
nice, fiuica rainiiy hotel'," Boston Sa
uriluy liazotto.
Ni:.5rrs
Every Worn
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ltonm I-)1), Timr Mt., New Ycrk.
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