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THE SCRANTON TRIBUNE-WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 1900,
' " l ' V- -,'" J'Vi
-$()e cratifoti $ri6une
Published Dally, Ktcepl 8nmlay.ny The Trlb
la Publishing Company, at Filly Cent Month.
I.IVY S. ntCHAnt), Editor.
(. F. DY.XDi:r, lluilnesi Manager.
New York Ofllcc! 150 Kasaau St.
fl. S. VltnKfiAND.
Bote Agent for Foreign Advertising.
Entered at the Pottoffics t Scranton,
8ccond-Clasi Mill Matter,
1 When spare will permit, The Tribune Is always
glad lo print abort letters horn Ha friends bear
ing on current topics, but Its rule U that these
must be signed, for publication, by the writer t
real name: and the condition precedent to ae
icpUnco Is that all contributions shall be sub
ject to editorial revision,
SCnANTON, NOVIOMUEIt 7, 1909.
Tho man who, to gain an ofTlc.f,
uoulil stir tip class prejudice mul en
enurnBP !)la country's enemies woll de
The Result Nationally.
Bf V I2VJ2KY prompting; of jua
tlci und fulr play tins ud-
ministration of William Mo
Klnley was entitled to llio
nrngiiiticoiu Indorsement It lias re
ceived; and rlsht here we wish to go
on rociord with Iho assertion that 75
jior cent, of the citizens who voted for
llryan In their hearts believed so and
now that election Is over and party
tension Is cased will frankly say so.
When we look back upon the condi
tion? which prevailed at the time of
Major lIcKInley'H first election, ob
serve the steady Impiovement In busi
ness which followed, recognize the
fidelity with which campaign pledges
have been redeemed and appraise fair
ly the splendid achlfvemi'iits of execu
tive policy both In peace and in war
which have characterized the four
years of his tenure of the chief magis
tracy achievements which have lifted
thn prestige of the American nation
and people to the highest point in his
tory and brought about the tacit recog
nition by all foreign powers of Ameri
ca's primacy among the nations it Is
not surprising that the people have
conspicuously recorded their verdict of
approval; the surprise is that any man
or any" party should .havo reflected
upon their good sense by assuming a
The verdict is a demonstration of
American intelligence; it is a new
proof of the efficacy and adequacy of
democratic institutions. By it the
demagoglsm which would set class
against class, base hope of preferment
upon the engendering of fictitious dis
content and in a great emergency ot
national responsibility resulting from
unexpected consequences of a war for
humanity play the game of back
firing jjn American soldiers and of
coquetry with national armed foes for
the paltry purpose of gaining a tem
porary partisan advantage has been
rebuked most wholesomely. If the les
son of this rebuke shall be heeded by
the opposition party the chance will
arise for Honest divergence over lines
of future administrative policy. If not,
the rebuke will bs repeated as often
as provocation shall recur.
Until thousandd are educated In thin
Much, In brief, Is the outline. Mr.
Vrooman expects to enlist In tietmlC
of the movement the countenance and
aid of the American Federation of Lit.
bor as will as of Bonto men of benevo
lent tendencies and ample means who
are disposed to view In educational In
.mi Hut Ions the best monument to their
philanthropy. The Idea certainly Is
quite attractive nnd If executed
ertlclpntty and In good faith Its bene,
fits would be inestimable.
It has been demonstrated beyond
doubt that Governor Roosevelt Is n
bigger man than Chief of Police Dev-ory.
The Next Battle.
HILE IN tho country gen
erally people will he
glad, now that election
Is over, to give politics u
resl, there Is one place where It has
only Just begun. In Greater New Vork
an election for mayor Is near at hand
and that It will he a warm one Is clear
ly Indicated In tho following significant
paragraph conspicuously printed In
yesterday's New York Sun:
"In this great city there begins to
day a campaign that must wage for
twelve months to como with a consum
ing and destroying (Ire. lllehard Croker
has boon saying on his banners that
'we must remain a free people.' We
must. We must be free of Klchard
Croker! It I.y to be a campaign of tho
people for a now public life; for cleanli
ness, for decency and for honesty. Now
York must bo redeemed. Life Itself Is
not more necessary to us than the
honor of our cit'y, and today wo onter
upon the struggle for Its redemption.
Seth Low must be the next mayor of
Greater Now York!"
Those who remember the bitterness
with which tho Sun fought Low three
years ago will marvel at the complete
ness of Its reversal; but the fact. Is
that In this matter the Sun only fol
lows the better sentiment of the me
tropolis. The audacity of Tammany;
the unrelieved frankness of its alliance
with vice and Its brutally contemptu
ous disregard of morals and of ordin
ary obllgatl6ns of political decency are
forcing another revolution, which Seth
Low is peculiarly well fitted to lead.
Tlie changes in the Empire state's Re
publican politics since Theodore Roose
velt's entry into the executive chamber
at Albany have been many but in none
has the tendency toward the. substitu
tion of .high principle for mere personal
preferences been more marked than in
the Piatt organization's acceptance of
Seth Low as tho appropriate standard
bearer in a new battle for civic redemption.
TOLD OF WELL-KNOWN" MEN.
Three Stories of Lord Russell.
From the London .ovs.
One day, a legal correspondent
writes, before the late Lord Chief
.Justice toot: sick, be wits sitting In
court, when another barrister, leaning
ncroas tho benches, whlsrotcd, "Rus
sell, what's the extreme penalty for
bigamy',"' "Two mothers. In-law,"
Instantly lepllcd Russell.
On one occasion Lord Russell went
lo help tho Llbrerals In a ccrtnln cam
palgn. IIo began his speech of set
purpose with some very badly pro
nounced Hootch, After tho contusion
caused by his appaient blunder iiiul
subsided, Sir Charles Russell (ns hi
then was) said: "Gentlemen, I . do
not speak Scotch, but I vote Scotch."
Tremendous applause followed, where
upon Mir Charles proceeded, "and t
sometimes drink Scotch." With this
his hold on the audience was secured.
Although unrivalled In the art. of
cross-examination, on one occasion lm
was distinctly beaten by a witness.
"What Is your age?" he asked. "Is
It my age you arc asking?" replied
tho witness. "Yes, sir. Now, npcnlc
up nnd he exact." "And be exnet!
Well, of ull tho " "The court does
not dealro to hear any comments ot
yours. Tell the court your age."
"Well," said the man, "1 celebrated
my twelfth birthday last week
"Don't trltle with the court, and re
member you are on oath." "It's quite
true. I was born on Feb. 29, in leap
year, and my birthday only comes
one in four years."
of HUman Naftir?
Election in Scranton was
quiet as in a countty village.
i In one respect the American people
are unique. To tho verdict of tho
ballots they bow In frank submission.
Grumblers and grunters are in tho
minority the day after.
The Ruskln Hall Hovement.
ANEW Idea in the educational
life of our country is about
. to be introduced in what
is known as the Ruskin Hall
movement, an idea imported from Ox
ford university in England. It is based
ol) new lines of university extension
ujld contemplates the carrying of
lJigher culture to millions now by
poverty or other means debarred from
easy access to it.
The plan of work to be adopted by
the chief promoter, Mr. Walter Vroo
man, who has established headquarters
in the University building. Washing
ton equal e, New York city, includes
four distinct features. The first con
templates tho establishment in suit
able localities, one in each state, of
t evidence colleges, where, upon pay
ment of 5100, students may get a four
years' course of instruction, condi
tional upon performing certain man
ual labor for lha Der.cfit of the rol
lege, It Is proposed to have farms
nnd other Industries conducted In con-nr-ctlon
with these colleges, tho profits
from which are to help defray tho ex
penses. Each pupil Is to work on
these farms or In these Industries five
hours a day, just long enough, it is
calculated, to keep lilm in fit physical
Tho second feature consists In tho
establishment In the various cities of
branch colleges whero classes of,
tweatfllpr more woiklngmen may meet,
nftiTtJfcir, day's work is over, and get
IiishMctTon from special lectures at
3 a week. All study Is to be done
outside of working houis, Tho In
tent Is to use the best talent avail-
abje. hi.the selection of lecturers.
lllrU feature Is a correspondence
Jleslgned to furnish Instruction
snti? living In country districts
and not able to reach any or the
classes or schools. In its curriculum
Is to bo taught' fill the branches cov
ered by an ordinary scientific school
together with -juUlltlonal courses In
sociology and sc(iico of government.
Tho fee Is to be only 23 cents a month;
and when tttese mall pupils can come
together in small clubs, lectures will
bo furnished. at cost the hope being
eventually' to get volunteer lecturers,
men of means willing to give their
services freely as Is Uono by tho lec
turers in the PeopVe's college In
The last feature alms to secure In
course of time an endowment fund of
HOO.ddO fo bo given as loans to 1,000
young men whoeannot aford to pay
the ?100 each necessary o secure a
four years' courso In a residence col
lege. To Insure r repayment on this
loan it Is proposed to take a mort
gage on enoh borrower's 'character.
As he rerayat, the iiiorey Is to bo re
loaned and weed over ana oyer again
'i ' J Ml
A Cure for Lobby Evils.
-HE ONCOMING of tho time
I when at many state capl-
J tals lobbyists even more
than legislators will control
legislation renews attention to meth
ods of controlling the lobby and hold
ing It down to its proper place. Ex
port counsel for special interests ex
posed to harm through careless or ma
licious statutory enactments are a
necessary and in the main a beneficial
feature of state capitals; tho danger
lies In the abuse of fair privileges.
Discussion of this subjectby eminent
men has revealed no better starting
point toward halting crooked lobbyists
than the law enacted ten years ago in
Massachusetts and still In advantage
ous operation. Briefly, It requires the
sergeant-at-arms to' keep two dockets.
In one must be entered the names of
counsel employed to appear before
committees, as well as of those who
make a specialty of certain branches
of legislation; In the other, the names
of the agents employed for any gen
eral purpose In promoting or opposing
legislation; and in both must be given
the names find addresses of employers
and employed, the date and term nnd
character of the employment, and oth
er Important particulars. If a person
combines the work of counsel with
thut of agext, he must advertise tho
fact by appearing In both dockets.
Counsel and agents must llle, In con
nection with the entry of their names
in tho dockets, credentials for their
authority, signed with the full names
and business addresses of their em
ployers. Punishment for wrongdoing
by any counsel or agent involves dis
barment for at least three years, to
gether with a flne ot from $100 to
$1,000; and any employer who fulls to
meet any of the provisions of tho law,
Including a sworn statement of the
expenses Incurred by him In promoting
or opposing legislation, Is subject to a
This law, ot course, Is open to eva
sion but by affording an open sign of
legal approval to agents of legitimate
interests disposed to employ straight
forward means It has done nutcn to
elbow the crooks and boodlers out of
the way. Competent testimony holds
that it has Improved tho tone ot Hay
state legiblatlon and cleansed tho at
mospheie'Mirrounding the capital, it
ought to bo tried elsewhere,
High Class Music Under Difficulties.
Horn Musical Hntrrprlic.
Henri Wlonlawskl, tho famous violin
ist, whom soino older readers mav re
member having heard In this country,
while making a concert tour in Russia
with his brother Josef, a. noted oiano
player, had some peculiar experiences.
The two brothers were to play in a
largo town in the Interior and wished
to see the hall In which the concert
would take place. They were conduct
ed through mud and snow to a large
plank hut, which had been used for a
circus, and on entering found nothing
but bare walls.
"And is that where wo are to play?"
asked the brothers. "There are neither
benches nor seats."
"Oh, that makes no difference," re
plied the marshal. "With us every one
brings his own seat."
"Yes," answered the musicians, "but
what about lights? There is not a
lamp In tho room."
"That's nothing, either," replied their
companion. "With us every one brings
his own lantern."
Having learned tho simple manners
of the country the musicians asked how
tho-concert was to be advertised.
"Oh, that's easily arranged," an
swered the marshal. "It's true we have
no printing press, but I will have a
servant write the announcement in
large letters on the door, and it will
spread through the town fast enough."
A man soon appeared with a pound
of chalk and began writing on the
plank door. The brothers were some
what dejected, but the marshal assured
them that everything would be satis
factory. Toward evening all the inhabitants
were seen flocking to the place of per
formance, each carrying In one hand a
seat and In the other a lantern. Tho
house was crowded to overflowing. Tho
mother of the performers was present,
and, seeing the rain and snow dropping
through the roof on Henri whllo he
played, she was greatly disturbed.
"My poor son! He will take his
death of cold!" she murmured half
"Is that your son, little mother?"
asked a kindly old man sitting near
her, and, rising, he shouted to -the
young violinist: "Put your fur coat
on!" Then turning to the audience he
said: "His mother, who is sitting near
me, fears ho will take cold."
Other voices at once repeated tho
command: "Put on your fur coat!
Put on your fur coat!"
Henri paused and thanked them for
their permission, but added that ' he
could not play in a fur coat. "That
makes no difference!" cried the whole
audience. "Put it on! Put it on!" ,
He did as ho was bidden, and played
as best he could, so Incumbered.
Traveling men who havo been
shouting themselves hoarse In the in
terest of Mr, nrynn will please noto
that tho party whoso representative?
in congress voted to a mnn against the
effort to regulate trusts has been ren
dered harmless for another four years.
Some of the Filipinos who havo bet
on American elections will be given a
surprlsa when tho cable begins to
Tho fellows who claimed everything
nro now glad their claims were tiled
before tho voting began.
With the gentlest toau, no 1cm tlun jubilee
0( hlithesc joy, we heard him, and still lieu
Him dug on, with full volte, pme J rid rlt'jr,
Upllftlui,', at some classic melody
In iwectcst Iwrnk c( old ininstieUy;
Or sujiuiinj clnnliLo vpou tho ear,
ill ahy notes make all (ho alinooplicic
One blur ot Mrd and lieu anil lullabv,
lll.i tribute; I.iuttr In the faded bloom
Oi checiha of old, old mothers, and the (ill
Of giaelous dens In eyes long ry and dim
Anil hope in lotcr'a patlmaa lnld-U pcifumo
Oi woodland haunts, and meed exceeding all
'1'lie love ot little ililMren laurel him.
James WlilUorub Riley,
La Farge and His Coupe.
1'ioni the Philadelphia Saturdiy livening Poit.
John La Farge, tho artist, who lives
at Newport, has all the eccentricity
that Is said by the wise to be a part
of genius. The late Bishop Brooks, of
Boston, was very fond of La Fargo
nnd they were excellent friends, but
ho hit off the latter's eccentricity in a
Bishop Brooks and a friend were
coming out of a church where the
artist was decorating a great window.
The friend walked toward a handsome
coupe that was standing in the rain,
and said: "I suppose this Is your car
"Dear me, no," said the bishop, "I
always walk. That's a livery carriage
waiting for La Farge." .
"But La Farge," said the friend,
"has been working in the church all
day, and will continue to work until
"I know," said the bishop, his whim
sical smllo drawing tho corner of his
mouth; "but La Fargo can never work
very well unless he knows he's keeping
a cnrrlago waiting for hint somewhere,"
Governor Thayer's Joke on Bryan.
1'ioin Iho Cleveland Pic.
Ex. Governor Thayer of Nebraska
participated In what W. J. Bryan
thinks Is tho best joke on himself In
Bryan took an active part In tho
campaign In which Governor Thayer
was elected, ns a Republican, by about
20,000 plurality. He made fifty speech
es against Thayer. Consequently,
after the election, Bryan was not cer
tain Just how Governor Thayer felt
At n St. Patrick's Day celebration
In Lincoln Governor Thayer was rput
down for an oration, Governor Thayer
did not havo a printed programme,
und depended urinn tho secretary of
a idfc organization to tell him the
parts as they enme.
Tho programme was varied, there
being speeches, recitations and songs.
When Bryan's number was reached
tho secretary leaned over nnd whis
pered in Governor Thayer's ear "W.
Governor Thuyer iiroso and Bryan
advanced toward him. Tho former
seemed most cordial, and it pleased
Bryan to think that the Governor was
not harboring any malice beenpso of
those campaign speeches made against
lilm. Governor Thayer fahook Bryan's
hand wnrmely, as he asked, softly:
"Do you sing or speak?"
His Anxioty Relievedr
RllV, TIIAIUir.U.S A. flNIVKbY, rector of M.
Chrynostonu' Kpl.icopat church, Is dignified
m a minister, but ns a man he Is' rcconlzeit as
good fcllou', and this trait has brought many
joung Korthsidcrs Into his church on Dearborn
lucmie. Perhaps It wm his good fcllunfthlp
which made the folowlug atoiy, which he telta
hlnuolt, possible, relates tho Chicago Times
Herald. Some time ago Mr. Snitely took a dip en cue
of the big stcamcra through the lakes. Naturally
Interested In everything that was taking place
on board the uvscl, he sought the acquaintance
of the eiew. ills advances, however, did not
meet with n cordial resiwnsc, and one ilty he
epoke to the captain about It,
"ts it hue,' he aaked, "that e. clergyman Is
unpopular on board a ship because he I.s ti p.
posed to bring storms?"
"Yes," replied the master of the steamer, "a
sky pilot always brings bad luck."
"That's strange," continued ilr. Sntvely. "I've
traveled a good deal on the water and have
never been through a severe storm, though i
have often vvxntetl to ace on, How Uo oil
iicrount for thntt"
Th captain looked the (.leaymnn in I he (.tee
for a moment, slapped his thighs heartily, and
then laughed . ,
"By Jove," he cried out, "that explains it
"I never thought jou were much of a mlnNlcr,
anyhow, and now I'm sure you arc not."
Why They Spared Him.
I lKUTErfANT CObONEb POTTKIl, of General
" Mori It's staff, took a brave part In the cap
ture of Manila, relates the Saturday Kvenlng
Post. Prom the place of landing near the bay
to the inner city the soldiers were obliged to
march thiough, the Spanish and native lines, end
although hostilities had not yet broken cut be
tween the natives nnd the Americans, battle was
expeotcd every moment. But Potter marched
through the lines about 100 yards ahead ot the
general nnd his men and entered the city alone to
deliver his message. Every one expected him
to be assassinated, but when his comrades
reached the headquarters arranged for them
they found him safe nnd very much amused.
"What' the matter?" they asked.
"t met some native otllceiV ho said, "whom
I expected to challenge me or shoot me, anil
I met tome Spaniards and halt-breeds, and they
all asked me the same questions. What do you
think they were?"
"How tall I was, and t told them 'Bit feet
seven odd inches,' although I think t am a btt
taller. Then they asked if all my people were aj
tall, and I aald 'Ye,' and then they asked,
'Why are you so tail?" I replied: Tlecavisc
we can't grow any taller.' "
How He Knew His "White Folks."
rt 2"i5 of the old-time southern negroes went to
Boston to make his fortune.
After a week of walking up and down he
found himself penniless, and no work In sight,
Then he went from house to home:
'V.t jou please, sub," he began, when his
ring at the front door was aiuvvcicd, "can't
jou give a po" culhid man work ter do, or
someplu' ter cat?"
And the polite answer invariably was, "N'e,
mister, very sorry, but have nothing fot you."
Everyone who answered his ring addressed
him as "Mr.," but shut their doors and beaits
Finally, he rang, the bell at a brown-stone
A gentleman appeared and the old man began:
"Boss, I is starvin.' Can't you gimme some
"You darned, black, kinky-headed rascal!"
exclaimed the gentleman. "How daic you ring
the bell at my front door? Oo round the back
yard way to the kilchen, and the cook'll give
you something you black ."
Hut just there the old man fell on his knees,
"Thank do Lawd, I foun' my own white
folks at InsT Thank de Lawd, I foun 'cm.
I foun' 'em!" Atlanta Constitution.
The Desire Was Mutual.
p HH ONLY marital dimculty that Victor Ibr.
1 bert, the composer and director, and Mrs.
Herbert ever had occurred, according to Mrs.
Herbert, during their honeymoon, while cross
ing the Atlantic relates the Saturday Kvenlng
To-t. It was brought about by seasickress. Tho
composer was sick, and Mrs. Herbert was also
ill. Their illness look the form ot intense ir
ritability and morbid dcnsitiveness. Each move
ment of the ship produced n groan from them,
and each nolt.o on board thn vessel an indignant
protest. They tried to sympathize with each
other, but their voices lacked slnceiily.
At the end of the third day the composer,
alter recovering from a. lurch or the vessel, said:
"Pear, I have one favor to aL. Don't speak
to me again on board this ship tintil we reach
shore, or I will thiovv mjsell ovcrboaid."
"My dear," answered Mrs. Herbert, with her
fliot sigh of relief since embaiking, "thank you;
I've been wanting to ak you that same favor
no self all day."
Riley's Story of the Twins.
Q IJVKlt HEHKOItD repeats with great delight
a story James Whitcomb ltiley tells about
twins, relates the Washington Post. Theso par
ticular twins live near Mr. Itilcy out in In
dianapolis. Once not very long ago one of
them was naughty, and to punish her the
mother made her stay indoors all day. To add
a keener edge to her disgrace, tavors were show.
ercd on her sister. Sister was dressed up In
her very best. Sister was given a new parasol,
and went prancing proudly up and down the
front walk in the greatest glee. Presently one
of the neighbors came by, and paused at the
gate to speak ts the child.
"You're one of the Biovvn twins, aren't you?"
asked the neighbor.
"Ycs'm," answered the lltt.le gill.
"Which twin aro jou?" the neighbor in
quired. The child gave her skirts a pioud tos-t.
"Oh," said she, complacently, "I'm the good
Utile twin that's out walking."
Ing la South Africa a alory Is told by tlm
Westminster (latrtte. Shortly before he Marled
tor the Soudan last jcar he waa met on a country
road bear Klddrlc an old tinker, a chararler In
his way, whom he bad known imattv all bis
life. Said the Itinerant! "Kb, laird, I bear
)ere gaun nil tae wars mice malr. Whan wnll
yu.e'er get yer fill o' fetchln'?" Tho officer
smiled, but made no leply. The linker went
rini "I'm thlnkln1 that'll be never, lattdl I'm
'1st tlm saino mjscl', alrj I can ne'er get ma
fill-but It' no feehtln', ll' whusky." The
laird took the hint.
TOLD BY THB STARS.
Dally Horoscope Drawn by AJacehua,
Tha Tribune Aatrologar.
Astrolabe cast: 1,01 a. m., for Wednesday, Nov. 7,
A child born on this day will notice Hut n
traitor always hales hlmselt on the morning after
The sincerity of the wag of the dog's tall can
seldom be quest loned except at feeding time.
The man who accuses hlmsclt generally de
sires you ta frame an excuse for bis bad conduct.
That paramount issue has a very tired feeling.
The O, O. P. elephant is able to take his baled
And the weather also (ulftltctl Us promlaea.
Do not Judgo ever) thing by the opinion ol the
professional crlllc. His liver in usually out
RIFTS FROM THE CLOUDS.
colonies run up the Anglo-Saxean total nearly
11,000,000 more, so that the lour great Powers,
not only of Knropo but ol the world, are, In or
der of their numbers, ltuisla, United 8tates, Cler.
many and the United Kingdom ot Great Hrltaln
ond helaml. As this Anglo-Saxon and Celtic
Kingdom with the United States only totaled up
a Utile over SO.OOO.OOi) In 1800, while they now
together, according lo Sir Itobcrt (llffen, number
130,000,000, equaling Russia's hordes anil repre
senting In vvcillb, education and civllltatlon an
Incomparably higher level, It is oiy to see how
the ao-callcl Anglo-American alliance ol blood
and race, II not of politics, leads the world in
the way of rcsouvica as world powers.
NUBS OF KNOWLEDGE.
Would Enjoy the Opportunity.
MpKIVATn" .10IIN AIXF.NT, of Mississippi, has
deservedly acquired and biilllantly sus
tained the reputation of being tho wit ol the
House, aays the St. Louis Pcpubllc. While on
especially good terms with himself some nights
ago he told this little talc iu a very sad tone
"When you speak alout your dead meinbeis,"
he aald, "It icminds me of a speech I made once
against the extravagance of congressional fu
ticrals. That speech went down to Mississippi
and when I got back therp an old friend ol mine
came up to me and said: 'John, old fellow,
we read what you had to say about them con.
grcadonal funerals, und your constituents Indorse
every word ol It. By gad, you Just tell them
up theie in Washington that if you die you
don't ask them to bury you: you've got lota ol
f lends down here who'll take pleasure In doing
Turned the Tables.
WIIR.V Oils bkluner, tho actor, played an en
" gagement in tills city iccenlly, says the
Nashville Banner, his matinee performance of
"The Mars" was grared by the patronage ol a
bevy of the season's most attractive debutantes,
who enjoyed the stage business immensely, and
pronounced Mr. Skinner too lovely for any,
thing. After the curtain went down the man
ager escorted the debutantes back on the 6tage,
wheie they met and conversed with the actor.
"We enjoyed evciything very much." wid one
lair lady, "but, do yon know, Mr. f.Uhner, we
could warrely hear a word )ou said?"
"Now-, that's reitainly strange," ie-pond"d the
uctor, "I could hear, everything vou ladies
One on the House,
. N KAoT UNO tlergjman tells jl moving tale
A ol innocence, wj-s tho London Olobe. A
frail little gill came into a publio house jvlth a
Jug to fetch her parents hall a pint. When the
Jug nu filled she nervously put down two half
pennies on the counter and made lor the door.
The baiman, though ho lurdly liked lo frighten
(he poor Utile thing, called after her Iu a gentle
"You'le u halfpenny shod."
"Xo, you're a halfpenny shoit," khe answered
Had a Kindred Feeling.
f N CONNECTION with the late General Watuh.
ope's devotion to. his profession he bad been
wounded four times, thrice severely, before go-
A Miss and Xias.
Though a kiss be a-mlss
She who misses the kisiea
As Miss without kiss
May miss being a Mrs.
And he who a-mlss
Thinks both misses and kisrs
Will miss Miss and kiss
And the kisses of Mrs.
Her Startling Remark.
"I wlh I were jon star." "Bo de I," she
returned promptly, heroically swallowing a yawn.
"And why, dear one?" ho asked Impulsively.
"Why do you wish I were yon brilliant orb?"
"Because," she replied, in cold, matter-of-fact
tones, "because yon billllant orb is Just 11,
700,071 miles away."'
And he faded silently out like a mist before
a summer sun. London Answers.
Xatle nnd the Telephone.
"Anyone call or ask for mo by telephone while
I was out, Katie?" asked the mistress.
"indade they did, mum. The box jingled and
a lady wld a voice like a coffee mill says 'Del
lot' and I says: 'Hello yourself.' and she says,
'Who is this?' and I says, 'None of yer bust
nes. And she says, 'Is Aunt Mary there?'
And I told her she'd better ask a policeman,
and she foired Eumthin' in my car, and I dared
her to show the ugly mug of her back ol our
barn and she said nulln.' I'll tall: In that ma
chine no more, mum." Detroit Free Press.
Johnny's current history: The teacher asked
the scholars to write a sentence in which tne
word "chaste" was used. Johnny Wise, who
keeps posted on current events, wrote: "Aguin
aldo is the most chaste man there Is." Balti
From Babyhood to Boyhood.
T saw a sweet young mother stand
Where snow had drifted o'er the land,
A babe was lying on her orcast.
Its fragile form
Against herself she fondly pressed
To keep it warm.
In later years I passed oncei more
And saw her at the cottage door;
A boy was lying on her knee.
Her look was grim.
And, suffering Joshua ! how she
Was warming him!
One day beioro the late Lord ltussell was ele
vated to the bench, he was sitting In court,
when another barrister, leaning across the
benches during the hearing ol a trial for big
amy, whispered: "Russell, what is the extreme
penalty for bigamy?" "Two mothers-in-law,"
instantly replied Russell.
W. S. Cilbert, meeting the editor of Punch
one day, remarked ns he was leaving him: "By
u.c by, Burnand, I suppose a great number of
funny stories aro sent into jour office?" "Oh,
yes," said Mr. Bumard. "thousands." "Then,
my dear fellow, why don't j-ou publish them?"
replied Mr. Gilbert, as he put out his band to
He Had Been Caught.
Willie (glancing up from his book) Pa, what
is a "man-trap?"
- Pa Well, my son, th emost effective man-trap
I know ol is an old-fashioned locking chair in a
dark room. Philadelphia Press.
Who Could It Have BeenP
Angrj- Politician See here! I've a good no
tion to havo j-ou arrested for libel. What do
j-ou mean by picturing me as j-ou have?
Cnrtonist But tho picture'looks like you.
Angry Politician I know it docs! I know it
docsl But do I look like a man who likes to look
liko liimselff Baltimoru American.
Abj ulnki has a telephone line 300 mile long
connecting the capital ond the Important city,
it was constructed by a Kranco-Russlan company.
Queen Victoria never reads any document or
letters, cxicpt from her Immediate family, un
til tiny have llrjt been looked over by her tee.
ntary, who has charge of the royal correrpond
ence. Malo Is tho principal Drop grown In Queens
laud, and also forms one of tho most Important
products ol New South Wales, but the climate
ol the other southern colonics is not suited lo
Government bouso, Cape Town, the offlcUl
residence ol Sir Alfred Mllner, Is a very unpre
tentious looking old itnicture, strongly contrast
ing with the parliament house and several other
Una publie buildings In the capital of Cape
The regalia worn by Washington as a Mason
Is owned In Ooodland, Kan. It consists of an
apron and baldric and is the property of J. T.
Smitli. lie inherited it from an ancestor, to
whom It was given by John Robin MaeUonald.
More people over 100 years old aro found In
mild climates than in the higher altitudes. Ac
cording to the last census ol the German empire,
ot a population oi 65,000,000 only seventy-eight
havo passed tho hundredth j-eor. France, with
a population ot 40,000,000 has 213 centenarians.
Minnesota Is tho greatest ol all the wheat
stales. Last yea her wheat fields covered near
!y 5,000,000 acres, and she grow upward ol 78,
000,000 bushels more than twice the entire pre
ductlon of the continent ol Australia, nnd more
than that of Great Britain and Ireland.
The latest available statistics of the operation
of the postal savings sj-stcm in France was 1803,
when 2,3X,000 accounts were handled, and 3 per
cent, .was paid on $143,000,000, beside leaving
a profit of $170,000. The management cost 0.45
per cent, ol the mean amount of deposit.
Paris has the largest library in the world, it
contains upward ot 2,000,000 printed books and
100,000 manuscript. The British Museum con
tains about l.Wm.OOO volumes, and the Imperial
Library at St. Petersburg about the samo num
ber. These are the largest libraries In the world.
A i.rcpr.Kil to hold on international exhibition
In Kydnej-, New South W., in 1001 wao made
recently by the premier, in order to give mem
bers of the lower chamber an opportunity'of dis
cussing the nu'ter. After a good deal ot dis
cussion the motion to hold such an exhibition
In that jenr was defeated by a vote oi 41 to 1L
Man wants but little here below,
And soon he'll want no morp.
But while he's here he wants the best;
That's wiry ha likes our store.
Shoes for all the walks of life.
Shoes for all scisons of the j-ear for cveij
member ol the family.
Ladles, in, our Olovc-flltlng Melba $3 Shoes
wish to live forever, they arc so delightful.
Shoes for all the walks ol life.
Laces today occupy a. more
important part in Dress
Trimmings than ever before
needless to say that our
stock was never so com
plete as now comprising
the very newest and choicest
things in Laces by the yard
as well as all-overs.
Jackets, Boleros, Collars,
Fichus Ties, etc., in real hand
made Irish, Russian, Arabian
Cluny, Point Venice and
Duchess Lace- in fact all the
latest and most fashionable
things that are now aud will
be in demand for the season's
A few Extra Choice Marie
Antoinette's in Applique Re
naissance; entirely new and
Beautiful assortment of
lace gauntlets and gauntlet
Elegant line of all-overs,
in Gold Effects and Gold
One Way of Looking at It.
"It is said that the Czar of Russia dislikes
moie than anything to speak In public,"
"That a nice tribute to his wife."
"He probably gets a chance to saj- all he
wants to at home." Chicago Timcs-Ifcrald.
A Deserved Tribute.
"Von have ii wonderfully quick ejp for the
dctcitiou of weakness in an opponent1 logic,"
"A quick I," answered the campaign orator
who was thinking of other things. "Oh ,ves. I
guess I ran tiovvd mine first person singula is
into one sentence th.iu any other man in the
builncos." Washington Star.
The Grocer's Way.
Cotagcr 1 ordeied two deseu eggs ,vrleiday,
Mr, Crackers, and paid for them, but jou only
Mr, Crackers Wa-al, jou sec, for of 'em was
bad, aud I knowed you wouldn't keer for 'em.
LIVING AND DYING NATIONS.
& Cora me!!
Now open for business at
our new store, 132 Wyo
We are proud of our store
now, and feel justified in
doing a little talking, but we
prefer to have our friends do
the talking for us,
A cordial invitation is ex
tended toxall to call and see us.
MERCEREAU & GONNELL
Jewelers and Silversmiths.
If you haven't the proper offloe sup
plies. Come in and give us a trial,
We have the largest and most com
plete line of office supplies In North
If It's a good thing-, wo have it. We
make a specialty of vlsltlnc carda and
Stationers ;ind Engravers,
Hotel Jermyn Building.
Front the Philadelphia 1'ie.s.
I.oia Salishuiy made a very acute lemlrk when
ho Mas ilUcus-dng the Kuiopean situation during
the f-panlsh-American Wai, In sajlug that tin
Powers had to ictognlio that (eitaln uatlsns
were "living" and oilier "dying" nations. At,
ho indicated his belief that the I'nilnl Stales
was very niuih alive ami Syalu moribund he
angered the Iberians to an unusual ilegiee,
'Iho latest population figures bear this out iu
a very telling way, In I500 the gieal Powers
of the Vetein vvoild were grouped as follows!
Russia , ss.uo.rxm
' -fii fl 4M TIM WBfr
United Kingdom ,,,.
Ignoring the biiulkr nations ami taking what
are the four great Povwis of Kuiope, HivmUi,
Ocnuany, France and tho (Jutted Klngduin, in
1500 the United States was a very poor fifth,
whllo today it iuiU tciund, the puseuc pun
latlons running as follows:
Russia , 110,896,0.!$
Uliuuf aiuitb ,,, ,
On many . . . ,
(treat Britain ,,,,,
Italy ., .
Though these statistics represent (irt.it Hrltaln
as below Austria-Hungary, It place la reany
fourth, since Its citizens who aro living In the
I thank there must be soBtethinc iii those Ripans Tabules vre ice advertised
so much, Thc mast be good tor something.
Whet makes yon think to ?
You know they hew a Mack, jellcw and red poiter on all the stations of the
Brooklyn Elevated R.R. representing a white-haired old gentleman who in the
firial place is tyinjon area! necktie that represents morning: In the next place
he is eating a piece of mince pie at a lunch counter that's noon : "and, finally,
he appears with a night-cap on evidently bed-time. It is the most con.
sptcuoas poster on ihe stations, and last night two well-dressed nentlemen
stood looking at one of them and I overheard what they said.
At what stal ion was this?
At Lexini'tom and Sumner Avenaea. One of them said that poster nukes
me ljrogh I The other one said wiry Then the first one taid the absurdity
ol a medicine making an old man iuch as that poster depicts look so happy at
all times of the day and night. Then the other roan, tapping him on the
shoulder, said, why, bless your heart, I have taken Ripniu Tabules foe two
years and I can verify the old man's silent testimony. Then ho tool; a little
vial out of his pocket and said to the other man, if you will use theie accord
ing to directions, you will be more smiling than this old man when you
twine iu uc no age.
IMi t jln racket ooal
,is aurin xaieua la apatwr oar ton driltout
r ipUaul la tiAM Vah biA --.
ratorfat-VOB nrMCUlM. fkiat law.uri?si avort iai IniaandAH foetba .u.. .n. Tu u.nnnMiui rH.zF79
Coarur, Me. W Snc Mmt,ln ferk-or a tfnglieimn ttaaTuauuurvul In iwut jor ifia cuiuT