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THE C1 ANTON TlUBUJSE-SATUliDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 1899.
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Social"?.
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The society event of this week will
be the nppenraiice of Mr. Marsha'!
Darruch on Thursday night In Shake
speareon recitals at St. Luke's VarN'i
hall. Ho has been heard by some ot
the most distinguished audiences tn
the country and his talent 1 such that
he was engaged to open and close the
Yale University course. Among the
patronesses are the following: Mrs.
H. M. Holes, Mrs. George I'. Smith,
Mrs. T. H. Wntklns, Mrs. A. M. D-ck-cr,
Mrs. K. V. Fuller, Mrs. lingers Is
rael, Mrs. O. dull. Dlmmlck, .Mrs, Wil
liam Connell, Mrs. Henry Relln. Ji..
Mrs. K. H. Hippie, Mrs. C. V). Klmpscn,
Mrs. John Jermyn, Mrs. I.. . Oakford,
Mr?. James Archbald, Mrs. A. R. Weir
Mrs. 11. J. Anderson, Mrs. I.. li. Rowcll,
Mrs. A. II. Storrs, Mrs. J. A. Scran
ton, Mrs. K. N. Wlllard. Mrs. 13. K.
Dlmmlck, Miss Anna K. Sanderson,
Miss Jennie Reynolds, Mr. Everett
Warren, Mrs. O. L.. Dickson, Mrs. II.
TV. Kingsbury, Mrs. It. M. Rerunton.
Mrs. Q. D. Jermyn, Mrs. A. R. Phelps,
Mrs. J. L. Connell, Mrs. V. T. Smith.
Mrs. C. II. Welles, Mrs. J. A. Pries.
Mrs. E. P. Kingsbury, Mrs. R .T. Fost
er, Mrs. II. B. Ware, Mrs. W. P. Hall
stead, Mrs. L. W. Morss, Mrs. Edward
Jones, Mrs. X. G. RobcrUun, Mrs. Al
fred Hand, Mrs. C. S. Weston, Mrs.
W. II. Storrs, Mrs. F. E. Piatt, Mrs.
A. J. Connell, Mrs. D. E. Taylor, Mrs.
I,. A. Watrcs, Mrs. W. II. Pierce, Mrs.
A. E. Connell, Mrs. N. E. Rice. MUs
Emcllno K. Richmond, Mrs. P. M.
Spencer, Mrs. J. W. Peck, Mrs. James
Mott, Mrs. C. B. Penman, Mrs. It. J.
Bennell. Mrs. T. E. Jones, Mrs. T. C.
Von Storeh. Mrs. I. J. Lansing. Mrs. W.
IT. Gearhnrt. Mrs. F. E. Ncttlctim. Mrs.
George Sanderson, Mrs. Theodore Sur
reth, Mrs. M. H. Holgate, Mrs. C. W.
Roberts, Mrs. W. J. Hand. Mrs. 13. V..
Jermyn, Mrs. F. D. Brewster, Mrs. II.
A. Llndabury, Mrs. W. D. Boyer, Mrs.
13. F. Chamberlln, Mrs. C. II. Llndsiy,
Mrs. G. M. Ilallstead, Mrs. F. M. Vand
llng, Mrs. W. A. Connell, Mrs. C. B.
Dernian, Mrs. Charles Schlager, Mrs.
G. J. Rerlinghoff, Mrs. Theodore G.
Wolfe, Mrs. Watson, hc ushers w".l
be Messrs. II. B. Merrill, E. B. Jer
myn, W. M. Dickson and Franklin
Hcnshaw.
This week Is affording much pleas
ure to theater-goers. Seldom have do
many satisfactory performances been
crowded Into so short a space. The
Katherlno Robcr company Is without
doubt tho most pleasing repertoire
combination seen in this city for year's.
Indeed so superior is it that tho local
management endeavored to secure the
company for next week also. The
star attraction was the exquisite pro
duction of Madame Sans Gone.
May Irwin played on Thursday night
to one of the largest houses ever sen
In tho Lyceum, and there is tho same
prospect for Otis Harlan tonight. Nesrt
Thursday night Frohman's company
will be seen in "Phroso," which made
such a hit in New York: Louis Mor
rison In Frederick tho Great on tho two
succeeding 'nights, while on the fourth
Tim Murphy,,who always attracts such
great houses, will be here in "Tho Car
pet Bagger."
Scranton nnd Wilkes-Barre are
favorite places for the presentation of
new works by certain authors, wheth
er it Is a case of "trying it on the dn?"
must be left to the individual Judg
ment to determine. At any rate both
Frederick Hoyt and Victor Herbert
have selected these cities for tho Initial
presentation of some of their most fam
ous productions. It Is pleasant to an
nounce that Frank Daniels will present
Victor Herbert 's now opera, "Th.
Ameer" In this city Oct. 9 for its
first performance.
Mrs. Kendal, the model English act
ress, who arrived on the Teutonic
Thursday, thought tho "Illumination
of Welcomo" at quarantine was In her
Determined to Maintain
Our Well-Known Reputation
for Keeping the Largest Assortment of
Fin
Dress
We arc showing a particularly fine assortment of
Tailor Suitings, Cheviots, Serges, Tweeds, Camel's Hair,
Venetians, Zebaliues. Etc., 50c to $2 per yard.
Black Crepons, high lustre, mohair top, over fifty
different designs, all new, 95c to $3.50 per yard.
Double-Faced Plaid Black Shirtings, greys, Ox
fords, browns, blues, etc. Compare line of styles aud pi ices.
Polka Spot French Flannels, very desirable.
Golf Cloakings, heavy, double-faced, in exclusive
new patterns.
Taffeta Silks that will wear, plain and changeable,
very large range of new colors, violet, helio, plum, berry,
cerese, rusaet, dahlia, poppy, pumpkin, etc.
Black Taffeta Silks, Cheney Bros, and Haskell's
justly celebrated goods, peau de soie, Duchess, satins, Mar
veliux, satin luxor, etc.
MEARS&HAGEN
415417 Lackawanna Ave
IJeraxmat
honor, until she was told that Dewey
was a trllle ahead of her In fame at,
tho present moment.
Mr. nnd Mrs. .T. L. Connell,' Br. and
Mrs J. S. McAnulty, Mr. and Mrs.
O. It. cv.nnell nnd Mr. C. W. fulton
are in 3'cw York. Yesterday they
saw the naval parade from the yacht
of a friend of Mr. J. L. Connell. who
with other members of tho party had
been guests of the day on board.
Mr. Joseph W. Plekson ongagfd a
linuaf on lilvcrslde Drive yesterday,
where be with n party of friends wit
ncs?d tho t'aval parade. The renting
of this establishment cost $300 for tho
day.
La!t night the governors cf the
Country Club had the customary busi
ness meeting and dinner. Those pres
ent wore: Mr. nnd Mrs. T. H. Wat
kins, Mr. nnd Mrs. W. W. Scranton.
Mr. and Mr-J. N. G. Robertson, Miss
Belln, Mr A. G. Hunt.
At the Country club today the much
talked of match between Wllkes-Barre
and Scranton will be played. The
players have not yet been selected, but
tho Scranton team will be chosen from
the following: J. II. Brooks. Claude
Wnlker, James Blair, Jr., H. C. Shafcr,
W. J. Torrey, T. R. Brooks, F. C. Full
er, L. La Motto.
The Wllkes-Barre team will probably
Include some of tho following: Messrs.
Woodruff, Johnson, Turner, Hlllman,
Chase, Davis, Farnham, Price. Wheat
on, Harding. The course is In splen
did condition and a most Interesting
match is expected. It will begin at
2 o'clock and no other playing will take
place during the time it is in progress.
The ladles will servo tea during the
afternoon, Mrs. 3 G. Robertson and
Mrs. Shephard Ayrcs being In charge.
Mrs. William Connell will entertain
the delegates the Women's Foreign
Missionary convention on Thursday at
a reception at her home In Vino street.
Mr. and Mrs. B. E. Watson enter
tained at dinner last evening.
Much interest Is felt in tho art lec
tures to bo given at St. Luke's Paris
hall in November.
Mr. and Mp. W. D. Kennedy gave
a dinner Thursday evening in honor of
their' son. Dr. T.. n. Tnnedy, whore
among tho guests were Dr. Corser,
Dr. Carnaclmn and Dr. F. Whitney
Davis.
Sir. T. Cushing Jonei, the talented
son of Mr. nnd Mrs. S. T. Jouei, is
lying at death's door in tho Adlron
dacks, where ho went some weeks ago
In hopes that tho lung disorder from
which he has been suffering since an
attack of the grip last sprlnc. might
be arrested. His sister. Miss Edith
Jones, left Thursday to remain with
lilm.
Movements of People
Mr. La Motto Belln Is in New York.
Mr. Hugh Archbald is in New York.
Mrs. C. E. Burr is In riainllcld, N. J.
Mr. and Mrs. C. E. Salmon are In Port
JlTVlS.
Dr. II. B. Ware has returned from Phil
adelphia, Dr. Anna Clarko is visiting friends In
Allentown.
Mr. and Mrs. C. W. Matthews are In
r'ew York.
Mr. nnd Mrs. Walter Dickson nro in
New York.
Mrs, J. A. Robertson is visiting friends
In New York.
Mrs. S. M. Nash visited friends in Dal
ton this week.
Miss Lizzie Matthews is visiting friends
in Jersey City.
Miss Bessie Hrnwood Is visiting friends
in New York city.
Mr. Walter Matthews and family havo
returned fiom their country place at
darks' Green.
II. 1'. Llttlo has removed from Boston
to CJulncy nvcnuo,
Mr. It. J. Foster will take a western
Journey next week.
Mrs Mary Brock and Mrs. Jcnnla Klntz
are In Tunkhnnnock.
Mr. W. A. Colcmnn was In Now Mexico
for tho past fortnight.
Mr, Alex. Craig and family nro guests
of friends In New York.
Mr. Sidney Williams, of Jefferson avo
niiiv Is in New York city.
Mrs. Ocorco P. Dickson has been vis
iting In Morrlstown, N. J.
Mrs. L. V. Bossier Is 111 at her sum
mer home at Ocean Grove.
Mr. B. II. Florcy, of San Francisco, Is
visiting relatives In this city.
Mr. C. 1). Simpson nnd family have
been In New York this week.
Mrs. C. W. Pultnn nnd son will return
from tho Adirondack:! next week.
W. Whlttnkcr, of Franklin avenue, has
gont to Brooklyn, N. Y., to reside.
Mr. and Mrs. 11. M. Morrison, North
Main avenue, aro In Cloveland, O.
Uev. 11. F. Hammond, of Olyphant, Is
spending a few days In New York.
Misses Charlotte and Helen Hand nro
visiting friends In New York city.
.Miss Cornelia Galnin hns returned to
Miss Oriilinm's school In Now York.
S. J. Owens, of North Main avenue, has
gone to SuUthninn county to reside.
Mrs. Thomas Clark niul daughter, of
llnnesdnle, was In ho city yesterday.
Judge nnd Mrs. Alfred Hand will go to
New York on Mntulny for a few days.
Miss Jennie Hauling-, of Church ave
nue, Is the guest of North End friends.
U. II. Coston, es(.. has returned from
a trip abroad, much bone flted In health.
Attorney Frank J. McAndrew left yes
terday for Denver to locato permanently.
Mrs. (1. W. Phillips, who spent the sum
mer at Brandt, was In the city this week.
Mrs. .lumen P. Dickson and Miss DIcK
son will spend tho next fortnight In Bos
tun. Miss Helen Deen, of Danville, Is the
guest of Miss Sprngue, on Qulncy ave
nue. Mls- Jessie Dlmmlck will return to
hoarding school in Washington, D. O ,
todny.
Miss Mabel Carpenter, of Ordell, 111., is
visiting Mrs. W. G. Fassold, on Capotlso
avenue.
Dr. Floyd Fredcrlcl. of Wyoming ave
nue, has returned from Philadelphia and
Atlantic Pity.
Mr. nnd Mn. John W. Fltglbbon are
homo from their wedding tour and will
reside on Piatt place.
Colonel George Sanderson and Mr. T. 13.
Jones have returned lrom a trolley rldo
through New England.
Mr. and Mrs. John Gillespie nro enter
tnlnlmr, nt their homo on Oak street.
Miss Evans, of London, Knar.
Mr. W. J. Mullcn. ot the Lehigh Valley
railroad, accompanied by Mr. llruucr,
went to New York yesterday.
Philip J. Vetter, Jr., returned yesterday
to resume his studies at the Ilellovuo
Medical college, New Yoik city.
Dr. J. W. Coolidgp read u paper this
week at the State Homeopathic Medical
society meeting in Philadelphia.
Dr. Martha S. Evetltt has taken up her
reslilcnco on Adams avenue, to which
place sho has removed her oltlre.
Rev. Robert Bromfltt, of Luzerne coun
ty has been spending a few days of this
week visiting friends In tho Noith 13r.il.
Lluutennut Orton Jackson, of tho United
States navy. Is spending a short time
with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. E. S.
Jackson.
Tho Electric City Wheelmen gave a re
ception to Messrs. W. S. Mount nnd 13. G.
Peteis Tuesday evening as a farewell be
fore their departure for Joplln, Mo.
Professor C. '. Whlttcmore, choirmas
ter In the Providence Pr sbylcrlnn
church. Is visiting In Boston, Mass. Ho
Is accompanied, by Mrs. V. hlttemore.
The engagement Is announced of Mr.
William Morris, the widely known shoe
merchant of this city, to Miss Miriam H.
Prrtzfelder, ot Baltimore, Mil. They will
receive at the homo ot the young lady's
patents, 222s Eutaw place, Baltimore, on
Oct. 13.
Rev. Edward J. Melley. of St. John's
church, South Scranton: Rev. M. E. Ly
nott, of Jermyn; Rev. F. P. McNally. of
Georgetown, nnd Rev. Thomas Coffey, of
Carhondnle, spent yesterday nt Hassle
ton, as the guests of Rev. Father Phil
lips, of thut place. The gathering of nil
priests montlored was occasioned by the
twenty-fourth anniversary ot their ordi
nation to the priesthood.
! HER POINT OF VIEW
Sanitation is a great deal like ortho
doxy, which you know Is my doxy,
while heterodoxy Is some other per
son's doxy. The board of health rec
ord book Is u proof of this theory. It
Isn't our garbage barrel which offends
our nostrils. It Is our neighbor's. Our
old Rover, who barks at night, never
wakens us; It is the neighbor's cats or
the neighbor's chickens which make
our lives a burden. Our own method
of conducting sanitary measures Is al
ways correct. It Is other people's
plans which are at fault.
A lady mnde long nnd loud complaint
the other day to the board of health
because a neighbor used some unsav
ory kind of fertilizers on his lawn. The
people in thnt vicinity on all sides of
the complainant had been vexed for
years because she allowed her maid
to lllng the contents of waste baskets
down tin' back steps, where the win I
C'Hild blow them whTe It llsteth with
out regards to proprietary lights and
line fences.
Another resident of thin city
very prominently identified In a
most praiseworthy movement toward
better sanitation which surely Is ne:-d-ed,
lias a dairy place somewhere In th"
country, where the waste milk in I
the dish water from the washing of
bottles Is promptly turned Into :i
stream which was hitherto clear apd
beautiful, blessing nil tho valley n lo.n
which it flowed. Now it there & iin
thing on tho fnce of the earth wli.eh
smells worse than a dessictlnc es
tablishment or a glue factory It is
spoiled milk. That lovely, limpid
stream (that was) is now down itn
whole course an offense to oa'ih and
heaven. Its appearance Is only a tn
lle less disgusting than the odor, fo.
tho wnter looks suspiciously like the
milk which city customers have been
known to receive nt the bunds of wily
milkmen in times past, and In places
the surfuce of the stream Is a yollow
and greenish scum, from wh'ch every
self respecting cow turns wonrllj
aside with disgust in her big eyes.
Now polluting a stream Is worse than
throwing tin cans in somo vacant lot
and will bo decidedly more of n menace
to dwellers In tho vicinity. Defective
sewerage, cnreless methods In dispos
ing of garbage, untidy streo's and end
less other offenses against ''.-coney nnd
health aro common in this city. It Is
almost as dirty a town as Mi; reeKing
cities of China. Where else In civilisa
tion would It! bo nllowcd to threw bad
ilsh Into a gutter In front of a whole
sale house on tho chief strewn nnd
leave them there for days in tho most
hideous condition of putretactlir.'
This la done In Scranton. Where i Ire
would open sewers into vacant lots
bo permitted? This is seen In nn Im
portant residence portion of the city.
Hut thu remedy must lie In ludlv1 lual
effort. When every person takM tho
trouble to keep his own surrotmllnga
Immaculate and when by individual pr.
fort a concerted plan of attack la mad a
on Individual councllmon, then will to
a reform In this city. When ovary
person religiously refrains fro.n
throwing scraps of paper on tho streets
our city will begin to look respectable.
First each of us must cxpcrlenco a
personnl revival In our own mode, of
procedure and next wo must demand
of tho councilman 6f our ward that
they Insist on certain steps toward
a house-cleaning time In Scranton. Wo
can do It If wo will and it will bo a
long way better than to sit down and
groan about the filthy condLions ot
our neighbor's back yard.
Speaking of sanitary matters per
taining to water is a reminder of the
regulations regarding Lake Stanton,
which has been tho nearby resort all
summer of every one In tho commun
ity who enjoys beautiful .fcenery nnd
perfect ronds. Th5 other day the
owner of a lino hunting dog was walk
ing in the vicinity of tho UIo. Tho
dog npproached tho bank and a man
who stood there, evidently wIViout nu-
thoilty, stated that If tho n.:'m il went
to the water ho would printptb be
shot. Naturally, tho owner Bh'.od
away from that locality, but ho asked
tho protector of tho realm why rules
regarding tho lnko were n it posted
up for tho benefit of the unlntiated and
Incidentally wondered how It was that
a herd of cows was allowed to peace
fully ruminate at tho other side In
water up to their sides. Thoo queries
the man could not answer.
It Is so illincult to bo consis
tent nnd to possess a judicial
mind and it Is so much eaov to roii
demn other people's fallings. The man
who dally returns thanks because ho le
not us other men are, In turn Is him
self a shining example of what other
men don't wnnt to be. Tho woman
who Wonders how on earth her friend
can bring up her children like llttlo
savages, doesn't realize that her own
offspring probably eat with a greedi
ness bordering on beastlallty or swear
like mature pirates when they aro be
yond her hearing.
It was a local clergyman who
preached an Impassioned sermon
ngalnst the desecration of the Sabbath
nnd bewailed the growing popularity
of Sunday visiting and pleasure-seeking.
Rut one Sunday morning ho
closed his church and had no service
because some friends were coming
from abroad and ho wanted to meet
the Sunday morning train that brought
them to tho city.
Dear 'me! It's such a hard task o
regulate the community and ourselves,
too. I often wonder that wo don't
give up tho effort, but we never quite
relinquish tho struggle and such small
thanks as we do receive.
Saucy Hess.
MUSICAL NOTES.
Vladimir de I'achmatm has returned
once more to tho scene o his former
triumphs, New .York city, after an
absence of several years. Ho wlM re
appear on tho evenlnir of October 17
and afternoon of October 21. Vladimir
do I'uchmann has been very promi
nently before tho public recently In
connection with the attcmoted assas
sination of M. I.aborl, for the reason
that de Rachmnnn's former wife Is the
present Mine. Luhnil. The two chil
dren uf M. and Mine, de I'nchmann
are bfin2 educated In Paris at too
present time. His coming tour In this
country will be under the management
of Mr. Henry Wolfsohn.
II II II
Miss Katharine Timberman, the well
known teacher of vocal culture and
singing at tho Scranton Conservatory
of Music, has already enrolled several
new pupils whose volco.3 aro unusually
promising. As usual. Miss Timberman
will undoubtedly have a very busy
season.
I! II 'i
Thomas Wllllnms t?nor. of Wllk-.-s-
fiarre, gave two very lino rondit'ons
at the Pennington recital on Thursday
eevning.
!! "I II
The choir uf tho Plymouth Congrci
gatlonnl church on Jackson street, 'nn
Increased Its membership to about
forty.
II I! II
BIcKlnley's Oram! March, composed
b Roso Rrockway, of Geneva, Ohio,
is becoming a favorite.
I! II I!
Mr. David Hughes sang a binutlful
solo last Sunday evening at the Ply
mouth church, entitled "Kluoty and
Nino."
DEWEY AT WASHINGTON.
Tho Admiral Will Itecelve a Eouslng
Welcome at tao Capital..
When Admiral Dewey arrives at the
capltol next week, Washington will see
the largest gatheiing of people in tho
history of the city.
Nearly six hundred thousand people
will Jlock to Washington next Sunday
nnd Monthly to help pay honor to the
nation's Breast hero. In order to give
every person n rnro opportunity of vis
iting Washington and at the same time
witness the grand welcome which will
be given Dewey, the Central Railroad
of Now Jersey will Issue specinl excur
sion tickets to tha public on October
1st and 2nd to Washington nnd return
for $10.31. nnd good on or before Octo- i
ber nth, 1S0D. The Central railroad has :
ll.n olini'lflat ni,l lino, .n..,.. ... Hn..l. '
.- ..u .vo. .win huh .um&u iu ) unit
ington and every comfort possible will
be given the traveling public.
Left Over.
WliPcler "There's ono advantage In
marrying a widow."
Biker 'What's that?"
Wheeler "Slu et'i't-rally has her first
attempt's wheel on hand " Facli.
A Home Remedy for
In every homo there Is usually a
remedy upon which tho wholo family
depend In most households this rem
edy is Dr. Humphreys' Specific "77"
for Colds nnd Grip from the old folks
to the llttlo tots, they all take "77"
and with thu same result the first
dose restores the checked circulation
(indicated by a chill or shiver), starts
tho blood coursing through, tho veins
and so "breaks up" tho Cold. Always
carry a vial of "77," It fits the vest
pocket. A handy remedy is thu stitch
in time.
For snlo by all druggists, or sent on ro.
celpt of price, 20c. anil gl.fto.
Humphreys' Homeonathlu Medlelnn Cn..
Cor, William ,t John Sts New York.
JONAS LONG'S SONS. GRAND MILLINERY OPENING.
A Pointer for
Everywhere you go from now on the Jonas
Long's Sons Hats will stare at you
FASHION has started on her Autumn drive, and the most successful opening in the history of this
business lias been begun. Words of praise from countless friends on the beauty ot the show
here are appreciated. We are glad to know that efforts to serve you best meet approval. Milli
nery, Wraps and Suits have had a pleasant reception and they invite you again every day, to choose
from a stock that has no equal in these parts.
Concerning Our Shoe Department:
WE SHOW today more than one hundred styles of Women's, Men's and Children's Shoes
made up to our order in the biggest and best factories in the East. In no instance has quality
been sacrificed for price. You get the best here or none at all. Quantity alone regulates
price with us, and enables you to buy here for less money than in any other store.
Our $2.20 Shoe Would Be Cheap at $3.00.
Women's Fine Soolina Kid Button and Lace Shoes. There arc four hundred pairs in this collec
tion, which regular shoe stores would quote at $3.00. Our combined purchasing power enables us to
sell tltem at $2.20. Among them are: Box Calf with kangaroo tops, heavy soles. Kid, Button and
Lace, with queen cloth tops, slipper foxed; Kid, Button and Lace, slipper foxed, bull dog toe.
MCI in Women's Kid
3I.y Hutton and
Lace Shoes, mado up In tho
latest styles ot toe, kid and
patent leather tips, heel nnd
spring heel, sizes 2'i to 8;
prlco should bo Jl.'u.
No Other Book Store Like This One.
CONSTANT and ever-increasing crowds vent their approval of this book business. On every topic
we are at your service, if in desperation prices are cut in other stores, come here before you
buy: they'll be a notch lower for we will NOT be undersold. Another thing editions such
as you'll find here in standard literature are not on sale in other stores hereabouts. Exdusiveness and
price littleness travel together.
$1.00 Copyright
Books at
Sold in no other store, save in Wan
nmaker's, at this price. An elegant
bargain.
Hole are the titles:
t'holr Invisible Allen.
Adventures of Frain-ols Mitchell.
1'rlsnw r of Zemla Hope.
Peter Stirling Kuril.
I.ady nf ouallty Ilurnett.
I'luoso Hope.
The Celebrity-Churchill.
Lightning Rod Man
Interviews DeuJey
Mr. Kdltur.
Doer Sir: SecliiK by awl the news
papers that tile boding jernallsts Iz
lntervewlng Admiral Dooey I thawt
Ide duo likewise. Yeeis ago I use 1
be englncar on a kanal bote (2 boss
power) so If you llnd sum saler fraze
mlxt In the fntervew I hope you will
pardon them. 1 the site ov a bote brawt
back the old daze.
After unwlnden abowt a mile & a H
ov red tape, nt $17 per mile. 1 found
myself on bord the OUmpick & I nwlso
found nutuerus other Jernallsts wut"i
round 2 see tho Admiral when he kum
out ov biz boodwar. 1 ov the jernal
Ists nskt me what I waz doing & I told
him I waz going 2 Intervew the Ad
miral. He lafl't t'z sed "yule hav a nl"e
time watln till awl this bunch gets
threw with him." "Oh," sez I, "He
take me chantsez. I gess." lie smiled
& walkt away. I wated round a spel
& maid up my mind that Id hav 2 use
strategy or spend the hole day watln
2 see him. I desided on the former
corse. While standln round I notlst
that sovral salers had walkt up 2 the
sakred room, knocked & walkt In.
Now, sez I, it I can get a saler soot II
be O. K. So I went below & after a
llttlo dfplnmacy (aided by a 25 bill) I
selaired a soot. It waznt mutch 1 fit.
but It served my purpus. I walkt bold
ley up 2 the dore & give a cupple ov
good helthy knocks.
"Cum In," sed a timid volse. So in
I went. I found a nice lookln man
wearln a worried look & a soot ov pink
pajamas.
"Hale hoe! my hnrty," sez I.
"Kctchcd In a kamrn," he replied.
Then he added, "Who are you?"
"Never mind who I inn, Mr. Ad
miral," sez I: "youi don't no me, but I
wont hurt you; I alnt goln 2 ask you 2
a dinner party; I aint going 2 nsk you -1
a magazine nrtlkle, neether am I goin
2 ask you 2 kum 2 Klddersvllle nnd
mako a speech, tho yude get n grate
resepshun. What I want 2 due lz 2 hav
a nice little konfldenshal tawk. My
name lz Kidder; I am a lltonlng rod
agt by prnfeshun & duo a llttlo rltelng
on tho side 4 a respecktablo news paper.
Rut It nlnt a yello jernnl, & I never
mlskwoted cny buddy I ever Intervewd;
& they are leegon. When I get threw
with you Ho lot you 'blew pencil' eny
thing you want 2."
"Awl rite. Mr. Kidder, on those kon
dishuns," sez he, "you may proseed.
Get over on the labbord side ov me.
Im a llttlo def 2 port."
"Bye, eye, sir," sez I, fallln rite back
In 2 the akwatlck venackular, & I dun
so.
"How duo you like beln a hero az far
az yuve got?" I Interrlgated.
"Well, 2 tell tho truth, Mr. Kidder. I
don't know that I am a hero. I wood
rather fase the hole Spanish fleet than
2 tawk 2 that mob ov exngeratcrs that's
waltln outsldo 2 mlskwote me. Id Hko
2 see them awl In Davy Jones' locker."
"Never mind, Mr. Dooey." sez I, "be
kaws when I go out Ho get rid ov that
mob you."
"If you duo He be yuro everlasting
frend," ho repllde.
"Ilowd you like 2 be the Ice man?" I
askt.
"Well, I gess he leeds a happier life
than a hero," lafllngly replldo the ad
miral. "What I wish the grate Ameri
can publlck wood due lz 2 leovo me
alone. I venshur ' ' sny. Mr. Kidder.
that eny other commanding olllcer in
tlio U. S. navy wood hav dun Just nz I
did had ho bin placed In my poslshun on
tho 1st ov Mny, IMS. It's awl a caso
ov oppertunlty, thats what It iz, & I
waz simply fortunlt (or unfortunlt, nz
Im beginning 2 think) 2 hav tUa onuw-
Af C.7 fin Men's n-olo
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MC") JC -Mon'a n-Solo
P!" Lace Shoos
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Doimolu Kid and Russia
grain, new Cornell toe, you
have always paid 3 aud $3.50
for similar Qualities.
Two Volume
Dictionary for
A dictionary nnd encyclopedia com
bined lust tho thing for school chil
dren. Two massive volumes, elegant
ly bound In cloth and sold In no other
store under $0).
The pronunciation Is under tho au
thority of T. ICllwoDil Zell. The work
contains over 800 Illustrations uml 1
revised up to isifi.
Only ."iu sets at the price.
t unity. Its 2 bad If a man can't due
his dooty without being hounded 2 deth
after be duz It. ! came home beknws
1 nceled a res ft I bavent had a mlnlt
2 my self hints we sited land! Why
due you no there waz news paper bote3
out 10, yea 15 miles In the oshen 2 meal
the Ollmplck & see what 1 had 2 say
nNiut Ibis tli'i'" nnd that thing f: the
other thing, fc If Idr dun what wan rite
Id hav eleerd dcx 4 axshun it blown
the hole mob In 2 Tofet."
"Its 2 bad you dldnt."l repllde In a
consoling tone; "thay'd never bin mist."
Then I kontlnude, "What due you
think abowt the future ov the Phil
lipeans?" "Thny are a good lot ov Hands, &
when we hav once nut down this In
surrexshun I don't think thayll caws
eny more trubble. What we need lz
moro troops over there. Acwlnaldo lz
a nhriule fdlo & a fare tacktishun.
There's no more harm in him than
there lz in a nost of rattll snnlx," sed
tho Admiral, with a twinkle in hlz eye.
"Rut like awl honlst men heel bare
watchln." (This last I Imagine waz
fiarkastlek). "The army lz doln what
they can, but thay are hammered by a
lack ov men. What the peepll nt
Washington shood due lz 2 send over M)
or 73,000 men f: skwelch thoze savljls;
thay hav awlways bin opprest, & just
nz soon nz thay lern that the U. S.
meens 2 trret them rite everything will
be hunky doroy." (Hunky Dorey lz a
saler frazo meenlng O. K.)
"Mr. Admiral," sed 1, "I wish 2 thank
you 4 this Intervew & now you can
look It over & 'cut out' what ever you
want 2." II" look my manuskrlpt &
after peroosln It nhaf our, sed "I gucsj
thny dont spel just az thay use 2 befor
I left the states."
"Yes thay due," sed I, "but beln out
ov the country so long, amuns tho
Spnnynrds St other savljls & reedln
slfer messages, etsetra, yuve natchral
ly got out ov tho hang ov reedln Eng
lish; but like remorse S: the tax col
lector It will cum back 2 you In a few j
naze, uuer you peioua wie m:i ia
pers." "Well," sed he, "Im glad 2 hav met
you, Mr. Kidder; you aro tho onley
honlst representatlv ov the news paper
profeshun Ivo met Bints I returned 2
this country, & If I can duo cnythlng 4
you lie feel onnerd 2 servo you."
"Mr. Dooey," sed I, my chest hcevln
with pride at the kompllment, "1 am
tho xcepshun that prooves tho rool in
tho news paper blzness. You hav Just
sed you waz glad 2 meat me; in reply 2
you I can only say that the feeling on
my part lz visey versa; I konslder It nn
onnor 2 no you in facltt I may say this
lz a red letter day In my karear. You
aro a gentllmnn & a skoller! Long
may you wave! is the sentiments ov A.
Kidder & the rest ov the American
publlck at large & awlso In Jale. Yure
name," sed I, getting my 2nd wind &
tawkln lowd enuf so the Inlqultus re
porters outsldo on the porch cood heer
me, "Yure name Iz rltten indellably on
the minds ov futur generashuns till
awl oternlty, side by side with Wash
ington, Farrygut, & so 4th! You aro
at present the hero ov the American
nashun, tho slnoshur ov the Ize ov tho
world & you deserve it awl! May yure
glory never grow dim!"
"I thank you 4 yure kind words," serl
the Admiral, "I see you are apt at
reparte."
"No buddy apter," sed I. "Now I
dont want 2 mix buzlness with plezure.
& I konslder Intervowlng you the same
thing, but you sed a while ugo that eny
tlmo you rood due eny thing 4 me you
wood. Now If you can use yure In
ftooents with the ntivll bord ov authori
ties 2 lot me put lltenlng rods on awl
the fcdral buildings and men ov war,
Ilo fix ou up so you wont need the BUb
skripshun tho yello Jernala lz nwen 4
you."
"Ha dun what X can. 4 you," replldo
4.00
JONAS LONG'S SONS.
You:
Af Oftr Hoys' Satin Cnlf
tL vot j.nce Huooi; wo
can buy no moro to sell at
old prices; on Saturday4 the
last 100 pairs at JSc Instead
I of $1,:3: sizes 11 to OVi-
$1.25 Copyright
Books for
25'
In thl3 lot Is about 200 volumes ot
copyright books published at $1.21). In
most cases editions have been over
printed. Title's nro the very best and
some raro literary ccms aro amongst
them.
"Wo need tho room moro than wo
need tho books. If you como for them
today you'll not bo disappointed.
tho Admiral, "but I wont xpeckt eny,
remunorashun."
"You can soot yure self ubowt that,"
sixl I, '& now Ilo bid you a fond adoo."
Ho graspt my hand & sed, "Gawd b'esa
you, Mr. Kidder; cum & see me when
ever you can. Good-by."
I thankt him, & then remarkt. "Dont
get mnd at what I say when I go out,
Mr. Dooey, but Im going 2 hav sum fun
with thoze reporters out side."
"Awl rite, you can due what you will
with them."
So I opened the dore & you shood hav
seen the eircus looks on tho faces ov
that hungry mob. I lookt at them with
a look ov pity on my countenance, &
then, in a tone ov volse, sumwhat
lowder than waz absolootly nesessery.
sed, lookln at tho Admiral. ''So long,
George, old boy, Im sorry I can't stay 2
dinner with you but He .iron rownd)
sum day when I've got more time."
"Awl rite, old boss." se?1. the Admlial,
kctchln the point In a mlnlt, "you cun't
cum eny 2 sune, or often, 2 soot yurea
trooly."
Ho certny haz a grate cents ov bu
rner. Then I turned 2 the mob & after
lookln at them a mlnlt, sed. In a kamnt
voise, "Gentlemen, yure skoopt! Az
the Minister Plenlpetensheary & 13-s-traordlnery
Kmbassadore & persnal
frond ov Admiral Dooey I advize you 2
dlspers; go back 2 yure oillses and get
yure city editurs 2 send you out on
'hotel news,' 2 the police corts, etc.
Yure awl rite in yure own way, but
keep out ov tho way ov the admiral;
hees on tho rampage & woo betide tho
poor retch that crosses hlz path with
a pad and pensll!"
"The drinks alnt on mo xacktly," I
kontlnude, "but If yule wato till I get
my other cloze on He purchls,"
"What did ho say?" sed 1.
"Iz he njoyln good helth?" sed an
other.
"lie give you 250J 4 yure intervew,,,
sed a 3rd und thay awl trldo 2 tawk at
once.
"Gentlemen," sed I, "its no use tryln
2 approeh me: I wont hav It. Im aa
def & dum 2 yuro ntreetles az a rala
rode olllshual on the day ov a reck.
You cant get a word out ov mo abowt
the intervew. Sumbuddy askt what
the admiral sed. In reply 2 him. I will
sny that amung other things he sed
tlieres the biggest bunch ov lobsters!
out there on deck I ever saw out ov
water xcept In Fulton Market,' awl ov
witch Iz troo. He change my cloze now
&- then weel hav that drink."
I went below & when I returned thera
wuznt 1 ov thoze felloze on deck: evry
1 ov them had pulled 4 shore. It waa
tho 1st time I ever new ov a news paper
ninn refuzlnjr a drink.
Just as I waz noln over the side thai
ndmlrul rusht up 2 me & hugged me
saying. "Mr. Kidder you are certnv a
wonder," & he sed It In sutch a sinssar
tone I cooldn't help but think he told
tho truth. Ho shook my hand hartlly
ngen & wisht mo lion voyage, & thla
ended tho Incident, nz the French say.
I wish 2 state that I am now prepnlril
2 let the genral publlck shako the hand,
that shook tho hand ov Dooey, at tho
uniform rate ov lOcts per shuke. Re-
duckshuns 2 large famleys & children
In arms. Yures trooly,
A. Kidder.
Good Cause.
Mitchell "I saw the maddest man In
town todny."
Twltchcll-"Who was hoT"
Mitchell-"A Frenchman with tho Gcr-.
liiun measles." Facts.
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