4
THE SCHANTON TlUBUiNE-WEDNESDAY, MAKC11 1, IS'Ji).
I'nMhhpa lallr. Kxoupt Hiitiilax, !r tlii
I rlbuuerubllililii Company, at Fifty Uotiti
t.Moutli.
Jmh YuikUIUcc: lMlNnmniiSt,
H.H. VUKKI.ANIX
tolo Agent for Korelun Advertising.
Mniun atthk rororpirK at srnANTON,
FA., AS SKroNll-CLAS1 MAIL UATTKII.
SOHANTON, MAUCH l, 1M9.
To those who know the real charac
ter of tlio men at tho lie-ad of the con
iplrary ngnlnst Senator Quay there Is
jomuthlntt decidedly nmusinir in their
horrified Intimations that If any Ump
iring has been dono It Is Quay's friends
Alio have been fooling with the Jury
panel.
A Weakness in the Law.
On the assumption that Holand II.
Mollneaux, the wealthy ISrooklyn club
man under urioHt for the poisoning of
Mr.". Kntlierino J. Adam?, la Rtillty an
assumption which, of course, ought not
to pievall until all the evidence Is In--the
experts are already wondering how
Mollneaux Is to be punished. The evi
dence of the prosecution Is expected to
show that he sent poison to Harry f.
"Ornish, n personal enemy, first putting
it In ti bottle labeled "brumo-seltzer";
but the evidence also shows that It was
not On ulsh who died from the polson'H
effect, but n lady to v hoin Cornish
qavo the poison, thinking It was what
the label wild It was. According to the
law, if .Mollneaux meant to poison Cor
nish and did not me.in to poison Mrs.
Adams, the death of Mis. Adium, In
consequence of Mollneaux's dexlltry is
not llrst degree murder but an ordin
ary er.se nf nmiHlauirhter.
Yet if It Is- true, as Is allowed, that
Mollneaux Is a multiple poisoner, who
hast made the clumlstry of poisons a
special s'udy for the deliberate pur
posn of putting out of the way (arsons
who had inclined his enmity there Is
little need of argument to establish
that hanging Is too good for him; ami
IT the law does not provide more than
a term of Imprisonment for such an
offence the law should be strengthened
forthwith. In these comments we as
sume guilt simply fur the purpose of
Illustrating the defective provisions of
penalty, not with any wish to pieju
dlee Mollneaux's chain es of acquittal
if he is innocent.
The Vifty-slxth congress will be ex
pected by the country to take good cate
that he legular army of the United
States Is not, on July 1, 1901, reduced
to 27,000 men, a provided in the com
promise army bill rushed through the
closing hours of the expiring session.
Literary Mountebankism.
It Is a question whether famous lit
erary men add to their enduring repu
tation by going about the country like
some variety of a show, and lecturing
or reading for people at a dollar a head.
That they do ndd to their bank ac
count is undeniable, but this Is at the
expense of some advantages which as
persons of exceptionally tine sensibil
ities they must secretly deprecate. Of
course, the public likes to see all noted
characters at close range. According
to Its several tastes It delights In shak
ing the hand of a gieat writer, a great
statesman, n nobleman, a popular act
ress, or a murderer. Anv one of these
Is reasonably certain to be surrounded
by a throng whenever the occasion per
mits. People like to know all about the
Inner llfo of a prominent rersonage. If
It could be accomplished they would
rejoice In turning the vty souls of
himself, bis wife and the maid servants
wiong side out. What Is almost the
same, they would like to camp in n
convenient location where they could
aocurntely deteimlnc what the great
man's fnmtlv had for breakfast every
morning and whother ho invariably
kissed his wife when he went down
town. Vartleulnily would they bo
pleased to know for, a certaintj whether
he Is nice to live with or the contrary.
MlKli of this infoi inatlon being de
nied them, the next hett thing Is to
tloeU to hoar ami see him when he
tnnkes a tour of exhibition. I'erhnps
they do not care o much for his book!..
often they could not name a character
In u Klngle production of his brain, but
they want to set what manner of man
he is, so thej buy tickets and occasion
ally feel that they have leen swindled,
and not Infiequently they come homo
saying: "Oh. he Isn't such a great man
after nil. Ho Is onlv live feet six, and
Ills hair Is glowing thin on the top,
and ids dress cont doesn't lit."
The very withdrawing from the mul
titude, Hip excluslveness w hlch angers
the American public partlculail.v and
all uther publics somewhat, constitute
a priceless charm. Tlio ilno reserve
which forbids a man to yield his en
tiro personality to the scrutiny of the
mob is in Itself a hint of his rite In
literary value. Tho soft, impalpable
veil separating somo great soul from
tho common herd is wont to resolvo
itself Into a halo ahovu I1I3 brow In the
eyes of tho world. If he should emeigo
from Its glorified encircling nnd slap
Tom, Dick or Iluny on tho back, say
ing. "Como on, boys, lot's have a wrest
llnu match"' ho might be loved, but
tho lovcrt-ntlal adoration which had
been hta before would be left liehlnd
the veil.
Thus it Is problematical whether
Anthony Hope, Marlon Ciawford, Hall
Calno and many otheis who have, torn
across this continent, snatching dollars
from tho lecture platform as they sped,
have not lost something moro beautiful
and moro desirable than they have won
by thes.o tours. Imagine Tennyson
from his far, puro distance, before he
left It for another beyond our ken,
giving readings from "In Memorlam"
and remarking betimes, "Heie, I
thought of my sister, widowed before
she was a bride, as I wrote." "Here I
often paused to weep for my dead
Arthur, and I knew its pathos would
touch tho public."
Hudvard Kipling, too, has hold that
lesorvo which has not especially en
deaied him to the newspaper makers,
as ho has steadfastly declined to fur
nish opinions of American women and
American customs, or to confide his
domestic afTalrs to the' public through
tho medium of tho press. Ho works
at a prodigious rate and Is most fas
tidious regarding what he fends forth
from his pen, but of his homo life, his
personal alms and desires ha tells little,
but holds to tho dignity which is his
by right. Ho is the greatest writer of
his times nnd civilization today kneels
at the door of his sick room, nnxlously
longing for Intelligence of his recovery
It Is not at nit probablo that Kipling
will ever take to reading for lyceums
and other well-meaning organizations
In order to eke out a livelihood. May
he legaln his health and contlnuo to
add to the loftv fame ho has ho early
gained.
1'iesldent McKlnley has been excep
tionally happy In his Judicial appoint
ments. Within the past ten days he
has been called upon to mnke three of
these nnd It Is the simple truth to cay
that not one of the three could bo Im
proved. Judges Kohlsaat In Illinois,
Day In Ohio nnd MHPherson In Penn
sylvania stand forth before public
scrutiny as Ideal selections. It Is not
too much to say of John 11. Mcpherson,
named yesterday by the president to
succeed Judge Hutler on the bench of
the enstetn district, that ho stands nt
the head of the splendid Judiciary of
his commonwealth and commands tho
profound rescct of the bar of the en
tire state. His promotion Is tin act of
manifest Justice.
-
The Advice of a Patriot.
If there Is a Democrat In public life
who commands and deserves the re
spect of every Amerlcnn citizen Irre
spective of party, It Is General Joo
WheelT, of Alabama. Next to Dewey
Wheeler Is the finest llguro of the
.Spanl3h-American war; sagacious in
generalship, irrepressible In action and
a loyal, whole-souled gentleman clean
through. While other leaders In his
party were playing small politics at
Washington he took tho Held at Santi
ago, was the llrst to begin lighting and
the last to quit, and has by his ex
ample given a new baptism of patriot
Ism to the Southern states particularly
and, Incidentally, to the whole country.
When, therefore. General Joe Wheel
er offered advice to the caucus of
Democratic congressmen tho other
night which undertook to formulate a
partisan Issue over the Philippine prob
lem It was advice that should have
been heeded. He told his political
biethren that so long as our soldiers
are In battle array in the Philippines
the only thing to do and the only
thing which the country will consent
to have done Is to supoprt them with
all the money and blood In tho coun
try, If necessary. Any party, he add
ed, which takes action looking like a
failure to accept the results of the war
and to deal with them In u manly,
Anglo-Saxon way will find Itself dis
paraged In the eyes of the country and
of mankind,
This is gospel truth, stated mildly.
We don't know what germs of Imbecil
ity have gotten Into the minds of the
Democratic leaders who want to open
a partisan fire into the rear of our sol
diers and sailors In the far-off Islands
of the Pacific, but whatever they are
they are germs which must be exter
minated by the loyal citizenship of the
country at the earliest opportunity.
Tho nagging opponents of the govern
ment in congress have brought enough
shame nnd mischief upon the country
as it is, without adding to their crimes
the horror of deliberate treason.
Speaker Keed seems to bo the only
quiet antl-expanslonlst in the country.
The Outlook for Teace.
Dr. Kdward Everett Hale, who is in
London, professes to feel quite hopeful
that the czar's approaching disarma
ment congress will register a substan
tial gain for civilization. Twenty-six
nutlons nro to be represented and Dr.
Hale thlnk3 that oven If no woiknble
basis of Immediate partial disarma
ment can be agreed upon, some plan of
international aibltration under the
Jurisdiction of an International high
court may be accepted among the
many which ore to be proposed. He
regards It as significant that during the
p.isi twenty years no Important Inter
national convention has been signed
which has not had the fuitherance of
peace as Its object, expressed or Im
plied. We guess that If tho truth could be
known, the strongest Incentive which
will direct tho energies of this congitss
toward the avoidance of war In future
would bo shown to bo tho revelation
which has recently como to Intelligent
Europeans of the previously unrealized
ies.ervc strength of tho United States
as made manifest in tho war with
Spain. Without egotism it may bo said
that this demonstration of the poten
tiality of democracy lias profoundly
affected tho statesmanship of Europe,
and given a new turn to Its diplomacy.
Returning Americans tell us that the
commercial Interests of continental
Europe nre.beglnnlng to sense tho seri
ousness of the competition which they
are expet fencing under the lemarkablc
recent growth of the American export
trade, n, growth perceived by Europe's
more pieselent public, men to havo
illimitable possibilities. This, taken In
connection with tho recent growth In
our spheto of political influence nnd re
sponsibility a growth which multiplies
manyfold our liability to be brought
Into conflict with the policies of Euro
penn Governments is sufficient to ex
plain tho newly awakened eagerness of
hitherto Indifferent continental states
men to reach by diplomatic means a
condition of affairs which will save the
effete powers of Europe from tho dis
asters of an open conflict with the
forces of democracy aa repiesented In
tho newly-consummated moral unifica
tion of the Anglo-Saxon race.
Wo bellevo it to be nothing less than
tho truth that tho best statesmanship
of Eutopo Is at this time afraid of the
United States and of tho tendencies
and possibilities which its augmenting
power and vitality represent. It is
afraid In the sense that It recognizes
In these tendencies a seed of political
and social revolution threatening tho
permanency of the principles upon
which monarchical governments rest.
It Is afraid because It has tho common
sense to perceive, If not openly to ad
mit, that In the Inevitable Issuo be
tween government of, by and for the
people and government of tho' masses
by and for tho classes democracy holds
Irresistible weapons. The attempt of
the continental diplomats to effect n
combination for tho purpose of placing
limits upon Amerlcnn nctlvlty nt tho
beginning of tho war with Spain was a
defensive rather than nn offensive
move It was the desperate net of n
scared statesmanship which foresaw In
triumphant democtacy n genuine men
aco to Its own prestige and place. It
failed, thanks to England, but the feel
ing of nlnim and the perception of
danger remain; nnd this, moro than
anything else, In our Judgment prompt
ed tho convocation of the czar's dis
armament congress.
We nro to ho reconnolterod In another
manner. Knowing our pacific Inclina
tions the attempt will be made to get
us to sign a contrnct for pence which
will bo In tho nature of nn International
surety bond. Tho nlm Is to commit us
so far that tho other follows can cry
shame If In resenting future Ill-treatment
we ralso tho club of war, but not
far enough to Interfere with a military
combine on their part If deemed essen
tial to tho furtherance of continental
ends. In a contract tire rogue always
enjoys tho advantage because he has
no conscience; nnd the dlplomucy of
continental Durope la essentially
roguish In Its disregard of morals. In
our Judgment this interpretation of at
least somo of tho motives masked be
hind the disarmament project Is Justi
fied by history nnd sanctioned by com
mon prudence. For this reason tho
I'nlted States, although represented,
should let the other members of the
congress do most of tho talking. Wo
need give no special guarantees of
peace. They are given In the character
of our people and in the nature of our
Institutions. Most of all, they are
afforded In tho Irresistible potency of
American armaments and armed men,
atloat and ashore.
-.
It is to bo hoped that tho recommen
dation of tho senate naval committee
cutting down from twelve to six the
number of new wnishlps authorized by
the present congress will be defeated
emphatically. This rich nation does
not need and cannot afford to save
motley at the expense of Its safety.
Now that Agulnaldo begins to see
the foolishness of his revolt and Is look
ing about him for a method of sur
render, does tho Democratic minority
In congress wish by untimely leclara
tlons to encourage him to keep up his
mischief? Has that minority absolute
ly no sense of discretion?
If the participants in the Quay trial
looked anything like the figures In the
court room pictures published In the
Philadelphia papers, it Is evident that
thero has been a delay in Justice all
around.
According to accounts much of the
trouble at Manila has resulted from
Consul Wlldman's failure to "deliver
tho goods" to Agulnaldo.
Date despatches Indicate that both
the German and American officials at
Apia became too large for the coun
tries they represent.
Two vice admirals for the navy would
bo none too many. We have plenty of
materinl In tho navy worthy of promo
tion to this grade.
After tomoirow Mr. Johnson will be
turned lose as a curbstone orator.
TOLD BY THE STAKS.
Dally Horoscope Drawn by AJacchua,
Tho Tribune Astrologer.
Astiohibe Cast: 2.31 a. m., for Wednes
day, MarUt 1, lu.
A child born on tills day is in danger of
becoming a spilng poet.
With the dep.mure of snow tho work of
tho soft coal liends Is not so apparent on
tho face of tho earth,
In splto of the failure that Adam inado
theio nro several, persona right hero In
Scr.mtou who want the earth all to them
selves. Thero Is something wrong with the In
dividuals who believe that the ability to
lead a mob 1b an Indication of greatness.
In thta age It is positively useless for an
athleto to expect to achieve success who
dues not part Ills halt in the middle.
Snow, water, mud and dust on our
stnets at tho samo time yesterday indi
cated that winter still lingers on tlit l.tp
of spilng.
It is about time that something was said
In tho pupils concerning the rights of bl.
lycllstH.
CALENDAR FOR MARCH.
1 Put on a veil.
2 Tal'.o care of your complexion.
3 Try iehthyol ointment for that red
nose.
4 Several senatorial kickers are now
out of a Job.
5 The "porch climbers" make an at
tempt to enter the county Jail.
C Tho pajment of election bets con
tinues to bo stood off.
7 Tho cow trust and the hen trust are
consolidated for the sake of tho dear peo
pie. S Dick Holgato continues to tell what
ho is going to do.
9 Cilvo it up.
lt-Jtidso Archbald gets a telegrum that
causes him to smile.
11 Myron Kasvou decides that ho will
accept the jcancy on tho Lackawanna
bench.
12 Tho Thirteenth doesn't come home.
13 An unlucky day.
J4 Qolfles begin to bo seen on tho street.
15 Tho police foreo receives notice that
It will appear in kilts after April 1, rain
or shine.
10 (Oiders are left nt the tailor's for tho
abovo costumes).
17 A Now York syndlcato buys up all
tho coal land In this vicinity.
IS Winter overcoats will be worn long
or short according as to whether a fellow
has a spring one.
20 Eneloso stump for return of manu
script of spilng pootry.
21-The New York syndicate does not
buy up all tho coal lands in this region
22-Tho boaul of trndo icglsters Its
thirty-third vow ngnlnst the councils.
2:: John Fellows prepares his inaugura
tion speech.
21 Tho city streets ore pot cleaned.
23 George M. Watson decides to accept
the mayoralty next term.
20 Director 11. O. Jlrooks comes homo
from tho south and creates consternation
In tho poor board.
27 Secretary Atherton foreets hlinnelf
nnd releases a Joko prepared for the mln.
tlrel show Instead of tho report he wnB
to give beforo tho board of trade.
2i John McAsklo presents a fumigated
navel to tho mayor-elect and they have
a street parade,
20 John T. Hlqhnrds announces the
prospectus of his now bank.
20 Mayor llnlley enpuges two drays
uiki arck Patterson's express system,
31 Mayor Ualley vamooses.
NEWS AND COMMENT
The sudden shutting off of tho water
supply of u big city Is no small matter,
especially If It Is without wurnlng. Such
a shut-off occurred in New York Mon
day afternoon, causing also a sinprnston
of tho steam supply, nnd tho. Sun thus
notes a few of tho consequences: "With
few exceptions all of tho big downtown
olllco buildings get the power for thulr
elevators from tho New York Steam com
pany. At 3 o'clock all ot tho alm-iitnrs
emtio slowly down to tho ground floor,
but declined to ascend again. When the
engliieets In the different buildings wero
appealed to they declared that tho power
had been shut oft and that nothing could
bo dono until It was turned on again. Tho
stenm company's telephones wero kept
busy for tho next hour, und tho clerks
explained to nil Inquirers that tho city
had shut off tho water without giving
them any warning nnd that they were
helpless. In tho mcantlmo thero was
great unhapplness among the tenants of
tho nffected buildings. Somo absolutely
refused to climb up to their otllccs, and
sent for tho elevator men to tell thiir
clerks to lock up und go home. Messen
ger boys who had loiters to deliver to
olllces on tho upper floors of tho sky
scrapers kicked vigorously nt having to
walk, but had to do It Just tho same.
Men and women who wulked down stairs
from tho upper floors wero completely
exhausted when they rer.ehrd the street.
Altogether It was tho toughest predica
ment that tho downtown business district
has found itself In slnco skyscrapers have
been In existence." Fortunately tho mat
ter was soon adjusted.
Tho Texas legislature Is considering a
bill which Is of Interest to llais thero and
elsewhere. If this becomes a law, proof
that a man has been called n liar will be
come 11 full defenso In assault and bat
tery. That is to say, tho man wfth tho
battered nose, blackened eye, und hlat
used front teeth will learn In a court of
Justlco that it "served him right." Tho
laws governing liars In other Btntes vary,
says an exchunge. In Kentucky It is n
misdemeanor ptinlshablo by a $J0 lino to
call any man a liar, and 11 pollco justlco
of Louisville has declared from his bench
that a llo In Kcntuck mentis a blow.
This momoruble declaration was given In
discharging honorably a man who had
knocked down nnother fellow for calling
hhn a liar and hud been brought to court
to answer. In Virginia, by the law of
1S93-1S9G, a man who calls another man a.
liar Is guilty of a misdemeanor, and on
conviction may be fined not moro than $25.
In Georgia It Is slander, punishable by
fl.000 fine or a year In tho penitentiary, or
both, to tall a man a liar unless you can
provo that ho Is one, in which cubo you
get clear. The Georgia courts hold that a
llo constitutes tho first blow and Justifies
a violent response. In Arkansas passing
tho lie Is a misdemeanor punishable by 11
fine. In Mississippi Insulting words are
civilly actionable. In South Carolina and
West Virginia tho same.
An anonymous German recently re
turned from the fatherland has informed
a Sun Francisco reporter, or else the
reporter has imagined it, that Germany
Is preparing to selzo tho Philippines un
der a pretext of lack of protection to Ger.
mans nnd other foreigners. Ho asserts
that Germany is behind Agulnado and
that tho nrms recently seized on tho
steamer Abbey wero furnished by the Ger
mans. Ho says several batteries of 6-Inch
Krupps are now on their way to tho Phil
ippines In German ships. "Tho ultimate
object of Germany,' ho adds, "Is to dis
courage the expansion Idea nmong Amer
icans. To do this a heavy blow must be
dealt to American pretensions In the Phil
ippines. The plan is to havo Russia and
Franco to unlto with Germany and ull
three seize tho Philippines. To strength
en Germany's navy un option has been
secured on tho Almlrante O'lllggins, Es
meralda nnd Captain Pratt, which weie
refused the United States when the war
was on. These vessels will rendezvous at
the .Marshall Islands, and when the time
Is ripe all the outlying Philippine possess
ions will be HClzed. Dewey's ships will be
helpless, as he has none that uro us fast
as tho new Chilian cruisers." All of
which I j certainly important if tiue.
California Is going to try to tegulate
atrlraturing by law. A bill has Just re
ceded exceutlvo approval In tho Golden
Stato which declares that It shall hero
after bo unlawful to publish In any news
paper, handbill, poster, book or serial
publication or supplement thereto, the
portrait of any living person a resident of
California, other than that of a per.on
boding a public otllce In tho state, with
out first obtaining tho consent of such
person Tho only exception to this pro
hlbltlon Is that It shall bo lawful to pub
lish portraits of rersons convicted of
crimes. Tho section goes on to provldo
that it shall be unlawful to publish any
urlcaturo of any person residing In Cali
fornia which will In any manner reflect
upon the honor, integrity, manhood, vir
tue, reputation or business or political
motives of the person so caricatured or
which tends to exposo such person to
public hatred or contempt, but tho unhap
py being who does not nsldr in California
Is to bo fair prey for the California car
toonists. The enfotcement of the law will
bo watched with Interest.
It is gratifying, writes W. E. Curtis, to
leum by an announcement tint has just
been Issued from Richard Croker's Dem
ocratic club, that a wine cellar has been
added to Its luxurious apartments, with
nineteen varieties of chnmpagne, fourteen
kinds of whisky nnd SlO.tXM worth of the
finest wines In elstcnce. Wo nro official
lj Infotmed by Mr. Crokor and his houso
committee that their agents have
searched tho royal cellurs of Europo In
tho Interest of the Democratic club, and
huvo selected only tho most "supeib vint
ages." tho chief acquisition being a qual
ity of cabinet blue seal Johnnnlsberger
bottled by Prince Metternlch In 1SSH for
the uso of the duke of Nassau. This wine
is listed at $12 a bottle, and lllustrat-.-thi)
decadence of the Democratic pirn,
which formerly took Its liquor from a Ji n.
The North Dakota senate has taken un
advanced step on tho matrimonial ques
tion by passing a bill providing for the
appointment of a commission of tin en
physicians In each county for tho exami
nation of all nppllcunts for mitriiatro li
censes. No llcenso to marry can be gunn
ed under tho bill unless the applicants
present a certificate from tho board of
cvamlncrs that they are free from certain
diseases ond ailments, Including dipso
mania, hereditary insanity, and tubercu
losis. A fee of $2.M Is required for the
medical examination,
Tho conferrces of the two houses or
congress have reached an agreement on
tho bill for taxing tho census In liioo. The
principal point of difference was over the
provlrlon placing the clerical forco under
civil strvlco lules. This was eliminated,
und tho appointments nro to bo made by
tho director of tho census. Tho 300 su
pervisors, however, are to bo appointed
by tho president and confirmation by the
sennto Is mado essent'al. After the con
ference report Is adopted tho bill will go
to tho president for his signature.
A trio of ncrldents of tho same kind In
three different towns In 0110 day lust week
resulted In tho scalping of tho girls who
wero the unfortunato victims. Miss Sal
lie Vanmeter. a daughter of Judgo Van
meter, of Chtlllcothe, O.. had her hulr nil
burned off, while leaning over a grate, by
her celluloid comb catching flio. Sho Is
terribly injured. At Zancsvlllo, O., MI33
YoM will
be welcome
As a visitor at the Globe Ware
house's Annual Opening of Sprint
iand Summer Dress Fabrics.
l.ultt Moore, a society girl, got too near
tho grate; her celluloid comb Ignited and
sho was scnlprd beforo help could reach
her. At Wheeling. W. Viu, Miss Mary
Conner, whllo raking ccal In tho grate,
go too near tho fire, nnd her celluloid
comb was Ignited, burning her terribly.
It was the second accident of tho kind at
Wheeling In a week,
ONLY A SMILE OR TWO.
Tho btlde's fnlr checks wero dampened
with tho tears born in her eyes,
Ah gazed sho on tho wrtckago of her half
cremated ulis,
And, ns her mind reverted to somo other
things sho'd spoiled,
Tho grief within her bosom like a seeth
ing cauldron boiled.
"I mako so many blunders," sho unto her
husband said,
"That you must almost hate mot Oh, I
wish that 1 wore dcadt"
And that e-ccentrlo husband this sweet
consolation spake:
"They aro nothing to tho blunders that
my mother used to make."
Denver Post.
Tho grand damo was visibly affected.
"If 1 givo you live cents will you get In
toxicated with It?" sho usked feelingly.
Tho unfortunato started as If stung. "No,
no, no!" ho protested, wildy. "I'll take It
homo to my wife and she will probably
glvo n cotillion with It I" Detroit Journal.
Wife Why didn't you como homo when
I telegraphed?
Husband How could I until I got your
letter explaining your telegram? Boston
Life.
"Jumklns never laughs unless there's
money In it."
"I'vo seen him laugh at tho theatre."
"Of courso ho bus to laugh thero to get
his money bnck.-Chicago Record.
Theater manager (out duck hunting)
No luck at nil; not a duck in sight. Hoy!
Where aro thoso wooden decoy ducks 1
ordered?
Hoy In tho boat, sir.
Theatrical Manager Urlng em here and
set cm out. I sco wo'll havo to paper tho
house. New York Weekly.
In duo time tho pilgrim came to a great
houso where they wero to hold an Interna
tional expostlon. "What," ho asked, re
spccttully, "Is the purposo of your expo
sition?" "To celebrate," replied nn in
habitant, with courteous condescension,
"our great Industilal achievements."
"And are you so much better off by rea
son of these achievements?" perslstcel tho
pilgrim, with no notion of being Imperti
nent, however. "Certainly," replied tho
inhabitant. "Hut for theso achievements,
how could wo havo an exposition?"
Whenco tho pilgrim perceived that thero
Is purposo In all things Detroit Journal.
THE TROLLEY ON THE NILE.
Whizzing o'er the desert
My! what heaps o' sand!
Gracious, thero's a camel!
See tho Dervish band!
Isn't this delightful?
Glad wo came so far
Scootln' down from Cairo
In a trolley cur!
Heio Is th' conductor
Looks ilrst-rate in blue;
Glory, he's a Yankee
So's the motor, too!
Seo that dirty 'Gyptlan
With tho water Jar;
Glad wo como from Carlo
In a trolley car!
Think of poor Clo'patry,
Playln" her high Jinks!
Don't forget th" transfer
Mus'n't miss tho Sphinx.
Guess that's a I!e-doo-an,
Smokln' ills cigar.
Hero we como from Cairo
In a trolley cur!
Sav. th' car Is slowin
Wonder where It stops?
Yes, tho Journey's over
Thero Is old Cheo-ops!
Makes you feel real creepy,
Thlnkln' where you are!
Hustled down from Cairo
In a trolley car!
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
and
LAKUKSr AS.30IIT.MK.VT OV RANQIS
IN THE CITY.
d Ttaniflmii
an
GMSXiER & FORSYTH,
325 and 327
PENN AVENUE.
eaSth
R1PANS
ranges
Fiiraaccs
The Tabules are a compact convenient, accurate form of a prescription
universally used y ph siclans in treating dlR:-tive troubles '1 lie exact
formula from which Uipans Tabules ate made is m daily mc In the great
est hospitals In the world, where the highest niedica. flill recognizes it as
the best nrcpiratiO'i ever devised for derangements ot the stomach liver
and bowels. If the.e organs can be kept he.ilthv and active there Is little
d.mger of serious sickness Almost every tllncs. is traceable directly to
indigestion and its accompanlng disorders Kipans Tabules ttimtilate
the stomach, stop fermentation nnd m.ike digestion easy and rapid They
stir up the liver and help it to perform its function They cure conslica
tlon and strengthen and invigorate the bovteU so that their natura, action
Is restored. One Tabule is a dose. The frequency of the dose is regu
lated by the apparent need.
Odd
Lamps
We have a number
that we will close out
AT COST
This is a chance to get a
good lamp for little mouey.
TIE CLEMS, FERBER,
6'MAIXEY GX
42'J Lackawanna Avemia
ALWAYS BUSY.
Our Shces in quality always on top, al
ways easy on jour feet and very easy on
your purse keep us "Alwajs Husy." At
tend our 25 days' sale.
Lewis, Eeilly & Bavles,
Rolfl
Top Desk
aedl Chair
FOR SALE
Desk 4 feet Urn,
Been in use only a
slort time.
Reynolds Bros
STATlONIiKS auJ G.(iRAVER5.
139 Wyoming Avenue.
Scranton, Pa.
Bledflei
NEAT, Ul'KAULi: ISOO'lC BINDING
is what you m:cmvi3 ir yoi;
LKAVi: YOUII OUDHli WITH Tin:
TRIUUNU B1NDUUY.
Preserver
HvvH
TABU UES j
sVi ""
HNLEY'S
Allllial
linen
Sale o 0
Wi'J open on Wednes
day of this -week and wa
invite every thrifty house
keeper to make our Linen
Department her head
quarters during the next
ten days.
We cannot enumerate
here the many good val.
ues that are in store for
you in
FMe Table Linens,
Napkins,
Lmel CSMIis,
Eic Etc,
But can assure you thaf
you will find our How
prices on Fine Goods fully
as tempting as on any of
our previous Linen Sales,
Sale opens on Wefe
day, Fcto. 22, and will
coatae ftr ten days.
5j0and 512
LACKAWANNA AVENUE
Tiik Moniaix ItAnnw.utE Stork.
Emameled
WaEe
Is cleanly, looks well,
and lasts long.
It is
Economy
to purchase these goods
and we invite inspection
to our carefully selected
line.
FOOTE & SIM1! Ca
110 WAalllXQlON AVli
$-
The Hyot &
CorneeM Co,
Heating, Plumbing,
Gas Fitting, Electric
Light Wiring, Gas
and Electric Fixtures,
Builders Hardware.'
434 Lackawanna kum
HENRY BE LIN, JR.,
ovueim .CeMit inr tin Wyotuta;
District
PUT
rofBEi.
Aiming, llluKtimj, Hportlns, ImoUMll
mid tlio llopsiuuu Clieuilcu
lump.i y i
HIGH EXPLOSIVES,
titlety I''UP. Cum nnd Kxplo'j'fi.
Itooiu 101 Cumuli llutlUln;.
AGUNCIKI.
Tiin, rouiv
JOUN1I.HM1TU&1JN
W.E. MULLIGAN
Ptttito
I'lyinoutl
WUke4-Urc
v