The English Language.
A pretty deer is dear to me,
A hare with downy hair;
I love ft hart with all my heart,
But barely bear a bear.
Tis plain that no one takes a p'.ane
To have a pair of pairs;
A rake, though, otlen takes a rake
To tear away the tares.
All rays raise thyme, time razes all;
And, through the whole, hole wears.
A writ, in writing right," may write
It " wright," and still be wrong
For " write " and "rite " are neither " right,"
And don't to writo belong.
Beer olton brings a bier to man,
Coughing a coffin hii gs,
And too much nle will make us ail,
As well as other thi'igs.
The person lies who says he lies
When he is but reclining;
And, when oonsumplive lolks deoline,
They all decline declining.
A quail don't quail belore a storm
A bough will bow before it;
We cannot reiu the rain at all
No earthly powers reign o'er it,
The dyer dyes awbile, then dies;
To dye he's always trying,
Until upon his dying-bod
He thinks no more ol dyeing.
A son ol Mars ranrs many a sun;
All doys must have their days,
And every knight should pray eaoh night
To Him who weighs his ways.
'Tis meet that man should mete out meat
To leed misfortunes son;
The lair should tare on love alone,
Else one cannot be won.
A lass, alas ! is something false;
Ol faults a maid is made;
Her waist is but a barren waste
Though stayed, she is not staid.
The springs spring forth in spring, and shoots
Shoot forward one and all;
Though summer kills the flowers, it leaves
The leuvts to fall in fall.
I would a story here commence,
But you might And it stale;
So let's suppose that we have reached
The tail end ol our tale.
. " ...... .... dvjluu 1. 1 1 ri i tin to T. m a nmn nn n nnn n. I mi it t
may run for von. and von win Z. a.H IT " oT.j '".V" iiaT AU? Bre llme? wnen you ieel as
good hattw an. r t rr m uu "King xnocKcQ i morally certain oi
nfteivin. 7T.2 -t:-."80 nearer tue other players. Every time
for the rifield: whZTwK WK? J ?u.re ( holding that b.U
it on nil tho w f ; "J-j; ".s" "" "? x. V. F,y " luuiiuerous ap-
, u"" iiuy juriBuiuuon. xuis piause wnicn ioiiows sucn brilliant ex-
mvsp.lf tn ho I nut n i, i
. . - 1 " u vmw iui nil buc uuaiiiKii.
H"""' .. In the R xth inn nra " a rini'av-nnttor ' I !- T,I, ..-""" 1.764. New Vorlr hpnHa tha li-f uu
xnetourtn of July turned out to be came skipp ng toward me. I dodTed FhThi imlZto iK..ti.Z
. . ' - . . . - . I "" ........ nno nu rt . . ' ..... '
-. "v- ..guu-uciu, rviiKio you won t a dash for
nave much to do, but can put on all the was sroini i
style you wish." tended to s
Unfortunately, I suffered myself to be out for all 1
TIMELY TOPICS.
There are now 42,677 postoffiees in the
United States, an increase of 1.S38 in the
fast year. The number of offices pay
ngmore than $1,000 each, and there
fore called presidential postoffiees. In
a spienaia day cool, breezv. and of
just tue rignt temperature, and we were
ajoiiy party tnat tooK tne cars, early in
the morning, and went over into Jersey
I haven't space to describe a fourth
part of the hietory of those hours dissi
pation in tne country.
There were about twenty-five gentle
men, and tne same number of ladies
eacu oi ine latter having nn uimh
It was the expectation of us all that
our party including t.hp fnmilv nf th
old farmer who owned the grove would
mo vuiy wimesses oi on memorabh
contest: but one of htn nrriiina
ployed himself for two days previous to
the game in spreading th
i i a v. - v iuov cvciy i iiue nicer mat: nuc an rrmt. n
the majority did, I didn't feel
were several Hundred ramrod lnn
under the shadows of the trees to watch
uui uei lurmances.
The little rascal also pointed me out
t" ",u"uo' jjuiL'sionai, wno had re-
iiiseu tremenduous i flers from all the
iuuBinmo country, s that great ex-
about, danced tiere and there, and pre.
vented it going by, and being ordered to
sena it in, made a desperate throw to
home, to head off a rjlaver runninir in
from third.
I put too much steam on, for the ball
went some twenty leet over tne catcher's
head, who, nevertheless, iuamed in the
air and threw up his hands as if he ex
pected to reacn it.
lne best thinir ahrmt the hnsinpaa-oroa
that the ball struck the little boy wbo
had been yelling my praises, and he was
so occupied in weeping for the rest of
me game tnat ne let me alone
My wild throw cave me a fnnrfnl
wrencn in the side, and I struck out
every time alter that ; but as that was
so
loneJv as I anticinatprl.
I Should have Stated that havinir hud
a week's notice of the game, the most of
us prepared a sort of burlesque uni
form, with a view of helping along the
1UI1.
ff now ClLnA 1 i a 1
? rwJ t J . d con?ernmg me. frontispiece extended nearly a foot di-
iseveraldisrespectful'remarkscon- WmlT
WAS whizzinir
uunutraiubuiuugu bun pulsing ft IT J1K6
a meteor toward me.
'Keen back! this is mine! Til hold
it "
The ball shot straight thrntio-l.
hands, and striking me sauarelv on tho
nose, bounced off somewhere into space.
I described a back somersault, and in
going over saw more stars than lfpr.
scnei ever aiscoverea.
The hoots, laughter, disresnentfnl .
marks and yells were simply terrific. I
hastily scrambled to my feet anil be
gan glaring around for the ball. While
thus ens-RtrPd. the tlirpn men nn hnoc.
ran in, and the latter made a home-run.
Consequently our side was ;heaten, and
my nose was decidedly out of shane.
Since then. I have not been n. vn
ardent admirer of baseball, and I trust
that after this no one will ask me to tell
him, privately, why it is my nose is not
plumb. Golden Days.
A Wonderful Game of Ball.
Those persons who hud the honor of
my acquaintance ten years ago, wiil re
call that I was quite an adopt in the
national curuo of baseball. I pitched
for the Stroniholi club a fair under
hand pitch for several games; but
about that time the fnshion of curving
and underhand throwing came in
i as n ion.
1 never believed it possible for any
hum nn neine to send a regular body
such i.s ii f Bfjlnll Irom his hand i
sucn n fnsl.ii. n as to make it turn it to
the nght or h'ft . When the boys began
to tell their wonderful stories about it,
1 sniil loftily that it was contrary to the
law of mechanic?, nnd, with a view of si
lencing these pu'suinptuoiis youngsters.
I wrote to the Sr.ieu ific Americn, and
submitted the question to that authori
tative journal. It answered, in iffict.
, that it wa- a ridiculous absurdity for
any person to make sucu a claim.
This, however, did not silence my
friends. They said they had seen ii
done. Cuniinir.gs, the professional,
could do it with ease, though that was
about the extent of hi capacity on the
field.
Then I was told that Mann, of the
Princeton college nine, had acquired
t ha art; but I only laughed, until one
day I witi.es sod a game between the
College nine and the New Haven pro
fessionals. I placed mys-eJf behind the
board-fence back of the catcher, and
wntched.
Tnat settled it. Mann did it continu
ally. I saw the ball, as it left his hand.
iuhkc buuii a tieciuen mm to one side ik0 ara u: .i - ,r-" :;-r.
. . F. . . " viI i war rpnfn.r.Pfi ir. vnn d ha itia
cerning my ponderosity, as I moved
doui among my mend-, picked up the
urns, ana inea tnem with theoff-hand
eaness oi a protessional
1 Was not Without miacriirinira (nr
there was nothing but my former skill
w count upon, ana that was an exceed
ingly sienuer tiireta.
In throwi g the ball, before the game,
I tried my. best to hold it, but muffe 1
every one, with a single exception, and
that, I think, I held by accident. But
it maae my nants tingle and smart,
though I didn't let anv on bp Ir
My ereat relief, however, was, in ob-
(seiying tnat all the others were about
as deep in the muffin business as I was;
and there's nothing like company when
I tried a little with the bat, and did
bettor, forgetting that in this case the
balls were pitched precisely as I wished
them, while in the game it would be
exactly the opposite; that is, if the
pnciier Knew anything about his bust
ness.
I was the last striker of the nine, and
as our piayers were put out in one-two
tnree order, it was not until the close
of the third inning that, I stepped up to
me iiome-piate, ana tooK up tfce ash in
ui.v um-ume style.
A good many remarks from the crowd
were audible : " Knock the stuffing out
'!" . " jeorge w rignt in dis
guise!" "He's Dickey Pearce. grown
stouter !" "Try 'Anti-Fat! '"and sirni
iur expressions reached my ears.
iiaii players must be accustomed to
sucn annoyances, for they are often ul
tereo. ior tne very miroose of nf Hom
ing the game. But I was anirered. nnri
seeing the ball coming fairly over the
home-plate, I banged away at it with
an n-.y migiit.
I came within about fourteen inches
oi it, tne momentum of my own blow
carrying me completely around on my
icei, i-nusing my uai to lail oil and niy
sell almost to stagger over on my bend
mm ruuui ii uizziness.
A general laueh follow this fm'imv.
and my cheeks burned with chagrin, for
i was sure tnr.t me uasty glance which
I cast down toward the grove, showed
my particular friend of the gentle sex
aiuiiingHi tne ngure i cut.
Before I could get in "form," as they
say, the second ball was pitched. The
umpire yelled, "Strike!5' just as the
cuoe strucK me in front and nearly took
uiy oreuiii away.
mere was another laugh, and the
pitcher called out, "Beg paahrdon!"
utterea just as you will hear it about a
hundred times when a couple of college
hdent of making a home run, didn't
come within six inches of the cube.
Even the veteran Gould, once of the
famous old Red Stockings, after in
structing his men how the thiny was
done, stepped up to the plate, and
banged away eight times during the
game, without coming anywhere near
the ball.
I immediately reversed my opinions,
as did the Scientific American, and also
Profess or Swift, oi Rochester, who went
out on the ball -field and saw the ball
pitched squarely around the end of a
board.
I think it was a good time for us all to
paten up our theories.
IRAC npr.
luruinuue, nuu i scowiea terribly, and
griped my bat in a suggestive wav.
I drove away at the third ball, and
caugut it iainy on the end of my bat.
There was a sharp crack, like a Distol.
shot, and a roar of annlansp mpnt tin
from the crowd, as I started like a buf-
laio ior nrst base.
I didn't see the ball, but when our
captain snouted, "Uomehome! Come
home!" I made a desperate eflort to
complete tne circuit of the bases.
At the hrst, my hat went off. But
wuaioi ltr JNo professional would mind
such a thing. Before I reached second,
one of my shoes shot up in the air be-
hinH ma on ' Ih.J -1
;il UD UUf L lift J II PH. I i , , r uu kj.
asked Mann how he did the trick, and lTea?d lauXer &onmAead
he Ha d that lip ..nriroH hfl Kaii anQ 1 "card laughter mingling with an
and he said that he curved the bail acci
dentally one day, while practicing in
the gymnasium, and showed me how he
held the ball.
But I could never acquire the knack,
and resigned my position as pitcher for
the Strombolis, and was succeeded by
nu ambitious young gentleman, who
nearly snapped his head off every time
he pitched the ball.
Shortly after, I became sensible of an
increasing tendency to corpulency on my
part, doubtless inherited from my fa
ther, who weighed an eighth of a ton.
sty weigui steadily increased, until I
now tip the scales at 220, and am still
rising.
I was always fond of witnessing the
game, and used to go out to the Athletic
grounds, to see that club clean out. ti10
old Atlantics, and then get cleaned out
II. v. ,1,UJ C 1.; .
minirlinir with on.
r I on Da
By the time I reached second, I began
to feel tired, and wanted to sit down nri
rest, but about aii our nine were chasing
after me, clapping their hands, dancing
and screeching like lunatics.
"Run it out! A home-run! The bf st
hit you ever made! This'll win the
game! Run hard; all the ladies are
watching you!"
I couldn't think of stopping with such
Incitements in my ears, though I was al
most out of breath, and a sudden kink
in my left ankle caused me to limp and
nearly fall.
I went panting by second with bulg
ing eyes, and my otner shoe went up like
a rocitec over my nead.
Forging by third with the whole pack
at my heels, while all the other nine
were shouting to the center-fielder to
were
stars.
but were verv tiht. and wpn nnntinn.
ally coming unfastened at the knee and
working up my legs. The stockings
were a brilliant crimson, and tl.p ah
oi tne ordinary kind. The shirts Lad
an immense letter " S" worked in lront,
to distinguish our memhern from tUo
omers.
In all such games the blunders m in.
numeranie.
One of our nine insisted, after reao'i
ing second base, that he had the right to
run oacs to nome-piate, instead of going
lurwuru, na tue instance was tne same.
Another, finding the ball at Rrnt nlienri
of him, hastily withdrew to home.
where he contended that he had a rieht
to stay until he saw a favorable open
ing.
" That s the wav we used to do!" ha
said, savagely, "and it was a good deal
better than this new-tangled fashion."
in tne ninth inning the situation as
sumea an interesting phase
uur opponents the invincible were
at the bat. we having Dlavsd out our
nine innings.
e had made thirtv-five runs, nnd
they thirty-three. If we could blank
tnem (.and each club had been white
washed several times) we would win
It they should eet in two runs the
would be tied, and another innin?
wouid be necessarv. If thev should mt
iuiic, mey wuuiu Win.
ihe excitement was intense," as the
expression goes, ine snouting stopped.
and the countrymen began trenching
upuu Hie ueiu in tueir anxiety to see
tne close
uur captain admoms'ied ns all tn
Keep cooi and to watch every chance
" Don't get rattled !" was the caution
ue repeated halt a hundred times.
we ail promised we wouldn't allow
ourse.ves to be rattled, thoueh thpre
were only one or two who knew he was
warning us against becoming demora.
ized or (dgurntively) losing our heads
Ihe hrst ball struck went straight to
tne pitcher, who took it on the honnrt
and threw it furiously to first, to head
off the striker.
The baseman, startled to see it cominw
. .1 .
iiku a cannon-Dan. turned n a hnnu-
toward it and shrugged his shoulders.
It struck him and lell at his feet, he
turning iranticauy around to hunt for it.
ine runner would have been there in
time, if he had not stumbled and torn
nan nisunnorm oil. This so bewildered
mm that netore he recovered the hasp
man found the ball.
One man out. and no runs!
ihe second batter drove a "sky-
iin(iL-i- over cenier-neiu, and made
his second before the bull was fielded
in.
Ihis looked bad. but wa wen? much
cheered and revived by the captain beg
ging us again not to get " rattled." Wc
arew in a oeep breath, and resolved to
die neiore becoming "rattled."
ihe pitcher took his position, nnd
made ready to deliver the bail to the
batsman.
At this juncture the runner, who was
on second base, stepped off a pace or two
io wuicu uis cnance.
The instant he did so the baseman
near him took the ball from under his
arm, anu, tapping him on the shoulder,
shrieked for " judgment!"
The umpire could do nothincr hut
the runner out.
This little trick, you know, is some
times played by professionals, and is
nothing but a deception as to where the
ball is.
The opponent supposed it was in tha
pitcher's hands, and did not suspect the
risK ue ran in stepping on his base.
Two men out, no runs in and we were
ahead !
The next three batsmen maria Mini
buses by knocking skipping, difficult
balls. With all the bases filled .;
made the situation extremely interest
ing, anu we Decame more determined
than ever that we would not ha"ri.
tied." '
I had not yet had a fair ball. Vint, tho
next striker raised one well nn in tho
air, and my instinct told me on the in-
BToorlsh Robbers.
What kind of people are fho Roni.
Hassan P" demanded De Amicia. mom.
1 1 . T..1. i . . . ' 1 -
uki ui wie. namm emoassy to the Moors
referring to the approaching company
oi wild horsemen wno were to oepnrt
tnem turougn tne next province.
" Thieves and murderers," replied the
interpreter; "faces from the other
wonu ; me worst crew m Morocco."
And naturally the signor's curiosity
was excited to the uttermost when they
nrcie cA.p;Liiig lub arrival oi their rob-
per escort.
rp u , e . i
xuo inues iiuui anoiner world wpvp
not long in coming. We saw in ad
vance a great cloud of dust, and in a few
minutes were surrounded by a throng
ui oinr uiuuiiwu savages in green, yellow,
niiiLc, viuiei, ana ueanei, ragged, dis
heveled and panting, as if they had just
come out of a frav. In the midat nf tho
thick dust they raised we could discern
their governor a long-haired, black
bearded giant, who, followed by two
uuiviv viue-Kovernors. ail armpi with
muskets, approached the ambassador,
pressed his hand, and then disappeared.
Pennsylvania, with 132, and Ohio, with
113
The national association for the nrn.
wuuon oi ine insane, which was organ
izeu lib 1110 cnaritlPS conipfpncn in
Cleveland recently, has for its object
luo luirouucuon oi more humane and
intelligent methods of dealing with in
sanity. Great things in this direction
nave Deen none in the past generation,
uui, iiiuuu stiii remains r.n ho nnnn
ftBpeciai care lias been taken hv tho
association to make it understood that
the movement does not arise irom hos-
uuiy to any asyium or ouicinls
A drUffSrist'H Assistant, was nhav:,aA
before the correctional chamber in
Paris, a few davs airo. with causinir tho
death of a man bv misrendinir A nro-
scription. The doctor, whose writing
was very clear, ordered eight drops of
laudanum, which the assistant care
lessly read as eight grammes, or about
a quarter of an mince. Tho nvurHnon
naiurany killed the patient, and the
court sentenced the prisoner to three
months' imprisonment. His advocate
urged as an extenuating circumstance
tnat, ii tne mistake had cost the de
ceased his life, it had at least provided
iiiiu t uu a painless death !
The honors accorded to the American
exhibitors at the fishery exhibition at
remn were quite numerous. Thev
were as follows: Address of thanks
ann a gold mtdai; one honorary prize ;
a gold medal, with special honorary
diploma; nine gold medals, exclusive
of the special ones before mentioned;
fourteen silver medals; twelve bronze
meaais, anu seventeen honorable men
tionsin all sixty-nine awards to the
United States Larire as is the nnmhni.
oi prizes ior America, they might have
been very much augmented, for tho
overwhelming superiority of the Ameri
can eiuiuiuun over tuose ol all other
countries was conceded from the very
first day. But the American exhibit
was ior tue most nart n, collective r.nn
1 1 .1 IT .
uiaue oy me united states nsu commis-
Immediately the usual firing, charging fionand (or th.is Fea.9?n comparatively
and yelline begun. Thev seemed Iran! in
rr i . u . .. .
xucy uieu ueiween tue legs ot our
muies, over our heads and close to our
shoulders. Seen Irom a distance they
must have looked like a band of as
sassins assailing us. Tbey were formida
ble old men with lone white beards nil
skin and bone, but looking as if they
might live for centuries; and young
uicu Kim iung iocks oi oiack hair hying
like manes. Many had their chests
more or less bare, turbans in tatters,
and red rags twisted round the head ;
cnics torn, saddles broken, bridles made
ot cord, old sabers and poniards of
wirunge iorms. Ann such hues! "It
is absurd," said the commnnHnnt.. "to
suppose mat inese people will be enpa
oie oi tne sen-sacnhce of not killing
us. ivvery one oi tnese laces to ri
story of blood. Thev looked nt. 113
they passed, out of tho corner of their
eyes, as if to hide the impression of their
gi.mce.
The manner and morals of this nn
pleasant people by no means belied their
villinous looks. Theft is their avowed
profession, and they take rank accord
ing to their dexterity in it. Tho boys
aic iui, in naming irom tneir most ten
der ages, and the youth are told off to
particular departments, according kto
the capabiliies thev develon. Thev
to work like-an oiganized "imgof bur
glars, on circuits lar bevond their im
mediate beat. They are in the habit of
lying in wait in the towns to attack
Jews, who are compelled by law to go
uuaiuu-u, anu wno are generally worth
plundering. Like mounted
they go great distances on horseback to
til n r CI OIlHllnn A. onnr
"""v ouvjutu utciciiLs till uii.usiiiji:f in r
duars. They will dismount, and, like
some of the low-caste Hindoos, strip to
me Hitin, soap tuemse ves an over, and
slip within the precincts ot the village,
iui Liiu nogs win not oark at a naked
man. They glide upon the ground like
snakes, covered with grass, with straw,
with leaves, dressed in sheen-skins. rlis-
guised as beggars, as madmen, as saints,
as soldiers. Thev will risk their livea
for a chicken, and no ten miles for n
dollar. They will even steal a bag of
uiuiicjr iioui unuer tue neaa oi a Sleep
ing man. They terrorize the surround
ing country far and near, levying heavy
contributions of blackmail on the vil
lages that derive exemption from their
depredations. It mav he said, no Hnnht
that it is not so very long since gentle
men caterans like Rob Roy drove a
nourishing business in KcntlnnH R..t
a; all events, Rob Roy was proscribed
and hunted down, and he had his head
quarters in the fastnesses of a remote
Highland district, while thesn Afnon'oh
robbers thrive on their ill-gotten gains
in a COUntrv onen to the irrpcrnlur ...
airy, of which their emperor has so
many in his pay; and their bands infest
the roads between the court and his
capitals, which are habitually traveled
by his caravans and treasure trains.
few American individuals, so to neir
: j
icueiveu uwarus.
Mr. btoddard. second niatp of I ho
brigantine Fortunate, which arrived re
cently at naiiiax. Si. s., from the West
indies, reports that one niaht, while
passing along the coast of Florida, a
singular phenomenon appeared just after
uam. wo columns oi nre were seen,
seemingly about a mile away. Thev
were aoout nttv varns nnnrt. nnri moo t
a height of nearly 501) feet, when they
arched toward each other, but did not
meet. j.ney ourned with a steady, dull
ieu coior, anu did not emit any sparks.
DUt at the arching portions emitted
tremulous rays or penciling of li.rht
similar to an aurora borealis. They ap
peared in sight all night, and gradually
faded away as daylight came. The
weather was beautifully clear, and not
a cloud was visible during the entire
night. On the following dav therp w.is
a neavy tnunoer-storm, accompanied by
a (laicui VVJ11U, UUb UU THin.
A Washington dispatch sava that
General Walker has placed the task of
attempting to procure lull census sta
tistics of Indians rot taxed to Major
Powell and his assistants, who are
working under the Smithsonian insti
tution. Colonel Garrick Mallerv. of
tho army, is nowengascd in nrenarinw,.
:i . x , . T .r ;
special set oi sciieuuics ior recording
Indian statistics. These will embrace
heads calculated to set out. all mntri..l
facts of the Indian situation, and the
condition of each tribe. Colonel Mal-
lery has made a close study of the
American Indians, and is well fitted to
prepare schedules which shall cover ail
tne more prominent features of Indian
life, and bring out many points in the
line Ot his 1 esearches which will h
both new and interesting. This is nn
important matter in many respects.
Hitherto all estimates for the purchase
of Indian supplies have been based
upon the supposed number of Indians in
each tribe, but there is ground for the
belief that the number has been vastly
overstated in respect of many tribes.and
that large sums have been wasted in
consequence.
Trying to Drive a Hen.
Did you ever undertake to drive a hen
anywhere P If not, then never say
" Where there's a will there's a way,"
or "All things are possible to him who
perseveres," because you don't know
anything about it.
Driving a hen properl j, and decor
ously, and successfully requires more
skill than capturing a herd of buffalo.
The hen you want to drive is always a
Biiong-minoed nen. ii she had been a
woman she would have wanted the
ballot long ago, and her husband would
have, had to keep quiet when she " got
set "on anything. But being only a
hen, all she can do is to cackle, a id be
Contrary, and thwart roil nt. pvpw Inrn.
If you want her to go in somewhere
nKn'l I I. n n . . ... . . . .
ouc ii bui e w want to gj our, and
vice versa. You want to drive her
most when she gets out of the coon. nnA
gets into your garden, to the total de
struction of your pet bulbs, and roots,
and seeds, and everything else. One
smart, active hen will do more harm in
one hour than a cow would in half a
day.
A hen is born with an instinct to opt.
at the root of the matter, and she fol
lows out ner nature.
When your hen gets out of confine
ment she makes straight for vour
choicest flower bed, and "she stays there
for an hour before you discover her.
By that time she has dug out everything
that you cared anything about, and has
buried herself un all hilt, hpr head nnH
there she lies in the sun with h anninpss
and triumph in her speaking cuunten-
How mad vou are! You feel as if von
could sever her joints and make hor
into a pot-pie with a will no matter it
she is one of the trio that cost $10.
iou go tor her with energy, and
scream out "shoo!" at her, and flourish
your apron, and make wild gestures in
her direction, and call your husband
and the children and the hired girl to
neip drive her into her quarters.
Now, it is never anv use to call a man
to help drive a hen. We nrn jtrillinir to
admit that the lords of creation can do
quantities ot things that the weaker sex
cannot, but there is one thing a man
can never do and that is drive a hen
He'll break the rake-hand 1p nnH opt
I ! .v..,: 7, ,7
uuuk in ine cioiiies-nne, and lose his
hat, and fall down over the cromipt.
wiuKeis, ana ourst on two or three of
his suspender buttons, and the hen will
ny up on the top of the barn or take
reiuge in the tallest tree on the premises,
ana mere sue win stay and laugh at
mm until she is ready to come down
Ann nu the men in creatin nnnnot
cinve ner down, tor she knows that she
has got things her own way.
Your hen that vou are iroino to drive
generally cackles all the time you are
trying to drive her. It gives her cour
age, perhaps, to defy you. It is like the
music of a martial band when t.linl
uic Luniuimig mio Dattie. it is as in
spiring as the strains of " Yankee
noodle to the hen's ear. You try gen
tleness first.
Shoo. bidJv! shoo, hlriilut ci,
ti:ere!" and she plunges off in tho di
rection contrary to the one you wish
her to go in ; and then you draw off your
iuiuus anu execute a nan if ninmninii
.. .. j . t i . .
nuu pen ner up, DUt presto! just as
vou think you have got her. she tnnma
uiiooi riguc unacr your
skirts, and awav she pops froo a,
Then you get some corn and try to bribe
uui. kju, no, sue ooesn t want any coin,
thank vou. She is above h Pi hurif Kim
doesn't tako any siock in your " chick y !
rf- - -- j . ui.iiTi.icu in y 1 1 LI 1
most caiolins of voicps St 11 eh,,
cacKics. All the roosters cackle, tot
eviuentiy tickled with her spunk. A
few hens who arc not. em-ions n
All the neighbors will be looking out to
see ' what on earth you are making
inein nens screech so tor.
lour husband gets a nolo and mnkna
a dive for that hen. Ho'lifiy
for her, lie says ; she'll go into that aen-
uuusu or ne u Know the reason!
Anu by the time lie has chased her all
over the premi.-es, and torn his pants
aim nuuincu a piece oi skin ou his hand
anu run over httlo C hariev. he h
unci out tue reason. It is hecnuae a m la
not oi a mind to go into that hen-house.
And he SrtV8 that bens nrn n niiiannoo
and that he'll kill the whole of em, and
he wishes there had never been one invented.
By this time vou arn tired of hit. hnlr.
and you request him to go away and
you 11 drive that h n.
1 hen you begin, and the hpn heo-ino
too. She flies over the fence, and up oil
a neighbor's woodshed and down into
somebody's pig-pen, and then the pig
takes after her with a vim, and she flies
out with a screech, and runs under the
barn, and there s'.ie stays till night, and
men ii jou win leave open your hen
Finish Thy Work.
Finish thy work, the time Is short;
The ann is in the west;
The night is coming down -till then
Think not of rest.
Yes, finish all thy work, then rest;
Till then, rest never;
T e rest prepared ior thee by God
u Is rest forever.
KiuMi thy woik, then wipe thy brow;
Ungird thee from thy toil;
Tuko breath, and irom eaoh weary limb
Shake ofl the soil.
Finish thy work, then sit thee down
On some celestial hill,
And ol id st -ength-reviving air
Take thou thy fill.
Finish thy work, then go in peace;
Life's battle taught and won,
Hear from the throne the Master's voice,
"Well done! well done!"
Finish thy work, then take thy harp,
Give praise to God above;
Sing a new song of mighty joy
And endless love.
Give thanks to him who held thee np
In nil thy path below,
Who made thee faithful nnto'death,
And crowns thee now!
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Marketing In Old Rome.
The sir or mnrlnm who in thpao K,nn
ing summer days entertains a party of ""use tfoor she will find her way thither,
friends at lunch or dinner, and the ex- ? metk and innocent looking as you
quisiteness ot the feast vies with tho Please for " chickens and curses come
cost oi tne service, naturally supposes "u,uc w roust. na unorne,
that irom this 'modern vantage-ground
they can give points to Heliogabalus or
Apicius. But these older gourmets
made light of sums at which our mod
erns would turn pale. Professor Her-
nermann, in a late number of the "Half-
Eortluinakes,
Professor Palmieri. who mnn ha dM
7 wtj OiUlt
tit haiTO Kaam c- ! t--! .
... " -- ivuauuccn BllLUK fill II D Pi IT II n 11 o tr a
iiour series," gives a most entertaining (on Mount Vesuvius) for the last thirty
l! teSU1 "Busines8 ?r fofty years, is an Puthoriu Vn the
Sunstroke.
stant that it was ' mir hull " anHVr dl. 7 ,tw ( nays me bingie aaimy aisu to set beiore a kin,
sunt that was my ball, andnoone iVoc on, , of singing birds; and Apicius, the prince
Life in Ancient Rome.1
Not only Nero, Verus and Heliogaba
lus lavished from $240,000 to $400,(00
upon a single banquet, but the actor
Esopus paid more than $4,000 for a
single dainty dish to set before a king.
Wi. who in t.nm would h VomTi?" throw it in, I struck for home,
k.j.. u,i. i .i .r T", "Get out of the rnarl I" aoIIoH
9CU UU UV IUB AblUULlUD. 1H rfl HllhV . ' . . -
i ! " " i . t j crowd
lLas
as
Iniforms, while fortune varied as con
V'rned the other clubs.
t fourth of July, a social party
gotten together, and arrangements
ade for spending the glorious anniver
ry over in N ew Jersey.
A delightful grove was selected, and,
uong the amusements, it was settled
that a game of baseball was to be played
in the afternoon, and I was selected as
a member of one of the contesting nines.
I shivered when told it, and protested.
Tin fact was, that among the numerous
spectators was to be a young lady for
whom I entertain a very high respect,
and who, I was beginning to hope, was
not altogether impartial toward me. I
declined at once.
" It can't be thought of," I said, em
phatically. " I haven't played ball for
ten years. I'm too fat to run. I can't
catch a ball, and couidn't hit one, un
less they wiil allow me to use a ten-inch
board."
That's the fix we're all in," said my
friend. "There's really only one fair
player Macpherson; and we will han
dicap him, so the difference won't be
the
"That chan can't sf on! TTp'II
have to go around three or four times
belore he can put on the brakes ! Let
the band play!" etc.
Well, I reached home-plate a second
ahead of the ball, which, being thrown
n from a long distance, struck me and
helped mo forward somewhat.
oeeing now close the contest was, the
1 M .
i Degan aancinff about and moving
forward and backward as though the
ground had become suddenly red-hot,
while at the same t;me my head was
thrown so far back, to allow me to gaze
skyward, that the long fore piece of my
hat pointed straight toward the zenith.
"Right-field! Take it, right-field!"
was shouted by every member of our
nine, while our opponents began to hoot
tne blood, which usually is the result
not so much of exposure to the sun as
an insufficient perspiration: mannuDi
of sunstroko happen among laborers not.
exposed to tne sun. it a man, whether
intue sun or in tue shade, is exposed to
a temperature of say ninety degrees, and
does not prespire freely, his blood be
comes overheated, and he is in dtpr.
danger of being attacked by that kind of
captain shouted to me to slide in, and I by such triflesT
muufium i uuuiu Biiae a lew ".Iut ae him tVo thot t
I ww VUMU ' U U1U'
rest me. 1 fashioned style !" some one called from
urw! Willi
nroat.rn.tion whinh is ptillori aiiMo.Ai..
and howl so as to "rattle" me; but I because perspiration is, as it were, a
.v. u ,u,uS iciuio, ouu uij poind eaieiy vsive, wnicn carries off
was too sublime for ine to be disturbed
inches it would serve to
succeeded, but it played
my trousers, though the damage was
uuv nit jyai auic
Whan i wraa caam T I 3
home-run, the applause was terrific and
Kecovenng my wind as best I could I
carelessly sauntered off toward itees, Theflay 1 WXla
as though I had donea verv Bmnii thin iTii j , .. . ..
in the world 6 f"eu aiterwaru, an ine ladles
in tue worm. i raMj thoi h... v,.u i ,
I heard the young scamn of w ""f"""". "T" Vio-8?
shouting out that I was an 'old profeV- 33 TC&t I wZ seen I held it.
BionaU and he had told them I would do Even our maTnanimon. n m.i.
?5!rTl?8,au.rln eam. adding who were trying to rattle me. took off
the crowd probably the urchin who
had been heralding my skill from the
beginning.
"Keep back! keen back!" T ahnntoH
-Fho18?!11 Don UeHntheway!" something worse, he does not promote
,in1y o h .a0- lone Audience perspiration, but checks it; water is
s ii ner.
fluous heat: in fact, the amount of hpt
wnlch, as it were, disappears in the act
oi perspiration, is something startling
when calculated in figures, according to
the theory of latent heat of vapors.
When a man who feels oppressed by
heat does not drink moderately cold
waiEi, uub tunes recount to Deer or
tue very Desi arms ior man
working in hot surroundings ; a little
oatmealmixed in it hag become very
popular, and we advise to acidulate it
slightly, not with thesulphurio or other
mineral acids, as we have seen recom
mended such acids check prespiration,
that I wouid show more astonishing their hVts and held them in band reSS " n 7Tf abl6 , P'?mote U' Be8t
performances before it was through. 8 t i fn thr..r.?. in Land' ready of . a11 enlon juice, citno or tartario
H Tvas quite correct. ThYtJhu, ifi"' ? HAfffJ ?oC obl
- i viucvivr, ior warn ui vviwr
of good livers, after spending $4,000,000
upon the pleasures of the table took
poison because he saw nothing' but a
beggarly $400,000 left. Citruswood
tables cost $40,000 to $50,000 apiece;
and the elder Pliny says that the philo
sophical Stoic Seneca had five hundred
of them at, various prices. A statue by
rraxueies was worth $ao,O00 or $30,000.
The little book is lull of curious in
formation. Who knew that pork and
not beef was the favoritn ment. of tho
Romans, while lamb, mutton and veal
were not in favor P Game, poultry
and fish were very acceptable, but the
old Romans, like the modern Italians,
ate meat sparingly. The professor gives
us a price list: Beef, per pound, four
cents; Jamb and fresh pork, six cents;
ham, ten cents; river fish, two cents;
sea fish, six cents; a pair of quails,
thirty cents; eggs, six cents a dozen;
mule, tour cents a quart; salt, sixteen
cents a peck; ten to forty apples or
pears, two centa; four pounds large
grapes, two cents; green beans and
shelled pea?, two cents a pint; oil, six
to twenty cents, and honey, four to
twenty cents a pint.
His attitude is always imnosinsr tha
obtainable, attitude of a maker-up in a printing
office always imposing.
suojecD ii any one is. He has recently
given at Naples a public lecture at the
university on the possibility of foretell
ing earthquakes. After mentioning
earthquakes as known and remarked in
ancient days, ho illustrated the throe
signs of coming earthquake which since
time immemorial have been popularly
believed in, namely, the sultry oppres
si ve state of the atmosphere, the drying
up of wells, and the uneasiness shown
by animals, observing that, th Olltrh t hooo
signs do not always, yet they undoubt
edly often occur. Professor Palmieri
went on to say that earthquakes have
no doubt shorter or longer periods ol
preparation. The earth is never per
fectly quiet for some time before end
after a great shock, but gradually sinks
into repose or increases in agitation.
The professor believes that by register
ing the preliminary tremblings, and
noting their increase or decreaso, it
would be possible to foretell an earth
quake about three davs in aiinm..
just as tempests are now foretold. If a
connected system of sismographie
stations were to be organized the dif
ferent stations communicating with
each other by telegraph as would be
quite possible, in most cases, to issue
warnings to the threatened district in
time. He scarcely expected to live to
see it; but he hoped that after he was
gone, posterity might benefit by such a
system, universally and permanently
established. The sismographie stations
should be erected by the different gov
ernments, in quiet places where the
ground is not liable to be shaken by
railway trains.
The keener of a lighthouse holds a
high position in the world. Marathon
Independent.
The man who picked un the hot
penny originated the remark : " All that
glitters is not cold."
It is estimated that Oregon will fur
nish a surplus of 250,800 tons of wheat
ior export the coming season.
An experimental plantation of olive
trees in Georgia is said to have yielded
an excellent quality of olive oil.
A tract of fifty thousand acres on the
Northern Pacific railroad has been
bought for a colony from Belfast,
Ireland.
The treas on the trail toward fortune
are all blazed with printer's ink, and
every guide-board rends " Advertise."
Midcrn Art.
The lower jaw of an antediluvial
mammoth was recently fished out of the
River Dnieper by Russian fishermen; it
is as black as a coal, and weighs seventy
five pounds.
It is said that during the next fifteen
years almost all the Russian railroads
now in operation will undergo the pro
cess of redemption and become "govern
ment property.
The locomotives used on the railroads
of the United States, it is said, are do
ing the work of over 29.00,000 horses,
while the census of 1880 aggregates
horses ot all ages nt less than 9,000,000.
A man fell down a short time ago and
was pretty badly used up. He says he
will be all right by next fall. We beg
leave to differ. Wo think he will be
worse off the next fall. Keokuk Con
stUution. An expert estimates that in a single
decade 500,000 persons engaged in in
dustrial pursuits in Great Britain sus
tain personal injury or are killed; in
mines, 30U.OO0: in railways, 70,000, and
in factories, 180,000.
It is verv fortunat.p that, tho wnn
lightning-rod ngents turned out short
this season. The iarmers have enough
trouble with the armv worm, without.
having to contend with any other pest.
The manufacture of sporting imple
ments bus assumed lars-e nronortiona in
this country. It is estimated that from
50,000 to 60,000 sets ol croquet, 200,000
uascuau oais, anu -vou.uou baseballs
wil. be mude for this season's t.rarlo hn
a single firm in Chicago.
It almost unnerves a man to watch a
woman undergoing the operation of nin.
ning on her bonnet, and a fel low hOHVPB
a sigh of relief when the four inches of
pin disappears 111 a lTlflSR nf trwcttfuw
and hair and the female comes out of
the perilous operation uninjured and
smiling.
When a dog eats crass it is Raid fo ho
a sign of rain. It certainly is an omen o f
something, when the brute gets a long
spear stuck in his throat, and then
crawls under the table when the family
have company at supper, and heaves his
shoulders, and howls, and kicks with
his hind legs, nnd screams horribly in a
foreign language, and is lifted out the
room by his tail by the hired girl. It is
the sign of a norm. Bockland Courier.
TUB FAUMBIt AND POLITICS.
The larmer in the paper
Head ihe editorial mentions
That the late ot nations rested
On the H. and U. conventions.
But the trees had leaved and blossomed,
And the grass continued growing;
All the sprouts ol corn were starting,
And the farmer went on hoeing.
When the matter was decided,
And they made the nomination,
One declared it was a blessing,
And another ruination.
Still the fruit grew ripe and mellow,
And the wheat was nicely growing;
While the farmer in his garden
'llout his turnips wont on hoeing.
OU City Derrick.
A Baring Mexican.
A Mexican, accompanied hv Ma do.
was on his way to Teinpe to do some
trading, when the dog treed a large Cali
forma lion. The man was unarmed,
save a large butcher knife, but nothing
daunted, and knowing whom ha rnn In
sell the skin for a dollar, he whipped
out his knife and started up the tree
unci iuo specimen oi tue king ot beasts.
Slipping up within reaching distance,
he COOllV DlUnpP.d thn bnilo inln tho
animal just behind the shoulder, which
so startled him that he leaped to the
ground and was instantly bounced by
6, nucu iub man Hastened irom
the tree, sprang upon the beast and
planted a home thrust through his heart,
without further damage to himself than
having his hat torn in nieces. Tho lion
measured about eight feet from the tip
of the nose to the tin of hia tail nH
had he got one good blow at the man he
WOUld have mashed hi
This same Mexican killed one of these"
ueabis aoout three months ago that
measured over nine feet from tip to tip,
using no other weapon than a small
pistol and knife, and he came near los-'
V1? nil ia tUat encounter. Fhcenix
.A. I.) Expositor,