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HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
N Ili " DE S P E H AK DTJ M.-
fjrtroi o 1 1 a r 8 p e r. : A n n u m 1
( i t
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I
111. w
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VOL. X.
The Battle or the Bones.
How many bones in the human face T
Fourteen, when thsy're all In place.
How many bonet In the fanman head T
Eight, my child, as I'ye often Bald. '
How many bones in the human ear ?
Three in eaoh, and they help to hear.
How many bones in the human spine TJ
Twenty-six, like a climbing vine.
How many bones in the human chest T
Twenty-lour ribs, and two of the rest.
How many bones the shoulders bind ?
Two In eachone before, one behind.
How many bones in the human arm?
In each arm one) two in each forearm
How many bones in the human wrist T
Eight in each, if none are missed.
How many bones in the palm of the hand ?
Five in eaoh, with many aband.
How many bones in the lingers ton T
Twenty-eight, and by joints they bend.
How many bones in the human hip T
One in eaoh like a dish they dip.
How many bones in the human thigh ?
One in each, and deep thoy lie.
How many bones in the human knees ?
One in eaoh, the knoepan, please.
How many bones in the log lrora tko kneo t
Two in escli we can plainly see.
How many bones in the ankle strong ?
Seven iu eucli, but none are long.
How many bones in the ball of the foot?
Five in each, as the palms were put.
How many bones in the toos half a score ?
Twenty-eight, and there are no more.
And now, altogether, these many bones fix,
And they count in the body, two hundred and
six
And ' uen we ha e, in the hnman mouth
Oi unper and under, tbirty-two teeth.
And now and then have bone I should think
That forma on a joint or to fill up a chink.
A sesamoid bone or a worm can we call,
And now we may rest lor we've told them all,
Indianapolit Sentinel.
An Unexpected Meeting.
It was a small, one-story frame struc
ture, presenting some of the character
istics of a cabin and cottage, built only
a little way in from the road, and ap
proached from it by a narrow wooden
Bridge, under wbich meandered, in
temperate seasons, a gentle stream, but
which, in the fervid vigor of the sum
mer and the rigor of the winter, was
dry and Bilent.
Away down in a meadow behind this
little sentry-box was a large farmhouse,
with a colony of smaller buildings
springing up about it, and back of those
was a wood, rising precipitously! to the
brow of a protecting hill.
Iu summer-time this homestead of
Farmer Gilman was a smiling, shady
place to look upon, as was, indeed, all
the country in which nestled the ham
let of Fairbank, distant a couple of
miles away ; but now that the iron fet
ters of winter were on everything, it
looked cold, cheerless and uninviting.
It had been snowing all day snow
was everywhere. It was on Lhe rich
pasture lands, on the closely-shaven
meadows, on last year's tillage; it
crowned fences, and maintained a pre
carious existence on the roots ol nouses;
it rendered sightless gaps in broken
roads, and lent a treacherous expansion
to highways; it, in short, blotted ou
the ordin ary landmarks, and was on
great, white, itnring eyesore on the face
of the landscape.
Night had come on. and with it in
creased activity on the part of the storm.
It was bitterly cold, too, and there was
an edge on the air like a knife.
It was a night to enjoy a grateful
meal and a comfortable fireside, and
this was what May Sefton was prepar
ing for her father's return in the little
cottage by the roadside.
The ample stove was aglow with the
orackling wood-fire ; the bright lamp
light illumined the neat, decorous little
kitchen ; the old easy-chair wore a look
of expectation as it stood by the table
that awaited the burden of the substan
tial 8UDDer. and the blue-eyed rose-bud
herself was blithely singing snatches of
a amy, as li in aeaance ox uie g.ooui
and storm without.
For a dozen years and upward May
Sefton had occupied this same abode
with her father, and had been Lis sole
companion and housekeeper.
About that time George Sefton had
made his first appearance in Fail bank,
bringing with him little else than a fair'
sweet child of four or five vears old,
and carrying about him an air of sup
pressed suftering that silenced in
quiries, albeit that it somewhat excited
curiosity. But this curiosity was sat
isfied and turned to tympatb when it
was learned that the stranger had re
cently buried his partner, anr' that the
golden-haired child he so tenderly cher
ished was motherless.
George Sefton had not furnished Fair
bank with this information in to many
words. From the day of his arrival
to the (time whereof we write, he had
never opened his lips on the subject of
his antecedents.
Abraham Gilman, or old Al p. as he
was more universally called. t distin
guish him from a younger t be, had
once askea ueorge, wnen tuey weie
working in the fields together, if ho was
not a widower like himself, whereat
Abe's new employee had bent his head,
and then maintained a silence so impres
sive that the lact was taken for granted,
and never after discussed.
As for May, if questioned on the sub
ject, she could only tell of a big town
and a large house, and a fine lady that
used sometimes ,to kiss her, and who',
one night, she was told by her father,
had died and was buried away for evcr
moer. . " Six o'clock." cries Mav. stnnrjinir
her warbling to laugh up in the face of
me oia ciock that chimed the hour.
"Six o'clock," she laughs.as she tnixB
the fragrant rashers in the oven, and
. Casts a Se&rchin? ilanpe t. tl.n tahln t.n
see that it contains all her own home
made dainties. "Father will be here
presently.- I wonder if Abe will
Hush, you naughty thing." she adds.
under her breath, and pressing . her
hands to her rosy mouth, as she beam a
vruncftlPg sound drawing nigh.
The sound draws nearer till it stops
outside, when there is a scraping and
stamping of feet, and then the door
opens, and a fragrant, warm smell, and
a bright gleam of light, and a smile of
delicious youth and innocence stream
out in the face of the night and salute
the intruders.
The first to enter is a man, tall, and
slightly bent, with a thin, aged face,
and a fair, long beard, plentifully leav
ened with gray hairs. He bends down,
with an air not quite in keeping with
his homely garb, and impresses a fer
vent kiss on the sweet, upturned face
that greets him. He then steps aside
with a courteous movement and dis
closes the figure of a robust youth, with
a beardless face wreathed in smiles,
half-diffident, half-assured, altogether
guileless.
"tUome in, Abe," says the little
hostess, as he beams at her from the
doorway.
Smiling, Abe insinuates himself past
her, without a word, merely rubbing
the top of his frost-smitten nose by way
of salutation.
In or about this hour. Abe Gilman
generally insinuated himself into the
presence of May, and beguiled his even
ings in the company of her and her
father. George Sefton had some books
which greatly interested him, especially
when read to him by the owner or his
daughter, and he occasionally borrowed
one, though frequently puzzled by some
of the words ; for Abe was not much of
a scholar, but he had a taste for litera
ture, and for May's society, which was
a sort of education in itself.
" You haven't had supper, Abe," said
May. invitingly, to the visitor, with a
peep at him that might have upset a
more confident youth.
" I'm mst goin' back to it." said Abe.
apologetically. " I only kern for a book
yer father promised to loan me."
" Better stay for supper now, Abe,"
said George Sefton, in his quiet but
kindly way.
" Don't require to be coaxed too much
before you consent," said May, with
mock gravity, and a merry twinkle in
her blue eye, that Kent Abe into a con
vulsive titter, and brought him to the
table without further parley.
" Who went to Fairbank to-day P" in
quired May, when she had set the meal
in full motion.
" Abe, my dar ; he brought you your
paper," answered her father. "I was
chopping wood all day ; much warmer
work eh. AbeP"
" Yes, sir," returned Abe, with an
emphasis on the second word that left
no mistake as to his thorough agreement
with his friend's opinion. "I never
thought I'd get home. There wasn't a
soul to be seen in the village, 'cept what
was keepin' the stove warm in the store.
There was a lady that kem by the cars,
an' she wanted to start straight away
for Mansfield, an' she offered ten dollars
to any one that'd take her, an', by golly,
sir. she couldn't to save her life git one
that'd face it."
"She was a trump," laughed May,
"and she'd face it herself?"
"Yes, by golly, she would that," said
Abe; "but she had so many shawls
an' furs, an' wrap with her, that I
think she could have slep' in the snow
for a week without being frozen."
" It's a nasty road from hero to Mans
field, such a night", said George Sefton ;
' but that was a stiff price."
" She may get somo one.that'll take
her yet," said May.
" She mav. and she mayn't." said Abe.
erinninff comfortably at the fire. " If
Jack Price was around, I don't think he'd
let so much money go. I think he'd
skin himself an' that horse of his for the
whiskv that ten dollars'd buy. "
" I fear he'd run the risk of it, Abe,"
said tieorge. smiling. s foor.JacK is a
rare fellow for his whisky." -
" Hush !'' cried May, " this is a sleigh.
coming now; I'm sure I heard the bolls
PerhaDS it s she. Jook and see. Abe."
"He couldn't see his finger outside.in v
dear," said her father, taking down his
pipe off the mantle and filling it, whilst
Abe rose to peep out.
The tinkling sound advanced rapidly,
but it was dark as pitch, and sleet and
snow were traveling furiously with the
wind.
Abe could see nothing from the door
step, so he ran down to the wooden
bridee that spanned the frozen stream
He could now discern the dark object
coming furiously toward him, but he
noticed, with anxiety, that it was in
clinirji uangerously near the side of the
top '. on which was the little ravine.
Onward came the snorting horse at
tne top of his speed. but closer and closer
to the brink ol the highway.
Abe raised ris hands and voice in
alarm to the driver, but his warning
was not heard, or heard too late, for the
next instant the hore and sleigh had
tumbled into the bed of frozen water.
The hoarse cry of a man in pain and a
stifled moan reached the ears of the
horrified Abe, as he shouted ' out,
"George! lieorge'."
But George, who had heard the crash .
was on hand a moment after the acci
dent with a lantern, and, taking the
situation in at a glance, first released the
furiously struggling horse, anc1. then
lifted up the heavy sleigh that had com'
nletelv turned over on the occupants.
Jack Price for he it was was so full
of whisky that, when he regained his
liberty, he scarce felt the pain of his
broken arm and bruised and bloody
face.
George Sefton had already raised the
other traveler in his arms, and i
troubled lor k had gathered on his brow
" Take that druken fellow-back to the
village, Abe,' he said, when Jack Price
and his vehicle were once more in run
ning order; "and make all the haste
you can back with the doctor, I fear
this is aserious case."
Is it thfl lady. fatherP" said Mav,
who had come forward and was hold
ing the lantern, us George clambered up
to the road with the unconscious bun
dle in his arms. - , .
I suppose so, May," he replied, fol
lowing her into the cottage. "Who
ever it is, is, I dread, badly hurt."
May drew the lounge close to the fire,
and on it the insensible woman was
laid.
Abe did not exaggerate when he
stated that the lady was well protected
from the weather. She was wrapped
and muffled up till her face was no
loneer visible, and May's first efforts
were directed to relieve her from some
of this now unnecessary covering.
George Seiton was bending anxiously
over the two women, watching for a
glimpse oi the stranfeer's face.
When it was revealed to him, ghastly
white, but still aggressively beautiful,
his breathing for a moment ceased, and
a scared expression lit up bis mild, blue
eyes.
Miy, too, was startled at the sight of
RIDGWAYjf ELK. COUKTY, PA-THURBBAXMAJIC
the death-like face; but when she
trlanced un at her father, and beheld his
ashen countennnce and trembling form,
she was filled with terror.
" What is it. fatherP" she exclaimed.
" Do you think, hen, she's deadP"
His dazed look wanaerea irom tne
prostrate figure on the lounge, and
rested on the innocent being kneeling at
her side. . .. .
"No. I don't think sue is," he replied,
at length, in a voice scarcely above a
whisper.
The scared expression in his face had
stolen into his voice, and it was hushed
and frightened.
Tears welled up into May's eyes, and
dropned on the cold hands she was
chafing.
The lady, after a while, showed symp
toms of returning consciousness. Be
yond her pallor and insensibility, she
presented no outward sign of injury.
"I don't think she's much hurt,
father," said May, leaning tenderly over
her patient, the tears still glistening like
pearls on her eyelashes ; but noting,
with hope and pleasure, the increasing
evidences of animation.
He made no response to May's re
mark, but continued to stare straight
down at the pallid, beautiful face of the
lady.
Suddenly a nair of eves, larsrer and
more liquid than May's, but of the same
azure hue, are opened out upon him,
and the conscious woman is scrutiniz
ing his weird, haggard countenance.
For a brief moment a crimson flush
banishes the pallor, and the hands that
May holds are clutched convulsively.
Then the red blood deserts the face
again, and it becomes ten times more
livid. The beautiiui, liquid eyes droop
abashed before the man's gaze, and trav
erse searchingly the room, till they rest
nn Mav kneefinir bv her.
"I'm not deceived, then," she leeoiy
mutters. Is this "
Hei voice broke the spell, or stupor
that had seized George Sefton at the
first glimpse of her, and, in a low and
j V . i : a .
uecisive tune, ue tuuu :
You mustn't speak just now.
madam, till the doctor arrives, and we
know what's the trouble. Prepare your
bed for this lady, May," he added, mo
tioning the young girl to her room,
gravely.
Mav had scarcely disappeared, when
he was at the woman's side, whisper
ing excitedly in her ear :
I ou mustn't lot ner Known nothing.
It's better for her it's better for you.
I don't want to reproach you now. I
don't know what strange fatality
brought you to my cabin to-night; but
whatever it was leave us leave her in
the peace and innocence that you have
found her. Since tne hour that vou de
serted her I've led her to believe you
dead. I've striven to hide you and
your sin irom your child with the
charitable mantle of the grave, and for
that sole purpose I've since hidden my
self here. Don't seek to undeceive
her. Let her still think of you with re
gret. Let her merrory of you continue
to be a fragrant one "
The errinu weman listened with
closed eyes and blanched cheeks to the
man's passionate words.
"May I kiss her?" was all she fal
tered.
" Yes. if"
May entered, and George Sefton moved
away, and nung lumseit into a chair in
a far corner ot the room.
Mav resumed her watch bv the ladv's
side, taking the cold, slender hands once
more in hers. She noticed that the
lovely eyes, which were turned with in
finite tenderness on her, were dimmed
with tears, and that the hands she
clasped pressed hers caressingly
lhe monotonous tick, tick, or the old
clock was all ti.at broke the silence of
the room.
The lady closed her eyes, and Mav
was beginning to think that she was no'
ing to sleep, when a sweet voice wliis.
pered in her ear :
kiss me. darling.
The young girl crept closer, and wind
ing her arms round the woman s neck,
wrapped the poor soul in her chaste em
brace.
Was it the instinct of love or pitv ?
When George Sefton awoke from his
painful reverie an hour later to admit
Abe Gilman and the doctor, he found
the two women asleep, the elder resting
on tne oosom oi tue younger. The
girl was easily aroused, but the other
awoke no more.
The friends who came for the dead
woman knew not the unhappy husband
under his assumed name and altered ap
pearance.and May never learned that her
mother had passed out of the sphere of
sin ana sname in ner arms
Her father lived long enough to see
her the happy wife of Abe Gilman, and
then passed away, carrying his secret
with him.
Artificial Diamonds.
Professor Maskelyne's positive state.
ment that the method of producing dia
monds cuemicauy has been discovered,
does not admit of much doubt or dis
cussion. He is, prjabably, the highest
living auiQonty on precious stones: and
just as bis dictum quashed the claim re
cently preierrea by Mr. UcTear, so does
it now sustain the claim preferred bv
Mr. Hannay. Probably the diamonds
produced by this ingenious Scotchman
are of no value as gems mere tiny
scraps of crystallized carbon. But even
in this form they will be of great value
commercially, being as useful for tern
cutting and poliBhing as natural dia
monds, lor a little while, therefore,
the iewelers with diamonds in stock.
the well-to-do folk who own diamond
rings and necklaces, will not be dis
turbed by the depreciation of their
property upon their hands. In the long
run, uuwevoi, mo uepi euiauon is cur
tain to cooie. If Mr. Hannav has dis
covered the principle in accordance with
which the transformation of carbon into
diamonds is effected, the perfection of
the process is inevitable. While the
useful arts will reap great benefits from
this triumph oi modern alchemy, ro
mance will suffer. For the children of
the next generation the story of uin
dab's excursion into the valley of dia
monds will have no charm ! F hiladel
pnia limes.
Two gushing Boston girls were walk
infe'one day in the suburbs of the Hub,
when they stumbled on a little old-fashioned
mile-stone, forgotten in the march
of improvement. One of them stopped.
and parting the grass discovered the
half-effaced inscription, "I. m. from
Boston," upon which she exclaimed,
ecstatically : " Here is a sxave. perhana.
of some young girl who wished it writ
ten on her tombstone, 'I 'rafrotn Boston.
How touching! so simple and so suffi
cienti"
TIMELY TOPICS.
r f e ; f !
I
It is proposed to butld in certain dis
tricts on the western frontier of Kan
sas churches made of sods. A few such
already exist. The walls are of sods.
the ' roofs are covered with ' sods,
and the floors are of earth. A church
can be built, in size about 20x36, for
an outlay in money of only $10, and
this has already been done in at least
one instance. A wall of sods, if prop
erly built, and protected, will last 100
years, koois ot shingles and floors of
wood are firreatlv to be desired, but. of
course, they add very much to the cost
of a church. ,
1 ':"
Germany, with a population of 42.-
000,000 has 60,000 schools and an at
tendance Of 6.000.000 nunilS! Great
Britain and Ireland, with a population
of 34,000,000 has 68,000 schools and
3,000,000 pupils ; Austria:Hungary, with
a population of 37,000,000, has 30;000
schools and 3,000,000 pupils; France,
with a population of 37,000,000, has 71,
000 schools and 4,700,000 pupils; Spain,
with a population of 17,000,000, has 20,
000 schools and 1,600,000 pupils; Italy,
with a population of 88.000,000, has 47.
000 schools and 1,900,000 pupils; and
Russia, with a population of 74,000,000,
has 32,000 schools and 1,100,000 pupils.
Glucose manufacture is making an ex
citement in the maize districts of the
West, the factory at Buffalo and its re
markable success being the prime stim
ulant. Half a dozen establishments
have been planted within a month in
Indiana, Illinois and Iowa. Cyrus Mc
Cormick and others have, it is said.
put $650,000 into one at Chicago. It is
to have a capacity of 20,000 bushels a
day, which is the equivalent of 300 tons
of sugar. A bushel of corn, costing
about forty cents, produces thirty
pounds of grape sugar, or three gallons
of syrup. This sugar, which costs them
net two cents per pound, they can sell
at from three atffi one-half to four cents,
while the three gallons of syrup can be
sold at from thirty-five to forty cents a
gauon.
One of the Irish parish priests to
whom Mr. Redpath, the New York
Tribune correspondent, sent a letter of
inquiry concerning the distress caused
by lamine, says : " It would be impos
sible for me to individualize, where hun
dreds and hundreds in my parish are in
this state. May God, in His mercy,
open wide to us the American heart.
in it, under tiod, is our hope. A better
day, I trust, is coming; and when it
comes and when the merry word and
joyous laugh are again heard, believe
me, though we forget everything else
connected with the dread time3 of the
year 1880, we shall never, never forget
America, who, by being the true ' friend
in need.' proved herself to be the 'friend
indeed."' Anothes priest writes: "My
house is actually besieged from early
dawn till late at night bv hundreds of
ragged, hungry-iookiag persons, most
piieousiy "raving anu clamoring ior re
lief. No amount of private charitv. I
fear, will be sufficient to meet the
present appalling distress."
Professor Swiner. the well-known
Chicago minister, thinks it must be ac
cepted as a lact that there is great suf
fering in Ireland to-day, and that the
money forwarded from this laud, and
irom au lands, and irom hne and her.
self, is the tribute due from the lortu
nato to tne uniortunate in an era
which declares all men to be brethren
If the grasshoppers in Nebraska made
outside help necessary, it the yellow
fever in the South demanded an upris
ing in Northern charity, sot lie famine
in Ireland proclaims that another time
lias come lor help to pass over from the
strong to the weak. The utter failure
ot crops lor several seasons has made it
impossible for parents to buj new cloth
ing for the children, and hence the
awful scene of several little ones wrapped
in one ragged blanket, at once without
food and without covering. Before
these repeated failures of crops there
were thousands in this afflicted coun
try who were just on the edge of star
vation. in good times these had not
enough food or clothing, and now that
tue crops nave ianea ior three consecu
tive seasons, it ought not to require
much more than a rumor to convince
one that there must be great distress in
many parts oi tue irisn country.
A Martial Ornament.
Hungarians are celebrated for their
remarkably fine mustaches, and are in
the habit of devoting much care to the
cultivation of this martial ornament.
The national custom originated with
a number ot cavalry regiments who dis
tinguished themselves in the wars
against the Turks, and whose colonels
finding that the fashion served to in.
spire the troopers with manly pride and
dashing gallantry, made the training
and cultivating of their mustaches
regulation affair. A beardless youth
was excluded from cavalry service.
Here is the method employed, and which
is in daily use throughout the land
among men who set their pride upon the
display of a fine curly and provokingly
sticking out mustache. - After the
morning ablution, and while the beard
is still wet, a piece ot string is drawn
across the face, under the nose, and
fastened over both ears. Both hands
then twist the hair around the string,
to which an extra pun is given, with a
nnai fastening behind the ears. In this
ingenious condition ot early toilet, one
may comfortably get through breakfast
and a lot of early work indoors, and
emerge at noon with a more or less
fierce and martial countenance, the
pride of the girls and the object of envi
ous swells ignorant of the plan. During
the 1 rencb wars toward the end ot the
last and the beginning ef this century,
there was one Hungarian hussar regi
ment specially! distinguished for the
magnificence and fierceness of its mus
taches. The regulation exacted a dis
play of five inches of hair, in corkscrew
form and shape, on each side of the
upper lip, and, when nature's supply
proved insufficient, the regu'ation
lengtn nan to ne made of oits oi horse
tail worked into nrickinir points au each
end b means of a sticky mass of grease
and wax, which became known in Paris
during the restoration under the elegant
name of " f ommade Hongroise."
The proverb. " Everv bullet has its
billet." is said to have originated in a
superstition common among soldiers
fifty years back that their name was
written on the bullet that ttretebed
them dead. s
The Brakeman Who Went to Church
To me comes the brakeman, and- seat
ing himself on the arm of the seat, says ;
' I went to church yesterday." , , . , i
"YesP',' I said, with that interested
inflection that asks for more. And
What church did you attendP'l j ,
V Which do you guess P" he asked. I
,' Some .,; union mission church I
hazarded. . ' t '
" Naw," he said, " I don't like to ' run
on these branch roads very much.
don't often go to church, and when I
do, I want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you go
on a schedule time and don't have to
wait on connections. I don't like to run
on a branch. - Good enough, but I don't
like it." ' (
. " Episcopal P" I gueBsed. ' . .
"Limited express," he said, "all pal
ace cars and two dollars , extra for a
seat; fast time, and only stops at the
big stations. Nice line, but too ex
haustive for a brakeman. All train men
in uniform, conductor's punch and
lantern silver plated, and no : train
boys allowed. Then the passengers are
allowed to talk back at the conductor;
and it makes them too free and easy.
No, I couldn't stand the palace cars.
Rich road, though. Don't often hear
of a receiver being appointed for that
line. Some mighty nice people travel
on it, too." '.
" UniversalistP" I guessed. ., ......
"Broad gauge," said the brakeman,
"does too mucli complimentary busi
ness. Everybody travels on a pass.
Conductor doesn't get a fare once in
fifty miles; Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but a
union depot. No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are vague, thought
and the trainmen don't get along well
with the passengers. No, I don't go to
the Universalist, though I know some
awfully good men who run on that
road." ' '
" Perhaps you went to the Unitari
ans!"'
No, I didn't, but I might have done
worse. That is a mighty good road,
well ballasted with reason, though it
runs through a regioa a little bit cold,
and there is apt to be some ice and
snow on the track, but in case of acci
dent there is no danger of upsetting the
stoves and being burnt up ; and there's
one good thing about it, the neighbors
are generally ready to come and neip
when you do get into trouble. They
like to have things nice and com tor t
able in this world, doing what they
think is about right and taking their
chances for the other. They don't seem
to take much stock in being as miser
able as you can here in the hope that
you will be the happier for it there.
They seem to think that a man's going
to reap the same kind of crop that he
plants, and that if he puts in a selfish.
worthless kind of a life on this earth it
ain t a-going to come out a very fine
specimen in heaven. Seems to me
some sense as well as poetry in that
but I wag raised an 'orthodox' and
'twouldn't do for me to be seen on that
train or I might lose my place on the
other line, as there's a good deal of
competition between the two roads, and
our folks are . getting afraid, of losing
travel."
" Presbyterian?" I asked.
" Narrow crauee. ehP" said the brake
man. " pretty track, straight as a rule;
tunnei right through a mountain rather
than go around it; spirit-level grade;
passengers have to show their tickets
before thev get on the train. Mighly
strict roaa, Dut me cars are a uiue nar
. r .
row;haveto sit one m a seat and no
room in the aisle to dance. Then there's
no stop-over tickets allowed; got to go
straight through to the station you re
ticketed for. or you can t get on at a ll.
When the car's full, no extra coaches ;
cars built at the shops to hold iust so
many and nobody else allowed on. But
you don't often hear of an accident on
this road. It's ruu right up to the
rules."
"Milvbe vou j-ined the free thinkers?"
I said.
"Scrub road," said the brakeman,
" dirt road bed and no ballast; no time
card and no train dispatcher. All
trains run wild and every engineer
makes his own time, just as he pleases.
Smoke if you want to ; kind of a go-as-you-please
road. Too many side tracks
and every switch wide open all the
time, with the switchman sound asleep
and the target lamp dead out. Get on
as you pleate and get off when you
want to. Don't have to show your
tickets, and the conductor isn't expected
to do anything but amuse the passen-
fers. No, sir, I was offered a pass, but
don't like the line. I don't like to
travel on a line that has no terminus.
Do you know, sir, I asked a division
superintendent where that road run to,
and he said he hoped to die if he knew.
I asked him if the general superinten
dent could tell me, and he said he
didnt believe they had a general su
perintendent, and if they had. he didn't
know any more about the road than
the passengers. I asked him who he
reported to, and he said nobody.' I
asked a conductor who he got his or
ders from, and he said he didn't take
orders from any living man or dead
ghost. And when I asked the engineer
who he got his orders from, he said
he'd like to see anybody give him or
ders, he'd run that train to suit him
self or he'd run it into the ditch. Now
you see, sir, I'm a railroad man, and I
don't care to run on a road that makes
no connections, runs nowhere and has
no superintendent. It may be all right,
but l'Vrf railroaaed too long to under
stand it,"
Did you try the Method istr" I
asked.
Now you're shoutine." he said with
some enthusiasm. ".Nice road, eh'
Fast time and plenty ot passengers.
Engines carry a power of steam, and
don't you forget it; steam gauge show3
a hundred and enougn alt tne time
Lively road; when the conductor
Bhtuts 'all aboard,' you can hear him
to the next station. Every train lamp
shines like headlight. Stop-over
checks given on all through tickets;
passengers drop off the train as often
as they like, do the station two or
three days and hop on the next revival
train that comes thundering alon)
Good, whole-souled, companionab.
conductors; ain't a road in the country
where the passengers feel more at
home. No passes; every passenger
pays full traffic rates, for his ticket.
Weslevan house air brakes on all trains.
too, Pretty safe road, but I didn't
ride over it yesterday."
" Maybe you went to the Congrega
tional churchP" 1 said. ;
' " Popular road,'.' said the brakeman
"an old road, too : one of the verv old
est in this country. Good road-bed and
comfortable cars, i Well-managed road
toot directors don't interfere with di
vision superintendents and train order
'"'ri i"i in mi
Road's talithtf peuarl'but ItV pretty
independent, too.' See, didn't one oi the
division superintendents , down . East
discontinue one of the oldest stations on
this line two or three years agoF But
It's a mighty pleasant road to travel on.
Always lias such a pleasant i class of
passengers," , , . , ...
"Perhaps you tried the Baptist F", I
guessed onoe more. ' ' " " v---
"Ah, hat" said the brakeman, '"she's
a daisy, isn't sheP i River road ; beauti
ful curves ; sweep around anything to
keep close to the river, but it's all steel
rail and rock ballast, single track all the
way, and not aside track from the road
house to the terminus. Takes a heap of
water to run her through ; double tanks
at every station,' and there isn't an en
gine in the shops that can pull a pound
or run a mile in less than two gauges.
But it runs through a lovely country;
these river roads always do river on
one side and hills on the other, and it's
a steady climb up the grade all the way
till the run ends where the fountain
head of the river begins. Yes, sir, I'll
take the river road every time for a
lovely trip ; sure connections and good
time, and no prairie dust blowing in at
the windows. And yesterday when the
conductor came round for the' tickets
with a little basket punch, I didn't ask
him to pass me, but I paid my fare like
a little man twenty-five cents for an
hour's run, and a little concert by the
passengers throwed in'. I tell you ; Pil
grim, you take the river road when you
want .'u ! .'-. i.. ,
But iust here the loner whistle from
the eneine announced a station, and
'the brakeman hurried to the door,
shouting: "" ; "i i - : t i .
&ionsville I This train makes no
stops between here and Indianapolis!"
Burlington Hawkey e.
- . Andrew Jackson's Tow. "
Shortly after the occupation of Pensa-
cola and the expulsion of the Spanish
authorities from Florida by General
Jackson, Mr. Edward Palfrey, an old
citizen of New Orleans, now dead, was
wont to relate that while standing De
hind the counter of the National batik,
his attention was attracted to a group
of military officers who entered the
bank and inquired for the cashier. The
chief oi tne party was a man gaunt
stern-featured, spare and wasted of
form, but erect and firm of carriage.
The cashier having appeared, the
chief introduced himself: "I am An
drew Jackson, major-general ol the
United States army, commanding the
forces now occupying Pensaoola. My
soldiers arc suffering greatly for the
want of provisions, clothing and medi
cines. Immediate relief is required, and
I must have $20,000 to purchase them
supplies. Here is my draft on the gov
ernment. 1 desire to have it cashed.
The cashier was appalled by this de
mand. ' There was no authority to
honor this check. -The courteous but
firm manner and the prestige of the
chieftain, however, restrained any such
intimation from the cashier. Request
ing the general and his staff to be seated,
lie retired to the rear office of the presi
dent, and communicated the appalling
demand of the conqueror of Florida.
The president was equally alarmed,
and dispatched a messenger to convoke
the directory. They quickly assembled,
and the BUbject was referred to them.
It should be borne in mind that at.
that time General Jackson was regarded
with a great deal Jjf bitterness and dis
trust by a large political party in the
country. He was looked upon as a dnn
gerous and assuring military chieftain
who menaced the integrity and freedom
of our civil institutions, and especially
of such institutions as the great national
bank. The directors of the branch bank
here were doubtless somewhat per
vaded with this sentiment. Still the
rules of the bank justified them in de
clining to advance the fund required by
General Jackson, and the president
was instructed to communicate this
conclusion of the board.
He did so with all the suavity . usual
on such occasions.
Then rising from his seat and ndvano
ing to the counter, rehind which the
polite president stood, the old chief
asked:
"Do I understand you, sir, to; say
that this bank, having the money of the
United States in its vaults, declines to
advance a sum sufficient to Supply the
immediate needs of 2,000 patriot soldiers
whom 1 have left in the swamps of
Florida exposed to fevers and starva
tion?" With profound regret the rules
must be observed.
Whereupon, with 1 flashing eye and
that terrible aspect never to be forgot
ten by any one who ever beueid uid
Hickorv in a rape, the eeneial. risinc
high his gauntleted hand, brought it
down with great force upon the counter,
exclaiming, "By the Eternal! I will
live to serve your rascally bank asi
have the Spaniards in Florida, as equally
enemies of the people and of liberty."
With this fearful menace and vow he
strode with his staff out of the bank.-
As he emerged from the bank, the gen
eral encountered two Irish-born citizens
and merchants of New Orleans, who
had heard of the order of the bank, and
had hastened to join the general, with
offers to cash his draft and furnish all
that he needed for his arm . Daily
Slates. . i . : .
He Remembered Exactly. . ,
A lying witness will often tell a very
glib story, but he generally fails to
guard all his weak points. At a recent
trial in court the following took plaai in
attempting to prove an alibi: . , -
Attorney B. -r Xou say that f.ms
S' lowed for you all day on the 20th of
TovemberP ' ' .......
Witness referring to his note-book
Yes. ,
S.-What did he do on the 30thf i
W. We chopped wood. . - ; 1 1
8.-Onthe31stP , '
W. That was Sunday, and we went
squirrel hunting. .-, , ' ,,,,
- . what did ne uo on tne rod'
' W. He thrashed wheat on that day.'
S. What did he do on the 33d P -
W. It was raining, and be shaved
out some handles. , . . . . .,,
S What did be do on the 34th? -W.
He chopped wood. - r
K. What did he do on the-P t i
But before the Question could be fin
ished. the witnesses's wife seized him by
the collar and whisked ' him outside of
the witness-box, yelling in his affright
ed ear-r -i - ,".: i - .' :.- i ..u
" You old fool don't you know there
are only thirty days, in the month ot
November P" ' ....... ..i - . . .
,1. ui - " 1 i' ,;
' " Does your maehinesew evenly. Mrs.
Smith?'!. -"Even sew," was the laconic
response oi Mrs. bmith, as she held up
her work for inspection
r L'
-Weir d. .Fancy , ,
If tbe tleadr1yid tinder the grasses?
UtisRen linger near the bereft, "
Having knowledge and sense ol what passes
In the hearts and homes they have left,
What tear-drops, than sea-waterS Salter,
Must lall when they see all the strife
When they see how we foil, how we falter,
How we miss in the duties of. Hie.
;; '' V
If the great') who go ont with their faces.
Bedewed by a weeping world's tears,
Stand near and see how thoir places
I Are filled, whilo the multitude oheerS;
If the parent, whose baek la bent do 1
.1
With delving for riches and gold,
Lends an eu to the wrangle and trot - le i
About him, before he Is cold;,,) ,i;
i
If the Wife, Who left weeping arid eon r W "
Behind her, bends down from abov i'1
And beholds the tears dried on the mo. ioW,
And the eyes newly burning with 1ot;I
If the gracious and royal-sonled mother t
F.rom the silence and hush ol the tomb, ,
Can hear the harsh voioe of another, , , fc j
Slow-blighting the fruit of her womb , j
It the old hear their dearly-forgotten J
. Rejoicing that burdens are gono ;
If the young know how soon they're tor-
.......Rotten,. , .. -. , ,.. ,..,.,,,.,.,,
While the mirth and the revel go on -
What sighing of sorrow and anguish
Most sound through the chambers ol space ,
What desolate spirits must languish . ,V
In that mystio and nndweribed place I .
Then lile were, a tarce with its burden, , , y
And death but a terrible (est ! ,
But they cannot. The grave gives its guerdon
Of silence and beautiful rest- .' .... j
, , ITEMS OF INTEREST.
M. de LesBcps never indulges iu alco
holio beverages. ,.... t .
The number of families living in New
York city is 213,467. . ; .
A noarse snoo never Dnngs goon, iuck
to a foraging hen. Wheeling Leader.
' Peter Cooper has a fine collection of
Greek and Roman coins which he has
been gathering during the last fifty-nine
years.. t- , - . -, , , , . , ..,.
A slab of wood marks the grave of
Stonewall Jackson's - mother, who was
buried on an eminence 700 feet above the
river at nawk's Nest,, Virginia. : -, . i
' " Two sisters of Glasgow got mad at
a plumber and threw him out of the
fifth story window." But he got even
with the sisters. He charged them
double time from the minute he left the
window until be struck the sidewalk.
Norristown Herald. , : .v
The records of life ' insurance com
panies as presented in the reports for the
last year show that the death claims
were considerably greater than in pre
vious years, which would seem to indi
cate .that last year , was an unhealthy
one. . -.
He told her that be loved her .
In tones so soft and mellow j "
But she ssid she couldn't marry him,
For she'd a9ked another fellow.
(This is lenp-yoar.)
-Steuben
rnvlie I
Herald.
In digging the Suez canal Egyptian
workmen were forced to make hods of
their backs, placing their hands behind
them and clasping tue.. ieit wnscwitn
the right hand. Boys under twelve
years of age were made to do this It is
hardly necessary to add that thousands
perished under such inhuman, treat
ment. ,'J . ,.. .. , ,' : i .. ,
A physician at Areata, Cal., had for
a patient a girl for whom he entertained
a high regard, as sho was tho daughter
of an intimate 'friend.' He could not
cure her, however,: and she died with
out the exact nature of her disease be
ing discovered. Immediately on hear
ing of her deatli he accused himself of a
lack of medical skill, and committed
suicide. ' '- J
A certain painter was bragging of his
wonderful command of color to a friend
one day. His friend did not seem to
take it quite rllin. " w hy," exclaimed
the painter, " do you know that there
are but three painters in the world, sir,
who understand color?" "And who
are they?" at last asked the friend.
" Why, sir, I am one, and and and
and I forget the name of the other two !"
There hangs in the office of the Walla
Walla (W.T.) Statesman the sign under
which the Nez Perces fought acd sur
rendered to General Howard in tho war
of 1877. It is nothing more than the
skin of a red fox, with the exception
that at the base of the neck there is a
scalp lock. When fighting at Bear Paw
mountain, this was hung up on a higli
pole, as a sign that they would use all
the cunning and strategy of that animal
while fighting.- ' - " '. ' !
An erring husband, -who had ex
hausted U explanations for late hours'
and had no apology ready, recently
slipped into the house,, about two
o'clock, very softly, denuded himself
tently, and began rocking the cradle
by the bedside,; as if ,(ic had been
awakened out of a sound sleep
by infantile cries. ' He had-rocked
away for ten minutes, when Mary Jane,
who. had silently observed tne wuoie
maneuver,, said,,". Come to bed, ;you
fool! the baby ain't there." Toronto
Graphic. - - - X.
a, t ! Words of Wisdom. ; ,i
Good will, like a crood name, is Kot by
many actions and lost by one, , ,
Convey thy love to thy friend as an
arrow to tho mark, to Btick there;' noi
as a ball against the wall, to rcbout. -
back to thee. a ".n e '
Self devotion is hut a form of gener
osity ; the generosity of those who give
to themselves, navu:g nothing more ana
nothing better to give, and belongs
equally to the nobler natured !of both
sexes.t.l.i !.;! i.uoi xt mfc(.
i It; is well enough bo be humble, but
it is possible to boast of your humanity
until it sours into the worst kind of
self-pride. ' There is hardly a virtue in
the calendar which a man will not lose
if he talks much about it. : : . . .iS
tr Whatever your sex or position, life is
a battle iu which you are to show your
pluck.' and woe be to the coward!
nether passed on a bed of sickness or
in the tented field; it ir. ever the same
fair flag, and admits Qf.no distinction.
Without earnestness no man is ever
ereat. or does reallyj great things. He
mav be the cleverest of nin ! he may be
brilliant, entertaining, popular ;'lut hei
will want. 'weight.-" Ko oul-niovinir
picture was ever painted that had nt4
in it the depth of shadow.