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HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
NIL, DESPERANDTJM.
Two Dollars per Annum.
VOL. IX.
RIDGrWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, JUNE 19, 1879.
NO. 18.
The Subscriber.
It was the old subscriber,
His eyes were old and dim,
Bat " he wan't tnlcin' no paper
That was pokin' chaff at him."
For he picked his paper up one dny
And it went to his heart like a rocket;
"Whom the gods lore, die young, it snid,
But they whose hearts are dry," he read,
" As summer's dust, burn to the socket."
Then he looked through the paper with
wrath and doubt,
And bis heart with anger burned ;
For he found a t had been lolt out
And he found an o that was " turned."
And he lifted his roice with a mighty shout
As the sheet with his feet he spurned.
He stopped his paper; he would not read
Such a blundering, villainous sheet;
Uf the news it contained he had no need,
He could hear the news on the street.
Only ten days later, ho sold his corn.
But he pounded his heud full of dents,
When he learned, alter selling for twelve
and a-hall, -
It was quoted at forty-two cents.
And his farm was sold for taxes, because
He didn't know when they were due,
And ho bet on a race three days after date,
And he bet on the wrong horse, too.
He was fined nine dollars and seventy cents
For going out shooting on Sunday,
For he did't know, with no paper to read,
Whether t'wos Sunday or Monday.
He came to town to the Fourth of July,
But it had been gone for a week,
And he felt so mad, that he wanted to cry,
For he didn't know how to speak.
He thought that Grant was President yet,
And he never had heard of Hayes;
It was worry, and blunder, and trouble, and
fret,
All ol his weary days.
So ho came to town, one summer morn,
And " signed" lor his puper again,
And went b;u:k home to his wheat and corn,
The happiest man among men.
Burlington JIawktye
THE TWO MR. SMITHS.
' It is not either her money or her
position that dashes me, Carrol ; it is
my own iimuic. Think of asking Eleanor
Bethune to become Airs. Williiun Smith!
If it had been Alexander Smith "
Or Hyacinth Smith."
' Yes, Hyacinth Smith would have
done; but plain William Smith!"
" Well, as far as I can see, you are not
to blame. Apologize to the lady for the
blunder of your godfathers and god
mothers. .Stupid old parties! (They
ought to have thought-of Hyacinth;"
and Carrol threw his cigar into the fire
and began to buckle on his spurs.
" Come with me, Carrol.
"No, thank you. It is against my
principles to like any one better than
myself, and Alice Fontaine is a tempta
tion to do so."
" I don't like Alice's style at all."
"Of course not. Alice's beauty, as
compared with Mrs. licthune's settled
income, is skin-deep."
If sarcasm was intended. Smith did
not perceive it. He took the criticism
at its face value, and answered, " Yes,
Eleanor's income is satisfactory ; and be
sides that, she has all kinds of good
qualities, and several accomplishments.
If I only could offer her, with myself, a
suitable name for them."
" Could you not, in taking Mrs. Be
thune and Iter money, take her name
also ?"
" N-n-no. A man does not like to lose
all his individuality in hiswife's.Carrol."
" Well, then, I have no other sugges
tion, and I am going to ride."
So Carrol went to the park and Smith
went to his mirror. The occupation
gave him the courage he wanted. He
was undoubtedly a very handsome man,
and ho had, also, very fine manners ; in
deed, he would have been a very great
man if the world had only been a drawing-room,
for, polished and fastidious,
he dreaded nothing so much as an inde
corum, and had the air of being uncom
fortable unless his hands were in kid
gloves.
Smith had a standing invitation to
Mrs. Bethune's five-o'clock teas, and he
was always considered an acquisition,
lie was also very fond of going to them ;
for under no circumstances was Mrs.
Bethune so charming. To see her
in this hour of perfect relaxation was to
understand how great and beautiful is
the art of idleness. Her ease and grace,
her charming aimlessness, her indescrib
able air of inaction, were all so many
proofs of her having been born in the
purple of wealth and fashion ; no par
venu could ever hope to imitate them.
Alice Fontaine never tried. She had
been takeD from a life of polite shifts and
struggles by her cousin, Mrs. Bethune,
two years before ; and the circumstances
that were to the one the mere accidents
of her position were to the other a real
holiday-making.
Alice met Mr. Smith with empresse
ment, fluttered about the tea-tray, like a
butterfly, wasted her bonmots and the
sugar recklessly, and was as full of pret
ty animation as her cousin Bethune was
of elegant repose.
During the afternoon Eleanor's
hand had rested a moment very
tenderly in his; he had seen her
white cheek flush and her eyelids droop,
and he felt almost sure that he was be
loved. And as he had determined that
night to test his fortune, he was not in
clined to let himself be disappointed.
Consequently he decided on writing to
her, for lie was rather proud of his let
ters; and indeed it must be confessed
that he had an elegant and eloquent
way of putting any case in which he was
personally interested.
Eleanor Bethune thought so. She re
ceived his proposal on her return from
very stupid party, and as soon as she
saw his .writing she began to consider
how much more delightful the evening
would have been if Mr Smith had been
present. Ilis glowing eulogies on her
beauty, and his passionate descriptions
of his own affection, his hopes, and his
despairs, chimed in with her mood ex
actly. Already his fine person and
manners had made a great impression on
her; she had been very near loving him;
nothing, indeed, had heen needed but
that touch of electricity conveyed in the
knowledge that she was beloved.
Such proposals seldom or never take
women unawares. Eleanor had been
expecting it, and had already decided
on her answer. So, after a short, hap
py reflection, she opened her desk and
wrote Mr. Smith a few lines which she
believed - would make him supremely
happy.
Then she went to Alice's room, and
woke her up out of her first sleep. " Oil,
you lazy girl: why did you not crimp
your hairP Get up again, Alice dear; I
nave a secret to tell you. I am going
to marry Mr. Smith."
"I knew some catastrophe was im
pending, Eleanor; I have felt it all day.
Poor Eleanor!"
"Now, Alice, be reasonable. What
do you think of him honestly, you
know !"
"The man lias excellent qualities; for
instance, a perfect taste in cravats, and
an irreproachable propriety. Nobody
ever saw him in any position out of the
proper center of gravity. Now there is
Carrol, always sitting round on tables or
easels, or if on a chair, on the back or
arms, or any way but as other Christians
sit. Then Mr. Smith is handsome; very
much so."
" Oh! you do admit that?"
"Yes; but I don't myself like men of
the hairdresser style of beauty."
" Alice, what makes you dislike him
so much P"
" Indeed, I don't, Eleanor. I think he
is very 'nice1 and very respectable.
Every one will say, 'What a suitable
match!' and I darn say you will be very
happy. He will ilo everything you tell
him to do, Eleanor; and oh, dear me!
how I should hate a husband of that
kind!"
" You little hypocrite ! with your talk
of weman's 'rights' and woman' 'su
premacy.1 "
t "No, Eleanor love, don't call it hypoc
risy, please; say many-sidedness it is a
more womanly definition. But if it is
really to be so, then I wish you joy, cou
sin. And what are you going to wearP"
This subject proved sufficiently attrac
tive to keep Alice' awake a couple of
hours. She even crimped her hair in
honor of the bridal shopping; and before
matters had been satisfactorily arranged
she was so full of anticipated pleasures
that she felt really grateful to the author
of them, and permitted herself to speak
with enthusiasm of the bridegroom.
" He'll be a sight to see, Eleanor, on
his marriaee day. There won't be a
handsomer man or better-dressed man in
America, and his clothes will all come
from Paris, I dare say."
" I think we will go to Paris first."
Then Eleanor went into a graphic de
scription of the glories and pleasures of
Paris, as she had experienced them dur
ing her first bridal tour. " It is the most
fascinating city in the world, Alice."
"I dare say, but it is a ridiculous
shame having it in sucli an out-of-the-way
place. What is the use of having a
Paris, when one lias to sail three thou
sand miles to get at it? Eleanor, I feel
that I shall have to go."
" So you shall, dear; I won't go with
out you."
"Oh, no, darling; not with Mr.
Smith. I really could not. I shall have
to try and manage matters with Mr.
Carrol. We shall quarrel all the way
across, of course, but then "
" Why don't you adopt his opinions,
Alice?"
" I intend to for a little while; but it
is impossible to go on with the same set
of opinions forever. Just think how
dull conversation would become!"
" Well, dear, you may go to sleep now,
for mind, I shall want you down to
breakfast before eleven. I have given
'somebody1 permission to call at five
o'clock to-morrow or rather to-day
and we shall have a iele-a-tcte tea."
Alice determined that it should be
strictly tete-a-tete,. She went to spend
the afternoon with Carrol's sisters, and
staved until she thought the lovers had
had ample time to make their vows and
arrange their wedding.
There was a little pout on her lips as
she left CaiTol outside the door, and
slowly bent her steps to Eleanor's
pi ivate parlor. She was trying to make
up her mind to be civil to her cousin's
new husband elect, and the temptation
to be anything else was very strong.
" I shall be dreadfully in the way his
way, I mean and he will want to send
me out of the room, and I shall not go
no, not if I fall asleep on a chair looking
at him."
With tills decision, the most amiable
she could reach, Alice entered the
parlor. Eleanor was alone, and there
was a pale, angry look on her face Alice
could not understand.
' Shut the door, dear." "
" Alone?"
" I have been so all evening."
"Have you quarreled with Mr.
Smith?"
" Mr. Smith did not call."
"Not come?"
" Nor sent any apology."
The two women sat looking into each
other's faces a few moments, both white
and silent.
" What will you do, EleanorP"
" Nothing."
" But he may be sick, or he may not
have got your letter. Such queer mis
takes do happen."
" Parker took it to his hotel: the clerk
said he was st'll in his room ; it was sent
to him in Parkers sight and hearing.
There is not any doubt but that he re
ceived it."
" Well, suppose lie did not. Still, if
he really cares for you, he is hardly likely
to take your supposed silence for an abso
lute refusal. I have said No ' to Carrol
a dozen times, and he won't stav 'noed.1
Mr. Smith will be sure to ask for a per
sonal interview."
Eleanor answered drearily : " I sup
pose he will pay me that respect ;" but
through this little effort at assertion it
was easy to detect the white feather of
.iiistrust. She half suspected the touchy
self-esteem of Mr. Smith. If she had
merely been guilty of a breach of good
manners toward him, she knew that he
would deeply resent it; bow, then, when
shehad however innocently given him
the keenest personal spite.
Still she wished to accept Alice's cheer
ful view of the affair, and what is heart
ily wished is half accomplished. Ere
she fell asleep she had quite decided that
her lover would call the following day,
and her thoughts were busy with the
pleasant amends she would mate him
tor any anxiety he might have suffered.
But Mr. Smith did not call the follow
ing day, nor on many following ones,
and a casual lady visitor destroyed Elea
nor's last hope that he would ever call
again, for, after a little desultory gossip,
she said: "You will miss Mr. Smith
very much at your receptions.and brother
Sain says he is to be away two years."
" So long?" asked Eleanor, with per
fect calmness.
" I believe so. I thought the move
very sudden, but Sam says he has been
talking about the trip for six months."
" Really I Alice, dear, won't you bring
that piece of Bui slam pottery for Mrs.
HollistolookatP"
So the wonderful cup and saucer were
brought, and they raused a diversion so
complete that Mr. Smith and his eccen
tric move were not named again during
the visit. Nor, indeed, much after it.
" What is the use of discussing a hope
lessly disagreeable subject P" said Eleanor
to Alice's first offer of sympathy. To
tell the truth, the mere mention of the
subject made her cross, for young women
of the finest fortunes do not necessarily
possess the finest tempers.
Carrol's next visit was looked for with
a good deal of interest. Naturally it was
thought that he would know all about
his friend's singular conduct. But he
professed to be as mucli puzzled as
Alice. " He supposed it was something
about Mrs. Bethune; he had always
told Smith not to take a pretty, rich
woman like Iter into his calculations.
For his part, if he had been desirous of
marrying an heiress, and felt that lie
hud a gift- that way, he should have
looked out a rich German girl : they had
less nonsense about them, etc
That was how the affair ended as far
as Eleanor was concerned. Of course
she suffered, but she wan not of that
generation of women who parade their
suffering. Beautiful and self-respecting,
she was, above all, endowed with physi
cal self-control. Even Alice was spared
the hysterical sobbings and faintings and
other signs of pathological distress com
mon to weak women.
Perhaps she was more silent and more
irritable than usual, but Eleanor Be
thune's heartache for love never led her
to the smallest social impropriety. What
ever she suffered, she did not refuse the
proper mixture of colors in her hat, or
neglect her tithe of the mint, anise and
cummin due to her position.
Eleanor's reticence, however, had this
good effect it compelled Alice to talk
Smith's singular behavior over with
Carrol; nnd somehow, in discussing
Smith, they got to understand each
other; so that, after all, it was Alice's
and not Eleanor's bridal shopping that
was to do. And there is something very
assuaging to grief in this occupation.
Before it was completed, Eleanor had
quite recovered her placid, sunshiny
temper.
"Consolation, thy name is satin and
lace!" said Alice, thankfully, to herself,
as she saw Eleanor so tired and happy
about the wedding finery.
At first Alice had been quite sure that
she would go to Paris, and nowhere else ;
but Eleanor noticed that in less than a
week Carrol's influence was paramount.
" We have got a better idea, Eleanor
quite a novel one," she said, one morn
ing. "We are going to make our bridal
trip in Carrol's yacht!"
"Whose ideals that?"
"Carrol's, and mine too, of course.
Carrol says it is the jolliest life! You
leave all your cares and your bills on
shore behind you. You issue your own
sailing orders, and sail away into space
with an easy conscience."
" But I thought you were bent on a
European trip P"
' "The yacht will be ever so much
nicer. Think of the nuisance of tieket
oflices, and waiting-rooms, and second
class hotels, and troublesome letters
waiting for you at your banker's, and
disagreeable paragraphs in the news
papers. I think Carrol's idea is
splendid."
So the marriage took place at the end
of the season, nnd Alice and Carrol
sailed happily awav into the unknown.
Eleanor was at a loss what to do with
herself. She wanted to go to Europe;
but Mr. Smith hud gone there, and she
felt sure that some unlucky accident
would throw them together. It was not
her nature to court embarrassments ; so
Europe was out of the question.
While she was hesitating she called
one day on Celeste Heid a beautiful
girl who had been a great belle, but was
now a confirmed invalid. " I am going
to try the airof Colorado, Mrs. Bethune,"
she said. "Papa has heard wonderful
storiei. about it. Come with our party.
We shall have a special car, and the
trip will at least have the charm of
novelty."
"And I love the mountains, Celeste.
I will join you with pleasure. I was
dreading the old routine in the old
places; but this will be delightful."
Thus it happened that one evening in
the following August Mrs. Bethune
found herself slowly strolling down the
principal street in Denver. It was a
splendid sunset, and in its glory the
Rocky mountains rose like Titanic
palaces built of amethyst, gold and silver.
Suddenly the look of intense pleasure on
her face was changed for one of wonder
nnd annoyance. It had become her duty
in a moment to do a very disagreeable
thing; but duty was a kind of religion
to Eleanor Bethune; she never thought
of shirking it.
So she immediately inquired her way
to tho telegraph office, and even quick
ened her steps into as fast a walk as she
ever permitted herself. The message
she had to send was a peculiar and not
a pleasant one. At first she thought it
would hardly be possible for her to
framo it in such words as she would
care to dictate to strangers; but she
finally settled onthe following form :
" Messrs. Locke & Lord:
"Tell brother Edward that Bloom is
in Denver. No delay. The matter is
of the greatest importance."
When she had directed tho message,
tho clerk said, "Two dollars, madam."
But greatly to Eleanor's annoyance, her
purse was not in her pocket, and she
could not remember whether she had
1ut it there or not. The man stood
ooking at her in an expectant way;
she felt that any delay about the message
might be fatal to its worth; perplexity
ruled her absolutely. She was about to
explain her dilemma, and return to her
hotel for money, when a gentleman, who
had heard and watched the whole pro
ceeding, said:
" Madam, I perceive that time is of
great importance to you, and that you
have lost your purse; allow me to pay
for your message. You can return the
money if you wish. My name is Wil
liam Smith. I am staying at the
American.1 "
"Thank you, sir. The message is of
the gravest importance to my brother.
I gratefully accept your offer."
Further knowledge proved Mr. William
Smith to be a New York capitalist who
was slightly known to three of the
gentlemen in Eleanor's party; so that
the acquaintance began so informally
was very speedily afterward inaugurated
with all the forms and ceremonies good
.,.!.. ,,fQ ninilfl a. stranger
money or the hour a thing to be grate
fully accepted. She had seen in the
door of the postoffice a runaway cashier
society demaniis. it was soon possimu,
too. for Eleanor to explain the circum
ineea which, even in her code of strict
s oner of
of her brother, and his speedy arrest in
volved a matter of at least forty thou
sand dollars.
This Mr. William Smith was a totally
different man to Eleanor's last lover a
bright,, energetic, alert business man,
decidedly handsome and gentlemanly.
Though Iiis name was greatly against
him in Eleanor's prejudices, she found
herself quite unable to resist the cheery,
pleasant influence he' carried with him.
And it was evident from the very first
day of their acquaintance that Mr.
William Smith had but one thought
the winning of Eleanor Bethune.
When she returned to New York in
the autumn she ventured to cast up her
accounts with life, and she was rather
amazed at the result. For she was quite
aware that she was in love witli this
William Smith in a way that she had
never been with the other. The first
had been a sentimental ideal ; the second
was a genuine case of sincere and pas
sionate affection. She felt that the
desertion of this lover would bo a grief
far beyond the power of satin and lace
to cure.
But her new lover had never a dis
loyal thought to iiis mistress, and his
love, transplanted to the pleasant places
of New York life, seemed to find its
native air. It enveloped Eleanor now
like a glad and heavenly atmosphere;
she was so happy that she dreaded any
change; it seemed to her that no change
could make her happier.
But if good is good, still better carries
the day, and Mr. Smith thought mar
riage would be a great deal better than
love-making. Eleanor and he were sit
ting in the fire-lit parlor, very still and
very happy, when he whispered this
opinion to her.
"It is only four months since we met.
dear. Only four months, darling; but I
had been dreaming about you for four
months before that. Let me hold your
hands.sweet.while I tell you. On the 20th
of last April I was on the point of leaving
lor Colorado to look after the Silver Cliff
mine. My carriage was ordered,
and I was waiting at the hotel for it. A
servant brought me a letter the dearest,
sweetest little letter see, here it is!"
and this William Smith absolutely laid
before Eleanor her own pretty, loving
reply to the first William Smith's offer.
Eleanor looked queerly at it. and
smiled. "What did you think, dear?"
"That it was just the pleasantest thing
that had ever happened to me. It was
directed to Mr. W. Smith, and had been
given into my hands. I was not going
to seek up any other W. Smith."
" But you must have been sure that it
was not intended for you, and you did
not know ' Eleanor Bethune.1 "
"Oh, I beg your pardon, sweetheart;
it was intended for me. I can imagine
destiny standing sarcastically by your
side, and watching you send the letter
to one W. Smith when she intended it
for another W. Smith. Eleanor Be
thune I meant to know just ns soon ns
possible. I was coming back to New
York to look for you."
" And, instead, she went to you in
Colorado."
"Only think of that! Why, love,
when that blessed telegraph clerk said :
Who si'nds this message?1 and you
said, 'Mrs. Eleanor Bethune,1 1 wanted
to fly my hat to the sky. I did not lose
my head as bad'y when they found that
new lead in the Silver Cliff."
"Won't you give me that letter, and
let me destroy it, William? It was
written to the wrong Smith and deliv
ered to the wrong Smith."
"It was written to the wrong Smith,
hut it was given to the right Smith.
Still, Eleanor, If you will say one little
word to me, you may do what you like
with the letter."
Then Eleanor whispered the word.and
the blaze of the burning letter made a
little illumination in honor of their be
trothal kiss. Harper's Weekly.
Pain and the Weather.
It is a familiar experience that certain
bodilv pains vary in their phases accord
ing to the weather, but probably few
have made exact scientific observations
of this to any considerable extent. A
series of such observations, made with
much ability and perseverance, lias lately
been reported to the American Academy
of Science by Prof. Mitchell. They are
by Capt. Catlin, of the United States
Array, who lost a leg during the war,
and since that time has suffered a good
deal from traumatic neuralgia. He
carefully noted, during five years, the
effects produced on him by changes of
the weather. For the first quarters of
these five years there were 2,471 hours
of pain; for the second quarters, 2,102
hours; for the third quarters, 2,050
hours; and for the last quarters, 2,221
hours. The best " yield of pain 11 is in
J anuary, February and March, and the
poorest in the third quarter July, Au
gust and September. During these five
years, while the sun was south of the
equator, there were 4,692 hours of pain,
against 4,158 hours while it was north of
the equator. The average duration of
the attacks for the first quarters was
twenty-two hours, and for the third
quarters only 17.9 hours. Now, taking
the four years ending January 1, 1879, it
is found that of the 537 storms chartered
by the Signal Bureau, 298 belong to the
two winter quarters, against 239 for the
summer quarters. The average distance
of the storm-center at tlie beginning of
the neuralgic attacks was 680. miles.
Storms from the Pacific coast are felt
furthest off very soon after, or as they
are crossing the Kockyrmountains, while
storms along the Atlantic coast are as
sociated with milder forms of neuralgia,
which are not felt till the storm-center is
nearer. Rain is not essential in the pro
duction of neuralgia. The severest neu
ralgic attacks of the year were those ac
companying the first snows of Novem
ber and December. One other interest
ing observation is as follows: Every
storm sweeping across the continent con
sist of a vast rain area, at the center of
which is a moving space of greatest
barometric depression. The ram usu
ally precedes this storm center by 550 to
600 miles, but before nnd around the
rain lies a belt, which may be called the
neuralgic margin of the storm, and
which precedes the rain by 150 miles.
The fact is very deceptive, because the
sufferer may be or the far edge of a storm
basin of barometric pressure, and seeing
nothing of the rain, yet have pain due to
the storm.
The large collection stored in the
vaults of the Smithsonian Institution,
at Washington, are in a fair way to be
'eome exposed to public view one of these
days, work having begun on the National
Museum, for winch Congress appropri
ated $250,000. The building is to cover
two and a half acres, and will be finished
next spring.
TIMELY TOPICS.
A telephone has been placed in the
Congregational church, at Mansfield, O.,
the wires leading to the houses of several
aged and invalid persons. It sur
mounts a floral decoration on the table
in front of the open platform, where it
is hardly seen. The speaker pays no at
tention whatever to it, yet every word
uttered in the auditorium is easily heard
in the rooms of the dwellings which the
wires reach. The first message from
the minister was from Scripture : " The
word is nigh unto thee;" "His word
runneth very swiftly."
When the Zulus rushed in on the
small British detachment of Col. Wood,
and while there was yet an open road in
one direction, Col. Weatherly, an Eng
lish cavalry officer, clapped his son, a
boy of thirteen who was witli hini, on
horseback kissed him, and told him to
fly for life. The lad jumped from the
saddle, striking the horse a lash which
sent it galloping off, and said : " Father,
I'll die with you." The father handed
his revolver to the child just as the
Zulus reached, over Britisli bodies, the
spot where they stood. Weatherly slew
nve Zulus before tie felt, but the son was
killed at once.
Apropos to the inter-oceanic canal
across the isthmus of Darien, a corres
pondent in Buffalo writes to the New
York Graphic, suggesting the construc
tion of an enormous railway across the
isthmus, constructed and equipped to
carry ships of any tonnage. He would
have the track at each end of the route
run down into water deep enough to
siiDport a properly built dock, so that a
vessel could sail into a basin surround
ing this approach to the track, and then
be docked and drawn across the isthmus
on wheels. The writer does not profess
any engineering skill, and modestly ad
mits that there may be difficulties in the
way of his scheme which he does not
see. If so, otners will probably see
them. He thinks such a road might be
built for one-tenth of $200,000,000, the
estimated cost of the proposed canal.
The police statistics of large cities are
often more impressive than a long and
rhetorical sermon could be. Take those
of Chicago, for example. The annual
arrests number about 30,000, one-half
for drunkenness, and of the total, 6,000
are women, Without going into elabo
rate comparisons of figures, it may be af
firmed that Chicago is not greatly worse
than other large cities ; it may not bo as
bad as some others. At the nest we ob
tain a glimpse of an incalculable
amount of crime and misery ; and
when we remember that the influ
ence of evil examples spreads like a con
tagious disease, the subject is seen to he
one of terrible moment. Mere preach
ing to those whose surroundings alone
render virtue almost impossible on the
one hand, and mere attention to physical
wants on tho other, will not meet the
exigencies of the case. Nothing will
effect an immediate or general cure, but
there should be a union of all the
methods which common sense and un
common charity, can devise.
Strange mischances with fatal results
are daily happening here and there. A
Boston butcher ran against a knife that
lay on a block, severed an artery, and
bled to death. A Denver woman caught
her foot in a railroad frog, and could not
get loose before a train ran over h r. A
Vermont farmer sneezed with a straw in
liis mouth, drew it into his lung, and
died choking. A horse kicked a Michi
gan boy into a deep well, where lie was
drowned. The shoe flew oft' the foot of
a kicking mule, in Nashville, and frac
tured t'.ie skull of a baby. An Oregon
girl swallowed her engagement ring, and
lived only a week afterward. While
standing on his head, on the top of a
high fence post, an Iowa boy lost his
balance, fell into a tub of hot water, and
was fatally scalded. A stone, thrown
by a playfellow, broke a glass from
which a St. Louis boy was drinking,
driving some of the pieces down his
throat, and lie died a few days afterward
in great agony. Looking up to watch
the flight of an arrow, a Nashville wo
man did not see it descending directly
over her head, and the sharp metal point
penetrated her brain through one of her
eyes, killing her instantly.
Horses' Comfort.
The health and comfort of horses have
of late years been improved bv the bet
ter construction of stables. They are
made more roomy and lofty, and pro
vided witli means of thorough ventila
tion. In many new stables lofts are
done away with, or the floor of the lolt
is kept well above the horses' heads,
and ample shafts are introduced through
the lofts to convey away foul air. By
perforated bricks and gratings under
the manger, and elsewhere round the
walls, and also by windows and venti
lators, abundance of pure air is secured
for the horses; while being introduced
in moderate amount, and from various
directions, it comes in without draught.
Too much air is almost an unknown
stable luxury. To secure a constant
supply of pure air, horses require more
cubic space than they generally enjoy.
Even when animals are stabled only at
night, a minimum of 1,200 cubic feet
should be allowed. In England, the
newer cavalry barracks give a minimum
of 1,500 cubic feet, with a ground area of
fully ninety square feet per horse; and
the best bunting and carriage Horse sta
bles have more room. Journal of Chem
istry. A Brave Little Girl.
Mr. II. F. Gaulding has a little daugh
ter eleven years old to whose nerve and
courage ho is indebted for the life of his
three-year-old boy. The boy was play
ing by the cistern in Mr. Gaulding's
yard. There was a plank off, and through
this aperture the little fellow fell. He
caught a plank, however, in falling, and
held for some time before he was dis
covered. But his hold weakened, and
with a splash he fell into the cistern.
His sister saw and appreciated the situ
ation. Most girls would have screamed
and run off in quest of help. Not so
with this little girl. The screams and
struggles for life of her baby brother
gave her the strength and courage of a
man. She saw a ladder, and, with all
her might, she dragged it to and placed
it into the cistern, and then went down
into the water, readied out and caught
her brother just in time to save him from
a watery grave. By this time help ar
rived and Doth were landed safely from
their perilous position. All honor to
this little heroine! Bainbridgc (,0a.)
Democrat.
THE NIHILISTS.
An Account Which Hhows the Terrible
' State of Affitlrs. , , .
Scene At St. Petersburg.
Janitor I can't stand this any longer,
sir; I don't mind doing the duties ordi
narily expectsd of one in my position,
but I cannot be on the watch all the
twenty-four hours to see that the Nihil
ists don't stick revolutionary posters on
the front wall. I've gone eleven nights
without sleep now.
Proprietor But, my poor Ivan Ivan
ovitcli, I did not make the law which
all owners of houses are obliged to obey,
providing for a fine of 500 roubles if a
placard is posted up on the premises,
and imprisonment if the offence is re
peated. Here, drink this coffee; it will
keep you awake. To-night I will go on
watch and Jou can get a good sleep, i
Janitor Thanks, my good master;
your nobly considerate conduct lends me
renewed strength.
An hour later the janitor comes in to
breakfast.
Proprietor Great Todleben! where
have you beenP Why, man, there is a
revolutionary placard pasted on your
back !
Janitor Is there P I suppose I must
have closed my eyes for a minute or two.
They, have a keen eye for business, those
Nihil'sts. Let's tear it up.
Proprietor No ; don't tear it tip, be
cause some of the fragments might .bo
found and we might be sent to Siberia
Burn it up, coat and all I'll give you a
new one. Now go back to your post,
and, for the love of Heaven, do not doze
a wink.
The janitor returns. The proprietor
watches him from the winnow, and,
whenever he nods, shouts, " Now, then,
Ivan Ivanovitch, keep awake!" In the
course of the long, long, weary day the
police arrive.
Official We have come to search tho
premises.
Proprietor But, count, I belong to
no association. I am merely a peaceful
citizen who passes his days ana nights
watching to see that his watchman
doesn't fall asleep.
Official I have General Gourko's
orders to enter your house and see that
you have no concealed arms.
Proprietor All I have is an old shot
gun without lock, stock or barrel.
Official The Nihilists could easily
furnish you those. Your shotgun is
confiscated, nnd you may thank your
lucky stars that you get off so easily.
What's in that drawer?
Proprietor Knives.
Official Knives! I confiscate them.
Proprietor But, prince, they are
table-knives, and to-night I give a dinner-party
; my daughter is engaged to be
married, and this is to celebrate her
betrothal.
Official You must eat with your fin
gers, that's all.
Proprietor But, grand duke, how are
we to carve the fowls?
Official Tear 'cm in pieces, or bite
out Jchunks it'll all bo in the family.
Where's your bedroom?
Proprietor Here; your imperial ex
cellency, and if you find any deadly
weapons in it I want to be sent to
Siberia.
OffieiaJ I might send you there if it
were worth the irouble.for here is a razor
which in the practiced hands of a des
perate man might be used to slay the
whole imperial family. I will confiscate
the razor.
(The family dinner takes place, though
under disadvantages, and the unhappy
man forgets all the, trials and troubles of
tho day. At the dessert, just as he is
about to propose the health of the soon
to be wedded pair, he receives a note
couched in these terms):
You are a traitor! You have to-day
given up to the tyrants the arms in your
possession. You have therefore been
doomed to death by
Yours respectfully.
Tub Executive Committee.
per Tomsk! Collinsovitch.
Proprietor (tearing his hair) There!
That's all that was lacking to make it
complete. Read that!
His Future Son-in-Law You were
wrong, sir: th re is a good deal to be
said on both sides.
Proprietor Wrong! was I? Perhaps
you are a Nihilist? (with bitter sarcasm.)
His Future Son-in-Law I have the
honor to be the chief of Section 217 and
I don't care who knows it.
His Daughter Yes, pa, and that is
why I lo-ho-hove him. (Casts herself
into her lover's arms.)
Proprietor Merciful heavens! are you
a Nihilist too, Paulovna?
Ilis Daughter Yes, pa, and so are my
sisters and my cousins and my aunts.
All the guests--And . so are we all
of us.
Proprietor I will denounce you to the
authorities call the police.
His Future Son-iri-Law If you utter
one word I will fire this train and blow
up the house, which we had mined as
a precaution, let the police should make
a descent on us while we were at dinner.
Proprietor And here I have been
passing my days and nights keeping
watch on my janitor.
Omnes Your janitor! Ilo, ho! Look
out iof the window and see what your
janitor is doing.
Proprietor May I be knouted and
sent to Siberia if my janitor isn't cov
ering the whole front of the house
witli four-sheet revolutionary posters!
(Faints.)
A Sea Serpent as Thick as a Mast.
Captain D:ivison, master of the Mitsu
Bishi steamship Kiushiu Maru. gives
the following relation of what passed
before his eves on his voyage from Riu
Kiu to Kobe. The statement is duly
signed by himself and countersigned by
Mr. John MeKechnie, the chief officer,
and its authenticity appears to be beyond
question : At 11.15 a. M., Cape Satano,
distant about nine miles, the chief officer
and myself observed a whale jump clear
outfof the sea, about a quarter of a mile
away. Shortly after it leaped out again,
when I saw there was something at
tached to it. Got glasses, and on the
next leap distinctly saw something hold
ing on to the belly of the whale. Tho
latter gave one more spring clear of the
water, and myself and the chief officer
then observed, what appeared to be a
large creature of the snake species rear
itself about thirty feet out of the water.
It appeared to be about the thickness of
a junk's mast, and after standing for
about ten seconds in an erect position, it
descended into the water, the upper end
going first. With my glasses I made
out the color of the beast to resemble
that of a pilot fish. Tokio Japan)
Times. ...
A teaspoonful of coal oil to a gallon o?
water will exterminate all the insects
that infest beautiful and delicate plant
and flowers.
. The Emigrant. '
She clasped her hnndo on my arms,
She laid her cheek on my shoulder;
The tide of her tears fell warm . '
On hands that tremblod to hold her. . ,
I whispered a pitying word, . : ,i ;
As the ship moved slowly apart, . . 'i
And the grief of the f riondless poured
Its choking weight on my heart.
For graves in the evening shade w "
: Were green on a far-off hill, - -
Where the joys of her life were laid
With love that had known no chill ,
But however her heart might yearn,
; We were facing the freshening breeze,
And the white wake lengthened astern
On the rolling floor of the seas.
She quenched the fl ol her tears,
Uplifting hor meek, brave head.
" Or dark or bright be the years,
I will take ooumge," she said.
Smoothing back her loose-blowing hair,
And her shawl drawing closor tho while,
So she drank in the strong sea air,
And left the old shore with a smilo.
University Magazine.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Playing with dice is shaky business.
Low rents Tears in tho sole of a
shoe.
The knobbiest part of a house is the
door.
London has eighteen daily news
papers. A mad dog is a pronounced instance
of cur-rage.
Good Thunder is a town in Blue Ear h
county, Minn.
"Venezuela rjroducos 85.000 nounds of
coffee annually.
A bycyclist in England re 'ently fell
dead while riding.
A doubtful compliment Telling a
clown that lie's no fool.
Twenty-seven daughters cheer the
family of a Cleveland (N. C.) man.
Admission to the degree of a barrister
is subject to a tax of .250 in England.
The spur of tho moment may have
something to do with the flight of time.
Two families never, under any circum
stances, occupy the same house in
Arabia.
Railways arc . aristocratic. They
teach every man to know his own
station and to stop there.
At the national convention of brew
ers, in St. Louis, a resolution wsis passed
to establish a " Brewers' Academy " for '
the purpose of "educating" brewers' .
sons and others in the " science " of beer
brewing.
Justus Schwab, a communist leader
in New York, has recovered $50 dam
ages against Police Sergeant Rooney for
arresting him for keeping his saloon
open part of Sunday night, about which
the law is silent.
A brace of hungry tramps, espying a
sign on a restaurant reading, " Meals at
all hours," entered and asked the loan of
a breakfast. On being refused, they re
luctantly took their departure, dryly re
marking, " Those meals are not at all
ours."
Milley Williams, a miser of Enson
Crossroads, N. C, was accustomed to
invest her earnings in gold, one dollai
at a time. Her dwelling was recently
destroyed by fire, and lumps of melted
gold, worth about 10,000, were taken
lrom tho ruins.
Smoke is not, as many persons imagine,
lighter than air. It is, however, carried
up by tho heated air, which, being
lighter than the surrounding atmos
phere, is pressed upward. Smoke as
cends because it is intermixed with'
vapors, gases and warm nir.
It is known that the first aerial voyage
was made by Pilatre do Rozier, in com
pany with the Marquis d'Arlatides, in a
Montgolfiero, or heated air balloon, on
November 21, 1783. Pilatre was also
the first victim of nerostation ; lie per
ished along witli his companion Roman
by the fall of a balloon nt Boulogne.
Razor blades (with the exception of
cast-iron ones) are forged from cast
steel, the bare being tilted to one-half inch
in breadth, and a thickness equal to the
back of the razor. The blades are heated
in a coke or charcoal fire, nnd dipped
into the water obliquely. In tempering,
they are laid on their backs upon a clear
fire, about half-a-dozen together, and
they are removed, one at a time, when
the edges, which nre ns yet thick, come
down to a pale straw color. Should tho
backs accidentally become heated beyond
a straw color, the blades are cooled in
water, but not otherwise.
Kiches take wings
And so do flies,
The cheeky things
lluzz in our eyes,
Fill tip our ear,
And nip unit tuck
Without a fear,
And the best of luck.
Won't some human try
And get through a bill
To choke off a fly
When he's got his All ?
,"rw York Peopit.
Can Cuts Reason
Baron Von Gleichen, a German diplo
matist, used to tell a story of a favorite
cat as a proof that tho feline race can
think and draw practical conclusions.
The cat was very fond of looking in mir
rors hung acainst the walls, and would
gnaw at the frames, ns if longing to
know what was inside. SlteJiau, how
ever, never seen the back side of a mir
ror. One day the baron placed acheval
glass in the middle of tho room, and the
cat instantly took in the novelty of tho
situation,
Placing herself in front, and seeing a
second cat, she began to run round tho
mirror in search of her companion.
After running round one way -several
times, she began to run the other, until,
fully satisfied that there was no cat be
side herself outside of the glass. But '
where was the second cat? '
She sat dqwn in front of the glass to
meditate on the problem. Evidently
inside, as she had often before imagined.
Suddenly a new thought occurred to
her.
Rising deliberately, she put her paws .
on the glass in front and then behind,
walked round to the other side, and
measured the thickness in the same way.
Then she sat down again to think.
There might be. a cavity inside, but it
was not large enough to hold a cat. She
seemed to come to the deliberate con
clusion that there was a mystery here,
but no cat, and it wasn't worth while to
bother about it. From that time the
baron said she lost all curiosity about
looking-glasses,