c.
vt-i
l ,L.
v.' I-
HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
NIL, DESPEHVNDUM.
Two Dollars per Annum.
VOL. VII.
Why Biddy and Pat Married.
"Ob, why did you marry him, Biddy?
Way did you take Pat for your spouse?
Sure he's neither purty nor witty,
And Ilia hair is as red as a cow's t
Yu might had your pick hnd you waited t
You done a dale bettor with Tim )
And Pheliin O'Toolo was expectiu'
You couldn't do hotter nor him.
You talk of us young people courtiu'
Tray tell how your conrtin' began,
When you were a widdy woman,
And he was a widdy man."
" Tim and Tat. mis, re soo, was acquainted
Eufore they came over the sea,
When 1'tt wus a-courtiu' Norah,
And Tim was a-coiirtin'me.
She did not know nnu h, the poor Nornk,
Nor, for that matter, neither did Tat ;
Ho had not tire instinct C;f somo one,
Cut no one had then told him that ;
But ho soon found it out for himself,
For life at be t's but a span
When I was a widdy woman,
And he was a widdy man.
" I helped him to take care of Norah,
And when he compared hor with mo,
lie saw, as ho whispered ono evening,
What a woman one woman could be.
She went out like the snulf of a candle ;
Then tho sickness seized upon Tim,
And wo watched by his bedside together
It was such a comfort to him.
I was not alone in my weeping,
Our tears iu the same channel ran
For I was a widdy woman,
And he was a widdy man.
"We had both had our troubles, mavourneen,
Though neither, perhaps, was to blame ;
And we both knew by this what we wanted,
And were willing to pay for the same,
We knew what it was to be married,
And before the long twelvemonth had flown
We had made up our minds It was better
Not to live nny longer alone j
We wasted no time shilly-shally,
Like you, miss, and Master Dan
For I was a widdy woman,
And he was a widdy man."
Harper' Maqaiiue.
ODETTE.
In the drawing-rooin of a Fifth avenue
minsion two girls were sitting the one
n blonde, the other a brnuette; and
both beautiful nccording to their respec
tive t pes. Florence Gardner had called
to impart to her old school friend, Miss
Falkland, the delicate fact of her en
gagement, and both were indulging in a
confidential chat.
" And now I have only one , wish
more," Florence was saying "to see
you engaged, too. Have you uo fancy.
Odette?"
Odette shook her head slowly.
"What! not for Gaston Sandford?"
" What shall I say, you tease? Shall
I tell you I enjoy Mr, Sandford's so
ciety more than any other man's ? for I
do; and shall I tell you I don't know
whether I love him or not? for I don't."
"He is worthy of a sweet woman's
love; and I think he likes you very, very
much, Odette."
"There, there, Flory; talk of some
thing else, won't you ? I do not care
for anybody, never shall' caro for any.
body, but yourself. "
" And I am so happy myself in Roger's
love, that I cannot but feel sorry for you,
Odette. But I must co : " and' Florence
Gardner rose. After seeing her friend
to the door, Odette returned to the
drawing-room, and to divert her
thoughts picked up "Moore's Poems,"
which were lying on the table. "Opening
at random, her eyes fell on the3e lines
Oh, there's nothing half so sweet iu life
As love's young dream.
. Odette closed the book with almost a
sigh. " Perhaps Florence is right,"
she said; " and there is no perfect hap
piness without love." She expected
Sandford that evening, for he was a
steady visitor; and went to the piano to
pass the time.
" At last !" she exclaimed, joyfully,
when at length he entered the room.
" That welcome will make me happy
for a month," he said, kissing her hand.
"Do not flatter yourself too much,"
rejoined Odette. " There are hours in
the life of women in which any caller,
whosoever he be, is recei ?ed as a relief. "
Gaston Sandford shrank in again.
Odette understood his feeling, and, with
a twinge of compunction, said :
" Rest assured, however, that I am
glad to see you ; and that now you are
liw, I shall do my best to keep you as
long as possible, iiut why do you come
so late ?"
"Ah! I willtell you. I had seen at
Goupil's a portrait I wished to buy, and
went for it ; but, unluckily, it was sold
to a party who ie forming a collection of
historical paintings, and only after great
trouble have I succeeded in getting my
Princess of Conti."
" Ah ! it is the portrait of a princess,
is it?"
" Yes ; and I prize it became it is like
you would pass for you."
" And I suppose, being like me, it is
already hung over the mantel piece of
your room, between a Japanese mandarin
and a Turkish pipe ?"
" You are cruel, Odette."
" But are you aware, Gaston Sandford,
what such a freak implies ?"
" It implies that I love you. Thrre !
I have spoken. Shut your door to me
hereafter, but let me ppeak now. Yes,
I . love yon, Odette, I love you ! My
happiness is here; here, and nowhere
else. Oh ! Odett3 "
" Go on," said Odette, calmly.
" So you laugh at me ?"
" On the contrary. Is not au invitation
t proceed an acknowledgment that I am
intcrestel in tho avowal ?"
He (sprang forward to take her hand.
Miss Falkland stopped him, Baying;
"Now, Gaston, do not lose yourself in
the clouds do not mistake a single
violet for a bouquet. I shall be sineere
with you. I really do not kuow whether
I love you or not. I like your society
more than that of any other inaa I have
ever met "
A tear was growing large in Gaston's
eyes. Odette was moved, and took his
hand.
"I only aik to be convinced," she said
softly. u "Try J Oh ! do try to warm, the
6t8tUC
"I may hope, then 1" cried Gas ton,
ji,Tiuuy.
T 1 - -- t l .
i uo noi iorom you, but 1 promise
nothing," said Odette, with downcast
eyes. "Yon know how much pleasure I
iiuu in your presence, ifaston. You will
not mind if I say I would like to be alone
Gaston took her little white hand,
Kisscu it, anil went without a word. He
speui nan tne night thinking of Odette;
mo uuar win ne ureameu oi ner
As to Odette left alone in hei room,
omj uuuu iou mst asieep,
. . .
A month passed, during which Gaston
pursued ins booing faithf ully, anxiously,
iiut ne ilia not deceive himself that he
had won Odette's heart. Sometimes she
was as loving and confidential with hiin
as a woman can be to her accepted lover;
ier iiuius sue was com ana restrain
ed niakiutr him
by turns. But to do the girl justice, the
question which she asked herself oftenest
was: "Do 1 love him ? '
" . . nr.. r i ... -
evening iur. iueiviue urooks, a
bachelor of fifty, nn old' and trusted
menu, called upon Odette.
Wliy, Melville, what a stranger!
? urn uuppy eveui oruigs you t
"I come to give you a bit of advice,
Odette; but of course you won't take it."
J ust listen to tho man ! I feel hurt
indeed I do, Mr. Brooks. But let me
near your advice,
"I would not meddle in yonr and Gas
ton Sandford's affairs, if he was one of
the many nincompoops in which our no
ble city abounds, as in that case society's
loss would not be great; but Gaston is
a noble, earnest fellow, and vou must
cieai candidly with liim, Odette."
"What grievous wrong have I done
him, Melville ?" she asked, in some con
sternation. "If you love him, tell him so, and
make arrangements fi.r vour wedding if
you don't love him, let him know it as
gently as possible, and at once, and I
will try to save what remains of his wits."
ile is reallv dviucr of love, thpn I"
said Odette, with unconcealed mirth.
"This is not like you, mv girl. Dying
of love ? Nonsense ! No woman is
worthy such a sacrifice. But you. Odettp.
and w omen like you, who play a man on
a hook as you would a fish, ought to be
told that you stand iu the wav of better
women than yourselves women whose
desire is marriage, not universal admira
tion; and who are content with one honest
courtship, not innumerable flirtations."
Odette was readv to crv with vexation.
but allowed Mr. Brooks to continue.
"If you don't want Sandford for a
husbaud, there is another who does, and
an heiress too. And now I'll be going.
Good-bye. You don't ask me to come
back again ?"
" Your visits are so acrennbln. Mr
Brooks, they cannot too often be re
pented." "Well, then, I will come back very
soon. Odette. Think Beriouslv ovpr
what I have paid." And the old cur
mudgeon, as he passed out, muttered to
himself : " Gave it to her pretty strong,
poor thing, but faith ! she had to have
it. "
As Punctual ns n m.'.llsrnn iltifr o(
half-past seven the same evening, Sii'nd-
iord made liis appearance. Odette was
playing on the piano, and he begged her
not to let his presence interrupt the per
formance. A friend of mine is rieht ." said he.
when uho had finished ; " when you play
you put your soul into your fingers."
is unit tuo only news in the city V
"No. They say also." ho continued.
with meaning, " that a party of explorer
is going to start soon on an expedition
into Central Africa, and that a certain
Mr. Gaston Sandford. an acauaintance
of yours, intends to join them. "
"Ah I" exclaimed Odette. But the
next moment, with admirable control,
sho added: " Such an expedition must
have great attractions for a man of your
spirit ; but have you taken into due con
sideration the dangers and hardships you
win oe exposed to, uaaton (
"I have. The more hardships the
better ; they will help me to fight against
this controlling passion. Odette, dear
Odette ! If I loved you less I could re
main ; but loving you as I do, with so
much paiu and so little hope, I must go
away from New York to a place as unlike
it as possible. "
"And how long .do yon mean to be
gone '("
"As long as I can; but not long
enough, I am afraid, to forget you."
"Is there no other young lady no
heiress you have to forget ?"
" None."
" Odette rose, and threw herself into
Gaston's arms as he stood by the piano.
" You will not go, Gaston,'" she said ;
"you will stay I wish it."
"Is tins love, or is it only pity,
Odette ?" said Gaston, gently smoothing
from her forehead her waving brown
hair.
For answer she held up her lips to be
kissed; and, at that moment, felt as
really in love as Gaston himself.
It is needless to add that the African
exploring party was duly organized, and
that it did not include Mr. Sandford.
When summer came, the encaored pair
were at Suratoga, together. Odette was
with her aunt, Mrs. Wentworth. Among
uie new acquaintances sue made there
was Count Bradsky, a Hungarian officer
attached to the Austrian embassy at
Washington a very distinguished look
ing man, and a great favorite, generally,
w ith the ladies. Odette pronounced him
the best dancer at Saratoga. Gaston
was grieved to see that she daily grew
fonder of the foreigner's society, and
that Count Bradsky had rather more of
hiafiancee't time than he himself had.
Meanwhile Odette was preoccupied
and restless, and avoided company.
One evening Gaston found her seated
out-of-doors, toying with a bouquet of
flowers. It was not the bouquet he had
sent hor; but, crushing down his rising
jealousy, he said:
"What a superb bouquet! Who is
the happy mortal whose flowers are so
lucky?"
" I don't know. I took the first bou
quet at hand. I reoeived several of them
today."
"Ah!" exclaimed Gaston, Badly.
" There was a time, though, when the
first you found was always thl one I had
sent you. You have changed to me of
late, Odette. What is the matter?"
"I ant not iu good spirits; that is
all," . -
1U DGAVA Y. HTJC nOTTXTY. P A TTTTTTjcit. a v "nr iDtt o 1 a 7'
" Confide your burden to me. Can I
do nothing to help yon to bar it ?"
" Nothing," dryly answered the girl.
" I am not deceived. Odette : vou do
""u i rwit-u uiiHutu, uitt-eriy,
" Well, then, I do not think I do
you. she said, yieldiug to ah impulse
of sincerity. " I have been struggling
many days against tins truth for a time
I would not acknowledge it to myself.
Now you have wrung it from me, and it
Sains me to cause your heart this wound,
lut whatcanl do? Forgive me ! Oh,
forgive me, Gaston I deceived myself
before deceiving you. You will forgive
me, will yon not ?"
Gaston was very pale, but his eyes
glowed fiercely. Moving slowly, slowly
away from her side, ho said, 'in a low
voice : "I know, Miss Falkland, to
whom to attribute this quick change in
your feelings for me. I forgive you all,
and I pity you much. Good-bye 1
Good-bye 1" In an instant he was gone.
Two days later he sailed in a steamer
for Liverpool, to overtake the exploring
party, which had left the week before.
Jaded and wishing for change, Odette
from Saratoga went to Newport, Count
Bradsky, of course, following her, eager
ly pressing his suit.
"My dear count," said Odette, as
they strolled in the moonlight, "if yonr
love is like those stars which shine for
a little and quietly disappear at morn
ing, persevere with it it may at least
amuse us both ; but if it threatens to
become a more lasting feeling, you had
better start for Washington to-niorrow."
" Are my addresses objectionable ?"
" To-night no ; but I cannot answer
for them to-morrow."
" My way is to trust much to the mor
row, and I cannot chauge my way. If
the morrow resembles this evening
good ; if it do not better still."
Odette turned in astonishment.
" My laiiKiiasre sounds strnncm to vou
I can explain that. Iu Hungary a man
in love is somewhat of a fool. ' Let mo
indnlge my folly."
" By all means: on condition that von
grant me the privilege to laugh at 'it,"
said Odette, and suiting the action to the
word, sue uttered a low lansh that fc-ll
on the count's ear unpleasantly.
"It cannot be, Miss Falkland, that
nature has endowed you with all her
gifts but one a heart. I will not be
lieve it. A heart you must have, and one
worth winning. I cau wait. I have
been iu the very path of death a dozen
times, and yet I have always escaped
him. Am I challenged to a new battle?
I accept tho challence. and to win tho
guerdon I risk defeat. "'
Ihe air waserowinsr chill, sotliev went
indoors together. Odette sat down to
the piano and beguu to play a Hungarian
innrcn.
"Why. that is the March nf T?i.
koczy,' ' said the count, in a patriotic
rapture. " How kind of you to play it !
It is the war song of my country, made
moiselle !"
Odette then tlaved a Bweet old un
file Monastery Bells."
"If some day you should bo readv to
accept my love, fair ladv, play that 'lit
tle air and I shall understand you."
ery well but suuuose such n
thing might happen, vou know that
some day I had tho fancy to see you no
more. What am I to play then ?"
The count bit his lip, and after a little
hesitation, said : " The,n play the terri
ble ' March of Rakoz v. '"
Summer was followed bv autumn, and
Odette returned to New York to attend
Miss Gardner's wedding bh one of her
bridesmaids. After the happy event had
been duly celebrated, Odette devoted
herself more than ever before to a life of
excitement and pleasure. Winter with
its receptions and balls afforded her
many distractions from tho introspec
tion that was painful to her; yet she was
leading a far from happy life. Count
Bradsky divided his time between
Washington and New York, but was
obliged to be satisfied with answers such
as this: " I like you. very much more
than any frioud that is left to me; but
that is all !"
Mr. Melville Brooks, whom Odette
had not seen since tho day he had given
her that "bit of advice," met her in
Broadway, and they walked up together.
Iij the course of their conversation
Odette asked him timidly if he had heard
of Mr. Sandford since his departure.
"Do you still remember him,
Odette ? Ah, poor Gaston ! he could
not stand the hardships of a journey
across the desert, and is now lying sick
in Kinynnguk, Zanzibar, with but little
hope of recovery. In the last letter I
had from him, he asked for you."
- Odette inquired no further, and after
Earting with Mr. Brooks went quickly
ome. . The maid who opened the door
to her, noticed that her mistress's eyes
were red with weeping. A letter had
come for Miss Falkland, bearing the
Washington postmark. Odette took it
distractedly, and after a long interval
opened and read it. "My dear Miss
Falkland," it ran, " rumors of approach
ing war between Prussia and my coun
try have reached the embassy. The idea
of leaving you makes a coward of me,
and as I mny have my choice iu the mat
ter, I almost think of remaining. May I
hope that this proof of love the great
est, no doubt, a man can give will be
rewarded at last by the performance of
'The Monastery Bells?' I will do my
self the honor to wait on you to-morrew
evening. Yours ever,
"Sandob Bradsky."
"To-morrow evening," mused Odette;
"why, that is to-night." She rang the
bell, and gave the servant who answered
it this instruction: "I am not at home
to anybody this evening except Count
Bradsky." Then she retired to her own
room, and when she appeared some hours
later, traces of tears were still to be seen
on her face. Late in the evening the
count arrived. Odette sat down to the
piano as rigid as a statue. At last the
visitor was announced. Odette did not
turn her head, but struck the key-board
with nervous force, and the air she plared
was the terrible "March of Rakoezy."
The count was about to enter the loom
when tne souna oi me piano 6topped
him at the door. For some moments he
stood motionless, his hands titrhtlv
clasped, listening to the inusio which de
clared His late, aoo proud to speak, or
say a word of parting, be noiselesulv with.
drew; and long ere Odefte had ceased
playing he bad leit the house. He re
turned to his own country, joined the
. - . - 1 J JJL U JllkJIil .1 ill 11VJ1 1. iW JUI I i
: .
troops setting out to oppose the Prus
sians, and died a soldier death on th
field of Sndova.
'
One cold, wet morning a carriage drove
on thfl doek of one of the transatlantic
steamship companies, and Melville
Brooks stepped out. A steamer had been
signaled from Saudy Hook late the night
before, and she was expected in the East
river soon after daylight. One long half
hour elapsed before she made her ap
pearance in the stream, and another be
fore she was made fast; but as soon as
the gangway was thrown across, Mr.
Brooks stepped on board, and made his
way toward a young man heavily
wrapped.
"Welcome back, Gaston, old fellow !"
he cried, giving the young man a sort of
hug, while he scanned his pale face.
"Poor fellow ! Africa has stripped you
of your fine proportions, and left your
oones notmng but a scanty mantle of
skin. Thank God, you are safe home
again, my boy. Your native air will
make you all right again. I have a hack
on the dock; come an4 get in out of this
raw air. '
Mr. Brooks opened the carriage door.
and Gaston had stepped iu before he no
ticed that a woman was there.
"What! Odette! Miss Falkland
liere I Oh ! this is kind, too kind. Be
lieve me, I feel it deeply."
Odettes hps were white and trem
bling, but she could say nothing. Mr.
Brooks had turned away to see to Gas
ton's baggage.
"So you remember your old friend.
and have come to welcome him home
again. You have a good heart;" and
Gaston lifted her hand tenderly, and
kissed it.
"Gaston, Gaston I" said Odette, with
cuoKing utterance, " 1 can bear your re
proaches, but not this goodness. I have
bsen so heartless am so unworthy of
yon, you must not look at mo so yet, or
you wiu maKe me-r-you will make me
cry."
Gently overcoming her resistance, Gas
ton drew her fair face against his weather
beaten one, and was not at all ashamed
to mingle his tears with hers. They had
lovers' confidences to exchange, and the
future to talk of. But Melville Brooks
himself a bachelor once disappointed
in love had stayed away so long that he
could find uo excuse for staying away
any longer; so at last he joined them.
They drove to liis house, where Mrs.
Wentworth was waiting to rcceivo them;
and there was not a happier quartette in
New York that day.
A few weeks later. Odette. Fnlk-lniwl
j became Mrs. Gaston Sandford.
The Benefits or Savings Banks.
An article in Appleton'a Journal ob
jects to tho efforts which apparently are
making iu some quarters to discredit the
savings bank system on account of the
mismanagement of a few banks; and it
prints some very suggestive figures to
show how small are the losses in these,
particular cases compared with the great
benefits derived from the general system.
It says:
There has been entrusted to the sav
ings banks of New York State since their
beginning (from 1810 to January 1, 1876)
the sum of $2,116,858,983. There- has
been paid or credited to depositors dur
ing this period, as profit or interest,81G9,
42:,000, while the banks hold, as a con
tingent fund against exigencies, a sur
plus of nearly $34,000,000. The amount
held by them on January first, 1876 (at
this writing the statistics for the whole
State up to the first of last January are
not in), was $319,000,000. These huge
ngures snow tne vastuess of the interest.
Now, a careful estimate of the losses that
have occurred by failures places them at
about three millions of dollars.
That is to say, the loss is oue-eleventh
of the surplus; one fifty-sixth of the in
terest which the banks have paid to de
positors; one seventh of one per centum
of the whole amount deposited with tho
banks; less than one per centum of the
balance held last year, if tho loss had 9.11
fallen upon that year. Up to 1870 the
wholo loss was lesa than one hundredth
of one per centum of the whole amount
of deposits. These facts do not excuse
mismanagement in particular cases; they
do not excuse the makers and ministers
of law for any failure to throw every pos
sible safeguard around these popular de
positories; but they do vindicate the
confidence in the savings bank system
which has been gaining strength for the
last fifty years.
A Sensitive Old Maiden.
Iu a certain pleasant town iu the coun
ty of Surrey. Eneland. there was
cricket ground nearly surrounded by
houses. One fine morning, jus after a
great match had been played, tho secre
tary of the club received a letter from a
lady " of a certain age," the proprietor
of one of tho adjacent houses, declaring
that her delicacy had repeatedly been
affronted by the sight of gentlemen " in
every stage of nudity," putting on their
cricketing flannels in the open dressing
tent just before her windows. Would
the secretary, therefore, she entreated,
make arrangements for ridding her of
this disgusting spectacle? The secre
tary wrote an apologetic note to Miss
Flefye, and at the match the dressing
tent was placed at the opposite corner of
tho cricket ground, at least three hun
dred yards from the lady's window. Im
agine the secretary's astonishment at re
ceiving the next morning a second letter
thanking him for "his obviously
kind intentions," but regretting that they
were of no avail, as Bhe "could see the
gentlemen's legs, witn a telescope, just
as plainly as before."
. . A Lawyer's Wooing.
Charles O'Conor's peculiar wooing is
thus told by the Washington corre
spondent of the Cleveland Herald :
" The young and beautiful widow of
Commodore McCraoken of our navy re
turned from abroad, and, finding her
financial affairs in a complicated state,
went to Mr. O'Conor to get his legal ad
vice. Mr. O'Conor discovered that the
commodore had died insolvent and the
beautiful widow was left to the cold
mercies of a selfish world without a
penny to call her own. This he was
jbliged to break to her, whereupon she
held up her hands in piteous dismay
crying: Oh, Mr. O'Conor, what shali
I do ? I who have lived in luxury all
my life 1' ' Madam,' said the great law
yer, ' the best advie I can give you is to
marry me, ' They were married,"
A Vicious Fish.
Right whales' frequently find their
way into the Bay of Fundy, and are
there captured. The bay is also a fa
vorite resort for the thrasher and the
swordflsh. I have heard old coasters say
that they had seen thrashers forty-five
and fifty feet long, moving ith great
velocity on the surface of the water, their
heads raised ten and twelve feet above.
Bay of Fundy fishermen, iu speaking of
them, say they are the greatest of eea
villains. Twenty odd years ago one of
these sea monsters got caught on a sand
bar, where lie was left by the rapid fall-:
ing of the tide in the Cumberland branch
of the Bay of Fundy, and was killed by
the people on shore after an exciting
struggle. He measured forty-six feet
in length. As Capt. Nemo says, the
head is flat and serpent-like, the eyes al
most red, with ugly white circles over
them. Indeed, notliimr could be more
repulsive than the head of this sea 'mon
ster. The only other sea villain they
are known to fraternize with is the
swordflsh. Both are well known to old
coasters and fishermen as the deadly
enemy of tho whale; mid it is the com
mon belief that they hunt in couples,
and on finding tho whale make immedi
ate war, the swordflsh attacking beneath
and tho thrasher on top.
The common belief is that the thrasher
has a huge weapon, very like a sledge
hammer, protruding from his mouth,
with which he administers on the whale's
back those terrible blows you can hear
ten or twelve miles distant. I have my
self stood on a bluff overlooking the Bay
of Fundy, and witnessed three of these
terrible battles between a whale and his
enemies, tho swordflsh and the thrasher.
The swordlish did his deadly work un
derneath, while, ns Capt. Nemo says,
the thraRher coiled himself half over the
whale, and applied the blows with his
ponderous tail. In the distance, how
ever, the thrasher seems to raise and let
his weapon fall veiy much as a black
smith's helper handles his sledge. You
could see the weapon rise and fall ; you
could hear the blows distinctly, although
the distance was believed to he not less
than ten miles from shore, and you could
also hear the whale bellow and see him
blow. On one of these occasions the
terrible contest lasted nearly three
hours, the water in the vicinity being
red with blood. About every fifteen or
twenty minutes the whale would disap
pear in an attempt to escape from his
enemies; but they would quickly pursue
him and force him to the surface, where
the combat would be renewed.
These two sea villains, the swordflsh
and thrasher, invariably kill the whale
when they get him into close quarters;
and as soon as the combat ceases, which
can be clearly seou by the whale's body
floating motionless, the thnwher will
proceed to clear water, where, raising
his serpent-like head iu triumph, ten
twelve, und fifteen feet abovo the sur
face, he will continue for fifteen and
sometimes twenty minutes lushing the
sea into a foam.
Anxious to See It.
A good story comeB from Hungary and
is told in the Cologne Gazette. A party
of Btrolliug players came to the town of
Torda and set about to give an enter
tainment. Everything possible to their
limited resources was done to attract an
audience, but when tho curtain rore
naught was to be seeu in the auditerium
but a most beggarly account of empty
boxes only here and there a man. The
actor stepped to the footlights and ex
plained that the play could not proceed
before so small au audience. "What
will you take to play the thing for me ?"
asked a gentleman named Marinka.
"Fifty gulden. " was the replv. "All
right; fire ahead; I'll pay the shot," said
the noble Mieceuas. The play began,
but before the end of tho first act Ma
rinka sang out: "There! I've had
enough of that; let's see the second act."
In the second act there was a very inter
esting scene, which caused Marinka to
exclaim: " Here ! go back and do the
thing over again. " In the third act the
new Mieceuas yawned and cried:
"There! that'll do. Rintr down the
curtain and follow me." The curtain
was rung down and Marinka took the
players to a tavern, where they all made
a night of it. The treat cost him forty
florins, besides the fifty erulden he paid
for the play.
Do Dogs 'Reason I
The Sacramento liecord- Union relates
this incident : A resident of Sacramento
is the proprietor of a dog and cat, which
are great friends, and appear to have
much pleasure in each other's society.
They play together, eat together and
hunt together. Yesterday they were
each given a piece of meat. The dog
swallowed his at one gulp, but the cat
proceeded more (slowly, the dog mean
while standing by with a countenance
which bore evidence of a willingness
amounting to anxiety to help the feline
with the job in baud. Tho cat, however,
would not be assisted, but growled de
terminedly whenever the dog approached
too near. The latter looked on reflect
ingly for a minute longer but suddenly
was seized with au idea. A few yards
distant was a knothole at which they bad
been accustomed to watch for rat's and
mica. Running to this hole, the canine
commenced a brisk scratching and vigor
ous barking, as though a whole colony
of rats were in sight. The cat ran to the
hole to assist in the capture, and the
dog completed his strategical demonstra
tion by swallowing the meat. .
A Father's Effort.
An extraordinary suit was brought be
fore a San Francisco court. Francis
Skeffington, who is jjenniless, sued his
Bon John, who is very rich, for alimony
and counsel fees. The plaintiff urged
that he was the author of John's being
and ought to be fed, clothed and housed
in his old age at John's expense. Judge
Wheeler ruled that the law did not com
pel a son to support his father, and
that the old gentleman was not entitled
to alimony.
The poet who wanted to be a granger,
and wrote : " Beneath the Tall Tomato
Tree I'd Swing the Glittering Hce," was
not so badly informed as he se med. Mr.
Scott, of Los Angeles, has a tomato vtue
twenty-five feet high. '
Amusements of RoraHy,
A correspondent, writing of the win
ter pleasures of royalty in Canada, de
scribes an evening's amusement at the
home of the Lord and Lady Dufferin.
He says I I witnessed a cotillion so thor
oughly original in itn details that a de
scription of it will doubtless be interest
ing to some of our New York readers.
First, A fCW of ehairs was arranged on
the four sides of tho ballroom and occu
pied by all who could find places. Then
followed a waltz for perhaps a minute,
after which a young lady took her seat
in tho middle of tho ballroom and, hold
ing a toilet glass, was approached from
behind by one gentleman after another,
until she recoguized her choice, when
she was up and away." Meanwhile, each
of the disappointed aspirants for her
hand was obliged to mount a chair, un
til another general waltz succeeded;
then a gentleman, being blindfolded,
was called upon to select a partner from
a lady or a partner of his own sex, who
were stealthily placed in his front. If
he chose tho man the laugh was, of
course, against him, while the lady was
whirled around by one of the genial
aides-de-camp. A third device consisted
in giving tin whistles and bells to gen
tlemen, and requiring them to Btand on
their chairs until they blew up or rung
up some sympathetic and considerate
feminine partner. In the fourth in
stance a monster dice, as large as a dry
goods box, was successively thrown by
four players, one of whom was Lord
Uullerm, and the person making the
biggest throw had his choice of the lady
who was put as the prize. In the fifth
act the Countess Dufferin started off
alone on a brisk polka, selected a gentle
man, and then alternately danced from
one side of the room to the other, pick
ing up partners of both sexes, when the
line, being inconveniently long, broke up
into waltzing couples. Again, aprons
and nightcaps were furnished two of the
cavaliers, who were required to tie both
before either could claim the handsome
prize. Finally, four huge, ridiculously
masked individuals, robed in white, who
had been led out by Captain Ward, one
of the masters of ceremony, made their
appearance and rendered the scene hilari
ous until the close. As you may well
imagine, it was all fun, innocent and en
joyable by everybody, and by none more
' than the earl and his youthful countess.
Among the many other pleasures which
Dufferin Hall affords, and which the peo
ple of Ottawa feel proud in being invit
ed to, are the private theatricals,ou which
occasions the characters are personated
by Lady Dufferin, the immediate mem
bers of her household and two or three
immediate friends who reside in the city.
Clergymen and Trades Unions.
A London letter to the San Francisco
Post says : It is gratifying to observe
that the second meeting of the clergy
men of London and some of .the leading
trades unionists has excited more inter
est than the first did. It is thought that
the clergymen in this movement are im
bued with the noble aspiration to pre
pare themselves for an intelligent dis
charge of their duties as priests. They
have noted the working classes organiz
ing continuously and effectually, and
desire to become better acquainted with
the leaders of their movements. The
spectacle is one of peculiar interest, as
perhaps indicating the growth of a party
within the State church who desire a
separation of tho spiritual and temporal
connection. Tho high church party are
ripo for a change, being dissatisfied with
their present position. It is thought by
several gentlemen with whom I have
conversed upon the subject one an edi
tor of a London daily, one a public writer
of repute, and one a secretary of a politi
cal society that behind the movement
of the clergy to meet the trade unionists
lies a desire to prepare the way for be
coming the church of the people. The
vast majority of the workingmen of this
country are affiliated with no church,
being indifferent ; but if thev incline
any way, it is to the church of England,
especially in the towns and cities. If
the clergymen of that church identify
themselves with tho workmen's move
ments, they will easily distance the dis
senters in their estimation and favor.
We must not pass this movement by as
unimportant, as the spirit that prompted
it will continue to work, and peacefully
effect a great change in the relations of
the church to the people.
Many clergymen greatly regret a lost
opportunity that they and the squires
had with the agricultural laborers. Had
these two parties united in helping
poor Hodge to gain the small increase in
his scant pay that he contented himself
iu demanding from the farmers, they
would have perpetuated their power in
the counties the Troy tlronghold for
an indefinite period. Now, when the
laborers acquire the right to vote, they
will regard the squire and thq clergy at
their natural political opponents. The
clergy, who have imbibed soma of the
liberal culture of the last half century,
do not desire to see their chance pass
with the town artisans as it has passed
with the rural laborers ; hence their
latest effort to cultivate better and more
intimate acquaintance with the secre
taries and officers of the workiugmen's
trade unions.
A Xaughty Girl.
"Mary, you are very naughty this
morning," said a kind old lady to a little
girl whom she had taken under her care,
" but you must learn your lesson. I
will leave you for a short time, and, when
I come back, I hope to find you a good
girL" Mary was loft in tears, and in a
very ill humor; but on the old lady's re
turn, the tears had given place to smiles,
and Mary, running up to her aunt, ex
claimed in great glee : " Dear aunt,
kiss me ! for Mary will never be naughty
again; Mary has burned that nasty book
which made her so naughty this morn
ing." Did he Really tfeau It!
Said a fond mother at the table of a
fashionable Chicago hotel, the other
day:
" Do you know, my little son, that the
word menu' is French for bill of
fare?"
" Oh, yes, mamma," was the assuring
replv, if menu it !
Tiie mother fainted right there. Rha
wa afraid her boy would grow up to be
a paragrapoer editor,
NO. 6.
Burgundy.
Burgundy Isn't a good thing to drink i
. . i n M.MrtHfr inn think.
xouiiK man. l urawxu ' "j
Or else in your nose, and likewise in your toes,
xou ii aiscover me inum u ""e-'v
Burgundy rose, Burgundy rose,
A dangerous symptom is Burgundy rose.
Tis a very nice wine, and as mellow as milk f
"Tis verv nice color in satin or silk j
. , . .n" .1 in-aaHtfintllrinntll
JJUl you 11 cuange tout ui'uuwu
In a halo Around the extreme of your nose (
ti .1 . . 1..H..nv .nea
'Tis a very bad thing at the tip of your toes.
Items or Interest.
A mnn cnunot win colden opinions by
the exhibition of his brass.
A mnn with corns felt botter after
meeting a man with no feet.
Tf tTft 1mv ton much music in TOUT
sole, soak the bottom of your shoes.
There is no autocrat like tlie baroor
who holds you by the nose while he
talks.
Kn Ipt unvbodv drive vou to dis
traction you may not be able to get
DacK.
navmanv'a TOanhif inn not to TO into
the French exposition of 1878 ia un-
sh aken.
A mnn'o dnnrpnt obieet should be his
wife, but, alas ! sometimes it is his wife's
wardrobe.
A late book is entitled " Half Hours
with Insects." What a lively hali hour
one can have with a bee 1
As a sign of a revival of business, we
mav mention flint A number of fiTentle-
meu have lately inquired the price of a
?i -I -1..A1
SUlt OI ClOlUCB.
Tivnnnnina ttr.tatnpfl nrfl boiled befoi'O
frying, and are put into a pan with but
ter and onion, and tne mmceu pursiry
thrown in before the potatoes are done.
It clings to the potatoes.
Tf. iu n lif.t.ln Hinmilnr now miiell valua
ble time a woman will take up in study
ing tne postniarK oi a lewer io see wurru
it. miiM from, wlipn nhfi can open the
letter and find out at once.
The manufacture of oleomargarine.
or artificial butter, is rapidly extending,
and large factories for its production are
springing up in nearly all the principal
cities. The business is said to be lucra
tive. The premium bale of cotton, which
won the 81,000 prize at the Centennial
Exhibition, is to be sent to the interna
tional horticultural exhibition in Hol
land by the cotton exchange of Mem
phis. They tell of a prominent grocer who
carried to a funeral an umbrella on
which was painted conspicuously the
business of his house, and held it over
the preacher's head while he conducted
the service.
Two ragged little urchins were'stand-
ing in the gutter looking at a lady who
had just fallen down on the pavement.
" It isn t so much that I like oranges."
observed one of them, "but what a lot
of people vou can brine- down with the
peel!"'
Johnny was telling his ma how he was
going to dress and show off when he waa
a man. His ma asked : " Johnny, how
do you expect to get your living when
you get to be a man?" "Well," said
Johnny, " I'll get married and live with
my wile's pa."
A husband finding a piece broken out
of his plate and another out of his
saucer, petulantly exclaimed to his wife :
" My dear, it seems to me that every
thing belonging to you is broken."
" Well, yes," responded the wife. " even
you seem to be a little cracked."
Professor of chemistry "Suppose
you were called to a patient who had
swallowed a heavy ?ose of oxalic acid,
what would you administer ?" K.
(who is preparing for the niiniitry, and
only takes chemistry because it is ob
ligatory) "I would administer the sacra
ment."
A spendthrift, who had wasted nearly
all his patrimony, seeing an acquaintance
in a coat not of the newest cut, told him
he thought it had been his great-grandfather's
coat. "So it was," said the
gentleman ; " and I have also my great
grandfather's land, which is more than
you can Bay."
An Eastern speculator passed through
the lowlands of Missouri and Kansas
purchasing all sheep afflicted with foot
rot, paying twenty-five to fifty cents a
head, and drovo them to Denver, when
it was discovered that the dry saud had
eradicated the disease, and in many cases
a new hoof had formed.
A clerk in the Russian ordnance office '
at Alexaiidrapol has just been condemned
to penal servitude for life for selling a
plan of the fortress there to the Turks
for the sum of 600 rubles. The KuBBian
military police arrested the clerk in
question on Turkish territory before he
nan time to pan witn tne plan.
A calculating housewife lately applied
at a register office for a new servant.
She stated that Bhe had discharged her
last on the suspicion that she was dis
honest, because she had given her stven
apples to peel and she had only returne l
her twenty-seven quarters, when there
should nave beeu twenty-eight.
An Irishman by the following Byllogism
proved himself the best man in flie world.
"xou cau (he stud) find as (rood a man in
Ireland as in any other country in the
world ; and Kerry can produce as good a
man as any county in Ireland ; now, my
brother is acknowledged to be the best
man in Kerry, and I am able to beat my
brother."
A man at Placerville. flul Ii
7 ,, , . w
casion recently to erect a new building
whore an old ono stood, a party of miners
agreed with him to dig out the lot, fill it
in again, anu give uyn nail tlie proceeds.
They found tho eavrh bo rich in gold that
although thev hud to envt. if o 1,.
tanoe in order to wash it, they made a
A curious experiment w:th the mag
net wae recently tried in T.-ml.-...
boy hid broken a needle in the calf of
uiu .eg, uuu ut-iurB resorung to surgical
instruments it was decided to try the
fleet of a powerful magnet in withdraw
ing the steel. After a number of ex
periment in different positions the nee
dle was drawn near the surface on the
opposite side of the leg from which it
entered and waa easily withdrawn, " '