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Two Dollars per Annum.
HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and publisher.
NIL DESPEHAlTDtJMi
NO. 52.
VOL. VI.
RIDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, FEB11UA11Y "15, 1877.
Did She Love Them All I
I keep them In the old, old box
That Willio gave me yenra ago,
The time we parted on the rocks ;
. His oliip lay swinging to mid fro,
At waiting in tho lower hay (
I thought my heart would" break that day.
Tho picture with the peiiMve eyes
Is Willie's? No, dear, that's young Blake,
' Who took tho West Point highest prize t
lie. went hnlf crazv for my sake.
- litre are u lot of rhymei he wrote,
And here's a button off his confi
If this his ring ? My dearest May,
I never took a ring from him !
This was a gift from Howard Clay j
.flint see tho pearls are getting dim ;
They say that pearls are tears what stuff!
Tho setting looks a little rough.
He was as handsome ns a prince
And jealous ! lint he wont to Home
Last fall ! He's never written since.
I used to vinit at his home
"Movely place beyond Fort Lee ;
h mother thought the world of me !
Oh, no ! I sent his letters back.
These enme to mo from Washington.
Hut look, what a tremendous pack ;
He always wrot'i me three for one.
I know I used to treat him ill
Pour Jack he fell at C'haneellorsville.
Tho vignettes all that lot are scalps
1 tool; in London, Naples, Nice,
At Paris and among tho Alps ;
Those foreign lovers act like geeso i
But, dear, they are such handsome men.
We go to France, next year, again !
This is the doctor's signet ring.
These faded (lowers ? Oh, let me see ;
Why, what a very curious thing !
Who could have sent those flowers to me ?
Ah ! now I have it Count do Twirl j
IIo married that fat Crosbio girl.
His hair wag red. You need not look
So adly at that raven tress.
"TSTKKft the head that lock forsook j
You know but you could never guess I
Nor would I tell you for the world
About whose brow that ringlet curled.
Why won't I tell ? Well, partly, child,
liecauf-e you like the man yourself ;
lint most bcanse don't get so wild !
I havo not laid him on the shelf
He's not a bygone. In ayear
1 11 tell you all about him, dear.
LITTLE MIM.
The only point on which Joe Puulby
and I could ever bring ourselves to agree
was that his cousin Mini was the only
young lady in the world who was worth
falling iu love with. Joe Puulby was
eight, I wai seven, and his cousin Mini
was six. Joe was a strong, rough,
troublesome, rude boy, and I wus small
and weak and delicate ; and if it hud not
been that we were both deeply in love
with the same young lady, I believe I
should have hated him. That solitary
bond of sympathy served to bind us more
iu less firmly to each other, and I seldom
quarreled with him, except when his re
Hi"l for her showed, signs of cooling
down.
She was a prevtv, fragile litMe lady,
She loved us both very dearly, but I
tii'nk Joe was her favorite. He was a
ni le, unpleasant boy to others, but to
her he wns quiet and gentle enough ; and
perhaps this palpable evidence of sub
mission appealed more directly to the little
iudy than my undemonstrative and color
lv.:s affection. But she was very fond of
me, for nil that.
'Neither Joe nor I hud any parents,
au-.l we lived with Mim's papa m n great, i
aui:
it, draughty house in Bloomsbury
squill'
ire. Captain raulby was our guaril-
i.m a tall, bony, nnsymputhetio wid
ower, who governed his house, as if it
hnd been a' regiment of soldiers. A scale
of dietary was hung up iu the nursery,
and from it one learned how many quar
ter ounces of cocoa, how many half
pounds of bread, ami how many table
Hpoonfuls of arrowroot we consumed iu
the week. An order book wus brought
into tho nursery every morning, iu which
the detail of the day's duties was care
fully set out, and to the instructions it
contained implicit and unmurmuring
obedience was exacted. It regulated the
hours of rising nnd going 'to bed, the
school hours and the hours of relaxation,
when and where we were to walk, and
what we were to wear.
We were placed in charge of a nurse
Nurse Stark, a tall, muscular, hardened
woman of forty. She had a stern, unre
lenting face, eloso lips, hard gray eyes,
and a certain smooth roundness of figure
which, on looking back, suggests tho
idea of its having been tinned in a lathe.
I never see tho old woman who lets lodg
ings in a pantomime without thinking of
Nurse Stark. I a'u bound to say, how
ever, thnt sho wus scrupulously indeed,
npgravntingly clean nud neat, nnd in
that respect, of course, the analogy falla
to the ground.
Nurse Stork was not actively unkind
to us; indeed, I believe shefhad cheated
herself into a belief that she was rather
weak luuided and indulgent than other
wise, but in this she wns in error. I
believe she was fond of us in a hard, un
yielding way, but f-h'3 was midden and
impulsive in h"r movements, and never
handled us without hurting us. There
ovu n uousemaiu jane toiler wno oc-
Jfcnsionally helped to put us to bed, and
was a housemaid Jane Cotter who oc-
tie fl-i.rliteno.l mnniwr if dmili'ncr with I v,.l nt nun.l Vi nllnw rlnH vf miff ircn. i Under which to take shelter lie bet
ivir.h mifimr. ivaira nt Iihi cium mill n ctpii- i Plmwli .fii bfvnf nm Nnvco Vtnrlr nil n k.
her boisterous playmate which seldom I tleimm to spend the afternoon with us, I Mm8eH to J1:e"d from the ass
f-.ilul kmitliim i.incnwnf fiV,W .,,,.1 , .. , t.,..( ., i ., u l,iu vnriV.l uviul JUmSOlI UUdCr ItS SIlBllOW. 1 lie
sometimes Nurse Stark undressed us his question: "And how is our little
while Jane yut our hair into ourl pa-1 Ethel?" that she was much better, aud
pers, and so'Aimea Nurse Stark did ! hoped in a day or two to be quite well
a i c'111' wbiie -Jhino undressed us. , again. After a time she was removed to
And the manner In whljh these duties ! another room, which was always darkeu
were to bo divided becamf? a matter of i ed, nud towhieh we were seldom admitted,
no light speeiili't'on to us us IWiing ap- ! and only one at ft time. An mid chnuge
prouched; for it was Nurse Sturlr'a cus- i seemed to come over us all. Nurse Stark
torn to pull the locks of hair out to ftw-ir ! was quite kind now, aud used to read to
IUUlength.andtheniv.il tl.an .,i J i,. f. r. J,nn mxwl lifflH children
piece of
- . -w. .... , ivuuii it
. pnner, twisUng the ends trw
irauier when thn mrl 1....1 i .......
well home, whereas June Cotter first
mndo the curl up fiat with her fingers,
and then moused it gently in a triangu
lar paper which she pinched with the
tongs. Jane Cotter's flat curls were
pleasant to sleep upon, but Nurse Stark's
corkscrews phiced a comfortable night's
rest out of the ouestion. Tt ia
ble to sleep in peace with a double row i
of balk, each as big ns a lnrge chestnut,
round your head. You can't move with
out giving four or five of them . a
wrench.
I think we'must lmve been sufficiently
happy bs b rule, or Suudny would not
hr.ve stood out iu such gaunt and deso
late contrast to the other days of the
week. There reigned in our nursery an
unaccountable fiction that Sunday was a
holiday, and in deference to this tradi-
) tron we endeavored to cheat ourselves
'iito a belief that we were glad when that
ditv nrrivod. Kundiiv lipfrnn nt n vprv
I early hour iu Bloomsbury. It began to
j ring itself in at half past so n, when we
I got up, nnd continued to ring, itself
through the day at short intervals, until
j it finally rang itself out, nnd us into
' bed, at hnlf past eight in. the evening.
There were drawbacks, however, to our
i enjoyment of the day. I think we were
required to tackle more collect than is
I good for a child of six or seven, nnd per
i haps we did not quite understand the
I bearing of that shorter catechism which
a iiencit ot tliouglmul bishops lias pre
pared for the express use of very young
children. Even Nurse Stark, a liigh au
thority on all points of church contro
versy, never succeeded iu placing its
meaning quite beyond all question. Hut
Nurse Stark had a special Sunday frame
of mind which discouraged close ques
tioning, and on that dny of the week she
was exceptionally short nnd sharp in her
replies. She baffled our interrogatories
by pointing out to us that there was
nothing so unbecoming as a tendency to
ask questions, which seemed to us a
little inconsistent when wo considered
the inquisitive character of her share in
the catechism.
I believe I liked going to church,
though I am sure Joe I'nulbv did not.
That rugged boy never lookeil so hot or
so rumpled ns he did during divine ser
vice. As I look back upon Joe in
church I nm nlwoys reminded of the ap
pearance of restless decorum presented
by a minstrel " bones " during the sing
ing of a plaintive ballad. Joe occupied
himself during the service in laying the
foundations ot a series of pains ami pen
nltiea which usunlly lasted well into
i Thursday, for Nurse Stark hnd a quick
eye for misdemeanors, and every crime
liad its apportioned punishment. Poor j
little Mini was too delicate to go to '
church, and used to Bit nt home in theo- i
logicnl conference with Jane Cotter, I
whose picturesque nnd highly dramatic ;
idea of luture rewards nnd punishments
! had a special interest for the poor little
lady.
Por Mini hnd been told that even
children die sometimes, aud both Nurse
S'ark and Jane had a long catalogue of
stories in which good little people were
cut off in their earliest years, and bad
little people lived on to au evil old nge.
Mini wns often weak and nilins. nnd nt
such times the recollection of these J
stones came upon her. Nurse Stark s
grim, hard manner relaxed wheu she
was speaking to the little sick childaud
her kindness to Mini, gaunt and grudg
ing as it was, seemed to increase with the
trouble the child gave her a never
leasing source of wonderment to Joe a-d
myself, who were only in favor when we
ceased to occupy Nurse Stark's atten
tion. Nurse Stark had a brother, a boy
of twelve or thereabouts ( though we be
lieved him to be eight and twenty at
least), who was a page nt a doctor s in
powers. Gaspar for that wns his un
fortunate name was anniented boj',
with a taste for acrobatic conjuring,
killing flies and putting lobworms down
Mini's back; but, notwithstanding these
powerful recommendations, we looked
coldly upon him, and, ou the wholo dis
couraged his visits. He had ft way of
challenging Joe uud rue to fight lain with
one of .liw hands tied behind las back,
by way of a handicap, which was not
wlutt you look for in n visitor, and,
moreover, compromised our reputation
for valor in Man's eyes. On the whole
he was not popular with us, and eventu
ally he was proscribed bv Nurse Stark
j herself, on a charge of filling the nur
i wry cnndle with gunpowder, which ex-
ploded nnd burned poor little Mini's eye-
brows nud ej elashe. Gaspnr eventually
; got into trouble about some original
dia iights of his own composition, which
j he supplied to his master's patients us
: healing waters mndo up in accordance
; with that gentlemau's prescriptions, and
, spent several years in a reformatory.
I have a dismal impression of the
' wretched afternoons that Mini and Joe
' mid I used to spend together in our great
! bare play-room. We were locked in by
j Nui"-e Stark nt about five every after
i noon, nnd not released until nbout seven,
; when wo hnd supper ; and ns the shad
ows deepened and the fire got lower and
I lower, we crowded together in a corner
; for warmth, nnd told each other strange
i stories about princes and noblemen who
s were tortured by cruel and vindictive
! page boys, with an occasional touch from
I Joe Paulby upon caverns, demons, vam-
pires, and other ghostly matters, until
I poor little Mim screamed uloud with
j terror.
i She was a pretty, fragile, eweet teru
, pered clinging little soul, far too delieute
' for the coarse, inconsiderate treutment to
j which she was subjected, in common
' with ourselves. So nt Inst she became
; seriously ill, aud we noticed that the poor
little child grew thinner and paler in her
: cot, day ufter day, day niter day. She
was very cheerful, although bo weak,
; nnd when the tall, grave, kind doctor
came day after day nt first, aud then to-
want tne last (lor sne died) two or inree
: times a doy she would say, in reply to
nil v 1 1 1 1. uun ri " "
v ho lived and were very happy), and leu
stories, and make beef tea for her, and
turn the cold side of the pillow to her
poor little fevered head. And the oddest
port of the thing wns that Nurse Stark
was kind to us too, and used to come of
her own accord to tell ns how Mim wns
(she was always a little better), and what
messuges she sent us, nud how fihe
seemed to take h new pleasure in the toy
she had ouce discarded. Aud then she
would take us, one nta time, to the sick
room, and we were allowed at first to
speak to her, but afterward only to sit on
the edge of the bed (it was Bueh n big bed
now 1) and hold her little dry hand. Joe
Pnulby would come back crying (it was
ft strange thing to Bee him cry, and it
touched me as it touches me now to see a
big man in tears), and he "would Bpend
his half-pence they were rare enough,
poor fellow in picture books for our
poor little dying wife. But a time came
when even the picture books were for
bidden, nnd then the whole house was
enjoined to silence, nnd the grave doc
tor graver now than ever came and
went on tiptoe. And if we stole to the
little girl's bedroom, as we often did, we
were pretty sure to find great hard Nurse
Stork in tears, or with traces of tears
upon her face ; nnd once, when Joe and
I crept down to the room, nnd looked in
at the half-opened door, we saw the
shadow of Nurse Stark on her knees,
thrown by the flickering firelight on the
wnll. Then we knew that the end was
near.
One dny Captain Puulby came home
earlier than usual, looking very grave,
and with him came the kind doctor, and
with them another doctor, an older man,
but also very kind. They went up into
little Mini's room, and they staid so long
1 that Joe and I stole down from our cold
dnrk plnv-room to hear, if we could, the
reason of his uncle's unexpected return,
And Joe and I cried as if our hearts
would break, for our dear little wife was
dying.
Captain Pnulby came out of the room,
nnd, seeing us in the passage, told us
quite kindly to go back to the play
room. Joe Pnulby went, but I begged
Captain Pnulby to let mo see my dear
little playmate once more : nnd, ninrmed
by my excited manner nnd my
choking i
soils, lie admitted me. .
I hnd not seen her for two days, nnd
Bhe wns grently chnnged. She looked
so little iu that big bed that the two
doctors nnd Captain Pnulby and Nurse
Stark seemed absolutely gigantic as they
nil bent, silently nnd without motion,
over the little child. I think we must
have remained so for nearly two hours,
the silence undisturbed except by an oc-
onsional whisper trom one ot the doctors
and n sob from Nurse Stark. When I
first went into the dnrk room Ethel wus
asleep, but eventually she recognized
me, and begged to be allowed to kiss
me, ns she was nearly quite well. They
laid mo on the bed by her side, nnd her
little thin arms were placed around my
neck, nnd there we lay motionless, both
ef us, in deep, deep silence. At length
I became conscious of a movement
among the doctors, nnd theu n loud ring
ing wail from Nurse Stark told me that
my little wife was quite, quite well
again.
The Shadow of an Ass.
The Greeks had a proverb that run
thus : " To dispute on the shadow of an
nss." This took rise from nu unecdote
which 'Demosthenes is said to have relat
ed to the Athenians to excite their atten
tion during his defense of n criminal
which was being but inattentively lis
tened to. "A traveler," he said,
(?no?
went from Athens to Megara on a hired
ass. It happened to be at the time of the
log duys, and at notnil. He was much
exposed to the unmitigated heat of the
and not finding so much as u bush
lought
and seat
owner of
tho donkey, who accompanied hiin. ob
jected to this, declaring to him that wheu
he let the animal the use of it shadow
was not included in tho bargain. Tho
dispute at hist grew so warm that it got
to blows, and finally gave rise to au action
of law." After having said so much,
Demosthenes continued the defense of
his client ; but hit auditors, whose curi
esity he had piqued, were anxious to
know how the judgesdecided on so singu
lar a cause. Upon this the orator
commented severely on their childish iu-
iustice iu devouring with attention a pal
try Btory nbout an asses' shndow while
they turned a dent enr to acnuse iu which
the life of a liumnn being was involved.
From that day when a man showed a
preference for discussing small and con
temptible subjects to great and iinportnut
ones he was said "to dispute ou the
shadow of an ass."
The Great Snow of !;$.
The following reminiscence of the i
great snowfall of 1836, from the Syra- i
cuse Journal, will be read with interest:
We chanced to meet two old settlers i
neither very old men, but nevertheless (
among those considered the oldest in- :
habitants in these parta. One of them
lived at Auburn in the great snow year, 1
1836, when the people were fairly snow- i
ed into their dwellings. He says the :
supply of fuel ran out, and the men
turned out, and being unable to go be- '
youd the village bounds, were obliged to 1
cut down the ornamental trees in the i
streets and doorjards to keep themselves i
nud families from freezing. The other !
wns a resident of Baldwinsville at that
time, and he snys that the supply of fuel
running out, the men of that place were
obliged to cut down a very handsome
nnd valuable grove of trees, within the
village limits, to provide means of heat
ing their dwellings. There was then no
coal used, and the dependence for fuel
was entirely upon wood.
In the great snowfall of '36, there was
au average depth of enow on the ground
of at least four feet, in all this part of
the country. It was fully six feet deep
m Snlmn street, then the mam thorough-
fare. Such a body of snow soon draws
the frost from the earth underneath it,
and by the heat of the ground a gradual
melting taker place. This is why the
snow settles wheu it reaches three feet
or so in depth, and why, no matter how
much fnlls, the mass on the ground does
not increase in aeptn.
The lawyer who defended Daniel
Price, convicted of murder in Warren
ton, Mo., mounted the scaffold just bo
fore the execution, and said to the spec
tators: " You are now about to witness
the execution of a fellow being of whose
innocence I have not the least doubt. I
tell you, fellow citizens, thnt iu the exe
cution of this man the people of Warren
county aro about to commit a most
heinous crime that of executing an in
nocent man." Price also protested his
innocence.
SPECIE RESUMPTION.
,MrMte of Prrnhlrnt lirnnt.-A Four IVr
Cent. Ilond ItrcoiniiieiMled lixclmajienble
for Legal Tender Mole. 9
The following is the President's mes
sage on the subject of the resumption of
specie payments :
To the Senate and House of Hcpre
sentatives ; By the act of Congress
approved January 14, 1875, "To provide
for the resumption of specie payments,"
the first of Januiny, 1879, is fixed us the
date when such resumption is to begin.
It may not be desirable to fix an earlier
date when it shall actually become obli
gatory upon the government to redeem
its outstanding legal tender notes in coin
on presentation, but it is certainly most
desirable and will prove most beneficial
to every pecuniary interest of the coun
try to hasten the dny when the paper
circulation of the country and the gold
coin shall have equal values. At a later
day if currency and coin should retain
equal values it might become advisable
to authorize a direct resumption. I be
lieve the time has come when by a sim
ple act of the legislative branch of the
government this most desirable result
can bo attained. I am strengthened in
. , f,.o.i !, tnirmi 1
this view 1
in the last tw
twr. vpnr nn.l hv tiA atveno-tli i
of the credit of the United States at home j
and abroad.
ror the fiscal year ending June 30, i
187G, the exports of the United States
exceeded the imports by 120,213,102,
but our exports include $40,569,621 of
specie and bullion in excess of the im
ports of the same commodities. For the
six months of the present fiscal yenr
from July 1, 1876, to January 1, 1877,
the excess of exiiorts over ' imports
amounted to 8107,544,869, nnd the im-
! ports of specie nnd bullion exceeded the
;..,,...(.,. f Hw,;.,0 ,.if..io i. 4i; 100 .
147 in the same time. The nctual excess
of exports over imports for the six
months, exclusive of specie and bullion,
amounted to 8113,737,040, showing for
the time being the accumulation of
specie aud bullion in the country amount
ing to more than 86,000,000, in addition
to the national product of these metals
for the same period a total increase of
gold and silver for the six mouths not far
short of 860.000,000. It is evident that
unless this great increase of the precious
unless mis great increase 01 me pieeioun
metals can be utilized at home in bucIi J
way as to mnke it in some manner re
munerative to holders, it must seek a
foreign market ns sur. ly ns would any
other product of the soil or manufactory.
Any legislation which will keep coin aud
bullion at home will, in my judgment,
soon bring about practical resumption,
ond will add the coin of the country to
the circulating medium, thus securing n
healthy "inflation" of a sound currency
to tne great advinjige 01 every ipgiu
' mate business interest.
The act to provide for the resumption
! of specie payments authorized the secre
j tnry of the treasury to issue bonds of
! either of the descriptions named in the
' act of Congress approved July 4th, 1870,
! entitled "An act to authorize the refund
i ing of the national debt," for not less
1 than cold. With the present value of
' tho four and one-half per cent, bonds in
I tho markets of the world they could be
; exchanged at par for gold, thus strength
' cuing the treasury to meet the final re
; sumption and to keep the excess of coin
; over the demand, pending its permanent
i use, n circulating medium at home. All
that would further be required would be
: to redu e the volume of legal tender
notes iu circulation. To accomplish this,
I would suggest an act authorizing the
! secretary of the treasury to issue four per
1 cent, bonds, with fortv years to run
! before maturity, to bo exchanged for le
: gal tender notes whenever presented in
' sums of 850 or any multiple thereof, the
: whole umount of such bonds, however,
. net to excee 8150,000,000. To increase
i the home demand for such bonds I would
i recommend thnt thev be available for de
posit in the United States treasury for
j bllnUirjg purl)08es uuder the various pro.
visions of law relating to national banks.
I I would suggest further that national
! banks be required to retain a certain
per cent of the coin interest received
j from the bonds deposi ted by them with
i the treasury to secure their circulation.
. I would also .recommend the repeal of
1 the third section of the joint resolution
: for the issue of silver coin, approved July
! 22, 1876, limiting the subsidiary coin nnd
! fractional currency to 30,000,000. I am
: satisfied that if Congress will enact some
such law as will accomplish tho end sug
gested they will give a relief to the country
instant in its effect and for which they will
receive the gratitude of the whole people.
U. S. Gkakt.
Executive Mansion, Feb. 3, 1877.
Hydrophobia ('uses.
Iu the summer of 1873 the writer of
this article was summering in a country
village m Connecticut, where no case ot
rabies had occurred for many years. Iu
July a family owning a pet Spitz, a very
pretty little animal, took board nt the
hotel for a couple of months. During
July and August of that summer the
mad dog was the standing sensation of
the village, and in all eleven dogs show
ing symptoms of tho disorder were shot.
The Spitz in question wns a quarrelsome
little vagabond, liable to simp at dog or
man with or without provocation, nud
wa no doubt, responsible for everv in
i stance of rabirt eanina that occurred iu
i the village aud vicinity that summer,
j A German family, near Kingslaud, N.
J., Lad a Spitz dog which has bitten the
wife and three children. A son, about
twelve years old, died, and fears are en
tertained that the other three persons
win suner tne same .ate,
Raising Snakes to Kill Bats.
Notwithstanding the great profit
; raising oranges in Florida, the business
nns its perpiexiues. a correspondent
writes : Everybody tulks about orauges.
All that's yellow is not golden fruit, how-
ever, i usieueu 10 a gentleman ou Mat
urday who was relatina- a misfortune.
The rats had climbed his trees and eaten
out all the inside part of nianv of his
oranges without causing the riuds to col
lapse or to fall from the limbs ! He was
going to raise two , particular kinds of
snakes which would Ariva ..w ti, ,.0.
and he had also a somewhat similar plail
for killing the squirrels that visitvd his
orange grove.
Living: Uy Their Mils.
The Eureka (Nevada) Sentinel tells
the following story of the early days of
Eureka, wheu coin was scarce and credit
difficult to obtain, and it used to worry
some of the pioneers to keep a full lnrdef I
There were four jolly good fellows living
up in New York canyon, the owners of
several fine locations, but bankrupt in
purse, and their credit at the stores over
done. Their laziness wns proverbial and
they lived by their wits, and grew lean
on their capital. While at breakfast,
discussing the last remnants of provisions
in the cabin, and already hungry iu an
ticipation of the coming famine, it was
suggested . thnt a beef stew would be iu
order for diiinerj provided the ingredients
could be obtained. There was good
water and excellent salt on baud j tmt
the butcher was obdurate, and the gro
cery keeper hard of heart, and it needed
considerable ingenuity to complete the
list necessary to the concoction of the
savory dish. After much consultation
a plan was finally agreed on that prom
ised success, and the quartette started
for town to put the scheme in execution.
one of the party providing himself with a I
couple of stout pins bent m the lorm of
a hook a necessary outnt n tne piau
worked. On nrriving iu town.
two of the
pnrty lounged nround the door of a gro-
eery, where potatoes, onions, and other
vegetables were temptingly exposed tor
. "--rv i' T V
companion proceeded to tne muciier
shoi). One halted on the threshold and
gazed up aud down the stroet, while the
other engaged the butcher in an animated ! seeds, accurately counted, were kept t o
conversation, in the course of which he plant in an orangery, und the skin duti
pointed to our friend, and hiuted that it j fully delivered to mamma to flavor a
would be a most excellent joke to fasten ; promised cake.
a piece of meat to the idler's coat. The j As might readily have been foreseen,
butcher saw the point and handed over a when these boys became men, the first
huge round steak, which, with the aid of stuck his two thumbs luto his world,
the pins, was fastened to the apparently recklessly tearing it open as he hnd done
unconscious victim's coat tail. As soon
as it was secured in the desired position,
he moved slowly up the street, leaving
the butcher convulsed with laughter at
the success of the joke. The attention
of the bystanders was nttracted to the
strange nppendnge. Some shouted, others
laughed, and the victim increased his
pace to a run, followed by a mob. As I worm until 11 is nan, Biaie unci unpront
he passed the grocery, the confederates j able as a ship biscuit after a long voy
stationed nt thnt point put into execution ! nge.
their part of the scheme by liberally pelt
; - i ; , (
"-K VuV"th potatoes and onions, nn ex- ,
ample followed by the bystanders. He
did not stop that was not in the play i
but he was soon outof view up the canyou, j
going at a gait that wordd have atonished
a race horse. The excitement over, the
three partners sauntered up the street,
stopping by the way to fill their capa
cious pockets with the vegetables so free
ly used as missiles, and then joined their
companion at the cabin, indulging their
mirth over the complete success of their
stratagem. The quartette partook of a
savory beef stew at dinner, much to their
gratification, uud to the disgust of the
butcher when the joke wns explained to
him.
riavlng Chess with Human Men.
Most persons who have any acquaint
ance with the literature of chess have
heard of the games said to have been
ilaved in the middle ages with living
hessmen. According to a news letter
in the Vownr.Lord Lytton has recently
evived this amusement in India. Dur
ing las visit to looitan las lordship,
after receiving nnd replying to au ad
dress from the municipality of the city,
ugnged, we nre told, "in a novel game
of chess with Col. Millett. The chess
board, if such a term may be allowed to
carpet ot red nnd white calico, with
checkers a yard square, having been
spread in front of the hall, chessmen,
men and boys, dressed in opposing red
uud white uniform appropriate to the va
rious pieces, were marched in and toot
their places. Then" bv word of com
mand, each piece moved to the square
indicated, nnd a very lively game en- i
mkv vi,. nrv W the
vieeroy." An emperor of Morocco who
once iiiduleed in n similar amusement is
said to have added a terrible-realism to
the game by causing all the pieces takeu
during its progress to be beheaded.
Chinese Maxims.
It is the rich who want most things.
Towers are measured by their shadow.
nnd great men by those who are envious
of them.
We must do quickly what there is uo
hurry for, to be nble to do slowly what
demands haste.
He who wishes to secure the good of
others, has already secured his own. .
Hie court is like the sea everything
depends upon the wind.
What a pleasure ic is u give ! ihere
wonld be no rich people if they were ca
pable of feeling this.
The ricn raid relations in the most re
mote foreign countries; the poor not
even in the bosom of their own families,
WTho is the greatest liar?
tj i..
iie wno
speaks most of himself.
lien a Bong gives much fame, virtuo
gives very little.
l'or him who does everything in its
proper time, one day is worth tlu-ee.
, The way to glory is through the pal
ace; to fortune through tho market; to
virtue through the dosert.
The truths thnt we least wish to hear
are those which it is most to our advan
tage to kuow.
His Silver Piute.
Cardinal Alberoiu had a large quan
tity of silver phite, and among other ar
ticles Jie possessed various saltcellars,
wrought in the form of different animals.
A friend of . his emiuence borrowed a
saltcellar made iu the shape of a tiger,
but forgot to return it lor some time.
At length, after the lapse of some six or
seven months, he sent it back, request
ing at the same time the loan of another
iu the shape of a tortoise. The cardinal
desired to see the person who had
brought the message. " You are Bent,"
sidd he, " by the signor to borrow one of
my saltcellers ?" " Yes, your eminence;
I am his steward." " You will be good
euough to tell your master that I lent
him one in the form of a tiger, which is
one of the swiftest animals on the earth,
and it has been more than six months in
returning; were I to lend him the tor
toise, which is the slowest of animals,
fear it would never return,"
The Ways of Hie World.
More than hnlf a century ago, snys
Porte Crayon, two little boy cousins sat
together earnestly Bpeculating ou the ar
rival of a beloved aunt, just from the
South, with a big trunk reported to be
laden with tropical fruits expresBly for
the children! Very eoon their expect
ancy was resolved by the receipt of a
ripe golden orange each. NoW at that
day the orange was so rarely seen by Its
that it was encircled with the glnmour of
romnnce nn exotic so costly thnt when
we ocensionnlly got n pale, h.df wilted
specimen, it wiis carefully peeled nnd di
vided into compnrtments enough to give
every member of the family a taste.
But here each cousin held in Ins hands a
whole globe of fresh aud succulent de
light, to dispose of nnd enjoy according
to his own will. Without pausing a mo
ment to admire the beauty or snuff the
external fragrance of his fruit, the first
hurriedly tore it open, nnd burying his
face in the luscious pulp, squirting the
rich juice from Ins lnur to las neeis,
swnllowed what he managed to get in
about three gulps, threw the skin into
the street, nnd wished he hnd nnother.
The other cousin meanwhile bundled his
golden gift ns if it had been " a gem too
rich for use," tenderly manipulating its
yielding plumpness, voluptuously exhal
ing its refreshing fragrnnce, and when
he could no longer abstain, carefully
opened a pinhole in one end, nnd suck
ing Bnmples of the contents, like a mod
est gnuger, until he had extracted the
nst drop from the precious cask. The
his orange, devouring' estate, body and
soul in three greedy swallows, dying at
twenty-seven, so palled with the flavor of
this life that he scarcely wished lor nn
other. The careful cousin, now past
threescore years, is still sucking his por
tion through a pinhole, still straining for
the last sweet drop, having squeezed his
Court iiiir by Proxy.
Mr. Leopold Stern was a commercial
traveler for the business house of Sutro
& Newmnrk, of New York city, selling
goods for them mainly iu tho West and
Southwest. He received a commission
on his sales, and being an active sales
man, wns enabled to make very good
wages. While on a trip in the South he
received instructions from one of the
partners iu the firm to proceed to New
Orleans nnd there further the partner's
suit for the hand of a very attractive
young woman whom the partner had
previously seen. Tho commercial travel-
! er did his partner's business in so satis-
factory a manner that the young woman
I was subsequently lead to the altar by the
New lork business man, and a happy
married lit'o has followed the union. The
commercial traveler, however, consumed
considerable time, several weeks, in
arranging affairs with tho maiden, so
that she ni'ght not look with disfavor on
the partner, and ou his return ascertained
that he had been emp'oyed in a business
that afforded lum uo commission. Ap
plying for payment for his services, he
was g'ven $uuu. lie count easily nave
made 8'JOO in that time, he averred. The
partners refused to pay inoro than 8500,
and tho man who courted his partner's
wife lor his partner instituted suit for
t he remaining 8100.
Life Insurance.
i The money now'held by the life iusur
! mice companies of this country, says the
I New York Sun, amounts to 8400,000,000.
Yet it would require five times this sum,
I or 82.000,000,000, to pay nil the out-
i Btauding policies should they mature nt
t,ui,e- "u tUe "ther hand, wlale 150,000
I policies ore annually issued m the State
of rsew lork less than iu,uuuare termi -
iiaicu i.y ueuui iuoie . umi i.uuu nqJB
by non-payment of the premiums, and
the vest are gotten rid o try surrender,
by expuy, or by relusal to uccept alter
making application for insurance. A
widespread belief prevails that there is
j fraud in the business somewhere; and
in Indiana the Legislature has appointed
! u committee to prepare nud report ft bill
' for its regulahou, so as to protect the
'. public. The chuirmau of the committee,
1 the Hou. James B. Hendricks, requests
; information and suggestions on the sub
' ject from any one who has anything to
offer. His address is Indianopolis, Ind.
A Ckuel Hoax. A cruel hoax was
recently perpetrated on two members of
the Hebrew community who presented
themselves at tho synagogue in Birming
ham, England, to be married. The cere-
i nony was interrupted by the arrival of a
i... ,; . , . . f .,..
lciritiiii w me IUUU1 lMlUUUJUg HUH IUUI
the bridegroom was already married uud
had two children. The brido was re
moved in a fainting condition, and the
bridegroom was chased through the
streets by a mob, who saluted him with
"a shower of stones nnd mud." Investi
gation has since proved that the telegram
was n forgery, and the wedding will take
place after all.
Astosished. A circus company, on
their wny to Australia, stopped to Bee
one of the Fiji islands. While wander
ing about one of them turned a somer
tault, and the native spectators were
nstonished by the bight. Thereafter,
the circus men, discerning the opportu
nity for fun, varied their walks by fre
queut somersaults and grotesque contor
tions, all the time maintaining sober
faces and the utmost gravity of demean
or. Multitudes followed them, in the
belief they were missionaries, sent to
teach a roligiou in which somersaults
were a part of the service.
A Fortune Obphaned. Dr. Ayer,
who makes pills, is hopelessly insane,
says an exchange, and $2,000,000 is us
good as orphaned. . This is liot enough,
odds another paper. His fortune is
much greater. His income is $2,000 a
day, and we suppose there has never been
a time iu the last dozen years' when he
has had less than $500,000 lying idle aud
1 awaiting investment.
Items of Interest,
One of the most popular platform
speakers is tho car driver who tells
his mule to hurry up.
New York mourns the ilenth of an ac
countant who overhauled dishonest books
and sent fourteen different clerks to
prison. '
As an example of Vnnderbilt's econo
my ia little things, recalloa tl.at a
few years ago he caused the bright plate
on all Lis locomotives to be painted black
in order to Bare burnishing. ,
Sealskin sacks for poodles are coining
into fashion. A lady carrying a cauino
pet thus nttired called to comfort ft poor
woman who had lost two children by
starvation. The sack was cut pompa
dour. A poet advises: "In the quarries
should you toil, make your mark ; do you
i tnal.-n vonr mark.
But instead of taking his advice, you find
better tnke lessons in peniufiriMiip nnd
lcnrn to write your name. It looks bet
ter than to make your "mark."
In Fulton county, Pa., a few days
since, a youth named John H. Tnttle was
nbout throwing a bnll, having his right
arm drawn bnck, when it suddenly snnp
ped off midwny between the elbow and
the shoulder and dropped to his side.
The snnpping of the bone was heard for
a considerable distance.
Smoke from the leaves of belladonna is
said to give great and often immediate
relief in asthma, especially the spasmod
ic form. The smoke should be drawn
down deep into the chest. Tobacco
smokers do not experience as much re
lief as others. If the belladonna leaves
are used too freely, a temporary heudftche
may bo produced.
It is noticeable that the cat who mounts
the ridgepole of the woodhouse and sits
apnrt at the conceit, and is wrapped in
the thoughtful abstracted silence until
the programme is about half through,
opens out, when he doeB come in, with a
wail that curdles the blood in a frozen
beet, and rouses all the other members
of the troupe to ft very agony of frenzied
emulation.
Near Epiual, France, three young
sters bought two quart bottles of brandy
at the fair, and drank the whole between
them within nn hour, when they becnnie
insensible. The youngest, aged thir
teen, died on being taken home; an
other, aged sixteen, expired a few houry
later. The third, nged seventeen, rc
covered, nud attended the funeral of his
two comrades.
It is said that atmospheric changes
have a special influence on the rising of
cream. Milk seems to know which way
the wind is, and when it is north or
northwest the cream rises freely. The
next best condition of the atmosphere is
wheu the wind is west ; the third best
condition is when the wind is east ; the
fourth, when it is south ; and the worst
of all, wheu the wind is southeast.
It is snid thnt oysters have not been so
scarce in New York markets for twenty
years as since the middle of, last Decem
ber. This is due to the fact that tho
season has been an unusually inclement
one along tho coast, cnusing tho forma
tion of ice on the rivers where the oysters
nre usually obtained. The- demand for
oysters, however, has been less thnn
usual, iu consequence of the " hard
j times,
The private life of Commodore Van-
derbilt was simple nnd unostentatious.
In little mutters as well as in large ones
he was very methodical. It is said thnt
his favorite breakfast was the yolks only
of three soft boiled eggs, ft cup of black
tea, with twelve lumps of sugar in it, a
little toast, and a lamb chop. He always
nte this alone in his room, but the other
meals were taken with the family.
This is a Boston advertisement of
1808 : " Much wanted A neat, well
behaved female, to do kitchen work in a
small family at Ckorlestown, near Boston.
Khe mav nrav and Bincr hvmns. but not
i over the fish kettle; may 'go to meeting,
i , . i i -i: ! 1. .1' r
, bn(. not believe in tiie divinity 0f
; EU(W gmith nor belonR to tll0 wililung
. COUKregation of midnight worshipers,
I In nt the jcjHr(orv 0fiice, near
! i0i.ou
Boston.'
A Boston woman believes that she
would die ut once if she failed to kiss a
cross at exactly twelve o'clock every
night. So precise is she as to the time
that she lias a costly clock in her room,
regulated every doy by a skilled work
man, and servants nwnken her five min
utes before midnight. At the instnnt
the clock indicates twelve she kisses the
cross and is thus assured, she thinks, of
living another day.
The remains of a balloon were lately
found on the coast of Ireland, the car of
which contained hum u remains. The
Debuts thinks that they must be those of
Prince, a sailor, who quitted Paris one
dark night during the siege, in a violent
wiud, and was never afterward heard of.
What Btrength"eii8 this conjecture is that
about the same time some Scotch fisher
men saw something balloon-shaped dis
appear iu the ocean toward the northwest
coast.
A traveler packed himself and a great
quantity of baggage into a stage in Oro
ville, Cal. The vehicle was so loaded
that he had barely room to squeeze him
self in; but he lit his pipe, and prepared
to endure the hardship of a journey un
der such circumstances. The straw
under his feet caught fire from the
pipe, and instantly the stage was in
flames. He got out with difficulty, the
baggage hindering him, and was fatally
burned.
A Country Editor's Appeal.
From fk .V JTra, Cktttr, Cton.
Delinquent enbuorilicr i behold before vou
the editor of thirf
paper ; he stands
with his watch
word pinned to
hU manly hreant,
pleading for bin
due v.liich you
your neglect, he
baa been rednced
to the wreck yon
see before you.
Can you look at
that tear ntah ltd,
eare worn, woea
tegone virtnge "
that dilapidated
hat aud thread
bare suit, and re
tire to your lux
' nrioua couch to
rest, with your
newspaper hilt
unpaid?
are bo' linjuiitlyH
nuuuuiuiug.
But a few bliort
months ago be
was a guy and
festive lad, chot-k
full of tup aud
a trtr
energy (more
I particular! v ap1,
1 hut, through