it
tfllll
HENRY A. PAtfSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
NIL DESPEIIANDUM.
Two Dollars per Annum.
NO. 31.
VOL. VI.
HIDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 1870.
Naming the hlckens.
There were two little chickens batched oat hj
one hen
And tlie owner of both ws our little boy Ben;
So he net hltn to work as eoon at they came,
To make tliuin a houne and find them a name.
As for bniliiirg a bonne, Henry knew very
well
That be couldn't do that ; but his big brother
Phil
Muet be bandy at tool, for ho'd been to col
lege Wlioro boys are euppojed to learn all sorts of
knowledge.
riiil was very good nstnred, and soon bis small
brother
Had a nice cozy Lome for his chicks and their
mother;
And a barker boy in the country just then
Could not crvo boon found than our dear little
Een.
Bat a inm5 for his pets it was harder to
find,
At le v t J.mt as suited exactly bis mind;
No biotLer of twins waB evermore haunted
WMi trouble to find just the ones that she
wanted.
Tliero were plenty of names, no doubt about
that,
But a tamo that would do for a dog or a cat
Wo:Jd not aumver for chickens so pretty as
tl;eii'e;
Or eVe our dear boy was not easy to please.
Tuoho two tiuy chickens looked juut like each
other :
To uamo tbem eo young would be only a
bMhor.
But with rue iu each hand, said queer little
Bon,
"I vai.t t'.ia one a rooster and that One a
Uu."
BeLi.y knew tLora apart by a little brown
spot,
On the. head of the one that the other had
not;
Theygie up liko magic, each fat feathered
chick,
O.ic .t length wan named Peggy and the ether
named Dick.
BEny witched them so closely not a foather
Co lid row
In tl.e riresj of those chickens that he did not
knuw:
And ho talit them so well they would march
t com Ti and.
Fly up on Lii thonld'er, or eat from his hand.
But f iiimy thing happened concerning their
names,
Itnsliuip into tho house cue day, Benny ex
claim': "0!i! unfier! Oh! Phil! such a blunder
there's tern, ,
Tor ' the rooster and D'ck id the Inn !
A WOMAN'S WHIM.
Santa Cruz, California, is called the
Ljiig Br.ti.cu of tho Pacific. It is u
pretty place, willi the quaint old town ol
Monterey lying off in the dihtauce. One
lovely ui- -o-ihglit night a party of people
Hat on tin; v-r:.uiLi i one if the princi
pal ho.ei.-. diiciiMsing plans for making
a pie-asm trip the next ilay. They bad
coma to th.t saasido iu search of health,
th-y said, and found, love as well, for
ovvry lady, with a single exception, had
a guntleman by her side.
The lady who sat alono was the hand
somest as well as the haughtiest of the
group, and appeared to be vexed.
" I will not cousont to it," she said, in
an irritated tone. "Just because you
know I dislike the man, you all seem
determined, to force his society upon
ino."
'But, Miss Winstauly," said Mr.
Bidclifl'n, " there is no other gentleman
who can be your cavalier."
"I see that," she interrupted, with a
sneer, " but don't distress yourself about
)ue. There's no necessity for my going,
so I shall remain at the hotel."
" No, no," arose from the lips of
eighteen, people.
" We won't go without you," said
Miss Stevens. " Do be amiable for this
once. it s our last party, and don t
break it up."
' Grandfather" Sanderson next took
the word; he was called grandfather be
came, although but twenty-six years
old, a fewgray hairs already appeared in
his raven locks.
' I can't see for the life of me," he
said, " why you should object so slroug-
1 v tn Ortorire Blake. TTo a frank, tin.
right and open handed."
" Also smells of the sawdust," re
plied Miss Winstanly, with a most pro
voking curl of the lip.
Exclimations of reprobation from
every one, for the gentleman under dis
cission was a universal favorite.
" Come now, Knte,"said Emily Lytle,
" that's ungenerous. I've understood
that ho was born a in that class of
lite and of course cannot be blamed, as
be availed himself of the first favorable
opportunity to leave it. He merits re
spect and not contempt."
There was such a murmur of approba
tion at this little speech, that even the
proud and fastidious Kate felt t-oniewhat
ashamed and hung her head.
"The only amends you can make for
being so hard on him is to consent to be
Lis partner for the day."
" No ; no. Apart from his former
disgraceful life, I detost the man," ro
plied Kate.
' Then," said Sanderson, " you must
be punished for showing Mich bad taste.
rr.tn i. . - i i
we ii iiuvu a i-uuw ui jjuuum. atiruuuu,
Jadies and gentlemen. All those in
favor of Miss Winstauly being escorted
by Mr. Blake to-morrow will please raise
their hauds."
Every soul did so with the exemption
of Kate herself, who rose instantly and
hurried away, blushing with confusion
and auger.
"She's dead in love with him," lisped
little Nannie Peters.
" And so is he with her, and would
be at her feet iu a moment if she didn't
treat him 60 outrageously," remarked a
young fellow who not yet spoken.
Quoth Emily Lytle : "He'd as good
as she is, every bit, if he onee did turn
somersaults iu a circus for a. living.
Everybody knows that Mr. Winstauly
made his money by " A loud buzz in
terrupted her revelation.
' Sanderson loquitur : One of the
first rules of our society, Miss Lytle, u
no slander allowed. You are on the
point of breaking it."
"I'm sure it's no slander, but the
truth," pouted Emily. " There are
plenty of frills as handsome as she is
that he might have for the asking."
Chorus of ladies : " Plenty plenty
shonli of them."
It was pretty Lolia Dim 13 turn to
spoak.
"It Beems to me that in a small,
nineteenth century sort of way, this is
ouiti; a Benedict and Beatrice case. Two
people affect to hate each other, and yet
are longing to rush into each other's
firms, aud here are we ull, friends of
both parties, continually plotting and
planning to throw them together. I
wouldn't bo surprised any time to hear
him say : ' Against my will, I'm sent to
bill you come to supper.' "
Eudcliffo rejoined: "According to
the rules which wo tweuty men aud
women undertook to observe when we
all met here for mutual amusement, she
mu-t ride with him to morrow ; but how
are we to get him to believe she has
consented willingly?"
' Tlint's easy enough," replied Grand
father S.it-dcrson. " I'll hatch up some
thing for the occasion ; but don't any of
the rest of you say a word for he's so
sensitive that lie half suspects why sho
treats him so uppishly, and the first
word would make him fly the track."
"II shl" said every one. Iu the
adjoining parlor Kate had struck the
first chords of a popular song, and as
her rich voice rolled cut on the balmy
air, the ex-athlete strolled up to the
merry party on the piazza, anil like them
listened spell-bound to the tones he
loved so well.
The song ceased, and after a moment'
pause she began a duet, expecting, no
doubt, that Sam Williams, who usually
sung with her, would take it up ont-ide.
Instead of which he nudged Blake, who
immediately, as if irresistibly, begun in
a round, rich voice, the like of which tho
disdainful maid h id never heard before,
but supposed it was Sauderson, or one
of the reft. How exquisitely their
voice blended ; only hers was untrained,
while his had all tho culture of an opera
singer. Indeed, many of his hearers
wondered if ever ho had been a profes
sional singer as well as athlete, and
thought what a loss to tho public was
such a voice.
Every one enjoyed the singing, and
was especially amused at the thought
that Kate wasuueonsciously pouring out
hiu.- whole heart in united melody with
the man she prolesscd to despise.
Did she ? Of all that group of young
men, California's finest, freshest sons,
George Blake was beyond cavil the
AJe.nis. Although in reality thirty-two
years of aye, his exceedingly fair Com
dex on and light brown Lair made him
look yeura younger. There was not a
iino on tho broad, white forehead, nor
t crow foot arouiift the limpid violet
vns. "Where did such a low fellow
jut such heavenly eyes'" Kate asked
herself the nest morning, as she drow
.m her tilling gloves.
Ho was over six fe't tall, and might
liitve been just a trifle heavy for tho
.iag, but fur everything else his pro
portions vera splendid. All that the
;rouJ beauty and belle. Miss Wiustan
y, urged against him was trne, except
hat ho was "low." Nature mado him
'i gentleman, though of low birth and
:ion fortune. Ten yarn prior to tho
pening of this story Blake had come to
ilifornia with a circus troupe; he was
rfigncr Francesco Sollterino, tho "strong
miii) " of the company. Ho vaulted
with the rest, but his specialty was firing
a c.iniion olF his breast, lifting a dozen
meu at once, and other immense weights.
He was of an old circus family, and
j'ever thought to leave " the profes
sion," but having some money when he
reached the Pacific slope, he was seized
with the luauia for dabbling in stocks,
and to his joy end surprise, by one of those
sudden rises in stocks possible only to
Caliiornia, ho made almost a fortune
without as much trouble as turning a
handspring would have given him. This
lui ky fctruke determined hira to retire
from the sawdust, and he soon devel-
;ied a business talent which, Jn a few
years, made Irra a prominent and influ
ential man in Frisco, while his character
as a man, and his exceedingly polished
maimers, won him the respect of every
body except the wayward beauty on
whom he had set his heart. It remained
lor her to drag up and tauut him with
the old trade, never alluded to by any
body now, except as a bit of personal
history, aud never to his discredit.
When, the morning after tho conver
sation on th balcony, tho party of
twenty assemble J, sunrise was tinging
the red woods and the wild flowers.
Thoy were soon iu the saddle. As
Kte glanced disdainfully at her com
panion, her heart fairly ached as she
thought that ho was too handsome for a
man, and if he had been anything but a
low circus creature, even a respectable
hod carrier but she would die beforo
she would marry such a fellow.
And he thought, she looks more like a
goddess than a mere woman. I would
lay my body down under her foot, and
let her crush my life out, if she would
but smile on me.
She had on previous occasions snub
bed him so terribly, that they rode a
long time iu silence before ho ventured
to begiu a conversation with her; but
when they reached the crest of the hills
overlooking Santa Cruz, and he glanced
across the bay, and saw the fleecy, sun
tinted clouds hovering over the Monte
rey range, an exclamation of delight es
caped him, and he said with enthusiasm:
" Look, look, Misa Winstanly I is
not that a picture painted by God's own
hand?"
" Oh, yes," she replied, in an ungra
cious and contemptuous tone; " but I
never gush it is not ' good form.' "
The insolence of the spoiled beauty
stung him to the very heart's core, and
the pangs of despised love and sudden
anger caused him to forget himself, and
he retorted with restrained passion :
" Miss Winstanly, be pleased to re
member that if I have by my presence
again placed it in your power to insult
me, it was at your request."
They had trotted along until they
reached the beautiful stream in other
countries it would be called a river
which heads at the Big Trees and flows
down the canyon to the sea. The preci
pice was sheer and bteep.
"Insult you 1 how, sir? how can I
insult you ?" iuquired the provoking
girl, her aDger rising at the eight of his.
" By presuming to dictate to me what
good form ' is. But for my former life,
you would hot dare do it."
" Dare, indeed I" she echoed, the red
blood dyeing her cheeks, " how dare
yon cny I requested your presence ?"
It was a lovers' quarrel and a hot
one. In her excitement she dragged so
at the r Iiu that her horse reared.
Blake instantly seized the bridle,
shoului and pulling the beast toward
him: " Let go I let go I"
Iu rearing, her horse had turned so
that she did not see the danger iu which
she stood. She was on the canyon's
precipitous briuk, and below ran the
river. "Let go, you." she answered,
cutting him across the hands; " how
dare you touch my lines ? You have
lured me to leave the rest of the party
bohiud, in order that you might get me
alone in your power, but lam not afraid
of you, take that I" and in her fury phe
struck him again. Between tho two
the restive animal was half maddened,
for B'ako was dragging him forward and
Kate backward, so that ho was plunging
aud rearing. Blake was white with fear.
Ho did not heed or seem to feel her
blows, only to. Fee her danger, for, in
spito of his herculean btrenth, tho horso
was baeking, backing nearer raid nearer
the precipice. Another moment ami she
would be thrown over tho yawning
chasm. He sprung from his bore,
seized both reins with the left hand, and
with the right tore the btirrip from the
saddle.
"Impertinent clown!" the shrieked,
but he paid no heed to her screams; her
foot free, he instantly let go the reins,
grasped her around tho waist, and with
almost superhuman strength lifted her
from the maddened boast aud lluug her
into tho road behind. He was not one
moment too soon, for, as ho did so, the
horse backed over the clilf anil disap
peared. When the rest of the party came wal
loping up, alnrincd by the screafns, they
found the retired athlete in a dead faint
on the edge, of the canyon, aud Miss
Winstanly in liko plight lying some
distauce from him, but not withiu sev
eral feet of tho fiigiitinl precipice. Tho
young lady was soon ref-tored ciiel
proved to be unhurt ; not ho Mr. Blake.
The horse had trampled on his foot and
tho pain had caused him to lose con
sciousness. Being only a few inile
from Santa Cruz aid was soon proanred,
anil ho was carried Lack to the hotel a
very s cl: aud badly bruised man.
Now tho willful and biVh tempered
Miss Wiustanly really loved Mr. Blake,
but her pride had kept her from showing
it or liren o .ruing it to horse! f. Wheu
sho n iilizcd tho true cause of his grab
bing the lines had been to tave her from
certain death, her heart was rilled with
conflictinp; emotions thankfulness for
her life, gratitude to him for preserving
it, aud shame niiel remorso at her un
womanly iusok-uco and rage. She had
actually beaten him as ho was trying to
drag her away from the chasm. ' In her
agony and penitence she opened her
heart to Emily Lytle, and confessed that
she had loveet Blake all along, but now
that ho had saved her life her passion
overflowed all barriers and sho wanted
to tell him so. Nearly all of tKe guy
parly left Sauta Cruz a fortnight alter
George's accident, but ItadcHrfe, his
boFotn friend, remained to nurse hint,
ami Miss Lytle staid to keep her betroth
ed company.
Blake's fo"t was erttsheel and it would
be a long tinjo beforo ho could bo re
moved to San Fiauciseo.
Kate resolved that i-he would not leave
until sho had an opportunity of asking
George's forgiveness. At last, reports
were brought to her that ho was improv
ing, was able to talk and at length to sit
in un arm-chair, but ho never alluded to
the accident, nor mentioned Mi3s Win
stanly 's name.
Day after day she plied Emily with
questions, antl a fierce despair seized her
when the comprehended that she had
lost him and through her own pride.
That was all swept away by her new
born love and humility. She" was so ab
ject in her remorso and sorrow, that to
obtain a smile from tho despif-ed "clown"
as she had o died him, f ho would gladly
have turned circus rider herrelf.
Ono diiy she crept to his tloor. It was
closed against her, but she could hear
Emily's voice and Iiadcliffo'd talking
with Bif.ke. She alone was shut out
from paradise, but she had deserved
and nrirt bear it. In a fit of silent tears
sho sunk down on her knees and offered
up a prayer that fcho might yet obtain
his forgiveness ; suddenly " the door
opened and Emily came out, shutting it
quickly after her when she saw tho
crouching girl. "Why! what's this?"
sho inquired, astonished. "What do
you m an, Kate, by crouching around
on all fours liko this ?"
" Ob, Emily," sobbed the wretched
beauty, " I am perfectly miserable 1 I
must, I will go iu and see him ! It was
all my fault ! Do you think he will ever
forgive met"
"I don't know, I'm sure," said Emily,
dryly; " I wouldn't in his place. I'd bo
revenged; but you can go iu and see."
Kate sprung up overjoyed. Emily
grasped her arm, saying : "But rniud
you don t taunt hira about his past any
more. He's proveel himself a gentle
man, and above) all remember it was
only because he was an athleto that he
was able to hold your horse until he
ooulcl wrench you from the saddle and
toss you out of danger. No other than
a strong man could have saveil your
life. So go in and humble yourself to
him." She opened the door and called
Iiadeliffe out. They strolled off to
gether, while Kate glided into the room
and rlung herself at the feet of the ex
athlete. He took his revenge, for when ho got
well he married her. Illustrated
Weekly.
Her Namb. Wheu Mrs. Van Auken
installed a Chinamau in her kitchen, she
asked: "What is your name, hir?'1
" Oh 1 my namee Ah Sin Foo." " But
I can't remember all that lingo, my
man. I'll call you Jimmy." "Vehy
weUo. Now, whachee namee I callee
you?" asked Ah Sin, looking up in
sweet simplicity. Well, my name iii
Mrs. Van Auken; call me that." " Oh I
me ran no 'member Missee Yaune
Aukeu. Too big piecee namee. I caJlee
you Tommy Misaee Tommy."
Anecdote of Jerome Bonaparte.
Ho was ono day, ho said, absolutely in
want of twenty-five louts, his purse be
ing empty, although General Murat,
governor of Paris, and who was vety
fond of him, often a-'sisted him with his;
but this time the better resource failed
him; and the quart'r's allowanoe which
ho received from th consul bad been
spent in advance. What was ho to do ?
To whom address himself ? to his other
brothers? they wore absent. Joseph
and Louis commanded regiments at a
distauce; Lucien was on au embassy to
Lisbon or Madrid.
As to his mother, sho conld not see
any reason for giving money to a young
scapegrace like him, whom she loved
tenderly, but whose morals she was more
nDTioua for thau his prodigality. What
could he think of? It came into his
head to pay a visit to a holy man, his
undo Fesch (become a cardinal). Ho
presents himself, and is well received by
this worthy relation, at whoso house a
tauuii rous parly is aspcmhk-d. Hs is
invited to di mcr; after dinner they
passeel into the saloon to take coffee.
At this moment Jerome watches tho
cardinal enteriug another room; ho fol
lows him thither, draws into a corner
this der uncle, whom he bad already so
often wheedled out of money, antl re-quc-sts
the fiuuo favor again; but tho
other is immovable, anel refuses flatly,
Cardinal Fesch, it was well known, was
always a lover of pictures; now tho
room iu which they were formed tho
commencement of his fine gallery,
which has become so re markablo for its
eollectiou of the masterpieces of all
scliools.
When Jerome heard this positive re
fusal, ho turned abruptly round.
" See," said he, " there is a rascal who
i eems to bo laughing at the alfront I
have received. I will be revenged."
At tho same tiruo ho draws his saber and
directs tho point against tho face of a
fine old man (painted by Van Dyek),
v.-lios3 even he threatened to cut-out.
It may be imagined what a fright the
cardinal was iu at f eeiug him ready to
transpierce a masterpiece. He attempts
to stay his arm; but the young man
will not hear reason till tho twenty-five
Imiis have been promised him. Tho un
cle capitulates, peace is made, aud they
emVrace.
About Oysters.
Tho annually increasing scarcity of
English oysters has caused, iu Lite
yearn, tho s-priugiug up of a largo ex
port. buine:,3 in tho Now York tra.'e,
and this now extends its supply of great
quantities to France and Germany, as
v-ll as Albion. The people of the con
tinent socii tj appreciate the superi
ority of tho American oyster much
luci-o ivaelily than do tho Hcglinh, who
jaine generally that nothing is so fine
as tlio small, copper flavored things
which they call English oys'eM. But
tho Briton's eccentricity of tar-te is, at
least, not greater than that of thoso who
delight iu tho little Ostoud oysters,
even when they ato what, in mutton,
woukl bo called "high." A great ileal
of "seed" is shipped from New York
to California for replanting near San
Francisco. Curionsiv enough, the na
tive California oysters aro very small
eaivx'ly larger than a silver quarter of
a dollar; but tho Eastern oysters, trans
planted into the water where these
ridiculously small things grow, increase
in size and plurupneps much more
rapidly than they would East. It is said,
however, that they elo not spawn there,
and live, only thr. e yeais. The " seed "
for them costs from twenty five to forty
cents per bushel, and is transported in
refrigerator cars across tho continent.
Much of it goes from York bay,
producing a hardy, dark raeatr-d oyster
of uiodeiately good flavor; but tho best
is obtained from the East river beds.
Old oysteruiou say that there aro now
at least five times as many oysters eaten
annually ia New York aa there were
twonty jearu ago, and the supply is in
creasing more) rapidly than therderoand,
oiug to tho intelligent enro applied to
tho eultivatio :. Several millions of dol
lurs are invested in tho bnsine.-s, almost
exclusively for the benefit of New York,
aud over forty thousand persons are di
rectly concerned iu it. Tho oyster can
ning buMuoss is almost monopolized by
B.ntimoie.
Caustic AmniOiiia In Rheumatism.
Judging from his article iu a recent
German periodical, tho Clinic thinks
th .t Dr. Franz Zeller is au enthusiast in
tho administration of caustic ammonia
iu rheumatism. For se-veral years he
h:d Ivoti n sufferer from severe muscu
lar lhi-umntisiu iu the right shoulder;
he bad tihen ail tho auti-rneumatio
remedies, with but Mtio alleviation,
wheu he began to reason that iu rheu
matism as iu gout there may bo a uric
acid diathesis. Ho thought that liquor
ammonia, on account f f its rapid vola
tilizilion, would b.i the remedy most
readily absorbed anel the most prompt in
action. In almost tho same moment in
which ho tock ono drop, diluted with
water, ho felt a complete relief from tho
pain, which had lasted for ten hours,and
ho was now able to move freely the arm
wbieh au instant before he could scarce
ly bear to have touched. The remedy,
he clajms, has proved a positive cure in
ell recent cases of muscular iheumutism
which have fallen under his observa
tion. He cites numerous cases iu which
relief, as instantaneous as his own, was
experienced. Ha also observed its effects
in fceveral cases of acute articular rheu
uiathni, in two of which six drops suf
flceel to subdue the paiu aud swelling
withiu a period of twenty-four hours.
I none case of chronic rheumatism of a
finger joint, which had lasted for over
half a year, the simple administration of
tho ammonia completely dispelled the
inflammation and pain iu the joint with
in two days. Dr. Zeller believes the
effect due to the ammonia actiug as a
nervine directly upon the nerves.
A 8asaious CoiiLECTOK. Horace
Greeley used to tell this story : He
onco bent u claim for collection to a
Western lawyer, oiul regarding it as
rather a desperate eluim, told tho attor
ne - if he collected it he might reserve
half tho amount for his fee. Iu due time
Mr. Grcele.y received the following la
c juio epistle : "Dear Sir 1 have suc
ceeded iu collecting my half of that
laim. The balance is hopeless."
Coal Dust as Fuel.
The use of dust and pea coal has bepn
thoroughly tried at the Ocean mills',
Newbury port, Mass., for the past year
and a half, with the following result :
For years they have kept an actual ac
count with scales of every barrow of
coal wheeled into the flreroom, and the
average weekly consumption shows forty
tons of broken coal on 18,000 pounds of
cloth, average costing $7 per ton, or
S280 per week, which makes the cost of
fuel por pound of cloth over one and a
half cents ; under the present arrange
ment, tho weekly consumption is only
thirty-six tons of pea and dnst on 20,000
pounds of cloth, costing $.3.50 per ton,
or $126 per week, which makes tho cost
of fuel por pound of cloth less than six
mills, showing a saving of nearly one
cent per pound. 'J his mill is run en
tirely by steam, and the cost of ono and
a half cents per pound in burning largo
coal does not vary from the cost of other
mills in the same vicinity. Beyond tho
saving of fuel, the fire is much easier on
the boilers, brickwork, and fronts of
furnaces, no repairs having been made
on any of the above since the arrange
ment was put in ; and tho gates are as
perfect as new. This one item almost
pays the expenses of tho arrangement.
The labor is not near as hard on tho fire
men, aud tho engineer has the steam
under entire control. Again, if steam
is drawn down rapidly, as in dyeworks,
it cm bo drawn up again iu a quarter of
the time.
The want of market for dust, hereto
fore, has caused its being dumped off on
to the dirt piles at the mines at a much
greater cost than if loadeel into cars ;
and tho accumulation at the shipping
ports has been of such inconvenience
that thousands upon thousauds of tons
have been dumped under the docks to
sret rid of it. Much of tho pea coal has
bneu thrown, also, upon the dirt piles,
ail of which will now bo carefnlly saved,
and shipped to market, the present ar
rangement developing more steam from
one ton thau wo got from tho same
quantity of any larger tized coal.
What Indiana Mill Do.
Tho New York Herald, iu a lengthy
editorial, d vlarcs that the Presidential
contest will be governed in no slight
degree by tho election in Indiana in Oc
tober, it adds, to strengthen its state
ments: When Napoleon Bonaparte,
then a thin, yellow visnged youth, was
sent to Tonlem to assist in the siege, the
young artillery officer perceived, with
the quick intuition of genius, that the
whole plun of operations was a blunder,
anel thut instead of direct assaults on the
town the fortn should be taken on the
high ground which commanded the har
bor, which would compel tho Euglish to
withdraw their fleet and render the city
untenable. . Being admitted to a council
of war he urged this view, and pointing
on a map to tho Hauteur de Grasse, on
which Fort Eguilletto was situated, the
impulsive youth exclaimed: "There is
Toulon !" A stupiel eld general who
could not see tho meiit3 of the plan
whispered to tho officer at his elbow,
" Tho young man does not seem veiry
strong in Iris geography," supposing
that Bonaparte hail misconceived the lo
cation of tho town in his lively way of
pointing out the position which would
make it untenable. In the present siege
of the White House the October election
iu Indiana is the Feirt Egnillette. Wo
suppose there is no politician on either
siilo who is eo stupid thut ha doea not
perceive this, or who would fancy that
it is either a geographical or a chrono
logical blunder to say that tuo Presiden
tial election is likely to bo decided iu
tho State of Indiana on the second
Tuesday iu October.
Tho Indiana State election will accord
ingly, tho Herald adds, be tho central
point of interest uutil its result is
known. Both parties aro exerting them
selves there with the energy of despera
tion. Onl radcUrr.
We find an amusing squib iu a Paris
journal which is not a bad commentary
ou the contradictory reports from tho
seat of war in the East. Two gentle
men are seated in tho Cafo Anglais, Paris,
i ujoyiug their coffee and cigars, and
reading the morning papers.
"Certainly, sir, it's tho Turks who
are victorious," savs one to the other.
"Oh, no; it's ftie Servians," is the
reply.
" I assure you, sir, you are mistakeu ;
there, just cast your eye over my paper."
"It's tho Servians, sir ; just look over
mine."
Tho gentlemen exchanged journals,
and after attentively perusing the dis
patches from the seat of war, tho dia
logue is resumed :
" You are right, sir ; it is the Servians
who have triumphed."
" Dear me 1 no sir ; on the contrary,
it's the Turks."
An Odd Genius.
Ad odd genius, in the shape of a rich
German, arrived in Chicago from Ger
many. He had about him 30,000 in
bouds, and about $300 for traveling ex
penses. His baggage consisted of an
immense oaken door, two bushels of
beech nuts, and two or three big oak
chests. He said he was going to San
Francisco, where he intended to build a
house to fit the door he had, and which
was boreel through and through with
worm holes. He had what a Chicago
paper, with singular frankness, calls the
"good luck to fall into honest hands."
By this time he is probably afar off, un
conscious of the great risk he ran iu
touching at the Phoenix City.
Shot br a Hen.
Fancy a mau shot by a hen ! Yet such
an accident occurred near Cobb am,
England, the residence of Mr, Leith.
The farm bailiff, Mr. Heal, laid a loaded
gun on tho top ot a bin in the stable,
and to his great surprise he heard it
some time afterward go off. Tho pun
was fired by a fowl which got on the
trigger, aud the contents entered the
fce- of an aged man named Collin, who
was in the stable at the time. The suf
ferer was attended by Dr. Webb, who
was obliged to remove one of his eyes.
The poor old man Lad been employed
on tho estate for upward of thirty yeais.
The Cane of Hosier.
Wo callel attention the other day,
says the N w York Tribune, to a scene
which lately took place iu Dayton, Ohio,
at a hanging. Quite as remarkable a
one recurred in Philadelphia at a fu
neral, and one equally suggestive of pe
culiarities in our present condition of
civilization. A young man was to be
buried, agod twenty, tho son of poor
aud obscure people. " The streets about
the house, " we are told, ' were blocked for
hours by waiting multitudes, eager for
a glimpse of the corpse. A large police
force, by well devised arrangements,
were able to gratify them. Lines were
formed, aud many thousands were en
abled to pass through the house and to
view tho body." The crush became so
tremendous at lust, however, thut only
a favored f w societies wero permitted
to look at the dead hero. For a looker
on would have decided that the dead
man must have been a hero, and that of
no nuau rank. Wbnt great deed or
noble service to humanity had ho done
that this mass of people (should havo
been so moved, aud that thenewspapers
tho next day should contain a minute
acjonnt of the funeral ceremonies i Tho
boy was a prize fighter, and his claim to
notice the fact that ho had been pnm
meled to death. Tho curious multitudo
could see tho "blackened, bloated face,"
surrounded by wreaths and crosses of
immortelles, and tho "hands stripped
e.f fk-sh," holding an inscription which
testified that the dead lad was now
" safe in the arms of Jesus; safe on His
gentle breast."
After all there is nothing iu the hor
riblo comedy to wonder it. Tho crowd
which surrounded Koster's dead body
was a crowd which would form itself to
cheer a great deed or jeer at a hanging.
It was tho great uureafouing majority
which runs hither and thither ou the
streets for the excitement which other
mon find in the theater, iu social life, or
iu whisky the multitude that eighteen
cenlnries ago fctrewed palm branches in
tho Master's way and mocked hira on
tho cross. We havo no fault to find
v.ith tho crowd any more thau with any
other brainless creature winch cm bo
whirled hero or there to its own unjo
irf. How it hos been whistled in ihi-i
cii.se, and i v whom, it is not imxa to
eNeover. The full particulars of thia
Weedoa anel Koster tight, aud of every
other combat of .qual magnitude, wero
repo-ted in detail in newspapers which
profess to guide public opinion. The
dead lad's father, wheu put upon ti;o
stand, sworo that his s;ou " was a good
boy; neither drank, gambled, nor had
auy other bad vices; but that ha bad
been iiiteigled into fighting last fall,
and after he was beaten was so laughed
ru in the papers that ho said he mnfit
tight again. Ho camo to kiss his mother
good-bye before going out to meet
Wcedon; he said he must elo it, not for
inonfy, but satisfaction.".
Indian Ituiiner.
A correspondent in the Sioux country
wiites: This system of Indian rnuneis
Se-eras to be little understood. If im
portant news is to bo carried an Indian
gorges himself with meat, takes a short
nap, mounts one of the fleetoet of their
pouios, and rushes along liko the wind
until his horso requires feed, when he
nods a few times while his horso satisfies
it i hunger from the luxurious meadows,
when the ride is renewed. The runner
needn nothing for his pony and takes
nothing for himself but his arrow) cud
blankets, and will in the manner jne'ii-C-ted
ride two or three dajs antl nights,
passing over from sixty to ono huiulrcd
miles iu each twenty-fonr hours. When
tho nearest camp i reached hi3 story is
t.tkeu up by oilier Indians, aud in liko
manner carried iu every elirectiou. The
speed with which the news travels tlo
peuds upon its importance, but iu this
way tho Indians often beat the tele
graph, aud their first reports, if they
eoino direct, ara usually to bo relied
upon. Tho runner who briugs great
news is feasted from ono topee to au-
other, aud it is not. until tho story be
gins to grow old that ho lets loose his
imagination and adds to tho original iu
oieler to keep up tho interest in him as
tiia bearer of great news. There aro al
ways volunteers, and frecjuontly two or
three will tit irt lor the eaoao peiiut, but
tho one that gets in lait i"i bound to tell
tho biggest story, if he has to deny tho
statements of his rivals or cut his story
out of the whole cloth iu order to do so.
Hence tho conflicting reports.
Family Fire Escape.
An Euglish inventor has pateuted a
contrivance for escaping from the upper
stories of a building whilo tho lower
portion ia wrapped iu flames. The ma
chine is a flexible canvas shoot, strongly
fixed to au iron rim, whuih forms its
mouth, and is so adjusted as to admit
of ready access to the bag. A strong
iron btanchiou, adjusted to the rim, ad
mits of its being fixed to a window; the
shoot is theu allowed to gently drop,
and in seized by some one outside. Tho
person descending has merely to btretoh
knees aud elbows out, by which means
the rapidity of transit cau be regulated,
and iu a fow 6econds he is deposited
safe-ly on the ground. Ia case excess of
nervousness thould prevent any one
from following the inventor's directions,
a too rapid descent cau be prevented by
the person at tho bottom of tho shoot
twisting it for some distance, and gradu
ally unfolding the twist as tha occupant
descends.
Tho Danger of Lampblack.
Within two years there have been
three shoeshops lost iu Massachusetts
from lampblack. A hand damp with
perspiration, a drop of water, a bit of
grease, or a sprinkle of oil will create
the composition that will start lampblack
pglow like charcoal. Iu lampblack fac
tories, while precaution is taken to pre
vent fires, a rainy day or a sharp frosty
day will start a dampness upon the in
side of a window pane, and the flyiug
particles of dust lighting upon this
create the spark, which, communicating
to this pile, sends a glow of fire with
wonderful rapidity through the galleries
of the shop. In cleaning np the smoke
galleries, if the men let a drop of per
f p'ration fall into a pile they instantly
scoop up the black in and about where
I it lodges, and take it out of the bouse,
Municipal Taxation.
Daniel L. Harris of Springfield con
tributed a paper, on " Municipal Ex
travagance, to the Social Science Con
vention. Mr. Harris has brought a
great variety of facts to the illustration
of his subject, taken from the experience
of tbo most prominent cities in Massa
chusetts, These facts and figures he
has arranged in tables which are a valu
able contribution to the subject of muni
cipal reform. Some of the striking facts
disclosed by theso tables are that at the
outbreak of the war in 18C1 the actual
cost of munagiBg the municipal ooncerns
of the cities of Massachusetts, except
Boston, and including the payment of
county aud State taxes, averaged onlv
$5.9-1 per capita ; secondly, that iu 18fi5
their expenses hail risen to $11.0, and
that it 1875 they had become no less
than S17.ll per capita. In 1801 tho
combined funded debt of nil the ciiirrs
was an average burden e f $21.62 npou
each inhabitant. In 1875 the same
debt had risen to 88-4-10 apiece upon
the duplicated number of inhabitants ;
or contemplating these obligations in the
aggregate, thev amounted to $11,000,
000, and in 1PV,5 to 870,600,000, the in
crease boin 859,000,010 iu fourteen
years. A ..econd table shows the aggre
gate vo'dation. amount of taxcp, and
amouu', of the funeleel debt of fifteen of
tho most prominent eiticn of tho Union.
Tho developments of the table, says Mr.
nam's, are simply astounding. Behold
New Yi vk city submitting to an annual
tax of more than $34 per capita, and at
the same timo struggling to carry an
amount of debt averaging $126 for every
man, woman and child of the popula
tion. Most of these cities, it seems, are
taxed for current annual expenses far be
yond the entire net earnings of their re
spective population. Mr. Harris con
cludes that the average net earnings or
accumulations of all the individuals of
a city do not exceeel $10 per capita, and
that the proper annual tax for defraying
the cost of managing all the affairs of a
city is $8 per capita. Tho question how
the poople have met tho high taxes of
the last ten years, Mr. Harris answers
by showing that from 18G2 down to a
very recent period, there was a steady
inflation iu the market value of all prop
erty, r.nd especially of real estate in the
cities. This inflation was due to derange
ment of the currency. All this is chang
ing now, and contraction is fairly nmler
way. Henceforth the local taxes, when
paid, must be paid out of tho current
net earnings, or accumulations of tho
people ; aud it will be found that the
siime legitimate tax per capita, which
obtained before the war, is quito as
heavy a bureleu as the people are able
to bear.
Moonstruck.
A Cincinnati Oazette reader wants to
know whothor the changes of the moon
have any effect on tho weather, and, if
so, wny. JLlo also asks whether lunatics
avo influenced by lunar changes, and, if
uot, why they are thus called. In re
gard to thn first of theso points, that
p.iper say", modern men of ecieneo are
about nnanimous in denying that the
moon influences anything but the tides.
The popular impression from time im
memorial has been to the opposite.
From this impression madmen derived
their name. Whatever may bo tho fact
iu regard to the moon having anything
to do with insanity, tho writer can affirm
t hat he has seen ono case, at letu,t, when
it man became a raving niomao at the
full of the moon, recovering his senses
when exhaustion hail put an end to his
wild demonstrations, and continuing in
apparent soundncps of mind until a few
dajs before tho full ho experienced pre
monitions of his approachingparoxysms.
He was a person of intelligence, autl
well off pecuniarily, anel was a voluntary
inmato of an asylum, being free to go in
and out except during this week or so of
each mouth, whou ho was bereft of his
reason. We state tho case as it was,
leaving its explanation to psychologists
and physiologists. There) is a wido
spreael belief that the moon's rays are
inimical to health. This, wa think, has
been pronounced a superstition by men
of science. Wo are not prepared to dis
puta their verdict ; yet an instance that is
well authenticated so.-ima to justify
doubt in their infallibility. Soma forty
years ago, in au Eaitcru State, two little
girls, cousins, occupied the same bed.
They rotired in apparent health, but
woke in the morning ch-ad lama. One
wa-; :iover able to walk afterward, while
tha other, after using iron supports to
her ankles for a fow years with partial
f.ucoo's was compelled to givo up all
attempts at locomotion. There was no
cause that could bo ascribed for this
double visitation with auy plausibility,
except that the moon was very bright
ou tho unlucky night, and that its rays
shouo full ou tho bed where tho girls
lay. It was always believed that they
were "moonstruck; if they wero not
no ono could assign a reason for their
lumc-ness.
Ou Account of his Family.
The other morning a huugry looking
man was bothering the melon dealers at
a Detroit market to fiuel a five cent
melon. Ono of the dealers became an
noyed at tho stranger's persistency, and
called out:
"Why don't you invest fifteen or
twenty cents iu a nice melon and take it
home ?"
" I will at once tell you why I don't,"
was the soft reply. " I should kinder
hate to take a melon home and sit down
and eat np all before my wife and cliil-
elren. tseems to me it would look kinder
hoggish not to give them all a piece
around, and so I will buy one and eat it
here."
"And I hope the seeds will choke
you !" shouted the dealer.
" But they won't I am always very
careful to spit 'em out 1"
Considerate " Considering that
the mosquitoes are making their fall
raids, and are particularly lively just
now, my dear." said Jones to his wife,
" don't you think it would be a good
idea to bring the baby's crib into our
room? We might divert the attention
of the Toracious insects a little from our
selves. 1 hate to be broken of my rest,
and baby can sleep all day, you know."
Mrs. Jones went in search of the tongs
at once.
i