HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
NIL - DESPERANDTJM.
Two Dollars per Annum.
VOL. V.
HIDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, 0.CT01JEU 14, 1875.
NO. 34.
. My Little Wife and I.
We are traveling o'er life' road togothe r,
My little wife aud I ;
We are happy iu fair and stormy weathert
My little wife and I.
Tbe reason why is verj p'ain,
Tlitro'a nothing queor about it :
We never give each other paiu,
When we cau do without it.
We, have toiled o'er many a road most dreary,
My little wife and I )
But onr hearts were light, when our feet were
weary,
My little wife and I.
The reason why we Journeyed on,
Since hand in hand we Btarted :
We ne er had seen the battle won
By those who were faint-hearted.
Though our home be plain, that never teases
My little wife and me ;
Though a humble cor, right well it pleases
5ly liitlo wife aud me.
The n ason why we are content,
We do not fear to labor,
And though in toil our time is spent,
We euvy not our neighbor.
AVo never dream of ill for the morrow,
My little wife and I ;
But take what may con;e, be it Joy or sorrow,
My liitlo wife and I.
The re as.ra why we do not fret,
Aud you'd do well to try it ;
We ne'er have found a person yet
That was a gainer by it.
KRESCENZ.
An Idyl of the Moselle.
It wns evening in the ancient town of
Tiii r ; the Angelus was ringing down
from the great fortress-like Dora ; the
little carts and stalls ha 1 vanished out
of the market-place : and the carved
saints, clustered on the fountain, smiled
Venignly in the setting sun. Old women
in strange head-dresses, beads and books
in liana, passed in and out of St. Gon
dolphus' curious gates ; young girls,
with long, fair, plaited hair, moved in
groups across the open place ; brilliant
unuormH snone up on the balconies of
the Ilothe Haus: tho shoukeeners in
tho queer little peaked houses stood at
their doors and amused themselves;
while the awful black arches of the Porta
JNigra lrowucd more grimly than ever in
mo glowing light, and the gay and
quaint little frescoes at the street corners
seemed to blaze out with new color at
its touch. One particularly bigh-paked
. roof was suddenly covered with a flock
of white pigeons alighting to rest, and
at the same moment a face appeared at a
nine open winuow among tho birds,
looked up and down the streets, and was
withdrawn again. The face belonged to
n young gin, ana tno room into which
she withdrew was pleasant and neat, if a
in tie uare. a woru-tahlo at the window
uli owed that it was tho home of a seuni-
btivss ; a httie shrine hung m a corner.
with a tiny lamp burning ; a few rude
. pictures decorated the walls. The irirl
. .. ln i i i i - -
na uuHiiBu m a noiuiay aress of dark
green stun, with white sleeves and
apron, and wore a scarlet flower iu her
breast. Sho had a soft, sweet, innocent
face, and her fair hair hung behind in
two long golden braids from her neck to
Her Jsnees.
As sho turned from the window, a
curly -haired boy burst into the room.
" I h.ive a message for you, Krescenz.
I met Karl, and he told me to tell you
he could Dot see you to-night. He is
suddenly sent on business."
A look of disappointment clouded the
girl's face ; but, after a few moments of
silence, she suid :
" How good it is that they find him so
useful. But come, Max, you shall not
be disappointed of your excursion. You
mid I will go for our walk, and I will
take you for a peep at our cottage."
Max snatched his hat, which he had
flung off in disgust, and? locking the
door behind them, tho sister and brother
ilesm nded many stairs, and took their
way through the streets, and out by the
Porta Nig a, into the country.
'.' Look here, Max, did you ever see
anything so gloriously blue as the Mo
selle this evening ? Could you bear to
live away from it ? How glad I am that
our new home will be near it. And look,
how magnificent the red light is upon
t ha vine-covered banks, with the crim
son earth glowing between ! How tho
t;dl dark poplars and tho golden acacias
seem to thrill as tbey bask in this won
derful light ! If I had been a man, Max,
I should certainly have tried to be an
artist. Karl laughs at me when I say so;
he does not care for such things, and
gets annoyed when I talk about them ;
and yet I never saw half the beauty of
things till he loved nie."
" How many people are out walking
to-night, Krescenz. I never saw the
road so guy. Oh, there is that Gretchen
kissing her hands to me, and I will not
look at her. Why r Because she was
impertinent this morning, telling mo
that Karl had left off loving you, and
was going to marry Luise."
" It was a silly joke, Max. I hope
you did not get angry. What did you
nay ?"
"Something that ought to havo
stopped her kissing hands to me," said
Max.
"It was too foolish to be angry about,
little brother. Some one said it to me,
the other day, and I only laughed. I
knew so well it was because I sent Karl
a message to Luise, the other evening.
But Gretchen ought not to have said it
to you, Max. When I get to my new
. homo, I don't think I shall ask her to
come and see me. I do not want to liate
. anybody, and "
"I will do the hating for yon, Kres
oenz, aud I hate every one who says that
Karl does not love you."
" Every one 1 Don't give such a big
name to two people, Max. If Karl did
not love me, should not I be the first to
know of it? Ah, do you see our little
house peeping above the acacias up in
the fields over there? How delightful it
will be to live there. Max, with all the
flowers growing in at one's windows.
And Karl is providing this home for
me ! Ah, little Max, this looks rather
like loving one, doesn't it?"
Max was silent, and kept his face
turned away, with a slight frown on the
brows.
"I wish I could suddenly grow big,
Krescenz," be said, abruptly.
The sister laughed. " My dear, you
must wait," she said, gayly. "By and-
bye you shall copy your brother Karl,
and if you can manage to grow like him
you will do very well. In the meantime,
you are not quite so small as you were,
my boy, when I first took you in my
arms, and carried you about our poor
garret, trying to put you to sleep.
Mother had died the day before I was
ten years old, and you were only born.
I was a very little nurse, wasn't I ? But
it seemed to me that my heart was a
hundred years old. How proud I was
of you, and how I loved you 1"
" And you worked for me, didn't you,
Krescenz?"
"Ah, didn't I? We were alone in
the world, only you aud me. I paid a
poor old woman a very, very old
woman, who could not do anything else
a penny a day for taking care of you,
and I worked for us two. I was a strong
little girl, and as industrious as a bee.
People gave me work to do; it was very
hard until I was about fourteen, and
then I learned to sew, and things began
to be better. At sixteen 1 was able to
rent a little room for myself, and so
bring homo my little brother. Ah, Max,
how often we have been huugry togeth
er I a-id yet you are a brave boy for your
age. I have' pulled you through the
worst', and now God has taken us both
into happiness and safety. No more
scanty crusts for you. No more sitting
up all night, sewing by candle, for me.
No more pinching at the heart when
rent-day is coming round. Who could
have thought of it; that Karl, whom
every one admires, should havo sought
out mo I I did not occept him hastily,
Max, for I was afraid he might change
his mind ; afraid that he had not known
what ho was saying, or that he did not
know perfectly how much people thought
of him. But he would persist in loving
me, he would, indeed ; aud that is why
I laugh so muck when the people tell
idle tales. If von only knew, inv good
people,' I think; 'if you only knew
how well I know.' And Max you see
I do not mind saying anything to you
I must confess that tho greatest trouble
I have had lately, has been the fear that
so much sitting up at night was taking
away all my good looks. I look so sick
ly sometimes when tho morning light
comes in. etare me well in the lace,
Max, and tell me if I am getting ugly."
" You are the prettiest and loveliest
girl in the town, sifter Krescenz."
"But I am not rosy, like Gretchen
uor are my eyes so mg ana Dnglit as
Luisti s, uor
"No matter," persisted Max. "Not
one of them can smile the way you do."
"After that I must say something
nice to you, Max. Sit down here on the
grass, and let me tell you the kind of
life we shall have over in our little house
yonder. We shall have four rooms of
our own, and- there are vines growing
round all the windows. We shall have
a pretty garden with bees and flowers,
and a held with a cow in it. I sl.a'l do
my sewing sitting under a tree, looking
down on the Moselle. You will go to
work with Karl, aud in the cveniug you
will both come homo, and wo -shall have
supper iu tho garden."
" I wish we had some now, Krescenz."
I' I wish we had, my boy ; and I think
it is iime to go ana iojk lor some coffee
and bread."
I ho sister and brother turned their
steps towards a pleasant summer-house
of refreshment, built among trees, upon
the high overhanging bank of the river,
where the people of Trier love to drink
coffee in the cool of tho evening. As
the girl aud child took their simple meal
in a nook of the projecting terrace, the
bluo Moselle rushed under their feet.
and Trier lay bathed iu ruddy glory in
the distance before their eyes, with its
strange contrasting outlines softened
into magnificent Inirmonv. and the tieren
black Iti man gates making a frown ou
the very front of the sunny landscape.
" How splendid it look's, the dear old
town ?" cried Krescenz. "Do vou kuow.
Max, I cannot understand whv neonlo
eer leave their homes to go out into the
woria.
" I should like
tj go out aud see the
world," said Max,
" You mustn't sav so. Max. Nothing
would ever induce me to 1. avo Trier."
1 hey were rambliug auioua the trees
on the hillside, stopping now aud then
to lean forward and "take a fresh peep at
the beauty of the river aud the exauisite
gleams of the distance ou either side.
" OU, Krescenz. Krescenz I I have
fouud a puir of lovers."
iNo! Have you, Max? said Kres
cenz with interest.
' Behind that largo tree, in such a
pretty nook. Just peep around and you
cau see."
Hide, then, while I peer), so care
fully."
Max retired while Kresceuz leaned for
ward with a smile of mischievous de
light, and peered from behind a screen
of leaves, herself unseen by the objects
of her interest. When the boy thought
he had waited long enough, he came
forth again, and plucked her bv the
skirt.
She turned to him slowly, and put her
finger on her Jip.
" Krescenz 1 Kresceuz!" whispered
the child, "what makes your face so
dreadful? Are they ghosts?"
" Hush, Max ! I cannot see, take me
by tho hand, aud get me into some quiet
place, where nobody will find us."
"Oh, Krescenz, you are ill! Aro
you going to die?"
" No, dear, I shall not dio. Fetch me
some water, and tell nobody."
Max obeyed, and while the red light
paled on the Moselle, and purple
mingled with the crimson and olive of
its banks, the girl's white face lay on the
moss, gazing blankly upward with fixed
eyes. The tears trickled over Max's in
nocent cheeks as ho nestled at her side
and kissed her lips, her hands and her
hair.
"Oh, Krescenz! may I not call some f
one to come and help you home?"
"No, dear, no," baid the young girl,
starting up. " We are not going home
any more. We are going away some
where else, you and I together'
" What, away from Trier ?"
" Yes, I am tired of Trier."
" I thought you said you eould never
leave Trier ; and what will Kail say to
you i
" Oh, Max! oh, Max!"
" Where shall we sleep to-night, if we
keep walking on at this rate I" .
" We shall rest on the road, and to
morrow we will travel further. There
o.i "
ore other towns beside Trier, where in
dustrious people can get work to do."
Oh, Krescenz ! I am afraid you have
gone mad. Those people behind the
trees must have been the wicked spirits
we reaa about, and tliey have harmed
you."
" Do you know who they were, Max ?
ii.au ana ljiuse. Gretchen was right,
after all."
" But did they say they were going to
be married ?" said the boy. " Oh, don't
groan, Arescenz, and I will try i nd ask
no more questions."
" Dear Max, there is nothing more
for me at Trior, That is why we are
gomg together out into the world."
" Oh that I could grow big and go
dock ana km iiimr
" Hush I you must not talk such non
Bense. Yon must take care of me now,
as I have nobody else."
"That I will, indeed ; but oh, Kres
cenz, my canary !"
." Somebody will take care of it, dear.
We can get another."
" And your pretty little shrine?"
" Somebody else will kneel at it. I
can pray to God anywhere, you know.
Deepening shadows dropped on the
Moselle, and the two young figures
Jiurned on througli tho purple twilight
away from Trier.
A Brave Man.
Sir Charles and Lady Napier were
riding one evening unattended, on the
summit of the Mahablcsh hills. The
sun had just set, the pathway was narrow,
bordered on oie side by jungle, and on
the other by a deep precipice. By-and-bye
turning to his wife rather suddenly,
but yet quietly, ho desired her to ride
on at full speed to the nearest village,
aud send some people back to the spot
where she had left him, and he further
more bade her not to ask him the reason
why he sent her. She obeyed in silence
but then she knew her husband. Yet
it was no slight trial of her courage as
well as of her obedience, for the way
was lonely, and beset with many possible,
perils; but sho rode boldly aud rapidly
forward, aud gained a village a few
miles distant in safety.
Tho party whom she then dispatched
and accompanied met Sir Charles, how
ever, about a mile from the place, follow
ing iu his lady's track; and he then ex
plained the reason of his strange and
unquestionable demand.
Ho had seen, as they slowly walked
their horses, first a pair of fiery eyes
gleam nt them from the jungle, and then
the head of a full-grown tiger. He was
sure, if they both rode on, that the
terrible beast, following the instinct of
its nature, would give chase; and he
feared, if Lady Napier knew the dread
ful peril at hand, that she might be so
startled as to be unable to make an effort
at escape; or, at least, that she would
not consent to his own judicious plan,
and leave him alone with the danger.
So ho tested her obedience, as we have
seen, successfully. He remained liim
self, with only his holster pistols, con
fronting aud controlling the monster
with the steady, unflinching glance of
his eagle eye, and after a short gaze, and
a muttering growl, the tiger turned back
into the jungle, leaving him free to
follow his wife.
What ew York Eals.
There is a total of nearly 00,000 cattle
of all kinds brought to New York city
every week to be cut up and eaten in the
city, with the exception of about thirty
per cent , which is either exported or
delivered in tho neighborhood of New
York. Some of this meat is sent to New
Orleans, Savannah and Charleston or to
inland towns, and, in tho seasou, when
the passenger traffic is at its height from
New York to Europe, each steamer leav
ing that port will take with her as much
fresh meat for her ten or eleven days'
voyage as would suffice to supply the
guest1? of one of our first-class city
hotels for a week. Beef cattle range in
weight from one tliniisHml tn coronin
hundred pounds, sheep from eighty to
uiio iiiuiuieu uuu sixty pouuus; calves
will av(ia from iiintv t fwn I.uvwIi-a.i
and twenty pounds, and a hog, whether
uu iuiu- iee& or ou two, is always uncer
tain, but the four-footed animal generally
ranges in weight from one hundred to
one thousand pounds. So says tho
superintendent of the cattle yard.
A noted fish meieliiint enva Tim
amount of fish used iu the city of New
V 1 i.. ."I . . -
j. urn in ono uay, we win say ir riday,
Which is the best dav for ft fish nnln ia
as follows : Hudiloek, 200.000 pounds !
30,000 codfish, 15,000 bluefish, 2,000
strined bass. 2(1.(100 IVonli
100,000 halibut, 2,000 Spanish mackerel)
9,500 refrigerated salmon, 25,000 miscel
laneous fish, such ftRbnttorlvuh
flsh (the smelts and porgies come m
lubci ) , pouuus oi lODsters, two
hundred Cllllonsof RPftllnns
0 -- "- V 'I V J-4 liUVil Ull
dozen of soft crabs, one thousand pounds
oi green turtle lor soups and steaks.
He Struck the Wrong Man.
" See what feet !" exclaimed a daoner
little Chicago dandy, as ho pointed to
the tremendous pedal extremities' of an
overgrown but honest looking countrv
youth who was passing at the time.
OU-ho-lio! laughed a crowd of
brother "styles."
1 sweah, though, continued tho
first speaker, "if I don't believe the
fellah weahs twice as lawge a boot us I
do."
" Yes," quietly said the countryman.
as he half turned around in his course,
ana twice as large a liat, too.
Aud the dandy, looking at his com
panions with a sickly smile, tried to get
some consolation, but they didn't give
him any.
A Dreadful Result.
There are two persons on the lawn.
It is pa aud ma. They are playing cro
quet. She is ahead of him. See how
she smiles, There, he has passed her.
She does not smile now. She only ham
mers the ground. How he keeps going
through the arches. It is not net turn
yet. But how hard she hits her ball.
Did you hear some glass jingle? It
was tho cellar window. There is her
mallet, too. It is flung toward the man.
Suo how he dodges it It has landed
over the fence. The woman has got
through. She is going into the houss.
How furiously she twitches along.
Now the man ia left alone. He is play
ing croquet all by himself.
A HOUSE OF MAM GIBLES.
Enftlnnil' Cozy BnlMtn Tor the Centennial
Is the 4(iipen Coming to America?
The Philadelphia Time says : Nest
ling cozily in a cluster of stately chest
nut trees at the foot of George's hill is
one of the oddest of the many odd build
iugs that within the last few months
have been erected on the Centennial
grounds. A short walk under the trees
leads to the wall of this singular build
ing, within which a dozen or more car
penters are at work, and on tho roof of
which several more ore nailing the
shingles. This is the first of the British
government's twiu buildings, and the
first building erected by a foreign gov
ernment on the Centennial grounds. It
is a two-story cottage, and its size is not
at all commensurate with the size and
power of the country by which it was
put up. As it stands among the trees iu
a spot so darkened by the shade that the
workmen almost have to use lanterns
when they have to drive a nail, it has an
air of British poetry and English ro
mance spread all over it and through it.
If some of the- old-time novelists hat!
wanted to describe a robber's den, or a
pretty maiden's cottage , or even a
ghostly hauntod house, they could not
have found a more appropriate place
than this very British building in the
park. It is almost a house with seven
gables ; and no matter where you stand,
or from what angle you look, one of the
gables is always staring you iu the face
not with an impudent stare, but with an
easy, comfortable look, that carries
with it au invitation to come in and
welcome.
But the oddest of all the odd things
about this remarkable house are the
chimneys. The architect undoubtedly
started with the intention of putting up
a frame building, aud he succeeded as
far as the corners aud a few odd'boards
are concerned, but when the masons be
gan with the chimneys there was no
room left for much of anything else.
Stuffed into a house not much bigger
than a seaside cottage are five of the
biggest and queerest chimneys that
architect ever drew or mason ever built.
Broad chimneys, thick chimneys, high
chimneys. Outside they make about
two-thirds of the wall, and inside they
make you wonder where a stout Britisher
will find space in any of the rooms to
sit dowu. Broad at the base, each
chimney runs up, square and clumsy,
till it reaches the edge of the roof ; then
it narrows suddenly and goes on ten
feet or so higher, when it as suddenly
widens out again into a heavy band at
the top, and then quickly tapers off into
space. Iusido, iu every one of tho five
little rooms is a cozy, old-fashioned fire
place, with broad mouth and a sugges
tion of winter evenings and the yulo log
smoking.
The workmen ore unable to tell why
tho Queen has made such elaborate
preparations for the warmth of her com
missioners. Any one of the fireplaces
would heat the entire building iu May
or Novembei, and in any of tbe inter
vening months would drive the coldest
Britisher into the neighboring lake.
But some jealous subject must have im
posed upon her majesty with the idea
tliat America is a frozen waste, aud
Fuirmount Park crowded with icebergs
aud avalanches. Rolls of building paper
on the outside show what the material of
the weather-boarding will be ; and when
the bright shingles are all on, and a coat
of cheerful paint covers tho outside
walls, and smoke from British logs is
curling from the five tall chimneys, the
odd building iu tho little chestnut grove
will be one ot the prettiest aud queerest
in the park. Adjoining it is its mate, a
larger building, but more on the Ameri
can square-box plan, with holes for
windows aud doors.
How Fat will Bees Go for Honey!
The above question, says the Rural
New Yorker, we believe, has never
been satisfactorily answered. A beo-
Keeper once tried the old experiment of
dusting the bees with flour as they left
the hive, then rode to a heath seven
miles away, where he discovered his
white bees busily engaged in collecting
honey. This experiment, however, can
not be relied on, for tho simple reason
that pollen, with which bees are fre
quently completely covered, bears a
close resemblance to flour, and might
readily be taken for it when bees are on
the wing. It is our belief that they sel
dom venture more than three miles from
home, for we have known them to be in
a starving condition when auother apiarv
only foiy miles away was flourishing and
gathering stores rapidly. It has in re
cent years been proved by Italian hy
brids that queens have met with drones
which were known to bo at least three
miles away, but this will scarcely apply
to worker bees flitting about from flower
to flower ; they must become weary
before they ore four or even three miles
away from home.
Wheat for Children.
Teething children who are beginning
to eat solid food can be supplied with
nothing better than biscuits made from
granulated wheat. The child will not
attempt to swallow this food until it is
Bofteued bv mastication, and the me
chanical action of the biscuit upon the
gums will greatly assist the teeth toward
making their appearance. Tho act of
eating this food will necessarily occupy
much time, and this will give the te- th
aud jaws considerable valuable exercise.
The food thus swallowed proves very
nutritious and rapidly builds up small
boys and girls, as well as larger ones.
In all stomach troubles and bowel com
plaints it seems to have a wonderful
power to regulate and restore.
A Climax,
This climax in the way of wedding
notices appears in a Connecticut paper :
The blue eyes of the bride seemed
brighter than ever, and, with her light
hair, formed a suitable contrast to her
husband's extremely black hair and
eyes. This matrimonial alliance has not
been entered into unadvisedly ; it has
been in contemplation for about two
years, and meets with most cordial ap
proval of all the relatives and friends of
the newly married couple. The bride's
mother regards her new son-in-law as if
he were her cwn son. He will continue,
as heretofore, to be employed in the
vegetable ivory button factory.
Artificial Trout Cnlfiire.
In the United States much attention
is being paid to trout culture, and many
private ponds have been or are now be
ing built. Au exchange gives some in
teresting stories of trout raising. It
says : During spawning season trout
And the sandy and gravely bottom, the
conditions most favorable to their pur
pose. Digging with their noses pits in
the saud six or seven inches deep, and
three or four feet in diameter, the trout
places in the center of these excavations
a line of stoues of various sizes, accord
ing to the size of the flsh. In this work
a number of trout oo-operoto, and, when
the bed is thus prepared, the eggs are
deposited by the females in successive
lines, and after impregnation the whole
mass is covered up by the parents, the
noses, fins, and tails being freely used in
tho operation. While this work is pro
gressing there are generally a number of
email, feathered spectators, called water
ousels, in the vicinity, deeply interested
in tho operation. .These visit the beds
when tho fish leave, and, disappearing
beneath the surface, pick up such in
sects ns would otherwise feed upon the
ova.
Iu the course of a month the eggs are
hatched, aud thesp eggs are wonderful
things in their way. Semi-transparent,
and varyiug ia Bize from the head of a
large pin to the dimensions of a large
pea, they have a peculiarly horny and
elastio shell, so that, if struck agaiust
any hard substance, they will rebonud
threrefrom with the elasticity of a minia
ture ball of India rubber. Subject to
the action of the water, and to abrasion
among tho gravel aud sand, these little
eggs are protected by the peculiar
properties of the delicate looking case in
which they are inclosed.
A few days before the imprisoned em
bryo is ready to emerge from his prison,
two little black specks are observed
within the shell. These are the eyes,
and a glance through a microscope re
veals a movement of the body and a
wagging of the tail, all of which are
doubtless the preliminary efforts which
are to result m the final deliverance.
When he has at last emerged there is a
little sao attached to his abdomen, and
this constitutes his sole nourishment as
he lies on the bottom, unablo, so long as
this appendage remains, to rise to the
surface. The umbilical sac disappears
iu four weeks, and then, for the first
time, tho fry employs his means of loco
motion to good purpose. The little
fins and tails are set at work, and carry
him from place to place iu quest of ani
malcules aud such infinitesimal game.
To enable him to grow apace, he must
have plenty of the right kind of food,
and clear spring water having a tempera
ture of from forty to forty-five degrees.
Bullock's livers cut fine and grated, offal,
or the flesh of almost any animal subject
to the same process, will suit his taste.
Ho is not fastidious, and, when he has
attained a weight f two or three pounds,
he enjoys such dainty morsels as a frog
or a mouse. He is, in fact, a keen
sighted hunterof mice and other " small
deer," and will lie iu wait under the
pads of water lilies or the shelving banks,
or behind a log or stone, as eager after
his prey as Grinmlkin himself ready to
pounce upon the hapless victim the mo
ment he shall be withiu reach.
Detroit Free Press Curreuey.
Henry Swan, of Otsego, New York,
called his wife to him as he was dying
and said : " Mary Jane, when you feed
tho hogs to-morrow night you'll be the
widow Swan !" And she was.
They are going to put up a headstone
at the grave of Copt. Cook just as soou
ns anybody can be found to point out
the grave. Meauwhilo, the committee
will hold your subscriptions.
We can't all of ns beat the English
aud Irish at target-shooting, but most of
us can get chosen on county fair com
mittees to award prizes to the best hogs
and tho biggest melons.
When a Maine mau can cut off his
wife's head and get off with ten years'
sentence, should any of us be afraid to
heave a rock at an alderman's front door?
There are twenty-eight brands of teas
known to the trade, aud almost any gro
cer can sell one dollar tea and twelve
shilling tea from the same box.
When one gets mad at an aristocrat
in Washington it comes very handy to
say to him: "I know you you sold
gingerbread during tho war."
Bayard Taylor says that there is alco
hol in fresh bread, butone has to eat one
hundred and eighty loaves before he im
bibes enough of the liquid to feel happy.
The next Legislature of Ohio is going
to make a law which will blister a tramp
from heel to ear in just twenty-two
seconds.
Any one who hasn't been invited to de
liver au agricultural address has a right
to be mad.
You can clear a barn of rats in less than
ten minutes by setting fire to the hay in
the mow.
Ladies' (i loves.
Each number of gloves, says a fashion
journal, comes in three shapes, viz. :
short lingered, medium, and long-fingered
a thing to be remembered by
readers out of town who send to the city
for their gloves. Gloves fastened by
butone button cost SI. 65; those with
two buttons are $2 ; with three buttous,
82.50 ; with four buttons, $3. Undressed
kid gloves are the favorite choice for
general wear with stylish people. A
novelty this year is the white undressed
kid glove that will be worn at receptions
as well as in the street. There are aluo
more serviceable shades of drab, wood,
and mode. Undressed kid gloves fas
tened by two buttons aro 1.75; by three
buttons, they are f 2 ; and by four but
tons, $2.25. Double-stitched gloves,
called " dog-skin," but which are really
made of heavy kid-skins, are liked for
service in traveling, country drives, and
cold weather ; these are as pliable and as
nicely finished as the choicest kid
gloves, and cost 2. Castor gloves, that
bleach and soften the hands and prevent
them from chapping, are SI. 75 for those
fastened by one button ; twenty-five
cents is added as the length is increased
and another butten required. Children's
gloves, fastened by two buttons now
begin with infants sizes that are small
enough' to fit a babe of twelve months.
There are also the stylish three-buttoned
gloves for misses ; these are $2.
A Taste of Art.
We were looking at some splendid
photographs the other day. Magnificent
pictures they were ! Having a natural
taste for art, whenever we see any
thing remarkably tine we get to think
ing. We thought what an advance the
art of picture taking had made since we
were a boy, aud everybody particularly
printers when they broke down under
the pressure of their regular business,
followed the art of taking daguerreo
types, and compelled their unfortunate
victims to sit for three minutes which
seemed three hours their eyes directed
into the opening of the camera. What
agony theso poor victims suffered, and
how eagerly they watched, and how
anxious they were, after the "picture
was took," until it was cased, paid for
(price three dollars), and taken home to
be the wonder of the neighborhood.
And then we thought of the photo
graph gallery on the same floor of the
office in which we were a "devil " to the
"art preservative," and how there came
stamping up the stairs one day a great
lubberly boy, the sound of whose heavy
shoes resounded through the building as
his feet came down with a crash. And
tho very funny voice in which he asked
if this was where "profiles was took,"
aud of our answer that it was, and of the
other devil that took possession of us,
and which we regret every time we think
of it.
Boys will be boys, and printers' devils
were then the worst the very worst
imps in tho world. We have not forgot
ten how we took that young granger's
profile ; how wo seated him on the high
editorial stool, and made him hold before
his face a heavy wrapper, while we took
the old ball with which we inked the
form, and covering it with printers' ink
more carefully thau we did when beating
a form for old Natt, tho pressman, we
stood before the victim aud told him
that oil was ready, and whon we said
drop, he must let go the corners of the
paper.
It is all before us to-day, tho trembling
fingers holding up tho paper and hiding
from view what was going on outside of
it, Bomewhat suspicious, no doubt, that
all was not right, yet hoping that it
might be, and that a good picture for
Mary Ann would be the result, onrself
standing there, holding the ball up be
fore the paper and shaking with inside
laughter so that we could scarcely utter
the word " drop," and Mike, the junior
devil, off ono side crowding the inky
towel into his mouth to keep from laugh
ing. Then came the word " drop," and the
heavy wrapper fell, and the ball was
pushed forward into tho victim's face.
His hands went up to keep off the blow,
but hands, face, hair and clothes were
one mass of black, sticky ink, and such
a picture as was "took." Sad as the re
sult was, it makes us smile to-day as we
think of the victim standing there, won
dering what it was all about, and grow
ing more and more angry every second
as light began to dawn upon his mind.
It was vary laughable just then, but
when young Granger Baw through it all
and made for us, and we went dowu
through the office one way aud Mike
the other, oud galleys of type aud cases
went to the floor, and Granger's foot
went through the advertising page of
last week's form, as it stood agaiust a
stone frame, and Mike aud ourself struck
the door at the same time, and just os
the proprietor came in just in time to
save us from Granger's wrath, but also
iu time to view the destruction done, tho
typo that it would take a week to reset
pied, and to take us in hand himself.
Iu those days printers' devils did not
run the office themselves; the "old
man " had a hand in it, if necessary,
even to physical correction, and, if our
memory serves us right, we felt what it
was to be corrected, aud quit the da
guerreotype business forever. Owego
(A'. J'.) Record.
Fly-Catching Rats.
Mr. C. B. Odell, at his hotel on Front
street, says tho Newburgh (N. Y.)
Telegraph, i the happiest owner of a
fly exterminator, which for thorough
work is unsurpassed by anything we
have ever seen. In one of the windows,
fronting on Front street, where samples
of his wares are occasionally shown, a
rat began several weeks since to mako
sly visits, and secured a good meal as
often as he came by catching the many
flies which are on the panes of glass.
He grew very expert at it, and though
at first quite shy, soon became em
boldened when he found he was not dis
turbed in his foraging expeditions, and
would pursue his business not at all
intimidated by spcctators who were only
separated from him by a pane of glass.
He obtained eutrance to the window by
gnawing a hole through the wooden base,
coming from below. For weeks he has
pursued his fly-hunting business undisi
turbed. One Sunday one of the waiters
discovered him in the actof introducing
a friend or member of his family to his
foraging ground. The new comer was
very shy, and only put his head through,
while the old hibitue tried to coax him
in the window. He would catch a fly,
gravely hand it to his friend, who would
as gravely eat it, ond look for more. By
degrees he lost a little of his fear, walked
out, aud soon became an expert in the
new business. Either one or both may
be seen almost any day by any one who
may be patient enough to wait for their
appearance a short time. It is certainly
a very novel sight and well worth a few
minutes' time to see.
An Underground Forest.-
A mau living in Essex county, Vir
ginia, in digging a well recently, at a
depth of about thirty feet came npou
the trunks of large trees Feveral feet in
diameter, which were found to be
cypress. Fearing the wator would be
injured by the wood, he determined to
abandon his well, and dug another some
distance off. When he had reached
about the same depth her gain encoun
tered the trees ; and a third attempt, at
a still greater distance from the first
well, again brought him in contact with
this subterranean forest, the trees of
which are of great sizo and well preserv
ed. Yale College, lost three men during
variation bv violent deaths. Ona oKnt
himself, one was drowned and a third
was Killed woue piajmg case ball.
Items of Interest.
Political necessities are the mothers of
conventions.
Support home institutions support
your families.
Evening gray and morning ed
Sends the farmer wet to bed (
Evening red and moruing gray
Is the eure Blgn ot a very line day.
It is now proposed to enlist men iu
tho army as cooks, and at each recruit
ing depot to establish a school for their
training.
A man was once'osked if he had ever seen
a red blackberry. " To be sure I have,"
said he ; " all blackberries are red when
they're green."
The time honored " rush " at Yale
College between the sophomores and
freshmen did not come off this year.
The faculty forbade it.
A Miss Hergent, of Kansas, has fallen
heir to an estate valued at $100,000, and
scores of impecunious young fellows ore
urgent to become her gent.
There are several roads to the divorce
courts, but there is none more traveled
than the one via the fashionablo dress
and bonnet making establishments.
When you've nothing to do but flutter about,
Gossiping as you flit,.
Just take our advice, " step down and out,"
Give up the gboat and "git."
Governor Kirkwood, of Iowa, recently
said " he honestly hoped to see the day
when in going to the polls we shall take
our wives, daughters, and Bisters with
us."
A gentleman in Nueces county, Texas,
has a field of sixty thousand acres with
in one fence. He recently filled ou or
der by telegraph for twenty-six thousand
beeves.
"Havo you caught any fish, bub?"
asked a gentleman of a small urchin that
was fishing. "Yes, sur, a good eel,"
said ho, exhibiting one about eighteen
inches long.
The expressing of dead Chinese from
California to China has become a thrifty
freight business. Each one, when liv
ing, keeps constantly on hand his coffin,
duly labeled and directed to destina
tion. There is a man in Iowa who never had
any oyes. The sKin grows over tho
place usually occupied by them tho same
as over tho rest of the face. It is per
haps unnecessary to add that he is Btono
blind.
An old gentleman, with a kind but de
termined look on his face, said : " Tho
next time that boy refuses to go on an
errand I will go for him." The boy
heard of the kind offer, and concluded
to go as told.
A cubic inch of gold is worth $UG ;
a cubic foot, 8252,288. Tho quantity of
gold now in existence is estimated to be
$3,000,000,000, which, welded in ono
mass, could bo contained iu a cube of
twenty-three feet.
A Mormon in Provo, of whom Captain
Codman tells in tho O'alary, is ninety
two years old, and the father of sixty
children, the eldest of whom is seventy
years old, and the youngest sixty-seven
years his brother's junior.
An Ediuburgh lover received tho
following note, accompanied by a bou
quet of flowers: "Dear I send
you bi the boy a bucket of flours. They
is lik my love for u. The nightshade
menes kopo dark. The dog fenel menes
I am your slave, ltosis red and posis
pail, my love for you shall never fale."
Now, young man, listen while we tell
you how to pop tho question. Get the
young lady well cornered where no one
can overhear you, and then poke this
conundrum ot her : " When will there
be only twenty-five letters in the olpha
bet ?" Answer " When you and I aro
made one." After that it is plain sail
ing. When you meet a small youth playing
the drum, at the head of a lot of two
foot soldiers, with a stick and brass ket
tle, you may know that his mother has
the preserving fever, and has sat dowu
to wring her hands and wondor " what
on earth has become of that boy " she
sent after Mrs. Jonos' kettle two hours
ago.
A reporter for the Philadelphia PrenH
has learned from Mr. Boss that Mosher
and Douglass approached a patrolman,
some time before Charley Ross' abduc
tion, with a proposition to assist them iu
the abduction of a little grandson of Comi
modore Vanderbilt, whom they intend
ed to hold for ransom for tho sum of
850,000.
It is the earnest opinion of the Detroit
Free Pre that when one Bees little
ragged, homeless waifs shivering on the
utroets, and realizes that they muy grow
up to become Philadelphia detectives
and hunt for Charley Boss, it makes one
feel that they might better be laid away
now and have a bushy-tailed lamb carved
on their headstones.
A ladv asked her little boy : "Have
you called your grandma to tea ?" "Yes.
When I went to call her shs was asleep,
and I didn't wish to halloo at grand
ma, nor shake her; so I kissed her cheek,
and that awoke her Very softly. Then I
ran into the hall, and uaid pretty loud:
' Grandma, tea is ready.' And she
never knew what woke her up."
He started a hair-coloring establish
ment and got rich in two years. He at
tributes his fortune to persistent adver
tising. This is one of his advertise
ments : " Generation after generation
passeth away, the fires of the firmament
are extinguished and rekindled, the
hopes that color the dreams of Ciesnr
fade like streaks of the morning cloud
into the infinite azure of the past, but
hair dye blessed, magical hair dye
asserts an everlasting dominion and
crowns the hoary poll of age with the
capillary glories of jocund youth."
Surprised.
A young merchant called on a young
lady a few evenings since, and was shown
into tbe parlor to await ner appearance,
when, the lamps beiug unlit, he removed
a large quid of tobacco from his mouth
and threw it out of the window, as he
nupposed. When the lady appeared
with a light, the most prominent object
in the room was that young man staring
in a very embarrassed way at a big chunk
of tobacco pinning the lace curtain to
the unopened window.