HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
NIL DESPEEANDUM.
Two Dollars per Annual.
VOL. IV.
ItfDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1874.
NO. 35.
Longfellow's New Tocm,
Tli Hnngliig ot the Crime
remlre la cremailler, to hang the crane, in
the French expression for a house-warming,
or the first party givon in a new house.
The lights are out, and gone are all the guests
That Mironging came with merriment and
jests
To celebrate the hanging of the crane
In the now house into the night are gone ;
But still tho fire upon the hearth bums on,
And I alone remain.
O fortunato, 0 happy day 1 .
When a new household finds its place
Among the myriad homes of earth, ,
Like a now star just cprung to birth
And rolled on its harmonious way
Into tho boundless realms of space !
So said the guests in speech and eong,
As iu tho chimney, burning bright,
Vo hung the iron crane to-night,
And merry was the feast and long.
And now I sit and nnipe on what may be,
And in my vision sto, or seem to see,
Through floating vnpors interfused with
Shapes indeterminate, that gloam and fade,
As nhadowB parsing into deeper shade
Sink ami elude the sight.
For two alone, there in the hall,
la spread the tablo round and small ;
Upon the polished silver shine
The evening lamps, but more divine
Tho light of love shines over all ;
Of love that says not mine and thine
But ours, for ours is thine and mine.
They want no guests to come between
, Their teinlor glances liho a screen,
And tell Ihotu tales of land and sea,
And whatsoever may bctido
The great forgotten world outsido ;
They want no gneiss ; they needs must be
Each other's, own best company.
Tho picture fades ; as at a village fair
A showman's views dissolve into the air,
To reappear transfigured on the screen,
80 in my fancy tbi-s ; and now once more
In part transfigured, through tho open door
Appears (ho self-same econo.
Seated I f eo the two again,
But not alono ; they entertain
A little angel unaware,
With f aco as round as is the moon
A royal guest with flaxen hair,
Who, throned upon his lofty chair,
Druuib on the tablo with his spoon,
Then drops it carolccS on tho floor,
To gra'p at things unseen beforo.
Are tlieso celestial manrcrs? These
Ti-io ways that win, the arts that please ?
Ah, yes ; consider well tho guest,
And whatsoe'er he docs seems best ;
lie rule'h by tho right divine
Of helplessness, so lately born
In purple chambers of the morn,
As sovereign over thee and thine.
Ho speakoth not, and yet their lies
A conversation in his eyes ;
The golden silence of the Greek,
The gravest wisdom of the wise,
Kot spoken in languages, but in looks
More legible than printed books,
As if ho cjuld but would not speak.
And now, Ojuonaruh absolute,
Thy power is put to proof; for lo !
It"8tlt!i-s, fathomless and slow,
Tho nurse cornea rustling like the sea,
And pushes back thy chair and thee,
And eo good night to King Canute.
As one who walking in tho forest sees
A lovely laudecapo through the pnrtod trees,
Then sees it not for boughs that intervene,
Or as we r.ee the moon sometimes rovoaled
Throuf-'n drifting clouds, and thon again con
cealed, So I beheld the scene.
Thero are two guests at tablo now:
The king, deposed, and older grown,
No longer occupies tho throne
The crown is on his sister's brov ,
A princess from tho Fairy Tales,
The very pattern girl of girls,
All covered and embowered in ourls,
Hose tinted from the Me of Flowers,
And sailing with soft silken sails
From far oir Dreamland into ours.
Above their bowls with rims of blno
Four azure eyes of deeper hue
Are looking, dreamy with delight j
Limpid as plauetu that omergo
Above tho ocean's rounded verge,
Soft shilling through the summer night.
Steadfast they gaze, yet nothing see
Beyond tho horizon of their bowU,
Nor care they for tho world that rolls
With its freight of troubled souls
Ii'to the days that are to bo.
Again tho tossing boughs shut out the scono,
Again the drifting vapors intervene,
And the moon's Jpallid disk is hidden quite ;
And now I seo the table wider grown,
As round a pebble into water thrown
Dilates a ring of light.
tee the table wider grown,
I see it garlaudcd with guests,
As if fail Ariadne's crown
Out of the sky had fallen down ;
Maidens within whose tender breasts
A thousand restless hopes and fears,
Forth reaching to tho coming years,
Flutter awhile, then quiet lie,
Like timid birds that fain would fly,
lint do not dare to leave their nests ;
And yonths, who iu their strength elate
Challenge the van and front of fate,
Eager as champions to be
In the divine knight-errantry
Of youth, that travels sea and land
Seeking adventures, or pursues
Through cities aud through solitudes
Frequented by the lyrio Muse,
The phantom with the beckoning hand,
That still allures and still eludes.
0 sweet illusions of the braiu !
O sudden thrills of fire and frost !
The world is bright while ye remain,
And dark and dead when ye are lost !
TI.
The meadow brook, that seemeth to stand
still,
Quickens its current as it nears the mill ;
And so the stream of Time, that lingereth
Xa level places, and so dull appsars,
Rung with a swifter current as It nears
The gloomy mills of Heath.
And now, like the magician's scroll,
That in the owner's keeping shrinks
With every wish he speaks or thinks,
Till the last wish consumes tho whole,
The table dwindles, and again
I see the two alone romain.
The crown of stars is broken in parts ;
Its jewelB, bi ighter than the day.
Have one by one been stolen away
To Bhine in other homes and hearts.
One is a wanderer now afar '
Iu Ceylon or in Zanzibar,
Or sunny regions of Cathay ;
And one is in the boisterous camp,
'Mid clank of arms and horse's tramp,
And battle's terrible array.
I see the patient mother read,
With aching heart, of wrecks that float
Disabled on those seas remote,
Or of some great, heroic deed
On battle field, whore thousands bleed
To lift 0110 hero into fame.
Anxious she bends her graceful head
Above those chronicles of pain,
Aud trembles with a secret dread,
Lest there among the drowned or slain
She find the ono beloved namo.
After a day of cloud and wind aud rain
Sometimes the sotting sun breaks out again
And touching all tho darksome woods with
light,
Smiles on tho fields, until thoy laugh and
sing,
Then like a ruby from the horizon's ring
Drops down into the night.
What see I now ? The night is fair.
The storm of grief, the clouds of caro,
The wind, the rain, have passed away;
The lamps are lit, tho fires burn bright,
The house is full of life and light
It is the Golden Wedding day.
The guests come thronging in once more,
Quick footsteps sound along the floor,
The trooping children crowd the stair,
And in and out and everywhere
Flashes along tho corridor
The sunshine of thoir goldeu hair.
On the round tablo in the hall
Another Ariadne's Crown
Out of the sky hath fallen down ;
More thau one Monarch of the Moon
Is drumming with his silver spoon ;
The light of lovo shines over all.
O fortunato, O happy day !
Tho peoplo sing, tho people say.
Tho ancient bridegroom and the bride,
Serenely smiling on tho scene,
Behold well-pleated on every sido
Their forms an! features multiplied,
As tho reflection of a light.
AX UNTIMELY VISIT.
Half a century ago two brothers.
barefoot and sometimes ragged, were
growing up to big boyhood among
clams, eels and boats, in a poor little
usherman a hanilet on the shores of
Cape Cod.
The eldest, whom his sentimental
mother had named Clarence Ethelbert,
was full of enterprise and ambition.
tlis brother, whom the solemn father
had named Gideon, was nn amiable,
kind fellow, content to do anybody's
bidding as long as he had enough to
eat and nobody to scold him.
llio lirst weut into a ship-chandler s
store, in Boston, having walked ninety
miles to reach that city, and found n
place. Tho other remained at home,
perfectly satisfied, digging quohaugs,
spearing eels, aud carting seaweed.
When t key reached middle life the
eldest was living in an elegant mansion
near Central Park, in New York, with
his fashionable family, keeping a span
of horses, and a retimio of servants :
and Gideon, married to a well-meaning,
but course and illiterate woman, was in
tho poor cottage-home of his father, so
shy that he was almost afraid of his
kind brother who came yearly to visit
and aid him.
E. C. Bakerly, the rich Bhip-chaudler,
was no snob. Me acknowledged his
poor relatives, and helped them, and
had often invited bin brother end sister-
in-law to visit him. Gideon wanted to
go to New York, but couldn't get up
courage. Ho had heard of assassins
coming up behind peaceable citizens
and stubbing theiu iu the street, and
about hackmen driving strangers to
dungeons aud then robbing them ; so
he thought, in hia innocent heart, that
his brother was almost the only good
man in the great city.
But tho time camo when the ambi
tious Betsy resolved to go to New York
and seo for herself. So she told her
brother-in-law, while on his annual visit,
that sho "had decided, at last, to buy
herself a new black alpacy and a dress-
cap, bob his family would ut ba
ashamed of her, aud go on iu real New
York style about the hrst of Novem
ber." " The folks there may stare at
me, or laugh at me, but they won't eat
me, that s sartin, she added.
When the gentleman anuounced this
at home, the daughters laughed, and
resolved to make her visit as agreeable
as possible, sending her a black silk,
to replace "that abominable alpaca
the court dress of Yankee women !
Tho last week iu October, when the
house was in the hands of a caterer and
a decorutor, the following astounding
letter was received by the lady :
" Clam Harbor. Oct. 24.
" Dear Sister Cakwne. Gideon and
me has about changed our mines about
tho time of goin' to New York. We
have got ready sooner than we expected.
owiu to Miss Cap'iu Dilkins turnin'
and a helping of Desire Holmes with
my gouus. She bound all the ruffles
and fumididles, and so forth. So we
can come to-morrow just as well as not,
Gideon is iinpashiont to get home agin
on acoount of killing the hogs, so, less
providence forbids, you 11 see us to
morrow to tea.
" Exouse me writing with ptncil, as
Miss Cap'in Dilkins has borrowed our
pen aud ink to write to the Cap in.
He s to Bmyrny now.
" So no more at present,
From your afectionate sister,
Betsy.
" P. S. Desire had to bind the
flounces on my new silk with magenty
braid as there was no ribbon here."
The girls scolded, and the sensible
mother appeased them by saying that
their father would meet their uncle
and aunt at the cars and keep them at
a hotel till the party was over.
But the cars came In ten minutes be
fore thei time, and when Mr. Bakerly
reached the depot the passengers had
all disappeared. He rushed home,
hoping to meet them before they en
tered the house. But they had not ap
peared ; and the conclusion was that
they had missed the tram, and would
not arrive iu the city till the next day.
In this, however, the family were mis
taken. In a few minutes there came a
loud ring of the door-bell, and then
their ears were assailed by tho sharp
notes of an angry voice aimed at a hack
man, "I never heerd sich a swindle ! Don't
pay him a dollar and a half, Gidyon,
for fetchin us half a mile. Wo could
a' walked just as well; aud tho men-
folks could 'a' lugged up the trunk it
ain't a mite heavy 1 I'll have you took
up for robbery, sir, if you do keep a
carriage and two horses !"
As children and butcher-boys were
collecting on the sidewalk, tho lady of
the house slipped down stairs, put tho
money iu the hackman's hand and
smuggled her friends up stairs.
As there were men at work in the
kitchen, their supper was given them
quietly in a little side-room, and tho
tired travelers were sent early to bed,
without any remonstrances " on their
part.
Tho pair were put into au attio room
which was rarely slept in. This was
done not from disrespect, but because
the usual sleeping rooms for visitors
must be used until late in the night, by
the ladies who were among the guests
of the evening. Gideon and his wife,
however, were glad of any resting
place. They complained to each other
that " it was dreadful hot for the last
of October," blew out the gas-light, and
were soon lost to their new situation,
but not nutil Aunt Betsy had exclaimed
iu dreamy drawl :
' JNew lork s the nastiest smeilin
town I ever was in, and I wish I was
to home.
The guests had gathered and there
was a hum of merriment below, which
was suddenlv hushed by the appear
ance of two strange apparitions on the
stairs.
' Tableaux, tableaux!" cried an inno
cent youth, and in a moment everybody
was making lor the hall ana laughing
and exclaiming, "Darby and Joan,"
John Anderson, my Jo, John." and
like interpretations of the scene.
The geutlemau 01 the house elbowed
his way through the crowd just in time
to see his half-clad brother escape from
the gazo of his guests. But Aunt Betsy
stood her ground bravely, looking like
a fury ust risen from her grave, with
dishevelled locks, white robes and a
kerchief bound around her head.
" fin 1111 to vour room. I'm ashamed
of you," said her brother-in-law, in a
low tone.
"You haint no need to bo ashamed
of us, nor anybody else, of your own
folks here the poor woman was
seized with a terrifio lit of
coughing and strangling ; but
regaining her breath, she con
tinued : " We're your own flesh and
blood, if we haint rich ; and some of
the richest saloon-keepers and flsh-
dealers in this town or Boston, either,
has sprung from Cape " Cough
ing again silenced her angry boasts.
" What ails yon r asked the agitated
brother, as terrible sounds of stran
gling aud groaning were heard from
Uncle Gideon above.
"She's crazy, sir, and that old man
was trying to catch her," said one of
those officious men who think they see
at once the solution of every difficulty.
" Send for a policeman and have her
taken off, sir."
At this Aunt Betsv, who had now
seated herself, gave loose reins to her
tongue, and cried, amid her coughing
aud choking, " Gidyon and me has
caught some awful disease a ready in
this nasty teown, else we was pizened
with our supper I .1. don t be b Ueve
we'll ever see Clam Harbor og'in ! But
don't you dare to bury us here, where
these vjllanous ma renry doctors digs up
dead folks aud hanks 'em to pieces 1 O
dear, dear 1
The distressed host now changed his
tactics, remembering his brother's words
that " Betsy was one of them women
that could never be driv," and led her
gentry up 3tairs, his wife following
them.
No sooner had they opened the cham
ber door than they all joined in the
chorus of coughing. Tho gas had
been blown out 1 And the register, be
ing open, the heat, which had been
shut off from all the other rooms, had
made this one like a fiery furnace 1 But
even this did not account for the fright
ful inflammation which the kind sister-in-law
saw on the limbs of her agonized
visitors.
Uncle Gideon was jumping about
with remarkable vigor for one of his
years, swinging his hands and tryiug to
suppress his groans, as soon as all the
windows in both attics were thrown
open, Aunt Betsy gave vent to her woes
thus :
" We coughed and choked terrible :
but at last we got into bed. But all of
a suddent I was took with such a paiu
that I hollered out that somebody had
stuck an eel-spear into my leg, and was
stranglin' me beside. He begun to
1 pooh at me, when he was took with
the agony himself, and hollored as bad
as myself. We started to go down and
hunt you up, to get a doctor, and
guess we stirred up an awful mess
among them are high-dressed butter
flies I"
A sudden thought struck the lady of
tue house, ana throwing open the bed.
she discovered au unusual sight for
the city housekeeper a nest 01 wasps
that had taken possession of one corner
of the unused bedstead, a savage squat
ter sovereignty that had opened fire on
the poor strangers.
As they could have no other room till
the guests were gone. Aunt Betsv do
clared that they would sit up till then,
ratuer than risk this one again
"Why," she exclaimed, "heow do
know but the fiery sarpints that bit the
children of Ezr'el may be hid up in that
bed? I've heard before to-day that
city folks wasn't over particular what
got into their beds, but I didn't know
they harbored wasps there I"
The rough old pair slept one night
under damask drapery, and then they
set off for home. No argument, no
persuasion could induce them to pass
another night in such an awful city I
The kind-hearted brother soothed
their spirits by the gift of flvo hundred
dollars to his brother, and the watch
his wife had just laid aside to Aunt
Betsy. So the honest pair set off on a
triumphal march capoward. Thoir
treasures set them up on a pinnaclo of
glory at Clam Harbor, where gold
watches and ready money were scarce.
The thing passed off at Clam Harbor
as a remarkable instance of the love of
home, or rather of the power of home
sickness ; and in the circled gay friends
in New York as the breaking loose of
a derauged relative, who was tho next
day quietly returned to the asylum I
Thus does fortune often play cruel
pranks in separating those who in
childhood played beneath the same
green tree. Youth's Companion,
How They Make Ice in India.
In the warm countries of Europe ice
is manufactured by the use" of ether,
but this would be a very costly process
in India, and would place it entirely
out of the reach of the mass of the peo
ple. Their own method for manufac
turing ice, although a slow one, is very
simple, and costs nothing.
They have discovered by observation
what we are taught in natural philoso
phy, that during the day the earth ab
sorbs heat, and during the night it
gives it out or, to speak more proper
ly, radiates heat.
This is much more noticeable in trop
ical than in temperate countries. They
know also by experience that, in order
to enjoy the coolness of night, they
must avoid the shade of trees, and lie
out in the open places. The reason of
this, perhaps, they do not know, which
is that the branches of the trees inter
fere with this radiation. Without rea
soning on these facts, tho East In
dian acts upon them, and uses his
knowledge of them in manufacturing
ice.
Iu an open space, where there arc no
trees, parallel ditches are dug in the
ground three or four feet deep. These
are half filled with straw, aud nets are
stretched over them. On these nets
are placed small saucers, holding
about a wiuo-glass of water. Thero is
nothing more to be done but to wait
for a clear, starry, and perfectly calm
night.
When such a night arrives, the little
saucers are filled with water in the even
ing, which water by 4 o'clock in the
morning is found to be covered with a
thin coating of ice I These cakes of
ice are very small, it, is true, but when
they are all thrown together into the
ice-houses under tho ground, thoy
form themselves into masses of quite
a respectable size. Iu these primitive
ice-houses the ice keeps lor ssiine time.
Th straw is placed in the ditches be
cause it is a bad conductor of heat, and
by its means the sancers of water are
separated from the ground, and receive
little or no heat from it. The water,
therefore, gives out more heat than it
receives, so that its temperature is
continually lowered until it reaches the
freezing point, when it, 01 course, be
comes ice.
The ice is more or less mixed with
bits of straw and with dust. It cannot
be used to put into liquids, but placed
around them makes them delightfully
cool and refreshing, and we can weJi
imagine what a luxury it must be in
this torrid region.
Another Bohemian Girl.
Tho watering season at Newport
closes with a sensation, which may
serve as the basis of such another opera
as " Tho Bohemian Girl." A strolling
baud of Indians were encamped upon
tho beach, having in their company a
little white girl named Charlotte
Wyeth. Suddenly the girl disappeared,
and all the oottagers who had become
interested in her were surprised. The
disappearance was explained tho other
day, when an officer on board a bound
steamer bound to .Providence recog
nized the waif in charge of a lady who
stated she was taking her, at the re
quest of Mr. Edward Walsh, of New
port, to a lady in Providence, who had
promised to take care of her. The
child was detained, aud Mr. Walbh was
takeu into custody. He explained that
in visiting the beach he had become in
terosted m the child : thut he found
her barbarously treated by the Indians ;
and learning that she had been stolen
by them and was willing and anxious
to accept of his protection, he had de
terminod to adopt and provide for her
until he should find her natural
guardians. The disinterested and hon
orable motives of Walsh were so ap
parent that he was discharged, but the
bumptious City Marshal, thiuking
doubtless that some reward would be
offered for tho child, has refused to aL
low her to remain in Walsh's custody,
The youug man is thoroughly interested
in the waif, and is enthusiastically en
gaged in the endeavor to learn some
thing of her parents.
Pies an' Things.
In New York city there is one coil'
cern that does nothing but bake pies,
or, as the boys call them, "pies au
things." The buildings cover six aud
a half city lots, and the stables have
accommodations for fifty horses,
Thirty-seven large wagons are employed
to deliver tho pies turned out aaily,
and one hundred and twenty persons
are employed all the year round. It
has au enormous boiler, in which some'
times five hundred pumpkins per day
are reduoed to jelly, by steam 01 course,
Near it are two bteam mincing ma
chines, capable of slicing up a fabulous
auantitv of fruits. A littlo further on
is a row of immense brass kettles full
of steaming berries, which two men
are stirring with gieat ladles. Iu the
further end of the room women are
seated in groups on the floor by heaps
of fruit, which they are sorting and
cleaning. Eighty bushels of berries a
day is the average consumption, 10U
barrels of flour a week are used
making the pies, and they use up 8,000
pouuds of lard, 1,560 quarts of milk,
and 6,000 eggs,
grasshoppers ix Colorado.
Method ot Their Rnrnfres-The Bill of
Fare Which They Prefer.
So soon as we had abundance of
water, says N. C. Meeker, writing to
the Tribune from Greeley, grasshoppers
came again and alighted' in patches of a
few millions each in our wheat fields.
The bulk of tho grain was too far ad
vanced to be injured, and they only ate
off the blades, so that when cut the
stalks were slippery. Late wheat was
badly injured, and oats were in many
places destroyed. They visited the
whole of Colorado at the same time,
but only iu groups, though in larger
ones close to the mountains, and they
attacked the oats at such a critical
time as to make the crop everywhere
short aud good seed scarce next spring.
Of all the crops there is none which the
grasshoppers love better than oats, nn-
ss it be onions. In aijont a week they
all left, when the wheat was harvested
and hopes were high, but in less than
ten days another gang came, and they
undertook to finish the oats. Machines
were put iu immediately, when they at
tacked the corn, of which we had a
urge breadth exceedingly promising.
After working at it a few days they
seemed to have received orders to start
on their travels, and they all took wing,
and everybody rejoiced again. But
about noon one day the sight began to
fade a little, and on looking up the
grasshoppers vero seen some COO feet
high, millions And millions, going
southeast, whioh made us pity those
whom they would visit ; but soon a
small portion came down, and as in a
twinkling they covered gardens and
fields, though they were not what we
called thick. The next day as many
more came, and we had them good, if
that is the word, or bad, if one likes it
bettor. They were tired, and in need
of rest, which they took ; but next
morning bright and early, notwith
standing it was Sunday, they went to
work in earnest. I thought I had seen
them thick before, and that I knew
something about them, but they were a
new revelation this time.
They worked expeditiously all
through tho valley, aud those who had
cabbage patches of a few hundred head
at breakfast, had none when the bell
rang for church ; celery disappeared,
and the currant and gooseberry bushes
looked as though there had been a
heavy frost. Before night much of the
sweet corn was gone, aud the whole
stock of the women's flowers, verbenas,
gladiolas, pinks, and the like were
wiped away. Still some things they
did not touch, and among these were
roses aud phlox. Beets in the field
were riddled, and pie-plant was eaten
in part by the acre, however poisonous
Solon Robinson's axalie acid in it may
be. By Tuesday they had made such
headway in cornfields that all who
could cut it aud put it in stocks, and
even then they kept chewing so badly
that one man hauled his into the barn.
Twenty or thirty grasshoppers, or as
many as could get around, would attack
au ear and gnaw deep among the husks.
If the corn had been planted by tho
middle of May it was well glazed and
they could do little more damage than
eat off the blades ; if in the milk they
ate it is as readily as hogs would. The
leaves of apple and pear trees disap
peared, but those of cherries, plums,
aud peaches they did not touch, nor
did they interfere with strawberiea or
blackberries, but raspberry bushes
were made desolate. Meanwhile they
delighted to get into the housc.especially
luto t'ie parlor, and took a lancy to
lace curtains. When night came, all
who could got into the trees to roost, I
have cotton woods, ash, maple and
other trees, from 10 to 20 feet high,
with limbs from an inch to two luches
in jdiameter, in all over 100 around
tho house, aud so many grasshoppers
were on these trees that tho branches
bent down from 10 to 15 inches. Of
course, the prospects were dark, for wo
expected them to stay and lay eggs
which would hatch next spring, How
ever, it was noticed on Wednesday that
they were not quite so thick : on Thurs
day there were certainly fewer, and
they continued to leave gradually. I
have stated what they would eat and
what they would not, but our experi
ence iu a former visitation was to the
effect that if they stay a few weeks there
is nothing green they will not devour,
They will etcn get into ripe Hubbard
squashes and luto watermelons and de
stroy them.
From Luxury to Poverty.
The Loudon Saturday Jlcview, speak
ing of tho proposed transformation of
Soho square, London, says : " It is
just 100 year since tho fortunes of Mrs.
Theresa (Jornleys began to decline; and
with them the glories of Soho square.
Who remembers her now ? let she was
once a central figure in the fashionable
world of London. Her house, now a
pickle shop, was crowded with princes,
nobles, and fine ladies. Her ball-room,
now a Romanist chapel, was the head
quarters of extravagance and gorgeous
appar 1. It was at one of her mas
querades that the beautiful daughter
of a peer wore tho costume of an In
dian princess, three black girls bearing
her train, a canopy held over her head
by two negro boys, and her dress cov
ered with jewels worth 100,000. It
was at another that Adam, in flesh-colored
tights aud an apron of fig-leaves,
was to be seen in company with the
DuuhesB of Bolton as Diana. Death,
iu a white shroud, bearing his own cof
fin and epitaph ; Lady Augusta Stuart
as a vestal ; the Duke of Gloucester, in
im old Euglish habit, with a star on his
cloak : and tho Duke of Devonshire,
who was very fiue, but in no particular
charaoter ' all these and others passed
through her rooms : yet before many
years had gone by she was selling asses'
milk at Kuightsbridge, and in 1797 she
died ia the Kleet Prison, forming
schemes to the very last for retrieving
her broken fortunes.
" It is a standing rule in my church,"
said one clergyman to another, "for
the sexton to wake up any man that he
may see asleep." " I think," returned
in 1 the other, " that it would be much bet
ter for the sexton, whenever a man goes
to sleep under your preaching, to wake
you up.
Letter Writing,
Letter-writing is no longer an accom
plishment. It has even ceased to be a
pastime. It has sunk of late iuto a
foolish habit whioh the discovery of the
lithographic processos has made abso
lutely dangerous. The shrewd man
keeps his thoughts to himself or reveals
them only in words which cannot be
photographed. In setting down his se
cret feelings for the eye of one, tho
writer can never be sure, nowadays,
that his letter may not some day be
spread with all its crooks and dashes
and blots before the eyes of thousands
for whom it was not intended. If it
contains disclosures of guilt, how ugly
they look in all their nakedness. If it
gives merely tho overwrought expres
sions of an excited roan, how suspicious
a littlo skillful construction can make
them. You write to a mutual friend
that your speech the night before " set
the house on firo." Years afterward he
beoomes a mutual friend only on one
side and prints your letter with proper
omissions ; and you find yourself com
pelled to prove that you never commit
ted the crime of arson 1 Or perhaps
you did confess some fault or sin, aud
now that private letters have ceased to
be private property, you do not know
at what hour you may become the
piey of the printers. The old politi
cian, who is a tradition in the West,
who would never write his namo on a
card for fear of committing himself to
something, and who would always
rather walk a day's journey than write
a note, has his like in many a lobbyist
who goes to Albany or Washington at
considerable expense to say what could
be less safely said by the aid of a three
cent stamp. But sometimes the men
with bad reputations aro as careless as
those with good.
Veteran Jokers.
The Duke' of Wellington and Lord
Brougham were utterly unlike in tem
perament and tastes, and used to say
sharp things to each other, though
with perfect courtesy and good nature.
Hero is a specimen of their method of
joking :
Liord .brougham, who invented the
vehicle now known by his name, was
met in the House of Lords by the Duke
of Wellington, who, accosting him with
a low bow, said
" I have always been under tho im
pression that your lordship would go
down to posterity as the great apostle
of education, tho emancipator of the
negro, the restorer of abused charities,
the reformer of the law. 15ut no you
you will hereafter be known only as tho
inventor of a carriage."
To this Brougham replied by reciting
those things by which he had imagined
the Duke would be remembered, add
ing " But no your Orace will be known
as the inventor of a pair of boots."
Tho Duke was defeated and made a
strong remark about having forgotten
the boots.
A Funeral Extraordinary,
Tho Pall Mall Gazette says : " A
most successful funeral in which
woman played an important part took
placo at Padua in 1518, and, indeed, in
somo respects, the arrangements ot this
funeral were in all ways less depressing
than the run of ordinary burials. An
eminent lawyer, by name Lodovich
Cartnsius, who died in July of that
year, before his death strictly forbade
his relations to shed any tears at his
funeral, and enforced this order on his
heir by a heavy penalty in case of diso
bedience. He further directed that
fiddlers should take the place of mourn
ers on the sad occasion, and that twelve
maids in green habits should carry his
remains to the Church of he. Sophia,
where ho was buried, the ceremony to
be enlivened by songs from these ladies,
who were to be recompensed for the
service by a handsome sum of money
allotted for their marriage portions.
The monks of tho convent at Padua,
who wero invited to the funeral, were
on no account to wear black habits,
lest they should throw a gloom over
tho cheerfulness of tho procession."
Waste of Men. Guns and Powder.
The Ordnance Department reports the
following facts as to the miserable
gunnery practiced iu war :
" Ol the i!7,o74 muskets picked up
ou the battieheid at uettysourg ana
turned into the Washington Arsenal, at
least 24,000 wero loaded. About one
half of this number contained two
cartridges each, one-fourth contained
from three to ten charges each, aud the
balance one charge. The largest num
ber of cartridges found iu any one piece
was twenty-three. In some cases the
paper of the cartridges was unbroken,
and in others tho powder was upper
most."
It is seen that the effective fire of tho
combatants was practically reduced by
18,000 men, for 18,000 muskets were
useless, those who held them were of
course " paralyzed." Or, to put it an
other wav. 18,000 men in their confU'
sion improperly loaded their muskets
and thus rendered themselves almost
useless as combatants, and probably
many of them were shot down with
out inflicting any injury on their op
ponents.
Something of a Mistake.
The Morninri Araus. says Max
Adeler, is a Democratic paper ; and the
other day tho editor clipped from a
Republican sheet a long story about a
frightful accident somewhere, ana gave
it to the foreman to put in the Argus.
It so happened that the other side of
the cupping contained a snorting eai
torial in which the Democratic party
was fiercely denounoed and Grants
claim to a third term strongly insisted
upon. Of course the foreman gave the
clipping out with that side up, and the
A, 3 1 L. a a m 3 i w 4 Via no v AM
nsil uay it nppeareu iu 1 jjujjci,
looking exactly as if it was an original
editorial from the pen 01 me eaitor.
That very afternoon the sheriff with
drew his advertising and four hundred
advertisers gave up the paper ; and now
the editor wants to know how long
capitalists are to suffer from the in
fernal tyranny of labor. The foreman
ean't answer, for he has fled.
Items of Interest.
There is a young man in Ixonia, Jef
ferson county, Wisconsin, who is
eighteen years old, twenty-seven inches
in height, and weighs only nineteen aud
one-quarter pounds when fat. His
name is John M. Lewis.
A young lady entered a Troy music
store, recently, and, approaching tho
clerk, said : " Still I Love Thee." He
replied: "We haven't it." "I Can
not Love Another," said she, aud re
ceiving a similar answer, lolt the
store.
At a dinner recently given by a Rus
sian lady in London, the table was en
tirely covered with moss, and the only
evidence of a white tablecloth was seen
in that portion which hangs at the sides
of tho table. Flowers were profusely
introduced, and the effect was alto
gether unique.
Happy thought That of the fashion
able school teacher who, when asked
by a pupil, " Who is the present King
of Switzerland?" said, "This is not the
hour, you know, when talking is per
mitted. Ask me at tho next session
and I will tell you," and then rushed
for the bookcase.
Always acknowledge all courtesies iu
a kindly spirit. Throw a bouquet and
a card of thanks to a sereuading party,
if not prepared to invito them in. If
you haven't a bouquet or a card at
hand, throw a bootjack, or a brick, or
anything of that sort, just to show your
appreciation of tho kindness intended.
Cremation does not meet with favor
iu British Columbia. The Chinese
have been cremating their dead at n
cemetery near Victoria, and the Inspec
tor of Police reported to the City Coun
cil that tho nuisance had become most
offensive to the residents in the neigh
borhood. The Council took no action.
A New Brunswick jury recently dis
tinguished itself after having been
charged to find the value of 20,000
bricks at $15 per 1,000 by bringing in a
verdict of $294,000 for the plaintiff.
After being sent back they corrected
their blunder, and the Judge said that
he had groat pleasure in dismissing
them.
A shower of whito toads took
place in Larimer county, Col. The
siiower embraced a strip of country
half a mile wide and several miies in
length. From a distance the frogs, ns
they bounced along the ground, looked
for all the world like hailstones. After
the storm the frocs hopped fabout over
the country in droves of ton thousand.
Haw to swallow a pill is thus stated
by a correspondent : " Put the pill un
der the tongue and behind tho teeth,
and let the patient immediately take a
large swallow of water, and he will
neither leel the put nor taste u. in.
fact, he cannot tell where it has gone,
and I have seen them look about the
floor to seo if they had not dropped it."
The Newburyport Herald says an
amusing feature 01 the ciam-oane at
Salisbury Beach was the spectacle of a
young lady and gentleman wuo Hun
gered for the snen-nsn. xua iuuy
hardly wished to soil her kids, aud so
while she held her mouth opentuo gen
tleman put iu the clams and threw away
the head after her incisors had decapi
tated the fish.
That Monument Again.
Once more, says an exchange, by a
spasmodic effort to raise money to com
plete the Washington obelisk, that
monumental laiiure is Drought ueiore
the public attention. The whole subject
was carefully discussed last spring,
when a Congressional committee rec
ommended that an appropriation be
made to finish the work. This unhappy
pile of stones has been too long a butt
for the wits of the nation. The original
scheme is older than the Government
itself, but it was not until 1818, after a
series of experiments and failures, that
work was actually begun. The wasn
ington Monumental Society then under
took the task of raising the money aud
building the monument. In about six
years, when 230,000 had been spont
and the pile had reacnea tue ueigui. ui
170 feet, the money gave out and tho
obelish was arresred in its growth.
Since that timef by dint of much beg
ging and dunning, four feet have been
added to the work ; and thero it stands
an unfinished monument. An examin
ation showed that it had suffered some
what by its long neglect, and on account
of the insecurity of its foundation. At
ono time it looked as if ithe work must
bo taken down and rebuilt, or aban
doned altogether. But it is now under
stood that the money aud labor already
expended can be saved by somewhat
changing the original plan.
Why Buffalos Disappear,
Somebody has revived the stories told
by Jas. Bridger, who is, next to Kit
Carson, the pioneer trapper of all that
section of the country. Ouo of his
favorito stories was, that in the year
1820 he was wintering in Salt Lake
Valley, when it commenced to snow,
and continued seventy successive days,
till a depth of seventy feet was obtained.
The country at that time abounded in
bnffalo and other large game, all of
which, perished inthe snow. The lakes
and rivers the following spring were so
full ot dead game, pieserved iu good
condition in the cold, that he was able
to stow np a large stock of meat for the
next winter s supply, using the brine
of Salt Lake for the purpose. He con
cludes this tale by declaring that since
that storm no buffalo had ever been
seen west of the Rocky Mountains.
He was. also fond of declaring that
Bridgor'B Butte, a table mountain
named after him, had " steered
around" to the North since he saw it,
and that he had told General Johnson
so, who, after consulting his text books,
acknowledged that he was right.
Denver Col.) News,
Thk Calendab. This is the way the
people who live on the coast of Maine
describe their weather :
Dirty days hath September,
April, June, aud November;
From January up to May,
The rain it raineth every day.
All the rest have thirty-one,
Without a blessed gleam of son ;1
And if any ot them had two and thirty
They'd be iut as wet and twiee m dirty.