NIIj desperandum.
VOL. IV.
1UDGWAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THUHSDAY, MAECH 12, 1874.
NO.
HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher.
Litt Him Up.
Lying bo low in the Riilter,
Degraded and black with Bin,
With garments .t att ered and filthy j
More shattered and foul within.
His face has grown ugly and brutal,
And lout Is each trace divine ;
The reign of his passions has made him
Companion alone for the swine.
" Ho is too far gone," thoy tell us,
All they who paps him by j
Impossible now to reach him,"
Ho he is left to Bink and die.
He was once " somebody's darling,"
That man so degraded and vile,
And the heart of some one that loved him
Was onco mado glad by his smile.
Those lips thnt now breathe but oni'Blug,
A mother's kiss once pressed,
And that hair, once soft and golden,
A sister's hand caressed.
Those eyes, now blear and soulless,
Once lighted with lovo's bright glow,
And the fire of the soul within them
Burned with thoughts that augels knew.
Lot your tear drops fall, of pity.
Upon thodc darkened leavos,
Itcsting here" I'oHsible all things,"
All, " to him that behoves."
Friends of Temperance, this is your mission;
Strong iu Lovo's power to save,
With a sympathy earnest, untiring,
Go, bring him up from the grave !
'WALKING THE PLASH."
The history of the West is one long
record of bloody ond atrocious deeds.
Not the least iu tho dark and intermi
nable catalogue is tho little event wo
are now nbont to lay before our kind
readers. We heard the story from the
hps of one who professed and we had
no reason to doubt his word to have
plaved a prominent part in tho occur
rence, and we give it to the reader just
as we heard it.
Some rears ago, said the narrator,
n, friend aud myself agreed to take a
trnmp, hunter fashion, through the
great wilderness of the Northwest,
Having provided ourselves with what
things we thought actually necessary.
.and nothing mere, we started upon our
perilous journey; for that it was per
lions v,o were fully aware, and every
reader will admit.
After encountering innumerable
hardships aud many dangers, we found
ourselves in the wildest kind ot a re
j?ion, many miles distant from the
haunts of civilization. Already we had
passed through enough to have dis
couraged most of men, but we were
young and full of blood, and not easily
put out or IrigUtened. This was par
ticularly the case with my companion,
whose name was Andrew mm.
Both of us were perfectly healthy, as
strong as iron, and considerably ex
perienced in the use of such articles as
rifles, pistols and bowie knives. In all
these respects wo could hold our own
with the best; had it been otherwise,
we should never have lived to reach
the point at which we finally arrived.
Just about dark one evening in the
latter part of July, after a hard day's
tramp, we halted for the night. A
darker, deeper, lonelier solitude than
that which surrounded us, it would be
hard to imagine. Silently we built a
little fire and supper; 'silently we ate it.
Worn out, and for the time being slight
ly dispirited, wo were in no humor for
conversation.
For sometime we sat by our camp
fire without uttering a single word, and
almost without moving. I was thinking
of home and absent friends, and it is
only reasonable to suppose that Huff
was similarly occupied.
After the elapse of some time, our
fire burnt low, and I arose to replenish
it. Tho bark of a wolf startled me, and
I involuntarily addressed my compan
ion. Huff did not answer me, however, but
without noticing the circumstance, I
threw a quantity of faggotson the fire,
and addressed him.
" Take a few hours' rest, Andy, and
I'll keep watch," 6aid I, "and after that
you can do the same by me."
Still I got no answer, and then I be
gan to notice my companion's unusual
taciturnity.
"Anything the matter, Andy ?" said
I, regarding him closely.
No answer again.
' " That's a little strange," I muttered,
moving over toward my companion.
Huff was sitting facing the fire, with
his head bent upon his knees. I shook
him without arousing him. Finally,
I raised his head, and at one9 became
conscious that he was soundly, deeply
. asleep.
Laughing off the fears which had for
a few moments oppressed me, I left
Huff to enjoy his nap, and settled my
self down as comfortably ap the circum
stances would permit.
. I was dreadful drowsy, and despite
our perilous situation, despite every
effort I made to the contrary, I could
not entirely resist the overpowering in
fluence of sleep. Occasionally I started
up suddenly, and found that I had
been dozing. The last time I was
aroused, I was awoke by the bark of a
wwlf. Jumping to my feet, I beheld the
fierce animal not a dozen paces distant,
his ravenous eyes glaring upon mo
from the darkness. Seizing up a brand,
I flung it at the rapacious monster with
all my strength. It struck him full in
the face, and with a terrible howl he
darted off into the forest. Huff did not
awake, did not even stir, so sound was
his repose.
After that I did not feel "much in
clined to (deep, though nothing more
was to be seen or heard. I examined
my rifle aud pistols, piled more faggots
on the fire, and kept on the move, my
eyes and ears open for any more noc
turnal visitors.
Some time passed quietly, and I be
gan to grow insufferably weary. Every
muscle relaxed, and a drowsy torpor
gradually stole over me. My eyes closed
unconsciously my knees bent beneath
me, and I was about dropping to the
ground, when I was suddenly aroused
by the sound of a man's voice:
"Hello, fellers, how d'yer dol" were
the words which fell upon my ears, and
aroused ma to consciousness.
I looked around in bewilderment.
Our little camping ground was enoiroled
by a dozen or more brawny, fierce look
ing desperadoes. i.e was a complete
surprise, and on the spur of the moment
I yelled aloud:
"Andy, Andy, wake up 1
"Yes," wake up, Andy 1" echoed the
outlaws derisively.
Aroused at last, my comrade sprang
to his feet, and the next moment was
standing by my side.
Instantly a dozen rifles were leveled
at us with deadly aim.
" Yer ain't goin' to show fight, are
ye?" demanded one of the outlaws, a
brutal looking wretch, and the leader
of the band.
" That depends on circumstances 1"
responded Andy, unhesitatingly.
" We're two good men, afraid of neither
man or beast and if your intentions
are hostile, as they appear to be, you
may take my word for it that we'll give
you nil the trouble we can."
"You won't now, will yer?" re
joined the desperado, tauntingly.
" Guess yo'll have yer hands full ef yer
try that sort uv a game."
" Well, what do you want here, any
how ?" I demanded boldly, fully satis
fied in my own mind that if we got out
of our present scrape we had to fight it
out.
" What do we want liar ?" was tho
rapid reply. " I guess the forest's ns
free to us as it is to any one else.
Don't kalkelate that you're boss here,
stranger, do yer ?"
"No," was Andy's quick reply, and
he took the words out of my mouth,
" nor are you I" But that's not to the
point," he added, what do you want
with us?"
"Yer money an' yer traps 1 Under
stand that sort o' talk, don't yer ?"
" Yep, we understand that you're a
gang of thieves aud cut throats," re
sponded Andy, fieicely ; " but if you
get anything from us you've got to fight
for it, though we are but two against a
dozen. Give 'em a shot, comrade !"
added the fiery fellow, addressing him
self to me. " We can't make the mat
ter worse."
I thought so too, and raising my
rifle, Andy and myself fired simultane
ously. Immediately two of the outlaws fell
dead to the ground, and the rest uttered
a concerted yell, that sounded more
fearfully than the howl of the wolf I
had co recently driven away.
"Now, give 'em the pistols !" shouted
Andy, his whole soul in the deadly
conflict.
Each of us carried a brace of double
barreled pistols, which gave us eight
shots between us, and quick as light
ning we were discharging the loads in
tho faces of the outlaws. Six more of
the brigands fell before our aim, while
we remained uninjured, noth withstand
ing a number of scattering shots
whistled around our ears and over our
heads.
" Now charge upon the thieves!"
veiled Andy, in stentorian tones.
I followed my comrade's lead, and
together we charged upon the remain
ing five outlaws, for that number were
lelt. A herce and bloody light ensued
Andy performed miracles, and I did
double duty ; but as fate would have it
we were both rendered hors du combat.
my comrade by a pistol wound in his
side, and I by a bowie cut in the right
shoulder.
I knew nothing more after that, for
the next moment 1 became unconscious,
When I came to myself, I found I was
in a cave, and it was not long betore 1
discovered that the cave was the haunt
of the robbers. Thi3 much I learned
by listening, for I could see nothing,
the bright light of day seemed never to
penetrate that dismal cavern, it was
the gloomiest, chilliest place I was ever
in, and from the bottom of my heart I
wished myself well out of it.
I thought of Andy, yon may be sure,
but could see no way of finding out
what had become of him.
After a while, 'however, an old and
outrageously ugly Indian squaw made
her appearance. She brought me food
and medicine, and temporary light.
Mv wounds had already been dressed,
Of course I was eager to question her.
"My good woman, said I, very pleas
antly, " I should like to know where I
am win you ten me ?
She shook her head negatively, and
to all I could say or do L got no other
answer. I inquired about Andy, ond
other matters, but received no satisfac
tion. Finally, I gave up in despair, and
let the old hag go.
A week passed, and 1 was compara
tively well. About the expiration of
that time, the old squaw came to me
one day and beckoned me to follow her.
Having no reason to refuse obedience, I
complied with her directions, and after
traversing a number of dark passages
found myself in the open air. It was a
bright, sunny morning, and despite my
situation I inhaled the pure atmosphere
with delight.
Assembled on the spot I beheld
gang of a score or more of the worst
looking men I had ever encountered,
and in the midst my friend and com
rade, Andrew Huff. Andy looked fright
fully pale and emaciated, and appeared
to have sunered much more than myself,
We had barely time to greet each other,
and say. " God ble6s you, comrade 1"
when we were suddenly and roughly
seized and gagged. At the same time
one of the outlaws, whom I at once
recognized as the leader of the party
which we had first encountered, stepped
forward and addressed us:
" Now, cuss yer 1" cried ho, passion
ately, " we'll make you pay for your
handywork t other night. Strip em r
In a few moments we were stripped
to the skin, and we had neither the
Dower to resist or expostulate.
We were separately lad to the brink
of a chasm near, and made to look down
into the almost unfathomable depths,
A stream of water dashed over the
rocks at the bottom. It made me dizzy
to look down. We were then stationed
a few feet from the brink, with a guard
over us. I began to comprehend that
some frightful death awaited us, and
my feelings' were dreadful.
A plank about a dozen feet long and
a foot wide was then brought forward
ana placed half way over the precipice,
nriii- 1 i i n - . if
iu,y uioou ran com at me prepuruuons,
.un one end of the pianit two men
stationed themselves.
Now. drive the chaD forward !
ihouted the leader, pointing to Andy.
" T'other fellow shall see him drop, an'
then he follows arter him. Drive him
on thar, bosses 1"
livery ellort was made to move Andy.
but tho poor follow continued obstinate.
The outlaws pricked him with their
knives, and beat him with their rifles,
but he refused to stir.
" Carry the man !" shouted the lead
er, madly.
Despite his struggles. Andy was
picked up and carried to the plank. As
the outlaws let him down they gave him
a violent push which sent him forward
to the end oi the plunk. Andy swayed
from side to side, and struggled wildly
to regain his balance. He failed, how
ever, and fell over, in his fall desper
ately clutching the plank. There he
held with his hnger nails buried in the
wood. It was a horrid scene, ond my
blood runs cold at the bare recollection
of it.
" Let him go !" shouted the fiendish
leader.
The men who were standing on the
other end of the plank jumped off, and
plank and Andy whirled down into the
seething depths below. .Despite the
gag in his mouth, the poor fellow ut
tered a loud and terrifying shriek be
fore he disappeared from sight forever.
The cry rings in my ears now. though
years have passed since then. I shall
never forget it.
The outlaws sprang to the edge of
the cliff, and with a savage exultation
watched Andy's descent.
" .Now fur t other one 1 shouted
the leader, after the lapse of a few min
utes. At that instant a loud report of fire
arms suddenly reverberated far and
near, and half of -tho bandits, at least,
fell dead to the earth. The balls
whistled around me as thick as hail, but
I escaped unhurt. Instantly afterward
a party of trappers rushed upon the
scene and charged' at the outlaws. The
hgtit was short but desperate. In the
end not an outlaw of them all remained,
alive, though they fought like incar
nate devils.
In the first moments of the melee I
got away out of the reach of harm. Pin
ioned and gagged, I would have been
of no use to myself or anybody. After
the conflict was over I made my appear
ance and gavo a statement of all that
had transpired. From the trappers I
learned that tho cry of Andy had di
rected them to the spot; but, poor fel
low, they came too late to save him. I
thanked God and the mountaineers for
my own preservation, and quitted the
scene with a sense of relief mingled
with a feeling of sadness.
Gentlemen, that was about the worst
situation I was ever placed in, and may
you never have a similar experience.
Starvation vs. " The Ruling Passion."
An observer among the English fac
tory girls describes their dinner hour
amusingly : The crowds had assem
bled outside of a certain cheap cook
shop in the-half hour allowed for din-
ner. Among the girls was ono ragged,
scantily clothed child of about fourteen,
She stood for a long time wistfully be
fore the cook shop window. All the
others had gone, and this forlorn ob
ject still Btood there rattling a few half
pence in her hand. Finally, with i
longing look at the luscious display, she
paused lor a last snm at the open door,
and then dashed on down the street,
The observer followed, thinking that
she was seeking a cheaper cook shop,
and pitying her, But she stopped at a
store where second hand finery was for
sale, entered, and in a few moments re
turned with a somewhat faded but still
gorgeous bunch of artificial flowers
consisting of a rose full blown, a poppy
or two una a lair sprinkling of wheat.
With a glow of triumph on her wizened
face, she cast an eager glance to the
right and left, and spying close at hand
the secluded gateway of a timber yard
darted across the road, and crouching
in a corner, was soon busy with her bat
tered old hat on her knees retrimming
it.
Women Servants for California.
The following statements are made in
a telegram from San Jose, Cal. : " The
Farmers' Club has received advices
from North Carolina to the effect that
an immigration from that State to Cali
fornia of young women for household
service can be secured by the formation
of aid societies, to be composed of fan
ilies desiring better help; the society to
advance the passage money, and be re
sponsible for representations going to
induce the immigration. On the other
hand, the society is to bo secured in the
matter ot good character and capacity
oi au women sent out under tho ar
rangement. It appears that a strong
disposition exists in the CJarolinas
Missouri and other States, and only
waits a practical business treatment
from parties concerned on this coast.
The plan, as mooted in the Farmers'
Club, looks to securing faithful and
honest servant girls, and thus bettering
the condition ot both hirer and hired
turmsning the former better service
and the latter better wages for equal
labor. This matter is in the hands of
the Emigration Committee, who, if en
couragea by responsible citizens, may
uo auie to woik out a grand scheme.
Different Sow.
The boys don't do things now as they
did when Noah Webster was making
spelling books. An old man near
Pleasantville, the other day, found a
rude boy posting Lydia Thompson bills
all over his door-yard fence, and de
sired him to desist; but the young
sauce-box told him plainly he would
not, and slapped up another naughty
pioture.
"You won't?" said the old man;
"then I will fetch you down." So he
pulled out a horse-pistol and shot sev
eral times at him but this only made
the youngster laugh, for the old man
was cross-eyed and could not hit a barn
door.
' Well," said. the old man, if "neither
words nor horse-pistols will do, I must
try what virtue there is in nitro-glyoer-iue."
So that old man pulled out a
two-quart can of torpedo mixture, and
exploded it under the chap, who oooly
whistled " If Ever I Ceased to Love,"
while the old man went soaring into the
iky like a kite,
Two Clly Lives.
X Tale which has if. own 'Moral and It
full ot lloinnnUo Interest.
The son of a Long Island farmer
grew up in the great City of New York.
He had a busy, live intelligence, and he
was attracted to the world's arena in
stinctively. He would not be a farmer;
he would be a great man a man of
business. He served as office boy in
various localities, ne did not stay long
in a place ; he was smart too smart.
Ho was what business men call a fast
boy and clergymen a bad boy. His
acute intellect, unguided, had turned
into dangerous paths, following the
lead of emotion aud instinct. We live
in two worlds the steady, strong un
dercurrent of hard facts and stern work
and struggles, and the lighter, super
ficial current of pleasure, of ideals, of
amusement, passion, excitement. It
was toward this world that as ho grew
older he gravitated. Ho hated disci
pline and liked freedom. He became
commercial traveler, and then theatrical
agent, and then gambler ; he tried the
manufacture of whisky, kept a faro
bank, was treasurer of a circus. He
was bound to mako a living by his wits.
He was like all the rest of us he wanted
to make money without work.
It is not just to say he was a bad
young man, either ; lie had the reputa
tion of being a capital fellow. He was
only one of the types now so common
in American cities ; of a quick mind
that shrinks from thnt trhich is hard
and diflioult, cultivating the feeling
only, living a dashing, "liberal" life.
His permanent occupation at last be
came that of the master gambler one
who gets money by playing upon the
passions of his fellows instead of upon
their necessities. He sold lottery tick
ets. His pleasures, were of tho sort
known as mnsculine, i.e., alcohol and
athletics. He liked horses, yachts, and
fighting ; ho was muscular himself, and
iu disposition shrewd and envious a
(Jussius, a man to keep "tho right side
of :" more than once when in liquor and
quarrelsome he was known to handle his
pistol much too freely foi the safety of
his companions.
He had many friends. One of these
was a Southerner, a plump, jovial man,
with a fund of good nature. They be
came partners in the lottery business.
Time wore on ; they made money and
married. They worked exceedingly
well together ; when the shrewdness of
the slender, dark-eyed man failed, the
fat, good nature of the partner, inspir
ing confidence, succeeds 1.
After a number of years, however.
the serenity of this friendship became
disturbed. A separation came. Each
thought he could do better alone, and
each tried it, thus dividing the stream
oi business, each trying to bring over
to his side as much as possible. After
that they began to eyo each other
askance ; love turned to jealousy, and
then to hate.
The situation " became threatening,
After a long life is passed, in which
the daily occupation has been that
which to the common herd is the
amusement, and in which the daily
recreation is what with the mass is dis
sipation, the mind gradually becomes
undermined and loses its equilibrium ;
little by little are developed great pas
sions ; instead of principles for guides
of action, the soul gets a habit of yield
ing to tne strong leeimg that is upper
most; the inner man turns to lava from
such constant excitement and fire ; f
volcano grows up beneath the calm ex
terior, and only waits a fitting occasion
for an eruption. The ijoug Island far
mer-boy of sober Dutch descent, by his
course of life, had reared within him
self another man a savage, an Italian
brigand, nil hidden from sight by the
mask of the man of the world. His ha
tred and jealousy of his former partner
became a mania. No ill-luck or mis
fortune came t!-:at was not attributed
to him. His old partner was taking his
friends, his business, and his reputa'
tion, he thought.
The result is briefly told, and is yet
vivid on the minds of the inhabitants
of this and the adjoining cities. The
estranged partners met one winter
evening in .LiiDerty street; one was
stabbed to his death, tho other was
maimed for life. A few days ago his
trial for murder was brought to a close
The jury was mercitui, and he was
saved from the gallows, but is destined
to spend what should have been tho
happy years of his life in a convict's
cell in State Prison.
The moral 13 plain, and the story
should be a warning to all those who
seek wealth by other means than the
old-fashioned path of industry.
Key Sotes.
Often and often we think we have
found another key-note when we
haven't. Most people are noted in
such obscure tones that it don't pay to
hunt them out. The best way is to let
Old Time ring the changes for em
he'll find 'em all between christening
and knell ; they are sure to respond
sooner or later. As for ns, we can't
most always tell ; but wo have one de
i J l n -.
jacio case in liana, r rom our window
a workman can be seen and heard who
has of late suocumbed to the power of
mnsio, ana we have disoovered that the
sound to which his soul goes 'out
iu ecstacy is the stenm whistle call
to quit work. When that tone steals
out upon the quiet air with the dulcet
sweetness peculiar to a forty jackass
power, this poor workman straightens
up, throws back his shoulders, flops his
ears on the sides of his head like a pair
ot oia rubber overshoes against a door
step, gives a yawn and a howl that
show him pierced to his very core by
the cheerful sonn. 1, and then speedily
goeth to his victuals. This is no fic
tion, and can be witnessed any day by
those persons disposed to doubt that
every individual man and beast have
their especial Key Aoto.
Soattebino. A noted hunter has
gun that scatters hhot badly, so that it
is not of much account. A while ago he
saw an aavertisemoui m a city paper
ottering to sena luxormation whereby
" scattering " of shot could be effeotu-
ally prevented on reoeipt of fifty cents.
He sent the money, and in due time was
informed that to prevent his gun from
" scattering" he should put in only one
s&ot.
German University Life,
Americans have never taken kindly
to the antiquated code of honor that
prevails in tho German universities.
The pistol or tho list goes to the mark
so much moro expeditiously, they are
loth to linger over fencing swords and
padding. Here is another illustration
in a glimpse at strident life written to
the Observer, of New York, by an
American tourist. Tho University of
Bonn counts at present eight hundred
aud fifty students. It was founded in
the year 1818. The fighting and beer-
rinking corps are distinguished by
their caps. The Prussians, or, in Ger
man, Borussians, wear white, the Fel
sers magenta, aud some others blue.
Mr. L., an American, has been for
some time the champion of Heidelberg,
which he has forsaken to bring his ac
complishments here. Mr. B., also nn
American, was dismissed for forgetting
himself and using his fists, instead of
trying and sometimes succeeding in
cutting oft another man s nose. When
they fight their arms are covered with
padding, so thickly, in fact, that when
not fighting a friend stands beside the
hero and supports the useful member.
They are allowed intervals of rest, but
tho fight must last fifteen minutes ;
during which time a physician stands
ready, and when a nose is cut off he
holds it in his month to keep it warm
until he can sew it on again. Bar
barous I Is it not ? I was speaking to
young nobleman of the Prussian
corps the other day. Heis only tweiity,
and his father considers it imperative
that he should be here for a year and
also fight. As he is intended for di-
Elomacy, I could not not but think his
andsome face might help him in the
serious battle of life moro than the
scars, of which he remarked to me in
French, " he should be soproud." "It
customary, remarked the father,
and makes them brave." "It is a
custom more honored in the breach
than the observance," I thought ; al
though it undoubtedly requires pluck
to stand up and cut away at the face of
man, every drop of blood showing
conspicuously upon his linen, in which
he fights, yet it is questioned whether
it would ever produce courage.
It is considered here that a man who
belongs to these lighting corps never
studies, and is rpt to become very
quarrelsome. Thee young gentlemen
generally settle their disputes outside
ot lionu, for fear ot interruption irom
the police.
I have not yet attended a kneipe or
beer-drinking bout, feeling my utter
incapacity in that direction, and not
being a paterfamilias, like an old Ger
man baron, who told me he was excused
on that account, ana arantt " eau ae
Toude."
Speaking of bravery, I dined the
other day with a young count, not more
than twenty-hve years ot age, WHO,
among his gold medals, had the iron
cross, given alone for courage. He
was a fine fellow, well-bred and amus
ing, and kept the whole table in a roar
of iaughter. Among some other bon
mot he asked a trench riddle, or.
rather, a riddle in French, as follows :
" What is the difference between Na
poleon I. and Napoleon III. ? Napo
leon I. a eugenic, and Na2wleon III. a
J'Aiacnie. JNapoleon 1. had genius.
Napoleon III. had Eugenie."
Playing Poker In Washington.
A well-known Western Railroad man,
who is now here living m Washington,
and looking after his railroads, is said
to have raised the largest hands at
poker known among gaming capitalists.
" He won fatty thousand dollars from
me, said another Western man who
told the story to a correspondent, " but
I was sick that day and had to let him
take it. Ho c&u't beat me when I am
feeling well."
It is very easy to corrupt pubho men
at the poker table, for a large percent
age of them play nearly ns many, I
should judge, as in the old days of
slavery. Poker hs arisen with the
Northwestern domination, and the ease
with which it is loarned, the reckless
chances it invites, r.nd the rapid popu
larity it attains in every circle, make it
an especial game for largo operators
wno loiter on the threshold of politics,
Make a public man poor and replace
the money as a gift, or permit him to
win ana suppose he has wronged you,
and he will try to work oil the obliga
tion with a might which he almost im
putes righteous. These great, brawny
operators know such things, and honor
in the chief places is no barrier to their
circumventing. The table, the fine
and rapid woman, worldly talk with
brilliancy m its delusiveness, the con
fidence that follows the wine cup, and
the cool study of a man over five cards
when he bets beyond his measure
these are the steps by which hard men
capture better ones. Bribery is seldom
direct, wounding the feelings or pride
of the recipient. It is extended like
the love which precedes ruin. It
says :
" My friend,1! admire you. To see
you poor with your talents is a reproach
to our country that you illustrate. I
never yet met a man I could get so
close to. If you ever feel the wolf too
close to the door, I hope you will not
wrong your friend by silence."
And it is done.
Look Sot on the Sose.
There are some men who don't know
any more about the action of frost on
tho human frame than to believe that
a person's nose looks fiery red when
frozen. A resident of Detroit always
entertained this opinion until Saturday.
He was walking along Michigan avenue,
when he saw the red nose of another
very worthy citizen, who loves the rich
and generous wines of all countries.
and the Second street man kindly said :
"Beg pardon, sir, but your nose ia
freezing." The man addressed whip
ped off his ovcrooat in about a second ,
spat on his hands, and said he could
lick any wooden-headed son of a cu
cumber in Detroit who dared to. insult
him, and there would have bee a a tight
but for Borne pedestrians ho jding the
arms and legs of the red-n jsed man,
while the Second street man got nround
the corner.
A man who don't know anything will
tell it the first time h g fta cbanoe.
Lobsters.
Their Habit,
Po-
and Growth.
A letter from
S. M. Johnson, of
Scituate harbor, gives the following in
teresting information about the habits
of the lobster : The time when they
draw into shore for a better supply of
food varies very much in different lo
calities. We find them coming in as
early of March or April in some places,
while in others they do not make their
appearance until May or June. Nor is
their time of going or coming the same
from year to year. Indeed they seem
to be somwhat erratio in their habits,
and on that account comparatively little
is known about them ; and any observa
tion made this year, however carefully,
might the next lead to quite different
conclusions. We mention this merely
to 6how that in seeking for information
we shotild not take the evidence of any
one person aB conclusive, though it
might be perfectly correct so far as his
observation went in that particular lo
cality. They seem to move quite rapid
ly in their migrations, staying in one
plooo only long enough to consume
what food presents itself. They move
in solid column, the larger and stronger
always in advance, while the rear or
last end of the school presents a sorry
appearance, composed as it is of the
small, maimed and ill-conditioned.
They move on in this order until they
find themselves on the shaler grounds,
where the great variety and abundance
of food seems to satisfy them ; the food
consists of muscles, clams, periwinkles
and the like. I would say in this con
nection that though voracious in their
habits, they are epicures as well in their
choice of food, and are not easily en
ticed into traps except with the fresh
est of bait. They remain on these
grounds the greater part of the summer,
many seeking the sandy banks and
rocky crevices where they shed their
shells, remaining in a Bemi-torpid con
dition during this change, venturing
forth again as the shell becomes suffi
ciently hard and they become strong
enough to defend themselves against
nearly all kinds of fish, as they are
easily captured and eaten while in this
Boft state. As the season advances we
find them moving off shore in as hungry
a condition as when they
came in the
spring. It is probable that they seek
tile ueeper wuluib ui tut? uuy m wiumr
for the protection it affords during our
severe Btorms ana for the warmer
temperature of the water, which is more
congenial to them. In a general way
this covers their movements so far as is
known. Of their organism and struc
ture, though curious and interesting, it
is hardly necessary to speak further, as
the practical results we wish to bring
about are not to any great extent influ
enced by knowledge of this point, ex-
, , , v t . l. 1.1
cepi in tne manner in wmuu uiw in
crease in size or grow. This change
takes place only as the shell, which has
become full, is siougnea on, anotner oi
larger size taking its place, the new one
being fully formea unaer the old, ana
having something the appearance of
India rubber, being very flexible and
elastic. The time when the change
takes place depends upon circumstances;
bnt it is quite evident that all lobsters
do not shed every year, and never do so
until they have fully filled the old ones,
which is done more or less frequently,
according to the quality of food they
have beeu able to obtain.
Funeral Dead Beats.
Of all tho obiectionable social char
acters to bo found in all cities, deliver
us from the funeral dead-beat. The
term may seem a little harsh, but is
deserved. Notice the funeral of
some prominent person, xnere
m
the
clan is present in full force. They go
early and look solemn, and crowd into
tne parior, wining pruimuem jiuoiuuuo,
and oblicrinar the friends of the family
to sit in the hall or stand up. They
view the remains of the one most dear
to many in the room, and convention
ally remark : " How natural : or,
" What a beautiful corpse." During
the sermon they affect to be deeply
moved, and burv their faces in their
handkerchieis. At the conclusion of
the ceremony they crowd forward and
manage to fill the carrirges in waiting,
to the exclusion of genuine mourners
and friends of the family, anxious to
attend the remains to the grave, there
to nav the last tribute of respect to a
mourned friend. Once on the way, they
show the real obiect in attending the
funeral, to obtain a pleasant drive
thronsh the suburbs without any ex
Dense to themselves.
They chat and talk, gaily discuss
Mrs. Grundy's last bonnet, casually
mention the new pastor, and curdla the
blood of their hearers by announcing
in a melodramio whisper that "the
the Smiths are eating in the kitch-
an " '1'hvAniYh an r id innrnpv t, h' v iuik.
of everything or anything foreign to
the mission they are on. unce as me
cemetery they Sgainlook solemn, and
allow tneir cmns 10 urup uu iui
breast, and offer their cold, unfeeling
ana aisiasieiui cuusuiauuu w uo
fn;u A.i timn tha
brisk drive back to the city is so pleas
our owu door with a flourish ; it makes
funeral dead-beat has not.even a caBuai
with the deceased or the
bereaved family. Their mock solem-
nitv and disagreeable forwardness
serve only to disgust the intelligent
nponlA nrp.se.nt. and only serve to place
upon them the ban that will serve to-
ward barring them from good society.
Verily the "funeral dead-beat' is
disagreeable charaoter. Exchange.
A Costly Word.
Fraternity is the most incrugruous
word in the French language, and every
time the fatal four syllable is written
on the walls of Paris civil war follows.
Tn th oraat revolution "fraternity
cost 2,022,903 lives; in 1848, 39,563; in
1871 57 627. The word is also expen
sive, as in February, 1848, 1,500 barri
cades were raised in Paris, which, al
lowing 845 paving stones to each, would
ma,e a total of 1,267,500 torn up by the
"sovereign people;" 8,013 trees were
uprooted, 8,704 lamps broken, and in
Baerbl polio offices burnt down.
Items of Interest.
Bricks are now manufactured from
coal shale.
Lazy husbands are known out West
as stove watchers.
Paper as a building material has be
come a great success.
Druggists are not inappropriately
termed " pillers " of society.
A Western butcher, whose premises
were robbed, said ho " lost flesh."
Hot sand baths have been introduced
in London for rheumatio patients.
Malleablo iron was well known and
extensively used four thousand years
ago.
The sophmore class at Wesleyan
University "embraces four young
ladies."
Teach calves to drink when three
days old that is, if they are to bo
raised.
Watch for little opportunities of
pleasing, and put little annoyances out
of the way.
The coal question Who's to tote it
up out of the cellar when Biddy resigns
you, or your wife ?
A bill is before the California Legis
lature making twelve hours a day's work
for street car conductors.
In India nearly 300,000 persons die
annually from the bites of reptiles and
depredations of wild beasts.
The Congregationalists of the far
West have decided to establish their
central university at Colorado Springs,
Col.
St. George Mivart makes out that
the gorilla is the least and the orang
the most human of the anthropoid
apes.
George Brown, the founder of a library
in Cincinnati, is now so poor the ho ia
often obliged to sleep in the station-
house.
Beware of pork that is not thoroughly
cooked. And never attempt to fatten
a hog that has been die eased in any
manner.
A tract of laud in Missouri containing
40,000 acres has been bought for a party
of French emigrants, who are about to
settle there.
In Canada, since the recent cold snap,
they sell whisky by the pouna, weigii'
ing it out as if it were maple sugar or
ordinary ice.
There are now 879 woolen factories at
the South, exclusively of the mills
manufacturing carpets, hosiery or
worsted goods.
There were nearly half a million cases
of cholera in Hungary, last year, 182,
549 proving fatal, while 2,978 still re
main tinder treatment.
The La Cross man who touched a
buzz-saw with his foot to see if the'saw
was running is ready to go into court
and swear that it was.
An enterprising merchant in Paris
distributes umbrellas gratuitously, on
which are displayed advertisements of
the business of the giver.
The Journal of Applied Chemistry
states that absolutely pure iron has
been prepared by a Russian chemist by
use of the galvanic battery.
ft is believed that nothing would
purify Washington so much as a three
months' run of small-pox, but the dis
ease never touches that point.
Iowa raised more wheat in 1873 than
any other State in the Union. She did
the same thing in 1872. In the item of
corn she is only second to Illinois.
Khode Island, with a population of
about 220,000, has 124 savings banks
and 93,124 depositors. xne average
amount of each deposit is $500.50.
Miss Hammondthe young lady who
mnnveved $4,500 from her faithless
oyor in Brooklyn last week, now finds
timi his total assets loot up to uujj
500.
At n. recent fire at Springfield, Mass.,
it was shown that in documents written
with violet ink, the writing vanisnoa
tVi irreat heat to which it was
exposed.
It is stated that the Mormons are
about to re-establish themselves at
Nauvoo, the place from which they were
forcibly ejected by the citizens iwouy-
five vears ago.
Tn Cincinnati restaurrnts, wnere pons
. .
io tv. fo-oTvn'tn diet, the cheery cry of
iinrmiomwa for twj I" is neara eariy
and late. Cincinnati is irignteueu
about those trichina.
A Cincinnati man has married his
wife's daughter he was a wiciower
roi,or fbA mnrriHge took place and the
mother is still living. Local metaphy
sicians are studying out the problem.
The boys of Boston and Chelsea are
f,,u nf nnimositv. They have battles
on Hi stinkn nnd stones between forces
i : . ... tlivAn lmnilrpd. One
. haa ben BQ badly Uurt tliat be may
i . . w
- -. tno much
that oreign oo
r lJo - , , nil foreign
7 ZtrHSl
r-
France.
- A bachelor says if you hand a lady a
th a taracrrapu cut out oi
it, not a line of it will be read, but
i 1 if i. a ill m tinrfinff nn T.
oy tne iaay wm ucuuo a
what the paragraph contained.
Statistics show that the larger part of
rvrimfl in England, committed by men,
j8 committed by young persons between
t thirtv years old. and of the
crimeB committed by females, the
greater share is committed by persons
between thirty and forty years of age.
A few days ago a very handsome lady
entered a dry goods house and inquired
for a " beau." The polite clerk threw
himself back and remarked that he was
at her service. " ies, dui x want a
buff, not a green one," was the reply.
The young man went on measuring
goods immediately.
A Frenchman condemned to death
for murdering his wife and child with
out extenuating circumstances, de
murred to the sentence, because capital
punishment had been abolished in
France for political offenses, and he had
killed his wife and child for no other
reason but because they were Legitimists.