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HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher
NIL DESPEMNDUM.
Two Dollars per Annum.
VOL. III.
HID G WAY, ELK COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 11, 1873.
NO. 41.
A Confluence.
Bo you would learn my history f Well.
It is a bilter tKle to toll
I ah, I onco was young as you,
As young, ami more good looking, too.
Yos, and forgive tlie riHing tear,
For though the heart in brown and Here,
From out the well-springs' of tho heart
No matter! Let me play a part !
I onee how fondly memory clingM
To Miinll but miforgotten things !
Mere trifles that to others Beem
Like empty bubbles on a stream.
Hut to rcHumo you must forgive
If, hon the pant again I live,
I somewhat wander from the thread.
Lot's see what was it last I said ?
Well, let it pass? I can renew
The story, and explain to yon
That when forgive mo if I Bigh
To think of youthful days gone by j
Thnt when but there ! you've heard
enough.
Life's ups and downs are always rough,
There keep my secret ! I'll not doubt
yon
You haven't half a crown about you ?
London Punch.
THE IXGLESBY EPISODE.
It was as curly as nine o'clock in the
morning, and Mr. Eustace Inglesby had
betaken himself for some purpose of
his own to the peace-orchard, which
was situated three or four hundred
yards from Montrose Cottage.
The crowd of people who came to
Fathbridge for health and pleasure
Summer before last 1 Who that was
among them will ever forget the gayety
of flat post season !
Well, the Inglesbys will not, at any
rate ; nor is it likely that the other peo
ple will ever forget the Inglesbys, for
they were a newly married couple, and
as to the fun they unconsciously af
forded, there was simply no end of it.
Eustace Inglesby was tall and rather
portly, and quite handsome. His wife
was a dear little woman, only about
nineteen, and ns pretty as she could
well be.
Eustace was walking about alone in
tho shade of the peach-trees. He has
slipped off here evidently to meditate.
His hands were behind his back, and
his brow was sicklied o'er with pale cast
of thought. ,
" It is impossible," he said, earnest
ly, "that I fchould endure it longer.
My days and nights are filled with an
guish, and my soul is torn with vain re
grets. Why did I ever marry her,
knowing so well, so well, that at the
imib UvLLP t 1ot.i1- viotiicfT -".
memory.'tortur) meiimiiwii)r I shall
go mad" ! "
Overcome with emotion, he paused
and buried his face in his hands. Then,
by an effort recovering, he resumed :
" Is t here no hope fer me ? Shall I
be compelled to endure this until
death ? Bitter prospect ! A wife I "
he hissed, in mocking tones. "And
am I really married to her, then? Yes,
yes I I am her husband, and with all
my soul I hate her. Ob, when I con
sider this I b- come frenzied ! No I
will not bear it. Death will relieve
me ; this dagger will end my misery.
Let mo plunge it into my hpart ! "
He Raised a small stiletto high in the
jir.and was apparently about to bury
ut in shis bosom, when there was n
shriek, and from behind one of the
trees a lady rushed out.
" Oh, Eustace, what would you do ?"
He paused, and hastily concealed the
' deadly weapon in his coat-tail pocket.
A deep blush overspread ' his counte-
nance, and his manner was full of ern-
b.iSrent.
" Well, dear, what is the matter?"
he asked, endeavoring to assume an air
of indifference.
" That is the very question I was
about to put to yon, darling," she said,
. throwing her arms around his neck.
" You were about to kill yourself."
" Nonsense ! I I was merely think
ing." "Yes, and talking to yourself such
excited language, too ! Eustace, some
thing is on your mind. You have a se
cret from me."
He kissed her affectionately, and
smiled.
" Yes ; but you shall soon learn all,
sweet. ' Be ignorant of the knowledge
till thou applaud the deed.' Hem ! "
More tears followed, of course, and
Eustace felt constrained to kiss them
away.
" You are deceiving me," sobbed Mrs.
Inglesby.
" My life, how can you accuse me of
such a thing, when you know I would
suffer a million deaths rather?"
"Then tell me what your language
meant."
" Of course I'll tell you," said Mr.
Inglesby, very much eonfused, and evi
dently at his wit's end " certainly, my
darling. Hem 1 Fact is, Emma, I am
subject to fits of absence of mind, you
know. I say all kinds of things without
having any idea what I am talking
about. I I utter the absurdest non
sense imaginable, and attach not the
slightest particle of meaning to any
word x utter.
"Indeed !"
The beautiful eyes were dry now, and
full of childish wonderment.
Mrs. Inglesby was only too happy,
In the cottage near the parlor they
met old Mrs. Pennewell; but neither
minded her, and Mrs. Inglesby eat
clown at the piano and began to play.
" My dear," said old Mrs. Pennewell,
with a smirk, "husbands are great
humbugs, aren t they ?
Mrs. Inglesby colored.
" I I don't know, ma'am."
"You will learn, then, very soon!
Ah. me I I was as lunocent as vou
were once. I believed my Pennewell to
be an angel, which is a good deal more
than I believe now h'm though he is
dead 1 But he deceived me frightfully.
They all deceive their wives."
" I am sure Mr. Inglesby would nev
er deceive me. He baa often vowed he
never would."
Old Mrs. Pennewell became apopleo
tie with laughter.
" Vowed I You pretty, Billy little
thing, don't you know that husbands'
vows are mere jokes T Bo you think
your Enstaoe would not deceive you,
eh ? Listen. Has he ever mentioned
Mrs. Charlotte Rush ton to you as a lady
of remarkable beauty and singular fas
cination ?"
" ne thinks her rather ponderous, to
use his term. We sometimes go to see
her at her pretty little cottage over by
the lake."
" Indeed 1 My love, when he wakes
up, ask him what he was doing at Mrs.
Rushton's yesterday afternoon. Stay
I will tell you, if you promise not to
breathe a word. It will make you laugh
so. Ho was " Mrs. Pennewell chuckled
immensely "he was on his knees to
her, uttering the wildest nonsense you
ever heard in your life I"
Perhaps the old lady expected Mrs.
Inglesby to cry instead of laugh; but, if
so, she was disappointed.
" Oh ! I can easily understand that,
madame. Poor Eustace is subject to
strange attacks of absence of mind,
when he does the most eccentric things.
He told me all about it this morning
not an hour ftgot"
This produced a climax to Mrs.
Pennewell's laughter, and for a while it
was uncontrollable. When she had re
covered, she said:'
"Child, your innocence will be the
death of me. But I have a thought I
Here comes Doctor Frotherwood. You
must tell hiru about your husband's ec
centricity or shall I ? I know him very
weB better than anybody knows him,
pct'iaps.
Mrs. Inglesby was too bewildered to
make any demur, and presently the
doctor trotted in.
He was a hearty-looking, short,
merry old person, with a blooming
countenance and fidgety manner the
sort of old gentleman one is likely to
meet almost anywhere, and whose na
tionality never could be satisfactorily
fixed upon.
Mrs. Pennewell and the good old
doctor presently did considerable whis
pering ; and then Eustace awoke, of
course with a start.
" Great heaven ! I thought it was
midnight. I was dreaming about the
oddest things, and I fancied Mrs. Char
lotte Rushton was her. I hope," ho
said, earnestly, " I didn't talk iu my
sleep ?"
" No, dear," responded Mrs. Ingles
by ; "but you remember, I suppose,
that you dropped off into your nap in
the middle of my music ?"
He sprang up and took her hand.
" Of course I did, Emma brute that
L am ; but Helloa, doctor, you
llEra? -LWJiat time is it ? Great heaven !
TrjniTbjroir;'' ' ' '
v nere are yon going I cried Mrs.
Inglesby, seizing him as he was about
to take his departure.
" My dearest love, don't detain me, I
tmnlnwi I Tf -r'. fri i rtiklw lrr-v
I know you you would in tact, you
would be acquainted "with everything
within the' circle of my knowledge !
And so, au rcvoit: Mrs. Pennewell,
and doctor; this is pressing, you know,
and all that aud so I shall see you all
again at dinner."
And awav ho went.
There was a pause. Doctor Prother-
wood shrugged, and raised his ugly
eyebrows.
" Clear case, Airs, l'enneweii.
"I think so."
Mrs. Inglesby was tremulous and
pale.
She could hardly gasp out a request
for explanation ; but the words came at
last.
Urn ! Mv dear child, answered
the doctor, " I really don't wish to dis
tress you ; but "
' But what V"
' Nothing. I really must go. I
haven't a minute. Ha ! Good morn
ing, ladies. Expect me at dinner."
And out trotted the funny old doctor.
" Dinner !" said Mrs. Pennewell.
" They'll both be back then, so they
say. .Mow, ray sweet Airs. inglesby, x
see that you are greatly distressed.
Don't deny it. You are quite ready to
cry."
True enough. All the dear little lady
could do was to stifle a sob, and gasp
out :
" What did the doctor say ?"
"Nevermind. Perhaps the curtain
will rise after this famous dinner. And
so you think your husband eccentric ?"
Yes. He has acted in the strangest
manner since tne last lew days. ne
has always preoccupied wanders in
his talk and "
Mrs, Pennewell held up her finger.
" Wait !" she said.
The dinner very naturally came as
expected. Who should walk in after
the soup but Mrs. Rushton, on Mr,
Inelesbv's arm !
Yea : he had been quite right in ins
deserintion. for she was larce. spark
ling, handsome, though certainly a
trifle weighty physically and meta
phorically.
There was no delay in explanation,
since she said, after a while :
I have invited myself here to dine
to-day, because after dinner Mr,
Inglesby and I nave some very par-
particular business together.
After dinner! And yet Inglesby
scowled. His wife didn't know what
to do ; but the doctor and Mrs. Penne
well nudged each other and laughed.
After dinner the doctor and Mrs,
Pennewell took the little woman aside
"I will tell yon," said the former,
" and tell you frankly. 1 think your
Inglesby is not a sane man. I have
consulted authorities this morning, and
it is impossible for any man in his
sound senses to act as he does. Now,
I propone to examine him. You shall
stand by and notice his answers, and
afterwards we'll compare notes."
" I have a diflerent theory, my
dear, croaked Mrs. l'enneweii. " Tne
end will prove who is correct."
So they at once went to look for
Eustace. He had left the house with
the widow.
Where could he have gone ? Mrs,
Inelesby timidly suggested the peach'
orchard. They went noiselessly
through the garden in that direetion ;
and, ou approaching, heard voices.
" Yes, there they were Eustace and
Mrs. Rushton together. The eaves
droppers listened.
" But I adore you I" said Eustace.
" Nay, nay, this is idle," rejoined
the lady, simpering.
" Oh, can you doubt me after all my
protestations, and the thousand proofs
of my affection t"
" But I know your reputation. You
are a deceiver by profession, and have
played others false 1"
" Then," cried Eustace, falling on
one knee and seizing her hand, "hear
me swear by all that is true "
Mrs. IngfeBby screamed, and rushed
into view, and the others followed.
Mr. Inglesby immediately sprang to
his feet, and began capering about in
the most extraordinary manner.
" Ha ! Mad, you see," said the doc
tor "mad, undoubtsdly I"
Mrs. Rushton laughed, and Mrs.
Pennewell shook her head. At length
Mr. Inglesby, upon a sudden, dashed
through the trees, leaving tne intruders
all transfixed.
That evening Mrs. Inglesby received
two hints of advice.
" Madam," said the doctor, "what
ever you do, don't mention the matter
of this afternoon to your husband, and
don't excite him in any way. If he has
another fit, secure him."
Mrs. Pennewell said:
" My dear, your husband is making
love to Mrs. Rushton, that is plain.
Search his pockets when he is asleep."
Poor Mrs. Inglesby didn't know
whose advice to follow, so she concluded,
in her distress, to follow that of both
of her friends. The consequence was,
when Mr. Inglesby showed himself later
in tho evening, he was received ns il
nothing out of the or linary way had
happened.
But, before the following morning,
his wife had possessed herself of the
following interesting letter abstracted
from his pocket while asleep:
" This suspense, my darling, I can
not longer bear. All is prepared for
our flight together, and let ns lose no
more time, but go to-night. Suspicion
is already aroused ; further delay were
madness. I will bo with you at nine."
So, an elopment 1 Mrs. Pennewell
was right, after all. Oh, what could
be done to prevent it ! A thought 1 She
would confer with Doctor Protherwood.
"Doctor, I will tell you all!" she
cried, bursting into tears, and leaning
upon his shoulder.
" There, then," he said. "Don't dis
tress yourself any further. Tell me
what the trouble is, and let us see what's
to be done. "
And so she gave him the details in
full.
" He intends to elope, eh ?" mut
tered the old gentleman, biting his
forefinger, thoughtfully. "Let him go,
sny."
" No, no ; not for worlds millions of
worlds 1"
" But how will yon prevent him from
eloping if he wishes to do so ? It can't
be prevented."
" Yeshere must be some means. I
self.'""
"Force? Um! Let me consider."
" Do, dear doctor."
"I have it. I have told you that I
think he is mad. Very well. I will
post two men in the grounds of this
cottage. At eight o'clock try to detain
your husband by all the blandishments
a wife can employ. It they fail, and lie
persists in going out, lock him into his
room, and come at once to Bee me."
Eight o'clock p. m. Mr. Inglesby
laid by his smoking-gown, and yawned
lightly.
' My dear, 1 think 1 11 go out lor a
walk."
"Yes, Eustace," she replied, con
cealing her nervousness, "and take
me.
Mr. Inglesby sat down again.
" No, my clear ; I don't thinkl'll take
a walk," he said.
He lit a cigar. Some minutes passed.
He rose once more.
" By Jove ! I've got an appointment.
It's after the time already. Where's
my coat and hat?"
She caught his arm.
" les. and it is too late, bend an
apology to-morrow."
" .Nonsense. My friend h m Urown
would never forgive me. You don't
know what a punctual creature he is
in fact, he s rather a monomanic ou the
subiect of punctuality.
" Well, Eustace, let him understand
that you are not. Indeed, I don't wish
you to go out. I want you to spend
the evening with me.
" But it's impossible, love."
" It is quite possible, and I will be
the tyrant for once. Eustace, you shall
not go out.
" Why, I'm only going "
"I don't wish to know where; but
be assured you shall not leave this house
to-night.
Mr. Inglesby stared at her in amaze
ment.
" Emma, you nave not lost your
senses. 1 hope?
" You may confidently rest assured
that 1 have not.
" Then don't oppose my going where
l please, or x snail rninK cue con
trary."
" I have said that you shall not leave
the house to-night.
Mrs. Inglesby was astonished beyond
measure.
" I really don't understand this con
duct, Lninia.
" I have not understood your conduct
for some time, Eustace ; but you have
not yet vouchsafed an explanation."
He burst out laughing.
" Is that your reason for opposing
my wish ? Well, dear, it's only a little
mystery. You shall know it all in a day
or two.
"Very well," she answered, calmly,
"So of course I had better put on
my coat and hat at once and hasten
away to Brown. Quarter-past eight
Great heaven ! I am verv late."
" You shall not go, Eustace," said
Mrs. Inglesby, still quietly.
He reddened. He was angry.
He fidgeted impatiently with his
watch-chain, and began pacing the
floor.
"Probably you take me for an idiot,"
Mrs. Inglesby.
" 1 never did well understand you,
XiUstace, x admit.
Well, know this, that I am not an
idiot, and that I will obey the dictates
of my own will. I intend to go out, do
you near ?"
"We shall see, dear, if you acoom
piisn your intention.
" So we shall I" he exclaimed, flying
into a passion so we shall, by J ove
Where are my hat and coat ? Ah ! the
next room. Wo shall see, indeed,
maaame r
He dashed
furious.
into the next room,
Mrs. Inglesby quietly arose, shut the
door, and locked it.
Her husband, perceiving this move
ment, stood petrified.
" Emma I ho shouted through the
keyhole.
" Well, dear ?"
"Let me out. Stop this confounded
tomfoolery. I've had quite enough of
" Will you promise, if I set you free,
not to leave the house to-night ?"
" No I" he bellowed, dancing with
rage. " I mean to- show you that I am
not a child. I am master, aud will
have my own way. Open the door,
woman, I command you !
'Never at least, never until to
morrow 1"
" Agh I" he shrieked, gnashing his
teeth. "I'll pay you out for this,
madame. This is some of that con
founded old Pennewell's doing ! I've
seen you two together holding confab,
aud spying upon mo. Madame, I'll
leave you, do you hear ?"
" You can't. The door's locked, you
know."
"I'll break it down ! I'll kick the
panels out."
" They're oak, Eustace."
" Very well. I'll try other means.
First of all, so you shan't see what
means, I'll stop up the keyhole."
This purpose he immediately exeeu
ted. Mrs. Inglesby now began to feel
alarmed. What could he mean ? Sui
cide, perhaps I
She hastened to find old Doctor
Protherwood.
" Doctor. I've locked him in. and he
is in a furious rago; He threatens to
escape by desperate means !"
Locked him m, and ho s in a furi
ous rage ! Oood I This confirms my
theorv, Mrs. Inglesby. that vour hus
band is insane. Yes, yes. We'd better
put him iu a straight jacket, and send
him to au asylum to-morrow. A few
weeks' quiet will probably cure him."
nut, on, doctor I that is such a ter-
ible step !"
-Not at all. ion don t want to live
with a dangerous luuatic, do you?"
" Y hat can he have meant bv hinting
that he would escope from tho room by
desperate means ?"
At this moment there was a terrific
yell somewhere out of doors, succeeded
by the sound of struggling.
" Ah ! what do 1 hear ! cried the
doctor. " His desperate means meant
tho window. But he cannot have got
free, for my men were posted on the
tn'rjlVUds." ... . . . .
the darkness without.
The struggle still continued, and there
were sounds of oaths.
A large crowd had already been drawn
around the combatants, and when poor
terrified Mrs. Inglesby, clinging to the
doctor's arm, arrived on the spot, she
saw a singular sight.
There was Eustace, it is true, tied
hand and foot; but such a figure !
He had dressed himself in hose and
doublet, and wore at his side a sword,
aud on his head a wi His face was
powdered, and his cheeks rouged; across
iiis forehead were dra.vn thin black
lines, to represent wrinkles.
His wile rushed into his arms, but he
pushed her off.
" JSo, no 1 he said. " e are hence
forth strangers !"
Doctor Protherwood threw up his
hands, and said, in a low voice, to old
Mrs. Pennewell, who had just arrived,
breathless :
" I was right, after all, you see. Ho
is hopelessly mad."
Mrs. ingiesbv was about to laint, but
the sound of another voice revived her.
A ladv rode up, her horse covered
with foam, and dismounting, advanced.
In the light ot the lamps, candles and
lanterns scattered about in the crowd,
she was recognized as Mrs. Charlotte
Rushton.
What is tho meaning of this ? she
asked, excitedly. "Ah ! do my eyes de
ceive me ? No, no; it is he I"
She flung herself on Mr. Inglesby's
Bhoulder. He pushed her on. likewise.
" Mrs. Rushton, this is reality, if you
please, and we are not acting. Every
body seems to have gone mad hereabout,
and I am the victim, you perceive, of
their first caprice."
The rehearsal, Mr. Inglesby, is
postponed till to-morrow evening. We
waited lor you until we were tired, and
at last 1 determined to ride over to Mon
trose, and discover for myself the cause
of your absence.
My wile nras the cause, madame
Sho locked me up. Determined not to
disappoint you, I at once dressed my-
selt tor my character, as you perceive.
tore up some sheets, descended by
them from the window, and on landing
was seized by these ruffians, who were
mnor in wait for mo.
Uh. xuustace i cneci poor Mrs.
Inglesby, bursting into tears, " I think
I see it all. You and Mrs. Rushton
have been arranging private theatricals,
and
" And didn't want all the world to
know the fact till the proper time,
" Exactly !" said Mr. Iuglesby, with
cutting sarcasm. " Wise little wo
man !"
" All your love-speeches in the peach
orchard were not the signs of insanity,
not realities at all"
" Only the language of my part, Don
Jose de Calcavelle, in the comedy of
'Smiles-and Tears,'" replied Mr. In
glesby. " My peculiar conduct when
interrupted by you and your friends
was also acting, but the joke has cost
me dearly. This mortification will kill
me. I shall never be able to show my
face again."
" But the letter, Eustace the letter
I found, speaking of elopement?"
" A property ' letter, of course. So
you searched my pockets, too, eh ? I
missed the letter this evening, and
couldn't imagine what had become of
it. ' Witltout that letter the dress re
hearsal would have been ruined. Well,
what is to be done with me, ladies and
gentlemen ?"
Doctor Protherwood had disappeared;
also Mrs. Pennewell. The two captors
of poor Mr. Inglesby of course at onoe
released him.
He said nothing more, but passed
through the crowd and returned to the
cottage. But there was a titter behind
him, and many smothered remarks were
exchanged regarding suspicious wives.
Mrs. Inglesby followed her Eustace a
few steps in the rear, but durst not
speak to him.
Next morning they both left Path
bridge, and Mrs. Charlotte Rushton's
private theatricals ended in nothing.
But everybody has a version of his own
when he has figured in ix good story,
and the best practical joke in the collec
tion of Doctor Protherwood and he
maintains this to have been such is
what he calls The Inglesby Episode.
A Precious Rascal.
A war against divorce shvsters is in
progress in Chicago, where the members
of the class are innumerable. They be
lieve they are able to rush through a
decree without any reference to the
merits of the case, ns was fully illus
trated for the one thousandth time by a
case reported. According to this state
ment, a man who had a farm of consid
erable value, and a family, went away
from home and met a former sweetheart,
whom he concluded he would like to
marry. Asa preparatory step toward
this accomplishment, he went to Chica
go to get a divorce. He had no difficul
ty in finding a professional who agreed
to obtain a divorce for him, without any
reference to nny residence in Chicago
or compliance with any other safeguards
of the law. The nttempt would proba
bly have succeeded, as hundreds of oth
ers of just as little merit have succeed
ed before, if it had not been for a mere
accident. Instead of procuring some
woman to represent the wife, as had
been done in several cases, the husband
thought he could betray or bully his
wife into signing an agreement for a ref
erence before a . Master of Chancery,
where the case could be rushed through
without danger of any inspection likely
to disclose its enormity. The wife,
however, went to Chicago, with a babe
in her nrms, and stumbled about the
Court House in a vague way until she
happened to meet a clerk of the Court,
who assisted her to find the case she
wanted to investigate, and an attorney,
who, out of charity, undertook to defend
her rights. She was the one who had
been deserted, and who had been
obliged to borrow money to support her
family during her husband's absence.
It was his purpose to procure a divorce,
and then sell out the farm on which his
family lives, leaving them no means of
support, and no redress.
All About Cranberries.
The Philadelphia Enruirer says :
&bironT. . rarl-iovri Aa from thft NftW
history of the rise of what io
productive industry, is somewhat curi
ous. Some vears ago New Jersey pos
sessed fifteen thousand acres of worth-
ess swamp lands, situated in Ocean,
Atlantic, and Burlington Counties. The
first person who attempted to grow the
cranberry on these swamps and peat
bogs met with great difficulties, but
finally overcame them and made his
fortune. Since then, this formerly
worthless land has become among the
most valuable in the State. The berries
are picked from the 20th of September
to the 1st of October, when they com
mence to reach the market. To the
stranger the sight of one of these great
cranberry beds, ns they appear on the
surface, is of little interest, as only a
few berries show on the top, and no
idea can be formed of tho wealth
beneath. Stepping on one of the beds,
however, nud treading as carefully as
we mav, is like walking on torpedoes,
as the berries snap at every step. Once
on the beds, let the visitor kneel and
part the matted vines with his hands,
and tho astonishing yield of one oi
these well-ordered plantations may then
be seen ; it cannot be estimated, so
prolific does it appear, and so wonder
ful.
Marriage Festivities.
In Svria. weddings always take place
at night. There is a great feast ior the
whole week, and then the bridegroom
goes to the bride s house, to get the
bride from her lather, and carry her to
her new home. Musicians walk by the
side of him. There are men and youths
to blow the horn, the trumpet, the flute,
the dulcimer, tho mouth organ of pipes
or reeds : and others to play the lyre,
the harp, the viol, the timbrel, the
cymbals and the tabret. Girls and boys
dance, as he walks along ; and a mini
ber of unmarried young women "vir
gins," as the old word was go with
him also with lighted torches, to give a
welcome to the bride and show the way,
There torches, or lamps, are fixed at the
end of a long stick. They are some
thing like brass dishes, and then are
filled with rags, oil and pitch. The
oil soon burns away, and more has to
be poured in ; so the young men must
carry oil with them, or their lamps will
go out, and then, besides the pretty
procession being spoiled, the peopie
would all be bustling against one an
other, because the night would be dark
and they could not see.
How the Indians Cliuib Trees,
In South America even the weakest
woman may bo, not uncommonly, seen
plucking the fruit at the tree tops, it
the bark is so smooth and slippery that
they cannot go up by climbing, they use
other means. They make a hoop of
wild vines, and putting their feet in
side, they use it as a support in climb
ing. The negro of the west coast of
Africa makes a larger hoop round the
tree and gets inside of it, and jerks it
up the trunk with his hands, a little at
a time, drawing his legs up after it.
The Tahitian boys tie their feet to
gether, four or five inches apart, with a
piece of palm bark, and with the aid of
this fetter go up the cocoa-palms to
gather nuts. The native women in
Australia climb the gum trees after
opossums : where the bark is rough
they chop holes with a hatchet, then
one throws about the tree a rope twice
as long as will go around it, puts her
hatchet on her cropped head, and,
placing her feet against the tree and
grasping the rope with her hands, she
hitches it up by jerks, and pulls herself
up the enormous trunk almost as fast
aa a man will climb a ladder,
Thonghts for Saturday Night.
In the meanest hut is a romance if
you knew the hearts there.
Every man desires to live long : but
no man would be old.
Philosophy is, to tell the truth, a
home-sickness, an effort to return homo.
A man has generally the good or the
ill qualities that he attributes to man
kind. The force of selfishness is ns inevita
ble and ns calculable as the force of
gravitation.
If a man cannot be a Christian in the
place where he is, he cannot be a Chris
tian anywhere.
Mohammed once said : When a
man dies, men inquire what he has left
behind him ; angels inquire what he
has sent before him."
Influence good or bad, comes not
from the opinions a man possesses, but
from the character he has formed, and
the life he leads.
A true man never frets about his
place in the world, but just slides into
it by the gravitation of his nature, and
swings there ns ensily ns a star.
With many readers brilliancy of stylo
passes for affluence of thought ; they
mistake buttercups iu the grass for
immeasureablo mines ot gold under
ground. Attraction nets on nil and at all dis
tances. To feel repulsion we must be
very near. It is a petty and personal
feeling, or, at best, is the protest of
natural affinities against unsought
proximity.
lias nny one wronged you ? lie brave
ly revenged ; slight it, nnd the work is
begun ; forgive it, 'tis finished. He is
below himself who is not nbovo nu in
jury
livery thought nnd feeling is a paint
ing stroke, in the darkness, of our like
ness that is to bo ; and our whole life
is but a chamber, which we are fresco
ing with colors that do not appear while
being laid on wet. but which will shine
forth afterwards, when finished and dry.
orking love is better than emotive
love. It is well to have both, but it is
not every one who has steam enough
to work tho engine and blow the
whistle, too. There is a love that never
peaks ; it spends itself in work, like
sunlight shedding its rays on the ground
and bringing up the beautiful flowers,
softly and quietly. The practical life I
accept.
The great ocean is in a constant state
of evaporation. It gives back what it
receives, and sends up its waters in
mists to gater into clouds ; and so there
is rain on the fields nnd storm on the
lnountains, and greenness and beauty
everywhere. But there are many men
who do not believe in evaporation.
They get all they can and keep all they
"ot, and so are not fertilizers, but only
A (Juestibil.
In a Scotch country parish n
church officer filled that office and
that of grave-digger for tho long space
of fifty years. Suspicion had long been
entertained that he was in tho habit of
helping himself out of the collection
plate whenever opportunity permitted.
it was dillicuit, oi course, to prove mis.
At last, however, tlie sum of one pound
was abstracted from a missionary box
which stood in the veptry, nnd every
thing combined to point out this man
as the culprit. Tho ciders told the min
ister(thatsomothingmust really be clone.
The minister said, "Leave him to me,
and 1 11 see what can be done. The
following Sabbath, after the forenoon
service, the minister was taking off his
gown and bands, and, being alone in
the vestry with the suspected man, he
thought the opportunity was too good
to be lost, so he said, "Andrew, have
you heard of the money that is missing
Iromthe box ? "Uh, ay, said Andrew,
"lwas hearing something about it.
"Andrew," continued' the other, very
gravely, " tho matter lies between you
and me. We are the only two who have
access to the box. Either you or i must
be the thief." " 'Deed, Sir," rejoined
the imperturbable Anderew, " it's just
as you say ; we're the only twa that has
had access to tho box, and I think the
best way 11 be for you to pay the tae
half and I pay the tither, and say nae
mair about it."
A Discovery at Pompeii.
The form of another human body,
which had been impressed on the
ashes of Pompeii, has been preserved
in plaster of Paris. The cast is said to
be extremely beautiful, aud lar superior
to any which have been hitherto taken.
The head is a portrait, the nose is long
and decidedly aquiline, the lips full and
half open, the ears enormously largo.
There is no muscular contraction in
dicative of a violent death, and the
whole person, which is in the pose of
one who sleeps a placid sleep, shows
that this unhappy citizen of Pompeii
died of asphyxia. He lies on the left
side, resting the head on the right
hand, whilst the other arm, bent under
the breast, is almost concealed ; the
legs are drawn up unequally, the left
more than the right, which is stretched
out naturally. Around the loins was a
linen covering, which concealed a smau
portion of the legs ; the breast was
naked, without the shirt, unless there
be some appearance of one under the
left armpit, but the feet were naked,
and these have been cast magnificently.
It is worthy of note that this body was
found at a remarkable neigut, almost ou
the level of the second story, and near
it were a few pieces of money in bronze
and silver. Thus another interesting
addition is made to the casts of human
forms uow in the British Museum.
What Protection Meant.
The Milwaukee Daily Wisconsin says:
It was the language and the intention
of our forefathers who founded this
creat Republic that whether a man be
poor or lowly, or weak in person or weak
.
in ueaa, so long as ne was uu Auienuuu
citizen, he was eutitled to the full pro
tection of our flag, under which he iiad
taken refuge, and that he had a right to
demand for that protection the whole
treasure of the nation and every able
bodied man within its territory. That
was the dootrine of that conservative
statesman, John Quincy Adams, which
he enunciated in his immortal dispatch
to the Spanish authorities, when they
were striving to crush tho life out of
South American Republics,
Items of Inlerest.
Wooden shoes aro quite commonly
worn iu some Wisconsin towns.
A grand bull fight was given in Ha
vana in honor of the officers nnd crew
of the Tornado.
An Iowa paper took fifteen pounds of
dried npples as pay for publishing a
marriage notice.
A barrel of oil is considered a fair
trade for a bushel of potatoes in some
part3 of the oil regions.
The La Trappe monks at Eubuque
have received a mandate from Frauco
forbidding them from shaving off their
beards.
A Florida colored boy, in the act of
eating sugar, was stung in the mouth
by a bee and died from tho effects of
the sting.
Two weeks ngo, lumbermen in Min
neapolis refused $20 a month for winter
labor. They are now ready to enlist at
the rate of 816 to $18.
The Mobile Register appeals for aid
for the widow and seven children of
Capt. Fry of the Virginins, in destitute
circumstances in New Orleans.
A little Chicago girl who went
through the tunnel under the river, ex
claimed on returning home, "Oh, ma,
we went over the river nnder it." .
The committee of the Georgia Press
Association decided to postpone the
National Press Convention, called to
meet at St. Louis Nov. 20, to some fu
ture time.
Diogenes hunted in the day-time for
an honest man, with a lantern ; if ho
had lived in these times, he would hav
needed she hed lite of a lokomotif.
Josh Billings.
During the past month 15,732 per
sons emigrated from Liverpool, 12,888
of whom came to the United States. Iu
the corresponding month of 1872 10,119
persons emigrated.
There will be undoubtedly over 50,
000 persons thrown out of employment,
nnd without a place to sleep or where
withal to feed their starving families iu
New York this winter.
The Charleston (S. C.) Ncics says :
" It is rumored that in the event of
President Grant declaring war against
Spain, the first regiment of National
Guards, of this city, will at onee volun
teer and embark for Cuba."
A sewing machine agent in Indiana
has been arrested for having four
wives. The immense profits that nro
made on sewing machines may justify
an ngent in having four wives, but he
ought to know that nothing else does.
G. W. Graham, the ex-army captain
who attempted to murder and rob Army
Paymaster Major Brooks, has been con-
victpd. nt Denver of assault with intent
years in tne ltuiuuuiu .
a fine of $1,000.
Irascible old party "Conductor, why
didn't you wake me ns I asked you ?
Here I am, miles beyond my station."
Conductor" I did try, sir, but nil I
could get out of you was, 'All right,
Maria, get the children their breakfast,
and I'll be down in a minute.' "
"If bovs and girls," said n clergy
man at Evanston, 111., " do their spark
ing at church, I say amen to it. I have
a daughter whom I cherish as the apple
of my eye. When she is of suitable
age, I had rather she would be courted
in the house of God than in the theatre."
A man at Logansport, Ind., who sub
scribed $5,000 to a Universalist college
of that place a year or two since, now
refuses to pay his subscription on the
ground that he was insane. The trus
tees, however, do not believe in such
emotional insanity, and have sued him
for the money.
An industrious, painstaking, Con
necticut parson, nnxious that his ser
mons shall mnke lasting impressions on
the minds of his people, occupies his
leisnre hours iu putting into type and
printing from a hand-press outlines of
his discourses for distribution to church
goers from week to week.
Working love is better than emotive
love. It is well to have both, but it ia
not every one who has steam enough to
work the engine and blow the whistle,
too. There is a love which never
speaks ; it spends itself in work, like
sunlight shedding its rays on the ground
and bringing up the beautiful flowers,
softly and quietly.
" Little Tommy didn't disobey mam-
" a; 11 1. nil
ma. and go in swimming, cuu. iiu r
" No, mamma ; Jimmy Brown and the
rest of the boys went in, but I remem
bered, and would not disobey you."
"And Tommy never tells lies, does
he ?" " No, mnmma ; or I couldn't go
to Heaven." "Then how does Tommy
happen to have on Jimmy Browns
shirt?"
T. Lane Emory, residing near Taylor,
Pa., recently lost horses by hydropho
bia. While driving on the road one of
them began to act very strangely, froth
ed at the mouth, became ungovernable,
and in a frantio rage seized its compan
ion by the neck, thus communioating
the disease to it. A number of hogs in
the neighborhood were bitten by the
same dog, and died with all the symp
toms of hydrophobia.
The championship of gullibility is
claimed by Winchester, R. I., for one
of its citizens who recently allowed a
genteel stranger to try on his'new over
coat " to see how ne would iook in it
while he, the owner, stepped into the
Providence depot to look at the time
table. He explains that the genteel
stranger promised faithfully to wait for
him outside, but supposes he must have 1
remembered some pressing business
engagement and forgotten all abont thel
overcoat.
It was Piatt Evans of Cincinnati whoJ
taught his f riepds how to buy tender!
,i ... .1... - ..
geese, dui ne couian t always get thee
i iu uio uimn.cu. uua uiunuug ue Baw
lot and inquired of the farmer how
many there were. " About a dozen,"
was the reply. " W-w-well." said Piatt.
"Ik-k-keep a b b-boardin house, and
my b-b boardera are the darndest e-ei
eaters you ever s-s-saw. P-p-pick oujl
n-n-nine of the t-t-toughest you've tr-sl
got." The farmer complied, and laid
aside the other three tender ones.
Piatt picked them up carefullv
the putting them in his basket said, "
I b-b-believe I'U t-t-take theBe three 1 "
1