The Elk County advocate. (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, February 20, 1873, Image 1

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OlfexilY A. FARSOXS, Jr., Edllor
and Publisher.
ELK COUNTY-THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.
Two Dollars per Annum.
VOLUME III.
Miscellaneous Selections. !
ABSENCE.
Throngh azure realms of lonliness
mie the hot sun : no cloudy lleet
Convoys him o'er the trackless waste,
Or cools Ins path with snowy sleep
Uecalme.1 upon that tropic deep.
Or scuds, by freshing breezes chased.
Dropping swift shadows down to bicss,
And moke the sunlight doubly sweet.
Earth's upturned face Is glad no more,
(.JprfMlonlni beneath the noon :
Ihc listless winds in covert lie,
JNor hunt in lightsome companies
The flHh 8,,,oriV5 frrain. nnd siB"hlnS trees:
ine.8Pnls inland no reply
lo the dumb yearning of the shore,
nut ebbs away in weary swoon.
A bird in yonder thicket sings,
And If so be his songs tells true,
m mile and miles the only bird)
For ne'er such plaintive monotone
oi heart compnnionless and lone
tft"?; B ?"mmer noontide heard;
light folded are his useless wings.
His mate Is lost beyond the blue.
Gone is the nameless charm that finds
The outer world in kinship blest,
The interchange, the light refrain ;
And 'twixt our souls, that once were near,
Lie leagues of stirless atmosphere.
Asleep upon a silent main :
Nothing to-day ita heart-mate binds,
Aor any answer to its quest.
One kiss of shadow or of air
The world to lovelier life would stiri
r,-m igM 1 rt"sP ,hat distant hand,
ihen love would grace for me the who'e:
So light a touch on hand or soul.
Ho light a touch to sea or land,
Makes all things one and all tilings fair.
V ake, wind! and blow a touch from herl
--Scribner'tfor March.
BILL WILSON'S CONFESSION.
The boyish frolic which I am about to
relate said Bill, loeking rather melan
choly seems a much more serious piece
of business, looked at through the inter
vening years, than it did at the time to
me. indeed, I am not sure that the au
thorities over there would consent to look
at it in the light of a boyish frolic at all ;
although I think that what happened to
the old woman, my mistress, was a good
thing for her, as It certainly was for ev
ery one else, and as for the old man, he
was always saying lie was ready to go,
and if he went a little sooner than he
supposed he was going, it could have
made but little difference to him. He was
my second master. He lived on Severn
street in Clerkenwell, and his place of
uur-iuess as wen as nis residence was a
tall, brick building, standing all alone, a
dairy where the cows never saw daylight
being on one side, and a bowling-aliev on
the other. How long he had lived there
the Lord onlyknows. The name over
the window "James Macdonald, Print
er," was printed in very old-fashioned
characters, and almost invisible, from the
dusty accumulations of many years. I
passed his shop one particularly bright
morning, which perhaps accounts for my
seeing the bill in his window, which read
thus :
"Boy wanted, must be the son of industrious
parent, Scotch preferred must be able to read
fad wrltu' and be a stric"y moral and upright
When I first cast my eye on this bill I
had my hands stuffed into my breeches
pockets, and was whistling "The girl I
left behind me," but the moment I read
the bill I drew my hands out of my pock
ets, and began to hum a Presbyterian
hymn, for I was born a hypocrite, and
lying with me was a natural gift, and
then I ranw the bell. It was answered by
a good-deal worse-looking boy than I was,
though he was considerably larger.
" Wot do you want?" said this young
ster, eyeing me with great jealousy, for
my knees were not patched as his were,
neither did I wear corduroys.
"I want the place wot's vacant," said I,
contldently, "I'm a virtuous and upright
lad."
"O, you are, are you," replied the boy
sarcastically ; "well, you won't do, 'cos
you ain't big enough."
" I'm as bier as you be," said I, getting
ready to run if he showed fight.
"lean fight you with one 'and," he
replied.
"And I can fight you with one hand,"
said old Macdonald, coming up behind
and giving him a blow which knocked his
head against the wall. "Come in, my
boy," he said to me, "you look like a nice,
pious boy. Does your father drink ?"
"No, sir," said I, "and he goes to
church, regular !" It is possible that tills
was not, strictly, the truth.
"And you go with him, I suppose,"
continued the old man.
"Yes, sir," I replied, "and I say my
Srayers every night like a good boy."
either was this, perhaps, strictly the
truth.
" Then I think you are the boy I want,"
said the old man. " I want a boy that is
willing to make himself generally useful
for his food and lodging for the first six
months, after which I will pay him a
trifle, and if he serves me faithfully for a
year or two I may apprentice him, In
which case," said my master, patting me
kindly on the head, " he will become, in
course of time, a gentlemanly compositor,
and perhaps be able to save enough to
take him to America."
This was a prospect sufficiently glori
ous. I have always blamed old Macdon
ald, for exciting my imagination too much
at first. It was a singular fault for a
man of his years, but he paid the penalty
for it.
" I'm sure I'm willing," said I to him,
seeing the good impression I had made,
" all I want is a ehance to say my prayers
regular."
My master looked at me searchingly
when I made this remark, but, apparent
ly convinced of my sincerity, he said :
" I am glad to see you so thoughtful,
William ; you are a very nice boy. Now
we will go up stairs."
Accordingly, up stairs we went, and
there I saw the old woman, my mistress
a shrunken, dried-up wisp of humanity
goodness only knows how old t-he was.
But she had a bright, keen eye that rest
ed on me the moment I entered the room.
" James, she said, sharply to her hus
band, "don't have anything to do with
that boy ; he's a hypocrite ; he's false to
the backbone ; he's capable of poisoning
his mother."
I don't know what made the old lady
speak of a pious boy like me In that way:
but I know how I felt and what I
thought.
" All right, old ooman," I thought, "if
I was only big enough to pitch you out
of the winder; er if hever I gets a chance to
burn you up alive!" That Is what I thought
and I thought it with more intensity, per
haps, than most pious boys would have
been capable of. The old man looked at his
wife, rather astonished at her observa
tions, and said ;
" Nonsense, my dear, he is a very nice,
Slous boy, and his father and mother
on't drink, and go to church regularly."
" I don't believe a word of it," said Mrs.
M., and ther, shaking, her fist at me, she
said, "O, you good-for-nothing wretch."
" I want to be a good boy," I said,
ni ekly ; but the thought of burning her
up alive came Into my head stronger than
ever, and it kept coming into my head in
spite of me.
"Your mistress will show you what to
do," observed old Macdonald, trotting
down stairs with a look of disappointment
on his face. My mistress surveyed me,
when he had gone, deliberately and care-
iuny, ior aDouc nan n minute; she then
grasped me by the hair of my head and
turned me round several times, like a hu
man corkscrew, to make her survey more
complete. After this she took hold of my
cms, one in eacn nana, ana Dumped my
head several times against the wall, which
operation seemed to complete the process
of examination.
"Yor area bad, deceitful bov," said she,
"but that Is no reason, after all, why you
should be denied a chance to earn your
bread. Come, let me see you wash these
dishes." It appeared that the junior boy
acted as servant-girl in old Macdonald's
establishment.
No boy ever washed dishes better than
I did that morning. I made them shine,
and they were very dirty, too. I wanted
to conciliate the old woman, if possibly.
The final wipe was being administered to
the last platter when my master appeared
in me room.
"How does he get along?" he Inquired
glancing at me.
"He does well enough," said the old
lady, "but he's so decitful in his looks."
" i ou ought to be ashamed of yourself,"
said my master, "to talk of a nice boy in
that manner."
My master's manner, as he spoke these
words, showed a little trenidatlon finite
justified, indeed, by the crisis they precip
itated, ino sooner were ms : words fairly
uttered than the old lady, whom I had
supposed to be quite feeble, snatched up a
dish-cloth and hurled It at her husband,
the slippery article lodging for a moment
on his noble Roman nose, then falling to
the floor with a splash: she then selected a
variety of articles and pelted us till we
left the room and went down stairs, and
just as we got to the bottom a wash-dish
tun ot soap-suds descended upon our
heads, the old lady being undoubtedly one
of the positive sort.
".aever mind, William," said the old
man, "what your mistress savs or does :
she is getting old and a little eccentric. I
hope you are not a revengeful youth."
"O no, sir," I answered, eagerly, ,;I
know we must always forgive and for
get."
"mat's right, my Doy," replied my
master, smiling through his soap-su is ;
"You know the plumber's shop over the
way." he continued.
"Yes, sir," I replied, "the shop with
the pump in the window."
"The very one," said he, "what a nice.
smart boy you are t I want you to go
over there and present this little bill, and
tell them mat Mr. Macdonald must have
the money. We can never get along with
out money, William."
I started immediately, very much
pleased, deeming my mistress's estimate
of my character totally erroneous, and
thinking that 1 was indeed a pretty nice
sort of a boy.
"What a good thing it is," thought I,
"to bo such a nice boy as I am." This
was my reflection as I knocked at the pri
vate door adjoining the plumber's shop,
for the shop itself was shut up, and there
were very few signs of business around
the premises. The door was opened bv a
slovenly-looking woman, who took the
bill and read it.
"Well," said she, looking at me in a
very peculiar manner, "You are a nice
boy."
"I know it," said I. smiling compla
cently, " I'm a very nice boy, and I work
for Mr. Macdonald."
"A very nice boy," repeated the woman.
and now her sarcasm became perfectly
plain, "when did you get out of New
gate? How do you like picking pockets ?
What do you mean, you young thief, by
coming here with your bills?" And with
that she slammed the door in my face.
and I went back to report in a somewhat
melancholy frame of mind, and told the
old man my story.
" I ou are a very nice hoy," said lie, "not
to lose your temper and throw a brick at
her."
'If I did that it would be wicked, sir,"
I said.
"Nevertheless," said my master, "one
of the first tilings to learn In a printing
office is perseverance ; so I will make out
a new bill and you shall go over again."
A nttio reluctantly, due pleased with
my master's flattery, I started once more.
The same woman opened the door, but
she took no notice or me, but called up
stairs, "Dick, Dick, come down;" and
very soon that gentleman the half
drunken, dirty plumber made his ap
pearance at the end of the passage-way.
"Just look here," said the woman,
pointing at me, "what a nice, young jail
bird old Mao has sent over now. Did ever
you see such a villainous face?" As she
said these words the man caught up a
broom that was standing near him, and
proceeded to "go" for me ; but as I went
considerably faster than he did, I arrived
safely ar. Macdonald's again.
"Never mind." said the old gentleman,
with a bland smile, "vou shall go again.
and say I'll send an officer. Never say
die, William ; nothing like perseverance.
i ou are a very nice Doy."
"Please, sir. I don't want' to go again."
I said.
Then," said he, with a horrible frown.
"then you won't be a nice boy." I made
no further objection, but went at once.
As I opened the door, who should I see
upon the sidewalk but the miserable
urchin who had opened the door to me at
first. Not knowing what his feelings to
wards me might be. I did not SDeak to
him, but he addressed me with easy fa-
uiiuaruy.
'i!.re," said he, "you dov. come 'ere."
"Wot do you want ?" said I, with stiff
reserve.
'Wot are vou a-letting 'em make a
monkey of you for?" he inquired, with
pitiful disdain.
"Wot do you mean?" I inquired, with
dignified curiosity.
"Why," said he, "they're making a
monkey 01 you sending you over mere
to get that money, whieh they knows
they'll never get It, which it's been ow
ing 17 years. They do it with all the new
boys."
"vot can be done.'" I inquired.
darkly, producing from his breeches-pocket
a small, brass cannon, about six inches
long. "Take your vengeance."
It was too bad. but lust at the moment
that the boy uttered, with stern emphasis,
the word "wengeance," the old man, who
had been watching us through the win
dow, suddenly opened the door and lug
ged the young man in by the collar of the
coat.
I will teach you," said Mr. M.. "to
corrupt such a nice boy as that." And
ne proceeded to teach mm oy means ot a
strap.
Watching the writhing form of the
naughty boy for one brief moment, and
again reflecting what an excellent thing it
was i De a nice dov, l departed again on
my mission. I knocked at the plumber's
door once more, and waited some time for
it to be opened, but. alas, in vain. I knock
ed again ; still no answer came. Finally,
i commenced a rather vigorous kicking at
the door. I had just got settled down in
this business, when a window above me
opened and a lot of dirty water descended
upon me like a shower-bath, while the
voice of the woman exclaimed :
" There, if that don't satisfy you, let us
know, and you can have some more."
RIDGWAY,
On the whole I thought it did satisfy
me. I was easily satisfied. I went back
to my master's in a saddened mood, re
flecting mournfully that being a nice boy,
like any other good thing, had Its draw-
dboks its ourdens, cares and responsi
bilities. What was mv astonishment and
dismay when the ojd man said with n
bland smile
" Weil. William: trv It again."
"Please, air, I can't," I replied. The
old man frowned his darkest frown, walk
ed straight to his drawer and took out his
strap.
"Please, sir," I said, "wot are vou a
going to do? I'll tell my father. Wot do
vou make such a nice bov as I am do such
queer jobs for? Wot is the use of a bey's
being a nice boy unless he can do as he
pleases?"
"foil nice boy," said the old man,
with feigned amazement, " why, you're
the worst boy I ever saw." Thereupon,
without unnecessary delay, he gave mo a
severe drubbing and sent me down stairs
to keep the other boy company. I did
not hesitate to approach the latter indi
vidual with suggestions of a practical na
ture. All resentment was washed away
In the billows of our common grief.
"Where's your old cannon?" said I,
coming to the point at once.
"Are you bound to take your wen
geance?" inquired the boy, cautiously
thrusting his nand into his pocket.
"Iam," I answered with stern deter
mination, "we'll load the cannon full of
powder and stones, and tie it to a brick,
and stick it on the post outside the door,
and make a fizgig and fire it through the
window at the old man when he goes to
shut up shop."
Although my companion was the happy
proprietor of the ordnance, and also en
joyed the ecstasy arising from the con
sciousness that his pockets were full of
loose powder and matches, besides, yet
the brilliant operation proposed by me
never seemed to have struck him. He
was delighted with it, and we carried out
our programme pretty fully, waiting till
8 o'clock to do so.
About that time Mr. Macdonald's at
tention was attracted by an appearance
resembling a small volcano on the post
outside his door. That appearance was
caused by the burning of my "fizgig."
Hardly had the old man opened the dojr
when a tremendous explosion startled
him out of his wits, while the stones from
the cannon smashed several of his win
dows. Then all was silent all save the
hurrying to and fro of startled pedestrians,
and the spasmodic shouts of "Po lice,"
"po lice," which proceeded from the
lungs of James Macdonald. Luckily,
Severn street was a "no thoroughfare"
street, on which there was little travel.
and so no horses were frightened.
J am sure we were glad of this, as we
walked unconcernedly down St. John's
road, looking like nice, innocent boys, as
we were. And I should be still more
glad if I had not the worst part of my
6tory to tell. But I had made a previous
agreement with the other boy to recover
the cannon, if possible, after the old man's
shop was shut up. With this Important
end in view, I crept slowly up Severn
street, about an hour after the explosion.
The brick and the cannon were on the
spot. All seemed still as the grave : no
light was to be seen. But just as I laid
my naiiu upon tne cannon, a neavy nanu
was laid upon me, which subseauent
events proved to be the hand of Mr. Mac
donald. He dragged me plavfullv into
the house ; he struck me affectionately on
my limbs and back and face witli a heavy
cane ; he kicked me enthusiastically a he
dragged me up stairs ; my hands and face
were bleeding when he thrust me into the
kitchen. The old woman was there, the
old man's strap in her hands. She struck
me furiously with the buckle end ; my
thumb was broken; It Is stiff to this day.
They thrashed me till they were tired,
and commenced again. Tlicy went be
yond all reason ; they had no mercy ; they
were devils, both of them, and had been
all their lives. They would have killed
me, but a workman ran up stairs and In
terceded for me
"Very well," said the old man, as I
crouched, trembling, in the corner, "we
will whip him no more to-night, but we'Jl
keep him here till morning, and see
whether his father will rather have him
whipped or sent to prison."
Saying which, the old man took me by
the collar and dragged "me up stairs.
Thrusting me into a dismal, unfurnished
garret, lie locked the door arid said:
"I hope the devil will run away with
you before morning." and left.
Little cared I for devils or goblins then;
I boiled and foamed with revengeful fury;
I paced the flour and wrung my hands
and prayed that the building might fall;
I cursed myself because I was powerless
to torture them to death, little by little.
I nursed my fury full two hours, when I
heard a voice in the room below the old
man's bed-room.
"It was foolish," said the old woman.
"Why?" Inquired my master.
"Because the boy might have matches
and burn us up alive."
"He would burn himself up, too," re
plied my master. ..
" Perhaps not," said she " the scuttle is
not fastened, and he could slide down the
gutter-pipe."
" He is too great a coward for that,"
said the old man, and that was all I heard
and all I wanted to hear. I had a match.
About two hours after this conversation
occurred I was walking painfully up the
St. John's road, In the direction of Isling
ton, when I heard the cry of "Fire!"
and, turning, I saw the flames lust dart
ing through the smoke in the direction of
evern street. 1 walked onward as fast as
I could, but that was slowly, turning now
and then to watch the progress of the
flames. When I reached the Angel inn at
Islington x looked and saw that the fire
was a bright, a glorious, a furious, a hot
Are, and I hoped that the old man and the
oia woman were in it and they were.
I turned my face from the fire for the
last time, and from London forever.
When, in the morning, I reached the town
of Barnet, the streets were fnll of the ter
rible catastrophe which had occurred the
night before of the burning of a man
and woman and bov to death.
No sympathy at all was expressed for
the old people, " because they had locked
the boy in the garret ;" but every heart
was bleeding with pity for the " poor lit
tle boy." So easy it is to make a mistake.
I suppose my friends always thought I
perished as reported. Better for them to
minx so man to Know the truth.
It is claimed that the climate of Alaska
tfl stofirlilv frrnwlno miliar that urhcM.na
it was formerly! impossible to raise veget
ables of any kind there, the hardier vari
eties are now regularly produced; and
that apple-trees transplanted from Califor
nia five years ago, are already bearing
fruit. It will be some years, however, be-
iure ino x erniory wiu do attractive as
winter resort.
Having, perhaps, found other efforts
n ociu d iiicuuuu unavailing, a number
of Trojau spinsters have adopted the inge
nious plan of veiling themselves closely,
and causing their male acquaintances to
take thtin out riding by lot from a
central rendezvous,
PA., THURSDAY, MARCH 20, 1873.
A Buddhist Legend.
I.n the village of Sarvathl there lived a
young wife named Keesah, who, at the
Bge of fourteen gave birth to a son : and
she loved him with all the love and Joy of
the possessor of a newly-found treasure,
for his face was like a golden cloud, his
eyes fair and tender as a blue lotus, and
his smile bright and beaming like the
morning light upon the dewy flower?.
But when the boy was fible to walk, and
could run about the house, there came a
day when he suddenly fell sick and died.
And Kecsah, not understanding what had
happened to her fair lotus-eyed boy,
clasped him to her bosom, and went about
the village from house to house, praying
and weeping, and beseeching the good
Eeonle to give her some medicine to cure
erbaby. But the villagers and neigh
bors, on seeing her, said :
" Is the girl mad, that she still bears
about on her breast the dead body of her
child ?"
At length a holy man, pitying the girl's
sorrow, said to himself: "Alas 1 this
Khesah does not understand the law of
death ; I will try to comfort her." And
he answered her, and said: "My good
girl, I cannot myself give you any medi
cine to cure your boy, but I know a holy
and wise physician who can."
" Oh I" said the young mother, "do
tell me who It is that I may go at once to
him!"
And the holy man replied : "He is
called the Buddah ; he alone can cure thy
child."
Then Keesah, on hearing this, was
comforted, and setouttofind;the Buddha,
still clasping to her heart the lifeless body
of her child. And when she found him,
she bowed down before him, and said :
" O mv lord and master 1 do you know
of any medicine that will cure my baby?"
And the Buddha replied and said:
"Yes. I know of one. but you must get
It forme."
And she asked : " What medicine do
you want? Tell me, that I may hasten in
search of It."
And the Buddha said : " I want onlv a
few grains of mustard-seed. Leave here
the boy, and go you and bring them to
me."
The girl refused to part with her babv.
but promised to get the seed for him. As
she was about to set out, the pitiful Bud
dha, recalling her, said :
"My sister, the mustard-seed that I
require must beiakenfrom a house where
no child, parent, husband, wife, relative,
or slave has ever died."
The young mother replied. " Verv good.
my lord :" and went her way, taking her
boy with her; and setting him astride on
her hip, with his lifeless head resting on
her bosom. Thus she went from house
to house; from palace to hut. begging for
some grains of mustard-seed. The people
said to her ; " Here are the seeds ; take
them, and go thy way." But she first
asked :
" In this, my friend's house, has there
ever died a child, a husband, a parent, or
a slave?"
And they one and all replied : "Ladv.
what is this that thou hast said ? Knowest
thou not that the living are few. but that
the dead are many? There is no such
house as thou seekest."
Then she went to other houses and
begged the grains of mustard-seed, which
they gladly gave her, but to her question
ings one said, " 1 have lost a son ;" an
other, "I have lost a parent;" and yet an
other , "I have lost a slave ;" and every
one and all of them made some such reply.
At last, not being able to discover a single
house free from the dead, whence she
could obtain the mustard-seed, and feel
ing utterly taint and weary, she sat her
self down upon a stone, with her baby in
her lap, and, thinking sadly, said to her
self, "Alas 1 this is a heavy task I have
undertaken. I am not the only one who
has lost her baby. Everywhere children
are dying, parents are dying, lo.ved ones
are dying, and everywhere they tell me
that the dead .are more numerous than the
living. Shall I then tnink only of my own
sorrow?"
Thinking thus, she suddenly summoned
courage to put away her sorrow for her
dead baby, and she carried him to the for
est and laid him down to rest under a tree,
and having covered him over with tender
leaves, and taken her last look of his loved
face, she betook herself once more to the
Buddha, and bowed betore him.
And he said to her : "Sister, hast thou
found the mustatd-eeed?''
"I have not, my lord," she replied; "for
the people In the village tell me there ia
no house in which some one has not died;
for the living are few, but the tlead are
many."
"And where is your baby?"
"I have laid him under a tree In the for
est, my lord," said Keesah gently.
Then said the Buddha to her; "You
have found the grains of mustard-seed
you thought that you alone had lost a son,
but now you have learned that the law of
death and of suffering is among all living
creatures, ahd that here there is no per
manence." On hearing this, Keesah was comforted,
and established in the path of virtue, and
was thenceforth called Keesah Godami,
the disciple of the Buddha. Mrs. Anna H.
Leonowens i " The Romance of the Harem."
Spain Increasing Complications.
Our news from Spain for the last few
days has been of a singularly muddled
character. One conclusion only has been
possible, and that Is that Spain is in a con
dition bordering upon chaos. The re
ports of one day differ from the reports
of every other. One day we are asked to
believe that the Kcpublio is an assured
victory. Next day the cause of Alphonso
is in the ascendant. To-day, strange to
say, we are asked to believe that legiti
macy, divine right and Ultramontanlsm
are once more in Spain to dominate the
situation. Olozaga, the Spanish Minister
In Paris, has notified his government by
telegraph that representatives of the Eu
ropean governments in Paris have decided
to send a collective note to the govern
ment of Spain declaring it to be their be
lief that their respective governments
will cease to hold diplomatic relations
with that country If any serious attempt
is made to proclaim a Federal Remiblic.
We must take news as we find it ; but it
does seem as if the European government
representatives in Paris were biking upon
them, If this report speaks truth, a little
too mnch responsibility. Surely it is not
their business to take such action. Al
lowing our readers to judge of this piece
of intelligence as they may think tit, we
are compelled to notice another singular
report. President Thiers, it is said, has
recognized the belligerent rights of the
Carlists. This news is scarcely less as
tounding than that to which we have just
called attention. It is Parisian in both
instances, and it is probable that this ac
counts for Its extraordinary character.
President Tillers has been a life-long op
ponent of divine right. How he can,
even in seeming, lend his influence to the
ojiiat cause, iii is uuucuib BuiiiBiautoruy
10 explain, is it possiDie inac dv encour
aging the cause of Don Carlos Presidem
'I hiers is of the opinion that he will ruin
the prospects of the Republic, which, in
his heart of hearts, he dislikes? It is nor
impossible that the Republic in Spain will
once again go down. It is quite clear
that the monarchical governments have
no sympathy with the present republican
experiment. If they can thwart It they
will. It Is not Impossible that Don Car
los in the confusion will rench the throne;
but if he should succeed we can hardly
think that his retention of power will be
of long duration. N. Y. Herald.
A Rare Case of Conscience.
One of those rare cases where con
science compels the restitution of stolen
property, often noted in story, but seldim
occurring in real life, transpired in our
city on Wednesday. The facts In brief are
as follows:
Mr. James Moore, hardware dealer, no
ticed a man loitering about in his store
yesterday morning, whose peculiar man
ner and occasional wistful glances plainly
denoted his desire to relieve his mind of
some burden. He remained some time
in the store, but finally took his departure
without stating his business.
In the afternoon he again made his ap
pearance with a companion. They seated
themselves near the s'.ove, and, after a
short time, the companion said his friend
had something to say to Mr. Moore,
who thereupon invited the man Into his
counting room. After a little hesita
tion he announced his errand which, he
said, was a desire to refund to Mr. Moore
the value of articles stolen from his store.
He said that, for a number of ye:irs past,
he had. at different times, purloined arti
cles of hardware from the store, and that
lately the crime had weighed heavily up
on his conscience; that he had been unable
to eat or sleep In consequence, and that
he wanted to make all the reparation in
his power.
He then took from hig pocket-book a $5
bill, which he handed to Mr. Moore, ask
ing if it was enough. Mr. Moore replied
that he knew nothing of the matter, or
the amount taken, and asked if it was not
too much. After some little deliberation
the man took another $5 note from his
pocket and said he thought that was none
too much, and would not more than cover
the value of the things he had stolen.
During the forenoon of the same day
he visited the store of Ward, Humphrey
& Dodge, and, taking Mr. Humphrey
aside, he said he had stolen from his store,
at a previous time, a number of ch'sels,
which ho took from his pocket. They
were in a new, bright condition, evident
ly never having been used, and he said
they had not. He related his story of his
thieving, operations to Mr. Humphrey,
and said that it had been a sort of mania
with him; that he had been In the employ
of a man in the town where he lived for
fifteen years, and that no suspicion of his
propensities was entertained by his
friends. He talked very freely about
himself, asserting that he had suffered se
vere pangs of conscience through re
morse, and was determined In future to
remain strictly honest. He urged Mr.
Humphrey to accept $10, which he ten
dered him but the money was refused.
After leaving the store he went i!own
to D. L. Guernsey's bookstore, and,
calling him to one side, presented an old
copy of the New Hampshire Register,
whieh, he said, lie had stolen from him
some time ago, and wished to pay for.
lie uurst into tews as he made the confes
sion, and said that he had freauentlv in
dulged his peculating disposition there,
and desired tc make ample restitution.
He also related the story of his com n unc
tions to Mr. Guernsey, and stated that he
had been converted to religion. He paid
down five or six dolars, which he thought
would cover the value ot goods abstract
ed.
The above were all the visitations the
man made In this city; and those with
whom he conversed, and to whom he
made restitution, were satisfied that his
repentance was sincere. His character is
represented by those who have known
him tor years to ne good; and it must
have been a genuine work of conscience
which made him confess that he secretly
deserved an opposite reputation. Wo
have the man's name and location, but
deem it lulproper to publish them, as it
would be wrong to engra't a stigma on
the reputation of one who has, as above
described, acted so honorably and exhib
ited proof of true repentance lor past mis
deeds. N. II. Patriot.
The Queen's Grammar.
It is. of course, well understood that
the Queen's speeches are written by her
ministers. Her present government hap
pens to contain in the First Lord of the
Treasury and the Chancellor of the Ex
chequer", two very distinguished classical
scholars. Yet bad as the grammar of the
Queen's speeches usually Is, the Ministry
seem this t mo to have surpassed them
selves. The Queen herself writes when
she chooses to address her. subjects per
sonally very simple and digniiltd Eng
lish. But who could read without trans
lation such a sentence as the following ?
The thanks of the government are ex
tended to the arbitrators for"th? care be
stowed by them on the peaful adjust
ment of controversies such as could not
but impede the full prevalence of national
good-will in a case where it was specially
to be cherished." This conundrum we
leave the reader to render into English ;
he may succeed by dint of running it
through two or three times. Again,
when the government wishes to say that
they were able to go on with the arbitra
tion because the indirect claims had been
excluded, they record that the Queen
"was enabled to prosecute the Inquiry In
consequence of the exclusion of the indi
rect claims." We do not think a state
document should be flippant or familiar,
are sufficient to express any plain fact In
weros wuicn are at once ciear anu uigni
fled. Hearth and Home.
"Joking Going ou Here J"
Old Uncle Jimmy, as he was called, al
ways took a leading 'part as one of the
congregation, and sometimes the "beys"
thought he interested nimseit a nttie more
than was necessarv about their affairs and
doings, for he was always lecturing some
one about their "morals," and exposing
their bad deeds to the public. So they
("the boys") concluded they would break
mm oi mis naoit.
The schoolhouse in which the services
were conducted was arranged In the old
style, the seats running round the Bides
of the room. Now, Uncle Jimmy had one
particular seat, which he always claimed
and occupied during services.
New for the nlan of attack, which was
thus : A small hole was made through the
scat, and a common darning-needle fast
ened to a wooden soring under the seat.
to which was attached a string running
round the entire room parallel with the
seat; the string was fastened to the spring
so that when it was pulled in a certain
direction it would cause the needle to pass
ud through the seat, and whoever happen
ed to be on It would receive the full benefit
of the situation.
tt ell, lue units euuio lur tuu tnai buo
boys were all there early. At last, Uncle
Jimmy came lu and dropped into his ac
customed seat. No sooner had he touched,
however, than he bounded up again,
with a yeU that might easily have been
mistaken for that of a mad bull. On look
ing around. lcr the cause of his sudden dls-
comfort, he could find nothing, and soon
all was quiet again.
After the service had begun, some one
gave the string nnother slight pull, when
Uncle Jimmy shouted out :
"Joking going on here I"
The minister and congregation looked
at him, and some of them rose In their
seats; but, as before, everything quieted
down, and services proceeded.
After awhile, forgetting his troubles,
Uncle Jimmy gradually went off into the
"Land of Noel," when the string was
again Jerked, more resolutely than before.
Uncle Jimmy jumped up again, rubbing
the afflicted parts, and exclaiming :
"Joking joking going on here !"
This time the parson and deacons gath
ered round him, and the boys, being no
longer able to hold in, burst out laughing,
In which the rest of the congregation soon
followed suit.
A more thorough search was made, the
needle found, but not the boys. Exchange.
Jess So.
In Reno, near Virginia City, Nov., a
wealthy ranch proprietor named Jess,
somewhat advanced in years, was brought
to a peculiar sense of his domestio loneli
ness Dy some unmentioned experience of
the last winter, and became suddenly alive
to the grievous disadvantage of living in
a territory almost wholly destitute of eli
gible female society. In his forlornness
he took a trusted acquaintance nnd poor
neighbor named Leonard into his confi
dence, bewailing the social situation thit
should leave a presentable old bachelor of
his pecuniary qualifications without a
mistress to address, and was charmed to
hear that it was within the power of
friendship to import for him a young lady
of a virtue and prettiness worth any man's
fortune. Since their coming from one of
the Atlantic States two of three years pre
vious. Leonard and his wife had pros
pered too seantily to feel fustitted In send
ing for their daughter, Florence, whom
they had left In a dependent position
with relatives ; but upon ascertaining as
above the matrimonial inclinations of the
rich and easy-going Mr. Jess, the parents
ionceived that here was a rare chance to
at once bring their child to the Pacific
and establish her, and mayhap themselves,
enviably for life. The girl's photograph
was shown to the pleased ranchman, with
the assurance that its original was a per
fectly obedient daughter and could be
pledged absolutely: and the result was
that a letter, encloslno' money, was
promptly sent to Miss Florehecin the East,
utdding hi
enistle said nothing about the matrimoni
al conspiracy, however, and somewhere
between San Francisco and Reno the un
suspicious maiden became acquainted
with a fellow-traVeler named Littletield.
young printer, aho on the way
to the latter place, whose recip
rocated love at first sight was destined
to work dramatic effects in the general
comedy. It was under the courteous es
cort of thii other new arrival that she
gained her father's door, and the slight
grace of parental gratitude with which
ne was dismissed gave a decided Chill to
her own sense of welcome. After that
the revelation of the purpose of her sum
mons trom so lar away, and the Introduc
tion of Mr. Joee, found bor iu as littlo
mood for filial submission and maidenly
approval as they deserved. Possibly Miss
ieonaru mignt nave Deen more readily
controlled in the matter had not her heart
been already interested elsewhere, for she
was not naturally given much io selt-will:
but now not all the ranchman's money
could make the owner toler ible to her;
and the more she revolted from the Idea
of being sold like merchandise, the bold-r
she became to escape the paternal bar
gain by any possible means. Littletleld
olid not venture to visit the house whither
1 lis first welcome had been so unpromis
ing, but Florence soon contrived to meet
him elsewhere and confided to him her
predicament. His response was a heartv
offer of himself iu marriage ; the event to
be attained by strategy. The girl con
sented as heartily, and together they ma
tured a scheme to be carried out as fol
lows i Miss Leonard was to seem to as
sent t(J the marriage with Mr. Jess, but
insist that it shot'ld be solemnized on a
certain day by Bishop Wliitaker, In Vir-
inia uity. Arriving witn me eapccinnt
ridegroom In the latter town, she was to
send him out from the hotel to look for
the bishop's house, and then slip away
herself to that house in company with the
duly awaiting Littletleld. The plot, ays
the Territorial Enterprise, was actually put
into execution some two weeks ago. The
rich ranchman left his bride-elect at the
International Hotel, in Virginia' City, to
inquire his way to the specified parsonage,
reaching the bishop's just in time to be
greeted by the spectacle of his more ac
tive and hitherto untnown rival's tri
umphant wedding. "You're too late,
old man,'. said Littlefleld. "Well, so It
appears," responded the outwitted msn
much demoralized for a time, but sensible
enough to return philosophic'alJy to Reno
thereafter without useless protestations.
. How Drinking Causes Apoplexy.
It Is the essential nature of al! wines and
spirits to send an increased amotint of
blood to the brain. The first effect of
taking a glass of wine or stronger form of
alcohol, is to send the blood there faster
than common, hence the circulation that
gives the red face. It increases the activ
Ity of tbe brain, and it works faster, and
so noes me tongue, mini inc uiuuu gqes
to the brain faster than coinmofi, it re
turns faster, and no special harm results
But suppose a man keeps on drinking, me
blood is sent to the brain so fast, and in
such large dUantities, that in order to
make room for it the arteries have to en
large themselves; they increase in size,
and in so doing they press against the
more vieldinff and flaccid veins which
carry the blood out of the brain, and thus
diminish their size, their pores, the result
being that the blood Is not only carried to
the arteries of the Dram iastcr man is na
tural or healthf ul, but it is prevented from
leaving it as fast as usual ; hence a double
set of causes of death are in operation. A
man may drink enough brandy or otner
spirits in a few hours, or even minutes, to
bring on a fatal ateacK oi apopiexy.
How Much will Keep a Horse.
A horse weighing from ten to twelve
hundred nounds will eat about six tons
of hay, or its equivalent, In a year. And
wn Riinnose the real Dolnt to get at is.
whether one can Keep ms norse cneaper
on some other product than hay. This Is
an exceedingly difficult question to an
. . .
swerit deDends so much on circumstan
ces. We snail not attempt to answer it
Illliy at mis nine, uui, wui merely oajr
that, in our opinion, three and a half tons
of corn stalks and two and a half tons of
corn would keep a horse a year in fully as
cood condition as six tons of good hay.
We may estimate, also, that it will take
three and a half tons of oat straw, and
two and a half torn of oats to keep
horse a year. A bushel of oats weighs
thirtv-two nounds. so that it will take
over 155 bushels and three and a half tons
of straw to keep a horse a year. It would
take about two acres of good land to pro
duce this amount. .Am. stcK joumat.
NUMBER 3;
Hints to Owners of Watches.
A watch is a most delicate machine,
and a very little thing is enough to dam
age its system, anu mane it go too nisi i
too slow, or to arrest the motion of Its
wheels, and it is just that ve'y little thing
that you don't take any notice of. Show
us your watch, and we'll tell you what
arelho habits of its owner. '
A person of Irregular habits will spoil
the best watch in the world. Careless and
Inexact people will always have watches
that go fast or slow or that eo both too
fast and too slow by turns. If you can't
be steady and regular in your habits, yon
need not expect to have a watch that yon
can rely on.
All the best watchmakers in the world
will bo unable to give your watch that
regularity which is lacking In yourself,
and which you cannot, therefore, preserve
In your watch, and which you destroy as
fast as the watch is regulated. For a
watch should be wound up every day at
the same hour, and as soon as possible in
the morning. And the best occasion for
doing this is when the minute-hand marks
seven or ten minutes nfcer the hour-hand
has marked the hour.
The operailon of winding up a watch
should never be performed carelessly or
roughly; but, on the contrary, with great
precaution, especially at the moment when
you give the final turn to the key. Then
you should gently moderate the move- .
ment, so as not to wind the watch up too
tight.
You should alwavs take good care to fit
the key perfectly Into the key-hole before
commencing.
It is not a good plan to carry the key
about with you. unless it is kept in a case;
and never carry It loose In your pocket,
as It Is liable to get dust Into it, which you
will Introduce into the watch, irom time
to time. In winding it up, to its great
detriment.
Never, under any circumstances but
those of extreme necessity, open the In
terior compartment that which contains
the macliinery of the watch.
In winding up the watch, the hand
which holds it should remain perfectly
steady and without motion.
The hands may be advanced or set back,
when necessary, without any harm bein
done to the watch, although contrary to
the popular notion on tle subject.
The diflerencc of temperature, or the
habit which some have of carrying the
watch nbout the person for a period, and
again leaving it motionless for a great
length of time on some piece of furniture,
may cause a slight irregularity in the Desu
watch.
Whether the hands are advanced or set
back, we should never touch the regula
tor, as long as the defect fa trifling.
The crystal case ot the watcn stiouiu
never be opened, except by the watch
maker. Bv keeping these rules In mind, and
putting them in practice, people would
iiave less trouble with their watches, and
far less need of the services of a watch
maker. Exchange.
A Clever Stratagem and Hs Result.
The York World details the manner In
which Mrs. Slater, a resident ot East Fif
teenth street, trapped and brougnt to
grief an individual who had attempted to
blackmail her. After a correspondence
between the parties, the alleged black
mailer, whose name is McLaughlin, was
induced to visit hi3 supposed victim. Tue
result of his visit Is given as follows :
McLaughlin, now sure of his game, pre
sented himself almost defiantly at the
house, stalked into the parlor, w:hither lie
was ushered by the servant, and while
Mrs. Slater was being announced. Lahey
(a detective concealed in an adjoining
room), who was at his post, observed the
rascal grinning at himself in the mirror
and smoothing his hair. On Mrs. Slater's,
entrance, McLaughlin saluted her with a
half ceremonious, half patronizing air, sat
down on a lounge and crossed his legs.
Mrs. Slater went through the secrecy
pantomime of shutting the doors and
sitting down on a lounge, heard the story
of the scandal, the particulars of which
need not be repeated. McLaughlin arrived
at the end of his story, hesitating a litile,
and Mrs. Slater helped him out by saying
that the scandal must be stopped.
"Weil." replied "Friend," nothing more
easy." "How?" inquired the lady. "Vou
fee"," said the blackmailer, "this .'irl has
been married and wants to get a set of
furniture. Now I have no interest in the
matter, but I am acting as your friend,
and I think $25 would stop her mouth."
This was beating about the bush, so that
Mrs. Slater went a little further and asked
him if she gave him 2o would he stop
the scandal. McLaughlin said he would
do It for that sum. and Mrs. Slater pulled
out her purse and handed him two fciu
and one $5 bills which had been previ
ously marked by her husband and the
detective, "if rienu" was aoouu pu ung
the money in his wallet when Lahey
stepped round to the door of the front
parlor, and opening it made him his
prisoner. McLaughlin was taken to the
Twenty-second Street Station House,
where he fretted, fumed and blustered for
at least ten minutes, and then made a
clean breast of the matter, and acknowl
edged that the scandal In which he had
Implicated Mrs. Slater had no foundation
in fact. The police have ascertained that
when arrested McLaughlin was perfecting
two other schemes for blackmailing, aim
that he had during the past week victim
ized several persons, among them two
priests.
The Strength of Timber.
The strength of a piece of timber de
pends upon the part of the tree from
which it la taken. Up to a certain age,
the heart of the tree is the best ; after that
period, it begins to fail gradually. The
worst part oi me tree is tne sap-woou,
which is next the bark. It Is softer than
the othr parts of the wood, and la Halite
to premature decay. The deleterious
component of the sap-wood is absorbed,
if the tree is allowed to grow ior a longer
period, and in time the old sap-wood be
comes proper timber-fiber similar to heart-
wood, uence, tne goodness oi a tree, ior
timber purposes, depends on the ago at
which the tree was cut down. When
?oung, the heart-wood is the best ; at mat
urity, with the exception of the. sap
wood, the trunk is equally good through
out; and, wnen me tree is aiioweu uj
grow too long, the heart-wood is the first
ta show symptoms of weakness, and de
teriorates gradually.
The best timDer is secured Dy ieiung
the tree at the age of maturity, widen de
pends on Its nature as well as on the soli
and climate. The ash, beech, elm, and fl r,
are generally considered at their best
when of 70 or 80 years' growth, and the
oak is seldom at its best In less time than
100 years, but much depends on surround
ing circumstances. As a rule, trees
should not be cut before arriving at ma
turity, because there is then too much
sap-wood, and the durability ot the tim
ber is much inferior to that of trees felled
after they have arrived at their full de
velopment. Popular Science Monthly.
King Oscar, of Sweden, has accepted
the title of admiral in the Danish fleet.