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HIITST A. PAE80X& Jb Editor jjd Pramm.
ELK OOVNtrTJIB REPUBLICAN PA RT7. .
Two Dollars xa Amrrjit.
VOL. II.
RIDGWAY, PA,. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1872.
NO. 29.
it 1 lip ff isl
POETJR T.
THE HERMIT OF AXBTROVE.
T IUB1II C. HILTUtt.
An aga sum with beaded form,
And hair ot snowy whit.,
Stood near bit mnnntaln hermitage.
In morning', early light.
Upon his oaken staff he leaned,
And tamed with eager gu ;
Where on the distant mountain gleamed
Tho snnllght'a golden ram.
And a he thus In silence stood.
The sunlight filled, the air ;
And upward to the Irving God,
Bl rolce arose In prayer.
And aa he prayed, a gentle yonth.
With weary step drew near ;
HI. ehtek wai pale, and on hli brow
A world of grlefB appear.
" What asketh then," the old man aald,
" Th. Hermit of Alstrore -
Thy day. should bo all happln.H,
Thin. eg. a tlm. of loTfc"
. "Oh, father," whispered forth th. reola,
"All men reran thy nam. i
In far off landi hay. atrangers heard
Thy wltdom and thy lame."
" Thy gentl. heart, thy cheering word.,
May gnlde my iteps aright i
for from afar my weary feet
Have songht yon giddy height."
" Up wher. th. morning .untight bathe,
The eragi with golden flame ;
They tell me on the hlgheit peak
There bloom, the wreath of fame.
" Oh, father, I would grasp that wreath,
And kind It on my brow ;
Bat all th. path, are .teep and hard.
And I am weary now."
Beset with thorn, and dark raTlnea,
My way has been s. slow ;
Oh tell me of some gentler path
My weary feet may g. I"
" Ala. 1 my son, thy prayer Is Tain,"
The aged man replied
" Thy path is rongh, and cold, and drear,
Along yon mountain side,"
" But fix the burning gac. al.ft,
Avoid the paths of sin ;
Be patient, tireless, and thou shalt
At last thy tree tore win."
" Tho faint of heart hath never it on
Be foremost In the fray ;
far In the battle's Ufa may brlmr,
No sluggard gains th. day."
THE STOUT-TELLER.
"DOCTOR JOHN."
M A Doctor'i life is a strange one I"
muttered Dr. John Hessman, as he
jumped into his carriage, taking the
reins from the hands of the grinning
Ethiopian who, for the last twenty
uuiuujb, aau Deen cnerismng the fond
.delusion that ho was to accompany his
master on his round of professional in
quiry.
" Not this time, Ebony," said the dec
tor, with a good natured shrug of his
broad shoulders. "You can come to
morrow," noting the look of disappoint
ment in the boy's face. Dr. John was
mora tender of his servants than some
men are of their wives.
"Oh, never mind, Massa, never
mind J" replied Ebony, like the average
human, quite forgetful of annoyance
when the subject of consideration was
distasteful. " I knows what 'tis. I just
knows what 'tis," added Ebony, as he
watched the carriage out of sight.
" He's got one of his spells, and wants
to talk to hisself ; I hnow him of old.
If 'twas anybody but Dr. John, I should
just say, 'Ebony, that man has got
softening of the skull j but no such
nonsense can be laid to him."
Dr. John did want to be alone, .or as
muoh alone as a man could be in the
streets ef a crowded city, and he did
want to talk to himself. Most men
who are in the . habit of communing
with their own souls, do it in audible
language ; so in this respect, whatever
he might be in others, Dr. John did not
differ from his brethren. A man's own
opinion is not uufrequently his best and
safest companion. It will keep its
owner's secrets, and when the compan
ionship is frequent, will in all cases
properly guide and admonish. Self
communism in its highest form is the
avenue which leads directly to the
heart of God.
" Yes," continued the doctor, " yes,
sir." (Sometimes Dr. John was very re
spectful to himself.) " A doctor's life is
no joke. Easy, my beauty, easy I Now,
John, look at that horse. You are only
just a little more of an animal than he
is. It's fun for him to travel when
there's another horse close by that he
can outrun. Exactly the case with
you, John. If it hadurt been for anoth
er horse in the shape of a doctor you
were determined to get a little the start
f, where would you have been to-day ?
That's the point Worthy ambition, eh ?
to pass a poor devil on the road of life I
Upon my word, I believe I should be a
better man if I had a wife. I rather like
women ; but it is a little hard to under
stand how a fellow manages with a wo
man tied to him morning noon and
night That's what takes me. Then, I
am not sure that anybody'd have me
that was anyways suitable. Of course, I
should want intelligence, and intellectu
ality, too, by George I and I never could
endure a plain woman, or a woman with
a loud voice, or Yes, sir, that ques
tion is in order," continued the doctor,
stroking his long, silky, black beard.
" That is what I call drivingthe nail in.
What have you got John Hessman, to
give in exchange for these royal treasures
of mind and body f A good name yes ;
an exceptionable position, unimpeacha
ble integrity yes, sir. These are some
thing ;" and here our M. D., reined up
before an elegant brown stone mansion,
where one of his best (pecuniarily speak
ing) and most fashionable patients re
sided. Here Dr. John was employed by
the year; and although the position was
no sinecure, on account of the amount of
patience required to battle with the
nervous fancies of the principal invalid
of the establishment, still Dr. John, to
use hit own telling vernacular, consider
ed it an exceedingly soft thing "and
soft it was in store senses than one.
Dr. John walked right up into the
invalid's chamber.
" Oh, good morning, doctor. A little
late area t you r1 Seems to me I have been
waiting an unusual length of time,"
drawled the lady from her luxurious
couch.
"About the usual hour," replied Dr.
John, with no especial show of deference.
" What seems to bo the matter thi morn
ing?" " Now, really, doctor, that is too cruel.
Matter (Am merning I Do you remem
ber what was the matter yesterday 'i
Please don't be so blunt. You shock
my nerves terribly."
" Let me see," said the doctor. " Yes
terday, according to your own admission,
you were fagged out with a fashionable
party and a late supper. That of course,
cannot be the case to-day."
" I know I should not have attempted
it in my weak state, doctor. I know
just what you will think of it," sighed
the fashionable woman from her downy
bed. "But then you men never will
understand what society demands of us
women. Dear Estelle (dear Estelle was
the invalid's daughter) had quite set her
heart on going to Mrs. Donk's reception.
Of course I could not allow the dear
child to ge unattended, and bless your
heart Dr. Hessman, the girl's father
would not accompany her to a party if
she fell dead in consequence. Oh, Lord,
such a time as I did have about it, try
ing to induce Mr. Waters to escort her.
I really believe that scene had more to
do with my suffering to-day than the
party had. Dear me, such a set man as
Mr. Waters is I I told him says I,
" William, this may result in my death 1"
Says he" When a woman gets to be
forty years old, and don't know eneugh
to take care of her own health and the
health of her children, it is time she
died ;" and then, doctor, he lit his cigar
and puffed out of the house. I tell you
this because I want you to know what
has so unnerved me, and that you may
not lay it all to the party. Estelle is
quite ill, too, doctor, and when you have
written out my prescription I wish you
would walk into the next room and see
her."
Dr. John knew that something must
be administered or his profession would
be irretrievably ruined, so with a quiet
smile playing around his large mouth
(Dr. John's mouth was really very large,
and truth compels us to state that he
had an under-jaw to match, though the
rows ef uaexceptionably white and even
teeth, and the silken chin-covering, glossy
and soft as a woman's hair, entirely
redeemed the lower part of his face from
ugliness) the physician wrote the few
necessary Latin words, among which
aqua seemed really the most conspicuous,
and then passed into the other room.
The doctor knew what awaited him.
This little game had been tried nore than
once before.
" Good morning, Miss Estelle," said
Dr. John, approaching the sofa where
the languid beauty reclined. "Your
mother tells me you are ill."
Miss Estelle, with almost an impatient
gesture, brushed back the floating hair
from her temples carelessly and really
unintentionally, it would seem, baring
by the motion one of tho most beautiful
arms that sculptor ever waved about
and replied :
" Your manner seems to say, Miss
Estelle, you are always ill. Why don't
you behave yourself Y, " Oh, how happy
I should be, Dr. John, if you would once
in your lite be kind to me. I do really
think something is the matter with my
heart. What if I should die ?"
No picture of Watteau's could ever
have been more witching, more charm
ingly colored, than the little form before
him. Every accessory of toilet had been
brought to bear upon the citadel of his
heart and to a handsome woman no
dress is so becoming as the negligee of her
boudoir, with its lace and fantastio em
broidery, slippered feet and graceful
posture. Then the vases filled with
flowers, the mirrors, and jewels, and per
fumes, and enticing lolling chairs.
Heigho 1 many a strong man has bowed
to such a shrine made a fool of himself
for life when in the glare and glitter
of the drawing room no such nonsense
would have been thought of.
Dr. John acknowledged the beauty of
this picture. It was dainty, piquant
dangerous. It had been dished up for
him on several previous occasions, but
never so much to his mind as now. The
beauty's manner was earnest and almost
supplioating. What man could fail to
be appreciative under such circumstan
ces 'f Remember, too, that Doctor John
was longing to be loved had that
morning almost prayed that heaven
would send aim a little bundle of. com
fort in the shape of a good wife, and it
will not be strange that, notwithstand
ing the efforts previously made to en
trap him, he should think only of the
present loveliness.
"What are you reading, Miss Es
telle ' " asked Dr. John, after a moment
of appreciative scrutiny. " Wilson's Es
says, eh '" and the doctor's face showed
all the surprise and pleasure felt by its
owner. "And upon my word, if here
isn't Emerson. That is healthy food,
rather heavy, though, I should think,
for a sick girl!"
Miss Estelle drew a long breath. For
the first time in the twelve months of
trial had she received one single word
of compliment or commendation from
the man whom her mother had deter
mined she should marry.
" And, as true as 1 live, another book
under the pillow. Really, I have some
curiosity to know the title of that vol
ume also," continued the doctor almost
caressingly.
" Oh, it is nothing," replied the would
be invalid, languidly, " but a stupid
cookery book that I got from the library.
Mother depends upon me, you see, lor
our desserts, and I can tell you that
sometimes my ingenuity is sorely test
ed." One little hand tucked the volume
further under the pillow, while the oth
er, unconsciously, of course, dropped
upon the doctor's. With the white, jew
eled fingers lying on his, the fair daz
zling face upturned, the words which
would have doomed him to misery all
the days of his life were almost spoken.
Alow wonderfully and providentially
little things sometimes appear to save
from desolation and death! The hand
witn which she had striven to hide the
partially conooaled volume had strange'
ly enough, lifted the frill of the pillow
and disolosed both title and author one
of the most mischievous and recklessly
written books ever translated into the
English language.
For a moment the doctor sat silent
with horror and astonishment. Not so
much that the woman before him had
developed a taste for Buch literature, but
that she could bo unblushingly he to
him.
" I do not think," said he, at last
" that you need any medicine. So you
have my permission to study the cook
book under your pillow as diligently as
you may feel disposed. It is pleasant
to knew that fashienable young ladies
are possessed of such domcstio and
literary tastes. Good morning, Miss
Waters."
Dr. John passed out of that abode of
luxury sick at heart
'' I came vpry near losing myself in
that trap. What confounded fools men
are !"
The thought was rather humiliating,
and Dr. John was unable to shake it off
during the day ; and when he turned
his horse's head homeward it was with a
feeling of disgust and loneliness never
before experienced.
" Pretty much all alike, I'm afraid,"
he continued softly to himself.
J ust then a little figure in the middle
of the street attracted his attention. A
child, to all appearance not a day over
five years, with uplifted arms stood,
heedless of danger, looking straight in
his face. Quicker than I can tell, Dr.
John had jumped from his carriage,
seized the little creature and placed her
on the seat beside him.
" You were in great danger, my dear,"
said the doctor," looking down into the
singularly sweet and intelligent young
face. " What made you stand in the
middle of the crowded street ?
" Are you a doctor '" was the only re
ply vouchsafed.
" By profession, yes, little miss, and
by name John Hessman. Have you any
commands for his highness 'r"'
" If you are a doctor, I want- you to
go home with me, and if you are not,
please tell me where I can find one. My
sister Kate is sick awful sick and she
talks and sings all the time , and I
haven't got any money neither has
she ; but she will die if somebody don't
come."
" I am a doctor, and will ge home
with you, little darling," said our friend,
involuntarily drawing the sobbing child
toward him. " Don't cry ; I can help
her if anybody can."
Before they arrived at the residence
of the sick girl, Dr. John had discovered,
by skillful questioning, that the child's
name was Florence Britton the sister's
Kate Britton ; that Kate wrote stories,
and made reports, and sometimes was
out late at night taking notes and pre
paring articles for the press, that she
had not been well during the winter,
and for the last three weeks had been
unable to attend to her literary duties,
and was now suffering from brain fever.
The room which the doctor entered was
plainly and neatly furnished, and bore
unmistakable marks of refinement and
womanly taste.
" Kate," said the little girl, climbing
into the bed where her sister lay moan
ing with pain "sister Kate, I have
brought a doctor to see you. I found
him in the street, and he says he can
make you well. Look at him, Katie
he is very kind."
" Cuddle right down beside me, Flory
darling; There, that's a good little girl.
Go to sleep, don't mind sister Kate
she's only got a headache. Say your
prayers, murmured the girl, even in
delirium, thoughtful of her precious
charge.
Here was a case to rouse Dr. John's
energies a case which appealed to his
sympathy and respect a case, so far as
he was able to judge, of utter loneliness
and destitution. So, like the good man
he was, he set himself to work in good
earnest A good nurse was procured,
necessary articles were brought into the
house, and over all he watched as if the
sufferer had been his own sister. The
fourth day the invalid awoke to con-
sciousness.and looked at Dr. John straight
in the face.
" Where am I f " said she, attempting
to rise.
" At home," he replied. " Please be
very quiet."
" Where is Flora r
" Asleep by your Bide. Don't ask any
more questions."
" Who are you t" she continued, ap
parently oblivious to the command.
" John Hessman at your service, and
at present your self-constituted physi
cian, who will be oboyed ! Now drink
this beef-tea take Flory's little hand
in yours and go straight to sleep." - -
YY ith a sigh of relief, a smile, a mo
mentary attempt to keep her eyes open
a little longer, and the invalid was
sleeping as quietly as an infant.
Four weeks from that day, Miss Kate
Britton rode out in the doctor's carriage,
almost as well as ever.
Dr. John looked unutterable things,
as he jumped into his gig and took his
seat beside her. Very like the day a
month ago when he had something par
ticular to say to himself only now he
evidently had a communication to make
to another.
" It will be safe for me to resume my
writing to-morrow j will it not doctor 'f
inquired Kate, the first to break the si
lence. "I feel better and stronger to
day than I have for a year."
" No, little girl," replied the doctor.
" It will not be safe for you to resume
your writing in six months I"
" Oh, doctor, you are only joking now ;
I know you are," said Kate, noting the
look of amusement in his expressive
eyes.
" No, Kate, indeed I am not joking.
You shall never go back to that drudgery
again, if I can help it"
The hot blood mounted olear to Kate's
temples. "Dr. Hessman," she contin
ued, assuming a business-like manner,
" but for you I should have been in my
grave 1"
"In all probability," broke ia her
companion with more truth than modesty.
"Well," she continued, "you have
saved my life, kept my darling little
sister from starvotion cared for us both
as though we had boon your own kin
dred I But how can I ever"
" There, child, stop right where you
are. Never, if you have any regard for
my feelings, allow that word to slip from
your lips. I want to take you and
Flory to my home, an4 make your hap.
piness my care. I want a wife and a
sister ; will you be the first ? Perhaps
yeu don't love me exactly but I know
I can make you love me I"
" But 1 do love you I" said Miss Kate
under her breath."
"All right, then! Will you go?'
She went.
Dr. John scarcely ever talks to him
self now.
Ladies of Olden Time.
History and tradition offer many
types of beautiful womanhood. The
grace and loveliness of Greece, the more
heroic grandeur of old Borne, the social
and personal equality, so to speak, of the
white-armed Scandinavian women, the
domestic activities and courtly ladyhood
ef the medieval chatelaine, all these, and
many more, are as pictures, wherein we
see represented the ideal woman, each
perfect after its kind, and all beautiful.
In saying this we must of course, allow
for the difference of custom between
then and now, and not judge according
to the religion of our 19th century drawing-room.
Now the rule is for men to pay atten
tion to women, and to prevent their
doing the most trifling act for them
selves, and " serving " is the last thing
our ladies think of; then though this
" then " is very wide, both in race and
chronology the distinctive quality of
womanhood was her service, and the
more lovely and perfect the lady no
matter what her nation or her era the
more thoroughly she performed the as
signed functions of her state, and the
more inextricable her ladyhood was
connected with such performance.
Queens and princesses bound up the
wounds of, and poured out wine for their
lords and knights ; and in that pretty
story of " Walthere and the Lady Hil
degund," Walthere is represented as
falling in love with the lady while she
is serving him with wine.
Also, in the story of "Beowulf,"
Hrothgar's queen, the noble Wealtheow,
advanced from her seat to bear the cup
to her husband, and greetingly " bade
him to be blithe at the beer-di inking, he
who was dear to his people." Then she
went round the hall, offering tho cup,
and distributing gifts to each. At
length the " ring-adorned queen, exalt
ed in mind," bore the mead-cup to
Beowulf himself, and, "sagacious in
words," addressed the hero in flattering
terms. The same kind of thing prevails
in some of the more northern parts of
Europe to this day ; and to our mind
the picture of our young daughters of
the house themselves serving the guests
not as inferiors, be it understood, but
as the dispensers, of hospitality and wel
come is a far more lovely manifestation
than the silent automatic attendance of
half a dozen men in livtry, who have
reduced " waiting at table " to a science,
wherein he is the greatest profioient who
is the most mechanical and the least
human.
American Cookery.
It is a blessed thing that the frying
pan is fleeing before the march of civili
sation, even if in its flight it leaves many
a Parthian sting in the stomach of mid
dle age. Nowadays only the country
tavern breakfast, let us hope, fries
things corned beef, it is said, with the
rest and ends itself, and perhaps the
delicate traveller, with pickles and pie.
The frying-pan has made many martyrs,
but of the two utensils, so far as we
know, it is only the gridiron that has
ever made a bona fide saint, although
more than one dyspeptic, I fear, canon
ized solely by the frying-pam, has mis
taken a change ef stomach for a change
of heart. So the hotel breakfast is fre
quently good ; not so much because it
takes an unusual degree of perverse
talent to spoil a chop or a boiled, egg,
as because the breakfast is cooked to
order, seldom fried, and eaten generally
with its first natnral flush upon it
- The misfortune to the urban beefsteak
of our day, it would seem, is that in
too many kitchens it has jumped from
the frying-pan into the fire. And to
burn in boiling is the unpardonable sin
of cookery. But with breakfast unfor
tunately, the euirine of the groat hotel is
too apt to end its successes, since we take
for granted that on the tables of men or
women truly wise there's no such thing
as supper, or at least that those with
whom erring costume has linked the
twilight sadness of tea and preserves
take little thought to themselves as to
the tea Wherewith . they shall be drug
ged or the preserves wherewithal they
shall be depressed.
The acute observer who has boarded
long at a hotel may, through many ex
periments and by a series of hungry in
ductions, learn with some degree of ex
actness when his favorite dishes are just
done, and arranging his dinner-hour ac
cordingly, he may dine almost as well
as he has breakfasted. This, however,
is possible only when the cook is good,
which is far from being always the case.
Cooking, indeed, is like leve not quite
unpurchasable, yet hard to buy, so no
ble is the art so noble, in fact e-re both
arts. To state it mildly, about half the
cooks, male and female, are bad ; and if
yours of the hotel is one of them, your
dinner will be the usual culinary mis
cegenation, and even your breakfast
will have the peculiar Amercanism of
cookery, whioh is grease. Lippincvtfs
Magazine.
The London liilk Journal says : " In
England, the system of associated dai
ries steadily gains ground, and butter
factories on this principle are being
opened. The quality also of the butter
is steadily improving, and bids fair to
rival that produoed in Holstein and
Mechlenberg, whioh now stands first in
that market."
Fashions for Men and Women Gentle
men's Underwear Ladles' Dresses.
ITarper'i Bazar gives patterns and de
scriptions of gentlemen's under-clothing,
and adds : -
The French yoke shirt is now univers
ally jrorn. There is a fancy among
vents wrinkling the bosom, but the
gre.ter number prefer the old fashion of
but;oning tho bosom. A fashionable
shirt front has no pleats, but is merely
doubled linen with an inner layer of
muslin, making three thicknesseB. A
row of stitching, or perhaps three or
four small cord stitched near the edge,
are the approved ornaments. These plain
bos ims are easily made, easily ironed,
tak j the starch well,, and will wear bet
ter than pleated bosoms that are alter
nately thick and thin. When pleated
bosoms are preferred, two wide pleats, or
at most three, are used. ' To keep the
shirt front Bmooth a linon loop with a
but ion-hole in it may be attached to the
end of the bosom and buttoned to the
wai itband of tho drawers. New York
Mills muslin and the Wamsutta brand
are commended for shirtings. For shirts
entirely of linen thore are substantial
qua lities of linen for the body of the
shirt and very sheer linen for the bosom.
Thire should be a separate supply of
cuff as well as oollars. Square cuffs of
three thicknesses of linen are buttoned
on outside the narrow wristband of the
sloe re. .
ladies' costumes.
Tho imnnrtfitinna nt Pall nntlnmu
shoy many handsome dresses with novel
tmimings. BKirts or costumes lor the
Btrc et and houtia are nnnhnncHd in iknp
and some, we regret to say, are long
enough to drag slightly behind. Instead
ui me promised simplicity ot trimming,
the are heaw wit.h flrtnnrf rtlon.fino'a
bows, ond other ornaments.
OVER-SKIRTS.
Of er-skirts and polonaises abound, but
there are many handsome dresses with
out them, or, at least, with but a scarf
like semblance of them ; they will last
thr mgh the Winter season, but indica
tions aro that they will be gradually
abandoned. In their new shape they
aro not literally upper skirts draped
over an under-skirt of similar shape, as
the now are, but are parts of upper
skii ts and intricately draped breadths,
d'es.gned, it soems, to display the elab
orate trimming of the skirt beneath.
For instance, many dresses have merely
aprons on their front breadths, while the
back widths are trimmed to the waist ;
others have the under-skirt trimmed in
front, with an over-skirt behind : while
by far the greater number have an
apron-front over-skirt with scarf-like
back breadths hanging like sashes, or in
tricately arapea, twisted, and tied, in a
manner that defies description.
Polonaises are arranged with tho same
scarf-like breadths behind, and have
sashes, belts, and postilion backs. The
effect of the complete costume is similar
to that now worn ; the front is plain and
without gathers, while the back is very
bouffant. Dresses of past seasons can be
easily ehanged to the new styles.
BASQUES AND TESTS.
The basque remains the favorite cor
sage. It is made with and without pos
tilion pleats. There is a fancy for putting
the postilion pleats in the side body
seams, leaving the middle seam plain.
TV seam down the middle of the back
is universal, and newest French corsages
add an extra seam, beginning on the
shoulder half way between the neck and
armholos, and extending to the end of
the basque. This makes three seams
dov-n the middle of the back, and the
side -body seams make five j the side body
extends quite forward to the front
Some modistes object to cutting up the
con age in this fashion, but it makes a
moi-t shapely waist. French blouse
wai its will remain popular.
ests will also continue to be worn.
In many cases they are separate from
the basque front. The basque is then
turned back in revers that meet in a
point on the breast are fastened there
by a Bingle button, and recede below.
leaving the vest in relief about the neck
and waist Bevers of velvet are used on
woollen and silk dresses.
Bretelles also reappear on many new
dresses. They are of velvet, bias, cut
very narrow at the waist and extending
wider toward the shoulders. They cross
over - the shoulders, and pass down tho
back in similar shape. This trimming
is usually becoming, as it gives the ap
pearance of broad shoulders and a taper
ing waist.
SLEEVES.
New sleeves are simple and pretty.
having all the comfort of a coat sleeve,
with the graceful effect of a flowing
sleeve. They are, in fact closely fitted
coat sleeves with the wrist turned back
from the outer seam in a triangular re
vers, while a pleated frill or gathered
rufile is inserted in this opening, and
left to hang in the way under-sleeves
are now worn.
Absent-Minded Peofls are Funny.
Sir Isaao Newton wanted his servant
to carry out a stove that was getting too
hot. A fellow stole his dinner before
his eyes, and he afterwards thought he
had eaten it because he saw the dishes
empty. A Scotch professor walked into
the middle of a horse pond while pon
dering on Final Causes. Ben. Franklin
punched down the fire with the finger of
a young lady sitting at his side, and se
verely burned the lily white poker. A
gentleman in Troy received a letter in
the dark, used the letter to light a lamp,
and looked about for it to read. Pere
Gratry, one day in Paris, thinking he
had left his watch at home, took it out
of his pocket to see if he had time to go
back after it. Neander, the church his
torian, used to go to his lectures in his
night-cap and night-gown, and some
times walked in the gutter. But all
those cases do not equal that of the man
who takes a paper year after year and
always forgets to pay tor it.
Mr. James New, of Norwich, Conn.,
named his first-born Something; it was
Something new. The next he called
Nothing ; it being Nothing New.
The Indians In St. Louis An IoterTlew
With Spotted TalLr
The St Louis Democrat contains the
following account of the recent visit of
Spotted Tail and his companions to that
oity :
At dinner White wash-in-his-Kye
called to him a waiter, who said " Ugh I"
as a delicate compliment, and handod
him a bill of faro. The chieftain pointed
to the first item and said " Ugh I " The
waiter said " Ugh ! " and returned with
a cup of coffee. Now, even though a
cup of coffee is a good thing, it is hard
ly a meal for a man. So the brave said
" Ugh 1 again, and pointed to the sec
ond itom. The waiter said " Ugh I " re
tired, and returned with a cup of green
tea. A third interchange of " Ughs ! "
resulted in a cup of black tea, and a
fourth in a cup ot mixed tea. In despair
the brave uttered an angry " Ugh 1 "
that made the waiter turn pale, and
pointed to the last item on the bill, evi
dently being anxious to get as far away
from the teas as possible. The waiter
faltered " Ugh 1 " and hurried back with
a tumbler of iced tea.
The other, warned by the example'
and fate of their comrade, attacked the
bill of fare in medias ret. One struck
" pay oat" under the head " broiled,"
and had an abundant if not varied meal
of mutton chops, veal cutlets, broiled
chicken, pork chops, sirloin steak, porter-house
steak, Boston steak, &o. Com
bining their information, the remaining
members of the party wandered over the
bill of fare, taking every division by
starts, and none ot them long. The re
sult was eminently satisfactory to the
aboriginal stomach, winch is capacious
and has no prejudices as to the succes
sion and relative proportions of soup,
fish, game, entrees, boiled, roast game
and dessert
Ono erratie brave owed his matutinal
distension to a judicious compound of :
1, conee : i, cantelope ; 3, ice cream : 4,
Irish stew ; 5, steak ; 6, Worcester
sauce ; 7, mustard ; 8, melon ; 0, fried
potatoes; 10, mackerel; 11, Graham
bread; 12, iced tea; 13, fried eggs; 14,
sliced tomatoes, and, 15, buttered toast,
and his bosom was rent with emotion
when he found that the waiter shook his
head when the line S3F" Guests having
friends to dinner will please give notice
at the office was indicated.
Yesterday aiternoon the Democrat re
porter waited en Hon. Spotted Tail to
interview him. Mr. S. T. was found in
his room reclining on an elegant velvet
fauteuil. He wore a crimson-silk dress
ing gown, patent-leather slippers and a
velvet skull cap. His fonin is massive
aud vigorous, and his countenance open.
The distinguished gentleman from Da
kota having uttered a gutteral " Ugh 1
inspired probably by a sight of the re
porter's closely shingled hair, the follow
ing conversation took place :
Reporter Are you satisfied with the
result of your journey Y
Uovcrnor Spotted Tnil Smoke-all.
the-Day is a great brave. He will take
care of his children. He will give us
guns and gimlets. His chief, - Little
Phil, is not like him. He hates the red
man. He gives him guns, but the right
end is not first.
Reporter What is your opinion of
the contest between Grant and Greeley '(
Colonel Spotted Tail Smoke-ali-the-
Day is a brave ; he has seen foes ; his
heart did not melt. Bquash-with-the-Short-Horn
is a woman. His tongue is
loud. Brown-Crab-with-the-soft-shell
loves the fire-water. His knees are
weak.
Reporter I gather, then, from your
conversation, Bir, that you do not eat
crow ?
Dr. Spotted Tail No-na, the sheep,
eats the grass. He-he, the ass, eats the
thistle. The red man eats the partridge,
Wanawan ; he does not eat crow, (Jaw-
caw. The great spirit took (Jaw-caw,
the crow ; he painted him black, that he
might work in the dark and not be seen.
He made his bill sharp to tear. He made
his eye keen to see a foe. He made his
wings Btrong to fly. If a warrior eats
Caw-caw, the crow, his spirit will go
into him. The warrior will be black, to
do work that is not clean ; he will be
sharp, to tear the prey ; he will be
Bwift, to fly. Spotted Tail and his tribe
cannot eat crow.
Reporter How do you like our city?
Major Spotted Tail It is a good town.
Little Skunk (Chicago) is not so good.
Heap squaw, much scalp.
The Democrat reporter finally arose
and took his leave. Professor Spotted
Tail assured him that the Democrat was
his favorite organ, and desired to have
it mailed regularly. It made no matter
by which mail it went, as they captured
a mail train daily.
Xecessary Rules for Sleep.
There is no fact more clearly estab
lished in the physiology of man than
this, that tho brain expands its energies
and itself during the hours of wakeful
ness, and that these are recuperated
during sleep. If the recuperation does
not equal the expenditure, the brain
withers this is insanity. Thus it is
that in early English history, persons
who were condemned to death, by being
prevented from sleeping, always died
raving maniacs ; thus it is also that
those who are starved to death become
insane ; the brain is not nourished and
they cannot sleep.
The practical influences are three:
1st Those who think most who do the
most brain work, require the most tleep.
2d. The time " saved " from neeessary
sleep is infallibly destructive to mind,
body, and estate. 3d. Give yeurself,
your children, your servants, give all
that are under you, the fullest amount
of sleep they will take, by compelling
them to ge to bed at some regular, early
hour, and to rise in the morning the
moment they wake ; and within a fort
night Nature, with almost the regu
larity of the rising sun, will unloose the
bonds of sleep the moment enough re
pose has been secured for the wants of
the system. This is the only safe and
efficient rule; and as to the question
how much sleep any one requires, each
must be a rule for himself great Nature
will never fail to write it out to the ob
server under the regulation just given.
Facts and Figures.
A St. Louis man advertises for "a
girl to work in hair." He is evidently a
bachelor.
A blacksmith in Essex. Pa., inform
hia patrons in a notice that " No horso
will be shod on Sunday except sickness
and death."
Connecticut is credited with tho lazi
est fisherman. The individual in ques
tion is a " fifteenth amendment" who
ties his fish-line t his dog, and when he
gets a bite kicks the dog.
" Ike," Baid Mrs. Partington, " how do
astronomers measure the distance of the
sun 'i" " Why," replied young hopeful,
" they guesses a quarter ot the distance,
and then, multiplies by four."
There is a Shawnee divine whose name
is Rev. Dr. Whitefeather. If this thing
gpes on, we shall have Rev. Dr. Up-a-tree,
and Right Rev. Bishop Black -a-a-orow,
and the Hon. Mr. On-the-fi nee.
Sir Charles Lyell deolares that the
entire continent of North America will
be washed away into the ocean in four
and a half million years. And yet the
people take an interest in real estate I
A Springfield Common Councilman -
surprised his contemporaries by his
knowledge of sinful games the other
night, by responding pass " when his
name was called on a yea and nay
vote.
He who betrays another's secret, be
cause he has quarreled with him, was
never worthy f the sacred name of
friend ; a breach ot kindness at one side
will net justify a breach of tnifit on the
other.
" Would you take the last cent a per
son has for a glass of eoda water l1" asked
a Kankakee youth. " Yes," responded
the unthinking proprietor; whqreupon
hopotul pulled out the cent and got the
drink.
The Cedar-Rapids folks complain that
there is no sidewalk leading to the cem
etery, and their editor out there con
solingly assures them that if they will
only have patience, they can all ride
some day.
The Christian Review believes that
ministers are bound to obey the Ten
Commandments as well as laymen, and
that they have no right to work seven
days in the week. As they cannot take
Sunday as their reBt-day, they should
set apart some other day.
There is a man in Portland who sup
ports his family in handsome style by
simply tying an able-bodied cat by th
tail to a clothes'-line every night, and
then going out in the morning to collect
the soap, shaving cups, brushes, etc.,
thrown into the yard by angry boarders
in adjoining houses.
Dr. Gross, the celebrated surgeon, was
once dangerously ill. Soon after his re
covery, he met one f his lady-patient),
who remarked to him : " O doctor, I
rejoice that you are out again 1 Had we
lost you, our good people would have
died by the dozen." " Thank you, mad
am," replied the affable doctor ; " but
now I fear they will die by the Gross."
Two neighbors living in Westchester
county had a long and envenomed liti
gation about a small spring, which they
both claimed. Tho Judge, wearied out
with the cose, at last said : " What is
the use of making a fuss about a little
water 'i" " Your Honor will see tho uso
of it," replied ono of the lawyers, " when
I inform you that the parties are beth
milkmen !"
Love and romance by telegraph are
one of the institutions of this enter
prising age. Mr. Soudauior, Superin
tendent of the Government Telegraph
in Great Britain, in reporting on the
effects of employing male and female
operators, says that it not only " raises
the tone" of the men, but leads to
friendships, and even matrimonial en
gagements at opposite ends of the line.
The milkman is a great institution in
Rio de Janeiro ; his cart is on legs in
stead ef wheels. The cow herself is
driven round to the houses to supply the
customers, always accompanied by a
calf, sometimes a year old, muzled and
tied to her tail. This method would
seem to insure fine milk ; yet we learn
that it is quite necessary to watch the
operation of milking to make sure
of it.
The first Japan i tea. of any conse
quence, received in this country was in
1859-60, when we imported 865,300
pounds. From that small beginning
our imports have gone on increasing
each succeeding year, till in 1870-71 the
shipments from Japan reached 13,449,-
157 pounds, or about per cent, oi ail
the tea we imported in that year. The
quantity imported in 1871-72 has al
ready reaohed 11,482,173 pounds.
The appearance of the late American
iron clad Stonewall steaming into one
of the harbors of Japan created consid
erable astonishment on board a Dutch
craft that was crawling slowly out, and
the skipper, thinking that any thing
strange upon the water must be Eng
lish, hailed ber with " v at sheep is aat,
and was puzzled for the rest of his voy
age by the hoarse response from a Yan
kee officer, " No sheep, but a ram."
A fellow of eighteen summers invested
in a banana on the cars recently. He
carefully removed the peel, and put it
on the seat by his side ; then he broke
the fruit up in small bits, eyeing it
anxiously as he did so. When this was
done he picked up the peel, shook it in
his lap, and finally threw the pieoes out
of the window, remarking as be did so :
" That's the fust of them prize-packages
I ever bought, and it's the last ene, you
bet."
The American Congress is not the
only august or is it august 1 body
whose members sometimes get drunk.
A writer in the Graphic, himself a mem
ber of Parliament describes some dis
tressing and disgraceful oases of the
sort in one of which during the pres
ent session the tipsy member, endeavor
ing to speak without recognition from
the speaker, a friend went round in
frout of the gentleman and pushed him
down into his seat whioh operation was
facilitated by the state of his knees,