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HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher,
ELK COUNTY THE ItE P U D L 1 CA N . T A RT Y.
Two Dollars ter Akhtjm.
VOL. II.
B IlIDGWAY, PA,. THURSDAY, AUGUST 1, 1872.
NO. 22.
POISTJI Y.
this old Couple.
BTI.OCinKcnANDLCRMnri.TON.
They sat in th. sun together,
Till the day l almost dons,
And then at Its closo an antral
Stepped over the threshold stone.
Iln folded tholr hands togcthor,
Ho touched their eyelids with balm.
And their last breath floated npward
Llko the closo of a solemn psalm.
Like bridal pair they traversed
The unseen, mystical road.
That leads to the Beautiful City,
Whose Bulldor and Sinker Is God.
l'erhaps, In that miracle country,
' Thoy whl (rive her lost youth hack,
And the flowers of a vanished Sprinu-Uino
' Shall bloom in the spirit's track.'
One drancnt of the living waters
Shall restore his manhood's prime.
And eternal years shnll measure
The love that outlives time.
But the shapes they left behind them
Tho wrlnklos and stiver hair
Made sacred to us bv the kisses
Tho angel imprinted there
We'll hide away in th. meadow,
When tho snn Is low in tho west.
Where the moonbeams cannot And them.
Nor the wind distnrb their rest.
But we'll let no tell-tale tombstone,
With Its ago and date, arise
O'or tho two who are old no longor
In tholr Father's house in the skies.
THE STORY-TELLEll.
MRS. DOBB'S YOUXGEST.
A TALE OF HORROR I
Mis. Theophilus Dobb's remark wtis
nut complimentary, and I am quito
aware that, under ordinary circum
stances, any man of spirit would have
resented it. To paraphrase, slightly,
the observation of that blessed martyr,
" Mariana in tho Moated Grange,"
I only said, I am aweary, aweary."
" You're a downright fool !" she taid.
I have strong conviction that, if I had
taken the trouble, I could have dis
proved this rather sweeping assertion
though, certainly, subsequent events
seemed to corroborate her opinion but
I did not even attempt to contradict it.
Tho fact was, that I had an object in
keeping Mrs. D.'s good graces. I was
paying attention to Miss Jenny Bird,
and Theo. Dobb and his wife were that
young Udy's guardians. In short, I
had about made up my mind to request
Miss Jenny to become Mts. Smith-Preston.
y me way, my name is omirn-i res
ton, legally. The latter half was con
ferred on me by a formal act of our
highly honorable legislature, my uncle
Preston having devised me his property
on condition? that I assumed his patro
nymic. But tho great majority of my
malo friends though perfectly ac
quainted with this important fact
persistently ignore it. It is by no means
pleasant, when one wishes to make a
otriking impression, and has just been
introduced to a desirable acquaintance by
tho rather aristocraetic title of Preston,
to have some booby rush up, with as
much clatter as a ruuaway mule would
make, and shout out at the top of his
strident voice :
"Hullo, Smith, my boy! how's old
Smith V the last question referring to
my paternal progenitor, who, I cannot
deny, is "old Smith" still.
And that brings me back to my origi
nal subject. It was for making a per
fectly natural observation of the same
tenor as tho above, that Mrs. Thoophilus
Dobb pronounced mo a downright fool.
As 1 have already stated, I did not even
contradict, much less resent, her unkind
remark. I was payingattention to her
pretty ward, Miss Jenny Bird.
B ut, after all, I should have prospered
quite as well if I had Bhown a proper
spirit on. that particular occasion.
Moses was, undoubtedly, a very celebra
ted man, and he was meek ; but meek
ness, as a general rule, is not becoming
to a man. My meekness, in my inter
course with Mrs. D., did not procure
me any favor ; far less did it aid me to
attain my heart's desire. I suppose I
may as well tell tho whole Btory just as
it happened. After you have heard it,
I fear you will say that Mrs. Theophilus
Dobb was more than half right. Per
haps she was for I feel very meek on
the threshold of my confession but still
I contend she had no earthly right to
tell mo sa in the presence of Miss Jenny
Bird.
Do you know what an enfant terrible
is, fair reader '( If not, you had better
study French and find out. I found out
without studying Trench. Mrs. Dobb's
youngest taught mo in ono lesson. Mrs.
Theo. Dobb was a matron of many
years' standing, and of her children, tho
name was Legion. How many sho had
oxactly, I neveii know ; but I do know
that, by some stupendous miracle, they
were nil young, and that they pervaded
everything. Lover would have had a
better chance for a tete-a-tete in the
inidst of au excited Irish political meet
ing than in any corner of the Dobb man
sion. It was, doubtless, owing to the
fact that the Legion always had its own
sweet will, and was always prepisely
where it was not wanted, that, up to
the time of which I am about to write,
I had never found an opportunity to
ask Miss Jenny Bird the direct question
whether she would' allow me to trans
form hor from a Bird into a bride. And
ts tho rear-guard of the Legion Mrs.
Dobb's youngest I owe the bitter recol
lection that I never did put that impor
tant question to that young lady.
Mr. Dobb's vounsrest was what is
facetiously called a playful child. Mrs.
Dobb's friends invariably imprecated
the direst anathemas upon this interest
ing infant in the silence ot their inner
hearts, and openly lauded him to the
skies as so full of spirits." More diplo
matio lying was done about Theophilus
Dobb, junior, than Machiavel ever
dreamed of poroetratinsr: for, as usual
in such cases, her voun&rest was tke
mother's favorite, and if any one desired
to retain Mrs. Dobb's good will, they
incontinently praised the child, even
when suffering excruciating agonies of
mind or body, the result of one of its
" playful " tricks. Chubby, dirty, odor
ous of bread and butter, about seven
years old and remarkably precocious,
Theo. Dobb, junior, was the inearnation
of malicious mischief and thereby hangs
my tale.
On the occasion referred to, I,, how
ever, felt sure that I should have an op-
Eortunity to put tho decisive question,
ravely resolving that I would at once
cmbraco it and Miss Jenny, provided
her answer was favorable. How well I
remember my dress and general appear
ance on that eventful day 1 I am de
cidedly tall and rather spare of person
my detractors even say that I am lank
and that my long legs resemble pipe
stems. That this is pure slander I need
scarcely observe, but I need not stop to
refute it now. Suffice it to say that my
figure is elegant and distingue, and that
on that day I was get up, in an appro
priate costume, regardless of expense.
It was a water-paity. A friend of
mine had built a steamboat and invited
mo to bring my friends and have a jolly
timo on the trial-trip of the vessel. As
it was a nautical occasion and in the
midst of summer, I wore garments suit
ed to the season and the situation. My
nether man was clad in nankeen inex
pressibles, tight at tho hips and remark
ably flowing about the ankles. A
gorgeously embroidered blue shirt, with
a wide collar a la motelut, clothed my
stalwart chest, and over this I donned
an abbrieviated jucketof nankeen, with
out a pavticle of tail, and of the style
technically known as " round." A sailor
hat of straw with a broad bluo ribbon,
its long ends floating gracefully down
behind, completed my costume, and I
defy the most malignant critic to pro
nounce it inappropriate or unbecoming.
I felt it becoming, for it set off
my peculiar style of manly beauty to a
charm, and I should have had no alloy
whatever in my cup of happiness, if
Briggs Toady Briggs, as his best friends
call him had not been of tho party.
A pushing, arrogant, disagreeable fel
low is that Briggs. I never liked him,
but he would persist in thrusting him
self upon me, and he intruded in just
the same way upon Mists Bird. If I had
but told him what she often said about
him
Well, that's neither here nor there.
I never did tell him, and here he was,
this boautiful, bright, sunshiny morn
ingdressed as if he was going to a ball,
and really looking very well, for him
obscuring my sunshine and clouding my
enjoyment by persistently sticking, in
his usual obtrusive, self-sufficient way,
as close as a limpet to a rock, to Miss
Jenny's side. He would carry her para
sol, and follow her around the deck with
a camp-stool, and fan her with a palm
leaf, and adjust her lorgnette talking
and endeavoring to be witty all the time,
in such a ridiculous way, that the dear
girl was absolutely obliged to choke
herself with her moncJioir to prevent her
self from laughing in his very face so
that, positively, I was unable to get a
single confidential word with her until
the boat was quite out at sea, and, hav
ing been bilious for more than a week, I
began to feel rather qualmish.
I told him, a dozen times, that ho was
making a fool of himself, and that she
was quite disgusted with the nonsense
he was uttering, not to say anything of
his officiousness; but he had too good
an opinion of himself and his wit to
heed my kindly warning, and very im
pertinently told mo to go to well to go
to the court of his Satanic majesty and
agitate myself. He said shako my
self," but I wish to soften the vulgarity
of his remark, as much as possible, when
repeating it to ears polite. I did not go
to the place he mentioned, but I was
sufficiently agitated, both by his inso
lence and the motion of the vessel, to
feel the necessity of a few moment's re
pose. Accordingly, I retired from the
contest with my usual grace leaving
bim burdened with tho camp-stool, tho
lorgnetto, the fan, tho parasol and the
reproaches of his conscience, not to men
tion Miss Jenny herself and sought a
secluded spot where I might recline at
my ease and meditate upon the speech I
meant to mako to the young lady, which
I now determined to utter as wo return
ed into the harbor.
I found a cool, quiet spot on the top
of a long box, under the awning en the
forward deck, and my biliousness hav
ing been somewhat relieved by a small
ttiKse of cognac, which the steward kind
ly brought mo, I stretched myself at
length upon the box, and turning my
back to the merry-makers aft, plunged
into a delightful reverie. The attitude,
the breeze, the measured clank of the
machinery, ami the brandy, all invited
me to repose, and nothing could have
added to my cantent if Briggs and Le
gion had been left behind. But unfor
tuutttely Briggs was there, usurping my
post at Miss Jennie's side, and Legion
was there, kicking up an infernal racket
all about the dock. And, wors of all,
Mrs. Dobb's youngest was there, com
manding the legion with all the fuss
and vociferation of a first-class genoral
of the modern school, and making more
noise in ono minute than a battery of
six pounders, worked by veteran artil
lerists, could possibly make in an
hour.
An energetic objurgation, uttered in
my most peremptory tones, scattered
this hordo of light infant-ry, and even
created a panic in the mind of their
commander, Mrs. Debb's youngest, for
he set tho example as many modern
commanders havo done of retreating
from mv vicinitv. and their shrill
voices havin died away in the distance,
I gradually fell into a peaceful slum
ber.
I cannot say how long I slept, but it
must have been for some hours, for
when I awoke I found that tho vessel
had begun to retrace her course, and
was already some distance within the
mouth of tho harbor. This fact dawned
upon me gradually as I stared about
mo, while slowly collecting my thought
and coming to a realizing sense ot where
I was. When I was quite awake I be
gan to bo surprised at the unusual si
lenco that reigned around me,and another
fact suddonly and disagreeably present
ed itself. The wholo company had gone
down into the cabin to partake of the
generous feast provided lor us by our
host, and had coolly loft mo sleeping,
forgetting mo as if I had been of no ac
count whatever.
Breathing dire vows of vengeance, I
scrambled off the. box in haste, and
without pausing to examine the state
.r. x ft l .1-1 .ffi J
oi my to let, rusueu on vuwm mo tum
panionway. But if I was .enraged at
thus being neglected, ore I reached the
Btairenso all my wrath had vanished
for, sitting ponsively alone upon the
quarter-deck, I beheld tho object of my
heart s adoration, Miss Jennie mrd. All
thought of feasting vanished from my
mind. Hero was tho feast of reason
and the flow of soul in short, hero was
my opportunity of putting the all-important
question which was to decide
my future fate. I did not hesitate ; not
a being was near save ourselves ; no
such felicitous occasion might present
itself again in years. Without premed
itation or preparation I rushed franti
cally forward, and before she could
have g.f.iiered an idea of my desperate
purpose, I had thrown myself at her feet I
What meant that crimson blush
which, in a moment, dyed her neck and
cheek and brow as with a flood of color '
Did sho anticipate my design, and while
preparing herself to requite my fervent
adoration, shield herself behind that
vivid signal of maidenly modesty, as if
erecting a rampart to check my too
passionate ardor ' Perhaps. Neverthe
less, there was evidently an even strong
er emotion agitating hor inmost soul. I
could not but pei'ceivo that somothiug
beyond mere modesty and surprise
moved her. A strange convulsion shook
her fair form from head to foot ; her
eyes seemed starting from their dilated
orbits ; the blush deepened upon hsr
angelic face until it really seemed more
liko an apoplectic congestion; and
while, with both hands, sho appeared to
be stuffing her laco mouchoir into hor
half-opened mouth, a singulur, rattling
noise in her throat filled me with tho
dreadful alarm that sho was choking.
As I was starting to my feet, fright
ened half to death at these symptoms of
what seemed te bo an approaching fat,
the sound of voices and footsteps on the
stairs behind me indicated the return of
tho guests from the banquet. They
were led by Briggs who had only left
Miss Jenny for a moment while he went
to fetch her forgotten parasol and by
the time I had attained an erect posture,
they trooped upon tho deck. Imagine
my astonishment when I beheld each
one of them, Briggs foremost, start back
in alarm, stare at mo wildly, and then
double up, like two-foot rules, in perfect
paroxysms of laughter. I turned slowly
around, gazing at each, one in turn in
profound dismay, and at my movement
the storm of mirth redoubled j whilo, to
crown my mortification and distress, it
became plain to mo that it was not a fit,
but a severe struggle to repress her own
mirth, which had caused Miss Jenny's
convulsive action.
The laughter continued, peal upon
peal, during the spaco of three or four
minutes. It was clear, I thought, that
they were laughing at the joko of hav
ing caused me to lose my ilinner, and
my rage, rising higher and higher every
moment, was at tho point of exploding
in some act of violence, of which, un
doubtedly, Briggs would have felt tho
weight. But at this crisis that disgust
ing individual, perhaps seeing tho im
minence of my fury, seized me by the
arm, and with some difficulty ,on account
of his continued mirth, drew me into
the entrance of tho companionway.
The interior of this structure was lined
with splendid mirrors, and as soon as I
was within it, I could behold my full
length figure clearly reflected in the
shining glass.
Horror on horror's head accumulate !
What was it that I did behold in those
fatal mirrors V My own graceful form
transformed into the striking semblance
of a gigantic Shanghai rooster! Was I
dreaming ' Was I under the influence
of some diabolical, magical spell 't Ha !
the infernal truth rushes on mo with
the force of an avalanche. I am the
victim yes, there can be no doubt of it
the victim ot circumstances and tho
malevolence of that dwarf fiend in hu
man form Mrs. Dobb's youngest!
Why dwell on that agonizing experi
ence? Let me end mo tale as he did
bv tho shortest nossiblo process. Find
ing me peacefully sleeping, defenseless
and at his mercy, the little wretch had
stolen a feather pillow from the cabin,
and with the aid of a convenient tar-
bucket on deck, plastered my posterior
with layer upon layer ot leathers, until
they formed a huge appendage that pro
truded more than two feet behind me,
and hung down in waving folds precise
ly like the tail of a half-starved ostrich.
Not content with that, he had orna
mented my bald head with a central
row of tar and leathers, in imitation of
a cock r-comb, and when you recollect
thut I am tall and spare, and how I was
dressed, perhaps you can form some idea
ot tho picture 1 presented.
If you can't, I'm not going to help
you, you may be sure. ,-
When that steamboat reached her
dock, or by what means 1 reached my
domicile, I have never known unto this
day. But this I do know, that the day
before yesterday I received an invita
tion to the wedding of Miss Jennie Bird
with that odious Briggs. The best wish
I can give them is that they may be
compelled to pass their honeymoon in
the society ot Airs. Dobb s youngest.
Franlc Leslies' Illustrated A'etcspajjer.
A speculative drayman at Paducah,
Ky., professes to have discovered a verit
able pool of Bethesda. It is said that a
certain woman was afflicted with the
dropsy and she fell asleep, and lo, there
appeared unto her a dream. And in her
dream she saw an angel, and the angel
said unto her eo and dig a well at a cer
tain place and drink of tho waters, and
thou shalt be . healed. . And she went
and did as the angel commanded her
and was healed ot her disease. Now,
this poor drayman owns the laud where
that well is, and thinks to find a little
profit in it by bottling tho waters and
selling them.
Manners of tlio Bay.
A writer of the Chicago Time de
plores the lack of courtesy in these days,
and illustrates as follows :
You step into a justices office. A
young man sits near enough a desk to
make a footrack of it, reading a paper.
You are after the istice, and you ask
in a tone, greatly modulated by experi
ence of lormer rebttrls, it he is in. x ou
stand in waiting until the young man
has finished his paragraph, when he
gives you the benefit of a casual inspec
tion, and resumes his paper.incidentally
remarking that he thinks not.
rut upon, but not discouraged, you
resume :
" When is he likely to be in r"
Feebly, " Can't say," devouring anoth
er paragraph about a boy being chawed
up by a dog in Iowa. In doubt whether
you may safely ask another question,
you still muster up courage enough to
inquire :
" Where will I be likely to find him f
Without looking up,
" In Milwaukee."
Irritated at this cool trifling with
time and patience, you demand :
" Uould you not havo said as much at
first 'f"
Imperturbablv, " If I'd been asked I
could, old boy."
And you, who had thought yourself
able to stand before kings, retire from
tbe presence ot tins bold, brassy boy,
discomfited.
A gentleman of mv acquaintance, of
tho very finest sensibilities, and one to
whom a word is Beverer than a blow,
went with a lady friend to a great de
pot in this city to help her off on a
journey. Ho went first to have her
baggage enccked. I'omtmg out her
trunk to the man in charge, the only re
ply mado was the word
" Ticket : "
Not comprehending exactly what
was meant, ho stood a moment, as one
will who is in doubt, expecting an ex
planation. It came :
" Uo and get your ticket it yon want
your baggage checked : roared the
man, m the coarse, hard tone ot a ruf
fian.
My friend got the ticket and return
ed. The trunk was put on the scales
and proved to bo over-weight.
" Dollar . ejaculated the man.
My friend, you know, innocently
supposed that baggage went wVth tho
passenger without extra charge, and
therefore thought he was being defraud
ed. So ho said :
" I think I'll not pay the dollar. I'll
tako the trunk buck and send it by ex
press." " JN o you won t, said tuo baggage
man, " you'll pay tho dollar."
Ana lie aid.
A young man saw a card in a win
dow, " Four neckties for a quarter."
That being about the amount he felt
ablo to squander on neck wear, he step
ped in. A primped and bedeviled
knight of tho ribbon stood behind tho
counter, and seemed utterly oblivious
of tho young man's approach until ad
dressed.
" I would liko some of those neckties,"
said tho young man.
" How many '" asked the clerk.
"Four."
" We can't make anything selling
these neckties, four at a time," said the
young man in a petulant way. " We
frequently lose a largo sale whilo we
are attending to these neckties."
" 1 wonltln t keep em, said the young
man. "And it 1 kept em, l wouldn t
advertise them in the window ' four for
a quarter.' "
" I he you wouldn t, said the
mild-eyed, pleus ant-spoken clerk, as
with one gyration of his attenuated
shadow-grown form, he whisked his
neckties back into tho show-case, and
went placidly back to his ogling.
The young man thinks that was tho
promptest dry goods prince he has ever
met, even in Chicago.
Did you ever muster up courage to
speak to ono of our policemen V one
of tRoso fellows who stand around in
their first good clothes to boss the news
boys 'f If you havo, you need no advice.
If not, you will find the following sim-
plo directions ot great value: pi ever
speak to a policeman when your wife is
by. To be snubbed in her presence is
subversive of home discipline.
N ever attempt jm interview in pres
ence ot your sweetheart. Her hero,
punctured, suffers a collapse.
Never approach a peeler with your
hat on. lie will arrest you for con
tempt.
Never approach one with your hat
off. Meekness and civility are his
meat and drink.
If you seek directions from one seek
it from two. As they will not agree
ask a third. To tho sum of their differ
ences add what you beforo knew, and
you will be in a condition to go and look
in a directory.
To make an interview perfectly safe
and eminently satisfactory, get yourself
up in a loud and dashing style. Buff
trowsors variegated waistcoat " Dol
lie Yurden" necktio. Take on a swag
ger, a look of assurance the but,
then, unless you have blood in your eye
you will not succeed.
Xazartt'i.
Rev. J. B. Dunn, writing to the Bos
ton Traveller, gives the following de
scription ot Nazareth :
The situation of Nazareth is very
pleasant, the people are better dressed,
and the women handsomer than any we
have yet seen in the East. What a pity
we must add tho streets are the dirtiest,
an open sewer running through many
of them. We of course visited the house
where it is said Jesus and his parents
lived; also, Joseph's workshop, where
we saw pictures of Mary and her son,
dressed in modern costume, and Joseph
at work before a carpenter's bench, on
wich lay tools of modern invention.
Towards sunset wo ascended the hill.
from the top of which are to be had the
finest views of any in Palestine. On
reaching our tent we found our favorite
muleteer, Safada, and his brother Fran
cis, both of whom are Mohammedans,
had given an Arab a severe tbrashin
because the Arab cursed the Christians
and our party.
One of the most interesting sights to
bo seen at Nazareth is the crowd of
young women and girls that between
tho hours of five and eight in the even
ing flock to the public fountain with
their pitchers on their heads to draw
water.
Tho night spent here was a memor
able one, for, scarce had we retired to
our tents when a small army of big
mosquitoes came down upon us and
laid seige to our persons, nor could we
drive them away till morning called us
forth to begin another day's journey a
day during which we rode through
part of the valley of Esdracion, crossed
the Kishon, where Baal's prophets were
slain, ascended Carmel to the supposed
point of sacrifice, where we spent some
time in trying to reconcile the Bible
and our guide books, but failed, when
putting the latter in our saddle bags
and taking the former in our hands, we
continued our explorations. Here we
met Prof. Mead, of Andover, engaged
in the same work of exploration. Leav
ing Carmel, we rodo across the plain to
Haifa, where, after bathing in the Med
iterranean, we passed tho night under
wet tents, and on borrowed beds, as our
baggage mules on crossing the Kishon
had their feet taken from under them,
the baggage upset and thoroughly soak
ed, as some of my things to-day testify.
Reflections of a Murmuring Mother.
I was tired of washing dishes ; I was
tired of drudgery. It had always boon
so, and 1 was dissatisfied. I never sat
down a moment to read, that Jamie
didn't want a cake, or a piece of paper
to scribble on, or a bit of soap to mako
bubbles. " I'd rather bo in prison," I
said one day, " than to have my life
teased out so, as Jamie knocked my el
bow, whon I was writing to a friend.
liut a morning came when I had one
plate less to wash, one chair less to set
away by the wall in the dining-room ;
when Jamie s little crib was put away
in the garret, and it has never come
down since. I had been unusually fret
ful and discontented with him that damp
May morning that he took the croup.
Gloomy weather gave me the headache,
and I had less patience then than at
any other time. Uy-and-by he was
singing in anotker room, " I want to bo
an angel ;" and presently rang out that
metallic cough. I never hear that hymn
since that it don t cut me to tho heart ;
for the croup cough rings out with it.
He grew worse towards night, and when
my husband came home he went for the
doetor. At first he seemed to help him,
but it merged into inflammatory croup,
and all vraa aoou over.
" I ought to have been called in soon
er, said tho doctor.
I have a servant to wash the dishes
now ; and when a visitor comes, I can
sit dowrymd entertain her without hav
ing to work all the time. There is no
little boy worrying me to open his jack-
knite, and thero are no shavings over
the floor. The magazines are not soiled
with looking at the pictures, but stand
prim and neat on the reading-table, just
as I leave them.
" Your carpet never looks dirty," say
weary-worn mothers to me.
" Oh, no, 1 mutter to myself, " there
are no little boots to dirty it now !"
isut my face is as weary as theirs
weary with sitting in my lonesome par
lor at twilight weary with watching
for the little arms that used to twiue
around my neck, for the curls that
brushed against my cheek, for tho young
laugh which rang out with mine, as we
watched the blazing fire, or made rab
bits with the shadow on the wall, wait
ing merrily together for papa coming
home. I have the wealth and ease I
longed for, but at what a price 'i And
when I see other mothers with grown
up eons, driving to town or church, and
my hair silvered over with grey, I wish
I had murmured less.
Quicksilver.
Tourists who visit Sunta Cruz watch
with interest tho process of collecting
quicksilver, of which there are rich de
posits. Tho process of reducing the ore,
or rousing the latent mercury from its
sleep of a million or so of years, is very
simple. It is burned out of house and
home, or its dull old body perishes by
cremation, that it may appear in a glo
rifled form, to shine and serve in athous-
and beautiful ways. The ore is put into
furnaces, each holding fifteen thousand
pounds and having in one end the fire,
which is kept up tor about three days.
The vapors from the heated ores pass
from tho furnaces through small aper
tures, like pigeon-holes, into condensing
chambers, on the cool walls ot which the
globules of mercury form and glide at
onco to tho floor, where they collect in
littlo gutters and flow out into troughs
which convey them to an iron cauldron,
from which they are transferred to the
wrought iron flasks in which they are
sent to market, lvieh flask contains seventy-six
and a hulf pounds, and is worth
forty dollars.
Young and curious tourists have been
known to attempt to carry away a thimble-full
in their pockets, and have con
fessed to having at once felt a singular
tickling, trickling sensation, usually
passing like a streak of cold lightning
down the right leg and into the boot.
As is well known, one ot the most curi
ous properties of quicksilver is its capa
bility of dissolving or forming amalgams
with other metals. A sheet of gold-foil
dropped into quicksilver disappears
almost as quickly as a snow-flake when
it falls into water. It has the power of
separating or of readily dissolving those
refractory metals which are not acted
upon bv our most powerful acids. The
gold and silver miners pour it into their
machines holding the gold-bearing
quartz, and although no human eye can
detect a trace of the precious substanjes,
so line are the particles, yet the liquid
metal will hunt it out and incorporate it
into its mass. By subsequent distillation
it yields it into the hands of the miners
in a state ot virgin purity.
A gracious manner wins tho populace,
A California Confidence Game.
Says the San Francisco Bulletin : There
an inspiration in the climatic in
fluences of California that excites the
faculty of shrewdness in the human
character to the highest point, and when
this trait inclines to an erratic tendency,
it usually develops rascality of an in
genious and artistic order j none of your
sneaking, pocket-picking, contemptible
artifice, but dignified and majestic ril-
lainy calculated to command the admi
ration and reverence even of its victim.
A few days since a gentleman arrived
here from New York city, and coming
from that locality one would naturally
suppose the visitor was thoroughly edu
catedn all the deceits and deceptions
ever conceived for entrapping the guile
less and unsophisticated; but he had
never travelled in San Francisco before.
Entering one of the street cars on
Wednesday afternoon, he was casually
drawn into conversation with a venera
ble gentleman of clerical garb and mien,
who took a seat beside him. As the con
versation proceeded, the reverend gentle
man disclosed that he was the pastor of
a fashionable congregation in the neigh
borhood of New York, and to complete
the singular coincidence, ho was sojourn
ing at the 8imo hotel with his newly
formed mercantile acquaintance. On
this information, tho intimacy between
the two became confirmed, and on re
turning to the hotel, some hours of agree
able intercourse resulted in an agree
ment to visit Yosemite, in company,
previous to returning together Eastward.
It was early in the evening ot the same
day the merchant and the clergyman
had resumed tho comparison of tho ob
servations of life on tho Pacific coast, in
the sitting room of the hotel, when a
bright, intelligent-looking lad came trip
ping in breathlessly and addressed tho
utter : " Oh, papa, can I not go to the
theatre, just for once ; it is Maggie
Mitchell from New York that is per
forming here, and I want to seo the
theatre only this time.
' iNo, my son, replied the grave and
reverend parent ; " it would bo improper
for me to accompany you to such a place
of amusement, and I could not consent
to your visiting the theatre unless under
the protection of some friend."
I he mercan tuo gentleman from New
York bethought himself on this sugges
tion that a couple of hours Thespian di ver
tisment would relieve the monotony of the
cveninsr. and immediatelv favored the
inclination of the lad, kindly tendering
ms protection and society.
" Well, my son, remarked the solicit
ous parent on this proposition, " since my
friend desires to attend the theatre, I
have no objection to your going in such
company, this one time.
lhe engagement was immediately as
sented to, and shortly after the merchant
trom .New York and the delighted son
of his esteemed clerical friend started on
their way to the Metropolitan. The
two had proceeded but a short distanco
when the lad suddenly stopped and re
minded himself of an important precau
tion. " I must go back," he said to his
companion, " and leave my watch and
money with father ; lor people are always
sure to get robbed in San Francisco."
lhe earnestness ot tho lad aroused the
apprehension of the merchant as well,
and on returning to tho hotel he also
insisted on depositing his watch, a valu
able gold chronometer, and a pocket-
book containing $180 in greenbacks, in
charge of his clerical friend. The latter
hesitated as to tho propriety of accept
ing the trust, but finally consented on
condition that the merchant from New
York should take his receipt for the
money and watch, which was duly drawn
ana delivered.
The two again set out for tho theatre.
much moro at ease concerning tho secur
ity of their valuables. It is needless to
remark that Maggie was Bparkling and
captivating, as usual, and tho New
Yorker was deeply engaged in the in
terests of the play. His juvenile com
panion, however, manifested a greater
appreciation ol peanuts . than dramatic
talent. Tho lad finally started for
another pint, and did not return. His
guardian became alarmed, and hastened
anxiously to tho hotel to make inquiry!
Tho missing youth was not thero, neith
er was the pious and conscientious pa
rent ; and more singular still, the clerk
had never received any formal intima
tion of the presence of such reverend
gentleman among the guests of the house.
The venerable gentleman had probably
wandered off in one of' those fits of ab
stractedness peculiar to clergymen of
that class. V hen he returns, tho gcntlo
man form New York has his receipt to
cover the property, and ho will probably
preserve it as a precious memento mean
time. California Coffee.
Before many years California will be
come one of the coffee-growing countries
of the world. The Saucelito Herald
says a party of Costa Rican?, with a
former president of that country at their
head, have purchased a tract ot land
near San Rafael, and among other em
ployments designed to be followed by
the colony is that ot raising couee.
Coming from a country where coff'oo is
raised with success, these Central Amer
icans ought to kuow some of tho requis
ites ot a country tor the business
Whether San Rafael is the spot to begin
the new enterprise is said to be doubtful
until demonstration has determined the
question, but that there are parts of the
State in which coffee can be grown has
long been believed. The southern part
of the State has many places whore the
experiment may be tried with hopes of
success. Still it is not impossible that
San Rafael, and other places in the
middle regions of the State, may be
adapted to colwe culture. A few years
since the general idea was averse to the
possibility of crowing oraneres in any
but the southern parts of the State, but
actual demonstrations have proved that
they can be cultivated as tar north as
Chico, and in several of the gorges of
the Sierra Nevadas. The capacities of
the country are growing year by year,
and the apparently bold experiment of
growing coffee near ban Rafael may be
uasca on superior judgment.
Facts and Figures.
Six thousand men and boys a day
patronize the New York public baths.
Sturgeon Bay, Wis,, has shipped about
8,500,000 native evergreen trees this
year.
A grain elevator of huge proportions
is in course ot erection at Usage Mis
sion, Kansas.
The prairies near Ellsworth. Kansas,
are enlivened by the presence of about
45,000 head of Texas cattle.
A farmer in West Fork Township,
Monona Co., Iowa, planted 113 bushels
of black walnuts, and they are growing
finely.
According to the last coubus, there ore
in the United States five millions of chil-
dren, of school age, who never attend
school !
The city of Springfield, 111., has
brought suit against the churches in the
city for the taxes against them for the
year 18 1.
The Chicago woman who married a
man in jail, brags she is "the only girl
in town who knows where her fellow
stays of nights."
Capt. Pindar, of Southern Florida, -
has ten acres of pine apples ; he expects
to realize for the patch this year the
snug sum of $20,000.
Eight hundred and eighty-two thous
and pounds of strawberries were ship
ped to Chicago over tho Illinois Central
Railroad this season.
A Kansas City widow rejected a suitor
tho other day. The forlorn lover re
venged himself by gotting the widow's
little son dead drunk.
A snake bit a man in Atlanta, Ga.,
and then immediately bit itself. The
man was living at last accounts, but the
snake expired immediately.
The Houston & Great Northern Rail
road, by a late decision of the Texas
Supreme Court, acquires title to many
millions of acres of the Texas and pub
lic domain.
The report that there was but one
daughter ptill living of any of tho sign
ers of the Declaration of Independence
turns out to be untrue. Two daughters
of Elbridge Gerry are still living in New
Haven, Conn.
Arizona has "2,000,000 acres of public
land, but a small portion of which has
been surveyed. In addition to mineral
territory of untold richness, there are
vast quantities of magnificent grazing,
agricultural and timber land.
The Nevada Legislature, in granting
charters to new railroads, declares that
no Chinese shall in any way be employ
ed upon the road, either in constructing
or operating them, undor penalty of
forfeiture of all their privileges.
A gentle school-madam in Minneapolis
flogged a boy an hour and a quarter,
using up several ferules, and finally re
sorting to a stick of wood. Even bal
anced justice obliged her to pay a fine
of $20 and costs in consequence.
A number of soda lakes havo been dis
covered recently, twelve miles south of
Denver, Colorado, lhe grounds com
prise sixty acres, and the water and the
soil together have nearly thirty-three
and one-half per cent, of sulphate of soda.
It is a well-known fact, that in many
portions of tho West and Southwest, cer
tain grasses retain their succuleucy and
nutritivo qualities during the whole
year, and stock can be fed on them to as
much advantage during the cold months
of winter as during tho season when the
grass seems freshest and greenest.
California papers say that a strong
tide of emigration has set toward Oregon,
a great majority of the emigrants being
respectable and comfortable farmers from
the Western States, who havo sold their
old homesteads on favorable terms, and
are attracted to Oregon by reports of
cheap lands, productive soil and abund
ant crops.
Two maiden ladies in Louisville were
very much shocked the other day whon
they bsorved a young lady in a neigh
boring yard dig a deep hole and bury
an object carefully shrouded in. white
cloth. They at onco notified the police
of their suspicions of foul play, and tho
body was exhumed. It turned out to
be that of a lamented cat, and tho sus
picious spinsters jvere hooted by the
crowd.
An amorous Detroiter tried to kiss en
unwilling fair ono last week, but she
became angry and bit his cheek. Ho
attempted to return tho compliment,
but the pain of the bite was so intense
that he fainted, and the wound has since
so festered and swollen that the surgeon
has decided to burn the flesh with saustio
and treat it as he would the bite of a
mad dog. Both the biter and the bitten
belong to the first families in the city.
It would seem as though a man's board
at least were his own peculiar property,
and that he had a. right to dispose of it
whon and where he pleased without
bringing upon himself any great amount
of trouble. Nevertheless, a man in
Evansville, Ind., lately did incur a deal
of trouble by sacrificing a luxuriant
beard which he had worn for years. He
went home after his wife had retired
and she screamed and went into hyster
ics, on which the man s own brother ap
peared and fired a pistol at him, and
then knocked him down. Next day he
could not get a draft cashed at the bank,
and was even threatened with arrest for
endorsing it with his own name. He
thinks he will let his beard grow again.
Those little money-making specula
tions known as suits for breach of prom
ise of marriage are still successful enough
to induce persons of the female sex who
have no better uso for their affections to
invest in them. There was a case at
Westminster lately in which it appeared
that a venerable but ardent lover of
threescore years had become tho deposi
tory of the tender feeling of a gentle
maiden of twoscore, but ho concluded
that she was too young for him and de
sired to give up the priceless treasure ;
but no, he must keep it or pay for it a
curious commercial transaction, by the
way. She placed the damage at $5,000,
and the court gave her $375,