The Elk County advocate. (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, October 19, 1871, Image 1

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- N 1
HENRY A. PARSONS,. Jr., Editor akd PtrsLiBirftR, "
? K COUNTT THE REPUBLICAN rARTY.
i . . ,
Two Dollars per Akhum.
' x RIDGWAY, PA., THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1871.
ISO. 33.
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VOL. I. ' ; : -
MY BIRTHDAY.
Br JOHN O. WHITTIER.
Beneath the moonlight and the snow
Lies dead my latent year ;
The winter winds are wailing low
Us dirges In my enr.
1 grieve not with the moaning wind
As if a loss herd ;
Before me, even as behind,
God Is, and all Is well!
His light shines on me from above, '
His low voice speaks within
The patience of Immortal love
Outwearing mortal sin.
Not mindless of the growing years
Of care and loss and pain,
My eyes are wet with thankful tears
For blessings which remain.
If dim the gold of lire has grown,
I will not count It dross.
Nor turn from treasures still my own
To sigh for lack and loss.
The years no charm from Nature take ;
As sweet her voices call,
As beautiful her mornings break,
As fair her evenings full.
Love watches o'er my quiet ways,
Kind voices speak my name,
And lips that find it hard to praise
Are slow, at least, to blame.
IIow softly ebb the tides of will I
How llelds, once lost or won,
Now lie behind me green and still
Beneath a level sun t
IIow hushed the kiss of party bate,
The clamor of the throng !
How old, harsh voices of debalo
Flow luto rythmic song I
Methlnks the spirit's temper grows
Too soft in this still air,
Somewhat the restful heart foregoes
Of needed watch and prayer.
The bark by tempest vainly tos6ed
May founder in the calm,
And ho who braved the polar frost
Faint by the Isles of balm.
Better than self-indulgent years
The outflung heart of youth,
Than pleasant songs in idle ears
The tumult of the truth.
Rest for the weary hands Is good,
And love for hearts that piuc,
But let the manly habitude
Of upright souls be niiue.
Let winds that blow from heaven afresh
Dear Lord, the languid air ;
And let the weakness ot the flesh
Thy strength of spirit share.
And, if the eye must fall of light,
The ear forget to hear,
Make clearer still the spirit's sight,
More line the inward car.
Be near me In mine hours of need
To soothe, or cheer, or warn,
And down those slopes of sunset lead
As up the hills of morn 1
Atlantic Monthly.
POTILETOP'S PIPE.
" That is a pipe, Sarah," said Mr. Pot
tletop, severely. " It is my opinion that
no human being on the face of this ex
tensive globe but yourself would require
the assurance that that is a pipe. It
certainly looks like a pipe, it unques
tionably smells like a pipe, and it un
doubtedly is a pipe I"
"But, sir, begging your parding, I
didn't know as misses would allow you
to have a pipe," said Sarah, taking up
her brush.
" She does, Sarah in fact, it was she
herself who gave it me yesterday as a
birthday present. Before we were mar
ried, I was a great smoker ; but immed
iately after that happy event Mrs. P.
cut off my tobacco absolutely. Yester
day my privileges were again restored."
Had she any objeck in it, sir?"
"Object! What do you mean by ob
ject? I insist upon an instantaneous
elucidation of that suspicious remark !"
Mr. Pottletop replaced his meerschaum
on the mantlepiece, folded his arms, and
assumed a most indignant expression of
countenance.
" Nothink, sir. Only ladies do some
times have objects with their husbands,"
returned Sarah, innocently. " Are you
sure misses didn't ask any favor or prom
ise of you, sir ?"
Mr. Pottletop gasped, and turned pale.
Recovering himself immediately, how
ever, he rejoined, in a faint voice :
" Nothing at all, Sarah. You may go
about your business, Sarah."
She moved to the door.
" Stop a minute, Sarah ; I want to ask
you a question. What does your mis
tress chiefly do while I am down-town ?"
" Well, sir," answered the housemaid,
" misses is always in her room by her
self, and I never sues her, sir." With
which she went out
Mr. Pottletop dropped into a chair,
and put bis hand to his head.
" 1 see it all I False Sophronista, you
have deceived me I" he exolaimed.
" Your restoration of my privileges was
a delusion, your pipe was a snare I
Tobacco 1 yes. You allow me plenty of
it cigars and cheroots, too and even
try to throw snuff in my eyes I But it
won't do I No, madame ! When I, con
fiding and deluded victim, yesterday
gave you my promise not to come to din
ner any day before two, little did I
dream there was anything at the bottom
of it ! I took your pipe and lit it, and
smoked it in peace ; to-day, I find I wa
only putting out my own pipe of hap
piness for ever ! However, 1 shall see.
I shall place myself on the watch, and
discover alL Beware of me, deceitful
female I The lamb has become a lion,
and will have his vengeance I"
Mr. Pottletop started up, clapped on
his hat, and made bis way to the street.
Was he going down-town? Not a bit
of it. Mr. Pottletop merely walked to
the corner, slipped around it, stole to
his back gate, sneaked into his garden,
and hid himself behind the gooseberry
bush. Here be remained, horribly
cramped, a quarter of an hour. But
hie patience was rewarded. Glancing
upward, he beheld a pair of long legs
dangling over his roof, endeavoring . to
clasp the rain-spout 1 Next the body
and head of a man appeared, who let
himself down, and entered at the win
dow. There Was but one course for Mr.
Pottletop. IIo rose, seized his garden
ladder, planted it against the wall,
ascended it, and likewise entered at the'
window. But the room ' was empty.
He ducked under the soft. His move
ment was just in timo, for the door
opened, and tho Btrangt r with the long
legs reappeared.
"All's safe!'' ho soliloquized, in a
husky, rasping voioe, breathing through
out the apartment a strong flavor of rum.
" I thought the governor would never
go. My ears is corked with soot listen
ing for him down the chimley. Now
for the governor's wife !"
"The governor s wife I" groaned Mr.
Pottletop. " I knew it 1"
" She must a-knowed as I was a-com-ing
by leavin' the window-bolt open so
convenient," continued the stranger.
" But there's no keepin' the movements
of fashionable society secret nowadays."
"Knew he was coming!" groaned
Mr. Pottletop, again. " Everything is
confirmed. Some aristocratic villain
who has turned her brain 1"
" Well, now to look for the -pretty
creetur. P'r'aps she wouldn't be glad
to see me just yet, nor I to see her too
suddint. I'll reok-anoint-her a bit"
He crept cautiously out of the other
door, and Mr. Pottletop as cautiously
followed him. They crossed the corri
dor to tho library-closet and Mr. P.'s
eyes gleamed with joy. At the moment
the stranger entered the closet Mr. P.
ran up quickly and locked him in.
" There, atrocious monster !" he
gloated, rubbing his hands. " Now to
return to the garden by the ladder, and,
if possible, obtain a policeman. Mrs. P.
must not Bee me, or she will release her
lover from his imprisonment, and he
may escape."
Back to his bedroom he went, but,
re-entering, he stood rooted with horror
to the ground.
A noise could be heard from the win
dow, and evidently some one else was
coming up the ladder.
Mr. Pottletop ducked under the sofa
as before.
Another stranger appeared. It was a
stout, elderly person, dressed in a semi
military great-coat, wearing a volumin
ous neckerchief, and topping all off with
an immense wig. He put his legs de
liberately in, and looked around.
" Not here 'r"' he exclaimed. " Down
stairs, of course I"
" Another one of 'em looking for her !"
groaned Mr. Pottletop. "How many
more are there P Oh, perjured woman,
little did I suspect this 1"
" I hope she may not delay," contin
ued the latest arrival. " I hate waiting.
Snug-looking room and, upon my hon
or, a pipe I I'll take a smoke."
Mr. Pottletop looked on in fresh hor
ror. His pipe bis own private, partic
ular and solitary meerschaum ! The
stranger quietly filled it, put it between
his lips, and sat down.
" Now, this is what I call comfort,"
he soliloquized, the smoke curling over
his capacious wig; "and I shouldn't
mind staying here altogether 1"
". I suppose not," reflected the agitated
spectator under the bed. "But your
Bojourn shall be briefer than you ex
pect." " Only I should insist upon the society
of some precious little creature, like the
lady I am waiting for, to destroy mo
notony. Her husband isn't the man for
her. From what I hear of him, he must
be a regular old pump I"
" Me a regular old pump !" said Mr.
Pottletop, grinding his teeth.
" I wonder if he would thank me for
coming, if he knew what brought me
here'f"
" Not much I" sighed Mr. P.
The door opened, and Mrs. Pottletop
ran in hastily.
" General !" she cried ; " how kind you
are! Is he gone P"
"Gone! He must be, if you haven't
seen him down your way. He certain
ly isn't about here anywhere."
" How thoughtful it was of you to call
at the front door first !" said Mrs.P., a
charmingly plump little woman of
thirty. " And how especially thought
ful to next get into the garden. As
neither of us has seen him, I am certian
he ia gone."
" Are you ?" groaned Pottletop.
"You'll find yourself confoundedly
mistaken, presently."
" I muot next relieve Sarah. Poor
thing ! she has been dreadfully nervous.
Sarah !"
That innocent young person entered.
" You needn't be under any further
alarm, Sarah. He is gone."
" Is he, mum P How delighted I am to
hear it I"
" Yes ! Now I will take General
Wagstaffe below, and insist upon his
having a glass of wine."
"Madame," said that gallant officer,
E resenting his arm, " I shall only be. too
appy."
At the moment they had disappeared,
Mr. Pottletop determined to show him
self. He made a movement to get out
" What's that r" exclaimed the nervous
Sarah, rushing to the door.
" It's only "
But before the poor gentleman could
articulate a syllable further she darted
down the steps, screaming at the top of
her voice. Instantly afterward General
Wagstaffe came clumping back into the
room, red with fury. Mr. Pottletop
seized a bootjack, the general snatched
up a water pitcher. They stood face to
face.
" I'll do for you, ruffian !" exclamed
the general.
" You will P You'll assassinate me P
Reckless libertine, I am diminutive, but
courageous 1 I shall throw you out of
the window."
"That's your game is it'r" cried the
military stranger. " Well, two can play
at it ; so let us see who'll win."
With which he rushed upon poor Mr.
Pottletop, upset the table in the way,
smashed the water-pitcher over bis head,
carried him bodily to the window, and
flung him head foremost into the yard.
Mrs. Pottletop came running in again,
pale as a ghost
" He's gone this time.niadame," gasped
the general, wiping his faoe, " I don't
think you'll be troubled by bim again.
I have flung him out of the house, and
there's not much danger, I fancy, of bis
reappearance."
The delicious little woman pressed the
warrior's hand, and descended with him
to the dining-room. This apartment
looked out upon the yard. Had its two
occupants glaneed at the window, they
might have seen a face the face of the
injured Pottletop. With a bloody nose,
cheeks oovered with mud, and clothes
smeared with the ashes of the dust-heap
into which he had been tossed, he stood
on his tip-toes, glaring in at them.
" Now, general, for your wine," he
heard his wife say. "Excuse mn only
one little minute. Our sherry is in the
library-closet."
"The library-closet!" echoed Pottle
top. " Her other lover is there. Treach
erous woman, she is not true to any
body I"
Mrs. P. went out of the room, and the
general cocked his feet comfortably on
the mantlepiece. Mr. Pottletop knew
by this that he was not likely to leave
shortly, so he determined to ascend the
ladder once more, get into his , room
again, and listen to what passed in the
closet. This resolve was instantly ac
complished. Scarcely, however, had he
touched the floor of his chamber when
he heard Mrs. Pottletop's screams, and
her rapid footsteps clattering down the
stairway.
What was the matter now P Was it
jealousy on the part of the occupant of
the cupboard, and had he assaulted her
on suspicion of having locked bim in P
Mr. Pottletop, overcome by his emotions
and the terrible experience he was going
through, sank to the floor.
He lay there stunned, nearly f ve
minutes.
But his agony was not finished.
As he was a living, breathing man, he
heard fresh footsteps on the ladder !
Exhausted as he was, he contrived
once more to drag himself under the
sofa. Peeping out, he saw a form of
blue, and a truncheon. It was a police
man. " Is she here '" he heard the guardian
of the peace Bay. " She certainly told
me fur to come this way."
" Still another lover !" shrieked Pot
tletop, almost aloud. " An appointment
with a policeman! Oh, Sophronista,
this is too much I"
The fellow stepped in, and Mr. Pottle
top trembled. To be dragged out would
ruin everything. He lay mute as a
mouse ; but to his horror he perceived
that the intruder was very particular in
his investigations. He glanced in the
wardrobe, and examined the cupboard;
be even made a show of searching the
bureau-drawer, and once what to look
for, he could not imagine he uncorked
a black bottle. At last, he carelessly
threw an eye under the sofa. He dis
cerned something black. He poked his
truncheon under, and prodded Mr. Pot
tletop in the stomach. Mr. Pottletop
wheezed, and lost his breath.
" Hilloa I" cried the policeman.
" You're there, are you ? Come out o'
that!"
Mr. Pottletop slowly drew himself out
and stood up, covered with lint and
feathers, like a curious and new-fashioned
species of bird. Recovering his wind
by an effort, be spoke :
" My blue brother," he said, mourn
fully, " why are you here ? Have you
come to add more to my cup of misery P"
" Cup o' misery ! It's my opinion
you've had too many cups already."
" I have, indeed ; each filled to the
brim."
"So I thought," sighed tho blue
brother. " Well, let me run you in
quietly, now. Don't let's have no scrim
maging ; 'cos, if you do, I'll have to put
you in a vagon."
" In a wagon I" groaned poor Pottle
top. " What have I done to deserve all
this ? Am I a living, breathing, sensi
ble man ? Have I my mind and judg
ment about mo, or is this some terrible
dream V"
"Vy, how can you expect to have
your mind about you, ven you will take
in so much at a dose P The jim-jams is
comin' fast"
"Jim James! Another one of Mrs.
P.'s lovers, I suppose. He will be the
fourth to-day 1 Oh, whoever suffered
such misery as mine ?"
The policeman took his arm tenderly,
and seated him in a chair.
" Be quiet, now," he said, in a sooth
ing tone. " Everybody goes through
this, you know. I knew what it was the
moment I spied you. When she spoke "
" She I She 1" shrieked Mr. Pottletop,
rising to his feet. " It is she, indeed !
Listen to me : yesterday I was a happy
man. I bad but one thought and it
was her happiness, because 1 loved her
to distraction, and fondly believed she
loved me in return. When she gave me
that pipe, and made me promise never
to come to dinner any day before two,
little did I fancy the motive she had at
the bottom. But this morning, by means
of a few incautious words dropped by
the housemaid, I was led to suspect At
the first step toward investigation, the
full and glaring truth dawned upon me.
I watched further. All was confirmed.
Her lovers I discovered to be number
less. Some were on the roof, some en
tered by the window, some by the front
door! Although you, too, are one of
them, I tell you this that you may tell
her. This, my last message, 1 commit
" Commit !" interrupted the guardian
of the peace, bouncing off the table
where he had been sitting. " I've listen
ed to your rigmarole ; but I von't let
you commit notniu here. Uome along,
Quietly, now 1"
"Come along P What do you mean P
Come alone where r"
" Vith me, of course ! I'm going to
run you in. My pardner s outside vith
a vagon, so, if you resist I'll call him to
help me. Blast me if I vouldn't be
ashamed to valk along the street vith
you ! Your nose is bloody, your faoe is
smeared vith mud, your clothes is full of
ashes and feathers, your eyes is Diacic,
and you're a regular scarecrow 1 Come
along, now 1" ,
Mr. PottletoD nicked up a chair.
" If you touch me," he shouted, I'll
murder you 1 Keep off, ruffian keep
on r
"Ohol Thai's your game, is it P All
ngut my covey r
The Doliceman went over to tho des
perate man, and clutched him by the
shoulders. Then began the struggle.
They tussled about the room, bawling
and shrieking, upsetting the furniture,
tearing down the curtains, smashing the
mirrors, breaking tho water-jar, and
deluging the carpet with dirty water.
The door opened, and three persons
appeared, looking on in horrified as
tonishment. They were Mrs. Pottletop,
General Wagstaffe. and the long-legged
individual who had been locked up in
the library-closet
The combatants separated, and stood
up, out of breath. Mr. Pottletop beheld
his wife.
" Vila female," he cried, " it is all over,
at last I"
"Oh. Pottletop !" screamed Mrs. P.,
falling into General Wagstaffe's arms.
" 1 go trom you for ever 1
" I told you he wasn't a burglar, but
a lunatic, ma'am," struck in the man in
blue, triumphantly.
" .Here is the burglar," said Ueneral
Wagstaffo. " 1 surrounded him, charged
upon him, and captured bim myself."
" I see it all !" spoke Mrs. Pottletop,
suddenly. " My poor Potty is the vic
tim of a Bcries of mistakes. Let him ex
plain his share in them."
" Victim I am, indeed, and of a mis
take in you, cruel Sophronista I" return
ed Mr. P. This morning, looking at my
pipe, 1 was seized with a suspicion that
you had some object in giving it to me
yesterday, and making me promise never
to come to dinner before two. I determ
ined to watch. I stole into the garden,
and hid behind the gooseberry-bush,
and then I perceived a man enter our
bedroom window from the root.
" That vos me," said the general's cap
tive " I had been behind the chimney
all night, vaiting for a chance to get in
and take a look at the waluables."
" I planted a ladder against the win
dow," continued Mr. P., " asconded it,
and went in, too. I followed this ruf
fian to the library-closet, and locked him
in."
"And I." said General Wagstaffe,
" saw you going up the ladder from my
second-story portico opposite, took you
for a housebreaker, went around to your
front door, and informed your wife. She
sent for a policeman, and I returned to
the garden, and likewise ascended the
ladder."
" Well," put in the blue gentleman,
"when I arrived, I planted my pardner
at the front door, slipped around the
backway, and vos the third party as
went up the ladder. 1 must beg this
gent's pardon for mistaking him but
duty's duty I Howsomever, there it a
burglar in the case, and so 1 enan t nave
had my trouble for nothing. Come
along, my friend !"
The general surrendered his prisoner
into the crip of the law. Theu he ap
proached Mr. Pottletop, and took his
band. ...
" Sir, I am happy to make your ao
quaintance under such singular circum
stances." " I should have preferred them not
quite so singular," rejoined Mr. Pottle-
top.rather ruefully. "However, 1 deserve
all my misfortunes, for once having
doubted my dear little tootsy-wootsy
Sophronista I
" How could you P" pouted that charm
ing lady.
" liow eoulan t 1, is more to the pur
pose, when you gave the surprising priv
ilege of smoking, and, what's better, a
beautiful pipe to smoke with. By-the-way,
where is it P"
" Where is it P"' cried General Wag
staffe, clapping his coat-pocket. Bless
me, I had quite forgotten it I"
The policeman went up, and touched
him on the shoulder.
"Shall I take him along for petty
laroeny, sir r he asked of Mr. Pottletop,
" What an efficient officer 1" cried Mrs.
P., admiringly.
" Confoundedly emcient I groaned
Mr. P., noting the figure he himself cut,
and observing the ruin about the floor
the general smash of everything.
" No ; we've had enough excitement for
one day."
" And what a ridiculous cause for it I"
sighed Mrs. P. " Only a pipe 1"
iver since, that lias been her great
instrument in managing Pottletop.
Whenever he begins to grow jealous or
Buspicious, she puts her arm around his
neck, kisses him, and says in the arch
est tone :
" My dear, shall I tell you the story of
Pottletop g Pipe t
It always settles him.
Thomas Jefferson.
From an article on Jefferson in liar.
per' for August, we take " Recollections
by Three ot bis Granddaughters :
Jefferson loved farming and garden'
ing, the fields, the orchards, and his
asparagus beds. Of flowers, too, he was
very fond. I remember the planting of
the fir.t hyacinths and tulips. The
precious roots were committed to the
earth under bis own eye, with a crowd
of happy young faces of his grand-child
ren clustering around to see the process,
and inquire auxiously the name of each
separate deposit. - In the morning, im
mediately after breakfast, he used to
visit his nower-beds and gardens. In
the summer, as the day grew warmer,
he retired to his own apartments, where
be remained until about one o clock,
My mother would sometimes send me on
a message to him. A gentle knock, a
call, " Come in," and 1 would enter,
with a mixed feeling of love and rever
ence, and some pride in being the bearer
ot a communication to one whom 1 an-
proached with all the affection of a
child and something of the loyalty ot
subject
My grandfather's manners to us, his
grand-children, were delightful; I can
characterize them by no other word.
He talked with us freely, affectionately;
never lost an opportunity of giving a
pleasure or a good lesson. He reproved
without wounding us, and commended
without making us vain. He took
pains to correct our errors, and false
ideas, checked the bold, encouraged the
timid, and tried to teach us to reason
soundly and feel rightly. Our smallest
follies ha treated with good-humored
raillery ; our graver ones with kind and
serious admonition. As a child I used
to follow him about and draw as near to
him as I could. I remember when I
was small enough to sit on his knee,
and play with his watoh-chain. As a
girl, I would joiu him in his walks on
the terraoo, sit with him over the fire
during the winter twilight, or by the
open windows in summer. As child,
girl, and woman, I loved and honored
him above all earthly beings. And well
I might. From him seemed to flow all
the pleasures of my life. To him I owad
all the small blessings and joyful sur
prises of my childish and girlish years.
was fond of riding, and was rising
above that childish simplicity when,
provided I was mounted on a horse, I
cared nothing for my equipments, and
when an old saddle or broken bridle
were matters of no moment. I was be
ginning to be fastidious, but I had never
told my wishes. I was standing one
bright day in the portico, when a man
rode up to the door with a beautiful
lady's saddle and bridle before him. My
heart bounded. These coveted articles
were deposited at my feet My grand
father came out of his room to tell me
they were mine. When about fifteen
years old 1 began to thinK ot a watcn,
but knew the state of my father a finan
ces promised no such indulgence. One
afternoon the letter bag was brought in.
Among the letters was a small packet
addressed to my grandfather. It had
the Philadelphia mark upon it. x
looked at it with indifferent, incurious
eye. Three hours after an elegant
lady s watch, with chain and seals, was
in my hand, which trembled for very
joy. My Bible came from him, my
onakspeare, my nrst writing-tame, my
first handsome writing-deBk, my first
Leghorn hat my first silk dress. What,
in short of all my small treasures did
not come from him P
I cannot describe the feelings of ven
eration, admiration, and love that
existed in my heart toward him. I
looked on him as a being too good for
my comprehension; and yet I te It no
tear to approach him and be taught by
him some of the childish sports that I
delighted in. When he walked in the
garden, and would call the children to
go with him, we raced after and before
him, and we were made pertectly nappy
by this permission to accompany bim,
Not one of us, in our wildest moods,
ever placed a foot on one of the garden
oeas, tor mat wouiu violate one oi ms
rules ; and yet I never heard him utter a
harsh word to one of us, or speak in a
raised tone of voice, or use a threat.
He Bimply said: "Do," or "Do not."
He would gather fruit for us, seek out
the ripest figs, or bring down the cher
ries from on high above our heads with
a long stick, at the end of which there
was a hook and a little net bag. One ot
our earliest amusements was in running
races on the terrace, or around the lawn,
Ho placed us according to our ages, Riv
ing the youngest and smallest the start
ot all the others by some yards, and so
on: and then he raised bis arm high,
with his white handkerchief in his hand,
on which our eager eyes were fixed, and
slowly counted three, at which number
be dropped the handkerchief, and we
started oil to tmibh the race by return
ing to the starting-place, and receiving
our reward Of dried fruit three figs,
prunes, or dates to the victor, two to the
second, and one to the lagger who came
in last. Often he discovered, we knew
not how, some cherished object of our
desires, and the first intimation we had
of knowing the wish was its unexpected
gratification. Bister Anne gave a silk
dress to sister Ellen. Cornelia (then
eight or ten years old,) going up stairs,
involuntarily expressed aloud some feel
ings which possessed her bosom on the
occasion, by saying, " l never nad
silk dress in my life." The next day a
silk dress came from Charlottesville to
Cornelia and (to make the rest of us
equally happy) also a pair of pretty
dreseci lor Mary and myself.
Sketches in Peru.
A lively correspondent of the Spring-
field Republican writes from Lima :
If there is any one thing dearer than
another to a Lima woman, it is a fine
assortment of diamonds. I have seen
many an old woman, of partly negro
blood, and as ugly as sin, with only one
garment and an old blanket for dress,
who had the blanket fastened with a
diamond pin which even Boss Tweed
might not disdain. The sole ambition
of a pretty woman is to outshine her
neighbor's diamonds. Poverty, hunger,
old clothes, and all tne otner ins or me,
are nothing, if they can be offset bv fine
diamonds. The luxury ot subs and vel
vets is well appreciated, too, by the
wealthier class, but poor indeed is the
man, and below caste indeed the family,
who have no diamonds, ho matter what
treasures of real estate or flocks and
herds they have.
Goat's flesh (to change the subject)
forms a considerable staple with the Pe
ruvian butchers. Roasted it can hardly
be distinguished from mutton, but is
somewhat cheaper, being, although so
like it in taste, a very trine coarser,
Owing to this difference in price, Bmall
patches of fleece are left in the meat of
the sheep when killed, and when your
hindquarter of lamb comes here, you
can verify the fact that you are not pay
ing lamb price for kid meat by a bit of
the innocent s original fleece, borne un
principled butchers are said to glue bits
of fleece on kid's flesh to deceive their
pt trons, but I can hardly think that of
them, though they do sometimes put
meat on the market which never came
to a violent death.
As to politics, I defy any other than a
native Peruvian to make anything of
them. We can get a pretty good idea of
their foreign relations, because those are
tolerably public, but the inside work.
who goes in and who goes out and why
they go, and why every little while there
is a fierce confusion, a brawl, an extend
ed fight and finally upset and an over
throw, a retreat of insurgents or au
thorities to the mountains, a general al
teration of the coin, a new levy of sol
diers, and considerable cannonading
from the fort in the roadstead, is past
the comprehension of an outsider. Con
suls have got weak minded before now
in the vain attempt to understand it,
and Henry Clay's son, who was Minis
ter there for a good while, was threat
ened with softening of the brain, and
had to come home. I doubt if they un
derstand it themselves.
Just now Lima is full of excitement.
omo State oilloial, far in advance of his
colleagues, has just heard of the great
expositions of industry held abroad at
various times, and has actually stirred
up the Government to undertake a simi
lar exhibition for tho products of Peru.
snppose it will comprise specimens of
guano, silver ore, a few grass hats, and
some fleeoes of mountain sheep. The
skeleton of Pizaaro will probably be ex
hibited under the head of works of art
and a special earthquake or two may be
gotten up to gratify visitors. All this
is advertised to take place next Decem
ber, and, unless a revolution or two takes
place in the mean time and upsets the
arrangement, I have no doubt it will
come off. The Peruvians will come and
look at the new plows, and then care
fully avoid any such improvements in
tho future.
Cheap Clothing In London.
Mr. Morris Phillips write to tho Home
Journal :
Many American ladies go to Europe
with the main idea of replenishing their
wardrobe, and in this they are sensible,
for almost everything that a lady desireB
to wear, or a gentleman, tor that matter,
can be bought at half price or less, on
the other side. The soft and rich-look
ing sealskin basques, for instance, that
will be all the rage in this country dur
ing the coming winter, and which in
New York cost $100 or more, can be
bought in fashionable London shops for
about $ 10. Black and fancy silks in
London are little more th&n half the
New York rate, and so with dressmak
ers' charges. Gentlemen's finest kid
gloves are sold tar $1 ; a superior qual
ity of silk hat from the most stylish
maker, costs but a sovereign, and winter
trousers are made by a " swell tailor
for 22s. ($0.50) the same as a Broadway
house would turn out for $15; and so
with other articles of male and female
attire. Paris merchants feel the effects
of the past war and present taxes, and
every commodity is high there. People,
it well advised, will make their pur-
cnases in Liondon, iSerlin, or Vienna,
There has been no war in England,
and labor there is poorly remunerated,
So far as style is concerned, none is dis
played in England, but if a lady carries
along her own patterns, she may have
chance of getting made something that
will be nt to wear. Dor fashion, style,
and good taste in ornamentation, one
must, after all, go to Paris.
French Hallway Trnvelllnar.
We might copy with advantage many
of the customs in vogue on D rench rail
ways, especially that one in regard to
meals, instead ot the hurried exit from
the cars, to grab and swallow half mas
ticated a lot ot indigestible food, and
finish the hadty bite in the cars, we
might imitate the .French plan with
much advantage to our comfort as well
as health. Just before the usual time
for meals, an agent goes through the
cars, takes your orders, telegraphs them
ahead, and on reaching the station,
what you have asked for is handed in, to
be consumed at your leisure on the
journey ; or, descending into the refresh
ment-rooms, you find small baskets upon
the " bullet, containing, with such re
freshments as are most called for, a knife
and tork, napkin, plate and glass. On
each backet is a label stating the con
tents and price. The passenger buys
tne basket takes it into his carriage,
dines or lunches at bis leisure, and at
the next station at which the train stops
hands back the basket, etc., to a waiter,
and receives for it a fixed price, which
is also set down on the label. This sys
tem has just been begun in England on
the Midland express. The correspond
ent of a London paper on a recent jour-
nry says that at one ot the stopping
places he obtained a neat basket con
taining naif a fowl, salad, bread, butter,
cheese, pint of stout (or claret optional,)
napkin, plate, knife, and fork, and cork
screw all compactly arranged, the eat
ables excellent. JN o deposit was asked
merely a civil request to hand the bas
ket out at the next station; so, instead
of rushing frantically about and insane
ly swallowing the traditional sandwich.
he quietly spread an impromptu table,
and lunched as comfortably as could be
desired. Which of our railroads will be
the first to introduce this sensible cus
tom P
Remnants By Josh Billings.'
Customs are like grease they make
ennything slip easy.
Thare iz sum things that kant be
counterhtted a blush is one ov them.
Goodness iz list az mutch ov a studdy
az inathumaticks is.
If a man expeckts tew be very virte-
wous he musu't mix too mutch with the
world nor too mutch with himself nei
ther.
The people who acktually deserve tew
live their lives over agin are tho very
ones who don't want to do it
The richest man ov all iz he who has
got but little, but haz got all he wants.
Natur makes all the noblemen
wealth, edukasbun, nor pedigree never
made one yet
When a man duz me a favour I alwus
try tew remember it, and when he du
me an injury 1 slwas try tew forget it-
it 1 don t, i ought to.
If a man is honest he may not alwus
be in the right, but he kan never be in
wrong.
Grate talkers are generally grate liars,
for them who talk so mutch must sooner
or later run out ov the truth, and tell
what they don t kno.
I don't bet thare iz enny sich thing as
a perfektly good man, or a perfektly
bad man.
I kno ov enny quantity or people
whose virtews are at the mercy ov other
folks, who are good simply for the repu-
tashun ov it who hav'nt got enny more
real appetite tew their conscience than
aklaubaz.
MISCELLANEOUS 11 LBS.
Thn mihinct of imDression at first sight
was being talked: over at the tea-table,
when the lady whose duty it was to pre
side, said, " she always formed an idea of
person at first sight and generally
found it to be correct." " Mamma,"
said her youngest son, in a shrill voioe,
that attracted the attention of all pre
sent. " Well, my dear, what is it P" re
plied the good mother. "I want to
know what was your opinion when you
first saw me P" The question gave a
sudden turn to the conversation.
The Chicago Timet gives an account
of an old pointer dog which a gentle
man brought to that city from his form
er residence in Portage, Wisconsin, and
which after a few days mysteriously dis- '
appeared, turning up two weeks after
ward at the family mansion in Portage,
two hundred miles away. The sagacious
animal had performed the whole distance
on foot though how he found his way
is a mystery. The intelligence manifest
ed by this honest old dog in undertaking
so difficult and wearisome a journey
rather than live in such a wioked place
as Chicago is certainly worthy of all ad
miration, although the Timet unaccount
ably neglects to point out this obvious
moral.
A women-woman who has started a
paper in Portland, Orgeon, opens her
salutatory with this snarp broadside :
We have served a regular apprentice
ship at working washing, scrubbing,
patching, darning, ironing, plain sewing,
raising babies, milking, churning, and
poultry-raising. We have kept boarders,
taught school, taught music, written for
the newspapers, made speeches, and car
ried on an extensive millinery and dress
making business. We can prove by the
publio that this work has been well done.
Now, having reached the age of 36, and
having brought up a family of boys to
set type, and a daughter to run the mil
linery store, we propose to edit and pub
lish a newspaper, and we intend to es
tablish it as one of the permanent insti
tutions of the country."
The heirs of Lazarus J. Powell, who
died in Philadelphia about 1850 or 1651,
without making a will or leaving any
instructions as o what dispofition should
be made ot bis vast property, said to
amount to $2,000,000, have turned up,
and are about instituting inquiries rela
tive to what steps are necessary to re
cover the property. The heirs are all
residents of the Southern States, and
are prepared to offer incontestable proofs
of their rights. It whs only recently
that they learned of the death of Mr.
Powell. Mr. P. was an old bachelor
and a very singular man, devoting all
bis time to business, never making any
attempts to open a correspondence with .
his kiiiBinen. It is understood that at
the time of his death the courts adver
tised for the heirs to come forward and
present their claims, but they failing to
do so the property was escheat to the
State of Pennsylvania.
It is not so generally known as it
ought to be that a human being is liable
to infection from a glandered horse.
Nunerous such cases have been reoorded
in medical works ; and only a few weeks
ago a man named Martin, who lived in
Washington county, Md., suffered a hor
rible death from this cause. While at
tending to a horse which had the glan
ders, some of the virus from the deceased
animal's nose or mouth found its way
into a cut on one of his thumbs, and
shortly afterward he was taken with
spasms, which were succeeded by severe
nausea and utter prostration. Although
medical assistance was immediately pro
cured, and the man had every reasonable
attention, he lived only a few days after
the infection manifested itself. Before
dying his body became a mass of ulcers,
and at the end the flesh fell in pieces
from his bones. When a horse is found
to be glandered, it should be killed at
once, and proper measures taken to dis
infect every object that has been in con
tact with the animal.
Many curious facts of interest are
coming to light as to matters in Paris
during the recent Beige. For example :
No one was allowed to borrow more
than fifty francs on any article, no mat
ter what its value might be. In spite of
this, the pressure lor money was so
great that the store rooms of the Monte
de Piete became encumbered with arti
cles, which 150,000 persons of all classes
had pledged. There were no fewer than
100,000 watches and 25,000 clocks, dia
mond necklaces, and bracelets of fabu
lous values. There were also evidences
of the distress to which persons of rank
had been reduced one piece of lace after
the other, the last cashmere shawl, or a
pocket-handkerchief embroidered with a
coronet of such fine material that it was
still possible to raise three francs, the
lowest figure allowed upon it ; gentle
men s gold-headed canes, even ordinary
riding whips, and no fewer than 2,000
opera glasses. No fewer than 2,300 poor
wretches nad pawned their mattresses,
and starving seamstresses had pawned
as a last resource, probably, 1,600 pairs of
scissors.
A correspondent of the Albany Jour
nal tells the following big story about
what two of his friends said they saw
one day. " They saw a wasp riding on a
green worm one and a half inches long.
How far he had ridden they did not
know, but after they saw him they
watched him until he bad ridden twenty-five
feet Occasionally the worm
would stop, lie motionless as though he
was dead, when the wasp after a little,
would spur him up, and then the worm
would go on. The wasp kept the worm
in as direct a course as ha could. After a
whila the worm stopped and the wasp
dismounted and ran quickly and re
moved a little stone or pieoe of ground
about two inches from where the worm
lay, and then seizing the worm by the
head drew it into the hole, Presently
the wasp came out, put on the gravel top
over the hole, covered the stone over,
and seemed to be ready to fly, when
they killed him and dug down about
two inches and took out the worm,
which was dead." -