f
r - ' , ' ' - ' ....
HENRY A. PARSONS, Jr., Editor and Publisher , ELK COUNTY THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. Two DottAna van Akmxjm.
VOL. I. RIDGWAY, FA., THURSDAY, JUNE 8, 1871. . NO. 15.
.- , A JUNE JOCKNEY.
BY LAURA D. MCnOLS.
Would you put your soul Into sweetest tune ?
Take a railway ride In the heart of Juno.
Go without company, go without book,
Drink In the country with long, loving look ;
Care, business, politics, leave far behind,
Aud let nature's sweetness flow ovr jour
mind.
Scores of wild roses, as pink as sci-shclls,
Skirt the rough pastures, and flush the deep
dells;
Seas of white daisies, with wide-open eyes,
Smiling so honestly up at the skies ;
Brooks o'er their stones babble sweet the old
tunc,
As we ride through the country la blossoiny
June.
(roups of mild cattle stand under the trees,
Chewing their cud in the sleepiest ease ;
Grazing or lying or standing midstream,
The sober old cows are so used to the scream
And the rush of the train, they scarce wink at
the sight,
But the calves madly plunge in their ignorant
fright.
Now, acres of clover, the red nnd the white,
Like rustical beauties, so healthy aud bright,
Fragrautly bending in every soft breeze,
Hummed o'er and plundered by armies of
bees ;
Here too are buttercups yellow as gold,
And great starry dandelions jolly aud bold.
Thickets oi elder In generous bloom
Well I remember the faint, sweet perfume
Of the fat, creamy clusters, suggestive to mo
Of grandma's "herb-closet" nnd "elder-blo'-tea."
Next come bitter yarrow, and chiccory stars
blue,
With sturdy St. John's-wort, bright -orange in
hue.
Great rafts of logs on the Mcrrimac ride,
Trees that once towered and waved in their
pride,
Helplessly bound, now they float near the
shore,
And the free, lonely forest shall know them
no more :
Yet perchance, as the masts of some queen of
me seas,
They shall yet stand erect and exult in the
breeze 1
Now, a still lonely pool where the bluo flag's
in bloom,
Where the wild whito azalea wastes sweetest
perfume ;
Where floats the queen lily, so pure and se
rene, A star, o'er whose beauty tall bulrushes lean ;
Where turtles are basking, where frogs croak
and croon,
As we dash through the country in musical
June.
With whistle aud scream, through a village we
fly,
Stores, churches, and dwellings, like phantoms
flit by ;
A little red school-house, tho children run
out,
For a "ten minutes' recess," they scamper and
shout,
Toss up their torn hats in salute to tho train,
Then return to their rough, rustic trolics nsuiu.
'Neath the ardent June suu how the fertile
fields lie,
Here striped with potatoes, there rustling with
rye;
How sweeps the brisk breeze through the bil
lowy wheat,
O'er round-headed cabbages, purple-stemmed
beet,
O'er feathery carrots, o'er peas aud beans tall,
l'umpkius, parsnips, and lettuce, there's sun
shine lor all 1
For strawberries ripo that hide under their
leaves,
For swallows, that twittering build 'ucalh the
eaves ;
For tho currants' clear globes, that so prettily
swing,
Like little red lanterns, all strung on a string ;
For every soul that's with nature in tune,
There is rest and delight In a journey in June !
Master Charles.
HIS SURPRISING ADVENTURES.
At exactly half-past 9 o'clock on the
morning of Saturday, August 28th, 18G9,
Master Charles Suniinerton, aged five
years, disappeared mysteriously from his
residence on Folsoin street, Ban Fran
cisco. At twenty-five minutes past nino
he had been observed by the butcher
amusing himself by going through that
popular youthful exercise known as
" turning the crab," a feat in which he
was singularly proficient. At a court of
inquiry summarily held in the back par
lor at fifteen minutes past 10, Bridget,
cook, deposed to having detected him at
20 minutes past 9 in the felonious ab
straction oi sugar from the pantry,
which by the same token, had she known
what was a coniin' she'd have never pre
vinted. Patsey, a shrill voiced youth
from a neighboring alley, testified hav
ing seen "Chawley," at half-past 9, by
the butcher's shop round the corner,
but as this young gentleman chose to
throw out the gratuitous belief that the
missing child had been converted into
sausages by the butcher, his testimony
was received with some caution by the
female portion of the court, and down
right scorn and contempt by its mascu
line members. But whatever might
have been the hour of his departure, it
wus certain that from half-past 9 A. II.,
until 9 p. m., when he was brought
home by a policeman, Charles Summer
ton was missing. Being natufally of a
reticent disposition, he has since resisted,
with one exoeption, any attempt to wrest
from him a statement of his whereabouts
during that period. That exception haj
been myself, lie has recited to me the
following in the strictest confidence :
His intention on leaving the doorstep
of his dwelling was to proceed without
delay to Van Dieman's land, by way of
Second and Market streets. This pro
ject was subsequently modified so far as
to permit a visit to Otaheite, where
Captain Cook was killed. The outfit
for his voyage consisted of two car tick
ets, five cents in Bilver, a fishing line, the
brass capping of a spool of cotton, which,
in his eyes, bore some resemblance to
metallio currency, and a Sunday school
library ticket. His garments, admirably
adapted to the exigencies of any clime,
were severally a straw bat with a pink
ribbon, a striped shirt, over which a pair
of trousers, uncommonly wide in com
parison to their length, were buttoned,
striped balmoral stockings, which gave
his youthful legs something tho appear
ance of winterarreen candy, and oopper-
toed shoes with iron heels, capable of
striking nre front any flagstone. The
latter quality, Master Charles could not
help feeling, would be of infinite service
to him in the wilds of Van Dieman's
land, which, as pictorially represented in
his geography, seemed to be deficient in
corner groceries and matches.
Exactly as the clock struck the half
hour the straw hat and short legs of
Master Charles Summerton disappeared
behind the corner. He ran rapidly,
partly by way of inuring himself to the
fatigues of the journey before him and
partly by way of testing his speed with
that of a North Beach car which was
proceeding in that direction. The con
ductor not aware of this generous emu
lation, and being somewhat concerned
at tho spectacle of a pair of very short
twinkling legs so far in the rear, stopped
his car and generously assisted the
youthful Summerton upon the platform.
From this point a hiatus of several hours
duration occurred in Masfer Charles'
narrative. He is under the impression
that he rode out not only his two tickets,
but that he subsequently became in
debted to the company for several trips
to and from the opposite termini, and
that, at last, resolutely refusing to give
any explanation of his conduct, he was
finally ejected, much to his relief, on a
street corner. Although, as he informs
us, he felt perfectly satisfied with the
arrangement, he was compelled under
tho circumstances, to hurl after the con
ductor an opprobrious appellation, which
he had ascertained from Patsey was the
correct thing in such emergencies, and
possessed peculiarly exasperating proper
ties. We now approach a thrilling part of
the narrative, before which most of the
adventures of the "Boy's Own Book"
pale into insignificance. There are times
when the recollection of this adventure
causes Charles to break into a cold
sweat, and he has since its occurrence
been awakened by lamentations and out
cries in the night season by merely
dreaming of it. On the corner of tho
street lay several empty sugar hogsheads.
A few young gentlemen disposed them
selves therein, armed with sticks, with
which they removed the sugar which
still adhered to the stave joints, and con
veyed it to their mouths. Finding a
cask not yet preempted, Master Charles
set to work, and for a few moments re
veled in a wild saccharine dream, whence
he was finally aroused by an angry
voice and the rapidly retreating foot
steps of his comrades. An ominous
sound smote upon his ear, and the next
moment he felt the cask wherein he lay
uplifted and set against tho wall. He
was a prisoner, but as yet undiscovered.
Being satisfied in his mind that hanging
was the systematic and legalized penalty
for the crime he had committed, he kept
down manfully the cry that rose to his
lips.
In a few moments he felt the cask
again lifted by a powerful hand, which
appeared above him at the edge of his
prison, and which ho concluded belonged
to the ferocious giant, Blunderbore,
whose features and limbs he had fre
emen tlv met in colored pictures. Before
he could recover from his astonishment,
his cask was placed with several others
on a cart nnd rapidly driven away. The
ride which ensued he describes as being
fearful in the extreme. Rolled around
like a pill in a box, the agonies which he
suffered may be hinted at, not spoken
Evidences of that protracted struggle
were visible on his garments, which were
of the consistency of syrup, arid his hair,
which for several hours, under the treat
ment of hot water, yielded a thin treacle.
At length the cart stopped on one of the
wharves, and the driver began to unload.
As he tilted over the cask in which
Charles lay, an exclamation burst from
his lips, and the edge of the cask fell from
his hands, sliding its lato occupant to the
wharf. To regain his short legs, and to
put the greatest possible distance be
tween himself and the cartman, were his
first movements on regaining his liberty
He did not stop until he reached the
eorner ot X ront street.
Another blank succeeded in this vera-
cious history. He cannot remember how
or when he found himself in front of the
circus-tent. He had an indistinct re
membrance of having passed through a
long street or streets, which were all
closed, and which made him fear that it
was Sunday, and that he had spent a
miserable night in the sugar cask. But
he remembered hearing the sound of
music within the tent, and of creeping
upon his hands and knees when no oiid
was looking, until he passed under the
canvas. His description of the wonders
contained in that circle, of the terrific
feats performed by a man on a pole,
since practiced by him in the back yard ;
of the horses, one of which was spotted,
and resembled an animal in his Noah's
ark, hitherto unrecognized and undefin-
ed; of the female equestrians, whose
dresses could only be equalled in magni
ficence by tho frocks ot his sister s dolls ;
of the painted clowns, whose lokes ex-
cited a merriment somewhat tinged by
an undefined fear, was an efiort ot lang
uago which this pen could but weakly
transcribe, and which no quantity ot ex-
clumation points could sufficiently illus
trate He is not quite certain what fol
lowed. He remembered that almost im
mediately on leaving the circus it be
came dark, and that be fell asleep,
waking up at intervals on the corners of
the streets, on front steps, in somebody's
arms, and finally in his own bed. He
was not aware of experiencing any re
gret for his conduct. He does not recall
at any time a disposition to go home ; he
remembers distinctly that he felt hungry.
He has made this disclosure in confi
dence. He wishes to have xt respected
He want tJ know if you have five cents
about you. Bret liarte.
Among the MalW.
A correspondent of the Geneseo Itepuh.
lican, who has evidently " been there,"
thus graphically describes his experience
as deputy Postmaster t
I was sworn in and entered upon
the duties of the office on the first of
July, 18. Yes, I was sworn into the
office, and for fear ene oath would not
answer the purpose. I swore in the of
fice every day for a year ; at the end of
which time! had become to profane
that I Bworo myself out of office without
any difficulty.
1 shall never forget that first day's ex
perience. It was as hot as an attio
sleeping-room, and the office about as
large.
ijails wore in from Slangville, Talk
Town, Blow-on-Valley, Lip Creek, Gab
Hill, Buzin Flats, Clackfield, and
Shouting Hollow.
Mails were in from the east, west,
north and south.
Way mails, side mails, catch mails and
through mails all slung at you like
bundles of wheat when you can't mow
them away half as fast as they are slung.
I stood in the midst of that mountain of
mail matter, ao helpless and dumb
founded. I didn't know what the mat
ter wa9. I was as weak and limber as
the limpsiest bag in the pile. I octually
did not know myself from the Bides of
sole leather that lay about me.
In ten minutes the mails went east
and west, in fourteen they went north
and south, and already a half dczen
sorrel whiskered, raccoon-capped stage
drivers were shouting " Mails 1" " hurry
up there," " d d slow this morning,"
and I heard one shimbly-shambly, grass
fed mulo director say to another, " I
guess the new deputy is a better hand
on sorting taters than he is letters."
I knew I wan't much of a sorter that
day, nor much of a fighter any day, but
1 did sorter want to get at mat miserable
skinful of revilement, and show him my
proficiency as distributing clerk, but I
wa9 otherwise engaged.
Frantically I seized the mail key, and
the first thing I attempted to do with it
was to wind the omce clock, t inaliy l
succeeded in getting the mail bagsopen,
and all emptied into a huge box in the
centre of the office.
As near as I could guess there must
have been about fourteen bushels of un
assorted mail matter.
If it had been about fourteen bushels
of beans to be handpicked, the task
would not have seemed any more form
idable. Slangville letters went to the right,
Talk Town letters went to the left,
Blow-on-Valley went over the right
shoulder. Lip Creek over the left, Uab
liill went obliquely to the leu, cilack
field went directly over the head, and
Shouting Hollow between the legs ; the
space directly in front being reserved
fo Bottleford.
I was a little particular at first not to
make any mistakes, but the grumbling
of those waiting for their letters, and
the shouting ot the drivers without,
warned me that my time was nearly up
So I just threw them around like deal
ing whist, gave eaeh a fair proportion
reserving the biggeBt pile for Bottleford,
Then I stalled the mail bags, and
jerked them out of the office door, and
it was wonderful to see how all the
hurry and impatience of those miserable
drivers vanished as soon as they got
possession of them. One, the noisiest of
the lot, the one who had made the un
dignified and d-tered comparison as a
torter, actually hung around for half an
hour, staring at me through the win
dow, and laughing at my perplexities.
He said he would have me reported at
headquarters.
I made my mind if I ever got a chance,
I would report at hit headquarters, and
land too, lor the matter ot that.
The stage drivers disposed ot, a more
formidable and more impossible task
presented itsolf.
Three hundred and fifty letter boxes
to be hunted up, each with the owner s
namo in fine hand, written on its upper
margin. My boss, the P. M., told me I
must find them out myself, then I would
always remember where they were.
He was a man who had far more con.
fidence in his Judgment than I hod in
mv memory. 1 recollect (and very sur
prising it is that I do) when I was first
put upon tne multiplication table, mat
solid square table, as constructed in the
days'ot Daboll and Willot.
I remember how dim, how uncertain,
how unintelligible its twelve ranks of
figures looked, beginning with 1 and
ending with 144.
Just so that parallelogram ot hollow
squares looked to me at mat moment.
It seemed as if each individual owner
was gazing with blood-thirsty eyes upon
his number, and unless he received a
letter he would go for the deputy. In a
fit of desperation I seized a large pack
age of letters.
Alonzo Flummer was the nrst name.
Where was Alonzo Flummer's box '(
If the name had been written on it in
letters as big as horseshoes, I could not
have seen it. I slammed it mta the
nearest box.
I did so with all the rest.
Every box had a letter as far as they
went, and then I raised the slide. A
rush was made for the opening.
" No. 9, No. 77, No. 00, No. GO, No.
102, Sir, No. 240, if you please: anything
for Storkesr anything tor Bilger r No,
319, No. 18a, anything for bhellgrave i
anything for Piokletop r"
And so it went, every mouth belching
forth a number or a name. I shoved
out the letters indiscriminately aud iui
partially, without regard to age, sex
nationality, color, or previous condi
tion.
Everybody got letters, but not one in
fifty got their own.
" Here, Sam," says oue, " is a letter for
you in my box." " Yes, and here is one
tor you in mine.
"What's this doing in my box?
savs another.
Ah yes, excuse me, a slight mistake.
belongs to Mr. Bangs." "Bangs, did
you say V I just asked and you said there
was nothing for Bangs."
With my pencil I marked on it the
number of the box from which I had
taken it, and handed it out, remarking
in a tone of injured innocence that it
was a mistake of the sender, and not of
mine."
What la lttf. naufv Pftllv Trias' Ittf-
ter doiu' in my box," screamed a rural
swaiuess on tne rigm oi vue atiacaing
column. " Mistook your name. Mad'
am though it was politeness. ,
But the greatest pests of all were the
school children.
As soon as school was out, there was
one wild raoe for the poet office. They
began to enquire as soon as they came
within snooting distance.
They would enquire tor themselves,
and then for anybody that lived within
five miles of them.
" Anything for any of the Murphys 'r"'
yells a little freckled-facad, yellow
topped potato mound, with nationality
so strongly developed that you could
smell it. .... ...........
" Anvthintr for Jane Murphv ?" No.
"Anything for Ann Murphy i" No.
"Anything for Tom Murphy r" No,
nor for Pat Murphy, nor Dennis Murphy,
nor Pete Murphy, nor for any Murphy,
dead, living, unborn, native or foreign
born, naturalized or otnerwise, male or
female, why created He them? The
Murphy family disposed of, the Fitz Ger
alds, aud Fitz Patricks and Fitz Moon
leys were thrown at me until I caught
them myself. I had Fitz chronic, and I
could tell every day when they were
"coming" on.
Children came to the cilice to en
quire tor letters, so young that they
hadn t strength to carry home the week
ly Tribune, and who didn't know the
difference between a letter and door
plate.
.Not weekly nor semi-weekly, nor dai
ly, but hourly, ns often as they could
think of it.
I have often seen them hang around
on the outside waiting for their hour to
come and enquire for letters.
Ctreat strapping girls came every day
for weeks aud inon.hs who had the mea
sles oftener than they had a letter, but
they might have come to see the depu
ty, which was better than the measles,
if not quite ns good as receiving a let
ter. Ono man came every day for three
weeks, and made a terrible rumpus
every time he came about the careless
ness and inefficiency ot the mail service
At last his important letter ariived, and
it proved to be a patent medicine al-
mauao of last year, but he had got hi-
teeu or twenty dollars' worth of labor
and information out of me for nothing,
and he was accordingly satisfied.
I like an enquiring mind. It shows
research and progression.
It is the spirit reaching out tor some
thing by which to draw itself higher,
and it gets hold of a soft thing when it
grabs a deputy postmaster.
lie can get more civil answers out ot
nim m one minute, than no can blast
out of all the railroad conductors in
Christendom, and he gets it for nothing,
which is wrong. . .
It the government would charge a
farthing for every NO that is given in
answer to the enquiry, " Is there any
thing in the office for me r"' it would pay
off the national debt in six weeks ; and
another great advantage it would be,
their deputies would not be required to
NO so much, which would give people ot
ordinary minds and women a chance to
display themselves.
Personal Appearance of Laura Fair.
The New York Sun gives us the fol
lowing accouut of the personal appear
ance and character of Mrs. Laura Fair,
now convicted at San Francisco for kil
ling Judge A. P. Crittenden:
Mrs. t air is said to be one ot the most
fascinating women that ever destroyed
the peace ot a family, bhe is above the
ordinary height of women, symmetrical
in form, graceful m carriage, and in
fatuating in manner and magnetism
lier hair is a dark chestnut, her eyes
dark brown, and her complexion as clear
as that of a child of three years. Her
hands and feet are small and elegantly
moulded. With the exception of her
liason with Crittenden, she was always
wary and cunning, and the terror of
married women wherever she went. It
was evident that she never did anything
that could call tor rebuke, sue was
smouldering volcano, and not averse
to a warm flirtation. Men thronged
around her wherever she went, and wo
men hated her with inexpressible viru
lence. bhe had the entree to the best
society in Kentucky and New Orleans,
She is not a thorough-bred, but viva
cious, sprightly and magnetic, and when
she entered a saloon or ball room, the
gentlemen would desert other ladies to
gather around her and compete for her
smiles and recognition, bhe bad
mania for stock speculations, and an
immense gift for luring bankers and
merchants into her schemes. Her tern-
Eer is exceedingly violent, and she has
een known to break the head of a ser-
vunt with a chair. She is fond of cham
paigne, and sometimes takes too much
of it at dinner. In short, she is a beauti
ful, heartless, fearless, terrible tigress.
who loves and hates like a wild beast,
and is always ready to murder anybody
who crosses her passions.
How Women arc Fattened,
The Loudon Court Journal tells about
the very curious mode of fattening for
tne imperial baiera practiced in Moroc
co. You take a plump young damsel of
about 14, with a tendency to obesity
few Mooresque girls are destitute of
such a tendency aud you shut her up
in a room of which the windows are
carefully darkened by heavy curtains
ot green silk. You cause your plump
young daiuEtl to sit cross-legged ou a
divau, and then, having by her side a
bowl full of covscousou, or moistened meal
rolled into balls, you cram her during
certain number of hours every day with
as many of these balls as she can conve
niently swallow. Well crammed, the
Emperor of Morocco will pay an exceed
ingly handsome price for her. That
nothing may interfere with the due con.
duct of the fattening process, a black
nurse stands behind the incipient fa
vorite with a matrank, or big stick, much
used in Moorish domestic economy, and
if the patient manifests any reluctance to
swallow the balls of eouscoutou she is Jin-
mediately and unmercifully thrashed,
1 BOTH acted festivities. A young
woman in. the States is threatening to
get a divorce on the novel ground of
"protracted festivities." She says her
husband celebrated his marriage by
getting drunk, and has kept up the fes
tival ever since.
Domestic Life In Norway.
As a general thing tho Norwegian
peasants, both mon and women, retire to
rest without undressing, merely remov
ing their heavy wadmal, or shoepskin
jackets, and sometimes the woolen
worsted nightcap which torms tho usual
covering for the head. I often entered
.Norwegian sater, or tarm, in the mid
dle of the night, and the occupants of
the bed or the best bed, it there were
several would immediately vacate it
and offer it to the guest, themselves re
tiring to continue their broken rest in
the barn or on the floor. On entering a
Norwegian country house the visitor
will observe a number of wooden boxes,
of all sizes, placed all round the room,
and serving, in many instances, also as
table, chairs, sofas, bedsteads, eto. They
are all painted in gy and glaring colors ;
a rod ground, with blue and yellow
stripes, and bouquets in green and pink,
seem to be the favorite designs. On
each is painted, in large letters, the
name of the maker and proprietor, as also
the date and year ot its manufacture.
This is invariably the case, and from
these dates it would seem that most of
these boxes are very ancient and much
valued heirlooms in a .Norwegian family,
The oldest box I ever saw was in a sater
on Doorefield. It was a tremendous
affair fully three feet by six, and four
foet high in which the budeier, or girl
in charge of the sater, kept all her Sun
day wearing apparel, change ot linen,
and nadbrod, Iresn butter ana oia cnoese,
It bore the inscription, " Gunhilde Oluls-
dotter, A. D., 17 U," and was, according
ly, more than a century and a half old,
In these boxes, which serve the purposes
of the bureaux and chiffonieres of less
secluded (though not by any means more
civilized) countries, are kept the holiday
dresses, table linen, extra linen and
homespun cloth, and also the silver
spoons and saved-up " specier" of the
whole family, and it must be indeed a
grand occasion when any of their boxes
are opened aud their contents displayed
Hardly a .Norwegian tarm-bouse is
without an immense old-fashioned loom,
upon which all tho cloth and linen used
in the family is woven. Tailors and
shoemakers are unknown in rural Nor
way, every article of wearing apparel
being made at home, from the raising of
the flax aud clipping ot the sheep, to the
last stitch of extra embroidery and the
finishing spangle ot a bridal out-ht. Jn
a corner of the shelf will be invariably
tound the -tools and utensils tor shoe'
making, which are iu steady request
during tho long winter evenings when
new shoes are made for the whole house
hold, and the old worn-out ones repaired.
If there is no more of this work to be
dono, carving in wood is resorted to to
kill time and in this art the Norwegians
are wonderfully proficient, equaling the
peasantry of the Tyrol and Black Forest,
whose carvings are known and for sale
all over the world. Every man always
carries a short knife in a sheath attached
to his belt, and the wooden handle of
this tollekuiv is often a perfect specimen
in the art of beautiful and original carv
ing. Wooden spoons, tankards, bowls,
walking sticks and boxes of all kinds are
in this way manufactured, many of
which are bought as souvenirs by the
tourists or sportsmen who visit the
country districts. letter to Evening Post.
One's Friends.
Money can buy many things, good
and evil. All the wealth of the world
could not buy you a friend, nor pay you
for tho loss of one. " I have wanted on
ly oue thing to make uie happy," Haz
litt writes, " but wanting that, have
wanted everything." And again : " My
heart, shut up in a prison house of this
rude clay, has never found, nor will it
ever find, a heart to speak to."
W e are the weakest ot spendthrifts if
we let ono friend drop oil' through inat
tention, or let one push away another,
or if we hold aloof from one for petty
jealousy or heedless slight or roughness.
Would you throw away a diamond be
cause it pricked you? One good friend
is not to be weighed against the jewels
of all the earth. If there is coolness or
unkinduess between us, let us come face
to face, and have it out. Quick before
love grows cold! "Life is too Bhort to
quarrel in," or to carry black thoughts
ot friends. It i was wrong, i am sorry ;
if you, then I am sorrier yet, for should
I not grieve for my friend's misfortune 'f
aud the mending ot your fault does not
lie with me. But the forgiving it does,
aud that is the happier office. Give me
your hand and call it even. There 1 it
is gone ; and I thank a kind heaven I
keep my friend still I A mend is too
precious a thing to be lightly held, but
it must be a little heart that cannot find
room for more than one cr two. The
kindness I feel for you warms me toward
all the rest, makes me long to do some
thing to make you all happy. It is easy
to lose a friend, but a new one will not
come for calling, nor make up for an
old one when he comes.
An Effectual Rebuke.
On his way home from his last tour
in Ireland, ltev. Rowland Hill was very
much annoyed at the reprobate conduct
of the captain and mate, who were
greatly addicted to the uugentlemanly
habit cf swearing. First the captain
would swear at the mate, and then they
would both swear at the wind.
"Stop, stop,' shouted Uill, "let us
havo fair play, gentlemen ; it's my turn
now."
" At what is your turn ir" asked the
captain.
" At swearing," replied Hill.
After waiting until his patience was
exhausted, the captain urged Mr. Hill
to be quick and take his turn, for he
wanted to begin again.
" No, no," said Hill, " I can't be hur-
ried. I have a light to take my own
time and swear at my own conveni
ence."
"Perhaps you don't intend to take
vour turn." responded the other.
" Pardon me," said Hill, M but I do as
soon as I can find the good of doing so."
The rebuke had its desired tnect
there was not another oath on the voy
age.
Offensive Breath.
The popular term "bad breath" is
a very significant expression for this un
pleasant condition. What is more offen
sive to the acuto olfactory sense than a
fetid breath Y It engenders a feeling of
aversion and disgust, which is not readi
ly overcome.
Ureal care should be exercisea in Keep
ing the mouth free from all extraneous
substances. After each meal, a quill or
ivory toothpick should be used to remove
any aliment that may have become
lodged in the tcetn during tne process,
of mastication, and the mouth rinsed
with tepid, soft water. Every night,
previous to retiring, the teeth should be
cleansed with a soft tooth-brush and
water. As a rule, tooth pastes and pow
dors should be eschewed as harmful
agents. If a dentrifice is desired, a lit
tle fine toilet soap, or charcoal reduced
to an impalpable powder, may be used.
This is all that will be required. De
cayed teeth are a very prolific source of
mephitio breath. As soon as it is ascer
tained that a tooth is affected, it should
have immediate attention from some
competent dentist.
Carious teeth are often the source of
serious functional and general disturb
ance. It sometimes occurs that persons
with a number of defective teeth are
constantly ailing with either gastric or
nervous troubles, when, upon a removal
of these unsound members, all the un
pleasant symptoms promptly disappear..
It may be well to give a word ot cau
tion in regard to diet ; by irregularities
in eating, the digestive functions be
come impaired, and for want of pro
per digestion, the aliment undergoes
zymotic change, during which process
noxious gases are evolved, aud cause a
foul breath. When cases arise from dis
ease, it is either of the stomach, lungs,
or the respiratory passages. In these
cases a physician should be consulted at
once.
Many substances are in vogue to
sweeten the breath, and to disguise any
unpleasant scent, as of spirits, tobacco,
etc. With the vulgar it is customary to
use some pungent aromatic, as cloves,
etc., but this savors too strongly of the
drinking bar to be used by any but tip
plers. The following, used as a mouth
wash, will be found excellent. Take
chlorate of potosh, three drachms, and
dissolve in eight ounces of rose or other
medicated water. As an article with
which to flavor the breath, there is prob
ably nothing equal to the Wild winger
(Asarum Canadensis.) It is used by
chewing a small portion of the root, or if
in powder, it can be mado into a lozengo.
It imparts to the breath an agreeable,
spicy aroma. Dental Register.
Man or Woman
The authorities of St. Louis are just
now in a quandary over some sort of a
being that is capublo of transforming
itsult into both man and woman (to all
outward appearance), at pleasure. This
remarkable personage represents both a
man and a woman, as occasion or con
venience may require. His (or her) ad
vent in St. Louis began with renting
elegant apartments for himself and sis
ter. The next day tne Bister was tound
iu the room, but was not seen to enter.
She said her brother had gone out, and
would be in towards evening and pay
the rent. Watch was kept for the com
ing ot tne brother, but no came not.
During the vigil of the landlady the
brother was seen to go out, who inform
ed her that he had given the money to
his sister, but ipon repairing to the
room no sister could be found. Still
later the brother came in, and tho sister
was seen to go out, she telling the same
story of her brother, but no brother
could be tound in the rooms, neither
could the parties be found together.
This kind of farce was enacted for several
days, when the lady of the house think
ing she had been bewitched applied to
the police for succor, but they could not
find the brother in, and failing in get
ting her rent, the landlady caused the
removal of her mysterious tenant. She
next turned up at a hotel where she
"sponged" dinners one day as a young
man, and next day as a woman. He,
she, or rather it, was then arrested and
subjected to a medical examination, but
oven that tailed to solve the mystery,
The doctors looked wise, and shook their
heads, declaring their inability to give
correct information in regard to its sex.
The matter is still being investigated ; in
the meantime he is allowed to don such
apparel as she chooses, license being
given it to that tnect.
Moral Influence.
The influence of a good example is far-
reaching; for our experience and con
flicts with the world lead us at times to
indulge misanthropio sentiments, and
charge all men with selfish and impure
motives. The play of pride, prejudice,
and passion, and the eagerness manifest
ed by the great majority ot men to ad
vance their own interests, often at the
expense of others, and in violation of the
golden rule, cause us to look with sus
picion on the best intents of others. Ar
rogance, hypocrisy, treachery, and vio
lence, every day outrage justice, till we
are almost disposed to distrust human
nature, and become discouraged. But
amid all that is Bad and disheartening
in this busy, noisy wo; Id, now and then
there is presented to us a lite of such uni
form virtue, that we recognize in it I
character that brings hope for the perfect
development ana ultimate regeneration
of our race. Such characters are pre
cious, and such examples should be held
up to the world for its admiration and
imitation ; they should be snatched from
oblivion and treasured in the hearts and
thoughts of all who are in process of
forming habits and maturing character,
The Young Men's Christian Conven
tion in Washington has decided that it
is inexpedient for it to meddle with the
subject of the use of tobacco and the
question of woman's work in the church.
It rightly believes that there are other
subjects of much more immediate im
portance than either of these the first
especially.
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
Milk in trood for babes. Curd is not ;
neither Bhould you let them have their
whey.
Twenty-six thousand children erenow
learning music in the Boston public (
schools. Fifteen thousand of them are
so far advanced as to be competent to
take part in a musical festival.
" What is your consolation in life and
death V" asked a Sabbath school super
intendent of a young lady in the Bible
class, who blushed and said, "id rather
be excused from speaking his name."
Of the editors of the Cornell Era, just
elected by their fellow students, one is a
waiter at asoadula place, ana ono, lor
merly a member of the Maine Legisla
ture, is now working his way through
college.
A fond mother in Kingston, N. Y.,
keeps an old-fashioned rocking-chair
sitting in a corner as an ornament, be
cause in it she has rocked ten babies, all
of whom grew up to be men, and are
now living and married.
The present partners of tho Eoths-
childs number some 70 in all, and are
the fourth remove from Mayor Aneelm
Rothschild, the founder of the great
family of Hebrew bankers.
In the Friendly Islands, where fifty
years ago there was not one native
Christian, but gross and unbroken dark
ness, the regular attendance on public
worship now exceed 30,000, and contri
butions to religious objee ts are over
$10,000 a year.
The Emperor of Germany h reported
to be a practical printer. All the mem
bers of the royal family of Prussia ate
required to learn some trade, aud Wil
liam chose typography as the most desi
rable craft, and spent three years at the
case.
An estate' in Germany, valued at $1,
500,000, is said to be seeking, as one of
the heirs, Frederick .William Keyser,
who served as a Union soldier during
our war, and who, when last heard from,
was a paroled prisoner, lying seriously
ill at Wilmington, N. C.
The fortune of Miss Burdett Coutts,
recently raised to the peerage by Queen
Victoria, is estimated at 10,000,000. She
has given to charitable purposes not
less than 5,000,000, and will leave large
bequests to benevolent institutions after
her death.
A Chicago German made quite an ad
vance toward blotting out his name and
memory, the other day, by burning
down his house, corn crib, and stables,
including 1,500 bushels of corn and
three horses, and then cutting his own
throat.
A clergyman who was lately depict
ing the alurminsr increase ot intemper
ance, astonished nis hearers by exclaim
ing: "A young man in my neighbor
hood died very suddenly last Sunday
while I was preaching the Gospel in a
beastly Btato of intoxication."
The Empress Augusta has been in a
state of profound mental distress, for a
year past, at the disappearance, period
ically, of her most valuable articles of
jewelry. None of the police could dis
cover the thief; but, a few weeks since,
one of the Empress s little grandchildren
was found to be the culprit. The child
had taken the jewels for the benefit of
her large family of dolls.
From Watertown, Wis., a correspond
ent writes to tho Cincinnati Volknreund
that, with the exception of a place here
and there, the whole of Southeastern
Wisconsin is now almost entirely Ger
man, and that in tho other portions of
the State the native American element
is regularly and rapidly retreating. He
says that the especially Uerman dis
tricts are already too much overpeopled
for agricultural operations in the Amer
ican method, and a strong tide of emi
gration has already set in for Minneso
ta, Nebraska and Iowa. The younger
sons of farmers are furnished by their
parents with money to found homes in
those States, and the small farms are
bought up by the extensive landholders.
Meanwhile immigration from txermany
continues and contributes to keep up the
price of land. '
A New Orleans paper relates a deplor
able circumstance connected with the
recent hanging of two Spaniards in that
city. The merchant from whom was
purchased the rope wherewith the dread
sentence of the law was executed, was
induced to witness the scene, which
made a deep impression on his mind.
An hour or so after he returned to his
house the evening papers appeared, and
while he was reclining in an arm-chair
his wife read to him a detailed account
of the execution. Suddenly he inter
rupted her by exclaiming in a frightened
tone, " O, I see them I I see them I" and
scarcely had those words escaped when
he dropped dead. It is stated that tho
deceased gentleman had for some time
been afflicted with heart disease, and the
impression which the scene at the scaffold
made upon him had evidently hastened
his death.
Mr 8. Jane Swishelin is in favor of men
as oooks, and by way of illustration, re
lates the following : "I sever knew the
significance of the impulse which leads
all boys to want to bake griddlecakes,
until I saw a French half-breed from
Selkirk, beside his ironless cart, on the
open prairie, preparing his evening
meal. He had a large fish broiling on
the coals without any intervention of a
gridiron. His batter and his ' flapjacks'
were in a bucket. He heated and greased
a long-handled sheet-iron frying-pan,
poured in enough batter to cover the
bottom, set it over the bottom, kept on
terenely attending to other matters, aa
though no 'flapjacks' were iu danger of
being burned, as it would have been if
any woman had set it to bake ; but just
at the right moment he came up, looked
into the pan, took hold of the handle,
shook it gently, then with a sudden jerk
tent the oake spinning into the air,
caught it as it oame down square iu the
centre, with the other side up. The
cake was turned aa no woman could
have turned it, and with an ease whiou
showed that the man was ia hit proper
sphere."