7
- -torn
J. 0. LUTHER, Editoti and Publisher,
A LOCAL A ND FA MIL Y JO URN A L.
Terms $2.00 a Year, in Advance- ,
VOL. II. .
RIDGWAY, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 1870.
NO. 2.
I if Site
Infill
AN AUTUMN HONG.
Below the headland with its cedar plumes
A lapse of spacious water twinkles keen,
An cver-suillinjr play of gleams and glooms
And flashes of clear green.
The sumac's garnet pennons where I lio
Are mingled with the tansy's faded gold ;
Fleet hawks ore screaming In tho light blue
sky;
And fleet airs rushing cold.
The plump peach steals the dying rose's red ;
The yellow pippin ripens to It-s Cull ;
The dusty grapes, to purple fullness fed,
Droop from the garden wall.
And yet, where rainbow foliage crowns the
swamp,
I hear in dreams an April robin Bing,
And memory, amid this Autumn pomp,
Strays with the ghost of Bpriug.
A DINNER OF HERBS.
Between eight it id nine o'clock on a
fino September m rning, a young mar
ried couple stood, together at the win
dow of a charming little house, pleas
antly situated at Norwood.
The neatly-appointed breakfast equip
ago had not been as yet removed by the
spruce maid-servant, but the meal had
concluded, and the master of the little
cottage was about to take his departure
by train tor the scene or his daily labors.
Robert Denwillow was only a solicit
or's confidential clerk, on a salary of
rather loss than the much-abused three
hundred pounds per annum ; yet he
contrived to find life very tolerable on
the whole. He was a fine, honest-faced,
stalwart person, about thirty-two or
throe, who loved his friends, his old
mother and sisters, and adored his pret
ty, spoilt, wilful, loving wife a bright
eyed, petulant, chirping little woman,
ten years his junior.
The morning was splendid ; the room
was cheerful, the servant-maid brisk
and willing, and the eggs and rashers
had been unexceptional, the coffee clear,
the rolls crisp, and the butter, really but
ter. Yet for all that, as she stood amid
the flowers in her bay-window herself,
in her white dress and blue ribbons, tho
most attractive object there there was
a sullen pout on Selina Den willow's
pretty mouth that was not pleasant to
nee.
' Come, dear, I must go in two min
utes," said her husband. "I think I
shall be home early to-day. You prom
ised me a roust leg of pork, you know."
"And you promised me that gray
moire antique at Swan and Edgar's, re
torted the lady, sulkily.
" But, Liua, dear, I had no notion
moires were so expensive. Why, they
wanted twenty guineas lor it.
"WellV"
"Well! Why.it is the twelfth part
ot our whole year s income.
" But if it was to please me '("
" To please you I would make a good
many sacrifices, you know well, my dear
Jjina; but it i were to try to please you
at that rate, I should soon be in the
Bankruptcy Court."
Lina tossed her golden hand con
temptuously.
"Besides, what does my littlo wifo
want with such superb fabrics V" said
her husband, laughing. " No, no, Lina,
.Leave moires to duchesses. I like you
best in' your white muslin. There, I
must gol Give mo a kiss, and don't
forget tho pork. Bye-bye I You'll bo
better tempered when I come home,
poppit.
And whistling cheerily, away hurried
Robert Denwillow to catch the train to
London-bridge.
Like most of her sex, Lina could have
borne any opposition better than her
husband's imperturbablo good temper.
She was out of humor, and she knew it.
She wanted to quarrel, and she would
quarrel, and she couldn't, because it
takes two parties to a quarrel, and her
husband had not afforded her the slight
est excuse for giving way to her ill-hu
mor.
No sooner was he fairly out of sight
than the little woman rang the bell fu
riously.
"Ann!"
41 Yes, ma'am."
When the greengrocer calls, turnips
and potatoes.
" Yes, ma'am."
" And when the butcher calls, a lug of
mutton tor boiling.
And there was a malicious twinklo in
Mrs. Denwillow's eyes.
Ann opened her mouth wido with as
tomshment.
" Lor', ma'am, I thought master said
something about roast pork.
" Never mind what your master
said"
"But, ma'am," remonstrated Ann,
boldly, " master can't bear boiled mut
ton, and then I've got tho onions for tho
stumng."
"Put on your bonnet immediately,
Ann," returned her mistress, with stern
dignity, " and go to the Italian ware-
house, and order a bottle ot capers.
And with a look of dismay Ann van
ished.
" Oh. my ! ain't she a tartar !" mut
tered she. as she quitted.
Mrs. Denwillow watched her servant
closet the door, and then smiled trium-
phantly.
"There!" exolaimed she, in such
tone as Alexander the Great might have
adopted after a decisive victory; "there
1 think J. ve done it now.
, Five o'clock approached the Den wil
lows usual dinner-hour. The boiling
mutton began to give signs and tokens
ot its presence in the house, and una i
lavonte little dog smiled the savory
odor in the passages, and Blobbered ait
ticipatingly.
" Dear me ! I wish Robert would come,"
thought little Mrs. Denwillow. "The
mutton will be boiled to rags."
A quarter past five half-past but no
master of the house forthcoming. Lina
grew exceedingly angry.
-41 How dare he tease me like this '(" she
asked herself.
It must be known that there is noth
ing in all the world so trying as waiting
tor an expected person who does not
come; and the little woman had this
additional incentive to anger, that she
had intended to play her husband a
trick, and it seemed as if he were turn
ing tho tables on her. She thought of
sorving up dinner she was fond of boiled
mutton but then Bhe would lose her
anticipated laugh j and besides, her wife
ly instincts revolted from such a piece
of solfishness as that.
Six half-past nearly seven, and no
Robert Denwillow ! The.little woman's
anger had. all gone. She as now seri
ous alarmed. Thrice had she descended
to the kitchen, to confer with Ann, each
time1 less angrily find more anxiously,
and she was already thinking of paying
her servant another visit, when Ann
herself, with a hasty and unceremonious
knock, entered the parlor. The girl
looked flurried and alarmed.
" Oh, if you please, ma'am, you're not
to bo frightened, but Mr. Hodges, tho
station-master, has sent up to say as
there's a accident on the line '"
"Whatl" screamed Lino, pale as
death, and with an awful sinking of the
heart.
" A Crystal Palace train have run into
the tour-thirty, please, ma am, and sev
enteen persons are killed, and many
wounded. It's near New Cross, ma'am.
Them accidents is always near New
Cross."
" Oh I" sobbed poor Mrs. Denwillow,
"I've lost the best husband my poor
liobert ! And 1 so wicked to him. Oh 1
oh!"
" Law, no, if you please, ma'am, inas-
ter ain't killed. Here's a 'gram as Mr.
Hodges said I was to give you. It ought
to have come an hour and a halt ago, but
were delayed in the confusion. Them
grams always is delayed somehow, add
ed Ann, sohloquizingly.
Lina seized the paper, and tore it open,
It ran thus :
"Darling. Don't he alarmed. Frialttful
accident at Xeto ('rots. Am making mytelf
w. iff iu outi t a. i'jiuii itnu 1.141 riuinK. j un .
trait dumer. "
In the intense relief of her heart, Lina
sobbed convulsively, and made an in
ward vow never to be so petulant and
exacting in future. In a mood of mad
penitence, she sat upon tho sofa, form
ing hosts ot good resolutions, until the
sound of cab-wheels fell joyfully on her
ears.
In two minutes more Robert Denwil-
low was in the parlor, clasping tho pen
itent little woman in his arms.
" Oh, Bob, dear, I'm so sorry ! And
I've been so frightened ! I'll never be so
cross again I sobbed she. ,
Tho husband stroked her lair hair ten
derly, but did not reply. He judged it
better to let her tears have thoir course.
At last he said
" Well, dear, it's all right now, so let
us go to dinner."
(Jh, those poor people killed! 1
couldn't eat any dinner,"
"iNonsense, there were no people
killed ; only a score of broken arms und
legs."
" Why," exclaimed the little woman,
in surprise, "Ann told mo there wtre
seventeen persons killed."
Robert Denwillow laughed.
"Theso sort of things are always
grossly exaggerated," he said. " But
come, I want my dinner odd ! I don't
perceive the onions."
" Uh, Hob, dear I sighed his wile, col
oring to the roots ot her hair, " 1 I ni
so sorry, but there's nothing but b b
boiled mutton for dinner."
The good fellow winced for a moment,
but he comprehended in an instant how
matters stood, and said, gently
" Well, dearest, a certain grand old
Book says, ' Better is a dinner of herbs
where love is, than, "
Lina kissed him impetuously.
" You are an angel, Robert a good
man and I am a weak, silly, wicked
little thing !"
"Not wicked, pot 1"
" Oh, Robert," she said, earnestly, as
she hung round his neck, "bear with
me, and forgive me !"
'forgive you, my darling! said her
husband, returning her caress. " Have
we not all need of forbearance and for
giveness '("
" Dinner s
ready, please, sir," cried
Ann, entering, with a .covert smile on
her face.
"Well. Ann," returned her master,
good-hunioredly, and as if boiled mut
ton were his favorite dish, " I am hun
gry enough to do credit to your cooking."
Little Mrs. Denwillow, with a feeling
of intense shame, took her seat at the
head of the table. Ann removed the
covers. The boiled mutton, sadly over
done, was there, it is true ; but opposite
her master Ann had placed a splendid
rump-steak pic, which she had covered
over, to produce tho greater ellect when
disclosed.
Lina cast a grateful elanco at her ser
vant, whilst Robert Denwillow said
" This is famous ! But how is it, Ann r
I thought boiled mutton
Well, sir, said Ann, with a gratified
smile, and a sly glance at her mistress,
" I thought, as master don't like mut
ton, and the butcher's boy had a fine
steak on his tray, I'd make a pie on my
own sponsibinty.
" You have done quite rightly, Ann,"
said her mistress, "and show good sense."
Surely a merrier "dinner of herbs'"
nover was than that, seasoned as it was
by a renewal of love and confidence be
tween the married couple. Mrs. Den
willow often spoke of it afterwards as
the commencement of a long and happy
lite.
The Great American Desert.
Tho Chicago Tribune has an interest
ing article on the new West, from which
we quote as follows :
It may seem to be a rather absurd as
sertion that a disoovery has recently
been made in valuable lands on the
North American Continent, within easy
access of the most densely populated
portion of the country, of more worth
than all the gold and silver mines that
have been prospected for the last twenty
years. Of land, it was thought we-had
enough, and that we knew just where it
was ; but, in our calculation, we counted
in that immense region still laid down
in the school books as The Great Ameri-
Descrt, and counted it as a barron
and wasteless waste. The discovery is
that there is no such place as The Great
American Desert, or rather that the
place laid down as such, extending from
Western Kansas to the foot of the Rocky
Mountains a belt of country not less
than two hundred miles in width, and
pierced by the Kansas Paciflo Railway a
length of four hundred miles is not a
dcBert at all, but a region covered with
a native growth of grass of the most nu
tritious quality, and peculiarly calcula
ted by climate and position as the natU'
ral range for stock-grazing and raising
Ironi which tho present and luture mil
lions of people of tho United States are
to be supplied with beet and mutton,
with hides, and wool, and horses.
Undoubtedly much of this region will
eventually be opened to agriculture, but
before that time comes the problem of
irrigation must be solved by sinking nu-
melons artesian wells, bringing hidden
Btreams to the surface, and turning the
waters of the rivers from their natural
channels to percolate in canals and riv
ulets over the arid soil of the plains,
That time, however, is far distant, if it
ever comes, for the many hundreds of
miles ot high and rolling prairie which
makes tho divides between tho rivers.
The problem, indeed, is solved already
for those sections of country bordering
the rivers where irrigation has revealed
the fact that the soil only needs suffi
eiency of water to render it the most
fertile and the most certainly produc
tive of crops of any land upon the con
tinent. But when all this land shall bo
redeemed, and an agricultural popular
tion shall have covered all the region so
easily rendered fertile by irrigation,
there will still remain an immense
stretch of country, hundreds of miles in
extent, high, dry, and salubrious, and
rich in its own peculiar way, on which
the agriculturist will not encroach, but
where the herdsman will gather tens of
thousands of cattle and of sheep.for whose
sustenance nature has made the amplest
provision, and which may be multiplied
in numbers sufficient almost to feed the
world. It only needs that man shall
provide for water by wells and reser
voirs, or keeping near enough to tho
living streams, and nature has done the
rest,
" All flesh is grass " in another sense
than tho Scriptural, and the plains are
supplied with a natural herbago for
stock, which needs no other moisture
during the long dry season than that
which tell Iroin the clouds in the early
spring and started it in its growth. It
matures its short blade and seeds and is
cured into hay upon the ground in tho
steady summer heat, and so preserves its
sweetness and nutrition all winter long
that animals feeding upon it are fatter
in the spring than in the tall. Domes
tic cattle will leave any other food for
this, and in the long range from north
to south, herds may be driven the year
round from ranch to ranch, and never
fail of finding an inexhaustible supply.
But. by caretul selection of localities,
even this may be avoided, and the range
confined within a few miles. Ou these
fields millions of buffalo and antelope
have roamed and fatten.! from time
immemorial, and that alone is evidence
enough of the peculiar fitness of this
region tor the raising ot domestio ani
mals, even had the experiment not been
successfully tested by putting upon
them herds of Texan cattle, which thrive
and fatten and improve there better
than on the different grass of the more
southern plains. To sum up, then this
wide extent of country, which, till re
cently, has been held to be a desert ut
terly unfat tor any human use, is, in
reality, in its high and rolling surface,
the salubrity of its climate, the food
with which it is covered all tho year
A SUNKEN LAKE.
AN OLD MISER'S SUICIDE.
One of tho NnlnrnI Wonders of tho Tliondcr
Bny Keg-Ion.
We extract the following from Prof.
N. H. Winchell's recent report on the
Thunder Bay region :
Sunken Lake, in bee. 6i, T. J J, IN. 11.
6 E, is a remarkable example of the
effect of subterranean erosion. I have
before described the lake in full. Suffice
it to say that the North Branch of
Thunder Bay River disappears entirely
in time of low water beneath a ledge of
Hamilton limestone. But in time of
high water, the mouth of the subter
ranean channel will not admit the raised
volume of water, and after filling the
basin of a little lake, which is nearly a
mile in length, it passes overland through
the channel represented as its bed on the
maps. During half the year, however,
this channel is one day south of the
lake.
During a recent trip up tho Lako
Huron shore, north of Thunder Bay, it
was one of my objects to examine tho
reported outlet of this river into Lake
Huron. On the south side, and near
the head of the deep, crooked bayou,
tributary to Little Thunder Bay on the
north, is a remarkably deep hole in the
otherwise shallow bed of the bay. The
entrance of this long arm of Little
Thunder Bay is disguised by a long,
low island which hangs across it. Any
one in coasting would be apt to miss it,
as I did at first, unless he followed care
fully tho same indentures of the coast.
Having entered the bayou, 1 directed
my man to follow the right bank, or
north side, and to return on the south
shore. Having entered the bay, we be
gan to coast outward along the south
6hore. We had left the head of tho
bayou, perhaps 150 rods, when there was
a sudden increase in the depth ot tho
water. Tho weeds which had covered
the bottom entirely disappeared within
a space no more than the length of the
boat, and the water was as black as at
any place in the open lake. The motion
the boat had attained carried us over the
chasm, and my pocket thoromomoter
told us tho temperature ot the water
was 07 deg. Fahrenheit. As that was
the same as the temperature of the shoal
water of tho bayou, observed a few min
utes belore, 1 was disappointed, tor I
had expected to detect the presence of
river water, it it were the outlet ot
Sunken Lake, by the difference of tern
pcraturo between tho lake water and
that of the water rising from the open
ing. Pushing tho boat astern, we fol
lowed tho rim of the basin round toward
the right, and found tho descent very
abrupt in all places. Tho shoal water
was filled with weeds, which are common
inland lakes and slow and flowing
A Western editor, from whose mind
neither the war in Europe nor the fear
ful atrocities that daily occur here and
elsewhere have erased the idea of the
coming Chinaman, predicts a dreadful
fate for the single women of Massachu
setts. He is sure that State will be
overrun by the pig-tailed gentry, and
that the forty-five thousand spinsters
there residing will " first endure, then
pity, then embrace the pagans. In
other words, the Chinamen will marry
the Puritan girls, and a race of beings
of the most singular character will be
propagated. 1 -T -
By a provision of the Maryland con
stitution, no "minister or preacher of
the Gospel" is eligible aa l senator or
delegate in the Legislature.
streams, and they were seen to cover the
brink and follow down the steep side as
tar as tho eye could distinguish. When
the boat reached the east side of the
opening, the weeds were seen to rapidly
diminish, and they soon entirely disap
peared. The brink here was very steep,
almost perpendicular, and consisted of
sand, with considerable number of frac
tured shells. Our boat stopped upon
tho brink at this place, and upon pro
ceeding to make another observation on
tho temperature of the water, what was
our surprise to find that we were slowly
drifting away from the opening. It
was further observed that we were
motion against the breeze, which was
passing up the bayou. I was again sur
prised to find that the temperature of
the water was bo deg. Fahrenheit. Ibis
observation was made perhaps ten feet
to the east of the opening, and as we
were drifting, allowing the boat to con
tinue in motion, the temperature at
thirty feet from the opening was 63 de:
Fahrenheit. The depth of the water at
the place ot these last observations was
not more than eighteen or twenty inches,
and the bottom wag one of clean sand
with frequent shells common on the lake
beach near the mouth of rivers, but no
weeds. Returning to the opening and
following the line of shoal water in the
same direction, we found that tho weeds
soon became as abundant as on tho
other side of the current. The current
ceased soon after we passod the most
eastward or lakeward side.
The opening is six or eight rods across,
and nearly circular, and is nearest the
south Bide of the bayou, about twelve
rods Irom the shore,
Mnkln Preparation for the Fatnl Deed
The Secret of John Armstrong's Sealed
Abode-Tfae Suicide' Will.
Matteawav. N. Y.. Oct. 18. Fortv
years ago John Armstrong, of England,
was brought to this country by the Matte
awan Manufacturing Company to super
intend their works. He was and always
has been a bachelor, the love of his early
days having been separated from him
through a misunderstanding. When he
reached this place he acted as a draughts
man and bookkeeper for the Company,
always attending to his duties faithfully
and commanding esteem from his em
ployers. He was possessed of rare in
tellect, and was a great admirer of ma
chinery and philosophical works. His
habits were of a very eccentric character.
For twenty years he ignored mends, be
lieving only in one man, Mr. John Roth
ery, proprietor of the file works here.
His friendship for him was of that kind
which binds one man to another in ad
versity and misfortune.
A tew weeks ago he had a conversation
with Mr. Rothery, during which he
said that
nE WAS TIRED OF LIFE,
and sometimes thought that when next
his friend called he would not be found
alive. Then it was concluded that he
was laboring under temporary aberra
tion of mind.
Monday morning, at 8 o'clock, Mr.
Rothery called to see him at his rooms
over Mr. Davis's store. His apartments
consisted of two rooms, which it is alleg
ed no one but the deceased and Mr. Roth
ery had entered for twenty years. When
Mr. Rothery entered them on Monday
he found deceased in bed, and after a
few moments' talk left him to attend to
some business. At 9 o'clock A. it. per
sons in the vicinity heard the report of
a pistol, but paid little attention to it, as
tho boys in the neighborhood are in the
habit of tiring oft pistols. At 1 P. M,
Mr. Rothery again visited his friend,
when
A nORRIBLE SIGIIT MET TUB VIEW.
Mr. Armstrong lay dead in the room
below his sleeping room on a bundle of
shavings, which had been placed upon
two benches. One side of his face was
blown entirely away, and a portion of
his skull and teeth were lying several
feet from the body. The floor, shavings
and benches were saturated with blood,
and the wall and ceiling besmeared with
blood and brains. Near the body lay a
single-barreled pistol, which had been
discharged, and which, in a dumb way,
told the terrible story. The thumb and
forefinger of the left hand were lacerated.
The bullet was picked up on the floor at
the foot of tho couch. Judging from the
situation of things generally, the de
ceased man must have sat upright on the
benches and placed the muzzle of the
pistol in his mouth,
BLOWINO HIS HEAD PARTIALLY OFF.
The following note was found pinned
to the coat sleeve on his left arm :
" This is my own doing. I ought to have
done it before. Send my body to Dr. J. W.
Draper, New York, for dissection. John Roth
ery, tile maker, Matteawan, is my executor, and
hag my will lu bis sale.
"JOUS W . AIIMSTROSO."
Underneath the above, which was
written with ink, was the following
written with a lead pencil, and apparent
ly with a trembling hand :
" Give him the little paper parcel on the
table."
Tho parcel referred to lay upon a com
mon table in the room. Upon opening
it the keys to the suicide's rooms were
found and a private note to Mr. Roth
ery. This note gave directions in rela
tion to some unsettled bills and restated
that Mr. Rothery was his executor, and
would know what to do in the premises.
It also showed that the suicide hud been
around the day previous paying up small
bills. Before the will was opened it was
rumored that the dead man had
A SENSIBLE CORPSE.
LEFT BEHIND A LARGE 8UM OF MONEY,
many rating it at $40,000. It is not yet
positively known how much he did leave,
There are strange stones concerning his
rooms. It is known that a large bag oi
silver has been found therein, and it is
also known that, secreted in his rooms,
are several closely packed and strongly
locked boxes. As yet Mr. Rothery has
not examined them, wishing to be sure
of his full power to do so. The will,
however, has been opened, and it is a
curious one. It bequeaths to John Roth-
To
As one passes over
the brink and loses sight of the weeds as
round, and in the very difficulty of do- they descend so quickly down the sub- ery all Mr. Armstrong's tools and tna-
votin it for want of rain to agriculture, aqueous brink, a reeling ot terror comes chinery, valued at Irom $ l.uuu to $o,uuu,
peculiarly adapted to the raising of do- over the beholder, as it he was about to and also all the personal property,
- - ... .. i I t n .iii n., t .1 . . . , I . i . . i an n n 1 1 1 n ll ,1 1, tn
Fishermen report that a lead has been
lowered 300 feet into its opening without
a bottom. 1 suppose the temperature ot
the water over tho opening is higher
than that of the current just east, be
cause of the influx of the heated bayou
water, and that the real river water is
found just over the sandy part of the
brink, and a little farther east. It was
not until I left tho place that I remem
bered that the temperature of the J. min
der Bay River at Alpena, at two diuYr
ent observations, was 55 deg. Fahren
heit. In winter this is always free from
ice, and ducks frequent the place. I
have do doubt but this is the real outlet
of the north branch of Thunder Bay
River, which disappears in the bed of
Sunken Lake,
mcstic animals, and to become the great
source of supply of animal food for the
people of the whole country. To stock
it, we 11UVO Lilts UULUO Ul i L Alia nuu ...
Mexico, which only need to be crossed
with our own breeds to secure the best
qualities of both.
Through the centre ot this region,
hitherto supposed a desert, runs for four
hundred and htty miles the .Kansas Pa
ciflo Railway, and it is the opening of
that road that will render the raising of
cattle in Western Kansas and Colorado
so profitable and important to Eastern
markets. The Business oi that road on
its eastern sections shows how immense
the trade in Cattle is, and how depend
ent the whole country is upon this sup
ply from the w est and Southwest.
From May 1 to October 1 of the pres
ent year, the number of head of cattle
brought eastward over the Kansas Pa
ciflo Road was 75,G08, and in September
alone the number was 19,808. The in
crease is very rapid, being about 50,000
head more than the figures show for the
corresponding months last year, and the
demand seems limited only by the ca
pacity of a new road. As that capacity
increases, the demand increases, as
shown in the September figures ; and as
the country will want all the cattle that
can be raised upon the plains raised at
little cost and at enormous profit to the
road which runs through these plains
will be able to bring them to market.
Upon the probable growth of this new
branch of commerce it would be useless
William Rothery it leaves
A VALUABLE MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY,
valued at 3,000. To Mrs. Burnett, with
whom he once boarded, he leaves (300
for kindness, and $30 in gold for a bottle
of wine, given him by her ten years
ago. He never entered a church in lorty
years, but believed firmly in a God. He
made his will six months ago. At times
ha was subject to a terrible nervous
headache. His funeral took place to
day, and the remains were followed to
the Methodist burial ground by a num
ber of citizens. He was seventy-three
years of age.
A Reminiscence ol the Back Settlement.
Now that corpse (said-the undertaker,
patting the folded hands of deceased ap
provingly) was a brick every way you
took mm ne was a urics.. xxo su
real accommodating, and so modest-like
and simple in his last moments, r riends
wanted metallic burial case nothing
else would do. I couldn't get it. There
warn't going to be time anybody could
seo that. Corpse said never mind, shake
him up - some kind of a box he could
stretch out in eomfortably, he warn't
particular 'bout the general style of it.
Said he went more on room than style,
anyway, in a last final container. Friends
wanted a silver door-plate on the coffin,
signifying who he was and wher' he was
from. Now you know a fellow couldn't
roust out such a gaily thing as that in a
little country town like this. What did
corpse say ? Corpse said, whitewash his
old canoe and dob his address and gen
eral destination onto it with a blacking
brush and a stencil plate, long with a
verse from some likely hymn or other,
and p'int him for tho tomb, and mark
him C.O.D., and just let him skip along.
lie warn't distressed any mote than you
be on the contrary just as carm and
collected as a hearse-horse : said he
judged that -wher' he was going to, a
body would find it considerable better
to attract attention by a picturesque
moral character than a natty burial case
with a swell door-plate on it. Splendid
man, he was. I'd druther do for a corpse
like that 'n any I've tackled in seven
year. There's some satisfaction in bury
in' a man like that. You feel that what
you're, doing is appreciated. Lord bless
you, so's he got planted before he sp'iled,
he was perfectly satisfied ; said his rela
tions meant well, perfectly well, but all
them preparations was bound to delay
the thing more or less, and ho didn't
wish to be kept layin' round. You
never see such a clear head as what he
had and so carm and so cool. Just a
hank of brains that is what Tie was.
Perfectly awful. It was a ripping dis
tance from one end of that man's head
to t'other. Often and over again he's
had brain fever a-raging in one place,
and the rest of the pile didn't know any
thing about it didn't affect it any more
than Injun insurrection in Arizona at
fects the Atlantio States. Well, the re
lations they wanted a big funeral, but
corpse said ho was down on flummery
didn't want any procession fill the
hearse full of mourners and get out a
stern line and tow him behind. He was
the most down on style of any remains
I ever struck. A beautiful, simple-minded
creature it was whathe was, you can
depend upon that. He was just set on
having things the way he wanted them,
and he took a solid comfort in laying his
little plans. He had me measure him
and take a whole raft of directions ; then
he had the minister stand up behind a
long box with a table-cloth over it and
read his funeral sermon, saying " Ang
core, angcore ! " at the good places, and
making him scratch out every bit of
brag about him, and all the hifalutin ;
and then he made them trot out the
tunes for the occasion, and he got them
to sing " Pop Goes the Weasel, because
he'd always liked that tune when he
was down-hearted, and solemn music
made him sad ; and when they sung that
with tears in their eyes (because they all
loved him,) and his relations grieving
around, he just laid there as happy as a
bug, and trying to beat time and show
ing all over how much he enjoyed it ;
and presently be got worked up and ex
cited, and tried to join in, for mind you
he was pretty proud of his abilities in
, 1 ' z i i 1 1 r. . 1
me singing iiue ; out mo uin uuw lie
opened his mouth and was just going to
spread himself, his breath took a walk.
never see a man snutted out so sudden.
Ah, it was a great loss it was a power-
ul loss to this poor little one-horse
town. Well, well, well, I hain t got
time to be palavering along here got to
nail on the lid and mosey along with
him, and if you'll just give me a lift
well skeet him into the hearse and
meander along. Relations bound to
have it so don't pay no attention to
dying injunctions, minute a corpse gone;
but if I had my way, if I didn't respect
his last wishes and tow him behind the
hearse, I'll be cuss'd. I consider that
whatever a corpse wants done for his
comfort is a little enough matter, and a
man hain't got no right to deceive him
or take advantage of him and whatever
a corpse trusts to me to do 1 m a-going
to do, you know, even if it's to stuff him
and paint him yaller and keep him for a
keepsake you hear me ! "
lie cracked his whip and went lumber
ing away with his ancient ruin ot a
hearse, and I continued my walk with
a valuable lesson learned that a healthy
and wholesome cheerfulness is not neces
sarily impossible to any occupation. The
lesson is likely to be lasting, tor it will
take many months to obliterate the
memory of the remarks and circumstan
ces that impressed it. " Mark Twain,"
tn November Ualazy.
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
to speculate, for, based upon an actual him."
necessary oi wu lor me pruuuuuuu ui
which a new region is discovered witn
facilities hitherto unknown, all specula
tion upon its importance and its growth
would probably be at fault.
An Arkansas "Local," becoming in
censed at some remarks of a brother
quill-driver in the same town concerning
his nersonal annearence. launohea the
following tubfui of Arkansian editorial
lightning at his confrere head: "The
volcanio, pimple-headed, blister-brained,
owl-faced, spike-nosed, weasel-faced,
web-footed, pig-legged, lilliputian, fog
gy pettifogger of the Bugle Horn of
Liberty does not like our personal ap
pearance. Until this toul-mouthed,
brazen debaser has been run through a
seive, a filter, scoured, scrubbed, swabbed,
sponged, and disinfected, until he is a fit
object to enter decent society, we will
ioroear naving anything to say about
Detroit has just named one of its
streets "Napoleon," to the great disgust
of the residents upon it, two-thirds of
whom are Uormans.
AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE. Old Judge
B., of New Hampshire, was what Arte-
mus ward would have called a " sociable
cuss " off the bench, and was noted for
claiming acquaintance with any one
whose appearance happened to please
him. Entering a crowded car on the
Boston and Maine Road one day. his
honor found the only unoccupied seat to
be by the side of a smartly-dressed and
rather good-looking young woman. As
certaining that the seat was not engag
ed, the Judge Bottled himself comfort
ably in it, ana turning with his accus
tomed bland, tatheily smile to his lair
companion, said :
" Your lace seems familiar to me, my
dear ; 1 think 1 must know you."
" I should think you might," said the
unknown, in a hoarse, whisky, contralto
voice, turning a vindictive pair of eyes
on the astonished judge. "I should
think you might ; you sent me to the
House of Correction for three months
last winter, you infernal old scoundrel,
The Judge did not press his claim for
acquaintance any further in that quarter,
The population of Washington City is .
109,338.
Omaha is putting in the fire alarm
telegraph.'
General Sheridan is expected home in
December.
More trouble in the Red River country ,
is reported.
The new Ohio State Capitol will cost
$1,500,000.
The valuation of the city of Boston is ir
$104,000,000. . ,
The new State Capitol of Iowa will
cost $1,500,000.
The Chicago census shows a popula-
tion of 207,338. , . ,
They keep "Knew Syder Fur Sail" at .
a Texas grocery.
Texas has over seventy million acres
of unoccupied land. ,
In Taunton, Mass., street swearers are
promptly arrested. ' 1
Femalo street-corner loungers are com-, r
plained of in Troy.
Prairia chickens are more plentiful
than usual out West. '
There are 100 young ladies at the El--!
mira Female College. -
The exports of hops during the last .
year were 16,350,631 lbs. . r
Sioux City has a "Woman's Rights
Hotel," kept by a lady. t i
Kentucky's sweet potato crop this year .
is the largest ever raised. r
The State debt of California is two and
a-half millions of dollars.
A Chinese newspaper has been estab-
lished at Helena, Montana.
During August, 312,071 letters were
received at the dead letter office.
One Boston firm has put up over 1,500,- '
J00 gallons of pickles this year.
A Wisconsin judge lately fined himself
one dollar for tardiness at court.
California is the only State that re
ports an increased average in hops.
The manufacture of spurious century
plants is a branch of Chicago industry.
The resignation of Secretary Cox has
finaly been accepted. Delano is named
as his probable successor.
There was a doll baby's wedding at ,
Edgefield, Tenn., the other day. Several
hundred little girls were present.
Small bills aro so Bcarco in some parts '
of Iowa that merchants are using scrip
of their own for ono and two dollars.
The Democrats in Kansas have nom
inated a woman for the office of Superin
tendent of Public Instruction.
A Santa Fe editor, in giving an ac- '
count of his fight with Gen. Heath, says, l
" Having nothing to defend myself with,
wo made the best possible time and our
friends say it was good to our office."
There is a colored man in the Michigan
Penitentiary who has been there for ten
years lor murder, and he now insists
that Lincoln's proclamation set him free,
and he asks tho authorities to let him go.
Miss Nora Perry and Miss Lillie Chase
have been chosen assistant editor of a
daily paper to be issued during the con
tinuance of the woman suffrage fair in
Boston.
In East Tennessee, the other day, an '
old lady waved a red flag till a train
stopped, and then asked the conductor
if her daughter bally was aboard. The
language used by that conductor in re
ply is described as terrible. i
The Washington Star says that Gen
eral Beauregard, who is reported by ca
ble to bo in France, " was in Lynchburgh, '
Virginia, no longer ago than last week
He is not in the lead and saltpetre line
at present, but on the other hand, is
about to marry a lady of Richmond."
An insurrection of negroes has broken,
out in the French colony of Martinique,
in the West Indies, consequent upon
the proclamation, by the Governor, of
the establishment of the republic in
France. The insurgents have proclaimed
a republio of Martinique, similar to that
of Hayti. . i.
Hamden, Conn., with a population of
3,000, has had not less than 2,000 per
sons sick with the malarial fever, in one
form or another, since the 1st of July
I t .1 -I 1. L 1 mm
last, or since tue urougui oegan. me
A few nights since a Mrs. Curtis, of
Strattord, Conn., a woman over 80 years
old and who has been, for the last five
years, so infirm as to be unable to go
about the house, arose from her bed in a
Bomnambulistio fit, dressed herself in an
old suit, and proceeded to the river, a
i . i i i
quarter oi a miio away, wiiere sue pro
ceeded to infelge in a bath. The cold
ness of the water soon awoke her, and,
verv much surprised at her singular sit
uation, she hastened home and quietly
retired. 4
A woman went to a circus iu Terre
Haute, Ind., accompanied by eleven
children, and when a neighbor asked
her where the old man was, she said he
was at home taking care of the children,
Another neighbor called at the house,
and seeing the old man trying to amuse
nine young ones, aBked where the old
lady was. He taid he had let her go to
the circus with the children.
The telescope used bv Washington at
the battle of Gerinantown, Pa., is in the
possession of the academy in that town.
and urns good state of preservation.
ipidemic was caused by decaying vege
table matter exposed to the action of
the sun by the subsidence of the pond
in mat vicinity.
The losses in Yirgina from the recent
floods, directly and indirectly, are calcu
lated at $5,000,000. A serious feature
of the disaster is that the price of coal
will be materially increased by the in
terruption or railway communication.
The greater portion of the loss will fall
upon small farmers and the poor popu
lation generally occupying the river re
gions overflowed.
One of the novelties of the season is a
ladies " business suit." It is simply and
plainly made of cloth with galloon
bindings, and intended to be sensible and
serviceable as the outdoor dress of a man.
The number of women now engaged up- '
uu uw press auu iu uiuer active OCCUpa- .-
tions, in the larger cities, renders a neat,
durable, unpretending, yet lady-like cos-.
tume, most desirable.
A new form of envelope has recentlv
become quite popular in Germany, and
possesses tue convenience 01 enabling one
to open a letter wnen completely sealed
up, without the ordinary difficulty of
finding an entrance. The arrangement
consists in introducing a thread, which
projects from one of the corners, by pull-
iuj unn wo iuwci eugo ui tne envelope
is cut through without injury to the en
closure, the address, or the stamp.
Boston has an institution known m
" The Flower Mission," which hag this
season distributed among the poor and
sick eleven thousand bouquets and pond
lilies. Such a tender recognition of the
tenants of sick rooms and the lonely and
destitute is no less beautiful than it has
been beneficial. The Mission proper hat
suspended its work for the winter, but ,
others have taken it up, and fruits aud
flowers will be distributed daily where
they will be sure to give joy and bow-
fort. . .. y
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