Juniata sentinel. (Mifflintown, Pa.) 1846-1873, November 06, 1872, Image 1
lite Juniata f$ta.itut. geBfag; ... t - r RATES OP ABYEBTI8IN8J- - All advertising for less than three aoatna for one square of nine lines or less,. will be charged one insertion, 75 cents, three f 1.60, and 50 cents for each subsequent insertion.. Administrator's. Executor's and Auditor's ' " r i E-jLlGLlSllKD JX 1&4G. A EVEIIT WsPXESDAT MoBXIXO, p , ;.?treet, opposite. he OJd Fellow.' Hall, I Notices, $2.00. Professional stad Business Cards, not exceeding one square, and inclu ding copy of paper, $S,0Operyear. JJotie.S in reading columns, ten ceals per line. Mer chants advertising by tbe year at special rates. VlFrll-'lu ' Tm Jmiat. t SESTisri. is published every ..Jaeriar "lorning 111 5'.50.,er,iB ad. S Oi) in all cases if not paid 3 "ontAt- 6 month. . T. year. One square S 3.50 $ 5.00 . - $ 8.00 Two squares 5.C0 $.00 U.00 Three squares.... .M) H.&) 15,00 One-foarth col h. 10.UO 17.00 25,00 Half column 18,00 . 25.00 45,00 One column 30,00 45.00 80.00 F. St'HWEIEK, . . Ko subscriptions dis- THI COHSTITtlTlOa TBI DKIOB AMD TH MrOBOIHEXr Of THI LAWS. EDITOR AD PROPKIETOU. 'TL.J until all arrearages re paid, unleas ,t opiion of l!.e P"lj,''' VOLDHK XXVI, NO. MIFFLliNTO WN, JUNIATA COUNT!, PENN'A., NOVEMEEK 6. 1871. WHOLE NUMBER 133D. ! 1 ! (Garbs. ATKINSON. T OH3 Attorney at I MIFFLINTOWN, PA. ' jC'clinS Conveyancing promptly t;le.Jed oSm on CriJe street, oppoit the Court OBEirTiMr.KN. xttoikey AT LAW, JJIFFMXTOWS, PA. OScon Pridge street, iu tlie room formerly tl Lt lira l. Pari r. Ksq. s. B. LOUPES. JilFFLINTOWN, PA., fliers hit sertiees te the oititens of Juni us county as Auc.ioneer and Vendue Crier. Cii'JM. from l '. tea dollars. Satiafac M..' warrant.. o3. 'M QYES ! 0 YES ! H. H. SXYDER, Perrysville, Pa, Tenders his services to the citiiejis of Juni ait nl a 'joining counties, as Auctioneer. Charges molerate For satisfaction give the VMkiun a ciiauce. P. 0. address. Port . Htfil. Juniata Co , Pa. 1 Feb 7. -it-j i)lt. 1 C. RILXDIO, BBS GIST rATTEUSON. PENN'A, AHgu't n, is;:-ir. TIIUJIAS A. ELDER, M- D., U1FFLIXT0WS, PA. 01, , honrs S A M li J P. M. Office in Kelfiird's building, two doors above the Sen tinel rflire, Bridge street. aug 18-tf TJ B GAKVElt. Mmtvt Pliysiciai ani Snrsicn, Having located in the borough of Tbompsou lawa, .Ters hi. profes-eonai services to tbe eitiiess f ibat place and vicinity. Owes la tbe room recently occupied by r. Sarg. f Jrme 12, '72-tf B. VS. &!3.tb m. & BOM.EOPATIUC PHYSICIAN t SURGEON ' flavin; permanently located in tbe btrough f Mifflintown, ofT.rs his profeasioual service" I. be citiieas f ibis pi nee and surrounding eau.try. OCics .a alaia street, ever BeiJler's Drug gl.ra. aug 18 l?C9-tf Dr. R. A. Simpson Treats ll fat-ma C tlaaae, al "J r salt.d as follow.: At his office in Liverpool Pa , every SATURDAY and MONDAY ap paiataieBU can be n.ade for other days. MgrCall ea or address DR. It. A. SIMPSON. a.T Liverpool, Perry Co., Pa. ATTENTION ! D T1I WATTS mo.t rcpe-t fully announ ces t. the publie ibal he is prepared to faraiab SCHOOL BOOKS AND STATIONERY at rfn-ei prices. Hereafter give him a call at his 0L1 STAND, MAIN St., MIFFLIN. Oot 2.-tf Sew PfilEg gtEG IX PERRYSVILLE. DR. J. J. APPLEDAUGH has established a Drug and Prescription Store in the as.ve-aaaed place, and keeps a general as rtaa.Dt of DRUGS AXD MEDICINES, Also all ether articles usually kept ia estab- U.haients ef this kind. Pure Wise in Liquors for medicinal pur , Cigars, Tobacco, Stationery. Coufec M.as (first-class). IVolion., etc.. e'e. Stf-The Doctor gives advice free WALL PAPER. Bally to the Place where you can bny your Wall Paper Cheap. rpHB andersigned takes ibis method of in X forming the public that he has just re ceived at his residence on Third Street, Mif 1 iaiewn, a large assortment of ... YVALL PAPER, ef various styles, which he offers for sale CHEAPER than can be purchased elsewhere ia tbe county. All persons in need of the . afeete article, and wishing io save money, are iavited to call and examine his stock and hear his prices before going elsewhere. KRLarce supply constantly on hand. 6 SIMON BASOU. Uiffliotewa, April 5, 1872-tf LOOJailiUKCJ STATU NORMAL SCHOOL AND Literary and Commercial Institute. The Faculty ef this Iitstitutirn aim to be very thorough in their instruction, and to l.ek carefully after the manners, health and arals of the students. teg- Apply for catalogues to HENRY CARVER. A. M., ept 28, 1871-0m . Principal. BEST CIGARS IN TOWN AT Elollobatig-h's Saloon. Two far 5 cents. Also, the Fre'best Lager, the Largest Oysters, the Sweetest Cider, the Finest Domestic Wines, and, in short, any thing you may wish in tbe EATING OR DRINKING LINE, at the most reasonable prices. lie has also refitted his BILLIARD HALL, se that it will now compare favorably with any Hall in the interior of the State. June 1, 1870-ly COAL, Lumber, Fish, Salt, and all kinds of Merchandise for sale. Chestnut Oak Bark, Railroad Ties, all kinds of Grain and Seeds bought at the highest market prices in cash or exchanged for merchandise, coal, lumber. &c. to suit customers. I am pre pared to furnish to builders bills of lumber just as wanted and on short notice, of either eak or yellow pine lumber. NOAH I1ERTZLER. Jaa4 Port Royal, Juniata Co., Pa. SHELLY & STAMBAUGH always keep np their Mock of GROCERIES and will not he excelled eiiber in the quality or prica of their goods in this line, Give them a sail before going elsewhere. gusinrss 0 WHOLESALE. Ab D. P. PAISTE, . . SUCCESSOR TO . JOHN S. GRAYBILL & CO., CEYSTAL PALACE BUILDING. J Having; puiclinsed the. entire mammoth tock nd fixtures of John S. jGrajLill k Co., I wt tild rcspfctfully infirm the public that I Lave on bftnd at all limes a FULL ASSORTMENT OF Hardware, Paints, Oils, Varnishes, -Leather, And all Kinds of Goods kept in a First-Class Hardware Store. Hay Cutters, Cider Mills, Meat Cotters and Staffers for Sale. Having had a full rxperinnce in the Wholesale and Mannfactuiing Hardware Linsinefa, I can afford to aell the same quality of Goods as cheap as any store in city or country. Merchants are especially invited to buy, as they can save freight, and at the shiuo tirnn buy at I'liiUnVltihia prices. All persons are iuvited to inspect the slock throughout the bouse. A a A H H COME OXE! COME Sept. IS, lS72-1y GREAT REDUCTION IM THK or TEETH Full Upper or Lower Sets as Low as $5.00. No teeth allowed toleaVa the office uuless ihe pttient ia stiued. Teeth remodeled anil repaired. Teeth 611ed to last for life. Toothache stopped in five minutes witheitt extracting the tooth. Deulal work done tor persons wiinout mem leaving their homes, if desired. Ltcciricily used in . be eti action or leeih, rendeiing it almost a painless operation, (no extra charge) at tbe Denial Oflicc of G. L. Derr. established iu Mitnintown in INti t. C. L. UK. Kit, Jen 24, 1872-1 t Practical Dsniist. C. ItOTIIItOCIC, J) t:x TJS T, "fr Ali.t-r-villo, Pennn OFFERS h'n profeeional services to tha public in geueral, in both branches of his profession operative and mechanical. First week of every month at Kich field, Fre mont and Turkey Valley. Second week Liverpool and Wild Cat Val ley. Third week Millerstown and Raccoon Valley. Fourth week at his office in M'Alislerville. Will visit Mifflin when called on. Teeth put up on any of the bases, and as liberal as anywhere elae. Address bv letter or otherwise. JUNIATA VALLEY BANK or M IFFLI XTO VX, PEX X ' A . JOSEPH i'OMKllOY, Preiideut. T. VAN 1KVIN, Cashiei. D1HECTOBS. Joseph Pomeroy, iJohn J. Patterson, Jerome N. Thompson, I George Jacobs, John Balsbach. Loan money, receive Jeposils. pay interest on time deDotits, bur and sell coin and Uni ted States Bond., cash coupons and checks. Iteini: money to any part of tbe United Mates and also to England, Scotland, Ireland and Germany. Sell Revenue stamps. In sums of $'.'00 at 2 per cent, discount. In sums of $.100 at 2$ per cent, discount. In sums of $1000 at 3 per cent, discount. The Place for Good Grape-vines 18 AT THE Juniata Ualltj Dintnarbs, A'D (JRAPE-V1XE NURSERY. rrMtE undersigned would respectfully in X form tbe public thai he has started a Grape-vine Nursery about one mile northeast of Mifflintown, where he has been testing a large number of the different varietiee of Grapes; and having been in the business for seven years, he is now prepared to furnish . VINES OF ALL THE LEADING VARIETIES, AND OF THE MOST PROMISING KINDS, AT tOW It A T E S , by the single vine, doten, hundred or thou sand. All persons wishing good and thriftv vines will do well te call and see for them selves. $sg- Good and responsible Agents wanted. Address, JO!AS OBERHOLTZF.R, Mifflintown, Juniata Co., Pa. New Lumber Yard. Patterson, Pa. BEYER, GUYER & CO. Have opened a Lumber Yard in the bor ough of Tatterson, and are prepared to fur nish all kinds of Lumber, such as Siding, riooring, Studding, Paling, Shingles, Lath, Sash, &c., ia large or email quantities, to suit cus tomers. 3jro. Persons wanting Lumber by the car load can be supplied at reduced rates. BEYER, GCYER 4 CO. George Goshen, Agent. Pattarson, May 15, '72-tf A Large assortment of Qneensware, China ware. Glassware. Crockery ware. Cedar' ware, &C, for sale chEap by TILTEN I ESPEN8CHAE'S. STOBE, U H 3 M 3IA.TY I COJIEALL! D. P. PAISTE. Crystal Palace. Crystal Palace. The First, The Best, The Cheapest, The Largest Stock of Goods IX THE COUNTY, To 02er to the Public AT THE VERY LOWKST PltlCES. Just Received from Eastern Markets. Seeing Them will Guarantee You Satisfaction. SHELLEY & STAMBAUGH. HE? CRYSTAL PALACE BHHDING, MIFFLINTOWN, PA. Oct. 8, 1872. New Store and New Goods. GROCERIES, PROVISIONS, &C. Hain Street, Mifflintown. HAVING opened out a GROCERY AND PROVISION STORE in the old stand on Main Street, Mifllintown, I would respect fully ask tbe attention of the public to the following articles, which I will keep on hand at all times : SUGAR, COFFEE, TEA, MOLASSES, RICE, FIS II, SALT,. DRIED AND CANNED FRUIT. HAM, SHOULDER, DRIED BEEF, Confectioneries, Nuts, &c, Tobacco, CitTJii-!-t, GLASSWARE, Xloin, Feed, .See. All of which will be sold cheap for Cash or Country Produce. Give me a call and hear my prices. J. IT. KIRK. Mifflintown, May 2, 1872. Meat ! 3Ieat! rrtHE undersigned hereby respectfully in X forms the citiiens of Mifflintown and Patterson that bis wagon will visit each ot ttese towns on TUESDAY, THURSDAY and SATURDAY mornings of each week, when they can be supplied with Choice Beef, "Veal, Mutton, Lnrd, Sec, during the summer season, and also PORK and SAUSAGE in season. I purpose fur nishing Beef every Tuesday and Saturday morning, and Veal and Mutton every Thurs day morning. Give me your patronage, and will guarantee to sell as good meat as tbe country can produce, and as cheap as any other butcher In the connty. SOLOMON SIEBER. June 14, 1872. Caution. ALL persons are hereby cautioned against Hunting, Fishing, or in any way tres passing on the farm occupied by the under signed, in Milford township. All persona so offending will be dealt with to the full extent of the law. JOSEPH FUNK. Poetry. From m Altoona TVitau Br KATIE 1 L' K. '.'CwSJ-at In the hidden depths of the ocean wave Lie pearls of value rare. Fashioned by the Creator's hand Inpriceleas beauty fair ; In the hidden depths if mighty earth Are riches untold vas' We know not all the costly wealth That 'ncath our feet is cast. In the hidden depths of every soul Lies some unspoken word. Some holy thought or memory By all save One unheard ; And He alone knows all the good That's hidden everywhere . He alone can sound the depths Of earth, and sky, and sea. - In the hidden depths of many hearts Sad sorrow siis enshrined Mingled with woe and bitterness Unknown to human kind ; But there is One who ever sees Who bears the failitajt call, And in our darkest hour SLines bright His love through all. Select Story. A Bachelor's Confession. BV HELEN FORREST GRAVES. Married? I? 'Not if I Inow my self and I raijier eupp;)9Aj,dQ-LJJut I came very near it last summer, and I'll tell you confidentially, of course how it happened. I wad up tbe Iludeqn, at Creawick Manor, veiling my second cousin, Joe Cifswick, wLo liad just come borne from India, with a pocket full of money, and no particular idea boar to speud it So be bought tbe old manor bouse, put up about a quarter of an acre of conserva tories, leveled off a croquet lawn, and filled tbe place wilb company. Joe is an agreeable fellow, and I rath er liked tbe idea of spending tbe summer in tbe country, with no bills to pay, so I didn't besitate to accept bis invitation at once. Mrs. Joe was exceedingly agreeable in her -way. too a dark, bright little creature, with cheeks like peaches and great bewildering eyes aud Bbe bad a sister as like ber as two peas. "Deueed pretty girl, that Miss Middle ton, Joe,' said I, tbe fiidt night I arri ved. Thhik -' iJjJo.... "Va4J..J don't mind telling yon that you've made rather au impression on her." "No!" said I, pulling my moustache. "Fact," eaid Joe. puffing away at his I'arlaga, wiib a twinkle iu bis eyes. "Why don't you go in for Jenny Mid dleton, old fellow 1 There's money there!" I eeliled the moustache to my satis faction, and turned the seal ring around on my little finger once or twice. "Well, you see the fact is, I'm not a marrying man,'' I finally answered. '-But if the girl uill make such a dead set at me '' j ''It's no fault of yours! Yesjlcora prehetid exactlyi" said Joe, coughing a little. "lut we've all got to come to it, sooner or later, Dionysius its like death or tbe rheumatism." "That is true, said I, reflectively ; and there is a good deal of style about Miss Jenny. Well, I'll take thia matter into consideration." "I would, said my cousin Joe, dryly. Creswick Manor, as ill luck would bave it, was crowded with company that week, and among the guests was a good looking young miscreant, Evan Hale by name, who appeared to be on aggrava ting'" good terms wilb Jenny Middle ton.-' 'The conceited puppy !" I said to myself. "But I'll put a spoke iu bis wheel, or my name isn't Diouysius I'ew ter i' But iust as I was considering where to insert the aforesaid spoke, some friendly wind blew op a telegram from Hale s Wall street ollice "Wanted, immediate ly" and just as I was rejoicing thereat, upon the very next day some unfriendly wind wafted up a letter for Jenny !" "It's irom Evan, I declare 1" said Mrs Joe, dancing up to ber sister with tbe epistle. "Do tell us what he says, Jen ny !' "From Mr. llale !" chirped Genevieve Gossamer, a blue-eyed fairy in muslin aud blue satin ribbons. "Why I hadn't any idea it bad come to a correspondence. Jeuny !" "Do behave, all of you !" said Jenny, and away she ran to read her letter in peace, with checks as pink as tbe ribbon-bow at ber throat. Now I leave it to you if matters didn't look rather bad 1 I smoked my cigar grimly in the ar bor, and tried to read "Stratbmore," but it was all to no avail. Evan Hale stalk ed through all the pages, and Miss Mid die ton's dewy brown eyes sparkled in every wreath of smoke, like haunting stars "I'l go to my room and have a glass of iced claret," mused I ; "and then I'll flirt with some of the other girls, and make Jenny jealous ! That will bring her 'round.'' My apartment was in the east wing of tbe mansion house, nc to reach it I had to go directly past that assigned to Miss Middleton ; and as ill luck would have it, the door waa wide open, and there, on the dimity -draped dressing-table, lay tne very letter that hud mad such a sensa tion among the girls that morning. "I'll have a peep at it," soliloquized I. "I'd like o see for myself what the young villain has had the impudence to write! All's fair iu love or war, they say." Thus meditating, I tiptoed into the room a dainty little bower of white muslin, pink ribbon, Luhin's perfumes aud crimping pins aud look up ibe let ter. -w But before I could unfold it. the sound of voices and footsteps, in the hall be yond, struck a thrill of dismay to my soul. "By Jove!'' I cried, mentally, "the sooner I get out of this the better." And dropping the letter, I made a mad plunge for the door. The door ! but oh, unlucky fates ! It was the wiong one; and, instead of es caping into the hall, I darted into a wil derness a grove, so to spealt of mus lin flounced dresses silken skirts aud snowy draperies. Before I ' could recover myself, the voices and footsteps -were close upon me ialbe very room and all retreat was effectually cut oiF. I retired upon a tel escopic cage of hooped skirts, which clung around me with almost human ma liciousness, aud drew the door as close as 1 dared. "Nothing on earth shall induce me to let any one iu !" I muttered between my teeth, as a parasol and ten band-boxes tumbled about my ears. Here was a pretty position, though, for Dionysius Pewter, esq., cooped up like a rat in a trap, among dresses and jockey bats, bis feet entangled iu hooped skirts, aud a sun umbrella hooked into his col lar ! Suppose any one should come to tbe closet 1 suppose the girls should find mo eaves-dropping f suppose But j'tst here Jenny Middleton mer ry, musical laugh routed the dismal pro cession of suppositions. "Just let me see it. Jenny dear!"' coaxed Nelly Powers. "One look, darl ing ouly one 1" "Nonsense !' cried Jtuny. "1 here's nothing In it, indeed " -riui you r reaiiy .eugageu w uiui i "Yes, really and truly." "But what will iMr. l'ewter say J" "Mr. Pewter, indeed !" Hashed out Jenny, so electric illy that I almost jumped among tbe slippers and ekirts. "A red-whiskered, couceited puppy, who fancies tbe whole leminiue woihi is in luve with him 1 What do you suppose I care what be says ?" "Though," said Nelly, demurely, "it would have been ln to bring him to the proposing point ! Just fancy him on bis knees ! Wouldn't he do it stiffly ?" An!? the little coquette laughed out at tbe idfti "Perhaps you could manage it your self,' said Jenny, wickedly "1 dare say I could," said Nelly.- One might do anything with such a fool as that 1" How my cheeks burned. "Just hand me that curling stick, dear," said Jenny, speaking with a cluster of hairpins in her mouth "And' now get tbe white muslin polonaise out of the closet." My heart gave a great jump, and then stood still as Nelly flitted across the room and laid ber baud on the knob of my prison-house "Dear me 1" cried Nelly, "what ails tho door ? It wou't open." "Give it a good pull," said Jenny, without lookiug around. " It often Slicks." Nelly pulled vigorously on her side I held stoutly on mine ; but as evil fate would decree the slippery handle sudden ly slid out of my giasp. and the dooi flew open, disclosing me to the girls' ter rified view, a statue of despair Before I could open my lips to speak, it was banged to again, and tbe key turned, while Nelly and Jenny flew into the hall, screaming in wild chorus : "A man ! a man ! a thief 1 a burglar ! a robber 1 a murderer !" In au instant tbe room was thronged with people, all asking questions at once, iu a sort of Babel of voices. "Where is he ?" bawled my cousin Joe I'll settle him I" As he spoke he threw opeu the door, making a lunge with a poker that came witbin a qnarter of an iuch of my head. "Hold on, Joe !'" I gasped, iu desper ation. "It's ouly I !" "Only you," roafed Joe; "and what on earth are yon doing here 1" "Hush sh sh 1" I whispered "Don't, for pity's sake, t-peak so loud ! I'll ex plaiu it all ; only let me out ! I shall smother in another minute, if yoa don't ' And like a convicted criminal, I was led out, the hooped skirts trailing after me, like a vindicative serpent, in full view of tbe girls, whose terror bad changed to hysterical laughter, half-sup pressed giggles. Alas, for tbe dignity of man ! I told my Cousin Joe as plausible a story as I could invent abont my having mistaken the room, but 1 don't think he believed me ; and those mischievous girls found the whole thing out before dusk. .I left Creswick Manor the next morn ing,' ani fcaarie" additional satisfaction of seeing Evan Hale's face at the win dow of the up-express as we passed it. I haven't received wedding-cards yet, but 1 dare say I shall. So, you see, if all this hadu't happen ed and if I had proposed to Jenny Middleton and if she bad accepted me and if there bad been So' such person as Evan Hale it's very possible that I might bave been married. That's bow it all happened. Hrs. Kary Y. Grssly. Alter a lingering illness, durintr lue last week of which her death has been almost hourly expected, Mrs. Horace Greely, at four o clock yesterday mor ning, breathed her last. She died without a strugle, passing away so quietly that the sorrowing watchers at her bfedside were hardly aware of the final moment. The sad occurance took place at the residence of Mr. Johnson, New York, where she had been remove 1 at ber own request from tbe family "mansion at ("bappaqua, in tbe first week of the preseut month, that she might ksre tbe companionship of ber mat imtima'e and valued fiieuds. Mr. (Jietly aud his daughter Ida bave been constant watch ers at the bedside of the invalid, and Mr. Greely some time since relinquished his political work aud correspondence en tirely, that bis attcutioti might be given solely to his wife. At the moment of dissolution, however, he was not present, having retired to bis room to obtain the repose required by his unceasing vigils, aud M.ss Ida Greely and Mrs. Stewart were the only persons in the room. Mrs. Greely, w hose ma-ten name was Mary Young Cheney, was bom iu Con neclicut, where ber family still reside. In 1S35 she went to Warrenton, N. C-, to take charge of a school, and was mar ried to Mr. Greely iu that town in 183G. Mr. Greely, then in bis twenty sixth year, was at that time conducting the Neic Yoik-r, puplished in New York city. This was nearly five years before the establishment of the Tribune. Mrs. Greely s influence over her husband was great, and she is said to bave bad no small share in shaping some of the most importantjets of bis public life. Five children have been born to them, but only two, both daughters, are now living,' two sons and ouo daughter having died in early life. .Mrs, Greely has been an invalid from pulmunary disease and tbeuinatic affec tion for a number of years. She recent ly went to Europe for the benefit of ber health, and returned but a few weeks since apparently much improved from a residence on the Isle of Wight The hope of her recovery was not realized however. She soon commenced to fail after her return, and a dropsical condi tion eettin in a few days ago the dis ease rapidly proceeded to a fatal termi nation I'hiln. Inquirer, Oct. 30h. m .... aa A Rich Story. A Parkcrsburg paper says that sev eral members of tbe Legislature took the cars at Grafton, late on the evening of the 16th nit , for Wheeling, aud among tbe number was a Mr. U.. of somewhat large proportions, physically, and a Mr. 1)., of proportional uudersize. These two tbe stalwart Mr. G. and the smooth faced little Mr. D took a berth together, it seems, in a sleeping car. The little man laid behind and tbe good natured, waggish Mr. G. before. Mr. 1). was soon sleeping and snoring furiously. Mr. G., more restless under his legislative burdens, soon arose, and was sitting by the stove, when an elder ly lady came aboard and desired a berth. ' All right, madam," said G , "I took a berth with tny son, and you can occu py my place in that berth where my lit tle boy is sleeping." Taking Mr G. at bis word, tbe lady disrobed, and laid down with the boy. After a quiet repose of some time the boy, Mr D , became restless from some cause, and began to kick around, to the annoyance of the old lady So, in a maternal manner, she patted him on tbe back, and said : "Lie still, sonny; pa said I might sleep along with you." "Thunder and lightning !" cried the Legislator, "who are you T I am no boy ; I'm a member of tbe West Virginia Legislature.'' It ia said that tbe lady swooned, and could uot be brought to till D. promised that G. should be impeached. D. swears that the thing shall not rest here. What action the Legislature will take for the purpose of protecting its own dignity remains to be seen. There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. Br not affronted at a jest. If one toss salt on thee, thon wilt receive no harm unless thon hast sore places. -. Wo. Eetertiottf : A W1FB OF A' Wi'EK TAX KM AMONO -STwANOfJBS, BOBBED OF HBB MOMCY AND ABAMIONED We have just been pltreed in posse" sion of the following particulars of a Case of wife desertion of so heartless a nature that tho Srate who perpetrated it ought to be treated to a coat of tar and feathers before bein bauded over to the lenient law to deal with r Somewhere about the 15th of September, a man na med Richard Lane, claiming to live in Iowa City, but working in Muscatine, contrived to induce a respectable widow lady of that place, Mrs Maria Hatha'-., way, to marry him After the wedding Lane persuaded bis wife to leave her child with some fiieuds in in Muscatine aud accompany him on a journey in a wagon into Illinois. They reached this city on tho evening of the ISth, and! camped out that night near the fa?r grouuds In the morning Lane asked his wife if she had any change, and the confiding woman handed him her pocket book, containing SI 40, all the money she possessed. They then started np town to procure something to eat. Arriving' at Walter Kennedy's, be refreshed him self at the bar and watered his horses. They then drove to Mis. Beck's grocery, a short distance nearer town, and, after having some crackers and cheese wrap ped up, Lane pretended that he had been robbed of bis pocket book, and conveyed the distressing information to bis wife in the wagou. They drove back to Ken nedy's, where, a'ter a little inquiry about the missing money. Lane asked Kennedy to direct him to a place where bis wife could be boarded for her work while he went to Iowa City to get some money ot bis own, which be said he had there. They were' directed to the resi dence of Mrs. Jones, where Lane made arrangements for bis wife's board, at four dollars a wet k, an 1 promised to leave bis team at Kennedy's while he was ab sent, which was to be but two or three days. After breakfaast he left, taking with him the team, but leaving behind Mrs. Lane's trunk, and since that tima nothing Las been heard of Lim. It was" many days before the poor woman would allow herself to believe that she bad been deserted, and when tlie full realization came ber' distress was very great coon, however, she gathered courage t3 IooV her situation full in the face a stranger in a stranire town, but not very far from borne. Mrs. Jones procured some wash ing for her to do, and by this means she contrived to earn money enough to lake her bonre, and on Sunday she left for Muscatine on a steamboat. What her real circumstances and situation in life are, we did not ascertain ; but she im pressed those who became acquainted with her here as being a refined and Iaf-dy-Iike persm, unused to rough treat ment. She certafnly showed an element of the heroic in so quickly extricating herself from her distressing predicament. Rwk lalan l I'uion. Thb porter f one of the drawing room cars on a train from New York re cently got off hr- car at Barrytown to' interview a goat which was standing near the station. He went up to his" goat ship, and, giving lytn a playful kicEf, started to walk back toward his car, tbe train bavin started again. Mr. Goat, unbeknown to tbe porter, followed np closely, and, at an opportune moment, "bucked" in the basement of his panta loons, giving, at the same time, a cheer ful "Ba-a a !" The porter was knocked head over heels, and before he eoujd get up, he got another buck in the same place, followed by another "Ba a a !" By this time bis train had moved off. lie reached Troy that night at 12 o'clock. He thinks Barrytown is a nice place if a man stays in his car when the train stops' there. - A practical chemist the other day put a lighted match into a tin can that had contained nitro glycerine, to see if any explosive matter adhered to the sides. Up to the present time no inquest has been held, as nothing can be found for the coroner lo sit upon Thb human hi art is six inches in length, four inches in diameter, and beat 70 times per minute, 4,200 times per hour, 100,$00 times per day, and 36, 817,200 times per year. Thb wretch who can stand in a pair of slippers worked for him by Lis wife, aud eeold ber, is a brute, and deserves the gnut in both feet n.i m The cird-iilaying pig will soon bo eclipsed by a billiard playing hen which is in training iu Nebraska. As we grow old, time surround ns by those who love us, itist.-ad of those we love. Pretty girls are the gnidc-boarJs that ! point the way to the State of Matrimony. Fashionable young ladies, like letters', require stamps or tbe males reject thera. Why is the letter G like tbe sun ? It is in tbe centre of light.