Hi Si ' RATES OP ABYERTISIX9-, ,. ATI advertising for lest than three months for one square of nine liues or lean, wi" be eharged one insertion, 75 cents, three $1.50, and 50 cents for each subsequent insertion. Administrator's, Executor t and Auditor's Notices, $2,00. Professional and Business Cards, not exceeding one square, and inclu ding copy of paper, $8,00 pery ear. Setieea in reading columns, ten cents per line. Ker ehanta advertising by tbeyear at speeial rates. 1 s-oitb- ti samW. 1 TYir. One square.. $ 8.50 $ 6.00 S ftOtf Two squares-. S.ntf .( lf.00 Three squares.-. 6.0O' . 1.V M.M One-fourth coi n. lU.m ZZ.tiJ Half tolutnn 1.0t 25.' 0 4iUa One column 30.(10 45.-J0 SO.OO ESTABLISHED IN 1848. PCFLISHBD EVSRT TlDIIIDlI MoHtHO, Bridge Street, opposite the Odd Fellows' Hall, MIFFLINT0W5, PA. (5 I !f is I. 5 Th Juriata Scxtiibi ii published every "Wednesday morning at $1,60 a year, ia ad. vance ; or $2,00 in all eases if not paid promptly in advanee. No subscriptions dis continued until all arrearages are paid, unless at the option of the publisher. B. F. SCHWEIEK, turn oossTiTurioa mi diiob aid tbi aroacsnaT or ra laws. EDITOR A5D PROPRIETOR. VOLUME IXV, NO. 14 MIFFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNT!, PENN'A., APRIL 5, 1871. WHOLE NUMBER 1255 f I Mil 1 $usratss Carbs. JOUIS E. ATKINSON. Attorney at Xaw, MIFFLINTOWN, PA. VcryColUcting and Conveyancing promptly attended to. Office, second story of Court House, above Protbonatary's office. ROBERT McMEEX, ATTORNEY AT LAW, M1FFLIXTOWN, PA. OEee on Bridge street, ia the room formerly ossupied by Eira 1). Parlrer, Esq. LEX. K. McCLURE ATTORNEY AT LAW, 144 SOUTH SIXTH STREET, PHILADELPHIA. ect27-tf g B. LUL"1E', MIFFLINTOWN, PA., 03rs hn services to the citiiens of Juni ata county as Auctioneer and Vendue Crier. Charges, from two to ten dollars. Satisfac tion warranted. nov3-6m. DR7iVc71TuXDI0, PATTERSON, PENN'A. August 18, 1S09-tf. "Thomas a. elui:r, m. d., MIFFLIXTOWN, VK. Office hour 5 A M. to 8 P. M. Office in Beit'ord's building, two doors aboTe the Srn timl nfiice. Rridee street. augl8-tf So S. 5215712, IB. B IWILEOPHATIC PHYSICIAN t SURGEON ilaving permanently located in the bcrougb of Miffiimewn, offers hi profeaeiouel services to the citizens of this place and surroundiug soamry. t.'tUce oa Main street, over Reidler's Drug Sore. aug 16 lfG9-tf Br. R. A. Simpson Treats all firms of disease, and may be eon ulied as follows: At bis office in Liverpool Pa., every SATURDAY and MONDAY ap pointments cau be r-adc for other days. At John ti. Lipp's residence. Milliintown, Jnaiat Co., Ta., April Utii, 1871, till eveu--.f He 1'iincuiul BtrCall on or address DR. It. A. SIMPSON, dee 7 Liverpool, Perry Co.. Pa. ti. W. JtlcPHEREAS, x- , etv v (7 -a-- 601 SANSOM STREET, PHILADELPHIA. sue !3 ISItMy QF.STKAL CLAIM AGENCY, JAMES M. SELLERS, 144 SOUTH SIXTH 8TREET, miLADF.LPHIA. Jfft Barnties, Tensions, Back Pay, Horse Cairns, Plate Claims, &c, promptly collected. No cWce for information, nor when money is not collected. ocf-7-tf Sew Bxng, &toxG IX PERRYSVILLE. DR. J. J. APPLEBAUGH has established a Drug and Prescription Store in the above-named place, and keeps a general as eortmcnt of VSUGS ASD MEDICISES, Also all other articles usually kept in estab lishment" of this kind. Pure Wiues and Liquors for medicinal pur poses. Cigars. Tobacco, Stationery, Confec tions (firm-class). Notions, etc., eie. js-The Doctor gives advice free NEW DRUG STORE. BANKS 4HAMLIN, Main Street, Mffluilown, ra. DEALERS IN DREGS iS HEDICISES, Chemicals, Dye Stuff, Oils. Paints, Varnishes, Glass, Putty, Coal Oil, Lamps, Burners, Chimneys, Bruehes, Infants Brushes. Soaps, Hair Brushes, Tooth Brushes. Perfumery, Combs. Hair Oil, Tobacco, Cigars, Notions, and Stationary. LARGE VARIETY OF PATENT MEDICINES, selected with great care, and warranted from Purest of WINES ASD LIQUORS ferMedi- cal Purr- oaes. . . PRESCRIPTIONS compounded with great, care. I t ill lit WIiR, Mitfiatown, ra.. Apent of the CELEBRATED AMERICAN ORGANS for Juniata county, lheeenre . i , . Aitlive Suited to all me uesi uuwai'o ' - , eireums-auces. Prices ranging from 100 '??:: , . e must rT.ASS PIANOS All instruments sold warranted for fivs years. aug 2 l87-tr. CQU Lumber, Fish, gait, ana an km . .... D.:i.Aafi Ti.i m kinds of Grain and Seeds bought at the highest market price for CT 1 HM-oliAfirllN. a"! 'Ml. cash or exciiangeu iur "1 . e. . ...;t oiiainmfni. 1 am pre p3.oders bill, of lumber just as wanted and on short notice, of either oak or yellow p.ue nERmER. Jsn4 ' Port Royal. Juniata Co.. P- The Guvpcr .Market Car Runs o Philadelphia every Monday and returns every Wednesday loaded witn POTATOES. CABBAGE, FRESH FISH, Oyster in tho shell, or opened, to suit pur chase! g. Orders from merchants soiiouc- Good, carried at fair rate.. Aprn 18. 187. Jocat SLbutrtbtmenls. Hurralil Hurrah 1 Great Excitement at the Mifflin Chair Works! W IIY is it that everybody roes to TTM. F. SNYDER when they art in need of any kind of Chairs f BECAUSE he keeps the Best and Finest Assortment of all kinds of Chairs that was ever offered to the eyes of the public. Keailer, If you are in want of Chairs of any kind, you will do well to call on the un dersigned and examine his fine stock of Cane Scat anil Windsor Chairs, of all descriptions, before purchasing else where. Having lately started ia business, he is determined to do the very best he can as regards durability and cheapness, and war rant all work manvfaeturrd by Aim. teg' Remember the Sign of the If Ii TtlCD CIIAIlt on the pole on the corner of Main and Cherry streets, when you want to buy good cna:rs. WJI. F. SNYDER. Miffltntown. Feb S, 1871. a. B. SAB1CK .JOHS SOBTH FASICK &. NORTH, BOOT & SHOE MAKERS, . THIRD STREET, MIFFLIN, Two Doort North of Lutheran Church. Having entered into partnership, we are now prepared to manufacture and have for sale all kinds of BOOTS, SHOES AND GAITERS, Fua GKNTS', LADIES AND CHILDREN. Our work is all manufactured by ourselves, and we warrant it to he made of the best ma terial. (Ml work sold at our counter will be repaired free of charge, should the seaming give way. Give us a call, tor we reel connneni mat we ran furnish you with any kind of work you may desire. fey Repairing done neatly aad at reasona ble rates. FASICK & NORTH. aug 18, 18fi9-tf. The Place for Good Grape-vines IS AT T II E Juniata Oalltn Uintnarbs, AND GRAPE FIXE NULSEKY. THE undersigned would respectfully in form the public that he has started a Grape-vine Nursery about one mile northeast of MitBintown, where he has been testing a large number of the different varieties of Grapes ; and having been in the business for eeven years, he is now prepared to furnish VINES OF ALL THE LEADING VARIETIES, AND OF THE MOST PROMISING KINDS, AT row HATER. by the single vine, doien, hundred or thou sand. All persons wishing good and thrifty vines will do wall to call and see for them selves. BOT- Goad and responsible Agents wanted. Address, JONAS OBERHOLTZER. Mifflintown, Juniata Co., Pa. JUNIATA VALLEY BANK OF MIFFLIXTOWN, PEXN'A. JOSEPH POME ROT, President. T. VAN IRVIN, Cashiei. MBECTOKS. n.enta Pamerov. lJohn J. Patterson. Jereme N. Thompson, ! George Jacobs, Joun oaisDaca. T A m nm. eei dennaitft. nav interest un tiuiv J'""" .- " ted States Bonds, cash, ooupons and checks. t :. . - t rt Bnw nap. rtf t li. United States a : Amwvnmiim liiiv .ml ?! eniti aad IJni- and also to England, Scotland, Ireland and Germany. ' eelt Revenue stamps. la sums oi ai - per cent, umcu.uv. In sums of $500 at 2 J per cent, discount. In sums of $1000 al 3 per cent, discount. faug 18 1869 New Tailor Shop. 3Iain Street, Mifflintown. THE undersigned would respectfully in form his old customers, and the public generally, that he has again started business (for the present in Watts' Book Store,) where he has a full assortment of CLOTHS. CASSLVERES. VESTIKGS, &C. The above ara all new goods of the latest styles and bought at the lowest prices, which will enable me lo sell cheaper than such goots have heretofore been sold in this place. Butterick's Patterns for children's dresses, and Fashion Plates for ladies, men and boys, for sale as chesp as can be purchased in New York ; also Shirt Patterns for sale. njogu. All work made to jrder on short no tice and reasonable terms. WILLIAM WISE. March 1. 1871-tf Boot and Shoe Shop. THE undersigned, fashionable Boot ft and Shoemakers, have entered into If partnership, in the borough of Patter-4-w son, where they are prepared te accommo date the most fastidious in LADIES' WEAR, Gents1 Fine and Coarse Boots, Brogans, CHILDREN'S WEAR, &C &C. ii. m.nHinr done in the o) a test a An tier nrl niton the shortest notice. A liberal share of pnblio patronage is respectfully solicited. Satisfaction guaranteed. MB.Shop located on Tnsoarora street, one door south of Dr. Bnndio's drug store. J. K. DEAN it BR0. March 8, 1871-1y n..jKllla far nnblie sales printed on ' fbort notiee at the snaTtni urnca. 33isrfllaa?0tt5. The Great Medie&I DisceTtrj ! Dr. WALXXW CALrrOBJttA.""" VINEGAR BITTERS. s's Hundreds of Thonutndj Bear testimony to their Wonder Cttl Carailva Streets. 1.8? TRVT ARX HOT A VII FANCY DRINK, Hade of Tmrnr Haas, Whlakar, Tnmt Hrlrtta m4 aWfaae Uarailoeorad.spteed ndaweetenedto pleaM the tuu, calM"ToB. Ic."" Apetlerm," Reatoms,' ae, tbat leaol the tippler oa to drnakeaaei. and rain, tat are) atra Medicine, made n-om the K.tlTeKoott aad Rerbsof California, ft fraaa all Alrlla Ktlnalaate. Tneyara thaOatEAT BLVOD rFKIr-IKKaad LIFB GIVIMO TX.1X. CI PLB a perfect Renovator andlDfliu.Mil of the Sruem, earrruic of all poisonous matter aad reatoruK ths Mood to a healuir eoadltloav ' pereoaeaatake these Bitters accordlat to ses tloa and nmaui loag snwelL Far IalasaasHlarr aad Chiwale Kbaa asailsaa aad Uaat, Drspepala r IaaB. ajeatlaa, Blllaaa, Keaaluaat wad latawto aaltteat Fever. Diseases mf Ik BIV Liver, Kldaer. aad Bladder, these Bit ten have beea moat ineeeasful. Sack Dlw a are easasd bT Tlllated Bld, which Is geeerallr pradaeed by deraacsmaat at she Pla-eatlve Ortssa OYbPKPHIA OB. 1HOIGE8TIOH. Baadaeha, rain la Ue Shoulders, Coacha, Tlgtia aeaa of the Cheat, DUslneas, Boar EraetaUona of the Stomach, Bad taata In ths Month, Bilious AW . tacks. Palpltatloe of the Heart. Inflammation of the Lanes, rata la the regions or the Kldnera.aad ahsndred other palnral armptoms, are the off sprtacaof Drepepala. Thev Invigorate Us Stoaiseh sad sttntalau th torpid liver aad bowels, which reader them of aa q nailed eOeaey la cleanilng the blood of all Impsrttlea, and Imparting saw Ufa and vigor ta' the whole arstem. rOB8EIH DISEASES. KropUoM,Tet.r, Salt Rheom, Blotches, Spota, Flmplea, Pnatalaa. Bolls. Carbaaeles, Ring -Worms, Beald-Head, 8or Erea, Erysipelas, Itch, Bearfs, Dlaeoloratlons of the Skin, Bnmora and Dlaeaaes of the Skin, of whatever name or nature, are literally dug np aad carried oat of the arstem la a abort time br the ee of theaa Bltwra. One bottle la each cases will convince the most Incredulous of their erarattve effect.. Cleanse the Vitiated Blood whenever yoa Sad IM Imparltle. bursting through the akin In Pim ples, Eruptions or Bona ; cleanse It when yon and It obstructed and sluggish In the veins i eleanae It vrhea It la foal, and your feelings win tell yoa when. Eeep the blood far sad the health of the system will follow. riX, TAPE and other WOB1HS, lurking la the system of so many thoaaanda, are effectually destroyed and removed. For full directions, read carefully the circular around each bottle. J. WALKER, Proprietor. B. B. MCDONALD CO, Drags-late and Gen. Agents. Baa Franelsco, CalH aad ti sad M Commerce Street, Hew York. OLD BT ALL DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS. Grocery and Provision Store, Main 6treet, Mifflintown, Pa. THE undersigned, having removed his store from East Point to Ibe building recently occupied by Euos Bergy as a flour and feed store, on Main street, opposite the Post Office, would hereby announce to the citizens of Vifflinlown and surrounding coun try that be has on hand a full and well select ed assortment of Groceries and Xotions, As follows .- Syrups, Teas, Coffees, Flour and Feed, Mackerel, Salt, Coal Oil, Buckets, Brooms. Fancy and Common Soaps, Spices, Rice, Crackers. Coffee Essence, Starch, Corn Starch, Vinegar, Washing 8oda, Baking Soda, Lamp F'ues, LampWickt, Brushes, Indigo, Combs, Hair Oil, Per fumery, Gloves and Hosiery, Sus penders, Thread, Buttons, Notions and Stationery, and in fact a good assortment of everything usually kept in eoun'ry Grocery and Notion Store. Also, a large stock of BOOTS, and a CatnpMc issartaseat f Ladles an4 CUI- crca's SUMS raraass ST The highest rales allowed in exchange for Butter and Egg'.-fcB. Prompt payers, thirty days. mar30 WIK.VfcLlLB JiAKTLl. WANTED! Will Exchange Greenbacks for CTl Cords of goed Chestnut Oak Bark, J VyvJ if delivered soon at Patterson, Per- rysville, or Thompsontown R. R. Station. Also, oWn) good sound bewed Locust Posts, 5000 Round Boared Fence Posts. Also, Will Pay Cash for Bailroad a ies. Will Buy all Kiwi of Lumber. Go where yon can sell your Lumber, Bark, Pnata. An., far CASH, as ron can bnv more for $9 in cash than yoa can for $10 ia trade. I have also a full supply of DOTY'S CLOTHES WASHERS AND WRINGERS on hand, which I will sell cheap for cash. Also Ave Horse Hay Forks, the best now in use, which I offer at reduced prices. J. B. M. TODD, may 81, 1870 Patterson. rtOAL ASD LUMBER YARD. The under J sinned begs leave to inform the public that he keeps constantly on band a large Stock of Coal and Lumber. His stock embraces in part. Stove Coal, Smith Coal and Lime-bur nets Coal, at the lowest cash rates. Lumber of all kinds and quality, such at White Pine "lank, two inches, do II White Pine Boards, I inch, do one-half inch. White Pine worked Flooring. Hemlock Boards, Scantling, Joice, Roofing Lath, Plastering Lath, Shingles, Striping, Sash and Poors. Coal and Lumber delivered at short notios. Persona on tht East side ef the River can be furnished with Limehurners Coal, &., from tbecoal yard at Tysons Lock. aug 15-ly. GEORGE GOSHEN Executor's Notice, EtUU of Elizabeth Bell, dtttani. NOTICE it hereby given that Letters Testa mentary on the estate of Elisabeth Bell, late of Fayetle township, dee'd., have been granted to the under iirned, residing in Walker township. All persona indebted-lo1 said estate ara requested to make immediate payment, and those having claims will please present them properly authenticated far set tlement. J0H.1 X. MOORB, Executor. Wia n A a sea sbb asjv S a, A 2l W lit us NJ S 1-1 Hot fa Jlott's Corner. WISHING. BT JOBS O SAXt. Of nil the amusements of tho mind, From logie down to fishing. There isn't one that yon can find So very cheap as " wishing ;" A very ahoio diversion, too. If wo hot-rightly use it. And not, as we are apt lo do. Pervert it and abuse it. I wish a common wish indeed My parts was somewhat fatter, Tbat I might cheer the ehild of need. And not my pride to flatter ! That I might make oppression reel. As enly gold can make it, Aad break the tyrant's lod of tteel. As only gold can break it. I wish that sympathy and lovs. And every human passion That has its origin above. Would come and keep in fashion ; That scorn, and jealousy, and hate, Aad every base emoliou. Were buried fifty fathoms deep Beneath the waves of ocean. I wish tbat friends were always true, And motives always pure ; I wish the good were not so fsw, I wish the bad were fewer ; I wled that persons ne'er forgot To heed their pious teaching ; I wish that practicing was not So different from preaching. I wish that modest worth might bo Appraised with truth and eaador ; I wish that innocence were free Frsm treachery and slander ; I wish Ibat men their vows would miad ; That women ne'er were rovert ; I with that wives were always kind, And busbsnda always lovers. Ulisttllantous gtairag. TERRIBLE STORM AT SEA. Tbe steamship Europa, Captain Mc Donald, of tlie Ant Lor line, which arriv ed at Glafgow, on Monday, encountered a week of horrors on her passage. Squal ly weather was experienced during tbe first four ddjs, and on March 3d, when ix days out, the gale increased in fury. The ecene at 8 o'clock P. m. is descri bed as hav ing been awful. In all direc lious foam-crested waves seventy to eigh ty feet high, ran roaring upon the gallant vessel, threatening to crush her ; but she rone. Men waited and listened with blanched faces ; women sobbed and prayed, and litlle children huddled together close to tha side of their parent in terror. About an hour later, when the excitement among the passengers had somewhat subsided Captain McDonald went on deck to give instructions to the mat-a for the night, and in company with Mr. A. D. Corson, of New York, a paesenger, started np tbe companionway. When they reached the deck the storm was at its greatest fury, and what then took place ia thus described. - The captain laughingly dareo Mr. Corson to go with him upon the bridge. Mr. Corson accepted the challenge and the two started forward. They had barely reached the end of the deck house when tbe ship gave a sudden lurch to starboard, and Mr. Corson's courage cool ed. lie said "Captain, I guess I'll go back, as I've only got my slippers on." The Captain laughed, and said "AH right, go back then." Mr. Corson shou ted, "Captain, take care of yourself !" and re-entered the cabin. lie bad hardly seated himself when he was startled by a tremendous crash, quickly followed by the coarse yells of the seaman, "help 1" The Captain's overboard !"' Mr. Corson sprang up the steps, and saw at a glance the full extent of the disaster. A tre mendous sea bad struck the bridge be neath the starboard side, twisting the horizontal iron railing into perpendicular position, and tearing up tbe planking like paper. This broke the wave, and its crest fell with a crash upon the leeward side of the bridge, snapping tbe stanchions and grinding that part of the floor into kindling wood. The almost solid moun tain of water then bounded off into the sea again, staving in two boats and break ing the main-boom, having evidently turned a somersault in its passage. It whelmed the captaio and first and second mates, sweeping them far off into the deep. The Bhip was speedily slowed and slop ed and the buoys and ropes were cast into the waves, but without avail. The news of the disaster was carefully kept a secret from all but the cahin passengers. Tbe remainder of tbe night was speut in pray ers and tears. Even the bravest refused to occupy the state-rooms, and lie down in their clothiDg in the saloon. Mean time the gale became a tornado. At about midnight another wave struck tbe Europa, and the noble vessel trembled from stem to stern. . The hurricane con tinued through the night and all day on Sunday, Sunday night and Monday, the vessel from necessity going under a very slow head of steam all the time. To add to the horror on the night i t the disaste one of tbe intermediate pir-enger heard of the captain's death and spread the story among his fellows. Next morning it was told to ths steerage' naaseneers fill ing them with consternation: A kind of mutiny ensued, a mass indignation meet ing was held, and a committee of two one member selected from the interme diate and one from the steerage passengers was sent to thn remaining mate, to de mand that he shonld pnt into the nearest port. But the cool headed, skillful officer quieted them after awhile, and they soon became so well satisfied with the second mate's management of the ship that they clubbed together and raised twelve pounds sterling, which they gave him, upon the safe arrival of the vessel, with the warm expressions of their gratitude and esteem. Captain McDonald was a Scotchman, thirty-toar years of age, and had been a sea captain sixteen years. The first mate Mr Davis, aud the third. Mr. Walker, who were lost with him, were all Scotch men, TEMPERANCE A5D CRIME. Not long since a mother in Syracuse took her little child's life by forcing down its throat a cup of whisky. The Tribune comments upon the case a follows : " The temperance question has become an unmitigated bore to many men of cul ture and refinement. Tragedies, snch as that at Syracuse, may very properly serve, they think.- as a text for needed and beneficial sermons to the lower class es, bat their conscience being clean, there ia no reason why these unhandsome corpses should be brought between the win and their more delicate senses. But it is to these very men we wish to say a few practical words. They would he prompt lo remove a stagnant pool if the wiud carried the miasms into the windows of their own coetly dwellings as welt as into the hovels where it originated. Put ting all questions of morality aside, drunkenness, as our physicians and the statistics of every State prove, is the pregnant, death breeding influence which is tbe cause of half the physical disease and cerebral weakness in America to-day Climate influence has its share in this, but temperament has more. We are coo bilious and nt;rvous a people to bear tbe use of liquor with impunity ; and the more cultivat ed the man, the more accus tomed to brai n rather than manual labor, the less able i he to bear it ; the more sure and rapid is its effect, not only upon him-himst-lf, but upon his children aad his children's chi ldren. The bottle of cham pagne on his dinner-table, to the cool headed man of business is, he holds, a necessary harmless stimulent after his day's work ; only a vulgar fanatic would protest against it. lie keeps it there, therefore, and passes with a smile of in difference the vile grog-shops where the dangerous classes find their necessary stimulent. - They are not of his kin or kind, either in their temptation or down fall. In a few years he wonders why his son, under the influence of champagne and highly seasoned food, should become a hopeless debauchee and libertine, and is still more pnzzled as to where his daughters could have inherited their weak bodies and weaker minds. Let any man consult his family physician, aud he will learn the old, hackneyed fact in science, that the nse of liquor entails upon offspring a greater or lews degree of im becility and disease. We coufiiie ourselves to the purely physical view of this ma Iter. Tbe sta tistics, with which we are familiar, leave noue of us ignorant of the fact that drunkenness has dragged i.ato our peni tentiaries aud jails two-th irds of their inmates. Looking around through wbat is called society, we see but few families out of which some gallant, gouerous boy, the one nsually the most loved and most worthy of love, has not gone down that sudden path into the outer darkness, cursing God and his own life. Is tbi to have an end ? Shall we act as reason able men, and grapple with drunkenness as we would with cholera or any 6tber pestilence? Or shall we, fathers and mothers, go on year after year building our hopes on our boy, teaching him Christ's love with our lips, and .with our hands putting sure death in his grasp ?" A Smart Maryland Girl. Miss Macy Martin Middlebrook, a young lady from the county of Anne Arundel, Mary laud, not yet 22 years of age, sold the last one hundred of her cabbage crop this week for $6 50. The whole crop numbered slightly over 5000 heads, and has aggregated something over $235. When it is remembered that Mies Middle brook is not remarkably robust, weighs only 123 pounds, and that she tilled tbe soil and made the crop with her own bands, but few will withhold the remark that Miss Middlebrook is every inch of a woman. Christmas Eve she sold in the Lexington Matket, in Baltimore, over 500 pounds of turkey, of her own rais ing. at twenty cents per pound, and since the 15th day of October last has knitted over three dozen pairs of socks. Now if here is not a wife worthy of any man, we would like to know what constitutes worth in a wife. So a man in pursuit of a better half might go a long way and fare worse than in the county of Anne Arundel. Ta. Timu John Willhoor, while plowing recently, near Carlisle; turned np four canister shot and twelve farthings, one of the latter being dated 1600. THE SUBSTRATUM OF HABIT. Good old Deacon S , of Ipswich, who laid up a goodly store of this world's ealtb, and retired from active business. was a stern patriot, and a prompt support er of government in its hour of peril Among the goods aud chattels of which he still retained possession was an .old brig, of two or three hundred tons meas urement, which had recently brought home a cargo of sugar from Cuba, aud which had been pronounced by her skip per to be unfit for another voyage with out much repair. But the Deacon sent one of his younger sons to Boston, where the brig lay, with instructions to sell her if he could. Said the old man : "She's good enough for coasting, Tim and may be of much service yet Get eight thousand dollars if you can ; but don't let her go for less than six thou sand." Timothy went to Boston, where he found half a dozen parlies eager to pur chase, and without delay he sold the ves sel, and returned horn. "What, Tim back so soon t D'ye sell, the brigl'' "Yes, father." "IIow much d'ye get I" "Twelve thousand." "Twelve thousand ipo "Twelve thousand dollars, to be sure." The old Deacon could not credit it. Tho sum was more than double any pos sible price he could have fixed a tbe brig's real value. Of comae nobody bad been reckless enough to pay any such sum in cash. "Look ye, Tim," he cried, with great indiguation, " you've been aud sold thai old brig to some underhanded rebel some contemptible euemy of our govern ment who was willing to promise dou ble what she was worth just to get her off down South ! His notes aren't worth the paper they're written on." Bui Tim assured tbe old man that he bad sold the vessel to carry provisions to our own troops ; and, furthermore, that be had received the full amount in greenbacks, which latter statement he verified by producing the crUp aud highly illuminated issues of Uncle Sam's Treasury Department. The good old Deacon stood for a little time thoughtful. Then he laid his band upon few son s shoulder, and, witn a slight shadow of regret upou his face, se riously said ; "Tim, if ye'd hung on, and been a bit stiff, dou't ye think ye miifht hate sut a LIETLE MO BR for her? SLEEP, FA15TLXJ, APOl'LEXT. When a man is asleep, his pulse beats and his lungs play, but he is without sense, and you can easily wake bim up. If a person faints, he, too, is withou: sense, but he has no pulse aud does not breathe. Apoplexy is between the two; the heart beats, tbe lungs play as in sleep, and there ii no sense, as in fainting, but you cannot shake the mun back to life. In sleep, the face is natural ; in a faint ing fit, it has the pallor of death ; in ap oplexy, it is swollen, turgid, and fairly livid If a man is asleep, let him alone ; na ture will wake him np as soon as he has got Bleep enough. When a person faints, all that is needed ta to lay him down flat on the floor and he will "come to" in double-quick time. He fainted because the heart missed a beat, failed for an instant, failed for only once to send tbe proper amount of blood to the brain. If yon place the patient in a horizontal position, lay him on his back, it does not require mneh force of the heart to send the blood on a level to the bead ; but if you set a man up. tbe blood has to be shot upwards to the head, and this requires much more force ; yet in nine cases out of ten, if a person faints and falls to the floor, the first thing done to him is to run to him and set him up, or place him on a chair. In apoplexy, as there is too much blood in the head, every one can see tbat the best position is to set a man up, and the blood uaturally tends downwards, as much so as water will come out of a bottle when turned npeide down, if the cork is out. If, then, a man is merely asleep, let hint alone, for tbe face is natural ; if a man has faioted, lay him flat on bis back, for his face is deadly pale ; if a man is apoplectic, set him in a chair, because the face is turbid, swollen, livid, with its excess of blood. To Make Cows Give Milk. The agri cultural editor of the Bee Kreper't Journal vouches for the following, handed him by a friend : If yon desire to get a large yield of milk, give your cows three times a day water slightly warm, slightly salted in which bran has been stirred in tbe proportion of one quart to two gallons of water. You will gain twenty-five per cent, immediately nnder the effects of it, and she will become so attached to the diet as to refuse to drink clear water unless very thirsty, but this mess she will drink at almost any time, and look for more The amount of this drink is an ordinary wafer pail at a time, morning, noon, and night Your animal will then do her best at discounting the lacteal. Practical jokes. The fun of a practical joke consists ftf tbe opportunity given to enjoy - the phy sical or mental suffering of the viotiinf. Of course, stSch enjoyrie-nt i cruel in' st greater or less degree, asd just s lar civilization grows toward perfretfon. tho Imposition to enjoy ttfe pain of other's disappears. rVactical jkes will always probably be enjoyed by boys who are) uaturally youn savages', an! delight in tormenting all weaker animals but, we' are gladl to see, are ceaswg to be popuTar among ,v grown-up people." Vhamtrrt Jnnrual has a collection of practical jokes, which are, for the most pari, quite new : The aient8 usfd to iaafge fir prac tical jokes to a considerable extent, as for instance, the Tbracians, at iVr drinking parties, sometimes" played the game of hanging. They f?xed a ro-ftid nooae to the bougSf ftf a tree, aud places! underneath it a ft'Aie of saieh a shape that ft would easily turn around when any one stood on it Then they drew lots, and he who drew ths lot took' a sickel in his hand, stood on the Stone n'wl put his neck in the halter. Then tho stone was kicked avay ; if he' conld cut himself down with hh tickle, well and good ; but if he was not qnick enough he was hanged ontr?ht, and the rest laughed; thinking it good sport. Nero' jests were likewise veiy prac tical -'What a fat fellow that Senate is," he berved one day to a courtier, "see ine cat him in two," and did it in the most facetious rrfanner. A French Auditor of Accounts, fa tltf seventeenth century,- was a good practi cal joker all his life, ajnd even played a trick after' he had lost the power of en joying it, for he left four large esndlea tm be carried at his funeral, which had not beeu burning fifteen mincte) before tbey went off as fireworks. When a lady condescends to' a practi cal joke it is generally a very neat ofie. M. Boucort, the rich financier, was vtry stingy to his wife ia th matter of pin money. One day a lady,- closely Veiled, and very anxious not to be recognized, called upon him and borrowed a largo sum, leaving her diamond as a pledge. It was his wife. The Frenfch thieves Honietiaies used to ?teal so funnily that even their victims were half inclined to pardon theut. The Duke of Fronsac, w phew to Mar shal Richelieu, was coming ott ef the opera one night, in a splendid dress em broidered With pearls, wb&n two thrives managed to cnt bS his cottt tails. Ho turned into his Club where everybody laughed at him, and So he found out what had happened, and went home. Early the next morning 8 well-dressed man called at the Duke's hotel, and de manded to see him at once 6n a matter of most vital importance. Mor.sieor do Fronsac was awakened. " .Monsifftr," said the visitor, " 1 am an Officer of the pdfice. Monsieur, the Lieutenant of tho police has learned the accident wh?ch happened to you yesterday on leaving the opera ; nd I have been sent by him to reqaest you to order the coat in be placed in ray hands, that we may convict the offender by comparing it with the muti lated tails." The dress was given up. and the Duke was in raptures with the vigilance of the police ; but it was a n w trick of tbe rogue who had stolen the tails; by which he possessed himself of the eutire garment. SHORT ITEMS. Sleighing in New York State" last week. Indianapolis daily packs S60,000 eggs. Memphis has One lawyet to every 66 inhabitants. Jamaica's srlgar crop is put dowd at 40.000 hogsheads. The season for front fishing is from April 1st to August 1st A wealthy Philadelphia gentleman has erected a $1,000 dog house. There are thirty applications f.- divorce pendjng in the Erie county conrts1. The hay crop and pasturage of New Hampshire are valued at $12,000,000 annually. An unsuccessful attempt was mni", one night recently, to rob the Fir?t Na tional Bank of Indiana, this State. There are 6.OOO.00D real catare own ers in the United States, two-thirds of them being fanners. Living on twenty-five cents a day and street begging enabled old Jean I'ieffon of New Orleans to leave S 150,000. Huntingdon Presbyterians have con tracted with Mr. Hughes, of Beliefonte, for tbe erection of a $22,500 church edifice. Dan Bice recently missed a train at Columbus, Ohio, by just one minute It cost Daniel just $100 to catch the train, but he did it. Mr. Squires, of Kentucky, escorted a girl to a fair, and the next day she begin a 815,000 breach of promise soit agtinst him He makes the girls sign a paper releasing him from all responsibility be fore he take them anywhere now.