. , . . 'Vti-".;
If. II.
VOLUME fiMUS.'
TH COSSTITUTIOS THE tlKION-1-" TB KFORCIMRST OF TI1 LAWS.
EDITOR AXD PtTllMSIlER
MIFFLINTOWN. JUNIATA COUNTY, PENJVA., SEPTEMBER II mi.
WHOLE NUMBER 10G3
TEMI3 OFTUMICATIOX. ,
Tns JrsiATA Sestikel is published every
Wednesday morning, on Pridpe street, by
H. H. WILSON.
The PmrCUlVTION 1MUCE of (lie paper
be TWO DULLAK3 per year in advance,
Rii l if not paid within the first three
mom lis.
5j No paper discontinue J ttntil all ar
rearages are jiJ except at the option of the
Editor.
AfVERTisiicri. The rates of ADVERTIS
ING are lor one r juare. of Efanr lit.es or less,
one insertion, 75 cents three. J"l 60 : and 00 eta
or ea.'li subs.Mjueut insertion. Adininistra
or s, Executor's ai:J Auditor's Notices, $2,oo.
I'rofessioul and liusincss Cards, not exceed
ing 'Z'l lines, and including copy of paper.
i?.oo per year. Merchants advertising
(changeable quarterly) S 15 per year, includ
ing paper at their Stores. Nut ices in reading
columns, ten cents per line.
Jon Work. The prices of JOB WORK,
for thirty Dills, one-eight sheet, $1,2" ; one
ftiurll;, $2,oo; onc-bal:', f i,ao ; and addition
al numbers, half price and for Clanks, $2,00
ier quire.
justness (Cnrbs.
j it iiii AirivoNsi
M.Slintown, Juniata County, IV, Office
ea Main street Soulb of Bridge street.
S. G. DRESS LEI,
Justice of t!ie Peace, hureeyor and Con
veyancer, Susquehanna Tvicnsn'p,
TTT'ILL attend promptly to all business en
Y trusted to his care Deeds and other
ecriveuing done on t!ie shortest notice and or
the most reasonable ti mis. ranicularatten
tion paid to land turvcying. may 1, Ci.
J01INT.L.SAU51.
gl(tornci-at-
MIFFLISTOWX, JUNIATA. COU.VTi", PA.
OFFERS his professional services to the
public. Prompt attention given to the
prosecution of claims against the Government,
collections and all oilier buisiiiejs entrusted to
Lis car- Office in the Sheriff's ofiice, iu the
Court House.
Sept. Io, 1805.
VENDUE CRIEBJ
AUCTIONEER
The underpinned oflor lii Hr?iMi to th
public as Vendue fryer and Auctioneer. He
La had a very large experience, and feels
confident that he can give satisfaction to all
who may employ him. He may he addressed
at Miffiintown, or found at his home in Fer
managh township. Orders may also be left
at Mr. Will's Hotel.
Jan. 25, 1864. WILLIAM GIVEN.
MILITARY CLAIMS.
TnE undersigned will promptly attend to
the collection of claims ajaiust either the
Ftatt or National Government, Pensions, Back
I'y, Bounty, Extra Pay, and alt other claims
arising out of the present or any other war,
Collected.
JEREMIAII ETON'S,
Attorney-at-Law.
Mifflintown, Juniata Co., Pa. febl
JOSEPH S. DELL,
CLOTHIER
KO. 43 NORTH THIRD STREET, THIL ID'A
Clothing superior to any other estublis
tnenl in the City end at lower prices. Mer
chants will find it to their advautage to call.
All goods warranted. Presented by J. K.
fcwoyer. nov. 7- ly.
VJEW TOBACCO STORE Just received
i. at Barnes Cigar and Tobacco Store, a
fresh supply of pure Vara Cigars and Tobaccos.
Best Navy $1,00 per lb
2nd ' Wc. "
.i d " &uc. " "
Cases Gold Bar ..... 1.40 " "
Oranokc 1,40 " "
The best, brands Fine Cut loose and in foil,
and all kinds of Bright Tobacco at reduc
ed prices. The lovers of good chewing and
emoting tobacco are respectfully invited to
call and examine my stock.
June 20-tf. 4. T BARNES.
PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE .
PATTER SOX, PA.
Opposite Mifflin Station, on Prnn'a- Railroad
The undersigned would respectfully inform
liis friends and the public generally, that he
lias taken charge of the above named house.
The house is large and commodious, and
veil ventilated, and is fifed up in single
rooms and rooms for families, ana is open tUy
nd night. Persons wakeucd for any train.
The heal attendance given terms as reason
able as the times will admit.
F. M. MICKEY,
jan. SO-tf. Owner and Proprietor.
BEJVTISTli 17
13 t
1-3 1-3
li2 Ci ".Vi'??.-'&'0-- S3 3
DR. S. G. M'LAUGHL.H
OFFERS his professional services to the
citir.cns of Juniata uud adjoining coun
ties. Being in possession of all late improve
ments he Hatters h.mself lhat he can give en
tire satisfaction to those who may need his
services- Having had twelve years experi
ence, he is prepared to do all work in his pro
fession, either in gold, silvf r or vulcanite.
The hest of references given. Charges iu:d
trate to suit the times. OftVe in rooms for
merly occupied by T. R. MoClellan as a jew
li'ry at ore. Main Street, Mifflintown.
j.mt 12. l?"'.7-ly..
ADVANCE OF -SCIENCE.
Teeth inserted upon nn entirely new style
nf base, which is a nnrtibt mil t.n nf Hnltl an.t
', English Rubber, (vulcanite.) Also American
i Rubber, (vulcanite.) which for beauty, dura
. bility, cleanliness, and the restoration of the
1 natural color of the faco, cannot be surpass
ed. Either of the above basis
WARRANTED, FOIt TEN YEARS.
Temporary sets inserted Gratis,
Special attention will be made to diseased
gums, and a cure warranted or do charge
wad-. Tttlh tilled to last for life.
Triumph in dentistry!
TEETH EXTRACTED VIIIIOUT PAIN
ly a new process, without the use of ether,
chloroform or nitrous oxide, and no danger.
Having been in business for upwards of
ten years, five of which has been spent in
M illlintown, and being in possession of the
latest improved Initrumentt and .,; A, Wry I
warrant entire satisfaction, or the money will
be refunded. Otbee on Bridge Street, op
posite the Court House Square
G. L. I'ERR,
nov. 29. '65-ly. KeiiJtnt Dentists.
1 IFFLIN COACili WAGON M.VNUFAC
1 1 tory. We the undersigned beg leave to
inform our customs s and friends in this and
adjoining counties, that we have enlarged our
shop, aud by the addition of Steam Power,
aie prepared to do work at the shortest possi
ble notice.
We are constantly manufacturing and make
to order, every description of Coaches, Car
riages, Buggies, Sulkies, Wagons, &c, also
Family and Voak cutter sleighs. We are also
prepared to manufacture Itoad Wagons from
one to four hursc.
Having been working at the business for a
nun.ber of years ourselves, and employing
none but the best of workmen. We (latter
ourselves that our work cannot be surpassed
for neatness and durability ; in this or ad
joining counties.
We always keep on hand from twenty to
thirty set, of best second growth, Jersey
Hickory Spokes, in order to make durable
wheels And will warrant our work for any
reasonable time.
Sleighs and Buggies re-painted with neat
ness and dispatch. AH other repairing heavy
or light will receive strict attention. Come
and examine our stock and worx before pur
chasing elsewhere. Don't forget the name,
HEIFFLEFiNGKlt ,t CKlsWELL.
Corner or the Pike & Cedar Spring road.
June 27-tf. 0
JACOR REIDLER,
Dealer iu Drugs, Medicines, Src,
YV01' rf'Pfcfu"y inform the citizens of
V Mitllintown and surrounding country
that he has just received from the east a lare
and well selected assortment of Qru ::, Jfc I
ic:tit3, Ciiemicals,lre V.'ines anSZi.jvars,
for medical purposes only, and a general as
sortment of everything pertaining to his bu
siness. Physicians orders promptly filled at a
small advan.e of eastern wholesale prices.
toy-Prescriptions carefully compounded at
his Store, at Rollman Brothers' oil stand,
.Main street, two doors west of Retford's store,
MitHiutowti, Pa. jan 23, IS'iT-ly.
COAL AND LUMBER YARD. The under
sitined begs leave to inform tiia public
that he keeps constantly on hand a large Stock
of Coal and Lumber. II is stock embraces in
part, Stove Coal, Smith Coal nud Liuie-ijur-neis
Coal, at the lowest cash rates.
Lumber of all kinds and quality, such as
White Pine Plank, two inches, dj 1 Wliito
Pine Boards, 1 inch, do one-half inch. While
Pine worked Flooring, Hemlock Boards,
Scantling, Joice, Rooting Lath, Plastering
Lath, Shingles, Striping, Sash and l'oors.
Coal and Lumber delivered at short notice.
Persons on the East side cf the River can be
furnished with Limuhurners Coal, &.O., Iron)
the eoal yard at Tysons Lock,
nug 15-ly GEORGE GOSHEN.
-VfEVV DRUG STORE, Patterson, Pa. Dr.
1 P. C. hUNIHO wishes to inform the pub
lic thai he has just received au assortment of
Fresh Drugs and Medicines, of all kinds,
which he offers for sale at the Patterson Post
Oifice. He also keeps on hand Perfumery of
all kinds, and Hair Dyo and Extra Black Ink,
of his own manufacture. Persons in need of
anything in his lire will fiud it to their ad
vantage to give him a call.
B. Invalids can write a statement of
their symptoms or disease aud receive medi
cine and directions for their use. AU com
munications strictly confidential,
inarch 27, 1807-tf.
BUY THE BEST. Samuel Strayer, of Pat
terson, is the authorized Agent fur the
sale of the,
EMPIRE SEWING MACHINE,
and also for
THE WILCOX & GIBS.
T11 esc are the two best Machines manufac
tured. Tersons wishing to purchase should ca'l at
H.'cht & Strnycr's Store, iu Patterson, aud
examine for themselves.
SAMUEL STRAYER, Agent
Jan !), 1807
SADDLE AND HARNESS MANUFACTORY
in Pcrrysvillo! The undersigned having
located permanently in the Borough of Per"
rysville. two loors above Buck's Store, takes
this method of informing the public, that he
is prepared to manufacture all kinds of Sad
dles, Harness, Bridles, Collars, &c. &c, on
fhort notice, and on the most reasonable
tftrma t.no innl. .,.! Ik 1.1- ir
-uv; uu iiiuiue Harness,
I Whips, Fly-nets, and everything in his line
j of business, always on haud and for sale at
I lowest i-rices.
Repairing neatly executed, and all Work
. warranted !
-
Having bad several years experience in the
business be flatters himself that he can give
gen.-ral satisfaction. Call nn 1 examine for
yourselves herore gofjg c:? w'utc.
jane .ii, t -rf.
I). M. LZV.C
firrorrMATivFir
Oh, weave no wedding wreath for ma,
But make a good, strong cup of tea,
Connubial joys arc all t jo light ;
In these could I take no delight.
An easy chair, a book to read,
A poodle which is nil I need.
Then weave no wedding wreath for me,
But set the kettle on for tea.
Let foolish girls delight in beaux.
Mustaches black, and broadcloth clothes.
Bright boots, of patout leather sheen.
And starched cravats, blue, pink, aud green
Otic fig Priscilla would not give
For any 'feilcr" that doth live.
Then weave no wedding wreath f jr mo,
But put the kettle on for tea.
Then let the servant girl prepare
A supper good with needful care,
And steep the aromatic leaves.
From China brought, (as she believes)
Then shall my laugh with triumph to'.),
And when I hear the supper bell
I'll cry, '-No wedding wrvaih for me,
ltut eomfl and take cup uf t.f
Siiscrlkuuous raVum.
"aitectin G INCID ENT. """"""
The p'ay was a comedy' The chief
actor was a favorite otic, and the theatre
Ttas very ciowdcd. The curtain, drew up,
and, amidst a burst of applause, tlie hero
uf the piece made his appearuncc. lie
had hardly uttered twenty words, when it
Mruck me that something strange was the
matter with Liut. The play was boister
ous comedy of the old school, aud requir
ed considerable spirit and vivacity in the
aetors to sustain it properly ; but in this
man there was nunc; he walked and talk
ed like a pcr.-o:. in a dream ; his best
points he passed over whLout appealing
to uolicc them; and, altogether, ho ap
peared quite unfitted for his part. Ills
smile was ghastly, luuh hollow and un
natural; and frequently he would stop
suddenly in Lis ftpocoh ami lot Lia oye
wander vacantly over the audience.
Even when, in his character of a billy
husband, he had to suffer himself to be
kicked about by the young rake of the
comedy, and afterwards to behold that
careless individual making luvo to his
wife, and eating his supper while he was
shut up in a closet, from whence he
could not emerge, his cuutoiiior.8 of lu
dicrous wrath, which had never before
failed to call down plenty of applause,
wore now such dihtnal attempts to portray
the pasnion, that hisses were audible iu
various parts of the theatre. The audi
ence were fairly out of temper, and sev
eral inquisitive individuals indulged in
inquiries as to the extent of the potations
lie had indulged iu that evening. A
storm of sibilation and abuse now fell
around the ears of the devcted actor; and
not content with verbal insult, orange
peel and apples flew upon the stage.
lie stopped, aud turned to the shouting
crowd. I never saw such misery in a
human countenance. His ace was worn
and haggard, aud large tears rolled dawn
his painted checks. I saw his lips quiver
with iuward agony, I saw his bosom heave
with convulsions of suppressed emotion,
and his whole mien betoken such depth of
ancuish and distress that the most ruth
less heart must have throbbed with pity
The audience was moved, and by degrees
the clamor of invective subsided iuto a
solemn silence, whiio he stood near the
footlights, a spirit of dejection. When
all was calui, ho spoko, and io a voice
broken with sobs that seemed to rend his
bosom, proceeded to oficr his explanation.:
"Ladies and gcutlemen," said he,
"though in my acting to-night I am con
scious cf meriting your displeasure, in one
thing you do me wrong. I am not intox
icated. Emotion alone, and that of the
most painful kind, has caused me to ful
fil my alloled part so badiy. My wife
died but a few short bouts ago, and I
left her side to fulfil my unavoidable en
gagement here. If 1 have not pleased
you, I implore of you. to forgive me. I
loved Lcr, grieved for Lcr; and if misery
and anguish cau excuse a fault, I bear
my apology here !''
11c piaocd Lis haud upon bis heart and
stopped, aud a burst of tears relieved his
tnotneuUry paroxysm of grief.
The audience was thoroughly affected,
and an honest burst of sympathy made
the walls tremble. Women wept aloud,
aud strong men bileotly; aud, during the
remainder of the evening, hid pcrforin-
lauo'iwas s.-areclv audible, through th
kjtft-ofapplaoso by watch the crowd
sought to soothe the poor fellow s wounu
ed feelings.
There was something very melancholy
in the thoughts of that wretched man's
cvtuiug from the bed of death, to don gay
attire, aud utter studied witticisms for the
amusement of a crowd, not ouo of whom
dreamed of the anguish that lay festering
under the painted cheek and stage smile.
And, iu the great theatre of life, how
many are there aroind us like that poor
actor, smiling gaj'y at the multitude,
while at home lies'sorrow, whose shadows
are present with li:m in busy places.
IIUilOROUS ACCENT DY JIAUkl TWAIN,
OFADUNEKAT FAYAL-
Speaking of tlosc prodigious Portuguese
pennies reminds me that it takes one thou
sand reis (pr')uouticcd rays) to make a
dollar, and lhat all financial estimates are
made out in reis. We did not know this
until after we found it out, and found it
out through IJiucher. L!uc!ier said he
W$ Mt Jppy and so grateful to bo On
solid land once more that he wanlcd to
girc a feast said he bad heard it was a
cl.eip land, and he was bound to have a
grand banquet. He invited nine of us,
and we ate an excellent dinner at the
principal hotel. In the mid.-t of the jol
lity produced by good cigars, good wine,
and passable anecdotes, the landlord pre
scntcd his bill, llluehcr glanced at it,
and his countenance fell. Ifc took an
other look to assure hiuuclf that his sou
ses had uot deceived him, aud then read
the items in a faltering voice, while the
racs iu his check turned to a.-hes :
" 'Ten dinners, at (00 reis, G,U00 reis !'
Rain and desolation !"
" 'Twenty-five cigats at 100 rci.s, 2,500
reis!' Oh, my fainted mother !"'
'Klcvcu bottles of wine at 1.200 reis,
13,200 reis.' !e with us all ! 'Total
22,000 reis.' Great C:ear'B ghost ! there
mn t inonev tuouirli lu t'ltl si. in to nav I
liitit bill ! Uo -leave me to n,v Ul;Mrv
boys, I'm a ruined commuuity
I think it was the blankest looking par
ty I ever saw. Nobody could say a word
It was as if every soul had suddenly been
struck dumb. Wine glasses descended
slowly to the table, their couteuts untast
ed. Cigars dropped unnoted from nerve
less Ctigers. Kach man sought his neigh
bor's eye, tut found in it no ray of hope,
no encouragement. At last the fearful
silence was broken. The shadow of a
desperate resolve had settled duwn on
Uluchcr's countenance, like a cloud, aud
he rose up and said :
"Landlord, this is a wretched, mean
swindle, and I'll never stand it. Here's
one hundred and fifty dollars, sir, and it's
all you'll get I'll swim in blood, sir, be
foro I'll pay a cent mere !''
Our spirits rose and the landlord's fell
at least we thought so; he was confused
at any rale, notwithstanding ho had not
understood a word that had bceu said.
He glauced from tho little pile of gold
pieces to lilueher rcvcral times, and then
wcut on. He must have visited au Amer
ican, for, when he returned, he brought
back his bill translated iuto a language
that a Christian could understand thus :
10 dinners, (1,000 reis, or ? C 00
2cegars, L',000 teif., or
11 bottles wine, lo'JO reis, or.
2 M
13 '2k
Tola', 21.700 reis. or $11 70
Happiness reigned once more in IJlu-
cher's dinner party, ilore refreshments
were ordered.
5--3PA clergyman who enjoys the sub
stantial benefits of a fkc farm, was slight-
ly taken down a few days ago, by his Irish
plowman, who was sitting at his plow, in
a tobacco field, resting his horse. The
reverend gentleman, being au economist,
said with great seriousness :
'John, wouldn't it be a good plan for
you to have a stub scythe here and be
cutting a few bushes along tho fence while
the horse is resting a short time V
John, with, quite as serious a counte
nance as the divine wore himself, said :
"Wouldn't it be well, sir, (or you to
have a tub of potatoes iu the pulpit, and
when they are singing, to peel 'em a-while
to be ready for the pot ?"
The reverend gentleman laughed hear
tily, aud, left.
&An irrevcrout rascal publishes the
folluwiug atrocious conuudruiu : What is
the difference between a maiden of six
teen and a maiden of sixty ? One is
careli.n and hajtjty and the other hairless
ande;iptiyl
TUE TURONEOFJOLOllON.
An an'cicnt Persian Manuscript, relat
ing to the temple and the king's house,
gives a description of the throne of Sol
omon. Weil might the Queen of Sheba
exclaim : "Tbe half was never tolj me."
1 he sides of the throne were of pure
gold, ar.d the feet of it were emeralds and
pearls. The throne had 82ven steps. On
each side were delineated orchards full of
trees, the branches of which were of pre
cious stones, representing ripe and unripe
fruit. On the tops of the trees fowls of
the most beautiful plumage were repre
sented, and there were hollow within, and
made to utter sounds uf a thousand mel
odious tones.
Ou the first step were vine branches,
with bunches of grapes, composed of
stones, arranged in such a manner as to
give the different colors of purple, violet,
green and led, so as to represent the fruit
in its various stages from green to ripe
Ou the second step were two lions of pure
gold, and terrible, aspect as large as life.
The proprieties of the throne were such,
as wlieu Solomon put his foot on the first
step, the lions extended their paws; on
the second step, all the birds spread their
wings aud made a fluttering noise in the
air; on his reaching tho third step, the
whole assembly repeated the Deity; when
he arrived on the fourth step, voices were
heard addressing him thus : ''Sou of Da
vid, be grateful for tho blessing the Al
mighty bestowed upon thee," and the
sumo wai repeated on his reaching the
tilth step; on his touching the sixth step.
all the children sang praises; on his
reaching the seventh step, the whole throne
became iu uiotiou, aud ceased not until he
hud takeu his scat, when all the lions,
birds aud auimals by secret spring dis
charged a shower of delicate perfumes on
the king, aud two of the birds descended
and placed a golden crown on his head.
! ..... .1 ... .1 ... - J....
, -"cu gom, ou me top oi v, uicu was p.aceu
a goldeu dove, which had in its beak a
roll bound iu silver. In this roll were
written the l'salms of lavid,atrd tho dove
presented the roll to the King. He read
a porliou of it to the children of Israel
Ou the approach of a wicked person to
the throne for judgment, the lions set up
a terr.bte roaring and lathed their tails;
the birds began to greet their feathers;
ami the assembly set up such loud cries
that for fear of them no person would
dare be guilty of falsehood, but would in
stautly couJcss tueir crimes, feucu was
the throne of Solomon.
CURIOI'S CALCULATIONS-
A Xew England Johnny cake, taking
the old fashioned dimensions, is 16 inches
lon, G inches wido, and 1J inches in
thickness. Supposing the entire crop of
Illinois lor was ground iuto meal
and couvertcd into Johuny cakes, allow
ing one quart of meal to each cake, and
the Johnny cakes were laid up in the
form of a solid wail, 20 feet high and 20
feet wide, so that carriages could go abreast
thereon, this wall would reach from Dun
leith. It would surround the city ot Lon
don, covering 110 square miles with a
wall GO feet high, aud GO feet wide of
solid bread. Tnis immense crop would
put a Johuny cake ia the hands of every
man, woman and child, savage and civili
zed, upou the face of the habitable globe.
It would feed the plannet for two days
would require a crib 8 feet high by S feet
wide, allowing 2 feet to a bushel, C,27G
miles in length, reaching lrom l'assama
quoddy Bay to San Francisco, and a good
share of the distance back. If it were
converted into whisky, computing three
galous to a bushel, it would iortn an in
land sea sufficient to float the entire na
vies of the world. No man need starve
to death iu Illinois.
If all the kernels of this extraordinary
crop were strung on a wire, allowing two
and a half grains to an inch, lengthwise,
there being G7-200 in a bushel, this wire
would reach to the moon 200 times, lorm
ing a cable four incher in diameter.
lloeksillc ( Illinois) Register.
ita?""! wonder how they make lucifer
matches?" said Mrs. Caudle.
"The process ia very simple," said Mr.
Caudle, "I ouce wade one."
"How did you mauage it ?" she asked.
"15y leading you to the altar," replied
Mr. Caudle.
Vkky few people are truly wise, but a
great many, an immense majority are oth-
jcr wise.
WASHINGTON'S REVERENCE FOR THE
DAY AND NAME OF GOD. ,
Th "order to A" of the Revolutionary
army, now io the possession of Professor
Weir, of West Point, contains a general,
order of August Sd, 1776, which might
well be revived after the lapse of eighty
five years, and placed in the bands of ev
ery officer and soldier, with the foimal
sanction of the young Commander-in-chief
of our army. Washington was at the
head of about twenty thousand troops,
then defending the city of Nev Yoik ,
somo thirty thousand troops being in and
about the harbor when he issued the fol
lowing : "That the troops may lave an
opportunity cf attending public worship a.-f
well as to take some rest after thi great
fatigue they had gone through, the Gen
eral, in the future, excuses them front
fatigue duty on Sundays, except at tho
ship-yard, or on special occasions, until
further orders. The General is sorry to
be informed that the foolish and wicked
practice of profane cursing and swearing,
a vice hitherto little known in an Ameri
can army, is growing into fashion.. lie
hopes the officers will by example as well
as by influence, endeavor to check it ;
and that both they and the men will re
flect thkt we can have little hope of the
blessing of Heaven on our arms, if wo
insult it by our impiety and folly. Added
to this, it is a vice so mean and low,
without any temptation, that every man
of sense and character detests and de
spises it."
THE MOSQUITO ai'ESTIO.Y.
Josh Billings makes the following rc-
marks appropriate to the season : "We
are told there want enne thing made in
vain. That is sum so, bat I have tho't
the time spent in manufacturing muskc
tose must have been wasted, if the muF
ketose want. How they ware put togeth
er, I never could tell, and there is one
commershall peculiarity about the mus
muskeetcr trade, and thU is, the supply
always exceeds the demand, and yet the
producsion is not diminished; I kant un
derstand this, no how. They are born of
poor, but industrious parents, and are bro't
under the auspices of some of our best
families. They have also consummate
courage ; I have known a single muskec
ter to the a man and his wifo awl nita
long, and draw the fust blood. It is very
easy to kill musketose when you can ;
but in striking them, you are very apt to
hit the exact place where they wui. They
are cheerful little cusses, singing aa they
toil."
ISFWaggs went to the depot of one of
our railways the other evening, and find
ing the best car full, said iu a loud tone;
"This car isn't going !"
Of course these words caused a general
stampede, and Waggs took the best scat.
The cars soon moved off. In the midst
of the indignation, Waggs was questioned :
"You said this car wasn't going ?"
"Well, it wasn't then ; it is now !'
The "sold" laughed a little, but Waggs
came near g"tt:ug a good thrashing.
ISA Yaukeo youth and a pretty girl
sat facing each other at a husking party
The youth, smitten with the charms of
the maiden, only ventured a shy look,
aud now and then touched Patty's feet
under the table. The girl, determined to
make the youth express what he so warm
ly felt, bore with these advance a little
while in silence, when she cried out,
"Look here ! if you love me, 6ay so, but
dou't dirty my stockings."
. p
A Slight Mistake. A dry good3
merchant in Ycrmoat advertises as fol
lows :
"The female who carried a pair of lid
gloves from our store, took also, by mis
take, doubtless, half of another pair.
She is requested to return the odd glove
or to come to our store and get the one
lefc, as a singlo glove, like a single in
dividual, is poor stock until mated."
t& Itscrtiug an advertisement in a
newspaper and soliciting a puff for noth
ing, is like purchasing a coat pattern and
asking the merchant to "throw in" all the
trimmings.
jfcrThe diuuer given at the Hotel da
Ville, Paris, to the King of Portngal, was
served in the long gallery, the number of
puests bcice one hundred and fifty. At
j the concert which followed, about eight
hundred persons wete present.