Win. 0 eraser
E. B. Hawley,
E. B. HAWLEY & CO.,
THE MONTROSE DEMOCRAT,!
AND GENERAL JOB PRINTERS,
ihaa' rose, Susquehanna County, Pa.
OFFICE—West Side of Public Avenue.
Business Cards
BURNS & SICHOLB,
I : in Drugs, Medicines, Chemicals. Dye
raints,olls, Varnish, Liquors, Spicts.rancy
. Patent Medicines. Perfumer} and TolletAt
. ..Ir - PreAeription. carefully compounded.-
I;r:di Block, Montrose, Pa
, 1. Bun.,
,L.:l. 1i.9
t.raihate of the eniversity of lU leMon, AAA Arbor,
mat, and also of Jefferson Medical College of Phil.
deninis. I$ t. has retnrneti to Priendsvillee, where he
tcUI mimid to all calls to hts profession es Usual.—
in Jessie ilosforif n house. Office the same
brretoiore.
Fnen ille, Pa., April th., 1874.—fiui.
COUNAZI.LOtt AT LAW
No. lal Broadway, New York elty
tn. nds to oil kluds of Attorney Business, and coo
,l, t. valises in oil the Courts of both the Stste and the
t elate,
Fun .1, 1874 -'7.
DR. lb . TV. SMITH
uc arts Rooms at his dwelling, next door north of Dr
Ohl Foundry street., where bn7tbnld be
totop'y to roe all those In want of Dental al era. Ile
ft, I. confident that he can plates all, bottle qnality of
ork and in price. Office hoar. from 9 a. 2. to 4 e. a.
Mont boo. Feb. It. Isis—Lt
~.r Bonn. Pa. Situated near the Erie Rilllway De
p. Is a large and commodious house, bar abdergoee
luorough repair. Newly furniseed rooms and sleep
..p.oqineute,eplendld tablen,and allthlegs compels
, tog . stet class hotel. k.N BY ACE.E.R.T,
ioto. Froprietor.
B. 71 d E. E. CASE,
i lI N it-11-AL:BUS. Oak Harness, light and Leary
at ion est cash prices. Also, Blankets, Breast Blan
lists. Whips and everythiug pertalsaleg to the line
cheaper than the cheapest. Helisirliag done prompt
and lh good style.
Hon . ose, Pa.. Oct. 2h. 1611
LIE PEOPLE'S NALLEET.
1 . 1111.11 P RAMA, PrOprielUt.
, 411 and batted llama. Pork, Bologna Son
, etr ,of the beat quality. conatancly on hand. at
‘• uft
to
1 . 0„ Jan. 14. 144,11.-1 v
SI , IA N S RUEO N. I. wit,. the pi ofetmorial
s w Ilia citizens t Dintock. Pa 00le at the
I 1,1,3110e.0.V. 111 attend to all calla In hts prole*.
union be is tutored.
.Itd; .71.—ff.
BILLI_VGS STRO CD.
AL AS D LIFE INS;:rIANCti AC ENT. A . l
•e Attended to prompt I), ou fair terme. Older
dwor east or the bank o' Wu, 11. Cooper 16 Co.
Arepue,Mout.roet, Pa. [Aug.1,1869.
a!y BILLINas 5T1101713.
CHARLET MORRIS
I'llE EAST! EA BEER, has moved ht• shop to the
nt.ll.llngoer.aplerl by E. Itclienme & Co., where he le
prepared to do all Etude of work mills Ilne,such se ma.
I; lug twitcher, puffs. etc. All work done on short
and pee... low. Nesse call and see me.
LITTLES Lt. BLAKESLEE
T TURN EY S AT LAW, have remure:d to their Sew
upin.,.pposttv the Tarbell
R. B. LrrrLE,
(IEo. P. LITTLE,
E. 1... Bl...oCraL[t.
ir. B. DEANS,
DEAL - Ell In Book. C tntionety. Wall Pper. lievreps
pert.. rocket Cutlery, Sterenecoinc Yletwo, Yankee
unotts, etc. Next door to the Poet Orhee,
. 11. BEANS.
EEC=
EXCLIASG E 110 TEL
J. 11A IIItINGT ON u. lee. to inform the public that
hexing rented the Exchange lintel In Ittootroee, he
in now prepxred to accommodate the traveltugpubEe
.o Aret-ela” otyle
)dontroAc, Aug. to, Isla.
IL B URRITT.
lecater ,n Staple and Fancy Drs Goods, Crockery, Hard
wale, Iron, Sloven, Druv. One, and Palau, Route
and Shone, Gatv and Cape, Fare, Buffalo Robes, Gro-
Cartel', Fromlona.
a
N ale-51111°rd, 1 a., Nov, 6, '72—tr.
DR. D. A. LATHROP,
..nintsters Etzerno TllillataL BATHS. a .110 Foot of
Cn e.tnut street.. Call and consul to 2,1 Chronic
o ',eases.
►Montrose. Jan. 17.
DR N. W. DA 3'T0.3
tIYICIAN & SURGEON. servings to
at S
citisens of Great Bend and da d dy.tiy Office at bin
:as titmice. opposite Barnum Goose, G`t Bend village.
, ept. Ist.
LEWIS ESOLL,,
SHAVING AND HAIR DRESSING.
ea.}, in the new Poeto9lce bnildind. where he will
ne found ready to attend all who may want anything
in hts line. Idontrore Pa. Oct. 1.3 lea..
CHARLES ST'CADDARD,
leni e r In BOW! and Shoes, lista and Caps. Leather and
F.udings, Main Street, let door below Boyd'e Store.
Were made to order, and repairing done neatly.
at ontrore Jan. 1 18:0.
DR. ll'. L. RICHARDSON,
1 . .: VSICIAN S firtIIGEON, tenders hie profeeeiona
•rrrICC , to the citizen. of Montrose and Vicinity. —
. nac, at hien:Sider m. on the corner east of Sept, It
'trot Foohdry (Am:A. 10th.
q'u FiLL DEIII2-7'
A:: onnq• At Law and Subciturn in Bankruptcy. OHIc•
4:. 49 Court :street. over City National Bunk, Bing
44.4.09, N Y. WE. 11.Scoviu.,
J uu4: 1.19 1019. JELLOIa. DLWITT.
ABEL TUBLIELL
Dealer lu Dru,re Menicitles, Chemicals, Paints, Oils,
Dye stuffs. 'tcso, :plc... Palley Goods, Jewelry, Per'
lualer). a.e., Brick Block, Idontr,,se, Pa. Established
1,45. tlreb. 1, Itria.
LAW OFFICE.
ITCH & WATSON, Attorneys at Lew, at the old aide.
01 Bentley 6 Yltch. dlontroae, Pa.
r rrrea. I.bui.ll. '71.1 o'. 0 . WAT,ON•
A. 0. WARREN,
r 1 A LAW. Elonnty. Bacl l'ay. Peu•tug.
.t.d Earn, on Claim* attended to. (ItOce dr , l
•tJ r below Boyd's Store, Moutture.Ya.
w. A CROSSMON,
Attorney at Lair. °thee at the Court Howse, ie th
CotoinalFeioller . a Othct,. W. A. Cnoepxoh.
outruakt: Sent. .
J. C. WHEATON
CIVIL ENOVALEIt AVD LARD an:moron.
P. V. addrear, Franklin Fork P.
Bo Co., Pa
JOIIS GRO rEs,
„ nu , A ,"•.F. UR, Monona, P. tqlop o•e
, , re. Al , order• fined to drat-rate
L andler St
uotice, and aruranted to fit,
LOOM 011
tr . MITH,
ASIN ET AMD CHAIR hi.._4l•WF°4,lnats.---11869.
' OO
of Main street., Montrose, Pa. 3sag. 1.
M. C. St7Tralc,
A CPT lONEE.II., and GISCI.I.ANCT. AVEXT,
&MI .191,/
BT. Pa.
-
D. w SEARLE,
• rroitNEY AT LAW, Once over the Store of 31.
Jewigiact tbe Brick Block 310 arrow: ,Pe. taut 69
J B. & A. 11. ifel.:ol.L. UM,
Tr.,. ca. AT Law 001ce over the Dank. MOUtrOt .
l'a Mau trcree. May 10, ital.
AMI EL Y,
..641,1ines, Brooklyn, Vs
~ , L- C TIONEER
Ju.c 1, lel.l,
M - mm
deo rfirivrigivc
Micooutecti
AT THIS OFFICE. CHEAP.
•rry tro.
VA
ONTROSE- DEMOCRAT.
TWO DOLLARS PER YEAR IN ADVANCE.
VOLUME 31.
TOO OLD FOIL KISSES
BY IL 11. STODDARD
My uncle Philip, hale old man
A Yo■ Niazots
Has children by the dozen:
Tom, Ned and Jack, and Kate and Ann—
How many call me "cousin?"
Good boys and girls, the best was Bass ;
I bore her on my shoulder,
A little bud of loveliness
That never should grow older
Her eyes bad such a pleading way,
They seem to say, "Don't strike me
Then, growing bold, another day,
"1 mean to make you like me."
1 liked my cousin, early, lute,
Who liked not little misses ;
She used to meet me at the gate
Just old enough for kisses
This was, I think, three years ago—
Before I went to college
I learned one thing there—how to row,
e v"
A healthy sort of knowledge,
When I was plucked (we won the race,)
And all was at an end there.
I thought of Uncle Philip's place,
And even country frienli there.
My cousin met me at the gate ;
She looked five, ten years older—
A tall young woman, still, sedate,
With manners coyer, colder,
She gave her hand with stately pride,
"Why, what a greeting this is;
You used to kiss me." She replied,
"I am too old tor kisses."
I loved, I love my cousin Bess ;
`he's always in my mind nose;
A full-blown bud of loveliness—
The rose of womankind now !
She must have suitors; old and young
Must bow their beads before her;
Vows must be made and songs be sung
By many a mad adorer !
But I must win her; she must give
To me her youth and beauty ,
And I—to love her while I live
Will be my happy duty:
For she will love me soon or late,
And be my bliss of blisses,
Will come to meet me at the gate,
Nor be too old for kisses !
How IT CAME ABOUT
She sat in the shade of the portico
Busy with some sweet task ;
The Spanish eyes and the forehead low,
ma by the airy mask
Of the dusky hair that had rippled down
As he sprung over the flower bed—
In Booth, she had purposed to frame a frown
But ebe framed a smile instead !
lie took her hand in that certain way,
More eloquent than words;
No sound fell into the silent day,
Save the chirp of the orchard birds;
tier work lay close by her side unecanned,
The hook on her knee unread—
In tooth the had purpo-ei to loose Vie hand
But he caught the other instead !
And when with the wealth of the rosy June
The bees to their hives had got,
He leaned through the lull of the sleepy noon
And whid,pered a—you know what!
She swayed from his earnest eyes, and low
She burled her blushing head—
In sooth, she had purposed to say, "No! no r
But she murmured - Yes instead !
RR. WADDLE'S STORY
It was at the Boston and Albany rail
road depot in this cite that I first saw
Mr. Wand'e. I was going to \Porches
ter that after noon. The "express' starts
about two demo*, I believe, and us I had
fifteen minutes to spars, I went into the
gentleman's waiting room and sat down.
The gentleman in the next seat to mine
started no the moment I vat down, and
made a rush for the door, casting a fear
ful glancd over his shoulder at me. Then
the door closed behind him.
He was a very singular looking gentle
man, at the first glance you would have
te ken him for a man of sixty. His hair
was white as snow, while his whiskers.
which he wore Yung and straggling, were
black as Day S Martin's blacking. His
nose wus a Boman : his eyes small, dark
and nstless ; face pale-as the palest moon
beam that ever beamed, and his trem
bling lips blue. He was a small man,and
so thin that you could haye bored a hole
through him anywhere with a two inch
gimlet.
But what was be afraid of me for ?
Am I each a terrible looking fellow ?
rather think not. At least, my friends
don't seem to think eo.
-'No," said I, 4 that man has been doing
something—and its something awful.
And yet he don 4 look as if he was capa
ble of committing any great crime.—
Perhaps now, the poor geLtleman is only
runnine away from his creditors."
. . .
Brit I had nd more time to waste in
conjectures, fon the train was ready ; and
so, taking my valise, I went out, and was
just passing through the gate, when 1
saw the thin gentleman dodge behind a
very corpulent uld lady who stood a few
paces to the right of me. But I saw his
restless dark eye gleaming at me over the
old lady's Fh4der.
"Well, if yo go on this train, my dear
x li
sir,lll see mo eof you before I get to
Worchester." And passing through the
gate I got into the cars.
Every seat as occupied in the first car
that I went in o. As I entered the next
car by one door, the thin gentleman en
tered the othee, but he didn't see me.—
He advanced long the aisle. glancing
cautiously to he right and left, sailed
into a seat, an the next moment I sat
down beside r .
The thin ntleman started up and
made an attetript to spring out of the
window, but II caught him by the collar
t i
and forced hi back into the deaf:
"Then you o want me ?" he said,trem
bling as if withague.
"Yes, I Walt you to sit down, and not
attempt to d It your brains out by throw
ing yourself ut of the car window. If
you don't wa t to go—"
POETRY.
STORY TELLER
MONTROSE, PA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1874.
"Oh, but I do'. Ido !" Then he put
his lips to my ear. "You won't take me
hick, my deur fellow, will you ?"
"Take you hack ! Why should I take
you back ?" And then the thought
flashed through my brain that I was sit
hug by the side of an escaped luna.ic,
and I began to feel quite as uncomfort
able as my companiul . "Who do you
think I am ?" I asked.
"You are a detective, and my wife has
put you on my track:" answered the this
geoileamn, in a hoarse whisper, glancing
anxiously around among the passengers,
as if fearful that some one would over•
hear Mtn.
I laughed.
"No, my dear etr, von were never more
mistaken in your life. I'm plain Rubin
son Dobson, watchmaker, Wash ington
He grasped my hand.
"Egad ! I knew I had seen you Wore;
and I thought—but, by the way, don't
you know my wife ?"
"How should I ? Why, I don't know
you, and I don't think I eier saw you be
fore."
"Then you don't know her—don't yon
know Mrs. Duncan Wallah. !"'
Then he threw himself back in his
seat with a sigh of relief. Then he mop
ped his lace with his pocket handkerchief
and in the act, his black whiskers fell to
the fluor, leaving his face almost as
smooth° as a glass bottle.
"Ha l" I exclaimed.
"I am Duncan Rand e, cried he, clap
ping his whi-Ai--re into the crown oh itiE
hat, and clapping his hat on his head.
"And Mrs. Duncan Wandle is your
wife ?."
"DonWy =o ; and I am running away
from her, by thunder! Tes, Mr. Doh.
son. I'm roonmg, away from the aforesaid
female. I'm going to Sam Franeisco,and
if she follmrs me there I'm going to the
Sandwich Islands, and so on, clear round
the world."
"And suppose. she follows you all the
way round ?"
`Then gn round again."
"And if she still follows ?"
"I'll limp going round till I tire her
out."
"A stern chase to a lung one, they say."
"And Mrs. Wandie will find it so, Mr.
Rubinson Dobson." And he jammed his
hut over his eves and looked very deter
mined indeed.
For the next fifteen minutes Mr. Wan.
dle never opened his mouth. Ile closed
his small black eyes, and I thought he
had gone to sleep, but he startled me
suddeniy by grasping my arm and ask
ing me if I liked stories.
"Yes. Mr. Wardle. nave you got one
to tell?"
"Hare I got a story to tell ? Well,vou
bet I have, and I'm going to tell it to yon
whether you listen or not. Fact is, I've
got to tell my story or bust, Mr. Robinson
Dobson, that's just what's the matter
with me."
"I'm all attention, my dear sir," I re
plied, "and really I must confe - tn that I
am very anxious to hear your story."
"Well, you shall hear it. HI take my
hat off to k.ep my brain cool, for the
fact is. Mr. Robinson Dobson, when I get
to thinking, and when I remember what
I was. and then consider what I am. why
air. I feel as if I should go mad. Some
titura I think lam mad. What do you
think about it ?"
"Why," said I. railing at the odd clues.
thin of my friend, ' when I saw you try
ing to throw yourself out f the window,
I tnil think your mind was rather un
siiund."
"Of course pm did. What else could
you think ? Why, I don't believe lam
perfectly sane, do you ?"
• • I (All tell better when I hear your
story. perhaps."
••Well. perhaps co. I'll tell it, and then
'f you think I hire been through with
ea m m h to make a man inane, whv,when
we get In Worcester. von just chuck mei
into the ai4yhim. I'll be out of the way
of me wife then. anyway."
"To begin, then, ten years ago I was a
happy man. I was a bachelor of thirty.
and had just come into possession of con
sideralde property by the death of my
father. As he was my only father. and
was los only child. of o , llrs, it fell to me,
and it Was a very pretty plum I assure
you.'
"At that time I reside I in Boston,
boarding with Mrs. Josephine Hickory
diekery. She was a widow and about my
own age. She was a large woman, a very
large woman, Mr. Dobson, and 1 am a
very small man, and quite thin, too.—
Yon notice my thinness? Yee. Every•
body does."
"But to return to Mrs.Hickorydickery.
Bides being very extensive in her pro
portions, she had rid hair. Your wife
may hare red hair,and your children,and
all your relation, and you may think it is
the most beautiful color in thr world for
hair, but dye my eyebrows, it I do!"
"Aside from her hair, Mrs. Hickory
dickory was a fine looking woman, and I
told her so. She didn't thank me for
telling her, of course. Her sex is never
thankful, no matter what you do for 'em.
You may not think so, Mr. Dobson, but
I can't help that I have seen something
of women, and I know them just like a
book."
"Now, I'm not naturally a marrying
man. The simple fact that I remained‘a
bachelor unto I was thirty years of age,
without even making love to a woman,
proves that. I think. And I might have
remained a bachelor until this day, if it
hadn't been tor that property that my
father left me. Pm not handsome. You
smile. as if you doubted my word, but
I'll leave it to any woman with a well
balareed head, if I am not about the
poorest specimen of humanity she ever
saw. lam not tallented. I have not a
single talent for anything. As Professor
Bumphier said when he examined my
head :
"-Mr. Wandle. said he, you ask me to
tee you a chart but you don't need one.
Yours is a very serious case, he con lien.
tied, and I feel almost inclined to doubt
The facts ; but phrenology aever
the truth of the matter is this : you're a
perfect damphool And the phrenolo
gical gentleman was right, Mr. Dob on.
Devoted to the Interests of our Town and Oounty
I told him so, and gave him a dollar for
his h mut sty."
"Now,_with these facts before you, sir,
you naturally ask, why should any wo
man want to matry me ? Why for my
money, of course. They never thought
of throwing sweet glances at me until I
became a roan of w, ulth. Then, sir,wheu
it became known that [ counted my tuba
ey by thousands, every unmarried female
at Mrs. Hickorydickery's went for me.—
M Iss Lute—she was a fluxes haired crea
ture, with blue eyes and a milk•and-wat
ery complexion—used to play for me
every night in the parlor ; and she hang.
ed that poor piano Imp( there was no
an re music left in it than there is in a
dry stick. Miss Retie. she was also a
blioide, and sang for me. Yes, she sung
to me until she was so hoarse that .he
couldn't speak above a whisper. Miss Nutt
read poetry to rue. Read it until she
had exhausted every native poet, and
ti enoustead f commencing no th e E ll .
bards, she hired a newspaper fellow
to write sonnets to my eyes, my nose, and
my beauty generally ; and she published
those sonnets under her own name, and
then, read them to me."
"Miss Dott danced with me. Yes we
waltzed and waltzed, until one evening.
the sweet creature slipped out of my
arms, fell, and broke her leg. Then she
was satisfied."
"But the playing and singing,t he read
ing and the waltzing was nothing to one
thing more I had to anderg i. Mrs. Hick
orydickery used to fald me in her arms
and kiss me I Yea, sir, I was obliged to
be kissed and by a woman with red hair,
fur how could I help myself ? I was weak
and she was along. But if she only had
only kissed me, I might have Leen happy
yet. But she wasn't satisfied with that,
she always managed to have some one
else in the room, and she alwa%a made
them think that I was the affectionate
one, that I was doing all the kissing.—
Of course she could handle me just like a
puppet : and she'd say :
Now, Mr. Wandle, you shan't kiss me
nule.rs you're the strongest, end I know
von are!
That was the why she did it, and it
wasn't long before all my friends were
bothering me about the lovely Widow
Hiekorydiekery, for they all thought I
was really in :nee with her.
At lust, one night the widow told me
that she had waited long enough.
===lll
Yes, banean. Why can't we be mar
ried this fail just as well as to wait uutil
next winter:'
«•ell, ma'am, enid L's ont you wait un•
hi I have asked you to marry me ?
Ask me ! Do von m -an to soy that you
havn't asked me ? Do you :neau to say
that—
/ledll to say jll9/ tli s, Said 1, starting
np and looking az: large and tierce as
could. I mean to say that I never asked
von, and I never intended to a s k you to
become Mrs. Randle
"The widow smiled and folded me to
her bosom."
Don't gi.t mad, Duncan, dear, said she
you know you are going to marry me.
"Never I cried. -
Then I shall sue von for breech of
promise
Rut I haven't promised'
"I\e shall see, my dear :^
"Very well, we trill see."
"Good night. love."
"The next morning, I ctilled upon my
lawyer and stated my ca,e.
"Better marry her," said Mr. Grogg,—.
"She's got everything her own way,and it
von go to law about it, you'll loose the
case, sure. But perhaps yon can settle
with her fur ten thousand dollars. II
you can, settle, and in future, as the elder
Weller said to his sou Sammy, •'Beware
of the widders!"
"But the widow wouldn't settle for ten
thousand ; and so—and so—l—l mar
ried her."
Mr. Wandle paused here. and covered
his face with his hat to hide his emotions.
At last he recoitered sufficiently to con
tinue his stDrv.
"After we were married she g ave up
her boarding-house, and we lived in the
grandest style imaginable. Nothing W3I
too rich or too rare (or my wife. She in
vested a fortune in t iamonds alone, and
in less than a year, my dear sir. Duncan
Wandle wasn't worth a cent. Mrs. Wan
d!, had either spent it, or got it into her
own hands, and I was left with nothing.
"1 proposed to Mrs. Wandle that we
should separate, and she agreed to the
proposal. A week atter, I started for the
Rest; and finding friends in Chicago,
soon obtained a situation. but learning
that my wife might, at some future day,
conic after her little hubby, !is she used
to call me. I applied for, and 'obtained a
bill of divorce.
"Then, my dear sir, I was happy. As
happy almost as I had been in my bache
lor days. But I was born to ill luck and
it follows me.
"One day my Uncle Benjamin came
home from Australia; of course he didn't
come home in one day. but lie arrived in
Chicago one day. came to see me, was ta
ken sick that night, and the next morn
ing he was dead. As I had seen my uncle
half a dozen times during his life. my
grief at his very sudden departure was
not extraordinary heartrending; but
when I found, after the funeral, that he
had left me half a million of Mon
ey I tell you Mr. Robinson Dobson,
I fairly howled, for I knew that my late
wife would be after ins, and how was I to
protect myself.
"As 130011 as I could, conveniently, I
packed my trunks and left for St. Louis:
and I was not a moment too anon, for
my former partner appeared in Chicago
the very day I left. She followed ma to
St. Louis, and I hurried away to Cincin
nati. Then I went to Baltimore. to Phil
adelphia, and at last to New York, with
that woman closer at my heels. However,
she lost the scent at last. She went up
the Hudson to Albany, and I went to
Newport.
"It was right in the height of the sea
son. and I determined that I would mar
ry the first handsome and agreeable lady
that I could find, who would have me.
In less than a week I made the isequain
tanee of just the woman I wanted. She
was beautiful, very.
I think I was almost in love with her
beauty. She had black hair. and 1 al
ways did dote on raven tresses; and then
such sweat and dovelike eyes! Yes, I al
most loved ber,but my reason fur wishing
to marry her was that I might have a
wile to protect me against lira. Hickory•
dick erv.
I suppose I should have taken my law.
yer's advice and kept away from the wid-
UNA, for my intended was cue. But she
is - as su beautiful that I had made up my
mind to marry her if possible, even before
learning her name.
It was said hy those that knew, that
Mrs. Jarvis Freeman was wealthy, and
consequently sh'. had scores of lovers, old
and young. But what surprised them
all writ S that such a magnificent woman
(ate was a perfect Juno in form) should
deign to cast her eyes upon me. Perhaps
they forgot that I was worth half u
Fin sure that. I was fool enough to
think that she loved me fur myself alone.
Our 0)1111811'p was short, for before the
end of the reason Mrs. Freeman had
prom sed to be mine.
She returned to her home in New
York about the first of September, and I
billowed her goon after. I stood, in such
fear of my former wife that I couldn't
ieel site outside of Mrs. Freeman's pro
tecting presence. We were married in
October. Air bow well I remember that
day What a sense of relief stole over
my senses when the minister pronounced
us otie!
"We were going to Europe on our wed
ding tour; hut we ,didn't go. No—we
didn't go."
Here Mr. Wanttle stopped to groan,
and .train he covered his face with his
list. But after a momentary pause be
went on agaio :
"Immediately after returning 'from
church ni) wife retired to her room. Her
maid came to me soon after, and said that
her mistress would like to see me.
- When I entered the room she was
seated in an easy chair, looking, if pos
sible, more beautiful than ever.
Duncan,' she began. smiling sweet
ly. have sent for you for a very partieu
purpose.
"'Well, darling.'
"'Well Daneam the gentleman of
'Yhotn I hlrei this house and this furni
ture is very anxious about the rent,and—'
" •What'! hired ? Don't yrda dwu the
house?'
•Is it possible that you don't recog
nize me? Don't you know your own
Josephine ? AllO woh a laugh she
threw off her oeautiful black glossy
hair.
'A wig!'
"Yes, a wig, "titti.by dear. Vim see
had my real hair cut close lied covered it
up, because I knew von didn't like the
vent are—.
"•I am - Mrs. Wandle, formerly Mrs
Hickorydiekory.' Asd she laughed sweet
Iv.
"'But your complevou ?' I gasped
."1 , :th00,11,d, my love.'
'Great heavens! and you've got me
again?! I groaned. throwing myself into
a chair.
"'Yes, my darling, you are doubly
mine, now, lor we've been twice mar
ried.' "
-I gave it up then," he said. "I thought
at useless to tight against fate, particularly
when the fate was a woman, and euch a
woman as my wife. But yesterday we
came friim Boston, and I can't tell - you
why, but once there, my courage revived,
and I determined to cut loose foom my
wife at once and forever. I've got toy
money where she can't get it, and I'll
spend every cent rather than let her etch
me again. But if she once gets her eye
Oh inc, 1 . 11 have to However,
she 0 at the Revere House, and I am
here."
Mr. Wandle paused to wipe the per
emration from his brow. Then he look
ed into his hat, and then he turned his
small black eves on my countenance.
.•Bul I've got my eye On you." said a
voice. Mr. Randle iitiercd a piercing
shrek. jammed his hat over his eyes and
sank into one corner of the teat.
I turned and confronted an elegai,tly
dressed lady of magnificent proportions,
sitting in the scut directly' hack of us. I
had noticed her before, more particularly
from the fact, that until now she had
been closely veiled. She smiled sweetly
as her eyes met mine.
T.) 1.; Is Mrs. Wandle, I presume," said
"Yes, sir. 31y husband, I believe, has
been tclli.ig von about my little peculi•
arities," laughing. "Would you object
to changing seats with ule?"
•`O, ; tud in the least."
I arose. Mr. Wandie equir,nrd, and
turned an imploring look on my face, but
I could not kelp km. Mrs. Wandle took
my place, and I wont into the smoking
cur.
So ended Mr. \Vaudle's story. I have
seen horn twice since, but always in com
pany with the lady whom he has twice
married.
A young blood, much given to quizing
ieople, went into an eating saloon, and
with quite a deal of flourish took a seat
at one (if the tables. A colored waiter
approached him with a look of inquiry
on his shining mug.
"Well, salt ?"
"What have you got to eat ?"asked the
customer.
"0, got almost anything, boss."
"You have, eh ?"
"Yes, 9ah, shuer."
"Almost anything. Well, well, give
me a plate of that," said he, looking tit
the darkev.
• Th• waiter returned his gaze for a mo
ment, and catching the fellow's id•:a of
quizing him he celled to the cook ut the
further end of the room:
"One plate of hash!"
"What's that ? I ordered a plate of
that—didn't you understand? Almost
anything—which you spoke of."
"Well. sal., dar's most anything in
hash." Yob ! vah ! and the durkey laugh
ed as though he really enjoyed the joke
that he had turned upon the quizer.
"Unmanned by the loss other husbil4tr
is the new style of indicating a widow's
grief.
FIFTY CTS. EXTRA IF NOT IN ADVANCE
MISCELLANEOUS READING
CARPENTER'S LOVE SONG.
Oh! Polly, dear, when first we met
It seemed designed by Fate,
For gimlet-like your eyes, my sweet,
This heart dir penetrate.
My katures arc not chisled out
With aught like classic grace,
Though chisel cuts upon my nose,
That time will ne'er efface.
You had a handsomer lover once,
A painter and a grainer,
An honest carpenter, 'tis true,
Though not a great deal pla(i)ner.
My fortune-teller gives no hype,
Yet this grim sybil maugre,
I won't give up my suit, but will
Consult another auger.
I have a heart of oak, my dear—
One that is leal and true—
But, Oh this heart ot. oak, my own,
Doth turn to pine, for you!
Wilt' be my plummet and my line—
Become my wedded wile—
Be spliced in holy bonds to me—
Veneered to me for life!
And time no change in me shall work,
Nor fortunes little slips,
Blest, it from th' ancient stock there spring
A dozen little chips !
Oh ! on our wedding day, my Poll,
Well have much mirth and revel I
For I will rise that day above
My common • eoirit•level
1 N ENOLISII DINNER
We decide upon a dinner and then in
vite the most eligible ' noodle of a noble
man we can find to occupy the chair, en
deavoring to fix upon one whose political
opinions are not so strorg as to make him
obnoxious to either party. Flattered by
the invitation, the noble noodle consents.
Then we go to moneyed men, saying,
'Lord Toni Nobody or Prince Good•for-
Nothing is to preside at our dinner. Will
you be Steward?' Glad to keep fine corn.
pony, though only for a few hours, these
gentlemen consent, knowing, as does the
hiuiman, that a subscription is the pen
alty paid for the notoriety or honor thus
conferred. Chairman and Steward se
cured, smaller lights are only to glad to
buy tickets. The dinner is given; we
coach the Chinaman about the charity in
which he is supposed to be profoundly in•
terested, about which he speaks in a sin•
gularly parrot-like manner, heads the
subscription with £25 or £2O, the stew
arks follow with less or greater sums,
more private individuals swell the amount,
the list of subscribers is read at the din
ner, published In the next day's newspa
pers, and out of the vanity of humanity
our noble charity is set upon its legs.
Desirous of testing these dinners, I as
sisted at several, humiliated as I felt at
the first by being allowed tea and sand
wiches in one room, while the tyrant man
sat down to joints and removes in another.
I went on this occasion to hear royalty in
the shape of the Duke of Edinburg
speak. I f royalty had anything to teach"
I wished to learn it in one easy lesson.—
After the feeding came the national an
them, of course. For the I-don't-know
how-many-eth time God was commanded
to save the Queeh, and, right or wrong,
con founded her enemies. Then His Roy
al Highness rose amid a tremendous chit
ter of knives, forks, glasses, and plates
that did duty as claque. Everybody lis
tened as though pearls were about to
drop front his lips. In a voiu hesitating,
and with an absence of command of lan,
guitge that w3uld have astonished an
A mer,can ashy, His Royal Highness con
trived to propse his Royal Highness the
Prince of Wales, the Princess of Wales,
and the rest of the royal family, adding,
"I presume I need not say - anything to
recommend the toast to you." "More
sensible words were never spoken," ex
claimed the next day's leader. •'We are
not surprised that loud cheering greeted
the announcement." There was no doubt
about the cheering. His Royal Highness
attempted to say a good word for the
theatrical profession. and grievously mur
dered the Queen's English. His inane
tautology was received as we would re
ceive the utterances of a Webster or a
Philips, while the humor of the comme
dam, Buckstone, and the graterul speech
of the elegant Alfred Wigan, an actor of
whom England has a right to be proud—
both of whom spoke after all the noble•
men present had aired their stnpiaity—
' were accepted es clever, but were not al.
lowed to produce such demonstration as
only belongs to the people. I was dis- .
gaited, not with the Duke of Edinburg,
(who blames the sacred cat once worship
ed by the Egyptians !) but with his flunk
ies.
HOUSEHOLD MEASURES.
As all families art not provided with
scales and weights, referring to ingredi
ents in general use by every housewife,
the following information may be useful:
Wheat flour, one quart is one pound.
Indian meal. one quart is one pound
and two ounces.
Butter, when soft, one quart is one
pound one ounce. ,
Loaf sugar, broken, one quart is one
pound.
White sugar, powdered, one quart is
one pound one ounce.
Beet brown sugar, ono quart is one
pound two ounces.
Eggs, average size, ten eggs are one
pound.
Sixteen large tablespoonsfuls are a hnlf
a pin t,eight are a gill, four are a half gill,
etc.
Never be sorry for a generous thing
that you ever did, even if it was betrayed.
Never be sorry that you were magnani
riums, if the man was mean afterwards.—
Never be sorry that you gave. It was
right for you to give even if you were
imposed upon. Yon cannot afford to
keep on the sate side by being mean.
The Japanese census shows only three
thousand criminals in a population of
over thirtythree million souls.
THE Morraosli DEMOCRAT
Contain. all the Local and General New s, Pootry.fito•
rtes. Anecdotes. Miscellaneous Meading,CorreepO.d.
erica, and a reliable els.. of savertheakents.
One square. (X, of an inch Sp; ce,)3 yr belts, or lee*, $
t month. sl..ri; 5 months, 62.60; 6 months,. 6410 I
year. 60.5 0 . A liberal discount on advertisements of •
creater length. Business Locale 10 cts. a line for first
Insertion, sod 5 cis. a line each subsequent Itifilrtlnu.
ILsrriage• and deaths, free ; obituaries, 10 eta. a
NUMBER 42.
Why does boiling fast render meat
hard ? Because the excessive action of
heat causes the albumen of the meat to
set solid, crisps up the flesh fibers, and
prevents heat having a gradual access to
the interior.
Why, when a good soup or broth is re
quired, should the meat be put in cold
water? Because, as the heart is devel
oped very gradually, there Occurs an in
termixture between the juices of the flesh
and the external matter. The unable and
savory parts of the meat escape and en
rich the soup.
Why are stews generally healthful and
digestible? Because being compounds
of various substances, they contain all
the elements of nutrition, and as the of
fice of the stomachs to liquify solid food
before digesting it, the previous stewing
assists the stomach in this respect.
Why in frying fish should the fat or
oil be made very hot before putting in
the fish ? Because if the temperature is
low when the fish are put in the frying
pan, it becomes sodden in the steam
forined—bßits water, but if the oil be very
much head the water will be at once
driven off, and the fish nicely browned by
the scorching oil.
Why should fish or meat that is being
fried be frequently turned? Because
the turning assists the evaporation of the
water. When the fish or meat is allowed
to lie too long, steam is generated under
it, and the moment the steam is driven
off, the surface catches to the hot pan,and
becomes burnt and broken.
Why is broiled .meat so juicy and sa
vory? Because the action of the fire,
hardening ifs surface, seals up the pores
through which the juice might escape.—
It acts in the same way that the sudden
dip into boiling water does upon the
joints of meat, but more effectually.
Why is cabbage rendered more nutri
tious and wholesome by being boiled in
two waters ? Because (according to Dr.
Paris) cabbage contains au essential oil.
which is apt to produce bad effects; and
he recommends that they should be boiled
in two successive waters, till they are soft
and digestible.
Dr. Wm. H. Hammond, in discussing
the sanitary influence of light, observes
that the effects of deficient light upon
the inmates of hospital wards and sick
chambers have frequently come under
his special notice; that most physicians
know how carefully the attendants upon
the sick endeavor to exclude every ray of
light from the apartment, and even some
members of the profession are singularly
assiduous in this respect; but that the
practice, except in some cases of actual
disorder of the bruin and other parts of•
the nervous system, is pernicious, admits
of no question. During the late civil
war Dr. H. visited a camp and hospital in
West Virginia, in consequenee of infor
mation received that the sickness and
mortality there prevailing were unac
countably great, and he made a minute
examination into all the circumstances
connected with the situation of the camp,
the food of the men, dtc. Among other
peculiarities, he found the sick crowded
into a small room, from which the light
was excluded by blinds of india-rubber
cloth. The patients were us effectually
bleached as is celery by the earth being
heaped up around it; pato, bloodless,
ghost-like looking forms, they seemed to
he scat cely mortal, Convalesence was,
under such circumstances, according to
Dr. Hammond, almost impossible, and
his belief was that many of the men had
died, who, had they been subjected to
the operation of the simplest laws of na
ture, would have recovered.
•
TO MAKE APPLE DUMPLINGS.
The following very good receipt is from
the Cincionatti Gazette:
First procure good, sour, juicy apples,
pare and core, leaving them in halves.—
Get all your ingredients ready before be
ginning to mix your dough ; sugar, soda,
sour milk, lard, salt, flour and apples.—
Now make,s,dough as for soda buiscuit
only adding a little more lard to make
it shorter. Take a bit of dough out on
the kneading-board and after kneading
roll this as for pie -crust. Then cut in
pieces long enough to cover an apple, al
lowing for lapping the edges. Put in
two of your apple halves, sweeten accor
ding to taste, and cover apple and sugar
with dough. Lay the dumplings in your
bread-pan the amoothe side up, first hav
ing your pad well buttered. Proceed in
this manner until you get your pan well
filled, (he sure it is a large sized pan, for
they will go off like hot cakes;) then
place a small bit of butter on the top of
each dumpling, sprinkle a handful of su
gar over all ; then place in a moderate
oven and allow them to bake one honi.---
Serve (not too hot) with pudding sauce,
or with sugar and cream.
When a man has been out in the world
a long time, earning his meat mid drink
in any other business than that 01 school
keeping, it is astonishing how ignorant
he soon becomes, and with what awe ho
listens to little girls bounding the prin.
cipal countries of Europe, and stating
the latitude and longitude of principal
cities—perhaps spelling-with ease and ao•
curacy, many of those puzzling words
which always send us to our - Webster
Unabridged. It is astonishing how we
shed our learning as we get older.
Wben intoxicated, a Frenchman wants
to dance, a German to sing, an English.
man to eat, a Spaniard to gamble, an
Italian to boast, a Russian to be afeetion.
ate, an Irishman to light, an American
to make a speech.
When we are abroad, we can bear well
enough with foul ways, nasty streets, nol
sortniditches. but a spot upon a dish, at.
home, or an unwept hearth, absolutely
distracts us.
IS PDsiItUZD ETZIKWZDXZ/DAT M 0112,1310
Advertising Bates:
THE REASON WHY.
SUNLIGHT FOR THE SICK.
When the heart is still disturbed by
the relics of . 11 passion, it is. Droner to
take ups new one than when wholly cured.